Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by LouaiB

@Anju So, it's a good thing right? The situation seemed easily handled, I guess. Lol I'm bad at this

Um..I was supposed to ask him out.

I'll just leave him for now. I'm not brave enough for this. I can still try to stay in touch with him, I'm not leaving the city anyway.

Anju. At least you'll be closer by if you change your mind about asking him

Louai, maybe it was a drunk spider who lost 3 legs But I didn't have any success refining my search. I'm definitely going to create a bug board. But I need to look them up. I don't want anything starving to death or something. That's just cruel. But you can hardly smoosh them and then pin them because that, well, changes how they look

I gathered the courage and called the guy. He's stationed here for another week, so I have more time to put things together. Hopefully, we can meet up on Wednesday and then I won't have to spend extra gas money getting there. He sounded sincerely interested so that's neat.

I think my throat problems were caused by Cheetos waffle chips. My tongue was a bit sore and felt swollen too. I didn't snack on any of them yesterday and today everything feels a bit better. They're pizza flavored. I've not had problems with that seasoning before... but I had never had the waffle chip before so perhaps something's different.

A rant is that I was squatting and petting one of the teeny kittens, when one of the older kittens decided to jump onto my back- claws out. I screeched and all the kittens went running Now I have tiny punctures that are rather sore lol

A rave is that I slept amazingly well. I had dreams that my bird was killed by my daughters ex, though... and that I had a slew of animals crammed into rabbit hutches... and that one of the rabbits was one I owned some 14 years ago (who was given to a friend and later eaten by a fox ) It was a very strange dream but came about because I was explaining animal hoarding to Miley yesterday and telling her that we didn't qualify- yet.

Zhaylin, if you wanna know what the spider is, post it on reddit.com/r/whatsthisbug

Those people are crazy knowledgeable.

Originally Posted by hathor28

WHY DO PEOPLE KEEP THINKING THAT I AM WITH SOME NEW GUY???!!! My mom even got a feeling that i have one now after a divorce that i go ASAP jump in to someone else because i am wearing better clothing!!?

Fucking people at work man.

All I've heard for the last two weeks is "are you going out with _girl_?".
Before that it was always "are you going out with _Lankan girl_?"
And interspersed "are you going out with _random girl I've barely talked to_?" or "are you going out with _obvious just a friend girl_?"

Seriously get your own fucking life, why do you all care who I'm going out with?

As may be obvious, anger is back again.
I keep thinking I've settled it, today I had another realisation which I thought was kind of the end of it.
But nope....
It is getting lessened, a little bit, but every goddamn time she's at work, I am tested.

Spoiler for LB:

One of the other Lankan girls who was supposed to be my friend pretty much took her side instantly, didn't even mention anything to me and basically reinforced/encouraged her not saying anything to me about how she feels.
I stopped talking to that "friend" too, and she wonders why....
I didn't say anything, coz fuck her.... But then I thought maybe I'm wrong, maybe it's my overactive mind or something, which has happened before, but not often.

So I slowly just started casually talking a bit, smiling and saying hi, but making sure I don't be friends again.
And then today I was just walking toward where they were and she CLEARLY said something to Lankan girl like "tom's coming" or something.
What the fuck!?
Seriously?

And she has the nerve to ask why I don't talk to her and deleted her on fb and shit.

What is wrong with people? Do they simply not think about their behaviour toward others?
Or are they just assholes? Thinking I don't know what they're talking about?

I may not be able to understand your language (which you shouldn't be even talking in at work or where English speakers are in an English country coz it's fucking rude) but I can damn well understand what you're saying.

ksenglksehngliehNgrkejlkdslklkndfnlkdbsknlbdlnkdbk nlfnSRNHRNKDFKNSDFKNSDNKDSSEKSEKESKSKKEWEOJWmDFMKJ KJ

S

Ya, it was an experience.....watching my dad die slowly,..he developed throat and then 1 year later lung cancer even after chemo treatment, and it just doubled because he's a hard smoker and was all along since 12.
He actually speeded the process so he can get over with it, he suffered enough. So 2 years ago he RIP, he was a good person, but never cross him.
Kind of like me.
I also seen my grandfather go through the same before my dad even got cancer. So it's a double dose of experiences.

