• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views

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    1. Feb 22 to 23 Dreams (few short LD's, dream song)

      by , 02-24-2018 at 04:38 PM
      Here are visual DJ entries that I am trying out:
      Part 1 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ReSpYoArgiY
      Part 2 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N1oZ_ySfYIQ

      Here are the dreams from Feb 22 to 23.

      First round of dreams.

      The earliest thing I remember from these dreams is something with fighting with my Uncle. I remember seeing his face up close. But I had to get up to use the bathroom before I could fully recall the dream.

      After that there was a part where I was in my room in my old house. My Dad, mom and sister were all there. I remembered more about the parts of my old house after remembering later parts of the dream which is always nice. I was looking in the mirror in my bed room. I was flexing or something like that and then I realized my door was open and I didn't want anyone to see me flexing. I went and laid down in my bed. I was laying down to rest but I thought the bed was too hard. At first it felt like a rock but then it softened a good amount.

      There was something about how I was going out later at night, like a little past 7. But past dark. And then my Dad would have to come pick me up late at night and drive me home. There was a football and track field to my left in the visual of this part. And part of the town I was in. My Dad was telling me that if I went somewhere at night, I would have to balance it and only go a few nights a week, not every night. Because it was a lot of work for him to do all that driving. I started telling him and my mom that I already have enough activity in my life and I don't need the thing after 7. In fact on the other nights, I fall asleep around 7 anyway, so I must need the sleep on the other nights too. So I could just go to bed and then they wouldn't have to take me anywhere. My Dad told me that I could go a few nights a week but I said, you know what, I really think it would be healthier if I just got the sleep I needed.

      I was walking through the sidewalk of this city place and there was like a couple who was walking together. The girl was throwing her coffee on the guy but it was not an attack. It was more like just a joke. The town or city place had light grey side walks and grey buildings. More stuff happened there but I wasn't able to remember it.

      After that I was in this kind of mall place. E R, M B and M M, 3 girls from my high school, were there. It was like all the girls who lived on this one road while we were growing up so maybe it was S F instead of M M. I was saying that they look great and I was happy to see them. D F appeared off to the side but she was with a guy so I didn't really talk to her as much. I didn't actually get the words out that they all look nice due to shy ness or feeling like it is weird to say that to a whole group of women instead of individually.

      Then there was a part where we were all filling out this form. I had to put a G P A on it on the bottom left. I was going to just joke around and put the highest possible score or even higher than possible G P A scores just to be funny because I am already done with school.

      Then we were sitting around a pool table or an upside down shelf table with slats facing up. It seemed to morph from one to the other. M S was there, and he had a girl friend but I think she was not actually there. Just an understanding that he had a girl friend. M M was there and M S's mom. It was some kind of party.
      They had filled up balloons with helium so they floated and my Nana had also filled up some balloons for us. Someone was asking how we made all those balloons.

      Someone was giving advice about how to quit cigarettes by having some kind of purple and orange pie in the morning instead of a cigarette. I was thinking to myself how that didn't really seem like it would work because the cigarette would overwhelm the pie thing. But I didn't want to be a downer and discourage M M who was the one trying to quit smoking. Maybe if she believed in it, it could work for her. M M was sitting right next to one head of the table where L C was, and then an empty seat, then M S, then one more seat, then head of table, then 3 or 4 people along the other side of the table.

      There was a part where I was walking around that table. I was going to sit between M M and M S. I started to put down my plate or my stuff at that table place but then realized M M was quitting smoking so I don't want to sit near her. So I moved to the other side of M S kind of on the corner of the table. Initially I was going to sit with her because I like her but then I decided it wouldn't be a good relationship due to her smoking. I don't think she smokes in waking life but I haven't seen her in years.

      As I walked around the table counter clock wise, there were one or two really big quarters on the ground. I picked them up and threw them on the table when it was a pool table. I thought they belonged to M S.

      Something about shoveling up snow near a local food store? .

      Then in the room with the table it was time to go for a swim. Then there was a part about how things in the dream world are the same for everyone, just using different symbols. Like the symbols were kind of similar too just the equivalents from different cultures. I was telling everyone how a swim is great but a surprise swim makes it even better. I wasn't expecting to have the chance to swim that day. People agreed.

      Then my sister came in through a glass door at the front of the room. She had a big box with a cake in it. She was wearing a big puffy coat. I felt bad that my sister got there because she had to walk all that way. I was thinking how she could have asked me to drive her and I would have been glad to. I couldn't eat the cake due to processed sugar and flour. But I was thinking I will just put the cake in front of me like a decoration.

      Well, that was actually good dream recall. I wished that some more of the details had stuck with me but overall it was pretty good dream recall for the first dream. Especially even after having to get up. So my dream recall muscle is definitely improving. I think waking life recall journaling is helping a lot.

      For some reason I woke up thinking I wouldn't need to dream journal because I would dream the exact same thing as yesterday. Of course like any other night I had fresh new dreams tonight.

      I had some mild lucidity in these next dreams. The first one I remember is that I was outside this office building. G A was working there. It was red orange marble in the whole place. There was a mattress against the wall in the main lobby. It was like where the Post Office is in L V. I saw G A go by and up the stairs. I thought I should talk to him. I didn't go all the way up the stairs. I saw a quarter on my way back down the stairs and realized I was dreaming. I am not sure why the quarter made me get lucid. It was just kind of a spontaneous Dialed. I got down the stairs somehow, maybe walked or flew, and then I decided that it would be cool to talk to G A in my L D. So I started to look for him. He was going back down the stairs so I started to follow him. But then I felt the dream would collapse if I tried to do anything. It was very fragile. So, I changed my mind and decided not to go after him. I had to keep the L D going. I tried to rub my hands but it didn't work. I woke up from the dream into semi sleep paralysis and thought it through until luckily another dream started.

      In the new dream, I started out non lucid. But then I realized it was a dream somehow. I forgot exactly how, it just kind of dawned on me. So I went over to the next room and there were 3 people on a couch. One was a woman wearing blue. They were watching something in Spanish. I tried to talk to them in Spanish to ask them to help me relax in the dream. Como se relaxar? Something like that. Probably not the exact word in Spanish. They didn't understand me. I thought to rub my hands but I didn't think of spinning.

      I woke up from that dream, too. But another dream began. This one I was on a computer at the start but I didn't realize it was a dream. I think it jumped quickly to another dream.

      There was this one really abstract seeming part. Someone had a bed in a gazebo thing outdoors. They were rolling to their other side in the bed, as if they were rolling over in their sleep. It wasn't me. But I had the sense that within the dream I was out of body from that person's body. And it was interesting seeing "my own" body move from outside of it. That was just a short dream fragment.

      In the next dream, I was in the room I lived in as a kid, at my Nana's. I was on a computer that had a picture of those three people I tried speaking to in Spanish from earlier in the dream. I was looking at it like, oh, cool, there is actually a picture of them from my dream. But I thought it was waking life already. So I thought it was cool to have a picture of people from my dream. (This is why asking how did I get here? and do I remember waking up this morning? are things I need to practice more. ) I realized I was dreaming though within moments and so again I was like, okay, let's try to stabilize this one. This song came on that went, "I'm dreaming, I'm dreaming" and some other words. That is pretty cool. The lyrics to the whole song were on the computer screen. I was able to make sense of them within the dream. They were clearly written words. But, I wasn't able to remember them once I had woken up. I almost thought I would remember them. I felt like the dream was showing me the lyrics too fast for me to be able to remember them. I realized I need to stabilize the dream so i tried a finger palm test. It didn't really go through. Then I started to wake up, and the dream collapsed.

      I fell asleep again while thinking through those. I think i might have had more dreams after but I didn't remember any for some reason. Maybe it wasn't a dreaming part of the sleep cylce. I had more dreams after that.

      I dreamed that I was with some people looking for an S N L actor. Something like a consultant and a web site with different things. It was hard to read but it said, weld, weld, weld, number, weld, weld. I could make out the words if I really tried. I don't think I was lucid in this one though. I got lucid again a little later. Something with a coat hanger. Then he was on a pay phone.

      Then I was in a room that felt like my current room. I was setting a grey framed glass digital clock to a certain alarm. It said 4:01 and there were dots for A M or P M. I tried to switch it to 4:01 P M but was afraid that I might be napping at that time. So I wanted to turn the alarm completely off but I couldn't see how. I switched it to 2:01 P M and it said 16 hours later, even though it was 4:01 A M. Something about the math seemed unusual but it didn't quite trigger lucidity.

      So then I was going out to the driveway to throw out garbage. I had some pants with me and an old plant. The driveway was oriented differently though, more like L V R C's driveway than my current driveway. I was bringing out a dead stalk from my indoor mint plant and I noticed some of the leaves looked more alive than usual. I wondered if it had come back to life. I jammed the clipping into the soil along the side of the drive way. It went in alright even though I was expecting the ground to be frozen. Then my pants were by this puddle of mirky water near the curb. I went in the water to get them and it was waist deep. I realized this water was very gross. I thought it was waking life but I wished it was a dream. When I woke up my physical bed, it turned out it was! .

      In the next dream, some cool stuff happened, and I became lucid. So as it started, I was at the Arboretum, near the deck thing where you can see frogs from. I was on a computer trying to work some computer program. I was also on the phone bridge and I heard some people talking. I remember looking at the time and it was around when that meeting usually ended. I was not happy about it because it meant I was up too early. Then it kind of reset and I was going through it again. This time it was 6:40 A M or so and F was talking about a business meeting. The moderator who I figured was A replied something about how we all want to labour. It wasn't quite her voice though but she usually moderated on Fridays. So then I think I realized it was a dream somehow. Maybe F didn't sound like himself or something. It was funny though because I thought of 6:35 A M which was when the meeting ended on business meeting days.

      So I think this was when I became lucid. I flew up into the sky and got dream blindness. But I could still feel myself flying. Then I kind of landed. I was trying to think of what dream goals to go for. The dream was playing this audio thing of all these ideas of dream goals which was kind of cool. I had a tupperware full of "sand mud" and so I ate some of that. It tasted bad so I spit it out. One of the dream goals that came to mind was to blast a huge stream of colorful orbs out of my mouth. So I tried to open my mouth and sort of project energy into doing that, but nothing happened. I really tried very hard to make colorful orbs shoot out of my mouth, over the pond with the geyser thing.

      At one point I also thought of peeing in the dream. I think I felt my physical body needing to go. But I decided that I wouldn't wake myself up for that. I would just hold it or try to ignore it. It went away.

