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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 14 Mar: A yogini comes to some teachings and hands me paperwork

      by , 03-14-2022 at 04:31 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some buddhist teachings but the scenario also feels like school. I am gathered with other people at a room, listening to some teacher when we are visited by a yogini, an old tibetan lady. She pays her respects to the teacher. but then also hands me a katak or something with similar purpose, bows before me and then adresses the teacher briefly. We don't understand what they say. When she leaves, I notice some girl is angry or jealous that I got special attention. I am puzzled, but at the same time I suspect what it might be about. In the end, the teacher approaches me and hands me some paperwork, a planner and some login info. He says the yogini agreed that I have the marks and has starting a procedure that I have to follow, if I wish to accept the role I am supposed to fulfill. I need to study some texts and know them by heart. And I suppose this will change my life completely, as I'll probably need to travel and be away from home for many years or even forever.
      I start looking at the documents and filling the planner with my data. Then Riverstone comes by, and I start trying to tell him, but he is not paying attention. Then my mom is also around and I know she will freak out if I tell her I may need to go away. I am not sure how to tell her. I ask a rhetorical question or make some innuendo just to see her reaction. She suspects I might have something to say and I confess I have some important announcement to make, but will only tell them when we get home.
    2. 8 Feb: Meeting my teacher and going by van to the beach

      by , 02-08-2022 at 09:47 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      My teacher and others are visiting some place, could be Germany by the looks of it, but it is warm and there is a beach nearby, so I don't know. We are all in a house. It is an apartment but bigh enough to accomodate them and all the students. The group of students is maybe 20 people. I haven't yet seen my teacher, but I accidentaly step into a room where I disturb OTR and another teacher who are talking. I make a discrete turn around and leave. Anyway they see me, but I think they are more entertained than upset.
      Then I am told we should gather in a specific room as our teacher is coming. For some reason I have to get fully naked and my teacher paints me in red. I have a tear falling down my right cheek as he paints my face. I am a bit embarassed from being naked in front of the others but they also seem embarassed and looking down to avoid eye contact.
      Later on, we are told to get ready as we are being taken to the beach. I go get food from a fridge, specifically 4 green pears, and then join the others on a subterranean parking lot where a big van arrives, supposedly to take us. But our teacher cuts through, followed by an entourage and I am convinced they take most of the seats. But actually the van is really big and has like 4 rows of seats and we all fit in. My teacher is on the first row and I am on the third, but he still can see me through the rear mirror, Riverstone is also sitting on the same row as I am. To my surprise, my teacher turns around and starts speaking portuguese-brazilian with Riverstone. I am confused as I had no idea he could speak PT, yet Riverstone apparently did know, because he doesn't flinch and immediately replies. I wonder if he understands original portuguese and surprisingly he also does.
    3. 22 Jan: My teacher is visiting

      by , 01-22-2022 at 10:39 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      My teacher comes to PT. While meeting some of his students, during a more relaxed moment, he calls me to sit with him at a table for a private conversation. He asks me how I am and does some small talk. He grabs my hand and we show more affection than what I think others should see. He comes closer to me and puts his arms around my shoulders. Says he doesn't care what others think. But the fact is no one around seems to see or care. Nobody is looking at us. He says something like he wants to know everything and I tell him "Then, let's go out for the whole day and I'll tell you everything you need to know." He agrees. I say I just need to go home for 5 mins and will come right back. It is actually my mom's house and not mine. I take the elevator. She is at home and Riverstone is there watching TV and has a really weird haircut. He knows I was with my teacher, so he asks how it went. I give him a hug and ask "What if I move to India?" and he doesn't say a word. My mom is like "Hein?" and totally puzzled. I don't even know how to tell her. But first I must go back to my teacher.
      Categories
      non-lucid
    4. 8 Dec: Friend's house turns into hostel, lucid encounter with my teacher

      by , 12-08-2021 at 04:35 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      With Riverstone and Nighthawk at what I think is his place. There is a table with a feast and we are chillin. He is laying down on the couch. We have some weird interaction and I feel like he wants to speak with Riverstone alone, so I leave. He says he has some IT issues and hints that I might help out, so I offer to do so and he instructs me to go to an office room down the hallway. Outside on the hallway it feels like a hostel or guest house, not a private house. And indeed the office looks more like a cyber café, with dozens of computers and printers and people on many desks. I sneak peak into someone's work and seems like he is writting a thesis. I spot a pc that is the only one without someone working on it. By its side there are also some papers, of someone clearly working with it and maybe on a break, and I almost decide to steal the pc and leave with it, but then I don't. Instead I need to pee and go look for a bathroom. Weirdly, I have to go out on the street and walk back and forth some stone stairway at the top of some avenue, because the toilet stalls are all lined up on the sides of the street and stairway. I finally find one free, but despite my efforts, can't pee. (Wake up and really need to pee)

