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    Thread: redisreddish's poetry-type things

    1. #1
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      redisreddish's poetry-type things

      Yeah, I like reading/writing poetry and I thought it'd be interesting to see what people have to say about what I write. I don't think I'm very good, lol, but I write it anyways because I like the way poetry sounds and I want to get better. Please, if you have some criticism then offer it! Any comments are welcome, too. Um.... enjoy.

      (I can't underline or bold or anything at the moment, but I will when I can)

      ~~Wake Up~~

      Everyone just like everyone else
      A zombie flock of sheep
      They don't know the meaning of unique
      Their "beauty" isn't even skin deep
      All one picture, painted the same
      Can't tell them apart
      boring
      boring
      boring
      Boring!
      I say, let the individuality start!

      Sing!
      Scream!
      Dare to dream!

      Don't blend in--stand out!
      We don't need more zombies about!

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      Weeping souls
      Barren lands
      Forgotten sorrows
      Running sands

      ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

      I suppose you can tell what the first is about, and then the second one isn't very good, but I just liked how it sounded. The words popped up when I was listening to wolves howl.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    2. #2
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      Lol, I know there's a board game called Life, but that isn't what I'm talking about in this one.

      ~~Game of Life~~

      Life is a game
      We all play
      Whether we want to or not

      But the rules are confused
      Do we play to stay
      Or make the best of what we've got?

      Either way, some excell
      Some lag behind
      Fall farther back every day

      They struggle to move
      But the game is cruel
      Lost thoughts lead them astray

      So easy to quit
      Admit defeat
      Stop trying and just give in

      But victory's sweet
      Worth the fight
      Satisfying to say "I win"

      That's a question, though
      Can we really win?
      Will the scars of our struggle ever mend?

      There's really no answer
      It's the game of life
      The game without an end.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    3. #3
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      Numbers counting up and down
      One to twelve and back again
      Shadow spinning on a dial
      Hourglass with running sand
      Grandfather clock with iron hand
      Watch on the cutting edge of style
      Linear system devised by men
      King of our life who wears no crown

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    4. #4
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      Pinkpricks of light shining up high
      Blue turns to black as the day slides by
      Skeletal branches of bare trees reach out
      Owls "whoo," coyotes shout
      All the diurnal fade out of sight
      Snow glitters softly in silver moonlight
      Take in the the beauty of a world called night
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      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    5. #5
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      I love the Wake up one... so true.
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    6. #6
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      Thank you!

      Having a brain fart at the moment. Will try to post more later.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    7. #7
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      One voice all together
      Loud and happy and strong
      A single laugh stands out
      Different, but never wrong
      Some say we're at the bottom
      But we're really at the top
      We're crazy, musical, spazzy...
      And we don't know how to stop.

      ~~~~

      I guess that one could be interpreted a few different ways. I wrote it to be about me and my friends. "One voice all together" is all of us laughing and singing, "Loud and happy and strong" is self-explanitory, and "A single laugh stands out" is referring to me--the only girl in our group. "Different, but never wrong" just means that the guys treat me like one of them (which isn't always a good thing, mind you ); never like I'm weak or don't belong. "Some say we're at the bottom" is how some people look down on us because we don't act like everyone else. "But we're really at the top" is how we view us, though; we're happy and unique, and that's good. Next line means what it says, and "And we don't know how to stop" is saying that unhappiness is foreign to us--we just don't know how not to be happy.

      I suppose I didn't need to put the explanation, but oh well. I felt like writing it.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    8. #8
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      Just worrying about a friend with this one.

      ~~~~

      You see the world through a dark veil
      It's not worthwhile, there's really no purpose.
      Everyone will lose, everyone will fail
      Happy endings are for a fairy tale.

      But it's not like that at all,
      Just look around you.
      See the colors of summer and fall,
      Catch a snowflake, beautiful and small.

      How could you give up hope?
      Life is hard, but it's amazing.

      Count the moments that take your breath away,
      Watch a sunset end the day,
      Then see pictures in the stars of the sky,
      Follow the fireflies twinkling by.

      Life is an adventure where there's always something new,
      There's so much to see, don't cut it short.
      You might not think anyone cares about you,
      But I do.

      ~~~~

      I have another one I'll add later.
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      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
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    9. #9
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      I'm glad I found the thread. Those poems are brilliant. I really like the one about time, it all clicks perfectly. I'll make sure I check out your work.
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    10. #10
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      Thanks so much!

      ~~~~

      Here's the one I didn't have time to add yesterday.

      ~~~I Don't Care~~~

      I thought you all would get it by now
      But apparently you don't.

      You knock me to the ground, I'll get back up.
      Push my down,
      Push me around,
      I don't care. I've already been there.

      I thought you all would stop by now
      But apparently you won't.

      Call me what you want, I've learned to zone it out.
      Stupid freak,
      Such a geek,
      I don't care. I've heard my share.

      I thought you all would learn by now!
      But apparently you can't!

      Yeah, I'll stumble, yeah, I'll fall.
      You'll all laugh,
      I don't doubt that,
      But I don't care. I. Don't. Care.

