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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 15 Sep: At an event, then try to lucid teleport, end up fighting monsters in The Backrooms

      by , 09-15-2022 at 05:30 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Visiting the location of some teachings I am attending, I am amazed by the architecture and decor of the place, the temple, the gardens. I am helping out and looking for a mop to clean something when I stumble across Em. She takes me to her own apartment to get me a mop and says she is also tidying it up. And it really needs, it looks like a hoarder's house. She claims it's her mother who likes to have stuff covering every surface. I find that odd, from what I know about her, but say it's the same with me and my mom, except we don't want to, it just happens. Our teacher is on-site and welcoming small groups for personalized conversations and teachings in a large reception hall. He is receiving a group which I join in by mistake and they are talking about Jesus and calling themselves a church, it all sounds satirical yet they are truly commited to the part. I have no clue what they are up to, but not my business, so I leave. I am then invited to join a larger group who is having some kind of reception with food and drinks. We sit at a large U shaped table that goes around a U shaped corridor. Food starts being served and I ask if this is dinner, they say no and then I reply we will be full and not need dinner later. I meet some nice people and one guy is recording snips and bits of the event and makes a short clip with me, which distracts me for like 10 minutes, enough for all the food to disappear. They suggest I go directly to the kitchen and ask for more, but the only tray they still have is taken to another group and there is nothing left. I realize I am so hungry and can't wait until the next meal. I almost have a meltdown because of it.
      Some guy and girl invite me to go out and look for some café or other place to eat and I join them. The location feels like some European city with modern buildings. I feel Berlin vibes but it actually looks more like London. We are at some terraced passageway and then we need to go down some stairs to reach the main street where there is the subway and they are asking me where I am staying and where would be more convenient to go and I have no idea. They ask east or west and I mention vaguely an area but my mind is blurry. Then for some reason I decide to not go with them anymore and we separate. I then spot two ginger cats sleeping in the street, their backs against a wall, and I approach to see if they're ok. Apparently so and anyway I can't take them with me, so I leave them be.
      Then it gets blurry again but I am with a group of 2-3 people in a room and they aren't friendly to me and are menacing somehow, so I leave and try to lock the door behind me. I can't, so I start zigzagging through rooms and realize I am in some kind of the Backrooms, as each room has 3-4 doors only leading to another room and so on. Some are empty, some look like normal rooms in a home
      . I start becoming lucid and think of what to do next. Not sure, have no plan, but I spot a door that opens to an absolute pitch darkness and I decide to jump through it as a portal and see where I land. Doesn't go as planned. I just enter a darker and most dangerous area of the Backrooms, filled with monsters. First I stumble from room to room in the darkness, finding some hints of a faded light here and there showing a door or some furniture against a wall. Then I came across the first monster. It looks a bit like Venom, shiny black slim body and a big head with sharp teeth. He just appears out of nowhere and falls on me. I just have time to grab his head away from mine and we fight on the floor. I try several hooks to keep him imobilized as I try to find a weakness to hurt him. Eventually I manage to grab some object and slam it into his head, but it takes a lot of times to knock him down and he bits me a couple times. Then I continue wandering and encounter a metal staircase leading to upper or lower levels. I go up and enter a level that has victorian decor in the hallways and beautiful colored bead curtains hanging over many doors. As soon as I cross one such doors and it makes a distinct sound of beads against each other, some woman with a kid appears running and yelling that I just attracted the creature. The creature is a hollow blue mesh figure, a bit like the other slender figure before, but more hunched and walking on four limbs. The front limbs a bit longer than the back limbs. And the head is very thin, basically a neck ending in a jaw. I don't even know how this creature can hurt, because it looks so frail, but it is scary nonetheless. We run upwards but all the next floors are still in the same style with the same damn curtains. Eventually I enter one such floor any way and allow the creature to follow me throughout the rooms. I then face it and grab its head to find it is indeed frail. I rip apart the head mesh as if it is cardboard and that is it. Then I think I see the kid again, can't tell if he is the same, but must be. I call him closer, I don't see his mother around. He stares at me, doesn't move or say a word. Then he gets closer and I noticed he has a snake like tongue and he is actually preparing to attack me. He is just another monster. He tries to snatch me with his tongue and I just have time to jump to the side and escape him. Turns out the woman was walking on the ceiling like a spider and also throwing her tongue to catch me at the same time. Instead both their tongues get entangled and when she pulls her tongue in she swallows the kid whole. I run away again through rooms and rooms, until I find a new level which looks more like the real world. I hear human voices, but not knowing what it is I hide in a room which looks almost normal, with a bed and sheets and even some light coming from some kind of window. I hide under the bed when I hear the voices approaching. It is two guys and they close the door behind them, looking scared and looking for something to block it. They seem human, so I decide to reveal myself. I don't want to startle them, so I whisper to get their attention. They are still spooked at first, suspicious of me, but they end up trusting I am also human. They say they were being chased by some being who looked like a giant leprechaun with two heads. And either he has two faces on the main head or he can send one of the faces down a tentacle-like arm and generate a second head at the end of his arm. The creature arrives at our door and starts pouncing on it heavily. I help them hold it up, but we know he will eventually break it, so I look around for something again that I can use as a weapon. There is some sharp metal thingy from the bed frame and I grab it. The monster finally blasts the door open and throws us down on the ground, but he doesn't come in right away, instead he peaks with his tentacle head first and I stab it with the sharp metal. The creature leaves in agonizing pain, but I still get to see its whole body and main head and it really looks like a leprechaun with a beard and some dusty brown clothing and a semblance of a hat.
    2. 11 Sep: Spotting my teacher in some exotic place

