• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. cccxcvii. In a car with mom, As a woman for a party, Talking with Hilary, At a supermarket, Rural

      by , 07-15-2022 at 06:58 PM
      2022 June 30th

      Very disjointed. Left recall too late. Would like to make some proper side notes for this one too at some point.

      Dream (DFLN):

      I'm in a car in a town with mom. She's driving me around in a large and modern Nissan, trying to get me to a local airport I think. There are roadworks just about every way she thinks of taking. I try to suggest some routes she can take but she doesn't seem to want to listen to them and possibly mentions something about the fact that she's driven here for X many years and so on.

      (recall gap)

      I'm at some kind of palatial building, here for a fancy party or ball. I'm in what is my guest room at one point. I'm a woman, except for my private areas. Someone I met just earlier (forget who) left me a dress here in the room and I think about putting it on. It's a very simple dress and is a cream colour, slightly darker than my skin tone. I have wavy hair, possibly fake blonde. Putting the dress on in bed, I think about how a dress will still be revealing of male private parts. I feel uncomfortable with this but don't see what I can do about it and reason to myself that people generally don't look to that sort of area and that I can to do things like sit down and such to possibly not make it as noticeable.

      A bit later I'm at a dinner at a long table. The fancy palatial theme remains. This theme seems to feature primarily white, cream/pink and gold as colours. Somewhat plain while still being lavish.

      (recall gap)

      I'm still a woman. I'm with Hilary. (from DV, i.e., here!)

      We're talking about dreams and artwork. I am supposed to have made three artwork commissions for her but I haven't made them yet and feel guilty. We're somewhere outside and it's night time. It's grassy and open, I'm not sure there's anything taller in the horizon that I can see.

      In the sky I see the three commission ideas fading in and out as stars. The first one is a crescent moon, the second a side portrait of a woman with hair tied back, and finally something else which I've lost recall of. Hilary doesn't seem upset with me for not having finished these commissions yet, but I still feel disappointed with myself.

      We talk a bit more and then she takes me to some physical threshold, maybe a door. I think she wants me to come with her to a dream?

      (recall gap)

      I'm my usual self again and at a bulk buy super market. Possibly a Makro (which I don't think I've ever been to). I am unfamiliar with the layout but I look around for things with confidence.

      I find some frozen chips and think about the price. I see they cost 2.1 for 2.5 and I reason that at 1.5 for 1.5 normally, this is slightly better and I grab a bag. Then, I wander the shop trying to think what else I want and as I feel like I actually didn't want much more, the shop also gets noticeably smaller and is more like a convenience store now.

      I look around again and see some socks, making me think that H might like some but I don't know the size and I don't want any for myself because they look too loose. I see a basement stairs bit and there's a bunch of plushies in a large metal cage basket thing next to the stairs. I think about getting some. They feel fluffy. They cost 60 each though and I think to myself that I really can't afford to pay this for a plushie and feel a little sad. At this point I also start to feel self-conscious and don't check out downstairs, which seemed to have Lego and more toys. So I leave to go the tills. At some point a fat man near me is coughing and I think I comment that I just had COVID and don't really want to get it again so soon.

      (recall gap)

      I'm in a rural area. It's late afternoon. I'm with two men, dream characters I think. They are messing around a bit and one has a mini bike thing (7D2D intrusion?). I am on a field side of a wooden fence and they're on the road. As I walk along, I come to a tan coloured cow. She's on the floor and at first I think she's asleep, but then I see the side of her muzzle and see it looks to be rotting, with a hole about the size of a gold ball and with some tendons showing through or something. Difficult to describe. I feel somewhat unsettled and I'm also worried for the farmer now. But I think we should get out of here before we get mistaken for having done something to the cow.

      We go up a small hill road and we come to a building with a store or something. Then there are four of us and we decide something about super powers. Then inside a building it's a bit like a factory or foundry.

      (rest of recall was too vague)
    2. cccxciii. K grieves for her dog, I have a dog put down

      by , 06-24-2022 at 04:50 PM
      Some small in-line notes and such.


      2022 June 13th

      Quick note to self, this was also the date of the appointment.

      Fragment:

      (left recall too late)

      I'm in a mountain town or such. It's sunny, mostly clear. At some point my friend K calls me, but I think I miss her call.

      Later in the dream, something about water. Not as sunny now? I think I speak to K on the phone now, but it's like I'm also next to her too? (vague recall) She tells me that she wanted to invite me to a party before, and I apologise for missing the party. She then tells me that her dog G has died. I say that I'm sorry to hear it, and I hear her voice breaking a bit and I feel myself close to crying too, knowing very well what her pain will be like. We talk about something else for a bit.


