• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Punching Arnold Schwarzenegger in a Library (plus meanings)

      by , 10-12-2021 at 09:55 AM
      Morning of February 5, 2020. Wednesday.

      Dream #: 19,406-02. Optimized 2 minute read.

      I have a turntable set up in a featureless, unknown location as part of a large console to use commercial music sections in new mixes.

      I become annoyed because, although the music is playing through my headphones, it is also blaring through the speakers, and I do not want to annoy other people in the room. There may be a short or a loose jack. I stuff tissue paper in one input.

      The setting changes. I am in an unfamiliar library. Many other people are here. I now only have a turntable on the floor near a bookcase. Although I am still thinking about mixing music, I notice a group of interesting little books on a shelf.

      They remind me of the vintage Little Blue Books (Haldeman-Julius Publishing Company) I once had, but they seem to be a periodical as there are issue numbers on them, published each week since the 1900s. I read some of the content. On one back page, a couple of sentences are curiously at an angle, overlapping others. I can still read the content regarding 1930s women’s fashion. There are many pages featuring crafts. Two unfamiliar boys intend to sit down while they face the bookcase. They accidentally stumble onto my turntable. I shout at them after they fall and again when I see a crack in the middle of the tonearm. (It is flat and made of cream-colored plastic). I believe they should pay for a new tonearm. A bystander watches me.

      Arnold Schwarzenegger approaches. He commands me to stop yelling at the boys. I spontaneously punch him, and he goes flying backward, all the way to the other side of the library. He transforms into a shoddy black and blue plastic robot that seems like an oversized hollow toy, with limbs that are flat in profile and somewhat skeletal. It lands on its head near a bookcase.

      If you are knowledgeable about dreams, you know that arm swinging is a spontaneous physiological stimulus for emergence from REM atonia (physical immobility while sleeping). Protoconsciousness (here as Arnold Schwarzenegger) induces this response. There is a correlation with the cracked “tonearm,” cleverly directing me to gain muscle tonality and arm mobility for waking.

      My dream’s cerebral phasing stage (seeking and reading text) included vestibular phasing ambiguity (the illogical angles of the superimposed sentences revealing a conflict between my imaginary vertical orientation in my dream and my body’s horizontal position while sleeping).

      Arnold Schwarzenegger becomes an unrealistic robot as in 1984’s movie “The Terminator.” Movie influence is often predominant in my dreams more than associations with real life. Protoconsciousness often personifies as either a celebrity or an unfamiliar person to block associations with waking life from a personal level. The robot’s infeasibility correlates with REM atonia. (Dolls or statues are other indicators of this type of metacognitive awareness.)

      The robot’s colors are an incidental correlation with the phrase “beaten black and blue.”

      Stuffing tissue paper into one input correlates with putting tissue paper in one’s ear to block sound while sleeping.

    2. The Interview in Antissa, with Sun Spiders

      by , 06-13-2020 at 11:25 AM
      Morning of June 13, 2020. Saturday.

      Dream #: 19,535-07. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.

      My dream self maintains the instinctual awareness I am dreaming (after dropping back from post-liminal mode to pre-liminal) by becoming more aware while sitting in a bed near the ocean (potential reinduction). There is the typical indoor-outdoor ambiguity, with my bed in this instance being near a harbor in Antissa, Lesbos, though the setting does not have a more discernible definition.

      My waking-life identity is absent. I am listening to an operatic aria (fictitious, I assume) sung by Luciano Pavarotti about Antissa. (I do not listen to opera in waking life.) I am unsure of the source of the music, but it is probably from a cassette (as my dream self has no recall of what a CD is).

      The sleep-wake manager eventually appears as an unknown male, but he is in passive mode (non-RAS; non-cerebral.) I sit down and watch him create a painting. It features a black oval as a scene of outer space. (This feature represents a higher level of sleep atonia, which may be why somatosensory kicks in as the trigger in the last scene rather than a vestibular event.) There are sparse red and blue ovular arcs around the “egg.” I absentmindedly add a blue ovular arc to the image’s right side with a felt-tip pen. Almost immediately, I feel as if I may have been intrusive in doing this. I start praising his art, focusing the most on the outer space rendering within the oval. He does not seem angry or annoyed.

      A reporter approaches and wants to interview the unknown artist. There is still indoor-outdoor ambiguity, though the setting has more outside dynamics at this point. The two men stand and face each other, about ten feet away from me. The reporter says he is interviewing “the aggressor.” I am puzzled by this and state that he is not an “aggressor,” though I do not know his history. I hope I did not embarrass him by saying this.

