The most painful thing you have ever endured.

**Schmaven** · 03-01-2014 10:36 PM

It's a long one, sorry. But it was a near death experience.

The most painful thing was almost dying. I hadn't drank or smoked for about 3 years, then visited some friends for Christmas. We smoked, and mixed all kinds of random liquor with coffee. I had just a few sips of it, not much. While watching Lord of the Rings: Return of the King, I felt a very big thump in my chest...

I noticed my heart beat in my neck, very strongly, and could feel it in my chest. Then I couldn't. My vision started to fade like when you stand up too fast, and I felt light headed. I fell off the couch onto the floor, not sure what to do. Then I started to have difficulty breathing. My chest started to burn, as well as my stomach, just like when you try to hold your breath to your limits. Then it felt like I was kicked in the balls, repeatedly. That ball-kicking pain started to increase a lot, literally surpassing the previous maximum pain I felt many times over. I started to lose the ability to see color, as everything turned shades black, white, and some other colors. The pain seemed to keep doubling in intensity every few moments - increasing burning in my chest, and horrendously sharp lower stomach pain. Seriously doubling in intensity over and over again. After a few minutes that seemed like hours, I thought it was quite funny how bad the pain was. The fact that it was exponentially increasing amused me.

Laying there, pretty sure my heart had stopped, and definite that I couldn't breathe, I concluded I was in fact dieing. Then came the emotional pain... I was surprisingly happy about what I had done with my life, up until the last moments. But the immanent doom was all to near. I was looking up at the ceiling light, sort of aware of my friends holding my legs from jerking around, when I thought about going into the light. "What if it were possible for everyone to be happy forever? Count me in" Then, the catch, "What if for everyone to be happy forever, one person had to be in the worst pain forever?" Ignoring that one person, I thought, "Well, the happy forever sounds good" Then I realized, that one person would be me! Especially because of how callous and uncaring I was for that one person, it should be me. The strongest dread I've ever felt came over me. I recognized clearly how self centered I had been all my life. I felt how much pain I had caused others due to my own selfish actions. I also noticed the movie was at the scene where Golem was falling down the mountain, bouncing off rocks. Very synchronistic for where I felt to be headed.

To my surprise, I then thought of assuming the role of that one person to suffer excruciating pain forever so that everyone else would be happy. I imagined how free and happy everyone else would be, permanently free from all pain, fear, and misery. Love took over, and I felt overjoyed at the opportunity to do that for everyone. It seemed to be fair, given how much everyone has helped me, and how I repaid that with selfishness. All the pain immediately ceased, and blissful tingling spread through my spine, and then to my limbs. I would do this, for everyone.

Unfortunately, I forgot that for a moment, and was overcome by the fear of my whole world disappearing, and the unknown of what was about to happen together with the weight of my selfishness. Immediately, the excruciating pain returned as if my balls were parked on by a large truck. Luckily, the pain reminded me of everyone else. I thought of how many people have died for the sake of others, how many people have submitted themselves to torture that probably surpasses the pain I am feeling, to protect those they love. With renewed courage, I thought again that if I could suffer forever so that everyone else would be happy, I want to do that. Immediately, the pain ceased again, and blissful tingling pervaded my body.

As my vision faded to black, and then red with glittery swirls, my mind went back and forth in this way. As I did so, the pain alternated with extreme peace and comfort. I thought it was taking a while to die, but I was happy to die, because I had Love for everyone, willing to take on all their suffering happily, and believing that this was going to happen. After a few more cycles, I thought, "I have really good conditions in this life to help people. I have learned a lot of invaluable lessons, have an amazing network of friends, and am involved in some excellent volunteer work. It would be nice to keep living and make the most of that for everyone's sake" What a shame I hadn't thought of that sooner.

I wanted to be able to help others be able to die happily, instead of fearful. To help everyone be happy, no matter what is going on, and to find a way to be peaceful inside, even if they are doing powerful things outside. "Well, dammit, I'm going to try" I thought as I forced myself to take a breath. The subconscious breathing control had completely shut down at this point, so it really took everything I had to inhale, and again to exhale. I again noticed my chest burning, and the pain in my gut. Forcing another breath, and another, it seemed to do nothing, but I decided to keep doing it anyway.

Long story short(er), my vision returned, my heart gave a big thump, then some irregular beats, before resuming its normal rhythm. The next scene I saw in the movie was of that big white tree at the top of that castle in the side of the mountain near the end of the movie. I took that as a good sign, it looked pure, and healthy.

