• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 19/07/2020

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I want the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cxxix.

      by , 08-02-2020 at 12:00 PM
      Interruption to the DJ catch up to put one from the past night. Some particularly detailed dreams, but I ended up having so much initial recall of so many dreams that in the end I let go of many and only made notes of a couple. Of note is the fact that last night I took for the first time a multi-vitamin B complex. It somehow did increase dream vividness far beyond what I expected.



      2nd August 2020

      Dream:

      In space. In a game like Freelancer, flying a ship with a similar camera view as the game would have. I am on a server and I interact with some other people, but it's a small and private server.

      I remember at some point discussing something with someone and then bringing up a list looking at all the potential guns and turrets there were. There were Nomad weapons that went by names such as "Redeemer" and came in three different marks. I remember thinking that it was silly to call it redeemer because there should be a Class Ten weapon using that as an acronym. The turrets list was like a "give mode" menu too, but I didn't have access to that function.

      Everything was so detailed, I remember asteroids and distant nebulas and overall the sense of scale was just about right. I'm not sure I flew with a specific aim in mind but I found a Klingon wreckage of a Warbird or something. I shot its turrets so that I could loot them, and I wanted to do so quickly so that someone else couldn't interrupt me or steal them from me.

      Then very close by was a station where I landed my ship. I got out but don't remember doing so physically, and then was inside the station. It was like a hospital mixed a bit with an office, and now the server people were here with me as a group? But something has a Farscape feel to it. Seems poorly lit or dark, but visibility is OK.

      I forget some details but eventually H is with me at some point and we are waiting at the end of some hall. There are other people here, just sitting on some kind of benches, all waiting same as us. It was like a lobby? The light here mostly comes from the floor, a bit blue-ish, not even just a cold light, actually blue-ish. There are some commercial type fridges with the metal framed glass doors and they have cans of drink in them and I open one of them behind someone and fiddle with or organise some cans.

      Then eventually we go through a doorway. We're outside, it's day time, slightly cloudy but bright though I didn't notice shadows properly and we are visiting a church here to do some work. The transition into this area was perfectly seamless.

      The church was unusual, it was very open and seemed to be in the ruins of a massive old cathedral, some parts more ruined than others. But overall there was no "ceiling" to speak of and it was an open church. I could hear the wind and the leaves of tall trees surrounding the area, I could hear this very clearly in the dream.

      The floor was all just grassy turf and there was no flooring really, but there were brand new things and some old things here in the main congregation area of this new church. There was a wooden house of some kind, which was full-size and looked just like the typical thing seen in a nativity, just bigger effectively.

      But two kids were following us, they seemed curious. Though I got the feeling from H it'd be better if they weren't following us, so as we approached a wall panel between some old pillars, we went behind a wooden carved statue of Jesus. The statue featured prominently the colours red and blue on the clothing, and His hair was curly and dark, as was His beard. He did have a crown of thorns, too. The colours seemed a bit worn but probably better than could be expected for something out here in the elements.

      Anyway, H pushed some panel behind the statue and we went through and it shut. Though the structure was very open, this didn't really limit the kids following us, but it made it more difficult; H then went around more sneakily trying to just get past them or spook them or something. Either way, the whole time H seemed to know what he was doing and I just followed his lead as with any normal job.

      One of the kids was gone at this point, but the other one remained and followed more closely now; his father or grandfather appeared and was trying to convince him to go back with him, but the child seemed insistent in following us and seeing what we were doing. The man apologised for the behaviour, clearly nervous and feeling a bit foolish in some sense. I did not mind him or the kid so much at this point.

      Eventually we are on a rooftop part of the old cathedral building. It's high, but not as high as it would have been on top of the actual cathedral; I got the sense that this was a secondary, inner, chapel, built to be inside the cathedral itself. We got on the rooftop simply, because the grassy terrain ramped up to it, I recall. It's all leafy and there's lots of Autumn-coloured leaves on top, a contrast to the green grasses from earlier. I remember stepping on the leaves and feeling them under my boots, which made me more aware of what I was wearing. I remember walking over and maybe stepping on a dead sapling that was growing here. Its wood was dark and bendy.

      Somehow it's a truly beautiful area and scene but I don't think or realise this in the dream.

