Mezzanine

The Dog With the Strange Butt

So I think I'm going door to door selling something. I'm at some sort or run down house and I don't see that anyone is home. I see this dog in the yard and he has a big problem with his butt! He's a bulldog and he's facing away from me but he's got his mouth hanging open and he's panting with his tongue hanging out. I get a little closer to him and see that his butt has a huge tear in it right underneath his tail. I can see through his body to the other side out of his mouth. Then a little girl comes to me and says that he needs some help. I figure this dog will die soon if he doesn't get to a vet!! The dog doesn't seem like he's in any pain, though. We go in the house to call a vet or something and the little girl's dad is home and says not to bother with the dog.

Working at Pier One?

I'm behind the cash wrap at some home furnishings / greenhouse-ish store. I'm trying to ring someone up on my register and it stops working. Maybe I ran out of register tape. Then the girl next to me is trying to ring up a guy who wants a Pepsi. Her register isn't working, either, and the manager (who is Sherise, my old manager from when I worked at Hollywood Video ten years ago) tells me to hurry to the fridge and grab another Pepsi!!! I told her I was already on my way, which I was, and then I get caught up in helping some people find a dresser they saw in one of our newspaper advertisements.

Hamsters!!!

This is a fragment... I don't know where I was, but there were like twenty, or twenty five hamsters. I am sitting on the floor with all these hamsters... and some of them have little outfits on!!! I'm worried that I haven't hamster proofed the house and that they will crawl under the baseboards and get lost in the walls.

Jurrasic Park Pond

I'm in the woods. I think I'm either chasing someone or being chased. I'm running down this really muddy trail. I get distracted by this pond on my left hand side. It's all mud up to the edge of this pond but the water itself is crystal clear. I'm barefoot. I dip one foot into the pond and when I pull it back out the part of my foot that was in the water is all green! Like just a dull mossy green... like that styrofoamy stuff that you put silk flower arrangements into.

I think that's just wrong, so I walk down the muddy trail some more and find another pond. I'm thinking this is just a forest full of these little ponds. I go up to this one and it's deeper and it seems like something's just off about it. For whatever reason, I just get all the way in. It's kind of like a pool because as soon as you walk to the edge of it, the mud just stops and it's deep, there's no way to just wade into it. I see a fence to my left and my sister's in a lawn chair sunbathing. She flips out when she realizes I'm in this pond and tries to get me out. I crawl up on the side of the fence and look over the fence to see these strange dinosaur-like animals. They're reptiles of some sort, brown and almost blending into the mud. It feels like they would kill me if they saw me, so I try to be really careful and get away from the fence.

I think I woke up and then went back to sleep so I could finish out this dream. Next thing I know, I'm at my parents' house and my sister is trying to explain to them where we just were and my parents don't care, in fact, they make her give them like $100 and tell her to leave. Somehow I have one of the creatures in a plastic grocery bag and I take it to the driveway where there are fires going all in the backyard and I set the bag down in a fire to kill whatever's in the bag.

This was my most bizarre dream in a long while... other than the killer bugs and the army scavenger hunt.

OMG Last night was loooooong. Well... I *did* sleep for fourteen hours.

First... I was in church. I had something to confess apparently.

Babe's

Next thing I know, I'm at the local lesbian bar, which I haven't been to in a year. Audrey was working there again, even though I haven't seen her in about six months, either, and she now works at Richbrau. I was sitting at a table and I asked Andrea what she wanted and she said nothing and I asked Jen what she wanted and she said to get her some fries. I go to the bar and ask Audrey for some fries and she has them all ready for me... sort of... she hands me like a flat wire basket that was separated into different sections that was only about half-full of french fries. I didn't question it and she was really happy to give me what I asked for. So I brought them back to the table, but Jen and Andrea were already paying their tabs. I noticed that Andrea's tab was for 2 Chai Lattes and was $6. I don't recall her ever drinking them.

College Campus Sorority Girls

Now I'm walking around a school campus. It was kind of a mix between ODU and William and Mary. There were sidewalks winding through some nice trees and there were students hanging out in little groups and I noticed a really cool looking tree with a pink boombox in its branches. I walked past it but was kind of confused as to why that was there. I was on my way to class when this girl called my name and asked me to come meet someone. It turns out that she was rushing my sorority and we turned her down. She introduced me to some other girl and then all of a sudden there was another group of girls next to us and both groups of girls started doing some sorority song or cheer or something. The girl that called me over and all the other girls in the group I was standing in shouted, "Alpha Phi Omega Pi!!!!" And there is no sorority in existence that had four greek letters. In my dream this didn't bother me. So I excused myself and said I had to get to class. This girl followed me and I get into this house where my class was supposed to be. We were in a stairway and she was behind me and I turned to her and I asked her if she wanted to know why we didn't pick her to pledge our sorority. She just kind of looked interested. I said, "It's because you're too sweet. This sorority is filled with badass bitches. We just didn't think it was a good fit." And she said, "that's why I rushed. I thought I could balance it out." She asked for my phone number so we could hang out anyway and she started to write it on her hand. The pen stopped working and she asked me for the last two numbers like four times. She finally got to write it down.

