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    Lucid-schizo-dreamer

    Dream Warrior and Explorer of the Dreamplane

    1. 10 Aug: Grandma's garden turns into chinese garden, I become rich, my teacher is sick

      by , 08-10-2021 at 10:18 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      At my grandma's house in Moita, with my parents and aunt/uncle. I am reminiscing about the time my cousin said he had a cancer and did not show any worry, but I felt it was a big deal (and it was). Dad is closing the windows of the house, saying it is time to sleep and I ask if he locked the front door. He says no, so I grab the keys and he asks if I know which one to use. I say I'll find out. Turns out there is not even a door in place to close. My aunt joins me and I show her there is no door and she thinks it's no big deal. Then my mom also joins and while they figure out what happened to the door, I step out in the garden and admire how lush and chaotic it is. It grew into a full forest, but with edible plants all around too. I tell mom I'd like to move in here and she looks worried and tries to change my mind.
      I realize there is a small road passing through the garden that is being used by other people. There are rickshaws taking people through our garden. I watch as one departs empty and the conductor falls down a bridge over a stream at the end of the garden, that cracks under his feet. Other people come to his rescue. As I approach, I am no longer at my grandma's garden, this is in clearly an Asian garden in some Asian country. I'd say Chinese by the style. I then see a temple and go inside. Like in some comedy movie that I am watching, there is a funny scene where some village idiot gets into an absurd situation and somehow is face is reflected on Guru's Rinpoche statue and people think it is a miracle and pray to him. While this happens, my mom comes in looking for me and asks me to leave with her. But I am actually interested in staying and joining a prayer session starting. She complains she does not understand a word it is being said and I point out there are subtitles in the air if she pays attention, but she can't seem to catch them and is upset. I walk her to the door but say I will stay. Then I am surprised by D. Rinpoche who comes from a back room to me at the door and asks me why haven't had a child. And I am like "I don't want to". He insists "why not?". And I wonder why is it so important for him that I have a kid. I explain it is a complex mix of reasons and he asks for the main one. I reply I think Riverstone would be a bad father to my kid. He looks a bit shocked but wants to know more. Then Riverstone is at the door and we have to stop talking, so I bow down to D. Rinpoche and say farewell.

      I am rich, just inherited some hypermarket stores chain and a mansion. I am exploring my new house and it is ridiculous. I have a walk in closet the size of my actual living room and two-storey high, filled with outfits. There is also a room with a full library of comic books and rare graphic novels, and several copies of each volume. I am already thinking of selling some. All is fantastic, I am planning on having a quiet weekend enjoying my new mansion, when instead of all the people who were present, going away, more and more people are coming. Turns out one of the chain stores is right below my house and actually partially going into my house, like that library is actually part of the shop and not just for my pleasure and the walking closet is actually the clothes section, so turns out I don't have any privacy or the things to myself. I feel upset and go through some back door to what looks like a storage area. I am attacked by a really fat crocodile that comes out of nowhere. I climb something and try to stay out of his way but he keeps chasing me. I am saved by a giant toad that attacks the crocodile.

      Accidentally I turn up at some ceremony that will be lead by Rinpoche. He is coming soon and people are looking for a place to sit. The place is a narrow rectangular room, people sit on the floor with their backs against the walls and Rinpoche will sit at the end on the narrower side, on a slightly elevated stage. I get a very good place right by the side of the stage on the floor, but then realize I don't have any of the texts I will need to join in prayer, so I put down a jacket or something to mark my place and get up to go get some texts somewhere. I jump over a wall to get outside more quickly and come across Rinpoche who is just passing behind that wall. He asks me where I am going. I explain I am going to get texts and he says not to bother, and just ask the boy sitting next to him. So we go inside and the boy is sitting on the elevated stage prepared for Rinpoche. He is a very young boy, I believe a tulku, and he is sitting on the stage on a pillow and has another ready by his side. I ask him about the texts and he says he does not have extra but will share his with me and offers the pillow by his side. I am so embarrassed and I say "no, I can't sit there", but he insists, so I ask if we can at least push the pillows near the end of the stage and not be so close to Rinpoche. He indulges by moving like 20 cms to the side. I give up and sit by his side, so very self-conscious of what everybody will think. Then notice I am dressing an exquisite outfit and wearing adornments in my head I didn't had previously. Still nobody in the audience flinches and I wonder "what do they know that I don't?"
      Then Rinpoche arrives and sits on his place but before anything else, he says he has something to share. He says his cancer is back and he just found out this morning. I see people in shock but nobody moves from their places, so as I am so close I reach out to hold his hand, knowing once again this might shock people, but they don't care. Then Rinpoche comes closer and leans to me, crying a bit. I hold him in my arms and comfort him. Tell him I don't think I'll live long either, so let's live one day at a time. Then I start feeling again self-conscious and whisper to him if we can meet later alone. He says yes and nothing else.
      It is only when the ceremony ends that some Asian girl approaches me to say "when Rinpoche leaves, please follow me".
    2. 20 May: House sinking in chocolate, mad at people and rescuing a cow

