Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by SpaceCowboyDave

Spent near $60 on lucid supplements that haven't done anything the first two times I've taken them.

Give it some time. What did you buy?

Originally Posted by SpaceCowboyDave

Spent near $60 on lucid supplements that haven't done anything the first two times I've taken them.

Yeah, Alyzarin is right, the first few times aren't going to feel like there's any change, and I had that personal experience when taking Melatonin based on how it can presumably give more vivid and intense lucid dreams and non-lucid dreams. The aids themselves help you release some pressure on things like concentrating, recalling, and all sorts of things, but you still have to remind yourself of what you normally do to recall and/or attempt lucid dreaming. For me, when I used to take a few grams of Melatonin, I didn't really feel the effects until it late in the night (I used to take them during afternoon naps and then started taking them at night instead).

With any drug or supplement aimed to have some effect, it will take some time before it initiates, and there was a guide made by a user here on Dream Views that actually broke down supplement by supplement on when it should start taking effect. Unfortunately, that same person most likely demanded that guide to not be shown, but the point where I'm getting as is, whatever supplement you're using, try to research a bit on how long the effect usually takes so that you'll have a good idea of when to take it.

And I think the best person right now to help you with that is Alyzarin, maybe you should give her a PM on the types of supplements you're using. Trust me, I feel it's right to ask her on what she knows, and for you to be left with better assurance that it's "how" and "when" you use the supplements is the only challenge you'll have to deal with.

Other than that, just know that how you go about recalling dreams is just fine, so it doesn't feel reasonable that the supplements not working yet should degrade your confidence in them being guides into your dreaming endeavors.

I wish there were 3 more extra hours in a day, especially on my days off in the summer. there are just a lot more things i want to do on my days off when the weather is nice.

And while I knew going into it it was finite, I'm still left unhappy and empty as if I didn't see it coming. Ah well. At least I am used to this.

IMO nootropics (I'm hesitant about Galantamine though because some studies have shown it decreases lifespan in rats) are the only worthwhile LD supplements at the moment, they work straight away too. Unless you're low in some b vitamins then supplements can help, but if you eat well, you shouldn't be deficient in vitamins.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

The following rant is about only a theory... not set in stone.

I spent a lot of today researching KCC2, a transporter in the brain. This subject has pretty much been blowing my mind. I've known for a long time now that GABA, the major inhibitory neurotransmitter, is said to have excitatory actions instead in young brains, but I never really knew why until now. It's because GABA(A) receptors actually are excitatory receptors, but they're constantly modulated throughout the brain by KCC2 which causes their effect to become inhibitory instead. A slow rise in KCC2 is what causes the change to happen with age, and evidence that this is all the case can be seen in rare circumstances like where GABA is localized in vasopressin neurons; it's one of the only places without KCC2 also being present, and GABA has an excitatory action there. Disruptions in this setup have been implicated in neurological disorders particularly those related to injury or disease, but there's also some evidence that KCC2 is not functioning at full capacity in schizophrenia. That's what really brings me here.

Has that been studied at all? Your whole theory rests on this as far as I can tell. Are you just assuming that because vasporession neurons don't have KCC2 present that it must be what makes GABA excitatory? Are there any other molecules which are also not present?
The rest of your post does lend weight to the argument, I'm just wondering if you're not going too far in to hypothesis-land and mistaking it for theory.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I admit, I'm always on the look for new explanations of how this system in the prefrontal cortex works, but I do think this is a pretty neat idea. Studies seem to show that 5-HT2A receptors are not directly involved in the development of schizophrenia, but that 5-HT2A inverse agonists can act as antipsychotics to help with the symptoms. They have been found to do this through the recepter heterodimer in the prefrontal cortex that inversely links 5-HT2A and metabotropic glutamate receptor 2 (mGluR2), and mGluR2 agonists have correspondingly been shown to be active as antipsychotics as well. So my first thought is of course that anything that lowered 5-HT2A activity would induce the activity of KCC2 if it worked that way, and if it was linked up in the prefrontal cortex as well then activation of mGluR2 could logically have the same effect. This interests me because of how I believe I can tie it in to the way oxytocin works in the prefrontal cortex. It induces the release of endocannabinoids which activate presynaptic CB1 receptors to inhibit local glutamate release, which leads to lowered activation of mGluR2. I've mentioned this before recently, it's how I believe cannabinoids and sexual practices like kundalini get there overlap with psychedelics. This lowered glutamate is known to cause anti-anxiety effects in healthy amounts, and this is likely at least in part because of its mGluR2 inhibition because 5-HT2A agonists can do the same. Psychedelics usually cause mainly euphoria in low to moderate doses, but the chances of things get much stranger increase dramatically the higher you dose.