      I am in some weird surreal place, at first can't really characterize it, but looks kinda hellish, a barren land with a lake of lava or black oil on fire. I notice there is a big fuss and some dudes are fighting with some weird kind of weapons, and I try to walk away discreetly, but then all eyes turn to me because I have on my hands a bigger and more spectacular weapon than theirs. The weapons are hard to describe, but are sort of an eliptical light saber which we grab in the middle (which is void, maybe some kind of force field, but my hands can hold it). Everyone feels like I am challlenging them, so they stop fighting and start attacking me instead. I fight them off easily.

      I think I start becoming lucid and just drop the dream. Find myself in a dark empty space and decide to rip apart the dream fabric, quite literally, like a paper scenario. Behind it is total void and I plunge into it. The fall is short and I land with my back onto what appears to be the lower bed on a bunkbed. To my right is a wall, to the left is another bunkbed. People are sleeping in those. I get up and when walking to the door I have this clear feeling I should look up to whomever is on the top bunkbed. He just raised his head. It is my teacher. He smiles and extends his hand. I grab his hand and kiss it. I smile back and say "I am finally here" and we just smile at each other for a while. He comes down. A male attendant also gets up from another bed. I am surprised he can also see me. My teacher walks outside with me, and we are followed by his attendant, who is acting like a body guard, but not against me, against anyone else we might come across. We enter some kitchen or canteen and my teacher sits on a chair. I am holding his hand still and I lay my head on his lap and wrap my arms around his waist. He suggests I get a chair to and sit, but I hesitate, because I don't want to move. Eventually I agree to get a chair, but then wake up.

      Updated 12-08-2021 at 10:28 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid
    5. 15 Nov: Newspaper article about me, waking up my teacher, meet an Angel and a woman is possessed

      by , 11-15-2021 at 10:17 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      A friend brings me a newspaper article where my name is mentioned in the title. I try to understand what it is about and who wrote it. Can't recognize the name, but I think it is of a friend of a friend to whom I told a story. I feel pissed that this person used my name and described me without my permission. But the story is good and actually supposed to praise me for my decision about something.

      Somehow I come to a room where my teacher is laying on a bed unconscious, or maybe asleep. I kneel by his side and put a hand on his chest. He wakes up slowly and sees me by his side. I caress him a bit and he slowly caresses me back. He smiles and he is happy to see me. He gets up really hungry. Some monk and some other girl from the Sangha are also around and they guide him to the kitchen table. As we wait for food, he grabs the newspaper and sees my name in it. He tries to read the article but its in Portuguese. I tell him the story. It's about a lady in the Sangha who is married to a guy she doesn't love and she discovers he has a secret room. One day he is out and she grabs the key and enters the room and then the story goes on but I don't recall.

      Meet Gabriel who is some kind of angel. Something important happened and he appeared. Then some person I am with sees the ghost of some lady on a window who tries to talk to her. Something about Deuteronomy. I tell Gabriel I also saw her and then things get stranger. The lady gets possessed, but only I can see and hear the demonic sounds and horrible faces coming from that person. I show it to my mom who gets terrified, so she can see it to. The I show it to my grandma who holds my hand as asks something banal as if she didn't notice anything.