      by , 05-20-2021 at 07:14 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some house, staying with dharma brothers and sisters and my teacher is there too. Can't recall details, but we've been teasing each other, while we sit at opposite couches with different posses. The house starts shaking and chaos ensues, with people jumping over the couches, not knowing where to run to. Some say it is and earthquake, others say it isn't. I go to the nearest window and I see a pit forming around the house and it is full of liquid chocolate on which the house starts to sink. I warn everybody and jump over the pit to safer ground. Then offer help to others. But some don jump and instead pass me trays of chocolate cookies and cakes through the window.
      Then I am alone with a big guy that I was nice to and he is getting too close for comfort. He looks like a big viking with orange beard, but I have to push him away. He gets mad and demands to know why I don't love him back. I say I could love him if I actually knew him and if he changed his behavior. I buy some time until there are others around, who also escaped the sinking house. They come with paintings, namely portraits of me as a goddess or Wonder Woman.
      I look gorgeous on the paintings and look at myself for comparison, I suppose. I notice my hair is dark black on the half bottom but has a light brown shade on the top half and I don't like it. So I do some coloring on the top to even out the color, but somehow I end up bleaching most of my hair. At first look, I panic, but then realize I don't look bad blonde. I also have pretty black and pink highlights in the bottom of the hair and it actually looks amazing.

      Join some event with hundreds of people in an auditorium. My Sensei is on stage talking and then he gets emotional and starts singing a song. He sucks at it, so I accidentally giggle and he is very offended. Says he is doing his best and if there are those who do better, to please come and bless us with their voice. Then he calls me and tells everybody that I am so good that maybe I'll be discovered by someone from the music industry today. Except he knows I hate crowds and singing in front of audiences and surprises. People applaud to incentivize me and I say absolutely no and refuse to go. He comes down the stage and sits really close, on the row in front of me. Someone to my right says we don't need to stay angry at each other and suggests we apologize, but he grunts, so I get up and leave. Outside, I am thinking I can't have my ASD diagnostic soon enough. Maybe then people will understand and be a little more respectful of how hard it is for me to be exposed like that in front of hundreds of people.
      Then a car passes by on the road, an old model with a big rear. The owners tied, what I assume is their dog, to the windshield wipers and are driving with him standing outside on top of the trunk. The dog seems to be enjoying, but there is a huge risk he slips and gets hang on his leash. They stop at some traffic lights and some courageous guy comes running and unties the dog. The couple inside the car starts complaining and shouts threats, but they keep driving away. We find it odd. I tell the guy they probably will come back, so I stay by his side to support him. But they don't come and instead send a drone with inbuilt communication device. It says please to tie the dog to the drone and return it. I grab the drone and yell to the mic that they have to come and get it or else fuck off. So they obviously don't care about the dog and I tell the guy to keep it. Then the guy also talks to the drone and I notice he is holding the leash, but there is no dog at the end of it. I warn him and we freak out looking for the dog. Turns out he was sitting quietly behind us and allowed me to put the leash on him again, but he had been chewing on it and that's how it broke off.

      I had a dream based on a story I had watched about this french creep guy who runs a model agency and abuses young modes. I dream I am also working for some modelling agency and the boss sexually harassed me. So I go confront him at some shop where he is supposed to be with his wife and two adult twin daughters, but he is not there. I still deliver my message to the wife and daughters. They mock me. They say my career is ruined and anyway they already received the money I owed them for quitting. I am confused, I swear I did not pay anything and I will actually demand a compensation in court. They keep laughing. A male secretary of theirs explains to me they already received a transfer from my parents after they were told I was quitting the program. I am pissed. They then taunt me that I am throwing away international fame and riches because of nothing. I say I prefer keeping my self respect and dignity and be happy than a sell-out zombie raped by that sleaze bag for any money in the world and also that there are many ways to make money in life. They are getting upset with me and stop laughing and just want me to go away. Eventually I do, I see I am not going to open up their eyes to how pathetic they are.
      I cross the road, there are trams going both ways and lots of people on the crosswalk. I see the river down the street ahead. I am supposed to go to the street on the right, but I lots of people going straight ahead in a party mode, so I follow them. Then I also come across people showing indignation and complaining about some bullfighting. By the river, I see a fence around and area with sand on the ground, clearly an improvised arena. Outside is a small stable with about 6 young male calves lined up and some people are cheering and celebrating while others are naturally mourning the faith of the young ones and petting them. I get closer to also pet them and to say prayers for them. Then I spot a female calve on the side, looking very weak and being totally ignored. I guess she is there by mistake and no one seems to care about her. I get closer and she comes to me to cuddle up and lick me. I hug her and immediately decide I need to get out of there and take her with me somehow.
    3. 31 Mar: High school friends, spirit attack, lucid explorations and meeting my teacher