      The dream answered my request in an indirect way by making a truck full of orange basketballs appear. I jumped into it and was hanging off the edge of the outside of the truck. Then I got back in. Then I was sitting in the back of the truck. Other people were sitting there eating at a table.

      I heard a song I knew or thought I heard earlier in the dream. I was glad to hear it again because I would have a chance to try to remember it. The first line was, "My friends describin' me, I'm an alligator in a tall, tall, tall sea," or, "My friends providin' me, I'm an alligator in a tall, tall, tall tree," but I wasn't sure which. I think it was the first one because thats what I said on my voice recorder. The words continued but I realized that if I tried to memorize the whole thing in one listen, it wouldn't work. So I talked over the sound level of the dream song by just repeating that one line of the song to myself. In doing this, I memorized it. I figured I better catch the one sentence instead of nothing. Then I could catch the rest of the song in later dreams if it ever played again.

      This dream made me really inspired to see if I could make a song out of lyrics I hear within dreams. Without adding any of "my" own lyrics.

      Also, in the physical world, it was Friday morning. Within my dream I was aware of that and I was glad I had taken the garbage out last night, so that I could stay in the dream, without having to worry about the garbage not being taken out.

      In my last dream I was in this grey factory place. A guy from a T V show was flying a plane. I didn't actually see him but the dream kind of told me telepathically what T V character it was. They were going to drop a missile on this big grey factory tower we were in but then they changed their plans so they would freeze us into the building first. I could see shiny blue ice all over this place like it was cartoon ice, with the icicles. I saw this grey receptionist desk type of thing from a frontal view and Ask Ketchum was at the desk. It was all dark grey. Ash was looking over at the ice and pointing to it.

      I was attempting to DEILD or WILD from this dream but I couldn't stop my mind. I am becoming more aware of how my mind actually keeps my body from going into sleep and dreaming mode.
    2. Feb 20 to 21 dreams - lucid of flying on a flying house toward space, 3 moons

      by , 02-21-2018 at 08:29 PM
      Here were my dreams. Lucid parts in this color/bold.

      First round of dreams. A little came back to me after I laid back down.

      Something with a dimensional Bug. something with my friends brother T S. T S wanted to go somewhere and I wanted to help him but it wasn't the right time.

      I had an audio player that was supposed to be for sale. I was supposed to be able to get a lot of money for it because it would gain a lot of value over time. i was excited to realize I had such a valuable thing. I couldn't really sell it because it would keep gaining value.

      There was something about my car. I was parking it in the R A parking lot in G C but I wasn't supposed to. I think I was leaving the car there to go somewhere else.

      Going up this hill. There was a woman saying stuff along the way that I didn't agree with. There was a woman who was a smoker. She was saying, you're not exploding now. I said, well, I don't smell it, so, good job. (I usually get angry when I am subjected to other peoples cigarette smoke and this comes up a lot in my dreams. )

      Something about a lady talking about a cult when I was around this part with the trees.

      I had some trouble getting back to sleep, but eventually, I did.

      Here is the next dream. I am watching something on television within the dream. Well, I am actually participating in something within the television but then later I find I am actually outside the T V watching it from my bed in my room. I realized it was a dream. I gained some control of myself within the T V screen world.

      Within the T V screen part, I was involved in a conflict with some people. I didn't want to continue the conflict so once I became lucid I sort of held myself back from continuing the conflict. There were 3 other people in the room. I don't remember it that well other than that.

      Okay so then after that, I saw that I was in my bed, not in the T V screen any more. Somehow I still knew it was a dream though. The change in scenery didn't make me think I had woken up into physical world. It took some effort to get my body up out of bed but it felt like really getting my body up out of bed almost. I got up towards the front right corner of my bed. My dream journal chair wasn't where it usually is. The blankets were still blue and my room was a really close replica of physical world. I put my hand easily through my room door. I don't think it was astral projection but it could have been some kind of a mix of an L D and an A P. I was scared to go out of my room or explore more.

      Then my vision went away. This scared me at first but I just told myself to just relax. I spun but it felt different than in other dreams when I had done it. Next thing I knew I was floating up into the air. I thought of the ceiling of my room and felt myself easily pass through it. Then I thought of the attic, and the roof of the house, and felt myself easily pass through those. My vision returned and I was in the night sky, flying on a giant flying house. I was holding on to a big brick chimney on the side of the flying house and I seemed to be able to drive the thing. I wasn't able to look at the sky for some reason, but I could see a long row of identical houses all lit up when I looked down and to my left. I tried not to make anything a problem. For example if I couldn't see, I just relaxed. If I couldn't look up, I just looked where I could.

      At first I was scared to be flying but it turned out to be fun.

      Eventually the flying house tilted and I could look up. I saw a bunch of big stars and a night sky. And I saw 3 full moons! . The flying house flew me closer to one moon and it zoomed in a lot. It looked more like a lattice arrangement of white bars from close up. The house was doing a great job of flying. I was aware that from my waking life I had some factors in play for good lucid, dreaming and I felt confident that the dream could last long. I asked the house to please fly me up into outer space. We started flying up into the atmosphere and I felt the house slow down. i got scared and thought I might be pushing it too hard. I was flying above a big dark body of water at this point and I didn't want to fall in. I was afraid it would either be cold, or scary. (As I think about it now, deep sea exploration was another one of my L D goals so that would have been fine with me!. )

      I asked the house if it would like to turn around and go take a break before we try again to go to space. I really thought that there would be enough dream duration and continuity for me to get back on the flying house and go to space after I landed and did some other things. I forgot about my shorter dream attention span and I forgot to use any stabilization methods so I didn't get a chance to fly back out. But here is what happened in the rest of the dream anyways. Also, I did think that even if I fell in the water, I could get out or just be fine in the water. But I guess I wanted my best chance to get to space.

      The flying house brought me back to the beach. I thanked the house and then sat down in the sand to play with the sand. I guess that was kind of a stabilization technique because I was engaging the dream. I decided to try to recall the dream so far so I'd remember it better. So within the dream I started to tell myself out loud about what had happened so far. It was pretty clear. Then I started to eat some of the sand. It got stuck in my mouth and I had to spit it out. I was in this jungle gym thing made of metal bars. I heard two women nearby talking about how someone had just smoked and they didn't like it. I knew they weren't talking about me. But I felt bad that they had to see me spitting out the sand like that, so I went to go apologize. It seemed to take a moment for them to hear me. They had two little kids with them. There were also two dogs, one brown, one black, both with spiky looking fur. I didn't see the dogs faces but I looked at the dog's back a while figuring out what it was. When I looked closer, their faces were covered in tan dirt or sand. They said something like, "Its okay, It didn't bother us," but I still wanted to apologize very apologetically. I also wanted to tell them about my dream so far which is something I like to do within the dream to help my recall.

      I think before the dream ended, I was in this room. And I was wishing that instead of thinking the house was tired, I could have said, come on, flying house, I believe in you! And my power of belief could have helped the house be able to fly to space easily. Like maybe I projected doubt onto the house instead of confidence.

      Then the dream sort of collapsed or faded away and I was back in my bed. my body felt very heavy and pretty much paralyzed. I thought through the dreams and then flicked on my voice recorder to record them once I was ready. I felt this would be a good warm up L D and hoped for another chance to L D in the next dreams.

      I got another L D in these dreams but I lost lucidity. It was cool while it lasted though. I guess I didn't reach very high levels of lucidity, but just like a low level lucidity.

      I had a dream where I was writing down a dream. I put a big piece of a chocolate cake in a bucket of water. My black earmuffs were there. Meg and Dad were there. There was something about how I had to choose the fonts to type a video. I brought the water with chocolate cake in it over to the kitchen. The red knife was there too.

      In the last dream there was a lot of stuff.

      The first thing I remembered was getting some kind of garlic pills or garlic powder. I was in the back seat of a car with my sister. We were talking. The back seats were tannish brown. I didn't fully remember this part.

      Earlier on in it, there was a part when my Mom was there and she found out I was into lucid, dreaming. So she was kind of getting on my case about what good is lucid, dreaming and why don't you just get a regular engineering job. Every time she asked me one of those hard questions, I would get up, go for a walk with my headphones on, and come back to her with an answer. But then she would ask another hard question. I think i was lucid during this portion but I don't really remember that much or how lucid I was. If I was lucid, I was thinking how it is cool that the dream is giving me this chance to deal with these challenging issues and that I should try to engage my dream mom. I almost didn't want to deal with it though.

      I was telling my mom about how I had something in a dream and she was like, you had what? But I was like, no, it was in a dream, not waking life. But she still made a big deal of it. Something about a couch.

      In another scene, there was a friend of my Nana's at the head of the table. She had something that looked like a cigarette in her mouth but it wasn't. I was like, is that a cigarette? Because it would undermine my Nana's cigarette quit. But she was like, no, and showed me what it was. It was a lollipop or a pen or something more abstract, I don't fully remember.

      I was at this ice skating park. I was giving a woman a piggy back ride in my ice skates or roller skates.

      I was going up to a basketball court and saw one kid who looked like A S and another smaller guy who looked like A S. I was like, look, it is both "A S's"! .

      I was in this room with one prominent lucid dreaming author and researched. I called him Dr. so and so as we stood in a big square formation of people and held hands. The whole room was holding hands, not just us. But the lucid dream teacher told me not to call him doctor, just call him by his first name. I thought that was pretty cool of him but insisted I call him doctor.

      Also, in that room, I saw S S D, a teacher from high school who taught spanish. I was happy to see him because he was a teacher who always inspired me a lot.

      In a next part I went into this under ground cavern thing that was like an under ground office. There were some kind of fraternity guys there getting ready to do some kind of computer thing where everything had to be really precise. Some kind of magic card thing or something. At one point I went down there to get something I had left there but they said I couldn't be there. I forgot it again and had to go back again to get it. It was weird climbing in and out of there. The last time I went down and got my dinner, I climbed back up. It was very late. It was raining really hard. I was surprised I hadn't eaten yet considering it was so late.

      Then I was walking down the main road in my town by the C S Deli. This guy with longer hair walked by, from the grocery store, and someone else was saying how he shouldn't leave his truck over where he left it accross the road. Next thing I knew, someone was getting in his truck and driving off with it. They slammed their own grocery bags in the door of the truck. The truck looked orange, yellow, pink or green. it was kind of like a big van type of thing. The guy seemed annoyed that they stole his truck. So we were going to try to get his truck back. White grocery bag in door of truck.