      Updated 11-25-2021 at 11:56 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment
    6. 10 Aug: Grandma's garden turns into chinese garden, I become rich, my teacher is sick

      by , 08-10-2021 at 10:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At my grandma's house in Moita, with my parents and aunt/uncle. I am reminiscing about the time my cousin said he had a cancer and did not show any worry, but I felt it was a big deal (and it was). Dad is closing the windows of the house, saying it is time to sleep and I ask if he locked the front door. He says no, so I grab the keys and he asks if I know which one to use. I say I'll find out. Turns out there is not even a door in place to close. My aunt joins me and I show her there is no door and she thinks it's no big deal. Then my mom also joins and while they figure out what happened to the door, I step out in the garden and admire how lush and chaotic it is. It grew into a full forest, but with edible plants all around too. I tell mom I'd like to move in here and she looks worried and tries to change my mind.
      I realize there is a small road passing through the garden that is being used by other people. There are rickshaws taking people through our garden. I watch as one departs empty and the conductor falls down a bridge over a stream at the end of the garden, that cracks under his feet. Other people come to his rescue. As I approach, I am no longer at my grandma's garden, this is in clearly an Asian garden in some Asian country. I'd say Chinese by the style. I then see a temple and go inside. Like in some comedy movie that I am watching, there is a funny scene where some village idiot gets into an absurd situation and somehow is face is reflected on Guru's Rinpoche statue and people think it is a miracle and pray to him. While this happens, my mom comes in looking for me and asks me to leave with her. But I am actually interested in staying and joining a prayer session starting. She complains she does not understand a word it is being said and I point out there are subtitles in the air if she pays attention, but she can't seem to catch them and is upset. I walk her to the door but say I will stay. Then I am surprised by D. Rinpoche who comes from a back room to me at the door and asks me why haven't had a child. And I am like "I don't want to". He insists "why not?". And I wonder why is it so important for him that I have a kid. I explain it is a complex mix of reasons and he asks for the main one. I reply I think Riverstone would be a bad father to my kid. He looks a bit shocked but wants to know more. Then Riverstone is at the door and we have to stop talking, so I bow down to D. Rinpoche and say farewell.

      I am rich, just inherited some hypermarket stores chain and a mansion. I am exploring my new house and it is ridiculous. I have a walk in closet the size of my actual living room and two-storey high, filled with outfits. There is also a room with a full library of comic books and rare graphic novels, and several copies of each volume. I am already thinking of selling some. All is fantastic, I am planning on having a quiet weekend enjoying my new mansion, when instead of all the people who were present, going away, more and more people are coming. Turns out one of the chain stores is right below my house and actually partially going into my house, like that library is actually part of the shop and not just for my pleasure and the walking closet is actually the clothes section, so turns out I don't have any privacy or the things to myself. I feel upset and go through some back door to what looks like a storage area. I am attacked by a really fat crocodile that comes out of nowhere. I climb something and try to stay out of his way but he keeps chasing me. I am saved by a giant toad that attacks the crocodile.

      Accidentally I turn up at some ceremony that will be lead by Rinpoche. He is coming soon and people are looking for a place to sit. The place is a narrow rectangular room, people sit on the floor with their backs against the walls and Rinpoche will sit at the end on the narrower side, on a slightly elevated stage. I get a very good place right by the side of the stage on the floor, but then realize I don't have any of the texts I will need to join in prayer, so I put down a jacket or something to mark my place and get up to go get some texts somewhere. I jump over a wall to get outside more quickly and come across Rinpoche who is just passing behind that wall. He asks me where I am going. I explain I am going to get texts and he says not to bother, and just ask the boy sitting next to him. So we go inside and the boy is sitting on the elevated stage prepared for Rinpoche. He is a very young boy, I believe a tulku, and he is sitting on the stage on a pillow and has another ready by his side. I ask him about the texts and he says he does not have extra but will share his with me and offers the pillow by his side. I am so embarrassed and I say "no, I can't sit there", but he insists, so I ask if we can at least push the pillows near the end of the stage and not be so close to Rinpoche. He indulges by moving like 20 cms to the side. I give up and sit by his side, so very self-conscious of what everybody will think. Then notice I am dressing an exquisite outfit and wearing adornments in my head I didn't had previously. Still nobody in the audience flinches and I wonder "what do they know that I don't?"
      Then Rinpoche arrives and sits on his place but before anything else, he says he has something to share. He says his cancer is back and he just found out this morning. I see people in shock but nobody moves from their places, so as I am so close I reach out to hold his hand, knowing once again this might shock people, but they don't care. Then Rinpoche comes closer and leans to me, crying a bit. I hold him in my arms and comfort him. Tell him I don't think I'll live long either, so let's live one day at a time. Then I start feeling again self-conscious and whisper to him if we can meet later alone. He says yes and nothing else.
      It is only when the ceremony ends that some Asian girl approaches me to say "when Rinpoche leaves, please follow me".
    7. 20 May: House sinking in chocolate, mad at people and rescuing a cow