      by , 09-11-2022 at 05:42 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With my mom doing tourism somewhere exotic. We just had some snacks at a cafeteria in what seems like a bazar. Then I am drawn to this sort of temple and realize there is a buddhist event inside and I spot my teacher in there. He is coming down from the stage and giving his place to some other lama. Me and mom are at some lateral door when my teacher walks down an isle, perpendicular to us and I think he sees me by the corner of his eyes. I fold my hands on my chest. I notice I am wearing a long white embroidered dress. Then I leave with my mom, trying to figure out where my teacher is going, but I am nt walking anymore, instead I am levitating above my mom as she walks below.
    3. 18 Aug: Attending teachings and my clothes go down the drain

      by , 08-18-2022 at 07:43 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending my guru's teachings in some resort somewhere. The architecture of the place kinda reminds me parts of Greece or Turkey, with white buildings in rammed earth. I am taken to my dorm, which is a really bizarre very narrow room with shelves sticking out of the wall that are supposed to be sort of bunk beds, but with no stairs to climb up and no guard rails to prevent falling during sleep. Besides that, they are really high up, some are like 2 or 3 meters high and I wonder how people get up there, or how they come down if they need to pee at night. The only way is using someone else's bed as steps to go up and down.
      I then go back out to check the registration table for the event and it is a bit chaotic with people arriving and making a lot of noise. I spot my teacher arriving. I look absolutely exhausted and don't want him to see my face so I kind pull my hair to cover my face. I think he spots me anyway and he looks puzzled with my hairdo. I look like a mix of a sexy mysterious gal and a crazy lunatic lady.
      I return to my dorm to refresh and change clothing, so I take my travel bag to the bathroom with me. As I prepare to shower, I retrieve my hygiene products from my bag, but I hold it in the air over the toilet, which has no lid, and the unthinkable happens: my bag is open and all my clothes fall into the toilet. For some reason they don't just stay there, the water is running a little bit, so the clothes are sucked into the pipes. In despair I try to retrieve them, and I need to get deeper and deeper into the toilet bowl until I get my last clothing item from inside the drainage pipe, my whole arm inside it. I feel disgusted and completely defeated that I have nothing to wear that didn't fell inside the toilet.
    4. 16 Aug: Robbing the rich and reflecting my guru on the mirror

      by , 08-16-2022 at 04:52 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Working as a maid at the mansion of some filthy rich dudes. Some alarm goes off and they go around looking for something suspicious, but no one can't find any intruder. But I spot him. He is dressed as the help and considering this is a huge palace with dozens of employees, no one pays attention or noticed he is not one of us. But I see him robbing silver and gold stuff, sneaking from one room to another. I follow him into an office and he realizes that I've figured it out. But he doesn't feel intimidated, he notices I am not yelling to denounce him. He just nods his head like saying "Go ahead, serve yourself of some to." and I do! I rob a bunch of gold necklaces and other jewels, wrapping them in table cloths and right under the nose of the bosses, hide them in my pockets. I then follow the other guy trhough a window to the garden and we leave.

      Looking at a mirror and instead of my face, I see my guru reflected on it. And he looks pretty aware that I am seeing him. Then it gets weirder and I have trouble explaining it in a 3 dimensional way, but it is like he is also holding another mirror in front of him and his reflection is me. And we are both aware that I see myself as him and he sees himself as me, but not straight up like a mirror image and more like a mirror within a mirror thing. Then I am suddenly not myself and I am some tibetan lady in the past with an intricate hairdo with really long braids with beads and other decorations. While I admire the intricacy of it, someone comes in the room and refers to me as princess.
    5. 13 Jul: My teacher hands me a book

      by , 07-13-2022 at 09:33 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      In a crowd gathered for some teachings. I see my teacher at a distance. He gets up with a book on his hand and calls my name, says it is for me. I get up and raise my hand. We walk towards each other and I feel awkward because I wanna hug him and I just can't. He says something like congratulations for winning that prize and everyone wonders what was the contest and when. I bow down with my hands folded and I receive the book while trying desperately to touch his hands briefly. We look at each other cumplicitly. After that he goes back to his seat and proceeds talking and I try to get a place closer to him better. Strangely a lot of people just get up and leave so I have lots of free space now in the front.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    6. 5 Jul: Warrior fighting alien monsters and a hero who saves kids from a murderer