      Soon, a sun spider (camel spider), as long as the reporter’s head, crawls around from behind his head and covers his right ear. I am amused, as neither man seems to know it is there. Another sun spider of about the same size as the first crawls from behind the reporter’s head but goes around to the other man’s right ear. The man ignores it despite being aware of it. There is no sense of a threat, as my dream self considers them harmless. I wake at this point with a sense of great amusement.

      A vestibular-cerebral handshake did not occur as the waking process in this instance (as the result of greater sleep atonia but with a directive toward hand myoclonus), so it was somatosensory in this case. In other words, I sleep on my left side, with my right ear more exposed to my waking-life environment. The somatosensory focus was liminally drawn to that factor, especially as a spider often represents the human hand and its somatosensory arousal (though a sun spider is not a true spider).

    3. Talking with my Father (and Grandfather) at a Public Venue

      by , 10-23-2018 at 10:28 AM
      Morning of October 23, 2018. Tuesday.

      Dream #: 18,936-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. Readability score: 69.

      I am at the Concordia Ballroom in La Crosse. (My father often performed publicly here when I was very young.) There is a service counter at the east end of the hall (a fictitious orientation, as it was on the north end). My father is sitting behind it. (I do not recall that he had died in 1979). His father is standing to his right but appears as being much younger than my father. (I do not focus on the absurdity of the scenario.)

      My grandfather is talking about the history of our family. During this time, I am trying to connect wires so that both speakers will play music. The one on the far left is working, but the far right one is not. I hear sound only in my left ear. I wrap the clusters of wire around each other. There are many that stick out from different areas of the plastic coating. My father looks on as I do this. I am wary of touching certain ones together, but in reality, it would not matter, as there is no electrical current. I spend several minutes doing this, starting over a few times.

      I sincerely tell my father how much I enjoyed singing with him when I was a boy.

      My grandfather speaks of a fictitious family history meant to be the truth. I remain puzzled about the details, but I do not say anything. Supposedly, my father’s mother’s name was Boyat (unfamiliar to me). She was famous and had an artificial knee. (In reality, the name was Ruland and appears in a book about Tecumseh.)

      Eventually, the right speaker starts working. When this happens, I absentmindedly but dramatically run off to the far end of the hall. I enter a bedroom where Zsuzsanna is sleeping. I leap into the air and fly a short distance. I try to wake her, as it is supposedly late in the afternoon. (In reality, she is awake, and I am asleep in my dream.)

      There have been numerous dreams of connecting wires. It seems to indicate a subliminal attempt to become lucid or connect with my current conscious self identity. I hear the sound in my left ear, which is dream state orientation, as I sleep on my left side with my right exposed to the real environment, so having the full connection would initiate conscious awareness within my dream.

      In this dream, I become more subliminally aware of being in the dream state, but I do not achieve a viable liminal or lucid understanding that I am dreaming. Still, I automatically enter the usual vestibular system correlation stage by leaping and flying in dream state indicator space; the bedroom where Zsuzsanna is sleeping. Up until then, I had no recall of my current conscious self identity. I wake shortly after this. Before I am awake, I see patterns of an offset dream forming to my left, which mostly shows laundry, and I consider it is “correct” in being down to the left.

    4. “Baby Driver”

      by , 09-15-2018 at 05:35 AM
      Night of September 13, 2018. Tuesday.

      Reading time: 1 min. Readability score: 62.

      Vestibular system correlation begins as my dream begins, which is semi-lucid but allowed to render randomly, as I do not make a willful attempt to orient or give willful detail to any of the patchy space. However, a common thought at this stage is choosing the setting of being on a bus, which is not as expansive a process as a helicopter or airplane (or flying unaided).

      So the setting stabilizes as a bus, seemingly in late afternoon, but I am not corporeal, as I have not fully “stepped in,” though I am on the right of the bus driver’s seat. There is no driver. An empty child safety seat (baby car seat) is atop the empty bus driver’s seat, closer to the steering wheel. The bus is moving in a setting that seems like an ambiguous mix of a bullring (bullfighting arena) and a Nascar venue. Although it is driving itself, my dream self is still liminally controlling its direction and speed.

      The Paul Simon song, “Baby Driver,” is loudly playing from an undetermined source, diffusing through the environment. There is an enhanced awareness of energy and activity. I start to feel very amused and cheerful by the absurdity of the scenario. Most members of the audience are cheering and throwing confetti as the bus circles the area.

      I start to wonder why the Paul Simon song emerged, as I had not heard or thought of it in years. Still feeling cheerful, I decide to come out of my dream.

    5. In Square Spiral

      by , 08-23-2018 at 10:47 AM
      Morning of August 23, 2018. Thursday.

      Reading time: 42 sec. Readability score: 66.