Cancer and Diabetes were the two things I saw most growing up. I had a friend die of cancer at 19. 19! after a quick diagnosis. Then, in the past year, I had two friends lose their dad's to aggressive brain tumors.

Fuck cancer.

I heard through the "grape vine", that my ex hubby might have a chance in having work here in Canada...good for him when he does...just a slight advisory for you ex if you don't know...it won't be permanent....living and working here only by a permit will mostly not make it permanent for you but will cause problems. I just read that our gov is cutting back on immigrant workers wages...so basically you will be working like the same money as you are in the states as low minimum wage...like 8 an hour. So tell me...is it worth the headache? Maybe, but i'm just telling you so you can prepare for obstacles.
Don't expect to be here and you think "YES! I'm living here forever!!" nope....next thing you know you are going back to where you came from...and you know what?....no one is going to help you here if you slip on money wise...don't come and ask me for money when you need it....i did it already before so don't try with your SLY plans to come here and expect me and my family to help you like before.
Like i said, if you want to be here, live alone, and BE RESPONSIBLE....you better do it yourself as well as i am doing it myself. I can't see you paying your own bills and paying for child support all at once and think you can SURVIVE IN TORONTO. Trust me, it's just as hard to live here as you are where you are.
This place ain't no sit on the park, if you think so. Anyways goodluck, and rant done, just had to get it out because he thinks when something is lined FOR him it will be a breeze after. Smh, honey nothing is a breeze in life, i can see it now, once you start disliking on how things are going you will run yourself back to where you came from, nothing satisfies you, which makes me sick to my stomach, is why i hate you.

Tommo and Hathor.

The only thing I've truly been around is diabetes. It never seemed like much of a big deal because my relatives were always able to keep it under control. It's very heavy in my family, but most of my relatives are obese. I've always been scared of getting it because I live off of carbs and sweets- but, so far, so good (knock on wood).

Reddit intimidates me for some reason. I might break down and try them. But I've looked at- literally- hundreds of pictures of bugs and the most likely match is an ant mimic spider that lost 3 of its legs. It looks JUST like the ant mimic except for that one detail

A rave is that my yawns have been subsiding GREATLY once I cut my Clexa in half.

A rant is that I'm retarded. Seriously. I watch a lot of video's on CNN and one FREQUENTLY played commercial was getting on my nerves. 'Sweets become salleries and a community becomes a kitchen... this is just one way we help create jobs.' Slleries? What the heck is a sallerie?! Is it a type of food? Are you speaking Spanish? I've literally had issue with that commercial for a month at least.
Then it finally hit me. "It's SALARY, stupid!!!" The commercial is talking about jobs and income. Dear God, brain, are you THAT stupid
I guess context is everything. I was focused on the pictures of the cupcakes and was thinking about different types of food. But still... a MONTH?

Wow i dont believe this! My phone finally let me log into dv :

On my way home from the grocery store, a cop pulled me over. He walked up to my car and stared at me for a few moments before saying, "Sorry; I mis-read your inspection sticker. Have a nice day."

First time I've been pulled over while stoned, I think. And yet it's also the first time I've been pulled over yet not given a ticket.

Originally Posted by sefalik

On my way home from the grocery store, a cop pulled me over. He walked up to my car and stared at me for a few moments before saying, "Sorry; I mis-read your inspection sticker. Have a nice day."

First time I've been pulled over while stoned, I think. And yet it's also the first time I've been pulled over yet not given a ticket.

I LOOOOOOOVE THIS! AHAHAHAHAHA! I WOULD HAVE LAUGHED ALL THE WAY HOME

Your lucky day, Sefalik!!

YAY, Anju. Does this mean you wont be away as much as you thought?