      I was helping the guy get his truck back. I was walking down the road he lived on and passed some really interesting colored houses. THere were two brick houses. On the second brick house to my left, I talked to a couple. They were a bit older. The man, sitting on the left, said something like, you don't want to go to that guy's house. Something about how the neighbors didn't like him. But I didn't let that stop me. i wanted to help the guy since I had witnessed the incident.

      I was at this hard ware store looking for the truck. There was a barrel of shovels that had some different monetary amounts and a time slot posted on each shovel. Like a few shovels said, 12 to 1 P M, 55 dollars an hour. 10 to 11 A M, 40 dollars and hour. I figured they were different prices for guys to work on someone's house depending what hour they got. The shovels were different colors. We were in a van or a go cart kind of thing and a guy who ran the hard ware store was helping us out.

      There was a heavy set guy who drove down to our van in a go cart thing and was talking to someone else in the car. He spoke very intelligently and I was astounded at the way he spoke to this guy who was having trouble. It was very skillful. When he was done, I exclaimed that he was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. However Someone else in the van was saying how he didn't need to use all this psychological psycho babble. I was saying how the guy didn't even sound like he was being that psychological to me. Just very attentive and he responded so well to the guy in distress. I forgot what exactly he said but i remember being amazed at his brilliance.

      Then a dream version of another well known lucid dreaming author was sitting accross from a younger guy. It seemed like some kind of talk show. Maybe they were just sitting and eating together. But the younger guy presented some out of the box ideas and the older L D teacher was shooting down his ideas in what I thought was a really mean way. This kind of upset me. I have listened to a lot of interviews with this particular L D teacher and he has always been really nice. He was also older in the dream. But it was definitely him. Sometimes I can't remember the persons appearance but I remember a felt sense within the dream that it was that person's prescence. The L D teacher was also sipping some alcoholic beverage and I don't think they use alcohol.

      Then they left the table and I was the only one there. Someone had left honey underneath one of the chairs. Like a pile of honey. Somehow it hardened up. One of the women on staff there looked pretty bummed about this frozen honey mess. I told her she just had to fill the entire room with water and it would dissolve the honey. I was a little pre lucid because I wondered if honey hardened up like that. But I figured thats what honey always did, I just never knew.

      Then I was in a room in a house, I guess my current house. I was reaching my hand underneath the heating vents by the floor to feel for dirt. I only felt carpet or towel there. Then I got afraid there would be a bug and pulled my hand away.

      In the next part there was a set of Pokemon cards. I got it for a low price or as a gift. Someone was telling me not to judge the cards because they were mainly commons and uncommons not really the coolest rares. But the idea was just to accept the cards as they were and try to appreciate even the common and uncommon cards. Usually I would totally ignore commons and uncommons and just go for the rare. A change of heart came over me within the dream and I was able to appreciate the cards as they were, even the simplest common card, as a work of art.

      In the back of the binder there were mesh pouches with a zipper with stacks of cards in each. I got excited when I saw these because it meant there were more cards for me to go through. There was one reverse hologram alakazam that looked cool to me.

      Then there were these kids. Only kids of a certain age so there was a limit to what they could be exposed to. On a red piece of construction paper someone had drawn some lines in white that looked like a rocket ship. SOmeone else was making an innuendo about what the rocket ship looked like. Referring to a certain countrys kind of rocket ship. I forgot what country.

      I thought through the dreams, slept a little more, then activated the voice recorder and got them down. My dream recall was really good for such eventful dreams and I woke up feeling really heavy in all my limbs which is a good thing I M O. It means deep sleep I think.

      I didn't go back to sleep after that.
    3. 2-13 to 2-14, lucid, telekinesis, flight, establish lucidity

      by , 02-14-2018 at 08:27 PM
      Here are the dreams from the night of February 13 to 14. I had a lucid dream in the middle of it all and the rest were non lucid. Feb 13 was a really busy day, so I was probably more tired than usual throughout the night, which led to kind of deeper dreams in a way.

      CTrl+F"lucid" if you want to skip to that part.

      Round 1 of Dreams.

      These dreams were really interesting. I don't remember even one clear detail but it was like I was remembering a bunch of dreams within that dream that I hadn't actually had. I was so tired from the day that I couldn't remember a thing from these.

      Round 2 of Dreams.
      "Eating Quarters" / "Chocolate Hands" / "Flamethrower Police. "

      I think there were some earlier parts that I forgot. Where my memory of this dream starts, I was sitting around with some friends setting up for a meeting. I had my text book for the group and as I looked through it, a 20 dollar bill popped out. I was surprised to find it but the thought if it being a dream didn't occur to me. I asked the other group members whose it was. I was reassuring them that I am the treasurer of the group, and therefore, they could trust me with the money.

      Next thing I remember is sitting at a table with some people including my friend S J from high school, who spoke very quietly. (I am going to switch to present tense and see how that goes. ) S J is telling us all how he remembered his first round of dreams, and they were very interesting. "Remembering the first round of dreams" has significance to me because I often see those as some of the most unlikely to remember, but can be very interesting. S J is at the head of the table and maybe I am too, and someone along the left is asking S J to speak louder.

      Next scene I remember, I am in a room, feeling some apprehension. I have some art which I am attempting to hide. Built into my bed is a long rectangular box, as if a rectangular section is cut out of the bed, for the box to be put into, like it is a hiding place. At one point I am pouring some liquid into the bottom of this card board box. Then I am there with the Land Before Time Characters and we are cowering in fear behind some desks or dressers around the room. We are afraid there is someone or something coming to get us. A dog comes into the room but instead of being fearsome, it turns out to be very friendly and nurturing. We are no longer afraid.

      In the same room there is a scene where I and/or some other people are using spray deodorant. My Dad and Uncle M are talking about some kind of party.

      Next Scene. I am heading down the road past my high school, thinking of being on the way to some kind of club. (Note to self #1*. ) I am battling in my head with my Dad and Uncle about whether or not I should be going to this club, kind of like a partying bar kind of place. As I drive, I notice that some huge trees are laying accross the road in front of the school. One of the trees must be over 100 feet tall. Several workers are clearing all of the fallen trees as I drive through. Now, instead of driving, I am walking. I see some guys on blue skate board things with foot pedals so they can ride around on them while using saws or weed whackers to clear the debris.

      I walk further on and reach a chain link fence. My friends R A and T S are by the chain link fence on their hover board things, clearing debris. I tell them their job looks like fun. As I walk through, people are saying I am so weird.

      Now R A and T S are snapping a football to each other. I walk through the chain link fence.

      Now I am walking by the barber shop in my town and the place I had my first job. It is kind of dark. Some women I know, including M B and other women, come out of the place I had my first job at, and I turn around before they can see me. As I walk the other way, another woman I know from High School is walking along the sidewalk. She has black hair and looks very pretty. I start to talk to her and she morphs between M and S F. I am asking her what it is like to live up in that apartment above the barber shop, where N C lived in waking life. There is a big bay window poking out of the apartment which isn't there in waking life. We are also talking about how it is sad so many trees are being destroyed. As this woman and I talk, the other women come from the direction of that restaurant and now we are all talking.

      I have five hands, each with a different kind of chocolate in them. In each hand, the chocolate is un wrapped and melting. I am also eating quarters. They feel hard and metallic. M B asks to try some of the white chocolate in my left hand. She is also wondering why the chocolate is all unwrapped, and I feel embarassed. I try to explain that the chocolate comes out of my hands or something like that. Two quarters in one of my hands become four quarters. I am not really enjoying the sensation of eating the quarters but I continue eating them.

      An Asian guy walks by with a bunch of coins and dumps them in the back seat of a car that is parked there. I think he is eating coins too. A police officer comes by and puts him in the back of the car. The police officer pours gasoline on him. All of the women and I are feeling fear because of the police brutality. We can't see anything the Asian guy did to provoke this. The police officer blasts the Asian guy with a flame thrower, and most of the flame does not seem to damage him. But his right hand looks all blackened and charred and it looks very painful.

      Now the police officer has me on my back and is pouring gasoline out of a vaccuum kind of thing on my forehead and hair. I am feeling scared what it will feel like to be burned.

      The location changes and we are in a study room within a library. The women are looking from outside the room as the police officer and I are in the room. The tides have turned and now it is me who has the flame thrower and gasoline. I am not intending to hurt the police officer, but I want him to stay in that room, I guess until some other authorities come to take him to prison or something. My Dad and Uncle M from earlier in the dream come and look through the glass window at me. I start to worry that they think I am the bad guy here, and I try to explain how I am not the bad guy. I have taken the police officer's flame thrower because he was using it to burn people and I am only keeping it from him so he doesn't harm any one else. I am still afraid they think I am holding everyone hostage.

      There might have been more to these dreams but I don't remember. When I woke up from these dreams, I was in one of those streams of thought again. I noticed it sooner this time because I identified this phenomenon, and started to think what I had dreamed of. I had a good recall of these dreams.

      I think my dream recall is boosted by how I am doing waking life recall. Throughout the day I lay down and close my eyes and try to pretend I have just woken up from a dream and now I am in bed. So I try to recall what has just happened as if I had just been dreaming. I think this is already strengthening my ability to "reach" for dream details and use my memory.

      Round 3 of Dreams.
      "Establish Lucidity LD" / "Flying and telekinesis LD" / "Pain management technique. "

      (I will go back to past tense for writing the dreams for now since it comes more naturally. )

      The first thing I remember from this round of dreams was that I was looking at a box for a black massage table that could put the body at various angles. I have always wanted something like that for sleeping on my front, and I thought I had finally found it. There was a really comfortable part for my face. I was thinking I need to put that in my room for me to sleep on. (Note to self #2*. )

      In the next part I remember, there is a guy talking about some pain he is having. The "dream screen" is showing how he does mental exercises to help alleviate his pain. The mental exercises involve single consonant sounds, colors and memory exercises. The guy is also saying how drugs are good, and I am wondering how he can afford so many drugs and keep using them to self medicate without anyone finding out. (I don't use drugs myself and I don't recommend anyone use drugs, this was just a dream figure. )

      The next thing I remember, there was an Asian baby who the dream told me to follow. He was some sort of guide. So I am following this Asian baby through this blue maze or crawl space kind of thing which is above the main floor. As the Asian baby leads me along, he is picking up brown rice off the blue surfaces and eating it. We reach a point where it seems I am going to get stuck, as it gets very diagonal and narrow, but I trust the dream guide baby and follow along. Right as I think I am going to get stuck, the whole blue zone opens up. For some reason I wake myself up. (I don't think I was lucid, but I think I decided to wake up or something, not sure exactly what happened. )

      I laid still and thought through those parts, and fell back to sleep.