      In my dream, I am in an unknown setting, finding myself wandering around in an ambiguous inside-outside feature. (That is, I seem to be outside and inside at the same time. It is a dream awareness, quite common, that I cannot consciously resolve.)

      I am mainly near a structure that models Ulam’s spiral. I walk along an outer wall. I see Christopher Franke standing near one corner and talking about a particular song. I have a vague but incorrect memory that Tangerine Dream did the soundtrack for “The Bermuda Depths.” Another male is playing a keyboard. It is supposed to be a live commercial or promo, but Christopher forgets the name of the song, though is not angry. He is cheerful about the mistake.

      I continue to go inward around the square spiral. I know I will probably see Christopher again near (and before) another turn. As I approach, I know he is dressed differently, promoting a different song. I know there will be additional versions of him near other corners. I do not consider this unusual.

    6. My Strange Music Video

      by , 08-12-2018 at 08:59 AM
      Night of August 12, 2018. Sunday.

      Reading time: 1 min 29 sec. Readability score: 73.

      I had made a music video of one of my songs. An unknown male happily praises my work, saying how “perfect” it is. I had supposedly not seen it for a long time.

      The video recording is somehow on an audio cassette. (I have not recorded on audio cassettes for years.) I notice that the tape, in a cassette deck about three feet below the monitor and vertically oriented, had been left near the middle and I remember that not having a cassette tape rewound when not in use exposes the surface and might cause wow and flutter and damage the area. I start to play it, but it is about a minute into the song, so I rewind it to the beginning of the video.

      “My” song turns out to be a strange version of “Sloop John B.” It mostly features me standing and singing in front of the sides of old ships. I am singing out of key. My voice is wavering and is annoying. Not all the words are the same as the original song, but I eventually make out, “So hoist up the John B’s sail. See how the mainsail sets.”

      In the last scene, I notice a cannon pointed towards the viewer, on the right of where I am standing in a closeup shot from my chest up. It appears to be protruding from behind a tarpaulin.

      My dream is a typical mix of associations that are unrelated. The main idea comes from sailing, as I had been using the word “oneironaut” (“dream sailor”) in some dream-related essays I had recently been writing. (Boats and water occur regularly in my dreams as it is.) Another word I had been using recently is “canon,” though related to known facts about my dreaming history. (In contrast, there are photographs from when I was about four, where I sat astride a cannon in a park.) Being the video’s last scene, it is the reactive representation of the cessation of the dream state. (Additionally, it may be a phallus association that reflects a need to wake and use the bathroom). In real life, I had recently made a video of a recent track of mine, but there are no vocals.

    7. Another New Way of Making Music

      by , 07-25-2018 at 08:03 AM
      Morning of July 25, 2018. Wednesday.

      Reading time: 1 min 25 sec. Readability score: 64.

      Throughout my life, I have had numerous dreams in which I produced music using a surreal method. Some that were significantly more abstract involved my body becoming different musical notes in a series as I remained in bed.

      In this dream, I have a setup where I make music videos for people based on video content they give me or notes on where to find the content. I produce this music by using a machine that looks like a filing cabinet.

      I am creating three different tracks (two of which are similar), but two have minimal content and are only eight bars in length. I focus mostly on a reggae track that only has a kick, high hat, and a horn. The horn motif is mostly the same note, but with different duration. I am contemplating the addition of a snare, but I do not get around to adding one.

      I arrange the music with each note of each instrument serving as a folder in the filing cabinet drawer. The rendering of the music begins from the front of the filing cabinet drawer. The lowest frequency of each beat is first in each sequence. The usage of timing and rhythm (implying sheet music format) involves reading each note from the bottom of each beat section (that the high hat indicates), moving up. For example, there would be a kick “folder,” followed by a few horn “folders,” followed by several high hat “folders.” It does not sound like a recording I have heard in waking life.

      Before I wake, I am seemingly adding sixty-fourth “notes” between a few others that are probably eighths. However, I am likely adding sixteenths amidst eighths instead as I am not thinking clearly. I assume that because each folder features a couple of straight parallel indentations on each side, above where it folds. That would logically make it a sixteenth note. (A sixty-fourth note would have four such indentations.)

      Curiously, my method of the folder placement in the drawer seems correct, although it would be difficult in reality. I do not see any sheet music to aid in the validation of the arrangement.

      Updated 07-25-2018 at 08:43 AM by 1390

    8. White Audio Tape not Playing Correctly

      by , 07-05-2018 at 07:08 PM
      Morning of June 30, 2018. Saturday.

      The setting is unknown but implied to be our present home. I had been given an audio tape with music on it, from an unknown young male. Zsuzsanna is present. The music is like a mix of dub and progressive rock and has a science-fiction theme.