      by , 07-05-2022 at 11:54 AM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I am a warrior, maybe a samurai. I am protecting a large group of inahbitants in the mountains. My guru is among them. There is a big eruption in the mountain and the ground is oepning up and lava flowing out of it and everyone running in all directions. I manage to escape and lead many away with me and to the safety of some caves in another mountain past a bridge. Then, some sort of alien monster attacks me, the size of an elephant with tentacles. But I find a weapon that also seems alien to me, quite big, like a staph with a large bulb on top which shoot lasers and I manage to kill the monster with it. The villagers gather around for some decision making in a safe room around a table. I see my guru there and I still crave for his kind words and attention. I am expecting something from him, but he doesn't address me. I decide to stay humbly in my position by the door and guard people. But at some point I feel like I need to leave for good. I have done my job and need to find my peace of mind again, away from everything. So I announce I will be going back home, for which I need to cross again a dangerous path through the land of other monsters. They try to change my mind, but I feel too hurt to stay. As I cross the bridge separating the mountains, I see spectres approaching and I find out I have achieved super speed like Flash and can move away from them without them ever posing a threat. I call the guru from afar, hoping he too has the same powers and can meet me later wherever I am.

      I am staying at some kind of posh old hostel, maybe in the 30s. It is early morning and I am starving, so I go get a snack from the cafeteria. The lady serving the food says I must eat and pay for the proper breakfast but I explain I just need some sugar as I feel lightheaded and will come back later for the breakfast, so she agrees to hand me some snack. Then I am planning to take a shower and look for the bathrooms on my floor. Realize I am wearing a transparent baby doll and not exactly adequately dressed to go around the corridor, so I find a ladies toilet and go inside looking for a towel to wrap myself on. Find a strange looking mirror on the wall. Almost got lucid when wondering why there is no reflection of my image on the mirror, only to find out it is actually a door with a window covered in paper on the other side. I feel like any pervert could open a hole or lift a corner of the paper and look inside and that is stupid. As I think that, a guy peaks in from the next compartment and I get pissed. I go outside, open the door of the next compartment where he his and I punch his face. But wonder who the idiot was that put the paper on the side of the men's toilet and not on the ladies'.
      Some other girl comes rushing to defend him. She is his lover or something and won't believe that he was peaking. Accuses me of teasing men by being half naked on the hallways. I decide to leave and get dressed. Then I get lost in a corridor that connects to an abandoned area of the building. I go down some stairs and find a basement full of trash. I remove some stuff blocking a door and I find 4 or 5 kids with terror in their eyes. But they are not really kids, but living and moving cloth and yarn dolls of animals and other strange characters. But I consider them as kids. They don't talk, but I know what they feel and think. They've been kidnapped and are afraid their kidnapper will come back soon. I bring them with me. Meanwhile their kidnappper comes back and she is some woman wanted for murder. People thought she had died, but she has been hiding in here all that time. She sees me, she blocks my exit and I need to find a new exit. I am carrying the kids against my chest, as they are actually dolls. I find a window at the street level and I break and jump through it. She chases me. I run to a bar or casino whose owner is by the door. He ows me a favor, so I tell him to call the cops and the media and bring them to the tailor shop. I go there, because the tailor is the murderer's father. I assume he's been helping her out, or at least that bringing her to him will have some emotional effect and give me a chance to escape. And in fact he is surprised to see her, but not that much. Clearly he just wasn't expecting to see her there, but they've been seeing each other. I am blocked inside the tailor's shop and they think they got it under control. They discuss how to kill me and hide the kids again, but then the cops and press appear and they are caught in the act. I announce that she's the killer they've been looking for, that the father was her accomplice and then to top if of, I show them the children I have been hiding insde my jacket and ask them to check for matches with missing kids. Everybody treats me like I am the hero of the century.

      Updated 07-05-2022 at 11:56 AM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid
    7. 14 Mar: A yogini comes to some teachings and hands me paperwork

      by , 03-14-2022 at 04:31 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some buddhist teachings but the scenario also feels like school. I am gathered with other people at a room, listening to some teacher when we are visited by a yogini, an old tibetan lady. She pays her respects to the teacher. but then also hands me a katak or something with similar purpose, bows before me and then adresses the teacher briefly. We don't understand what they say. When she leaves, I notice some girl is angry or jealous that I got special attention. I am puzzled, but at the same time I suspect what it might be about. In the end, the teacher approaches me and hands me some paperwork, a planner and some login info. He says the yogini agreed that I have the marks and has starting a procedure that I have to follow, if I wish to accept the role I am supposed to fulfill. I need to study some texts and know them by heart. And I suppose this will change my life completely, as I'll probably need to travel and be away from home for many years or even forever.
      I start looking at the documents and filling the planner with my data. Then Riverstone comes by, and I start trying to tell him, but he is not paying attention. Then my mom is also around and I know she will freak out if I tell her I may need to go away. I am not sure how to tell her. I ask a rhetorical question or make some innuendo just to see her reaction. She suspects I might have something to say and I confess I have some important announcement to make, but will only tell them when we get home.
    8. 8 Feb: Meeting my teacher and going by van to the beach