      In the next dream, I am in a kitchen, hiding some dirty cloths. I am wiping some messes up from the floor and the stove. It is not a house I have been in before in waking life, but maybe I have been there in a previous dream. In this dream, I think I was the only one home. There may have been some food in the fridge I was thinking about. There was more to this part but I only remembered it vaguely.

      Now here is where I become lucidly aware I am dreaming. I am cleaning in a bathroom. I have a plastic bag like a clear produce bag, full of other plastic bags, like what I bring to the grocery store to get produce. I am trying to put it in the top drawer by the sink. There is something else in the bag, too. The drawers keep opening on their own, and I am afraid if I leave the bag poking out like that, people will throw garbage into it. I feel a lot of anxiety about this and try to get the drawers to close, including trying to slide the content of the drawers to the back, but they keep opening up.

      I am not wearing any clothes in the bathroom. I hear my Mom come up the stairs to the room in front of the bathroom and I am afraid she will see my bottom. When i turn around, one door is open, but another is closed, so no one can see into the bathroom. That door seems to have appeared without having been there before.

      I am looking in a giant mirror that takes up a whole wall and I notice a dream sign. It seems like waking life, and I explain to myself how this is possible in waking life. Then, I think to myself, maybe I am dreaming. I almost don't want to be dreaming! I go to do a finger palm test, completely expecting for it to not go through and for me to be in the physical world. Then I see the finger poking through on the other side of my left palm. I am somewhat dissappointed it is a dream! I continue to enjoy the dream sign anyway. (Note to self #3*. )

      Eventually I lose interest in that and now I am lucidly aware it is a dream, there in the same bathroom. I can't think of anything to do. I try to come up with something cool to do since it seems like one of those L D's where there is nothing already going on within the dream. (Note to self #4*. )

      I think of going to outer space, but I don't feel confident that I would succeed at that right now. There is a window I could fly out of, but I don't want to fly right now. I pretty much think if I try anything like that, I will wake up due to instability.

      The thought "establish lucidity" comes into my mind. I do more finger palm tests, rub my hands a bit, and spin around with my eyes closed. While doing all this, I am kind of afraid that it will make me wake up, too. the dream continues though and I do some nose pinched breathing, with two breaths in and out fully. With my dream eyes closed, I see this very vivid, almost neon looking image of a stool. (I wonder if I could have used this to sort of create a new dream within that dream but I was afraid it would make me wake up so I opened my dream eyes again. ) With my dreams eyes open again, I see one of the walls is missing from the bath room. I see a bunch of people in the next room past the bathroom.

      I see a woman I know who is kind of like G D. I think she wants me to talk to her, but it is like I can't decide to really do anything. I see a glass window on the next door up ahead, and my first move is to fly straight into it. I think I will go through it, and maybe impress everyone, but I just collide with it, making a noise. As I do this, two girls and their mom or an older woman are leaving, heading down four to six flights of stairs. I decide next that I will race them down, so I dive headfirst down the stair well, flying down and controlling my flight. They are impressed when they meet me at the bottom of the stairs. I open the front door telekinetically and we all walk out. There is a fence ahead with a closed gate. I fly over it while opening it with telekinesis for the other dream figures. I also notice some white screws and bolts on the ground near the fence, which I try to lift to myself with telekinesis. I am able to successfully make one come to me but the other stay put. I don't feel in total control but I am going pretty well and I know it is a dream.

      I may have forgot the very end of that L D if there was anything else. I kind of think I didn't really get to do the coolest stuff in the world, but I had some fun. Any L D is good practice. Actually, remembering to try to "establish lucidity" was great progress, and I should focus on progress I did make rather than what I didn't do. My stabilization efforts resulted in a longer dream and if I would remember to do another round of that every few minutes, I might be able to go further in exploring an L D. Also, it is my second time trying to nose pinch breathe, and I like it. It feels good to breathe in a dream and it kind of reminds me of meditating, since I am focusing on my breathing. Also, I flew and did telekinesis! That is pretty cool for cryin' out loud.

      Round 4 of Dreams.
      "Baby Guide" / "Nice Hug" / "teeth exposed" / "dad is a car" / "Rock music contest. "

      My memory of these dreams started with me in a market place. There was more stuff before this but the first thing I remember is walking around some shelves in a market place looking at various types of oil. I am talking to a woman near by about the oil. There is a big bottle of coconut oil and another kid. We are sampling some of the oil. The shelf is about shoulder height.

      In another part, there are two dogs both out for a walk. They go near each other and play nicely. This is also a vague memory.

      Now the memories get a little clearer. I am at some guy's house, in his room. He has bunk beds. He has assigned me to watch something on a big television. The picture on the television looks very 3 dimensional. I also notice a bright computer screen to the left of it. I worry that the screen is too bright and I search for and put on my orange glasses. I don't really remember everything about this but it was like I was working for the guy or he was mentoring me.

      In the next scene, I am in a bigger room outside his room. He his rubbing peanut butter or some other type of food spread on a cat's bottom, which makes a mouse go bite the cat's bottom. Then, the cat bites the mouse. I am watching this, thinking it is very cruel, because the mouse might have otherwise not been in harms way. The guys wife is around the scenario. In the context of this dream, my friendship with this guy is very stagnant, but I am not willing to really put more energy into it. It is sort of something I am taking for granted. I dimly want to put some more enthusiasm into it, but I don't feel I can muster it. The guy invites me to sleep over his house, seemingly as a way to be better friends. I felt like I just couldn't handle moving forward in our friendship but I was just feeling stuck. He was standing to my right when he said this. (I remember feeling this way with a girl I was dating in college, just emotionally frozen. )

      Next there is a part with some ramps. My friends J D and J V and others are there. Maybe some young kids or some people that remind me of my Jamaican friend. A lot of this part is vague but in the dream I think it was eventful.

      My friend J V (female) is already with another guy but she has a baby she wants me to hold. She is saying that I should listen to the baby and it will be good for me. I carry the baby around and in one part of the dream it is feeding me pickles from a jar of pickles. I worry that the pickles contain too much sugar or salt and they don't fit my dietary restrictions.

      Later in this scene, I am with J V, the baby, and some other people, watching a movie of some kind of surgery on a projector. I am not sure if it was circumcision or something else gorey. I was feeling really squeamish and I just couldn't handle watching this. I admitted to them that it was too much for me and I couldn't finish watching it. I felt admitting this took a lot of courage and might have helped other people feel comfortable admitting that they, too, needed a break from watching all this violence. I left the group.

      Next there was something where I was taking a disability test. There was this container of blue vitamin liquid that an older man was giving me and one or two other people. I was walking through two shelves thinking I should have asked for the full dose since when he poured me mine, I could tell it was less than what he gave the other guys, and I pulled my cup away early for some reason.

      I was trying to put on two button down shirts at once. The bottom shirt was a short sleeve plaid one with various reds and blues that has a cool zipper on the shirt pocket. The shirt I was putting on top was a long sleeve button down shirt, but I forgot which one. I realized this might be too many shirts and decided to take them off instead, in order to put on a coat without being overheated on the bus. Then I was getting on a bus.

      In the next part of the dream, I was in a place like a mall, and there were women around. I was surprised to see a woman from high school, M E, (those are her initials), and it seemed there were two of her. When I looked from her to the other copy of her, I wondered who the first woman I had looked at was, but I think they were both M E. She looked pretty and I remembered she used to seem to like me. I hugged the copy of her that was closer to me, and it was a nice hug. I was sort of rubbing the sides of her arms or torso. We were happy to see each other. I realized I wasn't wearing my retainer and dental bridge which has my false teeth on it. (I have two missing teeth in the front of my mouth). As I talked to her, she seemed to be looking at my teeth. She asked me, "what, are those colored or something?" and I explained to her that i was missing those front two lateral incizors. I felt kind of embarassed and I tried to talk with my upper lip over my front teeth like I do when i am trying to hide my missing teeth. Suddenly her teeth morphed before my eyes and they had some gaps too. So then we were smiling at each other. I forgot what else happened but I guess I was happy not to be totally rejected, as I usually expect to be. (Commentary: This part of the dream brings up strong emotions since I think my missing teeth hold me back in a lot of ways in life, but I can't afford the surgery. So I don't think I can really date or even be very social due to my missing teeth. I guess the dream wanted me to see this, and although it was some comfort that perhaps I could be in a relationship with someone with dental problems, too, I would rather get my teeth fixed and then be in a relationship with someone with "normal" teeth too. )

      In the next part of this dream I am with my dad, mom and sister. There was something about eating a meal together. My Dad was tired and stressed because he was having difficulty providing for the family.

      There was this part with this yellow leaf thing that was supposed to wrap around something. It opened up on one side to go around the thing, whatever it was, and on the back was a flap made of leaf that I noticed was more yellow than the other side. I was trying to explain to my Dad how the leaf thing has to be wrapped around the other thing but he didn't seem to agree. He was telling me how his Dad was just a car to him. Even in the family photo, instead of showing a picture of his Dad, it showed a picture of a car. I wanted to say that this was not the correct paternal relationship but I was afraid to actually say that.

      Then I was walking at a local nature trail I go to often in waking life. I was carrying one of my house plants and lots of soil kept falling out. I didn't really understand how because the drainage hole wasn't that big in the planter. I was walking towards the gazebo. When I arrived at the chair I was going to put the planter on, I turned around to collect all the soil that had fallen out. I was worried that someone would take the plant while I was walking back through the trail collecting the fallen soil.

      At this point I think I woke up on my front and my head was twisted all the way to the side which I usually try to avoid. Then once I adjusted I fell asleep really soon after that. The weird thing was, I woke up positioned on my left side more, with my neck straighter, but I didn't see how I could have even been laying flat given how the pillows were situated. Maybe I dreamed about being in that sleeping position.

      In the next scene, a lucid, dreaming author, who I have been listening to a lot of pod casts by and just got 2 of his audio books, was writing for some kind of contest where he was talking about his future goals with lucid, dreaming. I was seeing the writing from the first person and I noticed the screen didn't have any blue light filter. It seemed he was struggling to think of anything or feeling discouraged. Some words appeared on the screen but I forgot what they were.

      This part of the dream kind of became a rock song contest. There were two rock singer voices collaborating in a song together which I thought was cool. it seemed like one contestant had asked the other contestant to be part of his song. There was this box with an exclamation mark on it in the corner, like a darker purple box and a yellower exclamation mark, but the whole room was dark, so it is hard to tell. There was something about drug addictions. The judge of the contest was talking about drug addictions. This part of the dream was more surreal and hard to describe. That was all I remembered.