      ~~~~
      It occurs to me that I should write some happier poems.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    11. #11
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      Alrighty then. Back after over two months to add a poem. This one was an assignment for school.

      ~I Don't Understand~

      I don't understand
      Why the weeping willow weeps
      Why the hyena laughs
      Why the wolf's song is so sad.
      But what I don't understand most
      Is how people are blind
      To the beauty everywhere.
      From a fierce lightning strike
      To a butterfly's wings
      Earth is a miracle
      But they see none of it.
      What I do understand is music.
      The universal language
      Connecting everyone together
      Fast or slow
      Upbeat or sad
      It belongs to all.

      ~~~~
      EDIT- Oh! I wanted to add: Wake Up, the first poem on here, is going to be published! I entered it in a contest and won!

      DOUBLE EDIT- Also, I may start putting some of the things I draw/paint on here, and maybe some snippits of the stories I write.
      Last edited by redisreddish; 06-23-2010 at 07:07 PM.
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      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
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    12. #12
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      Just a drawing. mirrored.jpg Oh! That's kind of big. Sorry.
      Last edited by redisreddish; 08-25-2010 at 08:49 PM.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

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      ~~~Still It Shines~~~

      In our darkest moments
      When nothing's going right
      And we stand alone, defeated,
      There always is a light.

      Although sometimes we think it's gone
      It cannot be put out
      That fire, burning endlessly
      Through sadness, fear, and doubt.

      An everlasting presence
      In the most uncertain times
      When everything goes wrong that can
      Hope: still it shines.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

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      I like your style.
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      Nice Drawing, I'm trying to draw me making a comet in art class. I wrote "Lucid Dreamin'" on the top of my paper, people keep asking me what that means. I just tell them its a type of dreaming where you can do anything you want.
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    16. #16
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      Yay, comments! From quite a while ago. -sigh- I need to get on here more often. Anyways, I'm at school at the moment with about 8 minutes left on the computer. I can't make up a poem that fast. But me and my friends are making a band. It's gonna be... well, probably not that good, but anyways. The name is Forest Fire. Maybe I'll put up some of the songs if I can.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    17. #17
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      Okay, once again, I'm at school with limited time. Better than nothing, though. I have... almost a poem.

      He went down a different path this year,
      He left;
      There's one less with us here.
      He surrounds himself with a whole new crowd
      ??????
      ??????????????????????????
      The company of the friends he used to keep
      Is lost;
      The dog became a sheep.

      ~~~
      Two lines yet to be made, and it's about a friend who kind of deserted us this year.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    18. #18
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      Your voice was kind of like a frog
      And you snored like a broken flute
      Everyone said that you were so ugly
      But I always thought you were cute.

      You would purr before I even pet you
      You were my favorie cat
      You may have been scraggly and old
      But I didn't care about that.

      For a cat you had a really long life
      You were great, to say the least
      And now you're in a better place
      Rocky, rest in peace.

      For Rocky, June 1992 - Oct 2010

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    19. #19
      Eternal Apprentice Awakening's Avatar
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      I really like how you combine rhyme with meaning in your poetry! When I tried to make one of these in my native language it took me sooo long.
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    20. #20
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      Thanks! What's your native language?

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
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      Portuguese. I think it's easier to write poetry in Portuguese than in English, because every word have many shapes (thus being easy to make rhyme), but I'm not good at grammar so I don't try to explain it further.
      Last edited by Awakening; 10-26-2010 at 04:49 AM.

    22. #22
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      Portuguese! I don't think I've ever heard or ever even seen anything written in Portuguese before.

      ~~~

      I could sit and admire the clouds,
      How they're strewn across the sky,
      But you don't even glance their way
      As they float slowly by.

      A single flower could enrapture me
      With its simple, natural grace,
      But a million of them wouldn't interest you
      And your pointless, too-fast pace.

      The beauty of a sunrise amazes me,
      How it paints the heavens with fire,
      But the splenor of such a brilliant thing
      Is something of which you tire.

      Words arranged in stanzas and lines
      Are fantastic, musical to me,
      Kind of like the ones I'm writing right now
      In this poem you'll never read.

      ~~~~EDIT: Oooo, me and my friends are making a band. If we manage to make any songs, I'll put them on here.
      Last edited by redisreddish; 10-28-2010 at 06:54 PM.
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      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
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    23. #23
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      Well, our band is called Forest Fire, and we have few songs... but I don't have any of them with me. Of course. Blaaaaahhhhhhhhh

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    24. #24
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      Evil opposed and good embraced
      But off each other they are based
      Bound together, sister and brother
      You can't have one without the other.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

    25. #25
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      ~Justin~

      You're happy
      You're Mario
      You're hugs
      You're fun

      You're sweet
      You're laughing
      You're as bright
      as the sun

      You're random
      You're smart
      You're creative
      times ten

      But best of all
      You're my friend.

      random 056.jpg
      Last edited by redisreddish; 01-22-2011 at 09:01 PM.

      "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistant one."
      Albert Einstein

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