      by , 02-08-2022 at 09:47 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      My teacher and others are visiting some place, could be Germany by the looks of it, but it is warm and there is a beach nearby, so I don't know. We are all in a house. It is an apartment but bigh enough to accomodate them and all the students. The group of students is maybe 20 people. I haven't yet seen my teacher, but I accidentaly step into a room where I disturb OTR and another teacher who are talking. I make a discrete turn around and leave. Anyway they see me, but I think they are more entertained than upset.
      Then I am told we should gather in a specific room as our teacher is coming. For some reason I have to get fully naked and my teacher paints me in red. I have a tear falling down my right cheek as he paints my face. I am a bit embarassed from being naked in front of the others but they also seem embarassed and looking down to avoid eye contact.
      Later on, we are told to get ready as we are being taken to the beach. I go get food from a fridge, specifically 4 green pears, and then join the others on a subterranean parking lot where a big van arrives, supposedly to take us. But our teacher cuts through, followed by an entourage and I am convinced they take most of the seats. But actually the van is really big and has like 4 rows of seats and we all fit in. My teacher is on the first row and I am on the third, but he still can see me through the rear mirror, Riverstone is also sitting on the same row as I am. To my surprise, my teacher turns around and starts speaking portuguese-brazilian with Riverstone. I am confused as I had no idea he could speak PT, yet Riverstone apparently did know, because he doesn't flinch and immediately replies. I wonder if he understands original portuguese and surprisingly he also does.
    9. 22 Jan: My teacher is visiting

      by , 01-22-2022 at 10:39 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      My teacher comes to PT. While meeting some of his students, during a more relaxed moment, he calls me to sit with him at a table for a private conversation. He asks me how I am and does some small talk. He grabs my hand and we show more affection than what I think others should see. He comes closer to me and puts his arms around my shoulders. Says he doesn't care what others think. But the fact is no one around seems to see or care. Nobody is looking at us. He says something like he wants to know everything and I tell him "Then, let's go out for the whole day and I'll tell you everything you need to know." He agrees. I say I just need to go home for 5 mins and will come right back. It is actually my mom's house and not mine. I take the elevator. She is at home and Riverstone is there watching TV and has a really weird haircut. He knows I was with my teacher, so he asks how it went. I give him a hug and ask "What if I move to India?" and he doesn't say a word. My mom is like "Hein?" and totally puzzled. I don't even know how to tell her. But first I must go back to my teacher.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    10. 8 Dec: Friend's house turns into hostel, lucid encounter with my teacher

      by , 12-08-2021 at 04:35 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With Riverstone and Nighthawk at what I think is his place. There is a table with a feast and we are chillin. He is laying down on the couch. We have some weird interaction and I feel like he wants to speak with Riverstone alone, so I leave. He says he has some IT issues and hints that I might help out, so I offer to do so and he instructs me to go to an office room down the hallway. Outside on the hallway it feels like a hostel or guest house, not a private house. And indeed the office looks more like a cyber café, with dozens of computers and printers and people on many desks. I sneak peak into someone's work and seems like he is writting a thesis. I spot a pc that is the only one without someone working on it. By its side there are also some papers, of someone clearly working with it and maybe on a break, and I almost decide to steal the pc and leave with it, but then I don't. Instead I need to pee and go look for a bathroom. Weirdly, I have to go out on the street and walk back and forth some stone stairway at the top of some avenue, because the toilet stalls are all lined up on the sides of the street and stairway. I finally find one free, but despite my efforts, can't pee. (Wake up and really need to pee)

      I am in some weird surreal place, at first can't really characterize it, but looks kinda hellish, a barren land with a lake of lava or black oil on fire. I notice there is a big fuss and some dudes are fighting with some weird kind of weapons, and I try to walk away discreetly, but then all eyes turn to me because I have on my hands a bigger and more spectacular weapon than theirs. The weapons are hard to describe, but are sort of an eliptical light saber which we grab in the middle (which is void, maybe some kind of force field, but my hands can hold it). Everyone feels like I am challlenging them, so they stop fighting and start attacking me instead. I fight them off easily.