      Round 5 of dreams.
      "Mom heading home" / "Blue ear plugs on Jungle Gym. "

      These dreams were about 2 hours of dozing, sleeping and dreaming. I woke up a little while I thought through some of them and then let myself fall back asleep and dream more.

      I think I fell back to sleep and lost some memories here.

      In the beginning, I was with my friends M R and N H and we were in a food court at the mall. I remember getting something like fries at McDonald's and some other food at another place. I was low on money. I might have toggled to being an employee there. There was someone saying it was unhealthy. This part is really vague.

      One part I remember very clearly felt clear as waking life. But it was very simple. I had the dining room chair positioned with some legs off the carpet and some legs on the carpet. I was doing body weight step ups from that range of motion but as I did them, I noticed that the chair was uneven. So I moved it but then one of my feet was stepping on the carpet while one was stepping off. I couldn't get it to line up right. It was somewhat light out, like it would be during early morning hours as the sun is rising, but on a cloudier morning. The front windows to the dining room had the curtains open. For some reason that very simple part of the dream had a very solid feel to it.

      Okay so then I was in some kind of a school yard. I was on a jungle gym and there was a blue ear plug on the ground. I had another blue ear plug in my hand. There was something about how people with blue ear plugs were weird or something. But I was like, these aren't even mine, I am just here at the same time as they are. Don't think I am weird.

      Then I was in a bathroom and still had the blue ear plugs. I had a tupperware of urine in the sink with the lid on it. It was my more cube shaped tupperware. I was trying to hide it under some soap water or a towel and I was taking a bath. Then two other people wanted to use the bath. I said I will go but just let me dry off and everything. (Note to self #5*. ) The bath became a bed behind me. I remember this one part where I sort of fell out of the bath and fell in slow motion towards the floor. I didn't know it was a dream. As I fell, I fixed my gaze on this orange straw with pink lines on it, like a D and D or seven eleven straw. I remember gazing at it, thinking it would appear in a dream due to the emotions I was feeling in that moment becoming attached to or associated with it. Little did I know I was already in a dream. But I do that more and more now, if I feel a strong emotion, I will notice an object I am looking at and sort of create an association between those feelings and that object. Then in a dream I might notice the object and it could be kind of a dream sign. Funny I was doing that when I was already in a dream.

      There was a little plastic bin of styluses on the floor. I was trying to put a pen cap on the stylus. I wanted to write, so I took one of the styluses and tried to write on the floor tiles of the bath room. I was writing accross four floor tiles, then beneath the first, on the next tile down, about how it is hard to have to make choices. I remember seeing that it was more etching it into the floor than putting ink on top of the existing floor. I was thinking I will never make it as a writer. In the box I was looking for pen caps to put on the styluses.

      In the next scene, I was walking up a road from the water's edge, and I had long hair. I was brushing it and kept getting the brush jammed at the very end. (note to self #6*. ) It turned out there was this weird metal pen cap stuck in my hair that seemed to appear there out of no where. But it was a pen cap similar to the ones in the previous scene. My hair was all clumped up in it and I started trying to pull it out, but it was ripping my hair. Eventually I got all my hair out but was afraid it would be moldy from being in there. It turned out it was fine. It was silver with a blue end. I think I just tossed it on the ground and kept walking.

      Then I was walking down the road more and saw my Mom's old white car in a semi circle drive way of a single story white house. It was my Uncle R's house because of the smoking. Another older white car appeared behind hers, with orange or red tinted windows, and then I actually saw her come outside to leave. It was good timing because in the context of the dream, she was just about to drive all the way up state to go home.

      In waking life my Mom doesn't smoke cigarettes but in the dream she had a cigarette in her left hand. It looked like it had been partially smoked, and had ash on one end, but it wasn't actually burning at the moment, like she had put it out and was saving it for later. She was packing the car. She said "thank G O D for this cigarette." I hate cigarettes and I figured she picked up some cigarettes while staying at my Uncles. But I told her that the cigarette was not a think to "thank G O D" for and tried to discourage her from smoking any more. She hadn't picked up the habit long ago and it would be easier to break it now than later. I felt angry just to see the cigarette but when I realized I couldn't smell it, I didn't totally flip out. My Mom was telling me she was so numb and I knew it was from being active in that cigarette addiction again.

      Then the car transformed into a pick up truck with some mean guys driving it and it nearly ran me over. It was like a red truck and it almost didn't have a wind shield, the way the view of the guys looked through it.

      I woke up and tried to think all of that through. It took a few minutes to even come up with a single detail, but from there, a whole bunch of the dream flowed back into my mind.

      That's all my dreams. Man, it takes a long time to write all this some days, but I would rather remember too much than remember less. I wonder if I will ever have so much dream recall that it will take 8 hours a day to write.
    4. 02-12 to 02-13-2018

      by , 02-13-2018 at 10:49 PM
      I know it is a lot of writing, just not sure how to write any less, as it is all the dream details I can remember with really minimal explanation or analysis. If you want to skip to the lucid parts just Ctrl+F Lucid. Also there was a cool Pokemon part if you want to skip ahead to that.

      Here are my dreams from the night of February 12 to the thirteemph. I had a nap on my back around 2 and then fell asleep pretty easily around 7 P M after doing my waking life recall stuff. Also I have been doing some other memory exercises when I "meditate" to help my dream recall go further too.

      First round of dreams.
      "Space ship battle / Fear of night / Helping clean up from party. "

      There may have been some earlier parts with eating at a table with some people I knew, including G. and perhaps my mom and sister.

      I forgot some of this round of dreams, but I will start with the space ship battle. I remember flying in some kind of space ship or boat thing above a big body of water, in some kind of battle with other such space ships or boats. It was day time in the dream. Some how I felt that the space ship I was using was not mine. I don't remember anything else of this except kind of feeling some fear that I would be defeated and crash into the water or get hurt. Maybe I was blasting at someone else or they were blasting at me. There was an island somewhere in the part of the body of water we were flying over. I was seeing the space ships more from the outside than from a pilot position in the ship but I identified personally with one of the ships.

      In the next scene I remember, I was in this room with some kind of checkout or deli counter. I had this big bag of cheese puffs that someone had given me as a gift, but I didn't really want, because they aren't healthy in waking life. There were two heavy set African American guys, one of whom had this kind of black scarf on around his face. They were apparently police officers or some kind of good samaritans. I made a joke saying to the one guy that he was such a bad person, the humor of which coming from being based on the fact that he is actually a very good person and never gets in trouble. His face kind of lit up in a laugh. I felt bad about that joke upon awakening since it was kind of a put down in some ways, which I try not to do. Then towards a corner of some counter tops, I was giving the bag of cheesey puffs away to my friend Patrick. I was afraid for anyone to see me giving them away because I felt like whoever gave them to me was right nearby and would be offended. The bag of cheese puffs seemed to shrink in size as I gave it to Patrick.

      Then, we were looking at those brown coffee stirrers or thin straws, and then a thicker black straw. There was something about combining them by sliding the brown little straw through the big black straw, but the big black straw had an extra tube in the middle just wide enough to slide the brown straw through? It caused a knot to form toward the end of the straw and it wouldn't work. I remember thinking of that straw as I walked down the road to the Arboretum where I live, in the day time, seeing a metal chain link fence. Maybe that was a kind of transition but is more a vague memory.

      There may have been something with a lawn mower in the way beginning of the dream so I wrote "lawn mower" just to be thorough.

      In another part, I was in a house kind of like the one I live in now. By the back sliding door, there was a glow coming through, but it was night time. I had to slide the door shut an extra time because I was afraid of things of the night. My other family members were sleeping safe upstairs but I had to sleep down near the door for some reason.

      Within that scene there was also a part where I was seeing someone on their computer late at night. The dream told me to have compassion for someone who stays up late on the computer or T V because they do it out of fear of the night. It was my friend Tucker who the dream was showing me.

      In the next scene, a guy was making a microwave full of chicken or soup or something like that. It was kind of like Speed Cooking where he had actually filled the whole microwave with stuff and cooked directly in the microwave, instead of using a dish. I forgot some parts of this but it was kind of a late night party and the guy was very hungry. He said he would clean the microwave after he ate. I felt helpful so I decided to clean it myself. We were worried it was broken because a white circular part from along one of the sides had come off.

      In another part, my friend Lauren was there, and she was showing me this video thing of two numbers in rectangles, 3 and 5. One was in a red rectangle, the other another color. They kept bumping into each other like Venn Diagrams. Lauren was very upset because the number 3 kept oscillating between being a 3 or being an 8. As I watched, I could feel how upset she was, and I was thinking of responses in my head such as advice or reassurance. Then, I remembered all this stuff I learned about listening to others but not trying to rescue or "fix" them or change how they feel, which is supposed to be healthier. So I just said, "Thanks for sharing that with me," in a compassionate way, but felt it wasn't quite enough of a reply for how upset she was, as if it seemed cold.

      In another part, a woman was outside the back slider door. I heard her calling me and went out to meet her. She was probably 4 to 5 feet tall. She jumped up and gave me a big hug. I responded by holding her in the air with a big bear hug for a while. It was a very positive and nurturing feeling. I remember the woman had dark hair and may have been wearing a hoodie but not much else.

      Then in another part, people were throwing fruit at these plain muffin things to make the fruit stick to the top. They were trying with various fruit, strawberries, cherries, raspberries, stuff like that. A woman I know had a big red berry which was understood as a raspberry, and she tossed it at the muffin thing on the little living room table. It missed and bounced off. My Aunt was in this part and maybe a woman who used to live near me.

      Apparently this whole scene was a late night party I was at. My friend's Mom was needing help with all the mess, and instead of just going home after the party like everyone else, I wanted to go "above and beyond" and help clean everything up. I could also tell my friend's mom was a little overwhelmed so i wanted to sort of support her emotionally. I was walking home along that road to the Arboretum again (in the day time again?) wondering if I had helped enough.

      Then there was a part where I was in a bath tub putting soap on my legs and arms. I was reflecting on how helpful of a person I was. Kind of proud of myself or pleased with myself.

      Round 2 of Dreams.
      "Magnemite Squid / Scrub Mummy / Toilets should be Yellow"

      I woke up from one set of dreams and thought through the dreams, but felt a bit tingly and sleep must have come again before I knew it. I still remembered some of the first cycle of dreams, and I remembered the dreams in the second cycle of sleep very well.