      by , 03-31-2021 at 01:00 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At a high school, but I feel like just a visitor. Billie Eilish gave a concert there the previous day. Now I meet Claudia, the girl who kinda gave me the push to discover Billie, and I just realized she looks like her a lot and she even died her hair like her. She has a serious crush and I recall my own crush for Björk when I was her age. But I also like Billie and I have a song stuck in my mind and start singing it out loud. So Claudia joins me in it. She is also a singer, but like me, our paths took us different ways from a musical career and I think about how that is sad but also ok, because not everybody can be talented in the same way or doing the same thing.
      I then meet Zilla, Licas and other girlfriends from high school and they join us. We talk, we sing and we do something like an homage or invocation of someone who passed away. Then we go to the cafeteria and while we are snacking, the girls look at me scared, saying that my whole face his covered in red scars. I look in a mirror and I look like someone burned my face all around with a flaming iron. But I don't feel any pain. Then the girl to my side also shows the marks and the others freak out and try to distance themselves from us, suggesting we did something that caused that. But I am sure I didn't. Then I see the lines showing up also on their faces and someone suggests it is the spirit of the person we invoked, and that it means she never forgave us for some event in which she felt abandoned by us.
      We decide to leave and take a bus home, but as we go across the school I notice how strange it looks, like it is some medieval tavern inside a cave and I get lucid.
      I spot a slit on the cave ceiling through which sunlight shines in. I fly up and go through the slit, but I am taken to another cave, bigger, more open to the outside. It has a sandy beach inside and people having fun there. A dog jumped from a rock above and I worry that he got hurt as he fell in a zone with more rocks and not sand, but he gets up ok and the owners laugh and say he is fine. I fly higher up and enjoy the beauty of the rock formations. Then I get really outside and it is a canyon with really amazing shapes. Then I fly over a countryside landscape and I see all sorts of natural things but also crazy things, like 4 horses doing a tik tok dance, but mostly just beautiful landscape with mountains, small rural villages. And then I reach a barrier of clouds above me and when I go through it, there is nothing above, just the outer layers of the atmosphere and all of a sudden I feel scared with the idea of just floating in a totally empty space. So I go down. I land on a village and rub my hands to increase lucidity. I wonder what to do and I think about seeing my teacher. But when I do, I never get to see him. Still, I see a hotel and I go in to see if he's there. Someone does call my name but it is some old friend from Italy or France (not sure whom). He is gathered around a table with some people both in casual clothes but also some in navy and military uniforms. He asks me to join them. At the top of the table they have like a poster with a letter from the Queen of England, who is like their virtual guest of this lunch. They were invited and the food is all they can eat, paid by the Queen. I wonder what's the occasion, but I just say thanks and leave. Not my goal and I notice my strategy didn't work. So I go outside again, to rethink what to do, but lucidity fades and I wake up.


      I am at some kind of event on a tent. Some familiar faces sitting on yoga mats and cushions and also on seats disposes in an amphitheater to the back of the tent. I go outside for a bit of fresh air and give back a mat to a girl who borrowed me hers. I think it was Alicja. But some other girl comes to me a bit upset that I mixed the mats and that this one is hers instead. I apologize and as I talk to them I spot my teacher at the end of the road leading to the entrance of the tent. He is being inconspicuous and he is wearing a mask, but I spot him. I think he sees me too, but I pretend I haven't or that I didn't make a bit deal out of it. Then I lose sight of him. I go inside the tent again and the organizers are asking people to sit at some empty chairs at the top of the amphitheater area, to distribute people more homogeneously. Then I spot my teacher sitting there and some empty seats next to him. So I decide to go seat near him. I pass in front of him and sit two chairs away, because between us there is one guy. I only take a brief look, when passing in front of him and take a small bow to acknowledge his presence. Then I sit there quietly, sucking a lollipop. He also plays it cool, but once the whatever shows starts, he keeps making quick stares at me, so I also look once and we cross eyes and we just lose ourselves in it.
    4. 11 Feb: Playing with time, lucid meditation and prisoner at a fort

      by , 02-11-2021 at 11:54 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      I work in some office in the city. Somebody left a baby there. A colleague comes to me with the baby and asks if I want to adopt him. He is adorable and I kinda want to, but I remind her it's not that simple. I do accept however to look after him for the time being, until it is clear where he came from and what will happen next.
      As we leave, I am on the street with my colleague and she is holding the baby and showing me a daycare just at the end of the street, where she suggests I can leave him during the day. I sense some imminent danger as I notice we are underneath a building under construction. Somehow I rewind time, so we escape whatever accident was about to happen. That's when some agents of the Adjustment Bureau type of thing appear to me, not to chase me down and punish me, but to meet and befriend me. They too can stop time and push it back and forth. They stop everyone on the street and show me something quite irrelevant about music from a street vendor while he is frozen in time. I ask if one can in theory live forever if it spends a lot of time in this time stop bubbles. In theory they say one can live a long time as we don't age there, but we also can't do much because interfering or changing anything while there can have cosmic consequences. We can go back and change course, but not change things while they are frozen, Even stepping on a bug could be disastrous. I think it is good for meditating.