My rave is that I thought my e-cigs were dying, but the clearomizers were just stopped up or something. Everything works wonderfully after buying a new clearo.
Another rave is that I'm going to meet up with that guy on Wednesday and he's going to buy 2 lanyards
I also see my p-doc on Tuesday after making myself wait 2 months between visits. I actually lived

A rant is that I'm weird. I don't know if I just wrote about this but...
I figured out another reason I'm so nice to people is that I suppose everyone can read my mind. Maybe not literally, but I always fear something about my expression or body language will reveal any sort of negative inclinations I might have. So I'm always neutral or nice.
Then it hit me last night while watching a show that it goes beyond that... I don't (generally speaking) talk about people negatively either because I fear I'll be overheard. When I was a kid I always feared hidden cameras and bugs in my room. I don't know why. That's such a strange fear. I guess it's sort of followed me into adulthood. It's not a paranoia type fear, but more a "watch yourself, you never know" sort of nagging.

Yeh. But it's a pain though. Lol. It keeps logging me out after a while

Hopefully, you'll get it worked out so that that doesn't happen

A new rave is that I just got back from walking the dog... at 3:30AM It was WONDERFUL. Only 2 cars passed and we walked nearly 2 miles in all. The temperature was perfect. I think this shall become our routine. I'm usually awake in the wee hours anyhow, so it's perfect. Hubby won't like it though :/ There are 2 bars further down our street, but closing time is 3AM and I don't walk that far so it should be okay. The road is dark though, but there's a wide berm. And my headlamp provided sufficient light. It was a totally impromptu walk. I didn't bring my fanny pack, phone, doggy bags and I wore the long skirt I've been lounging in lol. I tied it up around my waist so I wouldn't trip over it

Another rave is that I've not had a single cigarette in over 24 hours...

I've still not had a cigarette

But curse people and there intolerance of e-cigs I have 2 trips coming up next month
From around the 17-21 we're flying out to California to see my step-son and his family. We're going to fly direct for a change, so I'll just pop a Benadyl and go to sleep for the 5 hours or so. E-cigs are NOT allowed to be used on planes. I've not found any good info about use in the airport itself. What about my lanyard? Can I wear it? Do I have to pack it in it's separate components? Now I remember one of the reasons I avoid flying It's such a hassle. Not to mention hubby ridiculously over packs. I no longer even use a suitcase when we travel. I have a very large briefcase that I can fit all of my clothes and most of my odds and ins into. One of my crocheted purses holds the other stuff.

After that, we have another auction from the 23-26. Ugh. I can't believe hubby's seriously wanting to go to it. He already spent all of his retirement on the last auction. He has to work 3 more years to recover from it. He's almost 71 years old, you'd think he'd be wanting to retire some time soon-ish.

Today's rant is that I wasted almost $13. on 2 things of makeup (which I don't like since I tried it) and dinner. I also spent $9. on a dog collar. It's reflective and fits her very well and she needed one, so I'm okay with that purchase

I rave is that I walked through the yard for a good 30 minutes before dark, taking pictures with my iPad. It's just of the grass and weeds that cover the property in places, but I want to be able to identify them. The kittens were digging in dirt and exposed some sort of bulb or tuber which kicked me off. I couldn't identify it, lol, and there was no living grass around it so I thought if I just took a bunch of pics it could help narrow things down... and from there I went around taking pics of all the different grasses, flowers, weeds and other (a couple berry bushes, mushrooms and a crab hole )

Of course, I also had to take some of the kitties... but they were hardly cooperative and I got a bunch of blurs more than anything

My yawns have completely subsided, which is also a MAJOR rave.

Now I'm going to transcribe for an hour, walk the dog, shower then go to bed.

Hope everyone is well.

Hey Zhay - most airports have little rooms where smokers can sit and do their thing. I remember I went in one of those with my sister once so we could talk (I don't smoke) and it was a total gas chamber!! Literally filled with smoke so thick it was hard to see people across the room, and it wasn't very big! I was choking and had to get out quick - even my eyes were watering, and I smelled like smoke for the rest of the day. Some airports might have outside areas for it too. I would guess e-cig users need to follow the same rules.