Room 524

I walked up the stairs to find that the door to the class was open and there was a teacher's desk and a fourposter bed and desks that students were sitting in. There were a lot of people in the hallway, mostly girls who were wearing different greek letters. We were all waiting for this class to end so we could go in. Then the teacher yelled out into the hallway that we could come in and pick up our tests. I was confused because I thought this was the first day of class. Someone told me that they didn't think I could start in the middle of the semester. I looked at the number above the door and I knew I was supposed to be in room 524 which is where I was.

I left the room and walked down the hallway and saw Todd P. walking into another room. I followed him in and said, "Todd, is that you?" He turned around and gave me a big hug and at the same time we both said, "I haven't seen you in forever!!" I asked him how his mom was doing and he said, "she's fine, and my dad is celebrating two years of I don't know what. Everyone can come over and sell their pot." Which I found interesting. Then in the room on a tv there was a video playing of a weiner dog in a slinky.

House Fire and Flood

Next thing I know I'm at my parents house. I'm in the kitchen and I walk into the living room to find that Andrea's couch is there now and the end of it is facing the fireplace and the other couch is against the wall. How everything fit in there and I still had room to walk was amazing. I look at her couch and behind it I notice that some stuff from the fireplace had jumped out and was now burning her couch!! I ran to the kitchen to get some water to put in a glass to put the fire out. The fire was burning along the hearth on the carpet and it was also underneath the couch. I could see it glowing through the couch cushions. So I kept going back and forth from the kitchen to the living room with glasses of water trying to put out the fire. Then my mom and dad come downstairs and I'm freaking out telling them the house is on fire!! They sit on the couch like it's no big deal. I asked my mom to help me and asked my dad if he called 911 yet. He said no so I grabbed the phone and walked past him to go to my room upstairs. On the way past him I whacked him in the face with a newspaper and said, "That's what you get for leaving the fire going and going to bed!!" So I went to my room to call 911 and find out that it's my sister taking the call. I look out my bedroom window to see that next door we now have apartment buildings. And everything is flooded up to the second level of them. I looked out the other window and at the entrance to the neighborhood is all this construction. And big tour busses and ambulances are flying out of the neighborhood ignoring the stop signs. I was concerned that they were going to cause an accident and also that with all this going on, how could the firetrucks get in??

Next thing I know, I'm outside in the flood. Forget about my parents inside, they probably drowned anyway. There are lots of school busses outside underwater with kids in them. I'm underwater now trying to swim to the surface. I get to the surface and I'm on top of a school bus that is now on its side floating in the water and I can see all the kids inside. I walk to the front where the driver is and then the bus lifts out of the water and is flying now. It is a helicopter-bus and I'm hanging on the the driver's window yelling inside that "you better not drop me!!" because if I fall I will fall through the helicopter's propellers. I fell off the bus and woke up and immediately wrote all this down so I'd remember. This was the first time that I didn't just try to remember in the morning when I woke up. This was at about 430am.

Gerbil Theater

Now I'm in a theater and there's a stage production going on. It looks pretty boring, so I turn to leave. On my way out I see Stephanie so I walk back inside with her and have a seat. In my shirt I have smuggled in a hamster. I take him out to show Stephanie and then they guys nest to us take out their puppy. And to the right of us down the row someone has a rabbit and someone else has another animal further down the row. I glance up at the stage and it's now a movie. There are gerbils in a fire. There's just like a boyscout fire pit with tree branches and rocks around the outside to contain it. These gerbils are in the fire and it is not burning them. So this rabbit comes over to my seat and the girl down the row asks for him back so I go to pass the rabbit to her and the rabbit goes between the seats and comes out the other side. I take my hamster and leave the theater.

Now I don't have my hamster anymore, I have a puppy. I'm walking the puppy in a courtyard and it's really nice weather outside. Andrea's with me. We encounter this lady walking her dog around a corner. The leashes get tangled up and when we untangle them, she asks Andrea what she should use to straighten her hair. Typical. Andrea knows everything about all the beauty products. The puppy gets away and I chase after him. He ends up in an elevator so I dive into the elevator before the doors can close and scoop the puppy up into my arms. I'm trying to remember what floor I was on so I can get back to Andrea.