      by , 05-20-2021 at 07:14 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some house, staying with dharma brothers and sisters and my teacher is there too. Can't recall details, but we've been teasing each other, while we sit at opposite couches with different posses. The house starts shaking and chaos ensues, with people jumping over the couches, not knowing where to run to. Some say it is and earthquake, others say it isn't. I go to the nearest window and I see a pit forming around the house and it is full of liquid chocolate on which the house starts to sink. I warn everybody and jump over the pit to safer ground. Then offer help to others. But some don jump and instead pass me trays of chocolate cookies and cakes through the window.
      Then I am alone with a big guy that I was nice to and he is getting too close for comfort. He looks like a big viking with orange beard, but I have to push him away. He gets mad and demands to know why I don't love him back. I say I could love him if I actually knew him and if he changed his behavior. I buy some time until there are others around, who also escaped the sinking house. They come with paintings, namely portraits of me as a goddess or Wonder Woman.
      I look gorgeous on the paintings and look at myself for comparison, I suppose. I notice my hair is dark black on the half bottom but has a light brown shade on the top half and I don't like it. So I do some coloring on the top to even out the color, but somehow I end up bleaching most of my hair. At first look, I panic, but then realize I don't look bad blonde. I also have pretty black and pink highlights in the bottom of the hair and it actually looks amazing.

      Join some event with hundreds of people in an auditorium. My Sensei is on stage talking and then he gets emotional and starts singing a song. He sucks at it, so I accidentally giggle and he is very offended. Says he is doing his best and if there are those who do better, to please come and bless us with their voice. Then he calls me and tells everybody that I am so good that maybe I'll be discovered by someone from the music industry today. Except he knows I hate crowds and singing in front of audiences and surprises. People applaud to incentivize me and I say absolutely no and refuse to go. He comes down the stage and sits really close, on the row in front of me. Someone to my right says we don't need to stay angry at each other and suggests we apologize, but he grunts, so I get up and leave. Outside, I am thinking I can't have my ASD diagnostic soon enough. Maybe then people will understand and be a little more respectful of how hard it is for me to be exposed like that in front of hundreds of people.
      Then a car passes by on the road, an old model with a big rear. The owners tied, what I assume is their dog, to the windshield wipers and are driving with him standing outside on top of the trunk. The dog seems to be enjoying, but there is a huge risk he slips and gets hang on his leash. They stop at some traffic lights and some courageous guy comes running and unties the dog. The couple inside the car starts complaining and shouts threats, but they keep driving away. We find it odd. I tell the guy they probably will come back, so I stay by his side to support him. But they don't come and instead send a drone with inbuilt communication device. It says please to tie the dog to the drone and return it. I grab the drone and yell to the mic that they have to come and get it or else fuck off. So they obviously don't care about the dog and I tell the guy to keep it. Then the guy also talks to the drone and I notice he is holding the leash, but there is no dog at the end of it. I warn him and we freak out looking for the dog. Turns out he was sitting quietly behind us and allowed me to put the leash on him again, but he had been chewing on it and that's how it broke off.

      I had a dream based on a story I had watched about this french creep guy who runs a model agency and abuses young modes. I dream I am also working for some modelling agency and the boss sexually harassed me. So I go confront him at some shop where he is supposed to be with his wife and two adult twin daughters, but he is not there. I still deliver my message to the wife and daughters. They mock me. They say my career is ruined and anyway they already received the money I owed them for quitting. I am confused, I swear I did not pay anything and I will actually demand a compensation in court. They keep laughing. A male secretary of theirs explains to me they already received a transfer from my parents after they were told I was quitting the program. I am pissed. They then taunt me that I am throwing away international fame and riches because of nothing. I say I prefer keeping my self respect and dignity and be happy than a sell-out zombie raped by that sleaze bag for any money in the world and also that there are many ways to make money in life. They are getting upset with me and stop laughing and just want me to go away. Eventually I do, I see I am not going to open up their eyes to how pathetic they are.
      I cross the road, there are trams going both ways and lots of people on the crosswalk. I see the river down the street ahead. I am supposed to go to the street on the right, but I lots of people going straight ahead in a party mode, so I follow them. Then I also come across people showing indignation and complaining about some bullfighting. By the river, I see a fence around and area with sand on the ground, clearly an improvised arena. Outside is a small stable with about 6 young male calves lined up and some people are cheering and celebrating while others are naturally mourning the faith of the young ones and petting them. I get closer to also pet them and to say prayers for them. Then I spot a female calve on the side, looking very weak and being totally ignored. I guess she is there by mistake and no one seems to care about her. I get closer and she comes to me to cuddle up and lick me. I hug her and immediately decide I need to get out of there and take her with me somehow.
    8. 31 Mar: High school friends, spirit attack, lucid explorations and meeting my teacher