      As we get near the opposite end I become concerned and tell everyone to stop. The roof slopes down more quickly ahead and there are no leaves. I start to realise the danger of being on a roof more than before. I tell H, "there are no tiles here, we'll slip right off". So in agreement we start to walk back. I had thoughts of the kid falling and didn't want to feel responsible should something happen, but I also think about how the parent/grandparent would feel should such a thing happen.

      At this point my fear of heights seems to kick in a little and I stick more toward the inner edge, where there's a vertical structure jutting out the middle of the roof; I step up on a stone ledge of sorts and as I keep walking back with a tight grip on some stone stuff, I start to realise there had been a music playing for quite some time, in a quick crescendo now. I could hear a jackdaw or crow cawing for the same amount of time too. These sounds were immensely beautiful and as they became more and more vivid I eventually woke up.

      Dream Fragment:

      Only made brief notes of this one. Dream about visiting a therapist to treat some narcolepsy (that I do not suffer from in real life). I basically kept falling asleep throughout this dream and having different dreams within the dream. In the last part, there was some joint therapy dream thing about recognising that I was asleep, and we had a timed round to shoot enemies and shoot their limbs off with guns.

      Then an old skeleton is under some bushes or canopy on some grass. It was Kerrigan's skeleton? The front of the skull was missing or smashed, but some of the lower jaw mandible was intact. Someone took off what was the bones of a tail part of the skeleton and then I or someone else tossed the full skeleton towards someone, Sol, I think? She suddenly had to go though, and we all criticised her for doing this every time.

      Scraps:

      - A small Spartan-like nation? They had a strong military that seemed American in some sense and they were testing some nuclear weapons and special bullets. It was sunny. Lots of concrete structures.



      Notes:
      - There sure is a lot to make note of here, and I didn't even record all the detail of the first dream fully, it would have taken me too long and most of it is ultimately filler in some sense. But I greatly enjoyed that dream's experience.
      - I probably remembered scraps of at least five long dreams in total, but all dreams were fairly vivid. They also all felt like they changed very quickly.

      - In a between-period of sleeping and not sleeping after my initial waking up, I tried to focus my mind on drawing but did not have any dreams relating to that or art in general.

      - The children following us were both boys, probably between the ages of 6-10. I don't remember having a great look at them, mostly because they followed us from behind most of the time.
      - This first dream is the longest dream sequence I have dreamt of for quite a long time now.

      - In the second dream, the skeleton was whole, all joined together, something that I know in waking life is impossible except if it had been put together as a museum piece of some kind. The bones were particularly yellowed and somewhat pitted.
      - The guns/shooting thing probably came about from playing KF quite a bit with H lately.
      - The weapons-testing in the scraps dream likely came about from a general enjoyment of controlled loud noises and explosions (despite their dangers and harmful nature).

      - The therapist figure seems to be recurring a little recently. I think it's part is an inner representation of a guide because I have often sought help from therapists for guidance with the psychological side of life and because I've had some good ones, I suppose I feel on some level that they can be very useful guides, even when they say things I'm not happy with or don't agree with.
      - This type of figure is also ironically likely to be the antithesis of my frustrations with healthcare systems; these dream therapists actually care about me and there is no payment or any such thing involved, there is a genuine feel of interest in helping me as if they were devoted to that.
      - The narcolepsy and the falling asleep thing may have been subconscious cues about dreaming reality.
    2. lxxxix.

      by , 02-24-2020 at 05:30 PM
      Morning of 23rd of Feb.


      Dream Fragment:

      Not sure where to start. I was in a church, but I remember a feel of RTS game to things and I was preparing an assault on the priest or something. Details are missing. Then I was ready and water appeared and partially flooded the church? Previously, me and someone else had replaced the trousers the priest was going to wear. Then the water was more like bed covers or something.

      Eventually this bit is over and I'm outside walking around. I walk on cobbled streets, meant for pedestrian use only. I reach some place like a parking lot. Mom is there for whatever reason.

      She starts telling me off about the trousers thing with the priest. She tells me all about how he can't get out of bed easily now and how depressed and sad he is... He has to call for a bucket of boiling water to be poured on his legs to get up each morning? I remember that scene vaguely, visually.

      Apparently he can't feel them anymore either. I think it's all a bit ridiculous, just because he was without his trousers for a while in a cold church...

      Mom and I get into an argument of sorts. She won't see reason and how there's something weird about priests story. I ask rhetorically "how miserable can he be, with his fancy BMW" but she gives me the old "money isn't happiness" crap. I comment "good riddance" if the priest doesn't return to the church, because he had a monotone voice that made his sermons completely boring, regardless of how interesting they actually were.