**Rozollo** · 03-01-2014 10:44 PM

From the age of 12 to 26, I was in constant pain whenever I ate. Chronic, double-over pain, that the doctors couldn't figure out. Had my gallbladder removed, had many tests, and nothing. Switched my diet, and it was gone. I also have/had cluster headaches since childhood and chronic migraines. Those were pretty much blindingly painful for days on end.

The absolute worst, and closest I came to suicide, was when my eye surgery failed, and I had to endure it consciously as it failed a second time. I couldn't eat or drink anything for 3 days without vomiting (with eye surgery), and I had a constantly blinding headache that made me want to die. That was pretty horrific, and left me half blind. Two weeks ago, I had a tear in my retina, which was the same issue that started that last bout, and I had to have the wound lasered. Each laser felt like I was being hammer chiseled while staring at the Sun with my eye dilated. I had about 30 to 70 blasts she said.

**Smashem** · 03-04-2014 01:01 AM

Nothing too bad, though it gets very annoying having to go places with a red anus, Apparently my mother pulled my arm so hard when I was little my elbow dislocated

**Universal Mind** · 03-11-2014 03:09 AM

I broke up with a girlfriend 3 1/2 years ago because she was having drunk meltdowns about four times a week and was showing what a control freak she was. When I didn't have her any more, I fell about 10 times more in love with her and tried to get her back. It didn't work. About two months later, I saw that her Facebook status said, "In a relationship." The feeling I had at that moment was the worst feeling I have ever had. Being set on fire would have felt better.

However, it was like a drug addiction. I craved her, but deep down, I knew that we weren't right for each other. Now I'm really glad we didn't get back together. The same drama would have happened again, and I would have broken up with her again. I might have gone through 50 cycles of that if she had been willing.

**Athylus** · 03-11-2014 11:37 AM

Them feels Universal, my ex was a crazy woman too and I was head over heels for her. Two years later (wow, it's been that long already) I still can't figure out why, however I'm glad as well and would never get back to her. Perhaps breaking up with her was the most painful thing ever, yet.

**Universal Mind** · 03-11-2014 10:59 PM

Originally Posted by Athylus

Them feels Universal, my ex was a crazy woman too and I was head over heels for her. Two years later (wow, it's been that long already) I still can't figure out why, however I'm glad as well and would never get back to her. Perhaps breaking up with her was the most painful thing ever, yet.

That sucks. The really unstable ones can be mesmerizing. They are worse than heroin.

**Athylus** · 03-11-2014 11:39 PM

Originally Posted by Universal Mind

That sucks. The really unstable ones can be mesmerizing. They are worse than heroin.

I haven't had heroin luckily, so I wouldn't know. But mesmerizing they are indeed... it's strange.

**calidreaming** · 03-28-2014 09:15 AM

Physically, I had an ovarian cyst and it wast the most excruciating pain I've ever endured. I could barely breathe without it feeling like I was being stabbed a million times in the stomach. Not a very pleasant time, and the doctors wouldn't give me anything for the pain, besides ibuprofen, which was completely useless. I was not a happy camper.

Emotionally; having to say goodbye to my dog. It's way harder than I'd ever imagined. I lived with her for 13 years, and suddenly to not see her every day was incredibly painful. I went with her to her final moments too, so that was quite difficult. Aside from that cyst, I'd never hurt so bad in my entire life.

**EbbTide000** · 03-28-2014 10:51 AM

calidreaming

Sync, sync, synchronicity. Pain began Tuesday. Saw doctor today, Friday. She gave me appointment for a pelvic ultrasound.

Doc thinks I have an ovarian cyst. I got codine to see me through the weekend.

Originally Posted by calidreaming

Physically, I had an ovarian cyst and it wast the most excruciating pain I've ever endured. I could barely breathe without it feeling like I was being stabbed a million times in the stomach. Not a very pleasant time, and the doctors wouldn't give me anything for the pain, besides ibuprofen, which was completely useless. I was not a happy camper.

Emotionally; having to say goodbye to my dog. It's way harder than I'd ever imagined. I lived with her for 13 years, and suddenly to not see her every day was incredibly painful. I went with her to her final moments too, so that was quite difficult. Aside from that cyst, I'd never hurt so bad in my entire life.

**TwoCrystalCups** · 05-07-2014 01:50 AM

Waking life--> hitting pinky toe against a metal frame or any hard frame of any kind...wisdom tooth pain...that's about it.