      I think I start becoming lucid and just drop the dream. Find myself in a dark empty space and decide to rip apart the dream fabric, quite literally, like a paper scenario. Behind it is total void and I plunge into it. The fall is short and I land with my back onto what appears to be the lower bed on a bunkbed. To my right is a wall, to the left is another bunkbed. People are sleeping in those. I get up and when walking to the door I have this clear feeling I should look up to whomever is on the top bunkbed. He just raised his head. It is my teacher. He smiles and extends his hand. I grab his hand and kiss it. I smile back and say "I am finally here" and we just smile at each other for a while. He comes down. A male attendant also gets up from another bed. I am surprised he can also see me. My teacher walks outside with me, and we are followed by his attendant, who is acting like a body guard, but not against me, against anyone else we might come across. We enter some kitchen or canteen and my teacher sits on a chair. I am holding his hand still and I lay my head on his lap and wrap my arms around his waist. He suggests I get a chair to and sit, but I hesitate, because I don't want to move. Eventually I agree to get a chair, but then wake up.

      Updated 12-08-2021 at 10:28 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    11. 15 Nov: Newspaper article about me, waking up my teacher, meet an Angel and a woman is possessed

      by , 11-15-2021 at 10:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      A friend brings me a newspaper article where my name is mentioned in the title. I try to understand what it is about and who wrote it. Can't recognize the name, but I think it is of a friend of a friend to whom I told a story. I feel pissed that this person used my name and described me without my permission. But the story is good and actually supposed to praise me for my decision about something.

      Somehow I come to a room where my teacher is laying on a bed unconscious, or maybe asleep. I kneel by his side and put a hand on his chest. He wakes up slowly and sees me by his side. I caress him a bit and he slowly caresses me back. He smiles and he is happy to see me. He gets up really hungry. Some monk and some other girl from the Sangha are also around and they guide him to the kitchen table. As we wait for food, he grabs the newspaper and sees my name in it. He tries to read the article but its in Portuguese. I tell him the story. It's about a lady in the Sangha who is married to a guy she doesn't love and she discovers he has a secret room. One day he is out and she grabs the key and enters the room and then the story goes on but I don't recall.

      Meet Gabriel who is some kind of angel. Something important happened and he appeared. Then some person I am with sees the ghost of some lady on a window who tries to talk to her. Something about Deuteronomy. I tell Gabriel I also saw her and then things get stranger. The lady gets possessed, but only I can see and hear the demonic sounds and horrible faces coming from that person. I show it to my mom who gets terrified, so she can see it to. The I show it to my grandma who holds my hand as asks something banal as if she didn't notice anything.

      Updated 11-25-2021 at 11:56 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    12. 10 Aug: Grandma's garden turns into chinese garden, I become rich, my teacher is sick

      by , 08-10-2021 at 10:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At my grandma's house in Moita, with my parents and aunt/uncle. I am reminiscing about the time my cousin said he had a cancer and did not show any worry, but I felt it was a big deal (and it was). Dad is closing the windows of the house, saying it is time to sleep and I ask if he locked the front door. He says no, so I grab the keys and he asks if I know which one to use. I say I'll find out. Turns out there is not even a door in place to close. My aunt joins me and I show her there is no door and she thinks it's no big deal. Then my mom also joins and while they figure out what happened to the door, I step out in the garden and admire how lush and chaotic it is. It grew into a full forest, but with edible plants all around too. I tell mom I'd like to move in here and she looks worried and tries to change my mind.
      I realize there is a small road passing through the garden that is being used by other people. There are rickshaws taking people through our garden. I watch as one departs empty and the conductor falls down a bridge over a stream at the end of the garden, that cracks under his feet. Other people come to his rescue. As I approach, I am no longer at my grandma's garden, this is in clearly an Asian garden in some Asian country. I'd say Chinese by the style. I then see a temple and go inside. Like in some comedy movie that I am watching, there is a funny scene where some village idiot gets into an absurd situation and somehow is face is reflected on Guru's Rinpoche statue and people think it is a miracle and pray to him. While this happens, my mom comes in looking for me and asks me to leave with her. But I am actually interested in staying and joining a prayer session starting. She complains she does not understand a word it is being said and I point out there are subtitles in the air if she pays attention, but she can't seem to catch them and is upset. I walk her to the door but say I will stay. Then I am surprised by D. Rinpoche who comes from a back room to me at the door and asks me why haven't had a child. And I am like "I don't want to". He insists "why not?". And I wonder why is it so important for him that I have a kid. I explain it is a complex mix of reasons and he asks for the main one. I reply I think Riverstone would be a bad father to my kid. He looks a bit shocked but wants to know more. Then Riverstone is at the door and we have to stop talking, so I bow down to D. Rinpoche and say farewell.

      I am rich, just inherited some hypermarket stores chain and a mansion. I am exploring my new house and it is ridiculous. I have a walk in closet the size of my actual living room and two-storey high, filled with outfits. There is also a room with a full library of comic books and rare graphic novels, and several copies of each volume. I am already thinking of selling some. All is fantastic, I am planning on having a quiet weekend enjoying my new mansion, when instead of all the people who were present, going away, more and more people are coming. Turns out one of the chain stores is right below my house and actually partially going into my house, like that library is actually part of the shop and not just for my pleasure and the walking closet is actually the clothes section, so turns out I don't have any privacy or the things to myself. I feel upset and go through some back door to what looks like a storage area. I am attacked by a really fat crocodile that comes out of nowhere. I climb something and try to stay out of his way but he keeps chasing me. I am saved by a giant toad that attacks the crocodile.