      One of the earliest things I remember was looking at the breeze way doors of my old house and thinking they were very "solid" for it being a dream. What I meant by this was that I felt I had been to this location in the dream a few times already and every time, the doors were in the same place, open if I had left them open, closed if I had left them closed. The doors were bent though like a triangle. I remember playing with the door handle. The thing about this is, I don't have a sense that I was actually lucid in the dreams. When I was initially recalling this dream, I remember wondering if there were lucid parts, but I couldn't think of any lucid parts. So it could have been a lucid thought but I was having a non lucid dream of having a lucid thought?

      towards the end of this dream I was walking my sister somewhere for the second time at night. She came to my room to get me so i could walk her there. i kind of wanted to sleep but she needed me to walk or drive her there.

      I was going to change into blue jeans, of which I had a pair in a cabinet or shelf. I was taking a moment to use the rest room for a number two, and squatting down. We were at my previous house, but the bathroom was where the teal room used to be. I was thinking that toilets should not be white because that accentuates any yellow or brown stuff that gets on them. Toilets should be yellow or brown because then they won't look dirty with number 1 or number 2 in them. Those were my thoughts within the dream.

      At the end of the dream, I was laying down, and saw someone I knew. (Note to self #1*. ) Then, I woke up in my physical bed.

      Like I said, I laid there thinking about the dreams, but felt sleep paralysis come back to my limbs and was asleep before I knew it. I remember remembering parts during that period of time between dreaming, but I don't remember what it was I remembered! .

      In the next dream or series of dreams, I was reading from a text book. On the upper right hand corner, there was some wording that seemed un needed, so I was editing the text right there in the text book somehow. It was something like the word "Guard" but I don't remember exactly. I do remember the text seemed pretty solid, not to keep morphing on me. There was some fan running really loud, or other back ground noise, and I sang a line from a rock song in a high pitched rock star voice. A guy was like, wow, that was cool, and the noise went off, and he wanted me to do it again. But I didn't want anyone to hear me with the back ground noise off. I think I sung it again any way but felt silly.

      Then a woman was reading from another copy of the text, maybe my sister, and there was another buzzing or beeping noise in the back ground. The guy said to shut up and I was like, how dare he tell my sister to shut up! But then I realized he was saying shut up to the back ground noise, not to my sister, and I felt better. I tried to make sure my sister knew he was not telling her to shut up, but instead he was telling the noise to shut up.

      Then, it was my turn to read the text book, as if we were going around in a circle, taking turns reading. I wanted to hide the fact that I had modified the text book, but I had no copy of the original text by now, so I was faced with a conundrum of what to do. My section to read turned out to be the one I had just been editing.

      I don't remember what happened next in that part or how it got from there to here.

      I was in a room with people my age playing guitar. It was some people from my high school. Some music kind of like Andy McKee came on, and my friend was sitting in a wooden booth table, playing along with it. He was saying how he was going to be away for one year, and he was going into a room in the corner to talk with someone about it. I felt left out. Then he told me I could come along and listen, too, but then I felt bad that my friend Richie hadn't been invited. I kind of looked at my friend Richie who may or may not have realized he was left out. I had two tupperware cups with red lids and some kind of black cola type of soda in them, and my usual water bottle. I was going to carry them all to that room but it seemed like a lot.

      The next parts of the dream were a little more surreal.

      I was playing a Pokemon game, which was probably from listening to Pokemon Route music before going to bed. I had some generation one starters who I was going to "level grind". I saw some interesting pictures of the starters from red, blue and green, and I think that was how they got into my dream. I had a grass type, maybe venusaur, i was about to give two hold items to. Then i was like, wait, two hold items? I didn't give the Pokemon the items because I didn't want to lose them if the Pokemon fainted. (Different game mechanics. ) I walked from this one part off to the right side of the map where there was tall grass. I walked into the tall grass, seeing myself from above, like in the game, but then decided to press start and open the start menu. I took a few steps as the start menu was opening and a battle began. I tried to open the start menu as the battle was beginning but it wouldn't work. The game was telling me that a wild Jolteon and Magnemite had appeared, and I was prompted to choose which ability my Charmander would use. I forgot who my other Pokemon was, but Charmander was on the left, accross from magnemite, and my other Pokemon was accross from Jolteon. One of Charmanders abilities was called Magnetism, which meant that if a steel or electric Pokemon attacked him, he could attack again right after, even in the same turn. There were rectangular menus like in the game boy games. What the game called "Magnemite" turned out to be a squid type of thing, and this made me kind of do a double take. I could also see another Pokemon way off to the right of the map, as if it were in the battle too, but just from afar. So my Charmander attacked the "Magnemite Squid" and then the Magnemite Squid attacked my Charmander. I felt scared that my Charmander would lose the battle. Actually since the beginning of the battle I was afraid I would lose because I only had one leveled up Pokemon and the rest were there for E X P Share, so I was not prepared for a double battle. But, Charmander was able to attack Magnemite for a second time with its ability, and Magnemite was knocked out. I forgot the rest of that part.

      From the same map, it kind of transitioned more to the right and I was in some kind of Spongebob town. This part seemed like a very sort of blurry or foggy dream, not so solid like the others, but still vivid in a way. There was this guy we were calling a scrub which was actually more like one of the towns people of Bikini Bottom in Sponge Bob, the fish people with the big lips. We had done something like blown its face off and killed it because it was this scary monster called a Scrub. This was from its front door while it was in its house? Then we turned around and behind us was this mummy thing. I think it happened twice. We were telling the mummy thing that we killed the "Scrub" but it was saying that "Scrub" is me! So it went inside its house and we were talking to it some more or something. It was at a sink to the right and its bed had pink blankets, right in front of the front door.

      Then, a wall of white text on a black back ground appeared. I was reading it and it seemed to contain all of my dreams, fully written already. I was amazed because it seemed to contain some dreams I forgot, so I was thinking this "script" of my dreams already existed somewhere, and I could do as much dream recall as I wanted on my own, but I would always have the "full script" of my dreams to compare it to. There was some mention of Mario which I did not dream about. I thought I was already awake.

      Then i woke up physically and realized I had just had more dreams. They came to my mind without much difficulty, and then I thought through the previous dreams I had fallen back asleep before writing, recovering some of those memories, too.

      I think I forgot a part before the Pokemon scene but not sure.

      Round 3 of dreams.
      "Indoor Baseball" / "Lucid without control. "

      The first thing I remember is driving in a car with Will Ferrell and some other guy. They were doing some Lonely Island kind of rap, like one of those gangster raps but with the silly lyrics. I remember a part where I was driving a car, and it was hot outside. I put the air conditioner on, but had the windows wide open, and it still cooled down the car a lot. I was kind of worried that this was wasting energy. Will Ferrell was wearing a blue suit and he was to my left. It had blue and light blue on the suit.

      Then my Dad and my two Uncles who live nearby were all at my house and so was my sister. Everyone was drinking alcohol. We were then standing or sitting all facing the corner of this room which was ten square feet of space at the most. But we were going to play baseball. The bases were maybe each 5 to 8 feet apart. My Uncle was up to bat and I was wondering where he was going to hit the ball to. One door was open to his left, but I doubted he could aim the ball to get out through that door. So I was imagining that the ball was going to smash a window or make a huge dent in the wall. My Dad seemed to be okay with it though, like he would patch up the hole before our lease was up. I don't remember if anyone actually pitched or hit the ball, but I just remember feeling nervous. I was next up to bat. It might have been a competition between me and my uncle. Actually I wrote that I missed the baseball so maybe I was up to bat and missed the ball. I was thinking that if I did hit the ball, I would just do a "bunt" and then walk the bases, so I didn't damage anything.

      I walked around the side of the stairs and saw a silver and light brown spider walking accross the floor. It had a gigantic abdomen. It reminded me of this hair ball that's been on our stair case for a while now that every time I see it, I think it is a spider. So in the dream, I looked, did a double take, saw if it was a hair ball, but then, it turned out it was a spider! I just let it carry on with its walk, but I kind of wondered if it would creep up and crawl on me one day.

      So then I was at the counter drinking from a glass of yellowy beer. I drank like the first three quarters of it, and then I noticed I was thinking I felt like a different person. Then I noticed on a deeper level that it was more psychological. Really, I was always this person, but it was just that I trained myself to only let it out when I drank? So then I stopped drinking because I realized I don't need alcohol for me to be who I want to be. (I haven't had a drink since 2/1/2014. ) My sister was in that scene and also drinking alcohol.

      I don't know if anything else happened, but I woke up from all those, and thought through it. Then I fell back asleep.

      In the next dream I was sharing a room with my friend Ryan. I only remember it vaguely, but he was saying that I stay in too much. There was a big rectangular hamper and I was pouring urine on top of my clothes thinking I would be washing them soon anyway. I had some misgivings about pouring the urine on there but decided to go ahead and pour it in. I was working on some writing, maybe a dream journal entry, but I don't remember that.

      There was also something about something at a beach. maybe with kites or walking along the shore, but I don't remember anything else about it clearly.

      Okay so then there was something on the rooftop of a brick building. And it was like one of those dreams where I am seeing it from the outside, like watching a T V show sort of. Somehow I noticed that this was a dream. Spongebob was on the show and there were some other graphics that were kind of exciting. While watching this, I realized I was lucidly aware, but had no sense of being able to control anything within the "dream screen". But I felt very happy because the "dream show" was giving me good vibes. So I thought of those cat videos I saw where the cat is sort of twitching in its sleep, as if it is dreaming. From within the dream, I imagined twitching my physical body this way and having a big bright smile on my physical face as it slept. I felt my body do this but it may have been a non physical body rather than a physical body. Something scary might have happened at some point like a dragon came on the screen. I couldn't remember a lot of the images from that part but I just remembered brick building roof top, sponge bob and maybe patrick star.

      I woke up from that and thought through all those dreams some more, first the most recent, then going back over the previous round to be sure I hadn't lost them.

      As I did that, I fell back to sleep and dreamed more about the Lonely island rap I had already dreamed about. Sometimes that happens to me because I am thinking about a dream memory with so much concentration and focus, in order to remember it, that if I fall back to sleep, I dream about that same thing. It was like the same guys in a pick up truck but I don't remember it very clearly.

      Round 4 of Dreams.
      "Surfing and Flying LD" / "Pickpocketing Leprechaun" / "Late for family meal. "

      It seemed that in this round of dreams there were some continuations of previous dreams.

