Dreamviews Anonymous Confessions & Opinions Thread

[Arra]

I always thought that communicating with your partner on what generally turns them on/off when you do this or that before it's actually donewould make things easier. I guess when asked during the activity, it obviously is a turn off since they have to temporarily shut off their libido just to explain things. Is it just me, or does anyone think this basic communication can make all the difference? Yeah, talking about it isn't just important it's pretty much essential, unless both people get lucky and happen to guess exactly what their partner wants. Maybe if I were fucking Darren Brown I wouldn't need to tell him what I liked, but most of us aren't mind-readers. If it's any sort of BDSM-like sex (couldn't tell if this is what the person meant by 'taking' or they just wanted some rough sex), it's especially wrong not to talk about it beforehand. At the least, you need a safe word. Yeah, it's sexier to imagine that you really are under the person's control, but whatever pleasure is lost is worth it. Without a safe word it may be impossible to distinguish between when the person is acting like they don't want something and really don't, and you can't just assume that your partner will know all of your boundaries, even if you have talked about it. But I do understand that it might be annoying and ruin the mood to talk about it during. So just talk about that to the guy, but be mature about it; make sure he realizes the problem but don't bring it up like you're angry or think he's an idiot or something, because then he's just going to feel bad and be even less confident later. I've been rambling, but basically, I agree, just about every problem in a relationship can be solved with proper communication... unless you realize you just don't like who the person is.

[Alyzarin]

I always thought that communicating with your partner on what generally turns them on/off when you do this or that before it's actually donewould make things easier. I guess when asked during the activity, it obviously is a turn off since they have to temporarily shut off their libido just to explain things. Is it just me, or does anyone think this basic communication can make all the difference? In this context, I don't agree. I may be wrong, but I believe that was the point of the part that says "you do whatever you want and I'll enjoy it". I get this because sometimes I feel that way, and at those times it really doesn't matter what they want to do, the fact that they can do whatever they want is the turn on itself. There are plenty of guys who are for this logic too, there are subsections of the fetish scene devoted to it. In a situation like this I think what it really just comes down to is how much you really want to have that fantasy fulfilled vs how much you love your partner for who they are whether or not they can fulfill it. If I was in a loving relationship with someone and really wanted to stay with them then I could deal with it, but if I was just trying to live this out then I would much rather just wait until I found the right guy for it than dampen it. That's not to say that I don't think communication is great in a relationship or even just sex, but for this specific fantasy I would feel much better without it. It's kind of like the whole point of it is that there's no communication, so you're not really doing it if there is. It's not just watering it down, it's totally negating it. Yeah, talking about it isn't just important it's pretty much essential, unless both people get lucky and happen to guess exactly what their partner wants. Maybe if I were fucking Darren Brown I wouldn't need to tell him what I liked, but most of us aren't mind-readers. If it's any sort of BDSM-like sex (couldn't tell if this is what the person meant by 'taking' or they just wanted some rough sex), it's especially wrong not to talk about it beforehand. At the least, you need a safe word. Yeah, it's sexier to imagine that you really are under the person's control, but whatever pleasure is lost is worth it. Without a safe word it may be impossible to distinguish between when the person is acting like they don't want something and really don't, and you can't just assume that your partner will know all of your boundaries, even if you have talked about it. But I do understand that it might be annoying and ruin the mood to talk about it during. So just talk about that to the guy, but be mature about it; make sure he realizes the problem but don't bring it up like you're angry or think he's an idiot or something, because then he's just going to feel bad and be even less confident later. I've been rambling, but basically, I agree, just about every problem in a relationship can be solved with proper communication... unless you realize you just don't like who the person is. Where did you pick up the thing about a safe word? That was never specified one way or the other in the confession, just because you don't give someone specific instructions doesn't mean you can't have a safe word.

[Linkzelda]