      The tape is about as wide as reel-to-reel tape. It is shiny white but otherwise has the same texture. I attempt to play it by putting it in a large device in which one end of the tape goes up at an angle, about a foot away, onto what looks like an oversized spool for a sewing machine. This is set up inside a cupboard near floor level.

      It plays at times but keeps getting jammed. I notice that it is irregularly encircling the higher spool to my right. The rest of the audio tape in transit is not touching anything as it winds around the higher spool from the other part of whatever I am using to “play” its audio. I get annoyed, take it out, and realize that it will not play correctly, as it has a buildup of gray spots on it, which I call “gray oxide”. I am slightly annoyed at being given a older audio tape that will not play correctly.

      Tags: audio tape, music
    9. Soundfont Fiasco and Roosevelt Not Roosevelt

      by , 06-28-2018 at 10:16 AM
      Morning of June 24, 2018. Sunday.

      This entry is about two dreams of a different nature, though of which occurred during the same sleep cycle.

      In one dream, I am in an unknown room in semidarkness. A friend and classmate from years ago, Roosevelt, is seated at a different table than I am. I am talking to him about a “different” Roosevelt as he is writing something, not listening to me very closely. The Roosevelt I am talking about is in reference to who he is now in contrast to our school days (even though virtually everything else regarding my current conscious self identity is not extant in this dream scenario). (He is now a well-known singer in Germany.) After a time, I am very puzzled by what I am thinking, as the Roosevelt at the other table is apparently the same one I am thinking of and I wonder if he will be annoyed because of this. I cannot clearly focus on the scenario. I am even wondering where the “other” Roosevelt is even though he is at the other table and there is only one Roosevelt. This is a typical dream state waking process, where my conscious self identity is emerging more slowly. The two literal threads of which are both the one Roosevelt have not yet coalesced. (Synaptic gating and preconscious coalescence is a major factor of the waking process and is often rendered by way of dream state autosymbolism.)

      In my other dream, it seems I am seeking more soundfonts, though very curiously, they are actual objects rather than computer files. I have many of them and I am testing them to see if they could be feasible for producing music. There is an unknown male present in some scenes. We are sharing information on these supposed soundfonts to see which ones sound best.

      These fictitious “soundfonts” are a bit like miniature comb kazoos that one must press their lips around and blow on, the difference being a vague similarity to reeds with several “teeth” and without the need for paper over them. I have a library of them which supposedly includes one million eight hundred thousand (1,800,000) different flute sounds. I also recall one relating to various sounds of trombones.

      At another point, I see a set of hundreds of dog stickers or icons of which are somehow related to the soundfonts as possibly some sort of context menu or somehow descriptive, mostly only sketches. They include dog firemen and other scenes of dogs in human activities.

      Much of my dream involves playing these supposed soundfonts in an unfamiliar outdoor area, though my dream eventually distorts into the usual indoor-outdoor ambiguity (the sense of being indoors and outdoors at the same time, a common factor of the dream state itself, mainly caused by subliminal awareness of being asleep in bed while thinking about being outside).

      Tags: music
    10. “Time to Ride”

      by , 05-01-2018 at 08:29 AM
      Morning of May 1, 2018. Tuesday.

      I become somewhat puzzled in one of my last dreams of my sleep cycle. I keep hearing the old Donny Osmond song (from when he was a boy), “The Wild Rover (Time to Ride)”, which I had on a 45 when I was a boy. It is a song that had not even crossed my mind in many years.

      Eventually, during sustained hypnopompic disclosure (the period in which my previous dream’s meaning surfaces and is clearly understood), I perceive it as the usual autosymbolic waking process, which had borrowed “The sun’s about to rise”, one of the song’s lines. (This happens fairly often, that is, my dreams using waking process autosymbolism based on song lyrics, and it is sometimes songs of which I had not even thought about at all in years.)

      Updated 05-01-2018 at 03:25 PM by 1390

      Tags: music
      dream fragment
    11. Listening to a Fictional Music Album

      by , 04-01-2018 at 10:01 AM
      Morning of April 1, 2018. Sunday.

      I am uncertain of my dream’s location. Settings are always different even when modeled after real-life places I have lived, though there is a vague essence of the northeast area of the Cubitis living room (where I have not been since 1978). However, it also feels like a variation of our present address, seemingly the dining room, which we use as our bedroom, though in this case, it could be a subliminal infusion of where my physical body is in reality as I sleep.

      There is a website (name unknown) where I had a musical album stored for a month or two. I am listening with headphones. There is a large photograph of a rocket launch on the wall, which is implied to represent the cover art for the song (or possibly the whole album). It is to the right of my view. Additionally, there is another monitor, more to the center of my view, which displays the website’s main page. Although the rocket in the image looks realistic, much of the background appears somewhat like an oil painting, with uneven patches of darker and lighter blue.

