Mezzanine

11/15/2009

Slots with Chris Tucker

So, let's start from as far back as I can remember. I'm in a department store. There is a sale and there are tons of people in the store, but the only thing anyone is looking at is jeans. But they're really horrible jeans. Old, stone wash, like 80's hair band jeans. And everyone is trying them on in the middle of the store instead of going into fitting rooms. And none of the jeans fit anybody! They're all way too tight, but everyone thinks they look so good in them. I think about telling everyone they look stupid but think better of it.

I leave the department store and walk out into the mall. I suddenly realize there is a casino in the mall and head for it at full speed. I head left and see the fountain in the middle of the mall. I'm on the second floor and I see the escalators. I go down the one escalator and at the bottom almost run into a wall. I've got to make an immediate u-turn and go right back up another escalator. I remember thinking this is a most ineffective way to get to the first floor.

After I get off the escalator I walk to the left again and see some slot machines. On the end of a row of machines is Bill Murray. He's walking away and has left the machine running with some money in it. I go to his machine and discover that it's a penny machine. Instead of putting money in it, you have to put tickets in it like the kind you get from winning skee-ball. Bill Murray has left a big line of tickets so I run it into the machine. A slot attendant comes by and looks at me funny because the machine is rejecting some of the tickets, and I tell him they were left here and they aren't mine.

So I sit down and finally just start hitting the max bet button over and over again mindlessly. Then some kids walk up and want to see what I'm doing. They have pizza, so we're now having like a pizza party at my slot machine. I look down and it's not like a touch screen like slot machines usually are, but it's not an old school reel slot either. It's strange because I know it's a slot machine, but I've never seen one like this before. It's just like a plastic surface with lights embedded in it that light up and make numbers appear in a bunch of different colors. There's no real rhyme or reason to how you make winning combinations. So while trying to figure this out, a female slot attendant comes up to me and hands me $200 in one dollar bills. I keep playing.

The next thing I know, the kids and the pizza party are gone, but they left behind all the empty pizza boxes. Now there's a guy with his face right next to mine and he's got a cell phone to his other ear talking to someone. I don't even look to see who it is and I ask him to please take his nonsense elsewhere. (!) He starts to walk away and says I'll regret that and then I realize it's Chris Tucker! I scramble to tell him, no no, he can stay if he wants, my girlfriend loved him in the Fifth Element and would want his autograph. He says "we'll see" and walks away.

After a while, he comes back and says he's changed his mind and would love to hang out, where do I live, and what's my number, so he can put it into his cell phone. I tell him I live in Richmond and he says, "no shit, I live like seven minutes away from there!" Then Andrea walks up and I cash out of my slot machine and we walk towards the cashier. Suddenly everything is in slow motion as I see that behind the cashier is the biggest stockpile of fireworks I've ever seen. I'm taking very slow steps at this point and I finally make it to the cashier and ask her if I can cash out in fireworks. She says "of course" and I turn around and ask Andrea if she'd like to pick some out. She says, "you know I don't care about that shit!" and then I turn back around to the cashier and wake up.

11/10/2009

Shoe Conveyor Belt

I'm at the mall, shopping with Andrea, and she's mad at me. I have no idea why. We go down an escalator and there is a conveyor belt enclosed in glass for a window display. On it are single shoes that are glued to the conveyor belt just slowly going around and around. The next thing I know, I'm trying to put a comforter cover back into the clear plastic bag it came in, except it's like a puzzle. Like, I have to fold it a certain way and cram it into the bag and then the zipper goes around all these weird twists and turns to close the bag.

Spanish Lesson

After being in the mall, the mall morphs into like a resort hotel. I know I'm on vacation. Then a group of teenagers comes up to me and tells me that I have to help someone with their Spanish lesson. So we all go to the library and I'm helping this girl with some Spanish homework. The rest of the group are sitting in chairs around us. I remember saying things like "boligrafo" and holding up a pen, then "lapiz" and holding up a pencil. Then I explained that I don't like writing in pencil so much.

11/02/2009

Some Lucids

I have been really busy in the past couple of weeks, but I've been lucid three times! Not for very long, but it still counts for me!

I was in a mall in a store and I walked up a flight of stairs. At the top of the stairs was a baby gate or a pet gate. It was hard for me to get over because I'm short and I didn't want to knock it down. Then out of nowhere I just said to myself... don't go over it, just go through it. I closed my eyes and when I opened them I was on the other side. I was totally amazed and lost lucidity.

I was in a middle school. I know it was a middle school because of the ages of all the kids. I said to myself, I'm not in middle school and became lucid. I remembered the task of the month subconsciously and walked up to one boy sitting at a lunch table and tried to kiss him. He got all freaked out and ducked away from me and ran away. Then I realized that I might lose lucidity, so I started patting myself down which is something I've never done while lucid... but it didn't work and I lost it. (Maybe next time I'll just rub my hands together!)