      by , 03-31-2021 at 01:00 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a high school, but I feel like just a visitor. Billie Eilish gave a concert there the previous day. Now I meet Claudia, the girl who kinda gave me the push to discover Billie, and I just realized she looks like her a lot and she even died her hair like her. She has a serious crush and I recall my own crush for Björk when I was her age. But I also like Billie and I have a song stuck in my mind and start singing it out loud. So Claudia joins me in it. She is also a singer, but like me, our paths took us different ways from a musical career and I think about how that is sad but also ok, because not everybody can be talented in the same way or doing the same thing.
      I then meet Zilla, Licas and other girlfriends from high school and they join us. We talk, we sing and we do something like an homage or invocation of someone who passed away. Then we go to the cafeteria and while we are snacking, the girls look at me scared, saying that my whole face his covered in red scars. I look in a mirror and I look like someone burned my face all around with a flaming iron. But I don't feel any pain. Then the girl to my side also shows the marks and the others freak out and try to distance themselves from us, suggesting we did something that caused that. But I am sure I didn't. Then I see the lines showing up also on their faces and someone suggests it is the spirit of the person we invoked, and that it means she never forgave us for some event in which she felt abandoned by us.
      We decide to leave and take a bus home, but as we go across the school I notice how strange it looks, like it is some medieval tavern inside a cave and I get lucid.
      I spot a slit on the cave ceiling through which sunlight shines in. I fly up and go through the slit, but I am taken to another cave, bigger, more open to the outside. It has a sandy beach inside and people having fun there. A dog jumped from a rock above and I worry that he got hurt as he fell in a zone with more rocks and not sand, but he gets up ok and the owners laugh and say he is fine. I fly higher up and enjoy the beauty of the rock formations. Then I get really outside and it is a canyon with really amazing shapes. Then I fly over a countryside landscape and I see all sorts of natural things but also crazy things, like 4 horses doing a tik tok dance, but mostly just beautiful landscape with mountains, small rural villages. And then I reach a barrier of clouds above me and when I go through it, there is nothing above, just the outer layers of the atmosphere and all of a sudden I feel scared with the idea of just floating in a totally empty space. So I go down. I land on a village and rub my hands to increase lucidity. I wonder what to do and I think about seeing my teacher. But when I do, I never get to see him. Still, I see a hotel and I go in to see if he's there. Someone does call my name but it is some old friend from Italy or France (not sure whom). He is gathered around a table with some people both in casual clothes but also some in navy and military uniforms. He asks me to join them. At the top of the table they have like a poster with a letter from the Queen of England, who is like their virtual guest of this lunch. They were invited and the food is all they can eat, paid by the Queen. I wonder what's the occasion, but I just say thanks and leave. Not my goal and I notice my strategy didn't work. So I go outside again, to rethink what to do, but lucidity fades and I wake up.


      I am at some kind of event on a tent. Some familiar faces sitting on yoga mats and cushions and also on seats disposes in an amphitheater to the back of the tent. I go outside for a bit of fresh air and give back a mat to a girl who borrowed me hers. I think it was Alicja. But some other girl comes to me a bit upset that I mixed the mats and that this one is hers instead. I apologize and as I talk to them I spot my teacher at the end of the road leading to the entrance of the tent. He is being inconspicuous and he is wearing a mask, but I spot him. I think he sees me too, but I pretend I haven't or that I didn't make a bit deal out of it. Then I lose sight of him. I go inside the tent again and the organizers are asking people to sit at some empty chairs at the top of the amphitheater area, to distribute people more homogeneously. Then I spot my teacher sitting there and some empty seats next to him. So I decide to go seat near him. I pass in front of him and sit two chairs away, because between us there is one guy. I only take a brief look, when passing in front of him and take a small bow to acknowledge his presence. Then I sit there quietly, sucking a lollipop. He also plays it cool, but once the whatever shows starts, he keeps making quick stares at me, so I also look once and we cross eyes and we just lose ourselves in it.
    9. 11 Feb: Playing with time, lucid meditation and prisoner at a fort