In this context, I don't agree. I may be wrong, but I believe that was the point of the part that says "you do whatever you want and I'll enjoy it". I get this because sometimes I feel that way, and at those times it really doesn't matter what they want to do, the fact that they can do whatever they want is the turn on itself. There are plenty of guys who are for this logic too, there are subsections of the fetish scene devoted to it. In a situation like this I think what it really just comes down to is how much you really want to have that fantasy fulfilled vs how much you love your partner for who they are whether or not they can fulfill it. If I was in a loving relationship with someone and really wanted to stay with them then I could deal with it, but if I was just trying to live this out then I would much rather just wait until I found the right guy for it than dampen it. That's not to say that I don't think communication is great in a relationship or even just sex, but for this specific fantasy I would feel much better without it. It's kind of like the whole point of it is that there's no communication, so you're not really doing it if there is. It's not just watering it down, it's totally negating it. No like, I understand that you probably prefer the guy doing whatever he wants to you, but I thought that if the person doesn't have any knowledge of that person beforehand (if they were to do casual safe sex with multiple people for instance), they would ask questions beforehand. Sure, any guy would love to be able to do whatever they want to a woman, but I still feel communication is key. And most of the communication is just to see what gradually leads the woman to let the guy do whatever he wants. I don't know about you, but I always imagined that if a guy can gradually ease into a woman's libido that's like a long and stretched out melody of minor orgasmsm etc. compared to men's explosive, one-shot libido, that the guy would know what the person likes (especially getting the female to really get into thinking about how wonderful the penetration would feel). If women generally take a longer time to reach orgasm than males (assuming the female didn't actually aim to orgasm faster), that the male would do minor things that gradually leads the woman to anticipating, getting turned on from the anticipation, and thus getting them to a higher libido faster, so that the male can compensate for his one-shot libido (usually), and it ends up being a win/win for both. It seems reasonable, especially if the female isn't in the mood, if the guy knows what gets her in the mood gradually (stroking her hair, rubbing her cheeks, going into safe zones etc.) and then when she confirms it with the sighs, moans, etc. then he would know what to do next and move on to more intense levels, and eventually, the woman would be responsive to basically anything because she's saturated with all sorts of combination of romantic, sexual, and other emotionally bonding thoughts. Maybe you as a female would like the guy to do whatever, but that preference (presumably) is for women that usually think about other things (like magnifying or over-exaggerating the image of the male/female making love to them) and they see the person they're making love with now as a way to think about melodic rhythms that helps them increase their libido. Or it could be for females that literally see the one giving it to them for their own preference of having themselves filled, and knowing that they're being loved (even if the person doing them is at it for just sexual satisfaction), the female receiving it can go into her own fantasy of her being submissive, or seeing the situation as her giving permission for the male/female to do that to her (something I presume doms would think about). Where did you pick up the thing about a safe word? That was never specified one way or the other in the confession, just because you don't give someone specific instructions doesn't mean you can't have a safe word. See that's the thing, if you just want a guy to "take" you (whether it's related to BDSM or whatever), it's presumed that there was communication beforehand about a safe word. However, you can't assume that the person confessing themselves did that to their partner, and based on their attitude towards that person constantly asking them what to do, I doubt they really put much thought into safe words. Of course, they may have, but we both can't presume that, so it's really just the confession being a bit vague. Maybe she did talk about a safe word (to the partner, not in the confession), maybe she didn't, maybe she's the type of girl that doesn't care and wants a mystery and is a completely submissive masochist. How would we be able to know that? But again, I guess it comes down to how you look at things, so your guess is as good as mine.

[Arra]

Where did you pick up the thing about a safe word? That was never specified one way or the other in the confession, just because you don't give someone specific instructions doesn't mean you can't have a safe word. By that part of my reply I was no longer really replying to the person, just rambling about branching thoughts. You're right, I have no idea if the confessor and her (or is) partner had a safe-word. In this context, I don't agree. I may be wrong, but I believe that was the point of the part that says "you do whatever you want and I'll enjoy it". I get this because sometimes I feel that way, and at those times it really doesn't matter what they want to do, the fact that they can do whatever they want is the turn on itself. I don't know whether you're saying you wouldn't like communication before or during. Of course it would ruin it to communicate during. I took what link said to mean that the confessor should communicate before with her partner, to tell him that she doesn't want to communicate during.

[tommo]

All three of you are right, you just took the confession in different ways, I was thinking along the lines of Link and Dianeva too. You can't just expect the person to know what you want, you have to talk about it, otherwise it leads to unsureness, lack of confidence and it really sucks when someone tells you afterward that "I hate when it's really fast, just ruins the whole thing". Well thanks for telling me when I can't do anything about it! ahem.... But if it's some sort of game or role playing or fetish thing and you say "Do whatever you want to me" then obviously if the person keeps asking if it's okay, that's just dumb and maybe you need to be like "SERIOUSLYJUSTDOANYTHING!"