Dream life--> Pain in a more emotional way than physical, i once woke up crying non-stop for 20mins, it was something too much...i forgot what it was i wish i had wrote it down but i wasn't in DV yet. :\

**Alric** · 05-08-2014 09:57 PM

For me, it the pain I some times get in my stomach/abdomen. I don't know the cause but I think it is from just eating something that just doesn't sit right with me. I am not talking about food poisoning, but maybe the step down below it which happens for like half and hour or something then goes away.

It is just something about internal pain that feels worse that other sort of pain from getting hit or burning yourself or cutting yourself or anything like that.

**Universal Mind** · 05-13-2014 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by Alric

For me, it the pain I some times get in my stomach/abdomen. I don't know the cause but I think it is from just eating something that just doesn't sit right with me. I am not talking about food poisoning, but maybe the step down below it which happens for like half and hour or something then goes away.

It is just something about internal pain that feels worse that other sort of pain from getting hit or burning yourself or cutting yourself or anything like that.

That sounds like heartburn. Tums helps with that, but Alka Seltzer completely eliminates it, if it's just heartburn. Really serious extremes of the same issue are acid reflux, and there are medications for it. I've never had that, so I don't know if Alka Seltzer works on it. I have wondered for a long time if acid reflux is the same thing as heartburn and big pharma is playing games to sell more expensive drugs.

**Original Poster** · 05-28-2014 12:44 AM

Death

**Darkmatters** · 05-28-2014 01:22 AM

^ Necropost

**tropicalbreeze** · 06-12-2014 05:09 AM

That sounds like heartburn.

could also be stomach bleeding.

as for me, i would say a knee injury. all i thought about during that time was being able to run again and getting back to the gym. just the thought of me not being able to do that which i felt passionate about had me contemplate suicide. luckily with time my knee healed and i was able to run again. my passion for fitness grew much stronger after that.

**raffifish** · 07-30-2014 04:56 PM

The worst physical pain is probably when I had a bunch of glands removed from my throat and a tracheotomy.

But I think depression is worse.

**~Dreamer~** · 08-01-2014 10:38 AM

Hard to choose just one, but I think the worst physical pain was having cortisone injection treatment for keloid scarring. I needed about 25 injections per session, and scar tissue isn't flexible like normal skin, so I could feel it tearing open with every tiny millimetre that the needle moved. I had to go back for many sessions, and the scarring didn't heal that well in the end, anyway.

I've had lucid nightmares where I experienced excruciatingly painful forms of torture, too, and I've felt emotions that were much more painful than any of that.

**Djaxup** · 08-01-2014 10:41 AM

in waking life: kidney stones... and the resulting colic pain was just unbearable. I also suffer from migraine sometimes and took painkillers just before the kidney stone pain started. The docs refused to do surgery because my blood clotting would be seriously hampered by the painkillers and I had to wait for five days... I am very glad that the pain was coming and going in waves and not 24/7 in that time. But that was quite an experience. It's hard to describe. Feels like unreal pressure, as if your kidney is being crushed, to a point where you can no longer tell what part of your intestines it is that hurts. It begins like really, really bad back pain, but then worsens from minute to minute. I could not keep my mouth shut, and as an avid martial artist I am quite used to pain and am by no means a sissy. But I was unable to bear that pain in silence or keeping still.

The night just before surgery was the worst. 6 hours non stop pain that made me sprawl on the bed and moan/groan/cry uncontrollably. They started with novalgin and ended with morphine to kill the pain. Morphine worked, it dulled the sensation, but I could still feel it and it still hurt a lot. But boy, it was better. Made my vision freaky though.

As a teenage boy I was climbing a tree and fell down as my foot slipped away. I fell with my crotch onto a broken off tree stump, thick as an arm. That was a blinding pain, my oh my. I was not able to walk for an hour or so, I really feared that something was broken. ouch. But that kidney pain was a lot, a LOT worse.

in a dream: being crushed to death by a truck and dying inside a submarine that was crushed by water pressure. It was only a short moment before waking up horrified, but the pain was unreal (no pun intended) and carried over to waking conciousness for a few moments.

**acatalephobic** · 08-02-2014 10:58 AM

Broken/infected tooth?

I waited too long to get my wisdoms out and eventually busted two, and one got badly infected. Word to the wise, always have good dental! Why?

Because dental work is essential, very pricey, and without it an avoidable thing turns into way more pain and money than you could have EVER expected. The longer you wait, the pricier it gets.