      2022 June 15th

      Fragment:

      I'm in a street, I have a dog with me. She looks like S but has worse behaviour and at one point "play" bites me, a bit too hard on the left wrist. I look for a wound but don't notice any, and then I think about how it actually didn't hurt all that much.

      (gap)

      Someone else was present in the dream up to this point, though now I think I'm on my own with the dog again, at a place that is supposed to be like a veterinary practise. A vet person gives the dog an injection. After about ten seconds, the dog is numb and she can't really move at all. I pick her up and put her on a conveyor belt thing. There's a dark atmosphere/mood. The dog is here to be put down. I feel sad, and also think that it's a shame she couldn't have had better behaviour.

      (there had been more context to the situation but these were the bits of recall I lost in the gap)


      2022 June 16th

      Scraps (DFLN):

      Many dreams. Only recall one dream where I was in a dark room with zombies. They seemed slightly aggressive, but not entirely.

      (Although I was playing 7d2d at the time, I also became ill with Covid after this)
    3. ccclxxxix. A's bags, Police drama, Mount farming, Russian exchange

      by , 06-24-2022 at 01:35 PM
      2022 May 27th

      8:11
      Fragment:

      Talking to my friend A on Discord, via voice. Eventually, she shows me a handmade skullie she got. It looks simple but nice. She looks a bit like A, H's sister. Then a bit later, she also shows me a handmade handbag, looks knitted. Again kind of simple but also looks good. And finally, she shows me a second handbag, also handmade, apparently by a friend of hers on Etsy. It has a dark tanned leather exterior and a silk-like fabric interior. It looks quite complete and is somewhat amazing really.

      Her dad seems to be there too. He's got curly hair and beard, looks kind of slim. I feel a bit bad that I know what they look like, but they don't know what I look like.

      Then, I'm there myself, but it's actually more like my old home. Soup is being made by H. He's making a traditional soup but there's no kale in it and I complain a bit.

      (rest of recall was lost)

      9:30
      Fragment:

      Half like a police drama. Sometimes I was one of the leading characters, and other times just observing. A man and a woman. (on waking, the format reminded me of Wire in the Blood, but taking place in America)

      The female character started off depressed and by the end was very jolly and happy and they lived together as a couple in the end.


      2022 May 30th

      Disjointed Dream (DFLN):

      I'm at Tanaris desert. I'm going around near the town, I think at one point I'm lacking the level for mounts but at another point I do have a mount.

      (gap)

      I'm in Stratholme, where I'm farming Rivendare for the mount, and it drops twice in a row. I am able to use the mount in the instance.

      (gap)

      I'm in Russia. Some kind of prisoner exchange is taking place. The prisoner our(?) side is releasing is a soldier, and the Russians are releasing to us a guy who I don't personally really believe deserves to be released anyway. I feel bitter about his release.

      When people speak in Russian, I can read subtitles, when I can remember to have my "real time" translator on.
    4. ccclxxxiv. Space dread, foreign land, art/drawing class

      by , 05-09-2022 at 06:37 PM
      2022 May 8th

      Fragment:

      Something like NMS. Flying through space in a system of a few planets. There's a Dyson sphere surface (like in FL before entry) and there's a planet which just seems to be melding or embedded with the sphere surface (which in itself appears impossibly flat). Something feels slightly trippy as I start to warp towards this planet.

      (recall gap)

      Border control place, at an Arabic-looking kind of building. Some kind of ID is needed to enter this place, which is an unspecified foreign country.

      (recall gap)

      Then I'm in a drawing class. Feels like college but with a mix of university too. There are photocopies of classical Roman-themed drawings which are sitting upright on a conveyor system and going around the classroom. I'm late to the class and don't get a brief and such. I start trying to draw based on one drawing of a gladiator down on the floor, the composition is focused on his head, wearing one of those brass helms. (Like in Jean-Leon Gerome's "Pollice Verso")

      I get about halfway through drawing this with a BIC pen and then somebody takes away the reference drawing I was using. I get annoyed by this and I try to simply wait to get it back and make attempts on my own to continue my drawing but it seems like it's not going to happen. I try to ask my tutor V for help but this doesn't go so well because he's trying to talk and me and others keep interrupting him and he forgets where he was with it, so he never really finishes circling around to any of us.

      Then the class is ending and my drawing remains unfinished, even though I'd been trying to make do without the reference. As people are leaving, someone takes the drawing I was working on, though I don't realise at first. When I do realise, I get annoyed and a bit frustrated by how everything was going.