      In contrast, the setup to listen to my music is on the opposite side of the monitors. I listen to the beginning of my song and hear only two sustained mid-range notes as the supposed introduction. Apparently, the website has a rating system for different songs, but this is only a vague thought. I am aware of a Giorgio Moroder influence on all the tracks (and yet I do not pick up on the dream state indicator of his song “Together in Electric Dreams”, a trait of my non-lucid dream self that suggests exclusive synaptic gating even when obvious dream state indicators are otherwise rendered).

      There is a time period where I watch a short movie that represents one of my songs, which seems based on some sort of odd science-fiction story about “howling”. A large spaceship (reminding me of the 1978 Battlestar Galactica in overall shape) with lots of satellite dishes on top is approaching another planet. There are satellite dishes everywhere on the planet. This is what the “howling” is related to, that is, the satellite dishes “howling” at each other, the backstory and reason unknown.

      Over time, the sound is not loud enough and sometimes drops out. I move the left side headphone connection somewhat, and the wire just falls out. This makes me very annoyed. I take off my headphones and notice an apparent previous attempt to fix the other side. There is a small mess of entangled and looped copper wire on the right side. I talk about throwing out my headphones, saying, “even though they cost a hundred dollars” (which is incorrect as they actually cost over four hundred dollars in reality).

      The headphones are related to the subliminal awareness of being unconscious and not fully discerning real-life environmental noises. The headphone wire coming out of the left side is precursory to hearing less illusory dream-rendered audio (as waking-oriented autosymbolism is usually directed to my dream self’s right if I am sleeping on my left side).

      The rocket launch image is typical autosymbolism for the emergence of my conscious self identity as the waking precursor as well as the energy of my real physical body, which the dream self is otherwise primarily unaware of in unconsciousness. (Virtually all vehicles in dreams; cars, boats, airplanes, rockets, and so on; subliminally represent the specific essence of the physical body and specific association with physical dynamics, each vehicle depending on the level of awareness in unconsciousness, and dreamers who pay any attention at all will easily realize this fact even without the level of disclosure I have in understanding auto-scripting and receiving hypnopompic disclosure. Ultimately, this is a no-brainer, as the word “vehicle” itself is used to mean the physical body.)

      Updated 05-03-2018 at 07:18 PM by 1390

      Tags: music, rocket
    12. Bus to Bunk Beds

      by , 12-20-2017 at 06:20 PM
      Morning of December 20, 2017. Wednesday.

      Bus to Bunk Beds

      I am aware of a double-decker bus in our neighborhood where we presently live. It seems to be afternoon. I see it pass three different times. After it stops for a time on the street and about two houses east of our house, I discover it is mainly now made of the bunk beds of our two youngest sons. I am annoyed because it may take some time and work in getting it back in our house.

      A singular vehicle, whether it is a bus, car, airplane, or boat, is typically a form of autosymbolism that stems from the illusory physicality of the dream state. In this case, it actually transitions to the dream state indicator of the bunk beds as further validation of how such autosymbolism forms in REM sleep, almost like a virtual reverse engineering of the dream sequence itself. This is quite common in my dreams and one of the factors that helped me understand dreams at a very early age.

      Lounge Room Enterprise

      I am lying on the lounge room floor in the morning when I realize our lounge room “is” the USS Enterprise (NCC-1701 from the original “Star Trek” series). At times, I consider if I am inconveniencing the crew by lying near the captain’s chair (to its right). No one says anything or asks me to move or get up. Additionally, there is not a viable sense of traveling through outer space in this case, though it is not implied to be the television series set either. Looking up at our television, which seems mostly normal, it shows stars and what looks like small curly hairs moving toward the viewer, our television apparently serving as the Enterprise viewscreen.

      This was similar to “Helicopter Not Landing Yet” (relative to its specific type of autosymbolism) from Christmas morning of 2016 and a number of other dreams since childhood. In such dreams, the vestibular system correlation associated with the illusory physicality of the dream state transmutes into a house or other building perceived as a vehicle, with various levels of ambiguity (including the essence of bilocation in some cases, which is common in my dreams). This includes dreams such as “Riding in a House Back to Arcadia”, where my Cubitis home travels down the highway as an oversized bus.

      “White Christmas” Not a Trigger

      I hear lyrics from “White Christmas” (sitting in the lounge room of our present home, possibly hearing it from a radio or television), but I do not catch this dream state indicator, that is, the phrase “I’m dreaming”. Such dream state indicators rarely trigger lucidity and if anything, keep me relaxed on the passive side of RAS mediation, even though they have occurred throughout every sleep cycle for over 50 years. That is moot though, since I seem to think it is near June rather than December and see it as unusual in that way, as being “unseasonable”.