[Linkzelda]

Yeah, and even when you do play the game and add mystery, I would presume if you did one action for too long, it would just end up boring for them, and then they would ask something like, "Can you Scrape the sides of my chest with your nails like you did last time?" or something. That's why if you know the lower, medium, and higher signs of arousal for the female, whether or not she's passive in love making or knows what's going on, if you can do all the things she likes slowly, it may be boring at times if both knows what's going on, but at least it's decent foreplay to do other random things. Of course, there's no way in hell I'm experienced with these kinds of things, this is just all speculation for me, but I guess getting oral sex has the same mechanic as penetrative sex (other than the action) Anyway, before someone thinks the thread is infected with BDSM, sadomasochistic, and confusing syntax.... ☾❄ 5/16/2013 1:47 AM Hmmm, it looks like a Banana and a Ghost from Super Mario 64. Or it could be a Moon Crescent and that's a Jack-o-Lantern. Or it could be a Moon and a Dice with random sticks on three of its six sides. Or a Croissant a happy skeleton face. There's only a few people I would presume would do this: - Paigeyemps - IsabellaSage - Saltyseedog - Paigeyempts - IsabellaSage (Mark75) - IsabellaSage (Mark75) - IsabellaSage (Mark75) - IsabellaSage The results are inconclusive, needs more analysis. I used to be a moderator on Dreamviews and I've had sex with 3 other members on this DV who also used to be staff members. One of them was a guy (which we swore to never bring up). 5/16/2013 4:06 AM We've heard that like two times from you already. And there's already a staffs lists, and I would presume you'd have to be a male (homophobic moment with that guy you were with). And it's a matter of checking those old rules threads of those members with a Teal colored username to guess which one it is. Either the person doing the confession was really an ex-mod, or someone is just playing around. Candidates for this: -Jeff777 -Jeff777 joking around -Jeff777 being serious -Jeff777 joking around -Jeff777 being serious I think about making confessions sometimes, but then I remember [that I'm not Catholic.] that at least one of a couple people on dv either already know my confession, or they could just tell it was me since they know too much of my background. The only reason that I don't want them to know it's me isn't because I care about them knowing. It's just that I don't want them to think I'm the kind of lame person who needs to write anonymously in this thread for attention. I get this way with normal dv posts too. The same people I mentioned before, I wouldn't mind if they left this forum entirely in some ways. - There's something I've never told anyone. I like them, but I get so self-conscious every time I post since I imagine the person reading it, and how they'll react. Forum anonymity is a good thing and gives me the confidence to say things I wouldn't to someone I knew personally, but that sense of security is gone when you start talking to people outside of the forum and stuff, and then you eventually start thinking of the person more like a real person, and they aren't anonymous anymore. I literally can't make a post without thinking this person might be reading it and getting self-conscious. I know this person doesn't know this and would think I was batshit insane if they knew this was about them, since I'm not even friends with them anymore, although this person may not read this thread anyway. I just remembered I was talking about two people and now I'm only thinking about one of them - lol. Or were there two people? Maybe they are three? Mayhaps it's all of you! Am I really insane or am I just pretending to be? Was this whole post a lie? (it was not!). More importantly, I'm entirely sober. 5/17/2013 5:09 AM I'm glad this thread somewhat boosted your confidence because of the anonymity.

[tommo]

People are bad at trying to write in different styles to cover their identity lol

[Linkzelda]

I really hate the flavoring packets that instant ramen comes with, but everybody I've asked says that they think they're delicious. What is it about extremely high levels of sodium and preservatives that appeals to people? 5/18/2013 10:18 AM Splicd 00:07 to 00:20 · Cowboy Bebop Tiger striped cat story - English version

[Arra]

I hate those too. I used to love them when I was little and eat them every couple days. But I tried one a couple weeks ago for the first time in years, and it was disgusting and made me feel sick. It gave me a headache almost immediately and I couldn't concentrate. I cannot eat crap like that anymore, but people are poisoning their bodies with ti every day. I honestly feel that shit like that should be considered poison and be illegal, along with diet coke and artificial sweetener and a bunch of other things that are probably killing people slowly.

[♥Mark]

There's only a few people I would presume would do this: - Paigeyemps - IsabellaSage - Saltyseedog - Paigeyempts - IsabellaSage (♥Mark) - IsabellaSage (♥Mark) - IsabellaSage (♥Mark) - IsabellaSage Okay, I admit it. Paige did it. Also it's a waning crescent and a snowflake.

[SnowyCat]

Splicd 00:07 to 00:20 · Cowboy Bebop Tiger striped cat story - English version Oh god the bebop yes

[melanieb]

People are bad at trying to write in different styles to cover their identity lol If that's so true, how come you haven't discovered mine?

[tommo]

If that's so true, how come you haven't discovered mine? Hah, I guess I don't know you enough I hate those too. I used to love them when I was little and eat them every couple days. But I tried one a couple weeks ago for the first time in years, and it was disgusting and made me feel sick. It gave me a headache almost immediately and I couldn't concentrate. I cannot eat crap like that anymore, but people are poisoning their bodies with ti every day. I honestly feel that shit like that should be considered poison and be illegal, along with diet coke and artificial sweetener and a bunch of other things that are probably killing people slowly. Agree completely, I stopped drinking Coke altogether, I only drank diet and that zero one mostly, but had a couple recently and it's just terrible, I felt like shit after having it. Sticking with good old regular sugar now. They found out recently that artificial sweeteners give you diabetes anyway. I'm going completely natural foods soon I think - seafood (not fish coz the fishing industry is destroying the ocean), veggies and fruits. I don't really like normal meat and it's full of antibiotics and shit anyway, and grains are apparently pretty bad for you and stop your bowels from repairing which may explain my digestive problems.