      I just can't find the drawing anywhere and assume someone stole it. V and JC were waiting for me to finish looking because V was offering to give us a ride home and now they've been waiting a bit too long and just leave without me. It's now night time outside and there are other people around, so I am unable to distinguish who they are or where they went, in the dark.

      At this point I try to reverse time, without much fine control over how much time to reverse. The dream ends after a failed attempt where I reverted time too much, I think.

      Notes:

      - The main "trippy" thing about what was going on in the first segment was more or less what I could only ever describe as a feeling of dread when I first played some games like FL and when I experimented with placing planets and objects in such ways that the effect was so unnatural and which meant that when physically navigating these instances in a ship created a feeling very much like a fear of unknown and a sensation like falling. I can't really describe the effect on me too well because it has always felt particularly unique and I've never heard any special term for it, so weak comparisons are the best I can do.

      - I haven't thought much at all about something like the mentioned gladiator's painting for quite some time, though it is definitely amongst my favourites in paintings of such styles. The closest thing I can think of right now that has any associative resemblance would be thinking of a hairstyle for a character for H.
      -- The other aspect of this in the segment, is that the drawn reference of the gladiator that I was looking at was exceptionally well drawn and originally in graphite. The dead gladiator's expression was that of shock, looking sideways to his right, which relative to the position of his head would be "up". The point of view was at eye level to the dead gladiator and there was a fracture or some other kind of damage to the helmet. I distinctly recall there being chainmail under his helm.

      - The whole atmosphere to the drawing/college segment was one of a transitional phase, much like university actually had been. There was some dedication on my part but I was still not "in tune" with all of it. Although I do not recall exactly the quality of my own work too much in this segment, it wasn't too far off the original drawing I was looking at for reference. Symbolically, as this had the feel of a transitional phase and there are aspects of hindrances and frustrations, this is likely related to some of my current issues, which are not with some external factor this time but with an internal one, since it reflects the seriousness I want to put in while also reflecting something of myself to be lacking, with regards to having the required drive to push myself along where I want to go. (I am not feeling able to adequately express the sentiment of the relevance of this to myself right now)

      - Again this dream shows a strong symbolic element relating to three principles; individuality, group and collective, which seem to be strongly recurring elements at present, or perhaps my mind is much more focused on noticing this type of recurring element lately.
    5. ccclxxix. Overpriced cereal, experience from mobs, intimate moment

      by , 05-07-2022 at 01:03 PM
      17th April 2022

      Scraps:

      At old home, the shop underneath. I'm talking to the old owner, T. Mom is at the shop too after a while? I look for some cereal but I either can't find what I want or it's all weirdly overpriced. Something about being in the kitchen at old home. A pizza that bakes for too long? I am distracted by something, and also need to take S for a walk.


      23rd April 2022


      Fragment:

      Half-game, half-real. I'm killing some secret cow level mobs in an area that makes me think of the old home cul-de-sac. Then, I'm talking to L about XP per mob, I say I can do 400XP per second or about 120 something K per minute. We then ask J (family friend) who's nearby at a doorframe, see what he thinks.

      (Rest of recall was lost. Recall was left too long.)


      25th April 2022

      ~5:00
      Fragment:

      I am naked and H is here with me, probably naked as well. I have female genitals and H is inserting a sex toy. The sensations all feel very vivid and lifelike.

      (Left recall too long, couldn't muster enough will to make initial notes even though I intended to do so.)
    6. ccclviii. New friend and old friend, encounters near the old home

      by , 02-02-2022 at 06:28 PM
      26th December 2021

      Scraps:

      Some dream like FL. No recall of details.

      Fragment:

      Something with JF. He looks like his character? He acts rashly and impatiently, aggressive at first but we end up talking and getting along a bit. This seems to take place at old home. Outside at night, in the cul-de-sac car park, I'm walking to dad's old Scenic? And then I try to clean it, but it's now H's van and I just have a small jam jar type of thing to dump soapy water with. Somebody comes over, telling me off. This guy is being territorial about me being here and I try to reassure him and try to leave/get away.

      Then, inside the car with JC from school. Going out of the cul-de-sac but then JF is at the bottom of the end of the road (doing what? also normal size) and sort of forces us to reverse. JC struggles reaching the pedals (he still appears to be his younger self?) and I have to press the clutch for him a few times.

      Now at home, I'm in the balcony area past my siblings' rooms. Something happens here with JF and some discussion. My gladius? He says he knows all about its "frequency" or something. Then, discussing something about someone who modelled a sword and who worked at Blizzard, but was lost. Lost marines? (What did I mean here?)