      Along with “Theme Park Drive with Zsuzsanna” and “The Roof Factor”, 5 of 12 regular dreams for this date are presently online. (By “regular”, I mean other than the numerous hypnagogic dreams at the beginning of each sleep cycle, which are typically too many to count or feasibly record.)

    13. Musical Keyboard Distortions and Distractions

      by , 09-13-2017 at 12:38 PM
      Morning of September 13, 2017. Wednesday.

      The main setting of my dream seems to be a larger variation of our bedroom in the house on Stadcor Street in Brisbane, where we have not lived in years. This seems to be the more dominant awareness of such due to that house’s kitchen being nearby in my dream’s layout and somewhat similar to real life, though there is also a vague association with the southwest Cubitis bedroom.

      In addition to a young version of my wife Zsuzsanna, there are four female “angels” or devoted “dream servants” present, though their behavior is atypical as my dream is non-lucid and they seem like my “protectors” as well (this being a non-lucid subliminal carryover from the nature of apex lucidity and unrelated to my real life). One of them is the (retired) actress Leelee Sobieski, seeming about twenty-five. I eventually become annoyed with her as she seems to have a contrary mindset at one point. I bump into Leelee while I am intimate with Zsuzsanna (while Leelee is facing away from us). This physical contact annoys Leelee and her annoyance annoys me (and makes me suspicious yet not lucid), so I conclude her “devotion” is pretense despite her being a “guardian”. However, any perception of conflict soon fades.

      In a scene in the kitchen, I have an electronic musical keyboard. I am thinking about recording some music for a new track. My mother is now present. (My dream self does not recall that she had died in 2002.) Pressing some of the keys, I see that one of them (seemingly a B key near the center of my keyboard) seems either loose or stuck due to the power cord somehow having been wrapped under the key. My mother tells me that she had done this (though unknowingly causing the problem), which makes me very annoyed as I am not sure if the key can be fixed as it seems broken or at least different in response to the other keys. I still want to play some music.

      I soon notice a tiny hairless creature that I first think is dead. It is lying between the A and B keys near the middle of my keyboard. I feel a sense of disgust in thinking that it may be a small rat fetus. However, over time, it begins to move and then breathe and gasp. “Oh…It’s a dog fetus,” I say aloud to the others present in casual matter-of-fact observation.

      Earl (an older half-brother on my mother’s side) is soon present. (My dream self does not recall that he had died in 2007.) The tiny hairless puppy, not much bigger than my thumb, is making unusual motions with its mouth (reminiscent of the “baby” in the movie “Eraserhead” from 1977). I wonder if it will even live, but I consider that Earl should put it with its mother to suckle. I have a wholly unexplainable false memory that Earl has a small dark gray cairn terrier that is likely its mother. The tiny “puppy” has an unusual brief feature on the top of its head that looks like an angular cap (though without the brim) of the kind a policeman or postman would wear, though it blends in with its head like an actual darker physical feature relating to its minimal fur. I know that my mind is creating this association somehow but it does not trigger lucidity.

      In the last scene, I have a meal with the four “angels”, Zsuzsanna, my mother, and Earl. My keyboard seems unrealistically bigger and oversized, and we seem to be using it as a table. Along with other food, which seems mostly normal to me, I also seem to have eaten much of the puppy except for its head, though the imagery is quite magnified. I feel a bit strange, but then I realize it is not the original puppy, but a “copy” of it, and that the “real” one is with its mother. At this point, my dream becomes more abstract and fades without a direct waking prompt.

      Foundational dream state indicators (no present relevance to real life): Our previous bedroom in Brisbane synthesized with my parents’ bedroom of Cubitis is simply based on concurrent subliminal threads of awareness of having gone to bed and additionally perceiving Zsuzsanna and I as parents.

      There are multiple reasons as to why Leelee Sobieski appeared in this dream, yet all of them unrelated to real-life symbolism and linked directly to the Reticular Activating System and real-time preconscious dynamics of the dream state. Reason number one stems from having briefly and randomly looked at details on IMDb of the 2007 movie “Walk All Over Me”. I only watched the first few minutes (and will watch it later with Zsuzsanna). She plays Alberta and appears as a cashier in the first few minutes, and the preconscious sometimes takes the form of a cashier to symbolize “checking out” of the dream state (as a lifelong recognized RAS function). Reason number two stems from her role in the 1998 movie “Deep Impact”, which has a theme analogous to the cessation of the dream state (“end of the world” association, symbolically unrelated to real life in this case). Reason number three comes from her role as Joan of Arc as associated with “divine voices and visions” and being in the dream state. Reason number four stems from her no longer being in movies as analogous to the waking precursor (“watching movies” as analogous to dreaming, though there may also be a play on “retired” as in going to bed).