      Eventually we can't agree on anything and mom gets into this old and grey VW van? I walk away and put my hood up. At this point I'm keenly aware of what I'm wearing. My working trousers, my old cream hoodie and my black boots.

      I feel moody after the argument and walk back from where I cam from on the wide cobbled paths. Some teens are about, up to no good I feel. I feel moody and I am aware of my face doing that thing where I look so grumpy that I just end up looking nasty and violent to anyone who sees me.

      I message H on my phone, which feels bigger than it actually should be. My message is about mom and how it felt like she was being unreasonable. While messaging I am distracted and I take the wrong turn. I see a barrier of some kind along the path and a kid's park beyond it. I feel annoyed. In the dream I knew this wasn't the way and turn back around and cross some bridge.

      The surroundings are odd along these paths. It's like an old town area but there are no buildings properly speaking? Just some walls, not even building walls. A transition?

      I am back at the church. I realise it's more like a chapel really. There's a service and the priest is nowhere to be seen. There's a small black man. It almost looks like he suffers from some form of dwarfism. People in the church aren't paying full attention because they are reading something on the pews about the priest's current/latest condition.

      The small man invites me to stay, and I nod or something. I try to find somewhere I feel comfortable about sitting. When I do sit, he starts singing. He has a beautiful and sort of deep voice, much more than I'd expect for how small he is. I think to myself how I'd much prefer to see him all the time at the services, over that priest.

      Then everything finishes, and we're outside. I find the priest at some stairs going into an underground area, where I was going to leave through. The priest is wearing what looks to be an overly warm coat, even for a cold day and he seems to be pretty much fine in terms of his health.

      For whatever reason, an old school friend of mine is in the tunnel too, but I see him as if I'd see him every day. But he's carrying some stuff, including a toolbox like H has. I give him a hand and bring the toolbox. We quicken our pace and move away from the group of people behind us. I want to tell him something about what's been going on, but I forget what it was.

      Some transition again. I'm at the priest's house for some reason. He and his wife are there. They're not aware of my presence? They talk about how their plan worked and how they could now swap hairstyles or something. It didn't make much sense at all even in the dream, but I felt it proved I was right about something weird going on with the priest.



      No notes for now.
    3. lxxvii.

      by , 02-04-2020 at 12:17 PM
      None of these dreams are complete in detail. Transitions are missing and a lot of them had beginnings that I simply can't recall now. It took me over 15 minutes from getting up from bed to write any of these down here because of difficulty getting up and slightly different morning routine.



      Dream Fragment:


      Very short fragment. There's a brand new office building of some kind. It has an odd shape, has a very 80s,90s feel to it for me. Then someone has apparently ordered some sort of bespoke building plating. A woman, I think, she's very happy about it and goes "yeah, instant bunker baby!" or something like that. The somewhat thin metal plating is plaited and somehow unfolds itself around the building and fits perfectly over every single side. I remember walking around it to see or something.

      The woman then throws a bomb right at the brand new plating. It makes a small explosion, no more than a few yards in radius and doesn't break anything off, but some cracks appear on the plating and underneath it. Despite the fact that the plating is metal, it looks translucent and is a dark tan. I find it curious but don't spend too much time thinking about it. (Years ago I had some translucent plastic spoons that had an electro-plated metal finish of some sort, which gave them a translucent metallic look. The dark tan is familiar from a number of tinted glasses I remember seeing in buildings I visited in the 90s.)

      Anyway, she's really disappointed now, asking how could the small blast get through like that. She insisted it was supposed to be virtually indestructible but then some sort of interface overlay appeared in my vision as if in a game and I inspected the plating and it had a little icon that when inspected stated "Highly Resistant Material". I felt she had hyped herself into believing this plating was more durable than it actually was. I remember passing thoughts of how nothing is indestructible.

      Dream Fragment:

      In some sort of classroom. Me and someone else, maybe H, are there first with the teacher. The teacher doesn't look much older than us and she seems familiar somehow now, but is purely a dream character. Possibly an anima-type construct. There's a chalkboard. There are small metal-legged, chipboard tables, covered with plastic veneer. The setting is very familiar from my childhood. Somehow I don't remember the chairs exactly, but they were probably fibreglass ones.

      The room feels dark, but it seems to be day outside. Only a small amount of light gets in from some windows. We are at some table over by the far right end corner of the room.