      In a retreat with my teacher. He presents a dance he practiced with a couple students. Then he selects a new group to choreograph a new dance and I am selected to be part of the group. Then he is invited by some glass artist to blow some glass to create a piece that will encapsulate his breath as a memento, and he calls me on, to add my breath to it to. But I blow too hard and destroy the piece. We start over.


      I am walking down a street and become lucid. I decide to float up and think about what to do next. I sit in meditation hovering over people on the street and try to just slide through the air to keep the scenario changing without having actively to think about it. Usually the mediation collapses the dream so I am trying to keep it going without interacting with it. But as usual it doesn't last long. Mara sends his armies to disrupt me. The sky turns dark and I see some couple bad fellas following me around with clear bad intentions. They can't fly but they are apparently pushing me past some train tracks into a garden. In that garden there is some kind of abandoned building where some more fellas are doing shady businesses with, I think, stolen materials. At first they don't seem disturbed with my presence. I even notice Evangelion among them and feel safer. But the ones that were following me push me into some long corridor that takes me to a new place. Past a door, there is a hallway in what appears to be an old fort. They close the door behind me and I keep going forward looking for the exit on the other side. But someone closes the door at the other end.Then I hear them entering through the door on to my back and clearly not with good intentions. But there are windows. They think I won't jump given the height, but I can fly and levitate so it isn't a problem to me. I go to the ledge of the window outside and just float until the ground.
      Now the context is a bit different, These guys are like a private army in a fort, they have uniforms. Outside on the ground, I stumble upon one who is secretly meeting his lady girlfriend. She is virgin and they are about to have their first sexual encounter before he goes on some mission the next day. They both get naked. The guy is played by Chris Evans, so very hot, but here he is a douchebag whom I despise. The girl is some blond actress whose name I don't recall. At first I feel like disrupting their sex and take revenge on the guy, I even pick up a spear he left on the floor and think about pinning down his balls to the ground. But I feel sorry for the girl. She really loves him and is so into the several positions they are trying . I let them be. But I steal his uniform. Then I go around the fort and pass by all the guards on the front door just for fun. A general arrives and is welcomed by another high ranking official there, who is telling him how they captured me and also have some important documents for him. I salute them and the general asks "so why is she here in a uniform" and the other guy freaks out. I kick his ass and some friends of mine arrive in a car and kidnap the general at that instant and take me along. No guards have time to react.
      After that we stop at some café to eat some cookies and have a drink. It is a kitsch but high tech place, with cute cat images and amazing interactive decorative panels with waterfall and other nature images that we can mix and match and they adjust to each other - like if we put one panel close another with a waterfall, it will prolong the waterfall.
    5. 6 Jan: Meeting my teacher at a coffeeshop

      by , 01-06-2021 at 08:50 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP


      I am sitting at a table at some coffee shop and a couple tables to my side appears my teacher. I wave and smile timidly and he waves back with a smile to. I then think I have to sit with him, so I ask him if I can sit and he says yes. We look like a couple of teenagers in love. I wanna hold his hands but I wait for a sign. He then asks me how I am doing and wants to know details of what I have been doing. I update him on my work. Then other students of his spot us and join the table. They get in the way of our conversation and I feel like he is losing interest, but then he asks me about the box. At first I have no idea what he is talking about but then kind of recall some girl contacting me about a project of a small box with a few essential food and drink items to distribute in some specific humanitarian occasion. I tell him I offered my help for the project but it didn't go forward due to some cost related problems.
    6. 22 Jul: Engaging with my teacher's attendants

      by , 07-22-2020 at 12:29 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      Attending my teacher's teachings, sitting front row. There are 3 Asian ladies, including his current partner EC, attending to his needs, but there is the rumor that I might be trying to steal their position. I assure I am not. My teacher exchanges just a few quick looks with me, his eyes eager to see me, but nothing else. Later on, some lamas or monks take me for a walk and say they heard I am an humble person and want to know if that is true. I say I am not sure and think about it for a while. I reply that I am aware of who I am but yes, I am humble in the sense I am also very aware of my character flaws and I don't feel like I am better or above anyone else. They take me to a kind of room in an attic. When I am there I recognize it is the meditation room of JKCL. I kneel on the floor and touch some pretty tiles where he sat practicing, feeling emotional. I then see a journal on a table with his notes about travels and some old pics of exotic places he went. I am met by two of the ladies from before (but not EC) and they are now being kind to me. They invite me for a weekend at some really nice place, to make plans with them about something. I accept.
    7. 14 Jun: Admiring vintage junk and my guru appears in a rainbow with a message

      by , 07-14-2020 at 02:58 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid FA / AP