      The power cord wrapped under the key is a dream state indicator (unrelated to present waking life) that no pretend “dream interpreter” could possibly have a clue about. Here is why: When I lived in America, I sometimes used to script dreams in real time by using affirmations in a digital sampling keyboard and did in fact, cause a key to stay down with the power cord holding it. In fact, the irony of this plays off of itself. In one real-time scripted vivid dream when I was young, I was distracted in trying to find the real audio source in order to turn it off. I was in a hallway with various doors and could not tell where the real sound was coming from. This is possibly one of the most hilarious failures of critical thinking skills in an otherwise vivid lucid dream.

      The last part of my dream is based on new ideas in my approach to newer music (as symbolized by the puppy needing to develop more). It is also an odd form of coalescence in “feeding off” my dream state (and the dream self coalescing back into consciousness). Also, as in uncountable past dreams, I was vaguely aware that I was consciously creating my dream (even though I was not lucid in any viable way), mostly only vaguely discernible in the scene where my focus on the “dead rat fetus” willed it to change into the living tiny hairless puppy. The focus on it coming to life and breathing relates to both waking up and very mild sleep apnea that is usually not a problem for me. Additionally, there are “end markers” here I do not typically go into detail about in an entry. For example, the B key represents the end of an octave and where there is no black key to the right of it, as a play on coming out of the unconscious state of dreaming, no more liminal space implied by the next white C key after the white B key.

    14. The Human Flute

      by , 08-31-2017 at 09:02 AM
      Morning of August 31, 2017. Thursday.

      When I was a toddler, and as a consequence of a long journey being required to get to a hospital (from an isolated cypress swamp), I nearly died (well, I did have an NDE) from loss of blood and almost lost my left hand as the result of an accident of falling from the top of a stool (I loved to climb) across a large piece of a glass mug. However, miraculously, I fully recovered contrary to predictions made by the doctor. Somehow, my brain was wired differently and I did not even go into shock. (I also grew new neural pathways and trained myself to use my hand again, without any help, by the age of four which some had claimed is why my clarity of mind is as it is and why I always remember so many dreams from each sleeping period). Years later, people noted how my scar looked somewhat like a reversed map of Florida, the state I was born in (Zsuzsanna has a similar story, but that is one of many). It is shown partly in the image as such in a photographic flip (though it actually goes around the other side of my wrist from there). When Zsuzsanna and I met, there was also a healing process. (For example, the large hard lump in my left wrist, made up of random bone and tendon, somehow vanished after being that way since I was a toddler. Zsuzsanna’s leaking cartilage in her right knee, another lifelong condition, also no longer existed as such.)

      At any rate, in this new dream, I have some sort of smaller medical tape covering my scar in at least two pieces that are perpendicular to each other. I am somewhat puzzled, as I remember my wound but I do not fully recall its status. I seem to be near the age I am now. The tape seems to be coming off, and I am concerned that the wound flaps are not fully integrated into my arm, as parts of my arm seem to open like a purse (as had occurred in another recent dream, though in that case, it was my entire arm).

      After a time, I hear music coming out of the holes of my wound, which sounds like odd flute music but vibrating somewhat. The texture of my arm seems somewhat unusual, and it is also as if I am blowing into my scar at one point and playing it to create flute music.

      As I am dreaming this, I am awakened by Zsuzsanna - who validated that I had been snoring for awhile. This of course (and I actually did have my mouth near my wrist as such though not as fully as in my dream), along with numerous other experiences, proves to me that the belief about “not being able to dream and snore at the same time” is utter nonsense (as are most beliefs about dreams that are widely published). It may be true for some people, but certainly not for all. (In fact, most ideas about dreams are limited to perhaps only certain individuals assuming any truth at all, for example, people talk about “not remembering dreams”, yet I do all the time, each sleeping period, including hundreds of lucid hypnagogic sequences and with non-lucid dreams, my mind typically automatically decodes their meaning unless prescient.) There have been a number of dreams where my snoring provided a “soundtrack” for my dream, including childhood dreams (including one about a dinosaur, triggered by hearing my own snoring through the veil of sleep) and one as an adult about being pursued by a bear (the sound of the bear being my own snoring).

      Tags: flute, music, wrist
    15. The Wonderful Miniature House

      by , 07-25-2017 at 11:20 AM
      Morning of July 25, 2017. Tuesday.