      29th December 2021

      Scraps:

      Something in DII, I have reserved mana (GD intrusion), and I also find myself having too little mana anyway, even though it's at a value near 900. I have spare stat points I spend on Energy. Act 1 area, in the moors?
    7. cccxix. A's late husband, Dreaming of dreams

      by , 08-29-2021 at 04:06 PM
      19th August 2021

      Away from home at the time.

      Scraps:

      Something about a big drill at the tail end of a dream before waking.

      Before that, something more adventure-like.

      Another bit about S and A. But S was implied to have died and A was having a conversation with me, telling me all of this. In that moment I realise that was why we hadn't had any contact with her for a long time.



      21st August 2021

      Recall was good at first and dreaming presence was very decent too, lots of dreaming overall, but I was unable to write any recall down initially and it was left too long by the time I had another chance, meaning almost all detail was gone.

      Scraps:

      Something about dreaming and art.

      Last bit just before waking, I'm doing something charitable for someone. I'm somewhere like in Scotland and I remember moving around a fair bit. (in what way?)



      Notes:

      - I cannot know whether my dream realisation about A's husband has any truth or not, since we still haven't spoken. Sadly it's been years since we last spoke.

      - Dreaming about dreaming and art probably relates to some of the long-term lucid goals I have.

      - I'm not sure if I was still away on the 21st or not, possibly just after I had been.

      - I just realised while typing this DJ entry title that our host's husband passed away some years ago, perhaps this was what brought on the dream about A's husband, in some way.
    8. ccciii. Train escort duty

      by , 07-15-2021 at 06:43 PM
      15th July 2021

      Fragment:


      (recall going from later to earliest bit)

      I'm walking with a group of people, one of them is JC from school. He's older, but otherwise looks how he used to, mostly. We're escorting a mech, a train of sorts which is depositing rails in front of itself as it goes? I've just been paid for half of my service on our current mission. I was given two glittering golden rocks (the "gold" doesn't quite look like actual gold but in the dream I don't become aware of this). One of them is not covered in this glittering gold.

      The one that is completely covered in glittery gold, I hold in my right hand and crush as we walk. I see on the top right of my vision an interface element that displays that I was credited with 40 million credits. JC tells me the company actually recommends against doing this, especially without having finished the mission yet. I tell him "I don't care, my inventory is too full" and I think about how the group doesn't seem keen on waiting for me to sort this out, as evidenced by the fact that we're on the move.

      (just before this)

      I'm with JC wrapped in a sort of throw, it's grey and white. (I think like one I have at home in waking life) There's a very serious Covid context, though I'm not worried about it. R, also from school around the same time as JC, is not too far from us, she's some sort of inventory or cataloguing person? She's wearing a labcoat, which when I first see her makes me do a RC by counting the fingers on my right hand, though my RC fails to pass, for one thing because the count was correct and for another because I didn't question it further because of the social situation.

      Me and JC are a distance away just sitting here basically. R tells us that we have to wait for this shipment of cloth or something. I think I check the order details myself, either on an interface element or some nearby physical interface. Unfortunately, we still reach the conclusion that this is the best option. I was considering trying to change the order to something else that would still be suitable but delivered quicker. Any other option is noted to have an even longer lead time on production.

      R chit chats, saying she's surprised that "you two idiots are still around", as if she expected to never see us again in life. I tell her in jest "dad always says there are always idiots around; I guess that happens to be here" or something to this effect. She's amused in some way but still thinks the same of us, I don't find myself thinking about it much further one way or another. Me and JC sort of become melded with each other as we're sat here, waiting in the bundled throw. R is very strict about viral control, but I don't recall in what way. She partly looks like an Asian woman in her thirties more so than herself really (probably a dream attempt at making her appear a more chronologically correct age).

      Then there's a drone of some kind. It's scanning the local area and I ask R about it, "is it a geological survey drone?" but she doesn't reply, not ignoring me, but as if I never said anything. I get up and follow the drone around for a bit, the view swaps from first to third person and back again a few times. I follow it to a site not too far, a beach of some kind and it goes into a receptacle that changes shape mechanically, as it receives the drone. Then, from the sea a train sort of surfaces from the water, it all looks very Japanese "Mecha" style. (This is where the first bit of recall started)

      (there was more recall from earlier parts but they faded and other details were lost, it was a long dream)



      Notes:


      - This is the most recent time I've actually done a reality check whilst dreaming, which goes beyond just thinking about it, but because of the social context at hand I became distracted far too easily from really questioning reality. Even so, with the previous DJ entry, that's two times recently compared to not very often, if at all, in the last months.
      -- I am realising now that this may be an issue with my artificial dream sign, by its nature it's more likely to include a distracting social context. I should think further on this. In addition to that, I think it's ironic on some level I decided to do a hand RC when it isn't necessarily my preferred way of checking anymore. If I could go back into this dream and change my approach, I would instead have stopped and thought about what I was doing and where I was; after all, how could I be meeting people I knew years ago but haven't seen since, for no reason at all? Not just one of them, but two of them at the same time, along with other suspicious dream qualities.