      Accidentally I turn up at some ceremony that will be lead by Rinpoche. He is coming soon and people are looking for a place to sit. The place is a narrow rectangular room, people sit on the floor with their backs against the walls and Rinpoche will sit at the end on the narrower side, on a slightly elevated stage. I get a very good place right by the side of the stage on the floor, but then realize I don't have any of the texts I will need to join in prayer, so I put down a jacket or something to mark my place and get up to go get some texts somewhere. I jump over a wall to get outside more quickly and come across Rinpoche who is just passing behind that wall. He asks me where I am going. I explain I am going to get texts and he says not to bother, and just ask the boy sitting next to him. So we go inside and the boy is sitting on the elevated stage prepared for Rinpoche. He is a very young boy, I believe a tulku, and he is sitting on the stage on a pillow and has another ready by his side. I ask him about the texts and he says he does not have extra but will share his with me and offers the pillow by his side. I am so embarrassed and I say "no, I can't sit there", but he insists, so I ask if we can at least push the pillows near the end of the stage and not be so close to Rinpoche. He indulges by moving like 20 cms to the side. I give up and sit by his side, so very self-conscious of what everybody will think. Then notice I am dressing an exquisite outfit and wearing adornments in my head I didn't had previously. Still nobody in the audience flinches and I wonder "what do they know that I don't?"
      Then Rinpoche arrives and sits on his place but before anything else, he says he has something to share. He says his cancer is back and he just found out this morning. I see people in shock but nobody moves from their places, so as I am so close I reach out to hold his hand, knowing once again this might shock people, but they don't care. Then Rinpoche comes closer and leans to me, crying a bit. I hold him in my arms and comfort him. Tell him I don't think I'll live long either, so let's live one day at a time. Then I start feeling again self-conscious and whisper to him if we can meet later alone. He says yes and nothing else.
      It is only when the ceremony ends that some Asian girl approaches me to say "when Rinpoche leaves, please follow me".
    13. 20 May: House sinking in chocolate, mad at people and rescuing a cow

      by , 05-20-2021 at 07:14 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some house, staying with dharma brothers and sisters and my teacher is there too. Can't recall details, but we've been teasing each other, while we sit at opposite couches with different posses. The house starts shaking and chaos ensues, with people jumping over the couches, not knowing where to run to. Some say it is and earthquake, others say it isn't. I go to the nearest window and I see a pit forming around the house and it is full of liquid chocolate on which the house starts to sink. I warn everybody and jump over the pit to safer ground. Then offer help to others. But some don jump and instead pass me trays of chocolate cookies and cakes through the window.
      Then I am alone with a big guy that I was nice to and he is getting too close for comfort. He looks like a big viking with orange beard, but I have to push him away. He gets mad and demands to know why I don't love him back. I say I could love him if I actually knew him and if he changed his behavior. I buy some time until there are others around, who also escaped the sinking house. They come with paintings, namely portraits of me as a goddess or Wonder Woman.
      I look gorgeous on the paintings and look at myself for comparison, I suppose. I notice my hair is dark black on the half bottom but has a light brown shade on the top half and I don't like it. So I do some coloring on the top to even out the color, but somehow I end up bleaching most of my hair. At first look, I panic, but then realize I don't look bad blonde. I also have pretty black and pink highlights in the bottom of the hair and it actually looks amazing.

      Join some event with hundreds of people in an auditorium. My Sensei is on stage talking and then he gets emotional and starts singing a song. He sucks at it, so I accidentally giggle and he is very offended. Says he is doing his best and if there are those who do better, to please come and bless us with their voice. Then he calls me and tells everybody that I am so good that maybe I'll be discovered by someone from the music industry today. Except he knows I hate crowds and singing in front of audiences and surprises. People applaud to incentivize me and I say absolutely no and refuse to go. He comes down the stage and sits really close, on the row in front of me. Someone to my right says we don't need to stay angry at each other and suggests we apologize, but he grunts, so I get up and leave. Outside, I am thinking I can't have my ASD diagnostic soon enough. Maybe then people will understand and be a little more respectful of how hard it is for me to be exposed like that in front of hundreds of people.
      Then a car passes by on the road, an old model with a big rear. The owners tied, what I assume is their dog, to the windshield wipers and are driving with him standing outside on top of the trunk. The dog seems to be enjoying, but there is a huge risk he slips and gets hang on his leash. They stop at some traffic lights and some courageous guy comes running and unties the dog. The couple inside the car starts complaining and shouts threats, but they keep driving away. We find it odd. I tell the guy they probably will come back, so I stay by his side to support him. But they don't come and instead send a drone with inbuilt communication device. It says please to tie the dog to the drone and return it. I grab the drone and yell to the mic that they have to come and get it or else fuck off. So they obviously don't care about the dog and I tell the guy to keep it. Then the guy also talks to the drone and I notice he is holding the leash, but there is no dog at the end of it. I warn him and we freak out looking for the dog. Turns out he was sitting quietly behind us and allowed me to put the leash on him again, but he had been chewing on it and that's how it broke off.