      I am in an unfamiliar room, though of which may be implied to be of our present home on W Street. There is a miniature two-storey mansion near one wall. Its appearance is unfamiliar. Still, I recognize this dollhouse as a known possession by way of a fictional backstory. It is big for a dollhouse, coming up to about the height of my waist when I am standing, though my viewpoint relevant to its size changes, especially in the last scene of my dream.

      I study it for seemingly a long time. I sense the presence of my family but I mainly focus on the rooms of this intriguing miniature house. I also study the outside of it, noting every detail.

      The main scene involves looking more closely at the back of the dollhouse as I turn it around, into the rooms on the second floor. There are three windows on the second floor of about the same size. I reach in through a window to turn a light on. The lights in all three rooms come on when I do this. I clearly feel (though cannot see from my position) the miniature light switch as a small bump that I push in the opposite orientation. It seems to be near the top of a flight of stairs.

      Eventually, I am aware of an unfamiliar black male to my left. Curiously, I do not see this stranger as an imposer in our home. He seems cheerful. I do not learn his name (or recall it if it was given). He talks a lot, but I cannot discern most of what he is saying. It borders on gibberish, but I do eventually understand some phrases. I know some of it relates to Leonard Bernstein and a certain supposedly rare record album of his.

      Looking through the middle window of the dollhouse, I see a small wooden box on the right, its shorter end adjacent to the window. Upon looking closer, I experience joy upon seeing what appear to be a number of copies of “Science Fiction Adventures” arranged vertically and facing the window. (Science Fiction Adventures was an American digest-size science fiction magazine, published from 1952 to 1954 by Science Fiction Publications.) Curiously, they seem to be of normal size (even though this would not be possible to resolve with a conscious viewpoint).

      I see the rare record of Leonard Bernstein that the male was talking about. It is in a room on the first floor in the back of the dollhouse, seen through the middle window. Even though it is miniature, it seems it will be of normal size when I give it to him. At this point though, it seems to be (or change into) a thick paperback book. However, he tells me to keep it, as I start to consider that he may be homeless and have no place to keep it or to read or “listen” to it. After trying to get him to accept my gift, he still seems cheerful but declines.

      • While an aquarium (not a feature of this dream but included here for contrast) is a real-time downsized model of the unconscious mind while sleeping, a dollhouse is a real-time downsized model of the conscious mind while sleeping. This is validated by my dream self turning on the three lights (with one switch) in the back of the dollhouse, which symbolizes activating the parietal lobe (somatic sensory association area). This is additionally validated by my augmented sense of touch upon feeling the miniature light switch at this point. Somatic senses are sometimes referred to as somesthetic senses, with the understanding that somesthesis includes the sense of touch, proprioception (sense of position and movement), and (depending on usage) haptic perception. The main difference between a dollhouse and an aquarium is that an aquarium is related more to induction, although typically, less water in an aquarium over time is a transmutation into waking symbolism.
      • The supposedly rare Leonard Bernstein record was on the first floor in back of the dollhouse, which would be analogous to the occipital lobe; visual cortex. (PGO waves are a feature of human REM sleep.)
      • Additionally, the “Science Fiction Adventures” magazines symbolizes imagination as potentially sourced from within the mind model (as critical thinking skills are only extant when awake).
      • This dream’s personified preconscious (the presumably homeless black male) follows the lifelong established rules of this dreaming component. There is no conflict as I have already activated the waking symbolism by turning on the lights (which symbolizes increasing neural activity in real time in the last stage of the waking transition, which also makes my dream more vivid).
      • As the lights in the front of the dollhouse on the left of the first floor are not on in most scenes, this may be analogous of the preconscious seemingly speaking gibberish for the most part. (Language processing has been linked to Broca’s area.)
      • The miniature light switch is near the top of the stairs (from the first floor); “the top of the stairs” being analogous to the emergent consciousness (a precursor to waking up), as in hundreds of other dreams I have decoded since childhood. (Scott suggests that consciousness “emerges” at the top of a hierarchically ordered nervous system. Scott compares the hierarchy of the nervous system to a flight of stairs or the rungs of a ladder. “Altered Egos: How the Brain Creates the Self”, page 126, sourced from “Stairway to the Mind” by Alwyn Scott.)
      • I might assume that the Leonard Bernstein record (though which may be a book in the last scene) is a facet of the transpersonal interconsciousness. The soundwave of a musical recording might be analogous to brainwaves. (By analogy, Leonard Bernstein is a conductor. Different neural activities will produce different brainwave patterns)
      • Here is an unexplainable surprise: The personified preconscious in this dream turned out to be of a precognitive thread (This is often the case, but I do not always include it in an online dream journal entry). This “same” black homeless male was across the street from our house later in the day after my dream. (Neither Zsuzsanna nor I approached him.) This is a very rare occurrence and I had never seen him before.

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