      At some junkyard, with a garage full of vintage stuff. The stuff belongs to the family of a childhood friend, Renata, and she comes by while I am admiring some old fridge. She seems disturbed by my presence as if she thinks I am there to steal it. I show her that I merely came in after my dog Bernardo, who had run after other dogs. The she sees the dogs.
      Then I spot some bikers passing by and I am afraid they might hit the dogs, but everything is fine.
      At the horizon I notice a strange rainbow, with a normal arch but at the base, one of the color strips bends out, turns white and curls around the rainbow. For a while it looks like a tornado with a double helix around it. I don't feel afraid and come closer to watch it. Then like a hologram, an image of my guru appears and talks to me. Gives me blessings and instructions, like a letter sequence as NS LCSS or something that I know I will mess up when I wake up. I get closer and fold my hands and bow down and he says "I miss you" and disappears.
    8. 14 Nov: Neighbor's moving and meeting with my guru

      by , 11-14-2019 at 12:19 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      My mom's neighbor is moving in. My mom's cats and my own are by the door with me, watching. I am naked from the waist up.

      Attending teachings at some venue. I have red hair. I get to sit in front of Rinpoche. He is also naked from waist up and smiling so much. An Indian lady by my side hands me a Tibetan medicine book. The intro is done by a speaker in Spanish and we can't hear a thing.

      With Rinpoche again. Now a small group of women in a small meeting room, sitting on the floor. He is giving advice for projects and so on. I am not in any of those projects, but one lady asks me a favor to call this guy who wants to buy some machine for their organization.
    9. 12 Nov: Department store and false awakening

      by , 11-12-2019 at 03:23 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At a department store. Going through different sections, checking clothes, then latest electronics and end up in the music and film area. Not looking for anything specific, but remember to take a look for Björk albums, since I don't buy cds for years. I find a cd which I didn't know, and check the inlay booklet. Looks nice, but I think it is one of those Björk albums which I don't particularly like and I wonder if I am willing to pay whatever it costs. But there is no price tag, so I need to go to the check-out with it.


      Then I have a FA and think I am in my bedroom. It is very dark, but once again I see this little purplish orb moving around the room. It is beautiful, but it also makes me feel uneasy. Since last time my teacher told me to swallow it, my first instinct was to do so again. So when it got near the bed, I opened my mouth widely and swallowed it. It went totally dark and then I woke up or entered a dream, I am not sure.
    10. 12 Oct: Asian stranger, flowers blossoming from my body, celestial palace

      by , 10-12-2019 at 09:07 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      It's night, the light in my garage turns on and I take a peak through the window. I see a guy inside my fence, by the gate near the pine tree. I can tell he is Asian and is wearing sunglasses, which is bizarre. I knock on the window and make a face like " hey, what are you doing here?" and he runs away, exiting through the gate. I get out and go after him. As soon as I turn on the road after my house to follow him, there is a building and he goes up a central staircase, many stories high. I look up to spot him but soon I lose him because there are many other people going up and down.

      At my mom's. She is in the bathroom and I am in my old bedroom. I feel an itch on my legs and realize I have a few infected pores. As I watch it closely, more and more pores are getting weird, purplish, engorging, becoming furuncules. They grow so large, they become like mushrooms. I pop some of them. It is disgusting.
      [COLOR="#FF0000"]But I realize I am dreaming. So just for fun, I turn the mushroom furuncules into flowers. At first it is not so easy to do it, but once I get the gist, I enjoy a wave of all types of flowers in all the colors of the rainbow, sprouting through my skin and blossoming and then giving way to other flowers. It is ticklish, I really feel them bursting out and growing, it is a strange and wonderful sensation. Also it is so incredibly beautiful to watch. As a final touch, I look to the palms of my hands and visualize a lotus flower blossoming in each of them. They do appear, one white lotus in each hand, first the leafs, then the flowers opening. Then I feel so light and glowy and I naturally start floating. I want to cross the wall and fly away but my mom calls for me and I turn back, because I don't want to scare her, even if it's in a dream. On the hallway I find my friend Belchior instead of my mom. He smiles at me, doesn't say a word and I realize there is nothing keeping me here. I keep floating on air and I feel like I am expanding in size. The ceiling can't contain me. I cross through the wall and ceiling and I am floating outside. Not like flying with effort or conscientiously, just standing weightless in the air. I can see my feet. Then I see a golden throne set up in the middle of the street in front of my mom's building. I float towards it and notice a golden Buddha statue which I touch and then I am inside four walls. It is an all white and gold room, marble floors and walls, rich golden curtains and sofas and beautiful big Buddha statues everywhere, in gold or white stone, in Tibetan, Thai and other styles. There is a panoramic window to a garden outside and passageways to other rooms. An Asian man comes in in servants clothing and welcomes me. Then a few ladies also appear, with foods to serve or just offering their services. I am a bit overwhelmed and then two beautiful cats come strutting in my direction. This feels like heave and I feel that I could stay here forever and just be pampered. But why and for what? Then I wonder where this servants come from? Do they have a life and a family? Why do they work for me? Do they suffer? I can't accept having servants. I could not enjoy paradise.
      I go outside to the garden. There is a glass wall separating it from some corridors that go around it and where normal people are circulating and going somewhere. I spot a girl I seem to know and I have a dejá vu. I feel like I have been here before and have seen that girl before in that exact place, but in a somewhat different situation, one in which I was her equal. But now I am separated by a wall, in a garden with waterfalls and she looks lonely and sad. I do something that breaks the separation and now they all can see me and come inside the garden. I try to talk to the girl, but it becomes quite chaotic with people talking in groups, mingling and hanging out. There is one one dude going around imitating a cow mooing.