      - The dream had a bit of a feel of MHW and Dark Souls there at the end.

      - There was something "desaturated" about all of the dream's location. Like there was a faintly yellow mist and there was no sky to speak of exactly, just this mist. No memory of shadows really, defined or undefined.
    9. ccxci. Exploring a haunted castle

      by , 06-26-2021 at 04:46 PM
      25th June 2021

      Unknown fragment at 8:30 but went back to sleep with dreaming intent around lucidity.

      Fragment (10:00):

      In a long rectangular building, it's like BL. There are lots of players here, including J and others I don't recognise. I feel he is ignoring me. Nearby someone is doing their "jackhammer" mining and someone in here is commenting on how it's a good thing there's no combat log to get spammed. J comments in a light-hearted way that AH's mining would have been worse. I see a fake-gold plaque mentioning her and some others?

      (recall gap)

      We're on a highway or something. At first in vehicles, I think? Then on foot or mounts, as we come off at a junction that leads into wilderness and dirt paths. It is evening/dusk, I think, just before sunset. The landscape feels like the Southern regions of my native country. We keep going along this path until I realise it's the wrong way and that we should have already turned off to the left for the castle we are supposed to get to. I'm a paladin and remember seeing myself in third-person on my mount for a while. I am the only paladin in the group.

      I use crusader aura and look at the minimap to help the people at the rear of the group so they benefit from it. One person in our group is Hillary Clinton? I think we address her as madam president. The castle reminds me now of Karazhan but it didn't during the dream.

      We go through several rooms. They are dark and seem to follow a normal house layout. Something about ghosts. Trying to help them by filling a sink with bleach, cleaning it while wearing some gloves; detritus is keeping the ghosts trapped here somehow. But this doesn't work and the ghosts complain of suffocating. I ask someone to open a window (double glazed, swings out on the top half from the middle) and we move on I think. Crossing some rooms sometimes leads into a loading screen of some sort. (Recall faded too much and detail was lost.)

      Earlier, or later, kind of with the same group, I'm looking through some old stashes of food. Mostly tinned or jarred stuff, but maybe some fresh things too. Under a man-made waterfall spout, in some kind of old metal receptacle (oxidised bronze?), there's jam in a jar and something like yogurts in plastic pots. Someone tells me not to bother taking anything, that it's all ancient. But I see on the jam there's a marking on the top indicating it has an expiry date of "28/2" or something which I infer to mean 2028 and so I take it.



      Notes:

      - There was a feel of Scholomance to the inner depths of the castle.
      -- The dark ambience was generally blue-ish.

      - The dried up man-made waterfall area was cliffy but was sort of in-doors, I feel. The rocks were mostly tones of grey, possibly with moss or lichen.

      - Not sure what brought about Hillary Clinton as a dream character. I am reminded while writing this that I was recently thinking about MoonageDaydream's name but unable to remember it at that time, realising that maybe it's Hillary, at least I seem to remember reading that in one of her dreams before.
      -- I haven't really been trying to think about any DV members specifically of late, but I do still check DV often especially before bed.
    10. cclxxxix. Outland mining, moody friend, desert island and space dock

      by , 06-24-2021 at 08:24 PM
      24th June 2021

      Some in-line notes, some side notes.

      Dream (fragmented):

      Playing as a level seventy human warrior, protection spec by the looks of the gear.

      I'm in some kind of life-like place with rooms, but on a flying mount and mining ores. There are Legion enemies around as well as general Legion stuff. I think about how something looks wrong, not as how I remember it (according to a dreaming false memory).

      (recall gap)

      I'm flying around Helfire doing ore mining, mostly getting Fel Iron but some Khorium and other novel gem ores, coloured after the type of gem they're supposed to be. Oddly, I can't mine Adamantite at all. I manage to avoid fights with horde players by flying to ore locations in a random pattern, helped by having the fastest mount, some kind of gladiator's nether drake by the looks of it, not too different from whatever I was using before.