      by , 02-11-2021 at 11:54 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I work in some office in the city. Somebody left a baby there. A colleague comes to me with the baby and asks if I want to adopt him. He is adorable and I kinda want to, but I remind her it's not that simple. I do accept however to look after him for the time being, until it is clear where he came from and what will happen next.
      As we leave, I am on the street with my colleague and she is holding the baby and showing me a daycare just at the end of the street, where she suggests I can leave him during the day. I sense some imminent danger as I notice we are underneath a building under construction. Somehow I rewind time, so we escape whatever accident was about to happen. That's when some agents of the Adjustment Bureau type of thing appear to me, not to chase me down and punish me, but to meet and befriend me. They too can stop time and push it back and forth. They stop everyone on the street and show me something quite irrelevant about music from a street vendor while he is frozen in time. I ask if one can in theory live forever if it spends a lot of time in this time stop bubbles. In theory they say one can live a long time as we don't age there, but we also can't do much because interfering or changing anything while there can have cosmic consequences. We can go back and change course, but not change things while they are frozen, Even stepping on a bug could be disastrous. I think it is good for meditating.

      In a retreat with my teacher. He presents a dance he practiced with a couple students. Then he selects a new group to choreograph a new dance and I am selected to be part of the group. Then he is invited by some glass artist to blow some glass to create a piece that will encapsulate his breath as a memento, and he calls me on, to add my breath to it to. But I blow too hard and destroy the piece. We start over.


      I am walking down a street and become lucid. I decide to float up and think about what to do next. I sit in meditation hovering over people on the street and try to just slide through the air to keep the scenario changing without having actively to think about it. Usually the mediation collapses the dream so I am trying to keep it going without interacting with it. But as usual it doesn't last long. Mara sends his armies to disrupt me. The sky turns dark and I see some couple bad fellas following me around with clear bad intentions. They can't fly but they are apparently pushing me past some train tracks into a garden. In that garden there is some kind of abandoned building where some more fellas are doing shady businesses with, I think, stolen materials. At first they don't seem disturbed with my presence. I even notice Evangelion among them and feel safer. But the ones that were following me push me into some long corridor that takes me to a new place. Past a door, there is a hallway in what appears to be an old fort. They close the door behind me and I keep going forward looking for the exit on the other side. But someone closes the door at the other end.Then I hear them entering through the door on to my back and clearly not with good intentions. But there are windows. They think I won't jump given the height, but I can fly and levitate so it isn't a problem to me. I go to the ledge of the window outside and just float until the ground.
      Now the context is a bit different, These guys are like a private army in a fort, they have uniforms. Outside on the ground, I stumble upon one who is secretly meeting his lady girlfriend. She is virgin and they are about to have their first sexual encounter before he goes on some mission the next day. They both get naked. The guy is played by Chris Evans, so very hot, but here he is a douchebag whom I despise. The girl is some blond actress whose name I don't recall. At first I feel like disrupting their sex and take revenge on the guy, I even pick up a spear he left on the floor and think about pinning down his balls to the ground. But I feel sorry for the girl. She really loves him and is so into the several positions they are trying . I let them be. But I steal his uniform. Then I go around the fort and pass by all the guards on the front door just for fun. A general arrives and is welcomed by another high ranking official there, who is telling him how they captured me and also have some important documents for him. I salute them and the general asks "so why is she here in a uniform" and the other guy freaks out. I kick his ass and some friends of mine arrive in a car and kidnap the general at that instant and take me along. No guards have time to react.
      After that we stop at some café to eat some cookies and have a drink. It is a kitsch but high tech place, with cute cat images and amazing interactive decorative panels with waterfall and other nature images that we can mix and match and they adjust to each other - like if we put one panel close another with a waterfall, it will prolong the waterfall.
    10. 6 Jan: Meeting my teacher at a coffeeshop

