Zhaylin
Drowning in Dreams

I've been placed on a blood pressure med called Minipress which is helpful for nightmares and night terrors. It usually works very well. Last night was the exception.

I took one and laid down to sleep at 1:30


I dreamed I was in some sort of hostage situation. I was in some house with a few ladies, one man and a bunch of little kids. I was NOT cooperating with them in the least. I felt certain I would be raped, but I just couldn't stop my defiance. I was just SO MAD.

At one point, I grabbed my phone out of a purse [RC missed- I don't carry a purse lol] and I tried hiding it under a couch cushion but I was caught and dragged away from the phone by my feet.
Eventually, I escaped and it turns out I was in row apartment housing. At the end of the row I ran into a woman and asked her to call the cops. I didn't know which house number I had come from and I worried about the others, so I went back.

When I entered the door, one of the women was holding a gun on the 3 bad guys and the man of the house boasted about the level-headed thinking of his wife. He beamed at her and I felt his jab against me for putting up such a fight.

The cops came and they took out one dead body. The body of another woman was wrapped in some sort of plastic to keep her insides from falling out and to keep constant pressure on her wounds.


I woke up and took another minipress, don't know at what time. (My p-doc wants me to take 2 at bedtime but I can't take them together or I get extremely sick)

In another dream, I was at some sort of religious event. I think the people there were Catholic for the most part. One woman was very welcoming. She was a nun but not in the traditional sense. She didn't wear a habit and she wasn't a virgin because she entered after having kids and being married. Then the dream contradicted itself because she went on to say the Priest wanted her to change her name when she was 17 because no one would want to marry her. But she refused. Her name was pretty common too, Margaret, I think.

She was very depressed and I told her to just cast her worries on Jehovah and he would sustain her. She despised herself though so her worst enemy was herself. Then I told her to remember Job as he wrote the book of Jude [ say WHAT] and how many of the disciples entreated God to take their problems away but he said no. It wasn't God punishing them, it was them having to live with previous actions or the effects of time.

She appreciated the comfort and sat with me. Conversation got heated somewhere else, and I HAD to get involved and correct someone's misunderstanding of a certain Bible verse (?)


In yet another dream, I heard a knock on the door. I opened it and found the construction crew. One of them was letting me know they were just finishing up. There were garages and smaller building all over the yard, but they looked unfinished.
I walked outside to look at their progress. There was a pile of logs near my house and as we walked by the pile became unstable and rolled. Many people were it. A couple were buried. I raced to see where I could be of help, but I felt in the way as others beat me to the wounded. So I just tried cleaning up and rearranging tools on a table (?). Then it occurred to everyone that some people could be completely buried.
All of us started to move the logs and sure enough, we found 4 white slaves (?). They were in some recess and it didn't look like they had been crushed, but they still appeared dead.
I went to check on one of the women and she darted up in shock. She said sorry about the fright, but she must have turned her "rape shield" on at the last moment. lol

A recurring theme seems to be assertiveness and aggression. Both of those things have been on my mind a lot. Especially since I answered some questionnaire about/for my youngest daughter and one of the questions was: "[Does she] knows the difference between assertiveness and aggression?" I became very annoyed at the question. I thought to myself: "There's a difference" "What's the difference"
that says volumes about me. Once I thought of it, I knew the difference and was like But in my mind, they go hand in hand because all my life my assertiveness has always = someone else's aggressiveness
So, it seems my dreams were telling me I need to stand up for myself more often, but I still need to use logic.

As for the rape theme.... in my demented mind, rape is still sex. I've not had sex for over a year and I went to sleep last night in a "mood". I can't cheat on my hubby, but if I was raped..... yeah, warped thinking I know. As if any sane person would ENJOY being raped.

The first thing I recall is dreaming that my teeth were falling out. They came out with little effort (i poked and pulled a tiny bit). It was as if they were suspended inside my mouth by nothing and I wondered how they hadn't fallen out sooner and I thought of an example of slamming on my brakes while driving and my teeth just flying out lol
In the dream, my p-doc was my Dentist and I worried how he would react.

I've not had such a dream in a VERY long time. I blame Erii's post about the Dentist

In another dream, I was at my Grams house and I kept missing phone calls because she had a telephone that flashed red instead of ringing for the hard of hearing. But then the dream gets all jumbled with another one.
What I recall of it is being at some bar/restaurant. The Land Cruiser was in the parking lot but it wouldn't move. I went out to put something away and berated myself because not only had I left the keys in the door, in another door hung the keys from my new car.
I was traveling somewhere and I worried about hubby finding the Land Cruiser.

Somehow all of that gets jumbled with yet another dream of me babysitting. One of the neighbors was a real ass and he came over to harass the little boy under my care about one thing or another. The boy was only about 6 or so. He just barged in and went to the boys room. I told him the boy was napping and that I wouldn't try waking him and that he needed to leave etc. He shook the boy awake and the boy promptly bloodied the mans nose
The man left, taking his little daughter with him (?) and the mom walked in and I started rambling off what happened. She was furious and went to the door to yell at him, but at that moment, his little girl fell and cracked her head on the sidewalk. Her dad was right there but we females still wanted to rush out and comfort the child, but we held back.

Which jumbles my memory further and I recall my parents at my Grams house. They were upset about something and had to travel a great distance to pick up my kids because my sisters car broke down (kids were with them). My dad raged on about how what goes around comes around and he might not give my sister and her hubby a ride home before bringing my crew back.

Which further jumbles with the dream from the bar/restaurant and someone asking who my hubby was and being shocked by the answer and more shocked by the age difference.

And then I recall having laid down on someone else's bed and I was certain I had been exposed to lice and I became highly annoyed.

I only slept for about 5 hours and it was definitely NOT good sleep.