      I go to parts of Helfire that don't actually exist. One such place is a floating rock isle, high above and to the south east of the peninsula. There are some unremarkable chests here, they give me a few silver coins, something like twenty to fourty as well as random crappy items. They feel worth getting since nobody else is after them and this area seems to have little interest. Some people, ghosts, come out of some ruins on the south part of the island, some two/three hundred yards away. I forget who the ghosts are or what they say, but it's a mom and a dad and their pre-teen daughter. Despite a life-like quality to them, they still seem game-like.

      Then I fly away to the north from here, to an area that's east or north east of the peninsula; it's more at the same height level as the general landscape and not quite so fragmented as the other island. It's the leftovers of some kind of world tree thing that some night elves tried making. There are some NPCs here that provide alternate introductory quests for people entering Outland.

      (recall gap)

      I see from my friend's list that HW is on his priest. He's only sixty and this seems normal to me. I remember physically being in a place like a regular room with him. I suggest that he could go level up. It seems he's annoyed, he was trying to do tower captures in EPL but I can't figure out why and I don't ask. This room has windows and light comes in from outside, but it feels dark and dingy even so. There's an off-orange tint?

      There's some kind of IKEA shelf thing. There's hi-fi on top of it. I adjust the top unit because I'm concerned about it dropping off, it's just barely bigger than the shelf's surface area. In the dream this hi-fi belongs to HW but also seems to be his PC or something.

      (recall gap)

      Later on I'm on some kind of desert island. It's sunny and grassy and wild, a little bit of rolling hills. I have an inventory with some food but need to get wood break some rocks to make better tools with. Vague recall of beating on a rock with some tiny drum sticks, amused by the rhythmic noise. (Not realising that I couldn't have performed this action in waking life since I have no experience of it)

      This is after some bit where I had been on the island and I'd finished my "run" of it. This bit now was like a new game or a reset.

      (recall gap)

      A different sequence about space ships and docking into a large and complex vertical structure (in space?) with hundreds of individual hangars for sort of fighter-sized ships. The hangars have blue energy fields at the entrances. Inside there look to be full amenities (not unlike a Freelancer equipment shop?).

      I think to myself it's amazing I get assigned to dock on landing pad one, when there are literal hundreds of them. I am here with someone else, maybe HW, but whoever it was didn't want me near them. I find this annoying, since the dock assignment was automatic, as was the docking procedure, so I couldn't override to get closer to them (and help them feel better?).



      Notes:

      - There are some less common dream elements to this dream, for one thing it was fairly consistent about Helfire's look and layout. On the other hand, the room I met HW in seemed like it could actually be his flat room, though the IKEA shelf and the hi-fi stuff seemed like ours; associative link between IKEA and HW, since both are from Sweden?

      - The bit in space was a mix-mash of most of the space themes that have made impressions on me, like Homeworld, Freelancer, Elite Dangerous and a few others. The "vertical" bit may have been brought about by what I heard in the audio documentary of the fourth Alien film, which at the time had made me think about the Hiigaran mothership.
      -- It's a shame I haven't really had any dreams that I can recall that are more directly around Alien themes and WY.

      - Perhaps the reason I couldn't mine Adamantite (red skill level) was because I generally think of Adamantium-related materials to be very top end, although in the game Khorium would be the top end material.

      - The irony of me being 70 and HW being 60 on his character is that this is a role reversal, where I'm trying to include him by saying it would be a good idea for him to level up.

      - HW seemed moody, annoyed or upset, in the dream. I think I couldn't understand why and wanted him to feel better.
    11. cclxxxvi. Inferior laptop, Accidental exercise

      by , 06-21-2021 at 10:25 AM
      20th June 2021

      Fragment:

      Outside, walking through a town area of some kind, it's mostly flat, maybe with some downwards incline. I'm with someone I know closely, maybe J or L. There's something about a lan party of some kind. Walking through the town, maybe food or fast food is mentioned. There are eight of us in total? I am carrying a laptop around in one of the laptop bags we have here at home in waking life. In the dream, I am aware of my laptop being inferior to everyone else's.

      Something about eating beans? There's some kind of sauce, maybe chilli, but no rice. There's a familiar taste.

      While reading the exercise on p.78 of Dream Gates:


      I'm sitting down and reading this exercise thinking about desert, then beach and then home. From the windows of many of the flats people are banging pots and pans, my awareness or focus on this quickly fades and then I'm focusing on the cars parked around the cul-de-sac, which are warm to the touch from the sun, but there is a morning light so actually most were in shade. Suddenly S appears, her lead is in my hand and she licks my face; I lick her back for good measure because I always feel she needs to have perspective of how it feels. She reels a little as she would.

