Morning of December 3, 2017. Sunday. Dream #: 18,612-04. Reading time: 2 min 15 sec. We live in Wavell Heights in Brisbane (where we have not lived in real life for years) in a different version of the Stadcor Street house. Zsuzsanna’s older sister Kathy is visiting. (We have not seen her much in the time I have lived in Australia. She appears as when I first saw her in 1994.) She makes fun of me by mimicking and exaggerating my visage. (This was a subliminal tie from a recent random thought of my deliberately silly facial expression from a post on my music site.) I become annoyed by her antics. I calmly state my IQ without anger and remark she does not know what she is talking about or doing. I inform her intelligence and appearance are unrelated. I say I can create or do anything. Suddenly, we are outside, yet we are also still in the house. On the front lawn is a bucket full of water. I wave my hand and focus, and its surface separates, rises, and parts (like Moses parting the Red Sea). “Oh, you have got to be kidding me,” she says with a baffled and slightly worried tone. From here, we are still in the lounge room of the house, but the south wall is missing. I walk through the area while continuing to focus and wave my left hand. An ocean is south of us, yet it also seems to be part of a wide canal. I move my hand towards the direction I want the waves to roll. They grow larger and larger, though I allow the ocean’s surface to become still at times. The intensity and vividness are incredible, and how it is responsive to my thoughts and intent is intriguing and satisfying. I decide to let it become still as some of the water is spraying into our house through the open room. Zsuzsanna and Kathy stand behind me, watching. Suddenly, I falsely recall (with accommodating dream content) our two youngest children are down near one area playing. I walk around to look down into the big canal, and there is a beach inside the area closest to our house. It is mostly gray boulders. Our youngest son and youngest daughter are lying on their backs over the wet rocks, asleep, and dripping water. I am worried about their status. I go and pick them up. They are so small they fit in my hand, and I carry them into the house and place them on our couch. They have not drowned and seem to be okay, stirring slightly, still asleep. Dreams are concurrent processes and not at all what popular culture thinks or propagates. It is crucial to understand Kathy is the preconscious simulacrum in this dream. Its purpose is to augment discernment and cause me to emerge into wakefulness, often by way of imposition as here. However, in this case, I instinctually hold the state and summon water induction to sustain and vivify my dream. It stems from the status of being in the dream state and is unrelated to the whole conscious self of waking life. Our sleeping children dripping with water validates this causal factor in a straightforward, familiar way. Throughout my life, I have instinctually modulated my dreams to sustain and vivify them by way of creating or manipulating water, though, at the beginning of every sleep cycle, it is usually already present and accommodating.
Updated 11-11-2019 at 08:14 AM by 1390
Morning of December 3, 2017. Sunday. This is a set of two dreams of the same sleeping period that need to be approached and studied as a pair, yet where my dream self in the second dream recalls and designates the first as a dream while supposedly being in a real scenario. My first dream is of my current conscious self identity while the second dream is not, which is very strange unless one fully realizes that the personified subconscious (dream self) has no intelligence or viable memory or awareness of time or space. There were other dreams that occurred between these two without any in-dream recall of either of the other two. In my first dream, it seems to be late at night. I am in the front room (where my computer is set up in real life), though I am sitting beyond the right end of the desk where I have never sat in reality. My wife Zsuzsanna is also in the room (facing east towards our oldest daughter’s door), closer to the door to our porch. Despite the late time, our youngest son seems to be present as well. In a short time, our oldest daughter enters the room through her room’s door. She says there is someone (an intruder) in our house who is following her. In the semidarkness, to my left, I vaguely discern a tall male figure also coming through her doorway. I consider that I must act to prevent him from doing any harm (though I do not know his intentions and he does not speak). I lift up my left leg, swinging it to the left as he continues into the room, which causes him to trip over it. This is a very strange event, because I perceive my leg as being almost as long as the width of the room (though my dream self perceives this as normal). Additionally, my sense of touch and momentum greatly increases as I feel the unfamiliar male trip over my elongated leg to fall to the floor. I soon awake with a distorted but vivid awareness of my physical body, with a soft hypnopompic kick. In my second dream, I am in the back seat of a car, possibly also late at night. I am sitting next to the right window. My father (April 26, 1901-February 14, 1979) is to my immediate left and my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) is to his immediate left. They appear as they did in the late 1970s. No one else is in the car. I have no recall that they had died and I seem to be about thirty or younger (though I am fifty-six in reality). I am not sure whose car it is. There is a lot of activity to my right. Across the street is a large two-storey house on the corner. The car is facing the intersection that the house is near, though is across the street from the house. I have a false memory that one of my older half-sisters on my father’s side lives there and that my father’s half-brother (Marvin P) is there with my half-brothers (on my father’s side) as well. (Marvin died in July 1965.) There are about a dozen people in the yard and it seems they are visiting my half-sister. I talk about my first dream to my father and he nods, saying, “I have those dreams, too”. He goes on to talk about stopping intruders (in his dreams) with his left arm as they come through the doorway and making them fall down. My mother nods and indicates that she has also always