      I had a dream based on a story I had watched about this french creep guy who runs a model agency and abuses young modes. I dream I am also working for some modelling agency and the boss sexually harassed me. So I go confront him at some shop where he is supposed to be with his wife and two adult twin daughters, but he is not there. I still deliver my message to the wife and daughters. They mock me. They say my career is ruined and anyway they already received the money I owed them for quitting. I am confused, I swear I did not pay anything and I will actually demand a compensation in court. They keep laughing. A male secretary of theirs explains to me they already received a transfer from my parents after they were told I was quitting the program. I am pissed. They then taunt me that I am throwing away international fame and riches because of nothing. I say I prefer keeping my self respect and dignity and be happy than a sell-out zombie raped by that sleaze bag for any money in the world and also that there are many ways to make money in life. They are getting upset with me and stop laughing and just want me to go away. Eventually I do, I see I am not going to open up their eyes to how pathetic they are.
      I cross the road, there are trams going both ways and lots of people on the crosswalk. I see the river down the street ahead. I am supposed to go to the street on the right, but I lots of people going straight ahead in a party mode, so I follow them. Then I also come across people showing indignation and complaining about some bullfighting. By the river, I see a fence around and area with sand on the ground, clearly an improvised arena. Outside is a small stable with about 6 young male calves lined up and some people are cheering and celebrating while others are naturally mourning the faith of the young ones and petting them. I get closer to also pet them and to say prayers for them. Then I spot a female calve on the side, looking very weak and being totally ignored. I guess she is there by mistake and no one seems to care about her. I get closer and she comes to me to cuddle up and lick me. I hug her and immediately decide I need to get out of there and take her with me somehow.
    14. 31 Mar: High school friends, spirit attack, lucid explorations and meeting my teacher

      by , 03-31-2021 at 01:00 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a high school, but I feel like just a visitor. Billie Eilish gave a concert there the previous day. Now I meet Claudia, the girl who kinda gave me the push to discover Billie, and I just realized she looks like her a lot and she even died her hair like her. She has a serious crush and I recall my own crush for Björk when I was her age. But I also like Billie and I have a song stuck in my mind and start singing it out loud. So Claudia joins me in it. She is also a singer, but like me, our paths took us different ways from a musical career and I think about how that is sad but also ok, because not everybody can be talented in the same way or doing the same thing.
      I then meet Zilla, Licas and other girlfriends from high school and they join us. We talk, we sing and we do something like an homage or invocation of someone who passed away. Then we go to the cafeteria and while we are snacking, the girls look at me scared, saying that my whole face his covered in red scars. I look in a mirror and I look like someone burned my face all around with a flaming iron. But I don't feel any pain. Then the girl to my side also shows the marks and the others freak out and try to distance themselves from us, suggesting we did something that caused that. But I am sure I didn't. Then I see the lines showing up also on their faces and someone suggests it is the spirit of the person we invoked, and that it means she never forgave us for some event in which she felt abandoned by us.
      We decide to leave and take a bus home, but as we go across the school I notice how strange it looks, like it is some medieval tavern inside a cave and I get lucid.
      I spot a slit on the cave ceiling through which sunlight shines in. I fly up and go through the slit, but I am taken to another cave, bigger, more open to the outside. It has a sandy beach inside and people having fun there. A dog jumped from a rock above and I worry that he got hurt as he fell in a zone with more rocks and not sand, but he gets up ok and the owners laugh and say he is fine. I fly higher up and enjoy the beauty of the rock formations. Then I get really outside and it is a canyon with really amazing shapes. Then I fly over a countryside landscape and I see all sorts of natural things but also crazy things, like 4 horses doing a tik tok dance, but mostly just beautiful landscape with mountains, small rural villages. And then I reach a barrier of clouds above me and when I go through it, there is nothing above, just the outer layers of the atmosphere and all of a sudden I feel scared with the idea of just floating in a totally empty space. So I go down. I land on a village and rub my hands to increase lucidity. I wonder what to do and I think about seeing my teacher. But when I do, I never get to see him. Still, I see a hotel and I go in to see if he's there. Someone does call my name but it is some old friend from Italy or France (not sure whom). He is gathered around a table with some people both in casual clothes but also some in navy and military uniforms. He asks me to join them. At the top of the table they have like a poster with a letter from the Queen of England, who is like their virtual guest of this lunch. They were invited and the food is all they can eat, paid by the Queen. I wonder what's the occasion, but I just say thanks and leave. Not my goal and I notice my strategy didn't work. So I go outside again, to rethink what to do, but lucidity fades and I wake up.