Do you know if CBD inhibit glutamate more than THC, or if THC doesn't at all, or maybe even has the opposite effect? That would be very interesting if so.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

The way I see it, in this theory that could be related to how little inhibitory activity of GABA people are comfortable with. It's the same kind of thing that makes some people freak out on weed while others don't; some people find that lower GABA can be rewarding by means of enhancing dopamine activity and the like while others just get anxious from it. So when you lower KCC2 activity, it's the same as blocking the regular inhibitory activity. The intense and cosmic alterations in perception that can come with psychedelics and sexual euphoria could then in this way come about from disinhibition of systems like dopamine, allowing there receptors to be more active than normal. And quite intriguingly to me, there have been some mGluR2 antagonists which were said to effect the activity of dopamine receptors in a manner resembling this.

So all cannabinoids lower GABA? How does that work? Sorry I removed a bit of the post while wuoting and I'm having trouble following the logic, but it sounds very interesting.
I was thinking the lowered glutamate release stopped it's inhibition of GABA, I think you mentioned that in another post a while back. Maybe I'm remembering wrong.

I'm also wondering how much I fucked up my brain by taking anti-depressants and xanax lol

Originally Posted by Dianeva

I've just realized that the following happens to me a lot. I'm confronted with something, whether a particular image, song, object, smell, video, place, person, thought or some other type of situation. I know that this thing is supposed to make me feel a certain way, because I always have in the past or I have some investment in having that reaction. But often, I realize I can't feel what I expect to feel, and then feel a sense of loss while I try to feel it and don't succeed. I don't usually consciously notice any of this. I'm so dedicated to the reaction I'm supposed to have, I sometimes trick myself into thinking I'm having that reaction, by simply forming the appropriate thoughts without any feeling to back them up, because the fact that I'm not really feeling anything doesn't fit with my view of myself.

For example, a few years ago while in a bad depression I used to look at the stars a lot and felt this sense of profoundness. I'd take in the beauty and try to comprehend how far away the stars were and how small it made me feel, how insignificant everything that happened really was. I told myself then that I'd feel that again whenever I look at the stars, even after my depression was gone. But now, whenever I look at the stars, I don't feel a thing. Yet I almost always convince myself that I do. I purposely slow down my thoughts, mimicking being lost in awe. But I'm really not. The stars just look like a bunch of uninteresting dots in the sky.

This example took a long time, but there are many others. I expect an unexpected specific memory of being with my ex to bring me pain so I think I'm feeling that pain, since that used to be what my reaction was, but if I were to really concentrate I'd realize it barely made me feel anything anymore. A song might once have made me feel a certain way which I want so badly to feel again in the moment, so I listen to it, but I don't feel anything no matter how hard I try. A lot of the time, I want to feel something because if I don't I feel heartless, like there must be something wrong with me. For example, what made me think of this topic originally was GrannyPigms' post above mine, which expresses discontent with the fact that anyone might not share his appreciation of space. It happens a lot with things like that, that I know are supposed to be beautiful, like if I look at a sunset, I expect to find it beautiful, but to be honest, I often don't. Or the opposite, when I hear about intense suffering, I expect myself to be devastated, and if I were to admit that I'm not I'd feel cold hearted.

And what might be the worst part is, even when I do feel something genuinely, I'm so happy about the fact that I'm feeling something so strongly, that I begin to exaggerate it until it isn't even sincere anymore. It's like I start observing myself feeling whatever I am from the outside, imagining whatever is going on like it's a story and I'm just a character I'm reading about. And of course at that point, I'm not even feeling what I was, but I still imagine that I am. Can anyone relate to this?

I can definitely relate. Like Aly, I don't think it's age at all.
I know that thinking too much seems to do this. Which is kind of obvious, but only if you've tried meditation and other practices which help you to stop thinking constantly, stop the internal chatter. Otherwise it just seems normal and you don't even consider that it could be taking away from external experiences.
Space is one of the most awe-inducing things for me, but even sometimes I go out there to try and relax and I'm really just like "....meh.... dots"
Then other times I've had extremely profound experiences where I realise I am literally sitting in the universe on a giant rock, and that I usually don't think I am is just an illusion caused by the atmosphere and Sun, making me feel separate.
See even just then I felt a little bit of the awe again, until I started thinking through it too much trying to explain it.

I would suggest meditating and just getting used to letting thoughts come and go, not paying attention to them but instead paying attention to something external.
Over time you will start to notice much more feelings because you're focusing on the environment rather than your own thoughts.