had such dreams on a regular basis. My parents seem to have a genuine respect for my interest in dreams. My parents get out of the car (from the left side) and go around the front of the car to cross the street to visit my father’s relatives. My father seems to want me to go but I decide to stay in the car. I soon wake. My first dream is simply a preconscious event with increased RAS dynamics. This means that my dream was rendered solely to create a spontaneous muscle reaction for biological purposes, at least partly to cause partial waking to change my sleeping position. Most of my current conscious self identity is intact here and my physical nature is greatly enhanced in the waking transition. Still, this dream has a real-life source based on an event of years ago when it was our oldest daughter who alerted me to someone “trying to break in”, though that was not actually the case, only that a large rock was thrown at our southwest window. In my second dream, I am passive and in the back seat of a car, which means I am passive to the preconscious, which is not directly rendered let alone with any conflict. I am on the right, thus I am passively within waking orientation (and in fact, I subliminally choose to wake rather than remain within my dream, which could also relate to a need to change my sleeping position), which explains the passive nature of my dream. Talking with my deceased parents (unremembered as being deceased by my ephemeral dream self) about how they have the same recurring dream factors, while in a non-lucid dream, is intriguing, though without any real relevance. The dynamics of this dream relate to events from when I was only three years old despite the mix of erroneous ages of my parents and me. This pair of dreams is just a tiny example of how erroneous and skewed memory is in the dream state to the point of being an unexplainable enigma. In my first dream, I am of my present life in a well-rendered realistic sense. In my second dream, even in treating the first dream as a fully recalled non-lucid dream scenario, especially without realizing I am dreaming in the second, I inexplicably have no recall of my present life in the second dream. (My parents being present do not even trigger any sense of reflecting on my personal status). Yet, how could this really be the case if my first dream was fully of my present life and recalled in my second dream? It is a paradox. Since childhood, I have been trying to work out how such common dream state paradoxes are possible. It simply cannot be resolved in conscious afterthought.
Morning of December 2, 2017. Saturday. It seems to be afternoon. I am in an unfamiliar restaurant with my mother (July 14, 1916-October 2, 2002) and Marilyn (older half-sister on my mother’s side, April 25, 1942-February 13, 2014). They are facing each other from each side of the booth and closest to the window. I am on Marilyn’s right. I have no memory of their deceased status and no viable link to my current conscious self identity. My dream self seems to be about twenty-five years old (though I am fifty-six in reality). I could assume the location as La Crosse (America), though there is no direct focus or thought about where we are. There is no backstory. (The restaurant scenario indicates mild hunger during sleep.) My mother wants me to buy a Dutch sandwich for her from the restaurant directly across the street (perceived as west of where we are, which subliminally aligns to the street as west of where I am in bed in reality). Although I already have some money, she gives me about a dollar and fifty cents in small change, which is apparently what one costs. (My mother never said “Dutch sandwich” in real life as far as I know, and I never bought a sandwich for her in real life. Apparently, a Dutch Sandwich is the term for a tax avoidance strategy that some multinational corporations use to lower their corporate tax liability. I have no familiarity with this term.) I leave the restaurant, but instead of crossing the street, I continue north in an odd state of faux lucidity (with thoughts of finding my wife Zsuzsanna, without remembering who she is, for a lovemaking session). (Faux lucidity is when I might do something I would do in a lucid dream but without being aware that it is a dream. It is different from liminal dream control, apex lucidity, and normal lucidity.) My dream self falls back into the current scenario of my dream and I decide to buy the sandwich. I cross over to the west side of the street with the intent to walk a block and come back around easterly after walking south for about a block. As I walk along the west side of the street rather than the sidewalk, an unknown Hispanic male walks near the middle of the street to my left. He is carrying an unrealistically long telescope in a case, similar to a tightrope walker using a pole for balance. It seems nearly three-fourths as wide as the street. (There are a few other unfamiliar people walking along to my left.) He accidentally tips it up on the right and bumps the back of my head without realizing it. I do not alert him to this and he walks on ahead. I enter the other restaurant. I see a large alcove near the entrance (to my right as I walk in). An unknown female is there. She is sitting near a low-set counter (north). It has about nine sandwiches for sale, sparsely arranged. I stand on her left. (Zsuzsanna is sleeping in this orientation in reality, that is, to my right.) I ask if there is a Dutch sandwich here (directed at the cashier behind me on the other side of the room, not this customer). This customer tells me that she has bought and is eating the last one. On the opposite side of the room are two more unknown females who work there and of whom are behind a high-set counter near the cash register. I absentmindedly walk out of the restaurant with the bottom half of one of the other sandwiches without paying for it. Mayonnaise is on it as well as minimal lettuce. I soon realize what I am doing, walk back in, and give it back to the female closest to the cash register. The purchase area is similar to the Coney Island Restaurant in La Crosse I had frequented years ago (and of the same directional orientation), but my dream self does not note this. She tells me that she will make two Dutch sandwiches that I can buy and starts to make them in an area near shelves (about four tiers) opposite the service counter. The