      Then some students arrive. I don't have any thoughts about it in the dream, but realise now that they were former classmates from when I was around 12-15. The lights are on now, I think. I remember turning back to my left and looking at someone else and then approaching for some reason. To get something of mine that was borrowed? Not sure. But then I go over to another table, more crowded, surrounded by a group, and there I grab something, but somehow my way is now blocked and instead of asking for room to get past, I crawl under the table. At this point I notice somewhat clearly that I'm wearing a hoody, a cream coloured one, that I probably would have worn back then but still have now; but I felt the age I am now.

      I crawled out from under the side of this group table, somehow not getting kicked at all even by accident.

      The rest of the dream's detail is missing.

      Dream Fragment:

      Me and H were at home, in the kitchen. The room seemed bigger than it actually is, including the ceiling height, which in reality is already over two people's height combined. The lights were on and the curtain roll was down on the window.

      I don't remember what we were doing when suddenly we were stepping into the hallway for a bit and lights started flickering, out of sync with each other. They'd go really dim or completely out. H was really confused by this and I was finding it odd. We didn't have any high-power things on. One of the lights started making a loud repeating clicking noise, I think the fluorescent light in the kitchen or some other fluorescent light that doesn't actually exist. But in my mind at that point I thought it was a relay for whatever reason.

      I told H to try and find out what was going on, as I was getting worried the clicking noise was actually something shorting out and sparking. He told me to turn everything off, so I went to the electric trips board and (impossibly) moved it into the middle of the kitchen, where I had a look at it with some light. I forced the RCD to trip and that turned mostly everything off except one light somewhere and H was disappointed but came over and I told H to see for himself what he wanted to do. He flicked some other trips and then everything was completely off.

      Then there was some knocking at the door. We were finding this all very odd and I couldn't imagine who it was. I was about to answer the door but tentatively waited. I saw through the front room window ( in the dream more like a mini conservatory thing than the flat windowed wall of reality) a man going to next door's and knocking there. The neighbours answered and had a little chat with him, and he was saying how he was sick of all these electrical noises he kept hearing on and on for days coming from someone else's house. I thought to myself "I couldn't agree more" or something to that effect.

      The man looked like Haymitch from the Hunger Games, but fatter and somewhat older. In the dream I realised he was one of the neighbours further to the left, past our direct neighbour on the left. It seemed to be daytime but rather desaturated and gloomy outside.

      I think I told H about what I saw and then wondered who the hell was causing all this. I forget the rest of the dream.

      Dream Fragment:

      At a church, not sure who else is there exactly but Fry from Futurama was there. He was saying random things and somehow the congregation was loving him and he was getting ordained. I remember him saying "W-what? I'm not even trying to be nice at this point!", clearly upset that despite some purposefully obnoxious actions he was still being praised, when it wasn't at all what he wanted.

      Remember little from this dream except that the visuals were all a bit odd, like my head was hanging low. I remember there was a pipe organ in this church.



      No side notes, but made some notes in-line with the dream content.
    4. lxx.

      by , 01-21-2020 at 04:24 PM
      The first fragment was from yesterday, I remembered more yesterday but didn't have a chance to make note of it. The other two were from today; lost most of the dreams' information due to how the morning went.



      Dream Fragment 1:


      Something about four commanders. Was supposed to meet them? Not sure. Dream took place in some concrete parking lot type structure.

      Dream Fragment 2:

      Taking a bus, it didn't look like a normal bus and only me and someone else were in it (H?), no driver, that I can remember. We got out just before a road intersection. There was a church-like building to the right, across the road, but in the dream I knew this was in the context of a university campus or something; there were a few buildings but it mostly seemed like a village area more than anything. It was quiet outside, it was day time.

      Dream Fragment 3:

      Possibly related to the previous fragment. Cooking or preparing food whilst inside a train, but generally darker than the previous fragment. I remember distant cliffs at a lower altitude but nothing specific other than a generally arid landscape. Vague memory of desaturated blue tones. Sort of day time but not very bright.
    5. xiii.

      by , 07-31-2018 at 08:54 AM
      Non-dream stuff: A very long non-lucid dream. I only remember one part of it, that I held on to loosely as I was quickly forgetting everything, deciding this was the most important part to remember.



      Dream sequence:

      I was in my native country, in the dream context it had been explained why I think but I can't remember it. I was in a small town and it was day, looking to soon be sunset, as everything looked a bit orange.