With the other disaster stuff, that's simply distance. If you saw someone die in front of you, I would say you would probably be mortified.
But even if you weren't and you still kept thinking, maybe trying to figure out what you can do, that's not wrong, in fact it's better in situations like that.
What I'm saying is either way is neither right or wrong. And it's a different matter than the other thing.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

So when they want to have fun and have a good time, the child is nothing but a distraction to them, but if the child comes in when they're drunk with less inhibitions, they'll accept him when they hear him hum tunes. It's almost disheartening and depressing that a mentally-handicapped child humming to the tune of a song, and their less inhibited state of being, they are somehow to alleviate themselves of their contradicting logic towards him. It's so amazing how a liquid can do that to you, to temporarily make yourself think things are better only to go back to treating the child like shit when you're sober.

It's like to them, they're so horrible even in laughter and joy around this kid.

Sometimes I wonder:

If the drinking makes you so happy with your child, then why the fuck are you so sad, angry, threatening, after it? Especially when someone like that kid who can barely even conceive simple speech is going to live a life of being in a trapped shell of incompetence. It reminds me a lot of this song,

I love that song.
Also I think this related to what Dianeva was talking about. When you drink, it makes emotions much more intense because you aren't inhibiting them.
You should realise that although it may seem that it's "just the alcohol" doing it, it could just as easily make a less kind person get angry.
They are probably angry when sober because they realise all that you just said, that their kid's life isn't going to be good and that it is going to be a struggle for all of them, for the rest of their lives. This can weigh on a person.
But when they're drunk, they can just roll with the happiness from the simple little accomplishments.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

And staying with him results in far too much emotional distress and mental trauma.

If you don't have any children, get the marriage annulled by claiming you two haven't consummated the marriage yet. If you have children, then see a marriage counselor and figure things out - either patch things up if possible, or ask them how to go about the separation process.

Or continue as is and grow more miserable as the days pass. In which case, good luck.

Even with children, a divorce is the best way to go, if things are this bad. No point even trying to fix things if you're clearly just incompatible, in the hope it will be better for the kids.
Growing up in a household that isn't cohesive at all is quite damaging.

Originally Posted by Athylus

I'm glad you're drunk, but I'm not too sure about that over-sharing.

Well, if I was over-sharing, I'd be giving you extensive detail on why I'm all weepy. :p

Originally Posted by tommo

Has that been studied at all? Your whole theory rests on this as far as I can tell. Are you just assuming that because vasporession neurons don't have KCC2 present that it must be what makes GABA excitatory? Are there any other molecules which are also not present?
The rest of your post does lend weight to the argument, I'm just wondering if you're not going too far in to hypothesis-land and mistaking it for theory.

It's not an assumption, it seems to be pretty firmly established. I'm not incredibly educated on it yet but it seems that the flexible action of GABA(A) receptors, as either inhibitory or excitatory, depends on the local concentration of chloride ions. KCC2 and another transporter, NKCC1, work to inversely regulate these levels in a way relevant to GABA actions. As KCC2 has been found to be low in development and high in maturity, NKCC1 has been found to start high and decrease with age. And I'm not sure specifically about the vasopressin neurons, but they did directly check it for that purpose, and excitatory GABA in the right conditions is a pretty well-known thing.

Originally Posted by tommo

Do you know if CBD inhibit glutamate more than THC, or if THC doesn't at all, or maybe even has the opposite effect? That would be very interesting if so.

I'm not really sure what effect CBD has on glutamate.... The only things that comes to mind is something I read about how it could stimulate TRPV1 at high doses, which has been known to cause glutamate release. I would wager though that these effects aren't incredibly significant as they relate to perception though, as altered glutamate levels tend to create some pretty significant psychological changes and CBD is, at least compared to most things, largely non-psychoactive. One thing I would be pretty confident in saying though is that if it does lower glutamate levels it probably doesn't do it nearly as much as THC.

Originally Posted by tommo

So all cannabinoids lower GABA? How does that work? Sorry I removed a bit of the post while wuoting and I'm having trouble following the logic, but it sounds very interesting.
I was thinking the lowered glutamate release stopped it's inhibition of GABA, I think you mentioned that in another post a while back. Maybe I'm remembering wrong.

Yup. CB1 receptors act presynaptically to inhibit GABA release. They do the same with glutamate, and sometimes other things as well. But these two are largely the main focus of CB1 receptor activation. Lowered GABA levels are responsible for most of the paranoia, panic attacks, racing thoughts, stimulation, and, in overdose, convulsive activity that cannabinoids cause. I also personally believe that they facilitate some of their psychedelic effects. Lowered glutamate on the other hand fills in some of the other psychedelic effects, and the dissociative ones, and seems to be an important player in the way that cannabinoids reduce anxiety in low to moderate doses.