      I have a vague memory of being with my Dad in my Nana's room. he was standing where she keeps the T V in waking life and I was by the marble table. My Dad was saying something and I was trying to tell him the main problem was workaholism, but I accidentally slipped and said something like circaholism or circumcision is the main problem. When I thought about it, I realized that verbal slip actually reveals more of the truth, since when so many males are traumatized with the horror of circumcision at birth, they will develop workaholism among many other problems. But I think I tried to correct myself within the dream, and accidentally said circumcision trauma that time, too. I don't remember anything else from that part.

      The next part I remember is my sister was setting up for something inside. Maybe another baseball game? There was more scenes with Dad and my Uncles from the previous dream. This time, there was food being prepared. My sister and aunt and other relatives were looking for me, I think calling my name, but I was stuck in the basement. I could hear them calling for me, but I could not reply. My voice wouldn't travel up the stairs. Rivers of water kept being poured down over the stairs past me to the floor of the basement. It didn't really feel like a drowning dream or anything, it was just more of a mild thing with water. But I did feel it was perhaps tragic that I was right there in the basement, trying to get up, but they must have felt like I abandoned them.

      I don't remember what happened but next thing I remember I was up the stairs. My relatives were all serving food at some kind of banquet. I think I ate some and it tasted good. Maybe some pasta and cheese thing or ice cream was the closest I could remember to what food it was. It was day time outside and we were all eating out there.

      So then I was sitting with my Nana or another older relative. But then I was seeing a view point from behind this relative where this little leprechaun or Mario like character was pick pocketing my relative and then plucking various pieces of gold and jewelry off their clothes and hair without them noticing. Then, the dream kind of showed this little gnome type of character running around the house, stealing different valuable things. Then, everyone was chasing after him, angry at him, and searching all over the house to find him. The dream showed the little guy finding a hiding place while some men passed by looking for him, then he moved to hide in some storage bin while they passed by another way. Then, I came back into having a "dream body" in the same room as him. I knew he was in this blue storage bin with some wooden rods in it, but I had compassion for him. I didn't want him to be hurt and punished. So my intent was to move the box he was in into the closet so he could hide in the closet instead of being crammed into one tiny box. I was trying to protect him. As I was moving the blue bin, my friends Carlos and Omar came into the room, looking for the guy who was hiding there. He was staying perfectly still in this plastic bag within the bin. Then, the bin morphed into my black airport luggage with no one noticing. They asked what was in there, or did I find the guy in there, and I said, no, it is just all my own stuff. In it was my fraternity paddle, a funny samurai knife and sword thing and some other wooden objects. (Funny because I just unearthed those objects the other day while looking through the basement. ) I pulled out a wooden brush and felt like, oh, no that belongs to Carlos. Sure enough, Carlos said that it was his brush, so I was kind of like, oops, sorry, you can have it. There was also some kind of wooden music player that was cylindrical. Carlos was going to pay me four dollars for me to return his brush to him, but I was like, it is your brush, I should be paying you for it. The wood had red lettering on it like in waking life. The bristles were pointy and black.

      Then, I woke up and laid there, thinking through the dream. Just when I had formed some solid memories of them, I felt the tingles return and my limbs get heavy, so sleep paralysis was setting in again. Sleep paralysis was really cooperating very well with me on this night. It was like within 10 minutes of laying down and not moving, I would feel everything get heavy, and I would know sleep was right around the corner. It was nice to have that happen instead of all the fidgeting I sometimes have gotten.

      I don't think it was a true WILD but I regained consciousness within this next dream fairly early on. It began with a music video of some guys flying around at a beach, rapping or singing lyrics to a song. The words appeared as captions on the bottom of the screen and I followed along with the captions, hoping to remember them when I woke up. The captions had different colors like blue or gold or tan around them. It reminded me of the captions on a recent Stephen LaBerge lecture I watched and maybe that's why it appeared in my dream that way. As I followed along with the words, which by the way I remembered none of upon awakening, I realized this was a dream. The idea of people rapping had continued throughout the night so that might have been partly why. Then, I noticed I was watching this on a phone, laying on my side, the same side I was sleeping on in physical world, and I could see light on in my room behind the phone screen. I started to think I would be able to put down the phone and go do something, but I was afraid to move and wake myself up physically, so i just kept watching. Then, I was actually at the beach floating there with them, still seeing the same music video. After a few moments of this I felt ready to start moving my dream body, and I flew towards these sand dunes which were shaped like a skate boarding half pipe. I sort of surfed along the curves of the half pipe thing and got stuck mid way because it was just sand. But that started my sensation of surfing or "boarding" around.

      I almost just kept watching the music video, but I realized that I could passively watch music videos all day. But that might not be as cool as going out and engaging "life" or in this case the dream. So it was kind of empowering to be able to be active instead of passive.

      I continued "surf boarding" to the edge of the sand and then over this ice which had frozen over the dark water. Once I got to the edge of the ice, i was flying through the air. The sky was dark but things were dimly illuminated. I saw a guy in midair and flew straight into him, kind of on purpose, not sure why though. We bounced off each other harmlessly and talked about how cool it was to be flying here. He was a somewhat heavy African American guy, maybe my age. I thought it might be social to ask him his name, and he said Adrian. Then I saw my friend Tom from college down by the water's surface, and I shouted down, "Tom, is the water dangerous?" He said, "No, the water is totally safe!" I was totally reassured and completely trusted him. Then he looked more like my friend Amelio, and then he turned into a navy blue silhouette with white glowing rings all over it, within the silhouette, not around it. I wanted to go in the water but didn't end up doing that. Then I was flying near the top of a tall book shelf with Adrian and one of the book covers said, "How certain kinds of media make us not like our noses," Which I thought was interesting. the book cover had red on it and a cartoon of a guy in black ink drawing. I understood the intent of the book to be to communicate how when people watch too much T V or celebrity stuff, they feel inferior, such as not liking their own nose any more. I thought that was some good dream wisdom. Not to compare myself to others and not to consume a lot of mass media or look at celebrities or photos of people a lot because that is where the comparing can start.

      I thought to see if I could play a Dream Theater song within the dream, but sort of shot down my own idea. in hindsight, that would have been really cool, to try to hear a song I like in waking life, within my lucid, dream.
      (Note to self #2*. )

      I guess I flew around a little more or observed some more stuff and then woke up. I forgot the exact moment I woke up. I was able to think it through very clearly though.

      Round of 5 sleep.
      I went back to bed, hoping for one last round of dreams. Maybe even some lucidly aware dreams after my last little taste of lucidity in round 4. But, when I awoke, I had no memory of any dreams. I tried to sleep again after that, but could not get back to sleep. It was 7 A M and sunny already so usually I can't sleep much past sun up. It was a good night of dreams though and glad to be done typing it up in full.

      I know my D J entries are pretty long so I might try to come up with some way to highlight what I would want people to read if they only wanted to read 25%.
    5. 2-8 to 2-9-2018 dreams (2 interesting LDs)

      by , 02-09-2018 at 03:36 PM
      I decided that it was a bit much for me to go back and highlight everything in color that was lucid. So it is all non lucid until otherwise noted. And then if you wanted to read the lucid parts just do a search and skip ahead to those.

      I know I should probably be interested enough in my own dreams to go back through them but some nights like last night, where I had some amazing dreams, I just am so frustrated with having forgotten so much that I don't even want to think about my dreams.

      I was able to fall asleep probably around 9. I felt tired around 6:30 or 7 but couldn’t sleep. I napped two hours during the day but I was still tired. I just couldn’t sleep for some weird reason. Reading some of my older dream journal entries seemed to be helpful.

      Round 1 of Dreams

      Something about driving to my sister, on a road near a local hospital. There was more that happened before this but this was all I got. I had been telling her something that may have been too much for her to know. We were coming from some kind of meeting or class setting. Maybe she had gotten some kind of special coffee. It was like we were driving, and I needed to go fast with certain intense kind of metal music on, I am not exactly sure why. Something about a way I coped. But that wasn’t good for her. There was something to do with time? Maybe some kind of meeting. There was some kind of design she drew in the sand or dirt on the ground, with a stick. I drew a similar design but at different angles.
      At another point, it was like she was pulling some stones out of the ground. They left triangle shaped marks in the ground where they had been pulled from. This seemed not okay to do at first but it was fine.
      Dad was saying how she should eat something like eleven to twelve fresh strawberries every day, referring to a nearby wild garden. I got the sense that he was sacrificing his strawberries for her to be able to have more. It might have also meant for me to eat strawberries or for her to feed the bird strawberries. Dad wouldn’t get any strawberries. I was wondering how he would do that when he should really “put on his own oxygen mask first”.
      Then my sister was holding up a small stick from a tree that had some sap dripping from it. We were both saying and thinking how she should be careful not to get pregnant from all that tree sap.
      We had a bird. I think it was a yellow bird. It seemed to like walking on a tread mill, and if we let it walk on a tread mill, it would just completely lose track of time for days. There was a woman showing one of those new fangled hamster wheels that have the disc they can run on, its like a diagonal disc instead of a wheel thing. The woman was spinning it in her hand and saying how we can’t give treadmills to birds any more. Then she showed us to a part of the wall that disappeared and had a hallway behind it.
      The idea was to make the bird use its mind and meditate, not just become a “mindless cardio bunny”.
      I would have remembered these dreams much better, but I woke up on my left side, with a nerve being pinched. Before I even knew I had woken up, I must have felt the nerve pinch and rotated onto my front. Then, I was on my front, and my neck was twisted badly, so I thought I should really go to my back. So I had to do all this moving before I could think of the dreams. I’m sure if I had been able to stay still, or move less, I would have got what it was I was telling my sister. I was frustrated because there was a lot lost.

      Round 2 of Dreams.

      It took me a while to fall back asleep. My shoulders were having a pinched nerve on both sides so I couldn't sleep on my side. Between that and the frustration of forgetting the previous dream, and other factors, I had trouble sleeping. I eventually found that I could slide a pillow underneath my side to take pressure off my shoulder and fell asleep on my right side.

      First, in this dream, I was in some kind of a class setting. I think there was some negative feeling, maybe conflict or fear. I have a vague sense of it but nothing I can put into words. This frustrates me very much because I don't remember how I got to the lucid part.

      Once I became lucid, I was in this office type of thing. Then I was in this hospital type of room and there was a kid on the bed. He had brown hair in a bowl type of haircut like I had growing up. Not sure exactly the age but young. He had his front two teeth and his lateral incizors, but the teeth outside those were missing. I noticed this discrepancy (I am missing my front lateral incizors) but I figured this was a version of myself as a child. It took me a moment. What it felt like was that I was dreaming from the viewpoint of that child for a while, and the next thing I knew, I was my adult self looking at the child. I said hello or something like that and we talked. Again, I can only remember this vaguely, which really frustrates me. It is so devastating to lose dreams like this.