Originally Posted by Darkmatters

Hey Zhay - most airports have little rooms where smokers can sit and do their thing. I remember I went in one of those with my sister once so we could talk (I don't smoke) and it was a total gas chamber!! Literally filled with smoke so thick it was hard to see people across the room, and it wasn't very big! I was choking and had to get out quick - even my eyes were watering, and I smelled like smoke for the rest of the day. Some airports might have outside areas for it too. I would guess e-cig users need to follow the same rules.

Hahahaha that reminds me of the good old days where people smoked whenever they want and smoke CIGARS in smoking rooms as well for usual social places but they still can smoke anywhere they want and those smoking rooms would cloud like hell! LOL Talk about killing you faster! lol

Where have you been hiding these many years, Dark? (At least that's what it feels like )
In all my travels, I only ran across one smoking room. Where was it... California, no, Nevada. It's exactly as you said too Hubby said he felt like an animal at the zoo. Sheesh... that trip was pre-911.
I spent some 8 years as a non-smoker after that, so maybe I just never noticed them... Most places made you go outside which was a real bear after getting through security.
I'm very stealthy with my e-cig. If you hold your breath a little longer than usual, no vapor appears. If I can carry the unit, I'll be okay. If I have to pack it as a carry-on with the components separate, that will be a problem. I realize not everyone likes the smell (even though mine is a very mild vanilla), so I learned to hold in my breath as consideration. I'd like to be shown some every now and then as well lol

Which brings me to another rant... my kids are going to be upset with me because I spent money I usually spend on their roll-your-own smokes and supplies. Between a few odd bills and change, I'm sure I can get the tobacco. But the filters and papers? They're going to have to suck it up until tomorrow night. What bothers me is, again, my oldest is paid for keeping part of the house clean. Yes, I realize both he and Miley use the tobacco etc, but it's getting very annoying to be expected to provide room and board for adult kids, by and large, do nothing but suck down the bandwidth. Once again, I'm happy to provide all this stuff- until you get mad at me for failing to get your extras. Then I feel resentful as hell.

Another rant is that my pinch blisters are back. Walking home after completing one mile was extremely difficult. I still made the mile in 20 minutes though. I just kept pushing myself. I wore my sandals, so they're just as bad as the tennis shoes. I will not forget to wear my toe sleeves and spacers from now on, that's for sure!!!!

A rave is that, well, I walked 2 miles in 40 minutes this morning The poor dog came home and collapsed lol I stayed awake until 6:30AM I NEED to start carrying water if only for her. I already carry her poop bags and I don't like to have my hands completely full. I think I have a backpack purse I can use for her travel bowl and water. Even at 3:20AM, it was still 75 degrees out and both of us were thirsty by the time we reached the tracks (1 mile).

Now I have to ready to see my p-doc, then pick up the roll your own stuff. Then I have to call the lanyard guy to see if we can meet earlier tomorrow.
Which also means, I need to crochet 2 more lanyards to show the store. I need to make a teensy one for the blu e-cigs and another one like I wear.

I saw the psychologist today...

... and it went surprisingly smoothly. She took my medical history, explained possible treatment plans, and sort of broke down the process for me. I thought I'd be uncomfortable but everything just flowed perfectly. I'm going to be seeing her regularly, once a week, and we're going to put together a treatment plan during the next few visits. Everything from there on out would be maintenance.

I'm actually looking forward to this, I thought it'd be hassle but I can definitely see this helping me out. I don't think I really took my mental health seriously until this visit, she really put things into perspective. Like this one time in high school, I woke up and saw the corpse of a woman walk into my room and sit on my legs. I totally brushed it off the next day, as if the hallucination wasn't a big deal. Whenever these kinds of things would happen, I would always ignore it and carry on as usual. But now I have a professional to turn to whenever I have a concern, and it feels like I've just taken a massive load off my shoulders.
-------
@ Zhaylin: This book might help you out with your kids. I don't read self-help books often, but this one was a great read. You might want to look into if you have the time, you could probably find a .pdf version through Google.