In some areas of the brain this activity seems to be so important that it can make up for lowered efficacy in activating the receptors. THC was found to act as a CB1 full agonist specifically on GABA neurons in the hippocampus simply because there are so many CB1 receptors densely populated there, while it retains its partial agonist effect on glutamate release there. That's something that still fascinates me about it too, I get easily carried away thinking of all the possible implications of it.

Also, I'm not sure about the whole thing about glutamate release and inhibiting GABA, but if you could be more specific or find that post again then maybe I could give a better answer. It's important to note that there are also multiple ways that GABA and glutamate regulate each other on their own, but CB1 would directly bypass this by simply inhibiting the release of both. The brain likes to be tricky like that. Another good example would be how hippocampal glutamate and acetylcholine both stimulate the synthesis of endocannabinoids and downstream activation of CB1 receptors alongside their other effects, despite the fact that if you stimulate those receptors directly the levels of glutamate and acetylcholine will drop. It pretty much all comes down to the ratios of activity and where in the line you decide to start.

Originally Posted by tommo

I'm also wondering how much I fucked up my brain by taking anti-depressants and xanax lol

Probably not beyond repair, but I wouldn't push your luck.

You people and yoru drug talk. Lol. You're too smart about that stuff =(. Make sme feel let out
Oh and I ihad a dream involving Alyzarin last night, I don' rmemeber it anymore except some

I'm drunk as fuck god damnit stop judging me!

When your own family members have their own doubts, they tell you to do this and don't do this, and yet behind your back they're contradicting what they forced down your throat. Lack of communication, lack of understanding or any basic collaboration of reasoning.

Not only that, when they're clearly in the wrong, but you can't really give your own opinion, it's like watching them all get paranoid just begging for your own opinion, but you just can't because they made it clear your opinion doesn't really matter to them.

They say that family are a group of individuals you can truly trust among all other people, they're like some fail safe where when you think they're not useful, when you're in shambles, suddenly because them being there for you makes everything better. And being able to see how people are so linear in that said family, and even when you gave a person a glimpse of your own opinion, they always say that what I described to them as not being healthy, or that I have to forgive them.

It's almost as if they never want to think this through and realize the family itself could be much better if one or the other didn't think they're out to control each other. Seeing how they justify that "you just have to learn how to tolerate his behavior" and all that seems like a cop-out from truly understanding what everyone stands for in their life. The same family that's supposed to be some safety net for you, bit by bit, that same net is just getting cut, and the only thing you can really rely on is the totality of your mind.

If family members expect something out of you, and they don't communicate when there's some change in their plans, and leave you wondering what the hell they're up to or what their intentions are, how can one even compromise with something like that?

It's the most horrible feeling to see that your place of origin in this world, your own family, aren't as reliable as they seem.

I love how my laptop tells me that I have 7% battery left and then gives me 30 seconds to run and find the charger before it shuts down. Shut down at 1% or something. Damn.

[RAVE=blackhawkswinthestanleycup]
BLACKHAWKS WIN THE STANLEY CUP FUCK YEAH
[/RAVE]

Commence irresponsible drinking and unnecessary yelling.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

You people and yoru drug talk. Lol. You're too smart about that stuff =(. Make sme feel let out
Oh and I ihad a dream involving Alyzarin last night, I don' rmemeber it anymore except some

I'm drunk as fuck god damnit stop judging me!

"Obsessed" may be a better word for it, haha. Well if you actually are interested in learning about drugs, I'm sure we can get you started on the right path. But I get it if you're just in a conversational mood too lol. For what it's worth, all this drug knowledge does very little to actually help me in life.

"Except some", eh? Something you're not telling me?

I hate it when people say something offensive to me and everyone but me freaks the fuck out about it, IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME SO WHY IS IT BOTHERING YOU?

HAPPY 30TH BDAY TO ME!....MEH. Michael Jackson - Thriller - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' - YouTube

Happy birthday, Hathor. :0
-----
Smoked for the first time in months, and I think I spoke to my soul. I know that sounds corny as hell but idk, I think it happened. .-.

Originally Posted by GavinGill

Smoked for the first time in months, and I think I spoke to my soul. I know that sounds corny as hell but idk, I think it happened. .-.

My friend claims to have done something like this while meditating when he first started smoking. He said he got some advice from himself, so he thanked himself for it lol.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

My friend claims to have done something like this while meditating when he first started smoking. He said he got some advice from himself, so he thanked himself for it lol.