Earaches, migraine, and severe sinus pain can be awful, but for me the bad tooth takes the cake as far as blinding, thought-inhibiting pain like no other. At the end I could barely dial the phone properly.

All things considered though I am grateful though because I know there's worse physical pain out there.

As for emotional pain, or dream pain...both I am less comfortable judging I guess? These areas are less a 1-10 scale and more a grey area to begin with, and my reasoning would all be based on personal experience and opinon...

If I had to hazard a guess though, I'd say the emotional pain of grief/loss in it's various forms is the worst emotional pain I've ever experienced.

**Cubellius** · 08-05-2014 09:48 PM

I don't really know.. Call me a pansy, but I like to avoid things that could lead me to being hurt/in pain. Falling off a bike? Getting my teeth drilled? And emotional pain - I didn't really experience much of that either, either I'm just a bit cold hearted or haven't experienced anything too emotionally painful.

**lucidmats** · 08-07-2014 09:07 PM

When I was about ten I burned my chin really bad! I had almost 3rd degree burns, after pouring boiling tee out of a broken thermo can on my face, worst pain I've ever felt! Also it kept hurting and hurting, never want to experience that again.
I could even take the skin of my face like a skin mask with a mouth hole and everything, really weird

Fortunately my skin healed amazingly good and it is like I've never burned myself at all

**OpheliaBlue** · 08-11-2014 12:50 AM

Child birth. Right behind that, what acatalephobic said about teeth. I had a wisdom tooth that went rogue on me so bad once, that punching my temple with my fist actually helped a bit.

Originally Posted by lucidmats

I could even take the skin of my face like a skin mask with a mouth hole and everything, really weird

Wooooooooooooooooow O_O Glad it healed up good.

**lucidmats** · 08-11-2014 09:52 PM

Thanks Ophelia!

I'm fortunate to be able to keep my wisdom teeth. Best thing about it that I dont have to get any shots! I really hate needles

**Phantox** · 08-17-2014 02:38 AM

Getting pepper sprayed by Phase IV in the academy. The thing is the second strongest in the world apparently and its actuslly considered bear spray. As soon
as i opened my eyes, my knees almost hit the floor and it felt like i was gonna cry. Pain lasted for 3 days and 5 days on my hands and face. After the 5th day, my skin felt sunburnt

**snoop** · 12-09-2014 12:29 PM

Honestly the longer life has gone on, I'm pretty sure life itself is the most painful. Of course I mean emotional turmoil and how painstakingly slow and long it seems to take. I handle things fine, in fact often I'm fairly happy and I tolerate stress pretty well, but something is up if I've been more than ready to die since the age of 16, and now that I am 23 I can't even imagine living 3 times longer than this because of how long it feels like I have been alive already. Maybe I'm just a really lonely dude. Physical pain has just never really bothered me, I've had plenty of situations that people would probably post about here but it's hard to even conjure most of them to mind because pain just comes and goes, even if it happens to last a few months at a time, it doesn't feel constant like living does. I've broke my nose on a parachute jump in the army and got a TBI with it, and fucked my hip up pretty bad on another, and I already mentioned getting hit in the head with a metal discus (which somehow I felt no pain from at all). Especially the quick pains, like breaking my nose, I didn't even feel until a few hours later. I more or less landed really fucked up and had my helmet slide forward and smashed face first into the ground, but all I could do is yell fuck real loud, then felt it to see if it was seriously deformed or anything and instantly blood was pouring down my face and all over my uniform. I've had more massive wrecks on bikes and skates when I was younger than I can count that left up to 3 appendages totally skinned.

I realize it's not a discussion thread, but does anyone else seem to experience pain in the more fleeting way that I do? It's just unnatural for me to dwell on it if I even feel it at all. I don't want to try and sound like a badass, if anything I feel like being so tortured by life itself is kinda pussyish, so please don't take it that way. I'm just curious if there is anyone else that experiences pain the same way I do. In fact, one could say I experience pain in a very dissociated way. It feels like it happens but it doesn't, and then it's totally on the backburner, or as I said I'm completely separated from it. In dreams I am unable to experience physical pain at all. There's also a state of mind I can put myself in that totally erases the ability to feel pain (honestly it's blind rage, but I can turn it on pretty easily) and I could get stabbed or hit with a baseball bat a few times when coming at somebody and probably not flinch or notice at all until after everything is said and done.