      by , 01-06-2021 at 08:50 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      I am sitting at a table at some coffee shop and a couple tables to my side appears my teacher. I wave and smile timidly and he waves back with a smile to. I then think I have to sit with him, so I ask him if I can sit and he says yes. We look like a couple of teenagers in love. I wanna hold his hands but I wait for a sign. He then asks me how I am doing and wants to know details of what I have been doing. I update him on my work. Then other students of his spot us and join the table. They get in the way of our conversation and I feel like he is losing interest, but then he asks me about the box. At first I have no idea what he is talking about but then kind of recall some girl contacting me about a project of a small box with a few essential food and drink items to distribute in some specific humanitarian occasion. I tell him I offered my help for the project but it didn't go forward due to some cost related problems.
    11. 22 Jul: Engaging with my teacher's attendants

      by , 07-22-2020 at 12:29 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending my teacher's teachings, sitting front row. There are 3 Asian ladies, including his current partner EC, attending to his needs, but there is the rumor that I might be trying to steal their position. I assure I am not. My teacher exchanges just a few quick looks with me, his eyes eager to see me, but nothing else. Later on, some lamas or monks take me for a walk and say they heard I am an humble person and want to know if that is true. I say I am not sure and think about it for a while. I reply that I am aware of who I am but yes, I am humble in the sense I am also very aware of my character flaws and I don't feel like I am better or above anyone else. They take me to a kind of room in an attic. When I am there I recognize it is the meditation room of JKCL. I kneel on the floor and touch some pretty tiles where he sat practicing, feeling emotional. I then see a journal on a table with his notes about travels and some old pics of exotic places he went. I am met by two of the ladies from before (but not EC) and they are now being kind to me. They invite me for a weekend at some really nice place, to make plans with them about something. I accept.
    12. 14 Jun: Admiring vintage junk and my guru appears in a rainbow with a message

      by , 07-14-2020 at 02:58 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some junkyard, with a garage full of vintage stuff. The stuff belongs to the family of a childhood friend, Renata, and she comes by while I am admiring some old fridge. She seems disturbed by my presence as if she thinks I am there to steal it. I show her that I merely came in after my dog Bernardo, who had run after other dogs. The she sees the dogs.
      Then I spot some bikers passing by and I am afraid they might hit the dogs, but everything is fine.
      At the horizon I notice a strange rainbow, with a normal arch but at the base, one of the color strips bends out, turns white and curls around the rainbow. For a while it looks like a tornado with a double helix around it. I don't feel afraid and come closer to watch it. Then like a hologram, an image of my guru appears and talks to me. Gives me blessings and instructions, like a letter sequence as NS LCSS or something that I know I will mess up when I wake up. I get closer and fold my hands and bow down and he says "I miss you" and disappears.
    13. 14 Nov: Neighbor's moving and meeting with my guru

      by , 11-14-2019 at 12:19 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      My mom's neighbor is moving in. My mom's cats and my own are by the door with me, watching. I am naked from the waist up.

      Attending teachings at some venue. I have red hair. I get to sit in front of Rinpoche. He is also naked from waist up and smiling so much. An Indian lady by my side hands me a Tibetan medicine book. The intro is done by a speaker in Spanish and we can't hear a thing.

      With Rinpoche again. Now a small group of women in a small meeting room, sitting on the floor. He is giving advice for projects and so on. I am not in any of those projects, but one lady asks me a favor to call this guy who wants to buy some machine for their organization.
    14. 12 Nov: Department store and false awakening

      by , 11-12-2019 at 03:23 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At a department store. Going through different sections, checking clothes, then latest electronics and end up in the music and film area. Not looking for anything specific, but remember to take a look for Björk albums, since I don't buy cds for years. I find a cd which I didn't know, and check the inlay booklet. Looks nice, but I think it is one of those Björk albums which I don't particularly like and I wonder if I am willing to pay whatever it costs. But there is no price tag, so I need to go to the check-out with it.


      Then I have a FA and think I am in my bedroom. It is very dark, but once again I see this little purplish orb moving around the room. It is beautiful, but it also makes me feel uneasy. Since last time my teacher told me to swallow it, my first instinct was to do so again. So when it got near the bed, I opened my mouth widely and swallowed it. It went totally dark and then I woke up or entered a dream, I am not sure.
    15. 12 Oct: Asian stranger, flowers blossoming from my body, celestial palace

      by , 10-12-2019 at 09:07 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      It's night, the light in my garage turns on and I take a peak through the window. I see a guy inside my fence, by the gate near the pine tree. I can tell he is Asian and is wearing sunglasses, which is bizarre. I knock on the window and make a face like " hey, what are you doing here?" and he runs away, exiting through the gate. I get out and go after him. As soon as I turn on the road after my house to follow him, there is a building and he goes up a central staircase, many stories high. I look up to spot him but soon I lose him because there are many other people going up and down.