So happy to hear that you hit it off with your p-doc! Just be sure to stick with it... I was such a nightmare for my p-doc initially. I thought I knew best and constantly played around with my meds (and these were serious meds way back then) and I didn't open up for the longest time.

The 2 of you might even butt heads on some things, but as long as she's not a "my way or the highway" kind of person, keep working with her and understand that you don't HAVE to agree with everything she says.
My p-doc and I have a lot of religious discussions lol. He personally thinks my religious needs are silly but he never presses any issues (he thinks religion, in general, is silly except for the social aspects). He never outright says I'm silly. That's just a vibe I get
I think our discussions are 2-fold. We sincerely enjoy talking about the subject even though we come from different sides and a persons mental state can be assessed by delving into their religious ideas (to a point). Am I seeing visions, feel persecuted, have extreme views etc etc.

If your p-doc seems to go off in weird topic directions, be patient. There's probably a good reason for it Unless she has senior moments like my guy.
I saw my p-doc today and toward the end, I told him I was annoyed with my brain (the whole salary thing I complained about here)... he agreed that context is very important and then he went off to tell me about his tour of a salt mine and that the word salary (if he recalled correctly) was derived from the word salt because it was so valuable. Or something like that anyhow...

I'll definitely check out that book. Thanks for the recommendation.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Where have you been hiding these many years, Dark? (At least that's what it feels like )

I've been around, just not on this thread. Lol, and this thread seems to be the only place you post, like ever! Still the queen of R&R,C&C I see!

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

In all my travels, I only ran across one smoking room.

I've only seen the one, but I don't get to airports much, maybe it's a rare thing? I assumed that was how it is at most airports, especially since like you said, it's a bitch going outside after getting through security.

Just one of those days/times when i'm SO glad i kept a Dream journal for 2 years before things starting to happen. Who said our dreams don't show you the future sometimes? Well lately things are feeling kinda odd so i went back to my journal and read the certain 2012 dream i wanted to read...and now it's all becoming clear!
And yes this man i am dreaming of ever since 2012 actually is and was helping me along my hard bad life i had during that time and i'm like omg i should have taken this VERY seriously....but i didn't at that time because at that time i was being held down by my beliefs and about myself from someone else...which i know who it is but i just don't want to say it....it's best to not mention even the word now so i can heal better spiritually.
I am getting SO much better now...reasons why the dreams about this man disappeared and have gotten fewer....but i still get them from time to time.
Now i have come to my senses as to who this man was in my dreams...he actually exists...VERY shocking...i encountered him around my area but no communication started yet...but i have a feeling there will be soon. I'm just letting it flow and see what happens and see if this is what i think....if it is?
Then HELL! this is some serious deep shit. I will update if this actually happens. See what i mean? When i'm not looking, SOMEONE is.
I won't tell who and where this guy is....internet is not trusting for that lol ;P
I'll be damned....if shared dreaming actually happens/happened here...dang....but he is hot lol just like in the dreams....something tells me i should use those dreams i had as guides. I think i should.

i'm not really into soccer but everyone keeps talking about this "world cup" that's going on. so i can't help but to glance at it a few times and its like i get hooked. the game seems intense and now its like i'm curious to know which countries win over which.