I also recall my dad being really mad at me for something and he slapped me. Oh yeah... I was at the mailbox mailing some packages and the mail lady came by and said that one of them had to go UPS. I looked on the side of the box and sure enough it said UPPS, not USPS. So I went in and told my dad and he got mad and slapped me. That bastard.

I'm starting a little experiment. For a week starting last night, I'm going to take a Flintstones multi-vitamin and a melatonin before bed to see how it affects my dream recall and the vividness of my dreams. Last night I had four dreams that I remember.

First: Tom Cruise on a snowmobile. It's like I was watching a movie. It's an aerial shot of him on a snowmobile and he's like racing other people. Weaving in and out of other people on snowmobiles. Then he's done snowmobiling and he's in a sporting goods shop. He's getting something to cover his head like a person who handles bees would wear... even though he's already wearing a hat like Cousin Eddie from Christmas Vacation when they're going sledding (you know, the black leather one with the flaps to cover your ears!). Then, he's out by a river watching this guy wearing camo fishing or hunting or something and he's got a document all drawn up by a lawyer and he's trying to convince this hunter/fisher guy that he needs to join him on his quest to stop all the forest animals from pooping. If he signs this document then he will be famous when they finally accomplish this task. Tom Cruise is getting closer and closer and in this guy's face and then the guy wants to make out with him, kind of like the scene from American Beauty when the next door neighbor is trying to kiss Kevin Spacey. And Tom Cruise is all like, woah, you've got the wrong idea.

Second: I'm at a lake watching some kids play with their dog who is like kind of walking on top of the water, either that of it's just really shallow. Then, I'm looking for my hamster and one of the kids says he's swimming across the lake!!! So I see way far away this little hamster swimming across the lake! It looks like this lake has no end, but on the part close to me, like all around the right side of my field of vision is beach. I know it's a lake and not the ocean because the water is so calm and clear. So I start freaking out about my hamster and I go to save him. I swim out to where he is and bring him back to the beachy shore. And I have him in my hand and I'm yelling at him that he can't do that, he's just a hamster and I turn away and when I turn back he's turned into a little boy and he's all embarrassed that I was calling him out on being a hamster. Ha! Like I revealed his big secret or something.

Third: I'm at the school bookstore looking for a shirt to wear to the gym (probably because I didn't get to go yesterday because I left my shirt at home). I have a shopping cart and I'm with someone else who has a shopping cart. I was looking at the clearance rack and there's nothing but ugly Christmas sweatshirts and shirts with sailboats on them. I had left my shopping cart with my friend who was in line. I turned around and she was gone and our shopping carts were moved out of the line and there were now tons of people in line. I went to grab my shopping cart and I couldn't find my friend and this other girl isn't looking where she's going and runs her shopping cart right into mine. I remember then just turning around to continue looking at some shorts and thinking, "are these longer or shorter than the ones I have now?" But then I turned them around to look a the back and they said VCU on the butt, and I thought, I'm so not *that* girl, and I put them back on the rack.

Last, but not least: Last night before going to bed, A and I watched this weirdness on youtube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cqi5F5MqqTQ. So I had this dream that I needed this particular sword to kill this particular enemy like in a video game or I could not vanquish this particular foe. So I went to kill someone else to get this sword. Then someone tells me that I have to go through this mirror in order to get to this person who has this sword that I need. (That part was kind of hazy and I'm sure there's a lot more to it that I can't remember because I was really focusing on this next part.) So I go through this mirror and I walk down this hallway to the last door on the left. I open it up and it's kind of like an auditorium and there are all these blue plastic seats like in a gymnasium, you know, the ones that fold up and you can push them into the wall to save space on the gym floor when there's not a game going on... and there are people everywhere sitting in some of the seats and some are standing... well, each of the seats is labeled differently along the right hand side of the seat. I didn't even look at what they all said, just this one said "sex" and I thought, that's the one for me! So I sat in it and the next thing I know, I had sunken into it and flipped over into another dimension (as if going through the mirror wasn't enough!). It's the same auditorium but with different people in it. I'm in my seat and everything is mirrored, like I was on the right hand side of the room, now I'm on the left. I see all the guys are wearing sweatpants and most of them have very obvious erections. Then, this really cute blond girl sits next to me. She's wearing short blue gym shorts and a white tee shirt. She takes my hand and puts it on her thigh. I immediately have the feeling that I need to have sex with her. So I ask her if there's anywhere more private we can go. She stands up, takes my hand, and tells me to follow her. So I do and she dives between two of the seats across from us and I dive right in after her. We're in a dark room and one thing leads to another... So next thing I know, I've got to get out of there. I find a like a bathroom mirror and try to crawl up into it. Then, I vaguely remember some girl getting beat up and it's her fault no one can get out.

Bizarre, bizarre, bizarre!!!!