      Then she starts pulling hard on the lead, barking or growling at some passer-by and making me trip over and fall to the floor, vaguely feeling myself being dragged along but without any of the friction I'd expect. She makes her way to the hills behind the garages, it looks as it did after the shanties were removed but before the supermarket built. The scene changes to be next to the eucalyptus on that hill. Then, I have a vague intent.

      It changes to unfinished highway that would be visible from the hill. I'm under the unfinished underpass of a concrete bridge. I know there's a door to my left but I cannot turn or see it from my point of view. I feel it's a metal door, painted a deep blue, maybe a little rusty. Like ones I've seen somewhere before in my childhood.

      I sort of unintentionally break away from this and then just continue reading a bit more and then write some notes down for this.



      Notes:

      - Although the exercise asks for thinking of natural places and afterwards I found that my old home felt natural enough, because there's vegetation and bush in several parts and the building of where I used to live has always been pretty much on the edge of town, so nature of some kind has never been very far.

      - The visualisation came about mostly unintentionally but it was pleasant, especially because although I couldn't see S very well, I appreciated the fact that she was there as some kind of animal guide. I was always told by mom that black dogs are considered luck charms in certain cultures, so I suppose that was present in my mind on some level. Thinking about it now, S appeared very well and despite vague visuals, she seemed just as I have always known her.

      - The concrete underpass was shady and the unknown door could be a such a figurative entrance to the underworld and so on as the exercise suggests, even though the door might not lead down, it would go through earth.
    12. ccxlviii. Whistling, Old woman wishing to be left alone, Messaging Moonage

      by , 05-16-2021 at 10:10 AM
      15th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Whistling but wearing my work mask? Comes out as normal in waking life, kind of weak, since I don't really know how to whistle.

      (recalled this after trying to whistle while making food)

      16th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Part of a long dream. I'm entering a flat and need to get something I or someone else left there? There's plenty of furniture and stuff, it feels complete, if a bit dark or dingy; a cool ambient light? I enter a room and there's a bed, not realising that there's someone laying in it.

      I reach for whatever I'm here for. An old woman sits up quickly on the right side of the bed, which is for a couple. She starts sort of shouting with some kind of desperation and sadness in her voice, shouting at me things like how she wants to be left alone and how she wants me to leave. I hesitate, not saying anything back, and eventually do leave.

      I return at some point later in the dream and essentially the same thing happens, only with slight differences, such as things said.

      Vaguely recall being in an outdoor area, I talk to someone who's close to me. We talk about the old woman. There's a full car park? I remember taller than average vehicles, maybe like caravans more than lorries.

      At another point I am in the stairwell of my old home. Something feels distorted but it seems about right otherwise. It's bright, but from the lights, not sunlight. There's something about a neighbour, something about food? Indirect interaction.

      Fragment:

      I'm messaging MoonageDaydream here on the DV forums, telling her something from when I was about 15 or so?



      Notes:

      - At a first guess, the old woman is a direct representation of a certain aspect of myself that feels exactly as she did. Her emotions felt clear in the dream, though my dreaming self as a character did not react so much that I can recall.
      -- The old woman's hairstyle was somewhat like my paternal grandmother, but I do not recall who her face might have resembled.

      - Whistling is something I've tried to do for many years, everyone in my family can whistle and has done so since I was a kid but I only learned to do it a little bit very recently, the last three or four years.
      -- Incidentally, when is it not very recently? Five years, six, seven?

      - I had no recall at all of my surroundings in the whistling fragment, as if my visual focus did not go past my own face, in some way.

      - Messaging Moonage probably came from recent interactions, but I don't know what could be particularly relevant to discuss from when I was 15.
    13. cclxv.

      by , 05-09-2021 at 09:33 PM
      8th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Mom, new medications, a swap or trade for her? (not sure what I meant by this and recall is too gone)

      Fragment:

      Watching HW play an undead rogue wearing a T2 helm, he's sort of streaming PvP activity where he's killing other horde players but also alliance, not focusing on any particular group more than another. He is in a full party with some friends who are helping him with the PvP?

      (gap)

      HW is visiting me, at a mix of my current and old home. I'm with him in the kitchen, downstairs. There's a moment of intense laughter when I or he make a joke, sort of together, but I forget what it was about. We're about to head upstairs and I go into the pantry (what pantry, which home?) and grab the only two beers there, as well as an orange juice drink in a similar but clear glass bottle. I ask HW what he wants but he doesn't seem to hear me. I ask him again once we are upstairs, also asking H if he wants one of these things too. I have some feeling of concern about who will pick what?