      At some nice Portuguese town, on a break from some professional training I am attending but which I do not care about at all. The lady that usually assists me at the parish council, sees me and comes talk to me about how good this training is and professional opportunities that might arise from it and I'm like "oh c'mon, I dont give a shit about it and I am not even staying 'till the end". She is a bit shocked.
      I go to the next door, which is a clinic of sorts and check their vending machine at the entrance for some snacks. Also at the entrance are a few patients freaking out because the electronic system that registers the patients is down and they can't get to their appointment. I calm them down and I feel compassion for them and somehow I create the conditions for the system to be fixed.


      Then outside again I see Rinpoche coming down the street with the usual entourage and I bow down as he passes by. He enters the next door and some people enter after him and close it behind, while others stay outside guarding the entrance. I feel bold and uninhibited and I say to them I'd like to go in. They say definitely no and then they also go inside and shut the door again. So I put my hand through the door and I hear them freaking out. They still don't open. So I just cut out a hole on the door with my fingers so I can look inside. Rinpoche is in another room deeper inside. I finally manage to go inside so they let me sit at a desk alongside other people waiting for a chance to meet Rinpoche.
    11. 24 Aug: Rap competition at a bar, kissing my love

      by , 08-24-2019 at 09:48 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At a foreign country attending some teachings. I feel a bit lost, but I meet some lady who seems nice to hang with. At lunch time I go to a place identical to one of the restaurants of a Mexican resort I have been, expecting to find lunch there. But I don't see any tables or people. This lady shows me there is a terrace on a lower level, where people actually are having lunch. She takes me to the buffet, but then we can't find a place to sit. She says she knows another nice place by the river. But it implies crossing a road with traffic and jumping over a tall fence, which forces us to climb first over a broken wall. But we manage. On the other side she takes us to a bar instead. Not what I expected and we continue not having a place to sit. But there are snacks and I eat standing. Meanwhile she grabs a cigar and starts smoking. I am starting to think she isn't exactly giving what I expected from her and maybe following her around was not a good idea. But in the process we tagged along two other cool guys, a middle eastern and a black dude.
      Then there is a rap competition on the bar and someone points out that we should listen to a certain asian lady with a guitar. She thinks she can rap but they assure us it will be a disaster. We listen and she really sucks. Not only she raps to a melody on the guitar but she kinda sings instead of just rapping and also very badly, so it doesn't make any sense. Meanwhile I notice my dad is there and so is her mother. I comment to my dad that even I can sing better than that and he agrees. Then the judges totally destroy her and also attack her mother for not having been truthful and telling her daughter she sucked. She says she thought she should always encourage her. The girl is confused, she really believes she is talented. In the end, the mother makes a sweet statement showing her unconditional support to her daughter and everybody cries, even my dad, but he leaves to hide the tears.
      Then my immortal beloved comes out of nowhere and is also there commenting the music. He takes me to another room, where we are alone. But he looks very cool and distant, just talking about musical technicalities. I don't understand what's up and I am completely fixated in his eyes, trying to read his real thoughts. He starts blushing and stuttering. I realize I broke the barrier. I take two steps towards him. Don't do anything besides being damn close to him and still fixated in his eyes. He tries to go back to a discursive thought but he can't. He just breaks down and leans to kiss me. It is magical how completely vulnerable and lost he appears to be. The kiss is the most realistic one I've experienced in my dreams with him so far.
    12. 22 Aug: My guru throws me a grenade and fire in a festival in Brazil

      by , 08-22-2019 at 10:12 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      I pass through a small secondhand fair. One lady is annoyingly wanting me to buy a book collection from her. I get away and enter a war game simulation area. But it turns real pretty quickly, as soon as I realize the bullets shot are real ammunition. I pick a gun from a guy on the ground, presumably dead and I go upstream along a river. End up in a garden with people dancing. No war here. But I was followed by a guy that threatens everybody with a grenade. He arms it and throws it at me. I try that trick from the movies, of kicking it away. But then Rinpoche comes out of nowhere once again, catches it and after throwing me a defying look, throws it back at me. I feel like "Whaaaat?" and panic a little bit. But almost immediately realize, with my absolute trust in my guru, that this grenade represents no danger and that I can do whatever with it. So I hold it in my hands and try to turn it into a lotus flower. Unfortunately all I succeed in doing is turning it into sort of a flower made of rags. I feel disappointed, but then Rinpoche approaches me and turns these rags into a tent and invites me to step inside it with him.