      There was this tablet with a blue light filter on it that kept falling. It was his tablet. I was able to telekinetically keep picking it up for him before it fell. I think as the dream went on, he became younger, closer to a baby. I think he fell at one point, but I used telekinesis to get him into my arms.

      There was a little torch lighter, with the bendable hose part, that he was playing with. This didn't seem safe.

      At one point, we were towards the end of the room and there was some kind of female nurse there. I thought of trying to talk to her but realized I was with the child now.

      I had the child in my right arm, and noticed the fingers of my left hand were really crazy. I had a thumb, two fingers, then two missing stubs of fingers, then three more fingers. I showed the child, look, my hand has a lot of fingers. I already knew it was a dream.

      The torch lighter kept falling and I wanted to put it away. I had the thought that I might be in my subconscious, so maybe I should put the torch lighter in a safe cabinet, where the child can't get it and burn up the place when I am not there. There were all these silver cabinets and I found one to put it in. This whole part of the room seemed to be stainless steel. I found a cabinet on the right hand side that I wanted to put it in, but couldn't get the latch to open for me to put it in there. I guess I let that go after that.

      Then, I had the baby child in my left arm. I wish I had thought to talk more to the baby child. Instead, I was sort of acting as if I were in my own dream by myself, with no one there, just that I was holding this object for some reason. So I kind of missed out on that chance, but maybe I wasn't ready.

      I was near these sinks. To my right I opened a door to a stainless steel bathroom with a toilet hole in the floor. It was pretty dirty all over the place in here. There were two pretty grimy sponges near the sink, and all this grimy, gooey water. With the child in my arm, I decided that instead of flying away, I should clean the bathroom. Since I was thinking this was my inner mind, I figured cleaning the bathroom would be symbolic in some way. And a smart thing to do. I couldn't think of anything else to do, so I grabbed the less grimy sponge, and started to scrub the stainless steel of the bathroom. I guess I thought I was going to clean the whole thing.

      Next, I noticed there was no ceiling in this place. Just walls that went up. So I flew up above the walls a little. When I looked down, I saw this big office space with people in cubicles. I knew I had seen this earlier in the dream. I was amazed at how my dream location was so solid, that a location from before was in the exact same place, looking just as it did the last time. I was a few floors up from them somehow.

      I got the idea to fly down and fly around the office space. Then I kind of got the idea that I shouldn't do that, for whatever reason. It might get me in trouble or something. Well, I sort of ignored that instinct, and jumped down. Then, I woke up.

      I definitely hope that next time I have the chance, I remember to just stop trying to be so busy doing things, and actually talk to the child. There was so much more I forgot that happened with the child. He was crying for something at some point and I got it for him with telekinesis.

      It is so frustrating that I forgot so much of this dream. I stayed perfectly still upon awakening and thought through it. But, nothing else. No clue how I became lucid. No memory of at least half the stuff that happened when I was with the child. Sometimes dream recall can be torture for me because I find out how much I forgot.

      I had a very short dream flash after I started to think through that lucid dream where it was a dark sky. There were two light-up letters, maybe H, U, or, H, A, or A, H, I am not sure any more. I could see it clearly when I was in the dream flash but I had forgotten moments later. The letters faded into a black cloud on the bottom of the dream "screen". Then there was a white light in the middle. I knew it was a dream flash all along, so it was kind of like the beginning of a wake initiated lucid dream, but I couldn't figure out how to extend it into a new dream.

      After that I was awake, thinking through the dream. I had some sleep paralysis begin to set in and hoped another dream would begin, but it wasn't coming. I got up to write this one and now I will go back to sleep.

      Round 3 of dreams. .

      I remember there was some part with someone talking about something to do with safety? Not quite sure.

      One part where I was in my high school. Maybe flying, but not lucid. Starting to think I might be dreaming.

      There was another part when I was in the water. I forgot a lot of this, too. I remembered it at first but must have been tired.

      This last part was very interesting. There was a woman who had sort of kidnapped me in the back seat of her car. She had a gun pointed towards me. Actually, she even shot me at one point, and I died. It didn't hurt, but I had the feeling that I died. i think I experienced something, but I am not sure. That was actually really cool.

      Then, I was in that dream again, and she was driving me still. I was trying to play dead so that she wouldn't think she had to shoot me again, but I couldn't stay still. She started to aim the gun at me, and I realized I was dreaming. I had one of these moments where I said, you can't shoot me again, this is my dream. Then, I remembered the last time I did that in a dream, and the other dreamer didn't like that. So I said, well, it is both of our dreams. But I just don't want you to shoot me. And I both grabbed the gun with my dream hand and used some mental will to get the gun in my possession.

      Then, instead of wanting revenge on her for putting me through this, I realized she must be in trouble if she had to hold me hostage. So, I decided, knowing it was a dream, to help her. I asked her more about why she had kid napped me, but I don't remember that much. She said she had some other salts in the car. I asked if they were for punishing me, and she said, yes. I didn't really get mad at her, though.

      So I was sort of helping her find her way. We were 3 hours away from home. It was a silver or light gray mini van.

      At one point, I thought she might have had the gun again. I had to double check that it was in my right hand pocket of my north face jacket. She had some stuff laid out on the floor. I think we had got to some sort of hotel.

      Then there was a thing about how even if she didn't kill or torture me, other people would still come after me. So, we had to make it look like she had succeeded somehow. Then, all of these ransom note type things appeared on the screen. Maybe I had lost lucidity at some point, but becoming lucid and getting the gun from her might have been all I needed to consciously do.

      She seemed to have dark hair. I think she was Italian. I think I almost asked her if she was Italian but didn't want to seem to be stereotyping her?

      There was a lot more stuff in these dreams but I guess I slept on it more as I was laying there trying to remember it. I had difficulty sleeping tonight, so I can accept that I was just too groggy. But still, it hurts to forget, because the parts were definitely cool.

      Oh, right, here is one part. Painfully vague, but I've got it. There was something about squatting over a squat toilet. My friend from High School Rich M was saying something. He was saying how it was hard to squat there for a while, so I said to eat some chicken while he does it. Then, he said that it would cause him to poop more from eating the chicken. But I thought, the chicken won't digest immediately and make new poop that has to go out until later.

      I think there was a part with a girl I liked from high school. All of this is now painfully vague and I am somewhat upset about the memory loss.

      I should have got myself up, but I didn't because I was still remembering details from the dream in my mind. I thought I should stay still to try to remember more of it, but then I guess as I was doing that, i fell asleep some number of times. That just means I was tired, and reasonably so. A lot of times, when I am not too tired, I think through the dream until i know I am done, then get right up to write it, without any risk of falling back to sleep.

      There might have been something with my sister and a bird, unless that was an earlier dream. It could have been both this dream and an earlier dream.

      Well, I will go back to bed now. i will try to see if I can recall any other parts.

      When I was at the high school there may have been something about the A V club.

      Round 4 of dreams.

      These were cool but again I am very dissappointed with my dream recall.

      So, there was something with my sister. We were in this room that had all white and dark brown stuff. It was like a bathroom or a mix of different rooms including a bathroom. There was something also mixed in about these people chanting some incantations around a ring to summon a fairy. The ring said Zelda on it. They were going to summon a fairy called Zelda, but I was thinking Zelda is a princess in the video game, but I didn't think she was a fairy. Anyway, it didn't have to be video game zelda. So then I saw two people, I think my sister on the right hand side, and myself on the left hand side, sitting on toilets in this white and brown room. I got the sense that my sister would be sucked through the toilet when the people summoned the fairy, but I was going to go with her. I was also eating something in the room. I had my multivitamins and chicklets. I was going to offer my sister some gum. I was afraid that it was too dirty of a room to eat in, because of there being a bathroom right near it.

      In an earlier dream, there was a guy saying how something most people think is non violent might not actually be non violent. I forgot what it was but it seemed so insightful. It was something I never would have thought of.

      Yeah, quite dissappointed with my dream recall tonight. I am pretty much always dissappointed with my dream recall right after the dream, because I am still aware of how much I forgot. Once I forget how much I forgot, and I am just left with the dream journal entries themselves, I don't have such bad feelings about it. Also, I think nights with better dream recall mean I am getting less deep sleep, so there will be a balancing effect where I get deeper sleep the other nights at the expense of dream recall.

      I woke up from these dreams laying there for a few solid minutes (it felt like) before any dream details came to mind. I remember I was eating something, but it was so much food that I would have to put on an m p 3 to distract me from how much I had to eat. Also, I felt like I was laying there thinking of the dreams at times, but when I woke up physically, I couldn't remember a thing. Maybe I dreamed that I was thinking of it. I don't know.

      Hopefully I can sleep one more time and have a dream I can actually remember well enough to be happy. But I will probably never be happy!

      Round 5 of dreams. .

      I slept again, and I know I had some dreams. My dreams over this last night were a lot harder to remember than usual, for whatever reason. I regret this but I guess it just means my body and mind needed some deeper and more restorative sleep. I kind of overdid it on some things lately and too much exhaustion seems to not be good for dream recall.

      The one part of the dream I remembered was I was hearing this song. Maybe there was something on a table. I remembered the words to the song at first, but then forgot them. There was this rubber ball swinging around on a string. Then I heard a loud "thud!" either from waking life or from the dream, like an auditory hallucination. The "thud!" woke me up in a startle and my memory of dreams was completely wiped out. It might have been a thud from outside. I tried to stay still and think about the dreams, but couldn't get any.

      Other Notes
      Here is some other writing about my dream recall frustrations I did:

      There may have also been some kind of creepy monsters in the earlier parts but that might have been something i was thinking about before I fell asleep. I was thinking about being nice to snakes I see when I am in the woods and how it would be cool to be able to befriend snakes even when most people would say it is dangerous, just by being very loving towards them on a deep level.

      Forgetting so much of a dream like this really kills me. I am totally exasperated over this, because I feel I am doing everything I possibly can to maximize my dream recall. I don't know if anyone else has this level of pain over forgetting parts of their dreams, but I do. I just want to remember what happened in my dream, but all i get is like 25 to 50 percent. And I am stuck with that, no matter how much I try to visualize it or focus on it. The memories just seem to be gone.

      Also I don't think I had any false awakenings.