Last night I dreamed I was in high school, which I know I'm not, so I gained lucidity and looked around a bit at all the people in my class. Then I saw my friend Kelly K. who also happens to be my apartment manager. When I turned and saw her, I also saw someone coming up from the back of the room with a big birthday cake (my birthday was Friday) and when they walked up to my desk it said Happy Sweet 16 (I just turned 29). I think I lost lucidity at that point because I don't remember much else.

Seems to me like lucidity is coming more frequently, I just have to learn how to hold onto it for longer!!!

Underprivileged Kids Camp

I'm at some event. Like I'm in a hotel and there are all these other people there I guess training to be camp counselors. All the hotel rooms are enclosed in glass instead of walls so you can see everything that's going on in the rooms. I've lost the person I came there with. I'm looking all over the hotel for them. I walk to the end of this hallway and there's some people on a couch and I recognize one is this girl Beth who I was seeing briefly before I got together with Andrea. I think nothing of it really and I go peek my head into the room at the end of the hall. Inside this room are four people playing video games. One is my ex Missy! I ask them if they saw whoever I was looking for and they said no so I left and kept looking. I saw Beth get up off the couch and go into the room I was just in.

Slot Machine Hunting

I leave the hotel with the camp counselor training and now I'm in a casino. I've got a device that is pointing out where the loose slot machines are. Funny, it seems like I'm in a computer lab from school because of the way the machines are set up. Every machine that my device pointed out (it was a little electronic circle that beeped louder and faster when it detected a good slot machine) had someone sitting at it already. So I just hung around and waited for someone to get off their machine. Finally this one girl walks away and I notice that the machine still had nine dollars left in it. I barely sit down and the girl comes back saying she had just gotten up to get a drink. So I get up and apologize and she gives me some money. It's foreign.

I walk around and try to find a place to exchange this money for American money. I walk up to the cashier and tell him of my dilemma. He has behind him a big board telling the exchange rates of different countries' money. I don't know what country my money is from, so I just hand it to him. He says he can't exchange this money because it's from a communist country. I'm sort of upset and he says just kidding. He looks at my money a little more closely and tells me that it's worth $1500. I think, well, I'm only going to be here for two days, why not give me half of that and I'll keep the rest here in the bank. So he gives me some paperwork to fill out with a fancy pen that writes in purple glitter. I had it back to him and he gives me the money.

Next thing I know I'm with my mom, dad, and sister and we're on the way into the casino and I think we have to cross the casino floor to get to the parking garage. I'm telling them I'm going to get the car. In order to get into the casino, they're doing some sort of security check and you have to take your shoes off and they give you slipper boots instead. Like Isotoners. I'm arguing with the security woman and some lady breaks through the line and she looks like she's insane. She's just running back and forth trying to get out of the casino and she can't figure out how to go out the bank of glass doors. The security lady tries to stop her and when the woman runs back my way I try to tackle her. I end up not getting the slippers and I walk toward the man in the cashier booth.

Lucid Casino #2

I approach the cashier desk. Behind the counter are two men and a huge vault that requires both of them to open it. One of the men is wearing a white button up dress shirt and boxers but no pants. Once the doors are open money starts pouring out of it, but it's like huge coins the size of frisbees. They're not making any clanking noises as they're spilling out onto the floor. I realize that because of this, I must be dreaming. I hop over the counter and confront the guy in the boxers. I realize that he's just a dream character and I can do whatever I want. I must have been feeling particularly naughty so I tried to grab his package and realized it was abnormally small. I felt bad for him and went over to the other guy. I think I went inside the vault and there were packages of baseball cards all over the place. I was mentioning something about how I used to collect baseball cards and then I look at the guy and realize he looks like Anthony Edwards from ER. I asked him if he wanted to put his hand in my pants and he said yes. Right as he was going to, I felt myself slipping out of the dream and I woke up.

Spiderman @ the Mall

I fell back asleep and had another lucid dream! I'd never had more than one in a night! I have a hard time remembering how this started, but I was in a mall, and I remember something about Spiderman being there. Like visually I remember him, but not in what context. So I get the idea that I can jump all around from floor to floor in the mall. I remember thinking, "wow, this is what my subconscious thinks a mall looks like." I'm performing some crazy acrobatics and gravity defying maneuvers. I was looking over the railing from the second floor and I just hung over the edge and my feet slipped and I was falling, but I made invisible wires come out of nowhere to anchor me to the ceiling so I wouldn't hit the ground. I remember a big Christmas display. Then I was jumping through what looked like a Halloween display. I think this was my longest lucid so far.

Porn Store Klepto

I really wish I could remember what this one was about. I think it had something to do with stealing sunglasses.

Night of 2/5/09

Breaking into Victoria's Secret

I wish I could remember how this started. I was just so stunned when I woke up from this that I could only focus on the end.