      With my parents having vacations in Brazil. We go to some festival which is in a semi rural and forested area in the outskirts of a little town. Soon after we arrived, we start seeing smoke from distant fires in the forest. We discuss how it might get dark sooner because of it. But we think we're safe. It seems very distant.
      I see banners from locals supporting Bolsonaro and I feel angry. I make a nasty comment and some man hears and he's not happy. I tell him that I love Brazil and its people, but I just can't accept that man they chose for president. Later we're walking through a street with restaurants and I spot some curtains of a place, on fire. Then look around and also see some vegetation on fire. As I raise the alarm, we notice there are fires spreading a bit everywhere, from sparks coming through the air from far away. We decide to grab our things and leave this area before it gets serious. But general panic ensues and to make things worse, as we head to the car in the parking lot at the entrance of the venue, there are landslides and large boulders falling onto the road we're taking and people are getting blocked. For a while I lose my parents in the crowd, but soon after my mom appears. As we find a safe way out, she complains about the things I chose to bring on our backpack and I don't get why she is commenting that until I realize we can't go back to our tent to get most of our stuff that we left behind and I feel awful for that.
    13. 07 Aug: Mountain hike and cornucopia with a message

      by , 08-07-2019 at 06:22 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening


      On vacation with friends. They go hike up a mountain. I was also planning to go, but I miss it for some reason. Look at it from a distance. Don't want to give up. I find some Asian group renting a transport to go there and I go with them.
      With my friends on top of mountain, there is an earthquake, we head for some type of railcar that goes downhill. But half way we see a river of lava flowing to our right side and crossing the rails a bit ahead of us. At that time some kids in very primitive clothing come out from the jungle around us and signal a stone platform where it is safe for us to jump to. When we are safe we follow them into the jungle. They never speak and when we try to talk to them, they get silently angry. They live in a small village and welcome us into different houses. The whole town is silent and soon we learn why. The forest is filled with dinosaurs and they keep this place secret by staying silent, since the dinosaurs don't naturally wander into this place except they know they're there.

      With friends at a table. On another table is Rinpoche with other people. One of them comes tell me to go to that table and meet Julie A.. I get up and realize I am topless, but I just use my long hair to cover my breast. When I am there I can't even see Rinpoche properly as he is surrounded by so many people. But Julie hands me a kind of cornucopia shaped tube with something written on it. Some note telling me to take what's inside. But it is empty! Except when I go back to my table, when magically it becomes heavy and filled with some liquid that I almost completely spill - manage to drink a bit. Then some sort of biscuits appear and I eat a few. Seems dog food. I offer the rest to a dude passing by walking a bunch of dogs, for the benefit of the dogs. Then I try to read what else is written on the tube, but it becomes nonsensical and each time I read it, it changes.
      Then I remember it might be because I am dreaming, I get lucid but unfortunately I wake up.

      Updated 08-07-2019 at 07:07 PM by 34880

      Categories
      lucid , non-lucid , dream fragment
    14. 06 Aug: Claustrophobia, lucid in a Spanish town and killing a dragon

      by , 08-06-2019 at 07:04 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      Attending Rinpoche's teachings but I am extremely sleepy. At some point I even get up and take a break. When I come back Rinpoche is gone.
      The teachings are followed by nightly entertainment. Some girl comes to me with silly talk and I yell at her that all that is total bullshit, but I am not angry, more like amused with whatever she said. We see a pretty light display in the sky. Laser projections of a spaceship flying among planets and other cute things. The display is attracting people uphill through a dirt road. it is very dark, no electric lights. Then the path ends at some kind of three walled dead end with soviet movies being projected on the wall. It's cool, until a huge number of people keep coming uphill and pushing the ones already at the dead end. People start to panic, feeling claustrophobic, pushing each other. I feel panic too but I believe there is some door somewhere and after a while I find a door at the corner to my left. We open it and people start exiting with relief. Outside is actually an inside of a venue and there are people looking at the panel with info by the door, about the exhibition we just came from. They want to come in, but we tell them not to, that people are actually needing to get out from there.