      At my mom's. She is in the bathroom and I am in my old bedroom. I feel an itch on my legs and realize I have a few infected pores. As I watch it closely, more and more pores are getting weird, purplish, engorging, becoming furuncules. They grow so large, they become like mushrooms. I pop some of them. It is disgusting.
      [COLOR="#FF0000"]But I realize I am dreaming. So just for fun, I turn the mushroom furuncules into flowers. At first it is not so easy to do it, but once I get the gist, I enjoy a wave of all types of flowers in all the colors of the rainbow, sprouting through my skin and blossoming and then giving way to other flowers. It is ticklish, I really feel them bursting out and growing, it is a strange and wonderful sensation. Also it is so incredibly beautiful to watch. As a final touch, I look to the palms of my hands and visualize a lotus flower blossoming in each of them. They do appear, one white lotus in each hand, first the leafs, then the flowers opening. Then I feel so light and glowy and I naturally start floating. I want to cross the wall and fly away but my mom calls for me and I turn back, because I don't want to scare her, even if it's in a dream. On the hallway I find my friend Belchior instead of my mom. He smiles at me, doesn't say a word and I realize there is nothing keeping me here. I keep floating on air and I feel like I am expanding in size. The ceiling can't contain me. I cross through the wall and ceiling and I am floating outside. Not like flying with effort or conscientiously, just standing weightless in the air. I can see my feet. Then I see a golden throne set up in the middle of the street in front of my mom's building. I float towards it and notice a golden Buddha statue which I touch and then I am inside four walls. It is an all white and gold room, marble floors and walls, rich golden curtains and sofas and beautiful big Buddha statues everywhere, in gold or white stone, in Tibetan, Thai and other styles. There is a panoramic window to a garden outside and passageways to other rooms. An Asian man comes in in servants clothing and welcomes me. Then a few ladies also appear, with foods to serve or just offering their services. I am a bit overwhelmed and then two beautiful cats come strutting in my direction. This feels like heave and I feel that I could stay here forever and just be pampered. But why and for what? Then I wonder where this servants come from? Do they have a life and a family? Why do they work for me? Do they suffer? I can't accept having servants. I could not enjoy paradise.
      I go outside to the garden. There is a glass wall separating it from some corridors that go around it and where normal people are circulating and going somewhere. I spot a girl I seem to know and I have a dejá vu. I feel like I have been here before and have seen that girl before in that exact place, but in a somewhat different situation, one in which I was her equal. But now I am separated by a wall, in a garden with waterfalls and she looks lonely and sad. I do something that breaks the separation and now they all can see me and come inside the garden. I try to talk to the girl, but it becomes quite chaotic with people talking in groups, mingling and hanging out. There is one one dude going around imitating a cow mooing.

      At some nice Portuguese town, on a break from some professional training I am attending but which I do not care about at all. The lady that usually assists me at the parish council, sees me and comes talk to me about how good this training is and professional opportunities that might arise from it and I'm like "oh c'mon, I dont give a shit about it and I am not even staying 'till the end". She is a bit shocked.
      I go to the next door, which is a clinic of sorts and check their vending machine at the entrance for some snacks. Also at the entrance are a few patients freaking out because the electronic system that registers the patients is down and they can't get to their appointment. I calm them down and I feel compassion for them and somehow I create the conditions for the system to be fixed.


      Then outside again I see Rinpoche coming down the street with the usual entourage and I bow down as he passes by. He enters the next door and some people enter after him and close it behind, while others stay outside guarding the entrance. I feel bold and uninhibited and I say to them I'd like to go in. They say definitely no and then they also go inside and shut the door again. So I put my hand through the door and I hear them freaking out. They still don't open. So I just cut out a hole on the door with my fingers so I can look inside. Rinpoche is in another room deeper inside. I finally manage to go inside so they let me sit at a desk alongside other people waiting for a chance to meet Rinpoche.
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