Yeah it was like that.

"We" had a conversation about several things, the main topic of interest was reincarnation. We came to the conclusion that a soul is a collection of personalities past. Like one person dies and his collective memories and experiences are absorbed into the soul (which normally hangs back and observes/learns from the physical self) and then it goes off to where ever. And then it's reincarnated into a new psychical vessel that sort of goes through life with it's own identity that's separate from the soul's, while the soul hangs back and observes.

Say Bob is born and grows up to be a painter. If his soul had absorbed the personalities of other painters in the past, those personalities would be at the forefront of the soul's collective personality and it'd put those past experiences/memories to use by helping out the current physical vessel (Bob). Then Bob dies and his personality/identity becomes one with the soul and then it's off to the next one.

I asked him for a favor when it came time for us to be reincarnated and he said he'd think about it.

Idk, it sounds ridiculous now but it made so much sense at the time. I forgot most of it but I can still sort of make sense of what I meant to say, but it'd be better if there were pictures to go along. Or maybe I smoked myself retarded. Idk, I'm gonna go to bed. >_> <_<

I think angel would be more accurate than soul. Like a guide, or a bridge between us and "soul"

I wish I could get that sort of effect from weed. Nowadays it just makes me scared and awkward. Weed used to be my best friend...

Uhmmm yeah spent all day drinking. Getting drunk enough to forget about the fact that I'm in love is like a full time job for me now. I need to make more lady friends so I don't get obsessed with every pretty girl I get close with. It's just so hard to find the ones who aren't freaked out by me AND who are also not too crazy/self-desctructive themselves. Like everyone who I'm able to interact with effectively is kind of crazy, but I have my limits.

In a pathetic attempt to be more like my dream counterpart, Saja, I dyed my hair black. Just from the poor quality picture I posted, it may not look like much of a difference, but my hair is usually (an obvious) medium brown with red tones in certain lights.
I'm posting to complain about two things:
1: I'm pathetic.
2: My boyfriend didn't notice or care that my hair had drastically changed color. I guess that's because he rarely looks at me.
Is that three things?
Let's make it four, eh?
You can safely assume that if my boyfriend doesn't look at me, then we don't kiss very often. I shouldn't be surprised, I can't even get DCs to kiss me. Unless you count creepy green/yellow guy (I don't).

Originally Posted by GavinGill

"We" had a conversation about several things, the main topic of interest was reincarnation. We came to the conclusion that a soul is a collection of personalities past. Like one person dies and his collective memories and experiences are absorbed into the soul (which normally hangs back and observes/learns from the physical self) and then it goes off to where ever. And then it's reincarnated into a new psychical vessel that sort of goes through life with it's own identity that's separate from the soul's, while the soul hangs back and observes.

Say Bob is born and grows up to be a painter. If his soul had absorbed the personalities of other painters in the past, those personalities would be at the forefront of the soul's collective personality and it'd put those past experiences/memories to use by helping out the current physical vessel (Bob). Then Bob dies and his personality/identity becomes one with the soul and then it's off to the next one.

That almost kind of makes sense, in some sort of weird spiritual hippie way...

Originally Posted by hathor28

HAPPY 30TH BDAY TO ME!....MEH. Michael Jackson - Thriller - Wanna Be Startin' Somethin' - YouTube

I'm older by 2 days

Originally Posted by Amurehna

In a pathetic attempt to be more like my dream counterpart, Saja, I dyed my hair black. Just from the poor quality picture I posted, it may not look like much of a difference, but my hair is usually (an obvious) medium brown with red tones in certain lights.
I'm posting to complain about two things:
1: I'm pathetic.
2: My boyfriend didn't notice or care that my hair had drastically changed color. I guess that's because he rarely looks at me.
Is that three things?
Let's make it four, eh?
You can safely assume that if my boyfriend doesn't look at me, then we don't kiss very often. I shouldn't be surprised, I can't even get DCs to kiss me. Unless you count creepy green/yellow guy (I don't).

I hear ya on that about your boyfriend. But lucky me i got someone in my dreams that can't let me go even if i try to ignore, he will do some mind games or tease me, like having the dream not last as it used to, only to get to me. I sense this isn't just a DC i am dealing with in my dreams, he knows what i am doing and is willing to respond in many ways to get my attention....now i am actually regretting to even try to ignore him in dreams because now i'm reaping what i sow for weeks....like 2 weeks already not having action!! Usually i do get it all the way often but...urgh. -_-

Does anyone know where Zhaylin is?