      I am at some kind of event on a tent. Some familiar faces sitting on yoga mats and cushions and also on seats disposes in an amphitheater to the back of the tent. I go outside for a bit of fresh air and give back a mat to a girl who borrowed me hers. I think it was Alicja. But some other girl comes to me a bit upset that I mixed the mats and that this one is hers instead. I apologize and as I talk to them I spot my teacher at the end of the road leading to the entrance of the tent. He is being inconspicuous and he is wearing a mask, but I spot him. I think he sees me too, but I pretend I haven't or that I didn't make a bit deal out of it. Then I lose sight of him. I go inside the tent again and the organizers are asking people to sit at some empty chairs at the top of the amphitheater area, to distribute people more homogeneously. Then I spot my teacher sitting there and some empty seats next to him. So I decide to go seat near him. I pass in front of him and sit two chairs away, because between us there is one guy. I only take a brief look, when passing in front of him and take a small bow to acknowledge his presence. Then I sit there quietly, sucking a lollipop. He also plays it cool, but once the whatever shows starts, he keeps making quick stares at me, so I also look once and we cross eyes and we just lose ourselves in it.
    15. 11 Feb: Playing with time, lucid meditation and prisoner at a fort

      by , 02-11-2021 at 11:54 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I work in some office in the city. Somebody left a baby there. A colleague comes to me with the baby and asks if I want to adopt him. He is adorable and I kinda want to, but I remind her it's not that simple. I do accept however to look after him for the time being, until it is clear where he came from and what will happen next.
      As we leave, I am on the street with my colleague and she is holding the baby and showing me a daycare just at the end of the street, where she suggests I can leave him during the day. I sense some imminent danger as I notice we are underneath a building under construction. Somehow I rewind time, so we escape whatever accident was about to happen. That's when some agents of the Adjustment Bureau type of thing appear to me, not to chase me down and punish me, but to meet and befriend me. They too can stop time and push it back and forth. They stop everyone on the street and show me something quite irrelevant about music from a street vendor while he is frozen in time. I ask if one can in theory live forever if it spends a lot of time in this time stop bubbles. In theory they say one can live a long time as we don't age there, but we also can't do much because interfering or changing anything while there can have cosmic consequences. We can go back and change course, but not change things while they are frozen, Even stepping on a bug could be disastrous. I think it is good for meditating.

      In a retreat with my teacher. He presents a dance he practiced with a couple students. Then he selects a new group to choreograph a new dance and I am selected to be part of the group. Then he is invited by some glass artist to blow some glass to create a piece that will encapsulate his breath as a memento, and he calls me on, to add my breath to it to. But I blow too hard and destroy the piece. We start over.


      I am walking down a street and become lucid. I decide to float up and think about what to do next. I sit in meditation hovering over people on the street and try to just slide through the air to keep the scenario changing without having actively to think about it. Usually the mediation collapses the dream so I am trying to keep it going without interacting with it. But as usual it doesn't last long. Mara sends his armies to disrupt me. The sky turns dark and I see some couple bad fellas following me around with clear bad intentions. They can't fly but they are apparently pushing me past some train tracks into a garden. In that garden there is some kind of abandoned building where some more fellas are doing shady businesses with, I think, stolen materials. At first they don't seem disturbed with my presence. I even notice Evangelion among them and feel safer. But the ones that were following me push me into some long corridor that takes me to a new place. Past a door, there is a hallway in what appears to be an old fort. They close the door behind me and I keep going forward looking for the exit on the other side. But someone closes the door at the other end.Then I hear them entering through the door on to my back and clearly not with good intentions. But there are windows. They think I won't jump given the height, but I can fly and levitate so it isn't a problem to me. I go to the ledge of the window outside and just float until the ground.
      Now the context is a bit different, These guys are like a private army in a fort, they have uniforms. Outside on the ground, I stumble upon one who is secretly meeting his lady girlfriend. She is virgin and they are about to have their first sexual encounter before he goes on some mission the next day. They both get naked. The guy is played by Chris Evans, so very hot, but here he is a douchebag whom I despise. The girl is some blond actress whose name I don't recall. At first I feel like disrupting their sex and take revenge on the guy, I even pick up a spear he left on the floor and think about pinning down his balls to the ground. But I feel sorry for the girl. She really loves him and is so into the several positions they are trying . I let them be. But I steal his uniform. Then I go around the fort and pass by all the guards on the front door just for fun. A general arrives and is welcomed by another high ranking official there, who is telling him how they captured me and also have some important documents for him. I salute them and the general asks "so why is she here in a uniform" and the other guy freaks out. I kick his ass and some friends of mine arrive in a car and kidnap the general at that instant and take me along. No guards have time to react.
      After that we stop at some café to eat some cookies and have a drink. It is a kitsch but high tech place, with cute cat images and amazing interactive decorative panels with waterfall and other nature images that we can mix and match and they adjust to each other - like if we put one panel close another with a waterfall, it will prolong the waterfall.
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