So while i was going to shop and cash out my money and stop using my debit card because of fees and i don't trust banks now, i went to a supermarket that has their own bank company and while i was about to pass this small booth next to it, one of the banks sales marketer tried to coax me into opening a new account BECAUUUUUUSE it is so and so cheaper than my current bank company, so i said i am not interested, but she still tried pushing like seems like the banks are about to go nuts now because of inflations and they want MORE customers to fuck with.
She started doing that sales scam on me but she can't do it on me because I used to do selling especially marketing when it came to credit cards, this is a total different thing into opening ANOTHER account that i don't want, i told her that i am using cash now and less debit cards....so how stupid of her to do is tell me that "Please don't use cash now, and try our debit card." because it was cheaper and they want to seem to prove it to me....i'm like na but i know she won't get off my ass so i did something to reassure her and agree for her number and name and tell her i will think about it and call her back...that made her kind of more assured so i can go and shop...but still she was trying to get me to sign up.
WHY would i sign up for another bank?...when i know banks are going to be SO screwed up soon and we will see less banks and obviously this company that is pushing the marketing seems like their company won't last either, only the biggest company will survive not the small ones.
I know the fees are cheap lady...but what am i going to do once your out of business? Trust you with my money? no.
And i know these marketers don't get paid an hour, they are on commission per sales, so ya, i know how that feels...good luck lady into tricking people into opening a 2nd account with a bank. It will be very hard for you.
Oh ya and happy birthday to me!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JuM7...X4LrvKeIm6Vk9w

Bwahaha, Dark. I am, indeed, the queen of RRC&C and none shall take my crown This thread is the best... had an awesome dream?- rave about it. Miss another chance to LD- rant away. And everything in between
In any case, it's very good to see you

Hope you've had an outstanding day, Hathor!

My rant is that I'm depressed. I realize it's silly, so I'm talking myself out of it... I also went ahead and took a second Celexa because it could just be from cutting it in half. I met the guy about the lanyard this evening. He said "$20. for 2, right?" I said 'That'll work, Thank you!' I had even thrown in my old one for free because I have no use for it anymore. It felt amazing getting paid for making something, but then the depression set in because I feel guilty- like I ripped him off. I told him that if they don't work out for any reason, I'll make him new ones for free... I just don't think they're worth that much.

A rave is that I was able to buy more cellphone minutes with what I was paid. Another rave is that he dropped my name and number to someone selling e-cig stuff at the mall. I'm going to make a million of these things until I think they're worth what he paid. Maybe I'll sell them on eBay or something if I get good enough.

Another rant is my stupid tonsil stones. It seems the "ear" inside my throat is getting deeper. It's harder to get them out now-a-days. Gross, yeah

Donating blood was a bust today. Miley went in but they said they'll have to call her back because she's trans-sexual and the person working didn't know if they could take her blood. My eldest went in to see if they had an opening. They did and they got through the physical until they took his blood pressure. It was 190/115 the second time they took it (it went DOWN a little that second time). They said it was too high, so they wouldn't let him donate. Then I went in.
Donating blood/plasma is against my religious beliefs... but seeing how I'm on a hiatus of sorts, I went in. They didn't have any other openings, which was a blessing because my conscience REALLY starting bothering me. Especially seeing how my email is "awitness4jehovah" Way to go, stupid idiot.

Then I learned from my eldest that once you donate, you're placed in a registry. They take your picture and a finger print. That solidified my stance to not donate. I've never had my prints taken. It's now a matter of pride lol. I wonder if I'll be able to live my whole life without giving them It's silly and doesn't really matter in the long run, but I'm stubborn about it anyhow. It further depresses me that THAT'S a bigger reason not to donate than my religious beliefs. That shows my priorities


**EDIT**
Bah! I tried to get some transcribing done but I couldn't concentrate. I felt a little nauseous and just wanted to go to bed. No! I got my 8 hours in, I didn't need any more sleep, so I took the dog for a walk an hour earlier than usual. We walked to the tracks and I thought we were making superb time. Nope. Still took 40 minutes to walk 2 miles.
It was a nice walk though. I love the night smells: honey suckle, some other flower I can't identify, the perfect amount of clorine in someone's pool... and then there's the sounds: traffic, of course, from the interstate across from where I walk; frogs, birds, insects. This morning I was awe-struck by an insect flying just ahead of me. It seemed to be glowing but it wasn't a lightning bug.
To make the walk complete, hubby heard the alarm go off so he met me at his garage and gave me a kiss (He has another surgery day today, so he's already up getting ready for work).

He surprised me, when I first began, by not nagging me for my walks. He just tells me to be careful and to carry my phone.

I still can't shake this pessimistic depressive feeling though...