      9th May 2021

      Fragment:

      Planet-landing, some colony and I'm? using a tank to take over the colony. Something about it being a job in planning by others for three years. I prove them wrong by myself by assaulting a base and then I eventually get some reinforcements to assist me. Then in a cave, the dream changes and becomes about wrestling or some form of free fighting. I remember breaking things up, made of wood.

      Dream:

      I'm in a place like L with H, walking across a busy street. It's sunny and looks pretty much as I might expected, considerably busy too. I see MB walking ahead in front of us at one point as we walk to wherever we're going but H doesn't notice or care. I feel annoyed and think to myself "yeah, you walk away you bastard" as I watch him go up another street on an incline, beside some kind of train or transit station.

      We eventually go up the same street too and H says he's going to call someone (one of our parents) but he notices the phone number is totally wrong for the contact, deciding to ring anyway and finding out who it might be. The other person answers and is equally curious and confused but they are nearby so we backtrack a little to a bit with a cafe. We approach and H talks to this person he had been on the phone with. I don't realise it in the dream but any awareness of them drops off as I focus on my aunt B who is sat at the next table over, facing an unknown dream character who is her friend.

      For some reason, as we get talking, this unknown character is showing me the inside of her mouth, which impossibly looks bigger on the inside than on the outside. Under her tongue, there is a pepperoni pizza pattern thing going on, but it's some kind of fungal structure that is an uncontrolled infection. I remember being told about this but in no detail.



      Notes:

      - The last dream with MB was about four months ago.

      - The dream recall for all of these is poor because while I did make initial notes, they were extremely brief and I had planned on getting around to typing them up sooner, whilst recall was still fresh, but the days didn't allow for it.

      - For some time now I have been feeling like there's something wrong internally, on a physical level. I worry on some level that part of recent dream symbolisms are related to this but I have no real basis for this other than some recent aches that haven't subsided. Recently I have been getting random intrusive thoughts about cancer, possibly since that's essentially what AH passed away from.

      - I had some more notes I wanted to put down but I'm currently distracted and have a headache, so I'm being unable to focus.
    14. cclvii. City of cathedrals, Investigation, Concrete sewers and undead rabbits

      by , 04-23-2021 at 09:57 PM
      23rd April 2021

      Fragment:

      I'm in a city, with H or maybe a friend, possibly a dream character. It's built out of full-sized cathedrals which in turn also basically make up a lot of the surrounding landscape. Either way, I'm on a public footpath of some kind and with a non-conscious impression of being somewhere quite high up. There are many other people around, I remember seeing people going in either direction with backpacks on.

      The public path is built on top and as part of some cathedrals' rooves, which are partially flat. These bits have sections of tempered and thick (more than an inch) stained glass that allow pedestrians to walk over them and see inside the cathedrals that are below them.

      (recall gap)

      Something about a police investigation? I'm helping investigating or something.

      (gap)

      A concrete room underground. Related to sewers or some similar water processing facility? It's wet and there's some very deep water, which I can't see into very well but I'm not trying to look. There are platforms, this room has a feel of being like some kind of puzzle or challenge room.

      At some point, I'm now in the water. In the water, there are dozens or perhaps hundreds of undead and rotting rabbits. Their fur is green and patchy. The visible flesh is a pale violet or purple. The ones that have eyes, possibly glow. The undead rabbits swim mindlessly at the surface of the water. The water does not look unclean, despite their presence. In fact, it's kind of clear, even if I can't see very far into it.

      The room has a cold and dim light or ambience.



      Notes:

      Spoiler for Notes spoilered to keep DJ entry less lengthy:

      Updated 04-23-2021 at 09:58 PM by 95293 (grammar)

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    15. cclvi. Fuzzy reality, Memories, teaching a friend and dad's cancer

      by , 04-22-2021 at 03:10 PM
      22nd April 2021

      There are quite a few personal thoughts and notes here but I guess when are dreams ever anything other than personal? But this took me quite a while to type up, which is frustrating on some level.

      Fragment:


      Playing DII, with the barbarian. I remember I look at the waypoints and see I'm in Act 3 but it's actually hell (Act 4). The colours all look weird, the character looks a fuzzy dark navy blue on some parts. It's generally dark and I am going to where Diablo "lives", I remember going past the hellforge or something.

      Very little recall of this dream but it had a strange feel to it, a bit like some of the weirder pre-sleep dreams I used to get as a kid, where reality made no sense with waking physics and was all fuzzy like static noise.

      (DFLN) Dream:

      Spoiler for Lengthy dream:


      Spoiler for Notes, spoilered for length:

      Updated 04-22-2021 at 03:13 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , side notes
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