      This was just a typical town and I was wandering around and there was an old brown-stone church, with one of its doors wide open. I walked in, and I remember I was looking at the floor just before doing so and seeing a roach type bug, but small. In the dream context there was something about going to visit local landmarks. When I entered it wasn't like a church at all, but a community centre of some kind. It was deserted. All the lights were on, but there were many many webs... and spiders, weird ones, some almost as big as my hand. I was very wary, but something compelled me to continue and I kept my instinctive fear in check, wondering why I was fearing them, they were just stood there on their webs, undisturbed for years, clearly.

      I wandered through the first two rooms, and the second room was at the "back" and had large modern glass windows that were letting the sunset light in. Everything had that orange light bath, as expected. I used my boot to clear away some webs I just couldn't avoid if I wanted to move further. After having a look around in this room, where there had been some displays of some kind, I turn back a bit and again have to carefully remove some webs from the way, feeling extremely wary of the spiders on it. I remember being in a room or common hall that connected other rooms and there was a bag of some kind on a swivel office chair. On topof the bag was a black leather wallet. Everything was absolutely covered in webs and I looked at the wallet with the intent of seeing what was inside and taking it, but I saw a slightly open door and could sense something. It was a very small room, a cupboard of some kind, and I couldn't fully open the door in, because of an object inside. The light inside the tiny room was also on, oddly. I reached with my left arm into the room and felt something stony and as I touched it, I saw the wallet and bag disappear and heard a female voice saying "You have resisted temptation. You are blessed with protection." I could "see" an interface icon showing a "buff" as in a game, but the context of the dream felt all too real.

      I remember exploring a little more but there were some areas taht didn't have lights on and were getting on for darkness. It is implied in the dream that I went into these areas, as next I remember being at a doorway in the same building and walking into my the room my mom uses as an office at home in waking life, except the view through the windows was part of the dream context. I found it odd to find this room, but didn't question it much. I looked at her computer screen. It was on, something about this feels emotional though I have no idea now what was on the screen, other than the fact that on some timestamp it said the date was "2013". It was 2018, I knew this in the dream context. I took a photograph with my phone of the screen, and I thought something but I can't remember what. I seem to remember that at some point before this in the dream I'd found something else pertaining to my mom, from the past also. Even in the dream I couldn't help but wonder, are these things I'm finding related to her mental health?

      I know I went out of that room but I cannot remember more details, even though the dream sequence didn't end there.



      Some notes (spread out because they'd be too dense to read otherwise):
      • The sunset is a dream-sign. I hadn't realised this before. It is distinctly different from all other times of day, and in my dreams it always represents "the end" (of time, in some way).

      • Even in the dream I thought everything in that light looked beautiful.

      • As I saw all those spiders, I was about to react instinctively and let out some reaction of fear, but the fact that in the dream I had strongly intended to go into this building and that I somehow felt compelled to go further in, made me remember my practice of trying to keep my fear in check. This is the first time in a dream that I have truly supressed such a basic and intense fear, as far "consciously" as my dream mind would allow. Keep in context that I have been an arachnophobe almost all of my life until very recently, and that in dreams basic fears and instincts are much, much stronger in my behaviour.

      • In the dream context I remember being told by someone to look at the local points of interest and landmarks because I could be interested in them and because they needed people to do some tourism around here. That's the context I had for the "church".

      • The bag/purse under the wallet was magenta. The office chair was a deep blue, I think.

      • All I can remember seeing on that computer screen was a few different windows open, and maybe an image as one of the windows, which is what had the timestamp. In my dream, I knew that my mom had not been in this office for a long time. It looked just as the rest of the community centre.

      • I do not know why even out of the dream now I feel some strong emotion thinking about the date and the screen. As far as I remember, 2013 was no different for my mom, if anything, her mental health has improved greatly since then. But considering it now, it was also when I moved to where I live now, away from my native country.

      • At some point in the dream I understood the sunset feeling like "end", though I'm still not certain what about.

      • The community centre (which was actually the church, after all) corridors and rooms looked, actually, much more like a very stereotypical office building and some doctors offices I've been to.

      • As for the context of my mom's mental health, she suffers from bipolar or something the like, but has it very well controlled by medication these days.

      Updated 07-31-2018 at 09:00 AM by 95293 (Butchered the list a bit to make it more readable instead of it being all condensed.)

      Categories
      non-lucid , memorable , dream fragment , side notes