      Morning and people are departing on different buses. I am on a bus already leaving and see some familiar faces outside, sitting on the sidewalk waiting for a different bus. I see monks leaving the venue in another direction.
      Then I get lucid and get rid of the backpack I have on my lap. Accidentally, I hit a lady on her head with it, but I realize that if I don't care because she is a dream character, she will not react. And surely she doesn't. I get up from my sit and simply get through the glass window, but don't fly away. Instead I hang in the there, in the window frame, feeling the wind and enjoying the landscape. The bus is crossing a very high bridge and it's very vertiginous, but I like it. I make the bus go steeply up and down like a roller-coaster just for fun. The other passengers don't seem very please, but I keep reminding that they aren't real. Then the bus passes by a Bullfighting museum and I get the impression we are in Spain. I get out of the bus and get in the museum and start trashing it all using only telekinesis and chi blasts. It's very satisfying. Especially seeing the visitors of such dreadful place being blasted away. As I go deeper into this place, I pass some kind of patio with really beautiful stone floor, but the stones are very uneven and I am barefoot. I make some shoes appear on my feet and go deeper. Pass to a weirder area of this building, sort of descending to its catacombs and it gets sinister.[/COLOR] Most rooms I avoid, as they look familiar and I sense very creepy energy in them. Then I see a long staircase descending deep into the earth. The stairs and the walls look very organic. I sense danger too, but do not feel so much fear. I am attacķed by a dragon coming from the depths. I find some knight armors and other stuff lying around and I think I kill the dragon. Some weird creature, like an elf appears and says because I killed the dragon I am the heir of some saint or knight that fought dragons.
      Then I find an exit to outside and I am at a train station, clearly at some Mediterranean town. Very pitoresque, very peaceful, very soothing. The weather is extremely nice but very cloudy. The clouds are luminous and the air is very light. I feel like singing and dancing and without any agenda, I just make love with the air and everything around me. I think of the guru and feel that he is all around me.
    15. 23 Jul: Earthquake at my mom's and Indian goddess again

      by , 07-23-2019 at 09:35 PM (Lucid-schizo-dreamer)
      non-dream dream semi-lucid lucid false awakening

      At my moms, although a slightly different house. It is in the middle of a city. But still at the top floor. On her room is my late grandma, still alive, laying in bed. I am with her. On the next room is my mom, my dad and some other relatives. The wall separating the two rooms cracks horizontally. My dad thinks the house will crack more and I think there has to be a reason behind it. That's when everything starts shaking. Through the window we see other buildings shaking violently and breaking apart. My dog Soraia is with us, I keep her near. Parts of our house start to collapse, like some outer walls. My grandma on the bed falls down with part of the room. My mom cries in panic. I suggest we all move to under the doorstep. When finally things are more stable, we assess the damages in the house. After the shock I say it is time to go outside because is dangerous to stay. My mom offers to go down the building's staircase and I say it should be me going, because I think it is dangerous for her. She insists and I warn her that she might find dead people. We hear a child cry somewhere on the floors below. She goes anyway. I gather my cats on a crate. Fairly easy to do except for Cuscus which forces me to go to the collapsed room looking for him. Meanwhile my mom returns, says the stairs are blocked 2 floors below. Couldn't find the child. We consider staying there until rescue comes but it might take weeks and it is not safe. So we find there is a connection between the roof to other rooftops of buildings that fell over each other. Through there I find ta way for us to reach the street. Most people seem disoriented but we find a group which seems to have a plan and knows where to go. I consider we join them. Then I am warned that some bad dudes are trying to steal one of my pets from where I left them in crates, near a car. But it is not a cat they are taking away, it is a falcon. I run and insult them but eventually the falcon flies away and escapes them. Then I call him back and he lands on my arm.


      With friends, at some ancient site, like a temple or palace, awaiting for our Guru's teachings. As we wait for info about what's going to happen, Rinpoche drops by and hands over a bunch of papers with poems. He says we should go make copies, distribute them and study the texts. Then he turns away to leave, but our eyes cross and I understand I should follow him. I follow him through a corridor, I stop seeing, everything is dark and then it's like I enter another time and dimension. The floor is covered in flowers and on both sides of the aisle there are people throwing flower petals and offering precious substances. I spot Rinpoche again at the end of this path and at the entrance of a private garden area. When we are there alone, we kiss. He becomes a young, athletic, beautiful prince, with long hair with a bit tied up on top of his head. I also turn into an Indian looking princess-like beauty with a vaporous white dress. We enjoy the sensual delights of being alone and free to love in this solitary magical retreat. Apparently for a long undisturbed time. We have a son. At some occasion I am bathing in a lake and playing with my boy. From a short distance, I see my love looking at us, very serious. He is majestic and he carries a dagger in his right hand. As he walks towards me, I get in some kind of horny surrendering trance. I get out of the water and I lay down on a stone surface and welcome him in my arms. He lays down with me. But he is talking very seriously about people in some other time and dimension. He says with aggravation that they will at some point stop going to temples and looking for us. They will instead go to shopping and movies and other mundane things and we will have to be with them, among them, doing those things with them, for them. Then I black out and start drifting in what I would describe as the multiverse, a dark void where a myriad of universes are laid out in an infinite geometrical matrix and I see them unfolding in their infinite diversity, overwhelmed.

      Updated 07-24-2019 at 10:30 PM by 34880

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment
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