I'm in Victoria's Secret at a mall. I think I was shopping for something, but I'm wearing my new pajamas (that I just bought from Victoria's Secret yesterday!!). I look at the door and it's two glass doors that are closed and locked. A mall security guard comes up and opens the doors and comes in. He doesn't see me, so I sit down in a chair and pretend I'm asleep. Or a mannequin. I don't know which. I think my eyes are open though, so I see what was going on. The security guard comes in with a guy and a girl and they're both wearing dangly earrings.

Next thing I know, I'm being interrogated by the security guard and the guy with the earrings on and now he's only got one earring in. The security guard asks me how I got in there and I said, "I don't know, I'm dreaming, I must have dreamed myself in here!!" (Makes perfect sense, right? Like I knew VS was a real place and I could really be in there, but not after it was closed. I'm stuck with not knowing whether this counts as lucid or not.)

I go on to explain that, "All I know is that this guy was looking for his earring and he had two before and only one now. Then you start interrogating me about how I got in here." I was so confident in my answers. I'm amazed that this happened in my dream... that I told someone I was dreaming.

Michael Cera at Toys 'R' Us

I'm at a toy store riding a BMX bike around. I ride around until I find that there's an event going on. My boss comes up to me and asks me to introduce the pro bike riders who are doing a demonstration. I get off my bike and grab a microphone and there are bleachers and people sitting everywhere. There are a couple of pro bike riders going up ramps and doing tricks. I walk down into an area that's kind of like a big box. There are no ramps, just walls. It's a special area where the bikers can go straight up a wall without a ramp or anything. I'm not even saying anything into this microphone, I'm just watching. One biker rides into the wall, goes up it and launches into the air. He does a flip and it looks like he's going to land on his side, but as he lands, he lands on a peg on the back wheel and just spins around parallel to the ground.

I leave this area and walk around looking at the crowd now like I'm security. A few other employees and I are talking when we see a biker, who is now on a motorcycle, crash into a little girl who is walking with her mom and little sister!! I run to the store manager, who can't be bothered about this, and she tells me to go find Jeff. I find Jeff and I'm yelling his name cuz he's in the area where the demonstration is and it's hard to hear because the crowd is cheering so loud. So I grab him and bring him to where the accident is. As I'm walking there, I accidentally step on the little sister's hand because she was crouched down with her mom checking on the girl that just got crashed into. She freaks out and screams, "I'm going to need an x-ray!!!!" And starts crying. SO I walk away.

I go down the aisles and I see people in brown uniforms putting stuff on the shelves. I figure it's the overnight crew. There are some Oakley sunglasses in a box by the baseball bats, so I grab a pair and put them on. They're like fake plastic little kid sunglasses. I should have known. I push them up onto my head. I see some employees by the cash registers talking and walk up to them. At one of the check out aisles, I see little tubes of M&M's and have a moment of clarity and realize I'm dreaming, but it fades as soon as I grab one of the tubes of M&M's and open it and pour some into my hand. I turn around and one of the employees is Michael Cera from the movie Superbad. I look a him and ask him point blank in front of everyone else if he would like a blow job. He looks so surprised. So I grab him by the hand and lead him to the restrooms. We go into the handicapped stall and he unzips his pants. He looks down and seems embarrassed because his penis is so small. I turn around and see that there's a mirror on the wall. I look in the mirror and see Michael behind me and now he has a penis growing out of the front of his neck. It is the worst penis I have ever seen. It has like polyps all over it and is bumpy and just bad.

Next thing I know, Michael and I are in the parking lot outside and I'm telling him I just couldn't do it, and I'm sorry, but I think he has an STD. He says, "STD stands for Southern Texas Defense!! I don't have that!!!"

Wow.

Night of 1/17/09

Stealing Tips

I'm walking around in a lunch line, but it's like in a strange mall food court. Like there were places to eat and they were all set up like this... instead of going up to the counter, you go into like a store and it's set up in a circle: you enter, go around and pick out what you want to eat and at each station there are cashiers. Each cashier had a tip jar on top of their register. I saw a kid in line ahead of me and he was taking tips and no one was noticing or saying anything to him... so I took a dollar from someone's tip jar and stuck it in my pocket. Then a security guard comes up to me and asked if I took anything!!! And I said no and got the dollar out of my pocket and dropped it on the ground. I told the security guard that the guy he's looking for is ahead of me in line and as I'm saying this, the guy runs out of the line and out the door to the "store." I run after him and tackle him. I don't know what my motivation was for doing this. ha!

Fishing

This is just a fragment, maybe it was a whole dream that really just wasn't that interesting. I'm in a shallow lake in a boat and I'm fishing... the top of the lake is covered in grass clippings.

Christine's Messy House

Somehow I end up at my friend Christine's house, who I haven't talked to since her little brother died in a car accident two years ago. This isn't her real house. But I know she's a pretty messy person, so it didn't surprise me that her house was a total wreck. The thing that stuck out the most was that there was a flat screen tv in the living room that took up the entire wall. I wish I would have written this down sooner because there was a lot more to it that I just can't remember.