Originally Posted by Alyzarin
In this context, I don't agree. I may be wrong, but I believe that was the point of the part that says "you do whatever you want and I'll enjoy it". I get this because sometimes I feel that way, and at those times it really doesn't matter what they want to do, the fact that they can do whatever they want is the turn on itself. There are plenty of guys who are for this logic too, there are subsections of the fetish scene devoted to it. In a situation like this I think what it really just comes down to is how much you really want to have that fantasy fulfilled vs how much you love your partner for who they are whether or not they can fulfill it. If I was in a loving relationship with someone and really wanted to stay with them then I could deal with it, but if I was just trying to live this out then I would much rather just wait until I found the right guy for it than dampen it.
That's not to say that I don't think communication is great in a relationship or even just sex, but for this specific fantasy I would feel much better without it. It's kind of like the whole point of it is that there's no communication, so you're not really doing it if there is. It's not just watering it down, it's totally negating it.
No like, I understand that you probably prefer the guy doing whatever he wants to you, but I thought that if the person doesn't have any knowledge of that person beforehand (if they were to do casual safe sex with multiple people for instance), they would ask questions beforehand. Sure, any guy would love to be able to do whatever they want to a woman, but I still feel communication is key.
And most of the communication is just to see what gradually leads the woman to let the guy do whatever he wants. I don't know about you, but I always imagined that if a guy can gradually ease into a woman's libido that's like a long and stretched out melody of minor orgasmsm etc. compared to men's explosive, one-shot libido, that the guy would know what the person likes (especially getting the female to really get into thinking about how wonderful the penetration would feel).
If women generally take a longer time to reach orgasm than males (assuming the female didn't actually aim to orgasm faster), that the male would do minor things that gradually leads the woman to anticipating, getting turned on from the anticipation, and thus getting them to a higher libido faster, so that the male can compensate for his one-shot libido (usually), and it ends up being a win/win for both.
It seems reasonable, especially if the female isn't in the mood, if the guy knows what gets her in the mood gradually (stroking her hair, rubbing her cheeks, going into safe zones etc.) and then when she confirms it with the sighs, moans, etc. then he would know what to do next and move on to more intense levels, and eventually, the woman would be responsive to basically anything because she's saturated with all sorts of combination of romantic, sexual, and other emotionally bonding thoughts.
Maybe you as a female would like the guy to do whatever, but that preference (presumably) is for women that usually think about other things (like magnifying or over-exaggerating the image of the male/female making love to them) and they see the person they're making love with now as a way to think about melodic rhythms that helps them increase their libido.
Or it could be for females that literally see the one giving it to them for their own preference of having themselves filled, and knowing that they're being loved (even if the person doing them is at it for just sexual satisfaction), the female receiving it can go into her own fantasy of her being submissive, or seeing the situation as her giving permission for the male/female to do that to her (something I presume doms would think about).
Originally Posted by Alyzarin's response to Dianeva
Where did you pick up the thing about a safe word? That was never specified one way or the other in the confession, just because you don't give someone specific instructions doesn't mean you can't have a safe word.
See that's the thing, if you just want a guy to "take" you (whether it's related to BDSM or whatever), it's presumed that there was communication beforehand about a safe word. However, you can't assume that the person confessing themselves did that to their partner, and based on their attitude towards that person constantly asking them what to do, I doubt they really put much thought into safe words.
Of course, they may have, but we both can't presume that, so it's really just the confession being a bit vague. Maybe she did talk about a safe word (to the partner, not in the confession), maybe she didn't, maybe she's the type of girl that doesn't care and wants a mystery and is a completely submissive masochist. How would we be able to know that?
But again, I guess it comes down to how you look at things, so your guess is as good as mine.
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