[Linkzelda]

If that's so true, how come you haven't discovered mine? Yeah, you're not really that predictable, unless you're drunk, but even then, it's hard to tell when you're really anything. It's not everyday you see someone with a Turkey for a pet. And I feel you're just trying to get attention or something on this thread. "Oooooh guess who I am guise! guys! Nope! Not close! Try Again! I'm so mysterious, I'm too deep for you guys. You'll never find me out, teeheehee." Something tells me you're mostly in the mindset of an Adam West 1960s cartoon show combined with Metropolitan Mall Music playing in the background - cheesy, preppy, and needs an update on the times. But that's probably not even close to trying to figure you out. If my boyfriend would ever let me, I'd totally make a porno with Sasha Grey. I'm a girl, and I find her overwhelmingly sexy. In fact...the man would probably be completely left out cause I would happily be Sasha's bitch. Fuck anonymity this is Z. 5/21/2013 6:29 PM When she doesn't have the smokey eye-liner, has a lower tone of make-up, she looks amazing. I'm very self-conscious about my body. I know that I shouldn't be, everyone tells me I shouldn't, but I can't seem to shake it. Often it's the only thing I can think about. I think I need to see a therapist. 5/22/2013 2:30 PM I'm usually just self-conscious about my face, even though I should be concerned of my chubby body. I can't even get the camera to take the right picture, and I look at the mirror and I see a completely different person. I don't think I have any kind of disorder with image, but I do look weird with certain cameras, maybe it's because of the lighting in the house. Bleh.

[Original Poster]

No one has spotted me either. I haven't even tried to disguise myself at all

[Linkzelda]

No one has spotted me either. I haven't even tried to disguise myself at all Oh really Kip? wonder if the person who seems to think most porn actresses enjoy aggressive porn also thinks most women enjoy prostitution? i never said the majority of the nonsense they ascribed to me. i hope they read my confession again a little closer. i never said anything negative about women who enjoy submissive or freaky sex with their partners, i totally support that. and i never singled out the american industry with respect to the violence issue, i was just expressing my opinion about 'american-style' models as opposed to e.g. eastern europeans where the style is natural beauty. 4/11/2013 5:38 PM I've seen that phrase in variations a couple of times on ED from you. >.> Source to confession: http://www.dreamviews.com/lounge/141...ml#post2007850 Replacing "I" with "i" I see.

[SnowyCat]

Oh really Kip? wonder if the person who seems to think most porn actresses enjoy aggressive porn also thinks most women enjoy prostitution? i never said the majority of the nonsense they ascribed to me. i hope they read my confession again a little closer. i never said anything negative about women who enjoy submissive or freaky sex with their partners, i totally support that. and i never singled out the american industry with respect to the violence issue, i was just expressing my opinion about 'american-style' models as opposed to e.g. eastern europeans where the style is natural beauty. 4/11/2013 5:38 PM I've seen that phrase in variations a couple of times on ED from you. >.> Source to confession: http://www.dreamviews.com/lounge/141...ml#post2007850 Replacing "I" with "i" I see. I dunno, I don't think I've ever seen OP use an emoticon in a post before.

[Original Poster]

Rofl that one's not me

[Linkzelda]

See Snowycat? That's what he wants us to think.

[Original Poster]

You've managed to prove my point, no one need worry about getting caught, at worst your confession will be blamed on someone else.

[Jeff777]

I didn't give you permission to un-anonymous me.

[AURON]

I didn't give you permission to un-anonymous me. I'm jealous....well minus the dude you crushed.

[tommo]

If my boyfriend would ever let me, I'd totally make a porno with Sasha Grey. I'm a girl, and I find her overwhelmingly sexy. In fact...the man would probably be completely left out cause I would happily be Sasha's bitch. Fuck anonymity this is Z. Who the fuck is Z? Yeah Sasha Grey is a goddess, I knew someone who had a similar look to her in high school, wanted to hit that so bad. Jeff, well now that it's done, wanna give us some names?

[paigeyemps]

Okay, I admit it. Paige did it. Also it's a waning crescent and a snowflake. Thanks Iz, for throwing me under the bus. You betray my trust yet again. P.S. /whois IsabellaSage|Asleep Do it right now.

[AURON]

Who the fuck is Z? The only person who comes to mind is Zhay...but she's married.