I took a nap from around 5-10PM (some "nap" lol) and I had a dream worthy of recording.
It actually wasn't anything special but it left me with a good feeling when I woke.

It started out kind of strange. I watched the dream as I'd watch TV. There was a boy of about 10 and he was twirling around young, thin-ish trees. He'd run at them, jump, grab and then turn in circles until the tree was uprooted (they were growing on a sandy incline). Afterwards, something caught his eye (?) and he felt bad for his actions and wondering how many animal homes he had destroyed.
Then a hideous woman came along but he saw her as a young girl which melted the woman's heart. He picked her dandelions (?) before the flower stage and the pieces kept blowing away in the wind. He didn't notice, though, and the woman didn't mind.

Then he was going to make her "soup" and so he began gathering ingredients. She asked if she was free to leave whenever she wanted (she thought she was his captive?) and he said "I guess so... you're old enough." Implying he would have made her stay if she was younger but only because there were dangers in the woods.

Then the dream changed completely. I was there and there were 2 young boys. One of them found a Donald Duck Pez Dispenser and tried eating some of the candy still in it. I asked for the dispenser and began telling the boys what it was. I told them they had found something from when their fathers or grandfathers had been boys and that the Duck was of a cartoon- something you would watch on a thing called a television. I noticed an old fashioned TV in front of us and indicated it. I then told them about cartoons and indicated a nearby coloring book, telling them it was like that, only they moved around and talked etc.
They were in disbelief lol.
I went on to tell them about movies and how they made you feel anger, sadness, joy or hope or even terror.
They started looking bored lol and I woke up.

Before then though, I had some run of the mill dreams. In one, I was going to help my brothers ex move but I didn't want hubby finding out. I was driving the Land Cruiser for some reason. There was a thick blanket of snow on the ground and I turned around in the driveway, careful not to get hung up when I backed in the yard a bit. Then I realized I didn't have enough gas and that I would have to reschedule.
There was another dream before that one, but I've forgotten it.....

I've been having some doozies lately.
One night, I dreamed that Artie, from my Kingdom Hall, cornered me and told me enough was enough. I needed to get back into the KH. His wife made a move to take my cigarettes but I wouldn't let her. I told them I could not come back until my kids grew up and left me. They caused too much stress, legal problems and messes for me to go back. I NEEDED my smokes until they left to cope with stress and I couldn't go back as long as I smoked. Joni (wife) said I needed to just attend the meetings and regain my spiritual strength and that if I did, I'd surprise myself at just how much life would improve.
They then asked if I had gotten rid of some books and video games that were overly violent and inappropriate. I hadn't.

That's the only dream, from earlier in the week that I recall.

Last nights dreams had me talking to my former bestfriend from the KH- Roxie. There were some weird changes happening. Men could now marry more than one woman Ron and Melvia (an elderly couple!) were trying to bring a younger woman into the marriage.
I was surprised Roxie was talking to me. We spent a good while just catching up and I asked her why she deleted her FB account. She answered it was too distracting.
There was a lot more but I seem to have forgotten it.

In another dream, my former favorite cat Rogue came home. I was so happy and pet him and played with his stubby tail just as I used to do. I was at my parents house but it was a lot different. I eventually realized the bathroom door was open and Cuddlebug (bunny) was nowhere to be found. My birds cage was open too. I closed the cage, amazed that Rogue didn't even try to eat them. Then I went looking for Cuddlebug.
I opened the back door and there were strange bugs and reptiles on the top step. I didn't want to squash them with the door, but I also didn't want to be attacked, so I was extra careful.

There was a small pond to the side of the steps. It was tropical, with lots of plants and flowers.
Then I see some other reptile slither to the water. Only, it wasn't really slithering. It was just really close to the ground. I thought it was a baby gator at first, but it was actually some enormous lizard/salamander
The dream then changed direction and I was with my hubby trying to repair a generator. I told him about the lizard and insisted on him looking at it.
I don't recall how the dream ended, thought the eldest dog briefly entered the story. He was with a black lab stray and it was starting to rain very hard. I put them both in the garage, worrying they would jump on and scratch hubby's new V.W. bug. It was a great shade of green- light, but almost olive.
The dogs started barking crazily and THAT'S when I woke up.

When I woke, that dog was carrying on IRL.

Strange combo, I know
They were separate dreams, I think.

I don't recall much about the kitten one. Only there were a bunch of them and for some reason I was removing their heads with a pair of canine nail clippers The last kitten was bigger than the other. I snipped and snipped at him neck but I just couldn't remove it. The kitten was purring and being affectionate and I felt bad that I had to kill all of them.

In the other dream, I was at a large hospital or school with an older sister. She was blonde and beautiful. We ran into some sort of trouble and took off running for our car. A man reached us just as we were trying to close the doors. He began trying to rape my sister but I talked to him. I told him I was perfectly willing and I'd make it worth his while. The eyes of my sis were kind of glazed in shock and disbelief.
He came to the back seat and started removing his clothes. I helped him and kissed his stomach.
Then he did the deed and it was over within seconds
Then I cursed having not asked him to wear a condom because I was ovulating PLUS I didn't want to get some disease. But it was too late to think of that...

Then he thought we were dating and my sis and I decided to keep things hush-hush. Our dad was someone important and we didn't want to make his life difficult.
The dream gets all jumbled at that point. Dad had taken someone to a secret room to torture and kill him, thinking the man had hurt his oldest daughter. We wanted to intervene but our shame was great.

The dream then changed almost entirely and I was at some park with friends. There were 2 sets of roller skates. A RL HS friend wanted to skate with me, but they were too small. Instead, my "rapist" was going to go with me.
But along the way, I stopped to gather the eggs of a "thrusher". There was also a spider as large as a german shepherd that I tried avoiding.

That's it.