other female (more to my right as I face south) asks me about “feather sticks” and if people generally consider them as “lighter”. I assume she is talking about feather dusters, so I nod in agreement. However, she talks about cooking on a gas stove, which puzzles me. She had apparently said “feather steaks” and was asking whether they are “lighter” when fried using a gas stove rather than (presumably) an electric stove. (“Feather steak” could be considered as a flight symbol, which means that the preconscious is inducing dream state waking symbolism, especially as this is a checkout scenario which symbolizes emergent consciousness activation and my dream’s implied precursory exit point, though my dream self remains unaware of this, likely involving RAS, as it is also similar to “feathered serpent” and with “steak” rhyming with “snake”. A snake is the main biological waking prompt via RAS depending on the dream type and depth of sleep. The reference to “lighter” additionally relates to waking symbolism, hovering, and RAS-related inner ear dynamics that typically biologically manifest the falling sensation upon waking.) The other female has my sandwiches ready. They are not in any sort of bag and are atop each other (two-tiered construct, symbolizing conscious self identity over fictional dream self identity, which I am vaguely aware of but without a viable trigger). I get out my money to pay for them and see that I am holding several coins (in my left hand) that look more like small disks of sliced salami. I go to give her what I assume to be a dollar coin to start with, but it is apparently only twenty-five cents (as it is about the size of an American quarter). I tell her that I am uncertain of the value of the “coins” because it is not clearly noted on them. (At this point, I have a vague recall of Australian one and two-dollar coins while still puzzling over the variously-sized miniature salami slices as “coins”, though this is not enough to trigger any thread of emergent consciousness despite coins and cash registers at a checkout being a known and very familiar dream state indicator and precursory end marker since childhood.) I decide to get out my wallet and pay with an American five-dollar note. The change I get seems like normal coins, which I put in my right pocket with the “salami coins”. (Getting out my wallet at the checkout is analogous to trying to link to my conscious self identity via my fictional dream self near my dream’s exit point, as an ID is kept in a wallet in real life.) As I turn to my left to leave (atypical waking orientation, though Zsuzsanna now sleeps on my right for the first time in years), I notice I am not wearing shoes. I am not sure how or when this happened. I soon find and put on my left shoe, which is near the counter under the attached stools. I accidentally put a girl’s shoe, black with a buckle, on my right foot. (This is a childhood dream association when Brenda was a prescient stand-in for Zsuzsanna.) I realize this, yet accidentally put on a different pair of wrong men’s shoes after taking off my correct left one. (The different sizes of the shoes infer that my feet are actually changing somewhat in size, but my dream self does not notice this. This is similar to teeth falling out, which has no meaning but validates the dream self’s body as being fictional and in a state of cessation and with the inability to speak coherently while unconscious.) Finally, I am satisfied at wearing the right shoes and walk out the door and wake. Thus, the final marker here classifies the ending as doorway waking symbolism, which is common, where a doorway symbolizes the exit point of the dream state. Not wearing shoes is a typical dream state indicator as I do not wear shoes in bed. There are apparent shared dream state energies (or at least subliminal acknowledgment of the dream state), as the girl’s right shoe likely relates to my wife Zsuzsanna being asleep at the time to my right. The man with the long telescope is a second-level dream state indicator. It relates to seeing outside the dream state (and is a subliminal form of the emergent consciousness as a precursor to either waking or becoming lucid), but in this case, there is no trigger despite the exaggerated length and even bumping the back of my head. (For example, in an experimental lucid dream from the 1980s, RAS activated by each of my eyes quickly extending out diagonally upwards, each becoming a telescope, symbolizing my connection to discernible consciousness outside of my fictional dream body). The vague association with a tightroper’s balancing pole is symbolic of RAS and mediating between dream state awareness and whole consciousness as related to inner ear dynamics and “not falling” (not waking with the biological falling sensation or hypnopompic kick caused by the shift from unconsciousness to consciousness, the reverse of becoming dizzy and passing out when awake).
Updated 06-05-2018 at 05:07 AM by 1390
Morning of November 30, 2017. Thursday. My dream occurs in two main parts. It has the usual distortions and absence of viable conscious self identity. The only conscious self threads relate to knowing I am married to Zsuzsanna. The rest of my dream self identity ambiguously perceives itself as a teenager, and my parents are still alive. In the first part of my dream, I am in the kitchen of our present address (erroneously perceived as of Cubitis, where I have not lived since 1978). The layout of the house is different. Zsuzsanna is present and we are rearranging everything (which we had been doing a lot in real life lately after the storm tore the roof from our house, though that memory is not extant in my dream). There are two special pictures that present a three-dimensional impression. One is very large and displays a two-storey house. The other is similar to the pattern of our present bedroom curtain but features only one cheetah. I marvel at the large image of the house and its three-dimensionality. (It faces north when aligned to our present home’s layout.) As I change my position in the room and move my head, there is vivid imagery that looks as if the Venetian blinds in the house are closing and opening, depending on where I stand, though this relates to the angle I am viewing the house from, not the blinds actually moving. At least one bright light is on inside the second floor of the residence where this intriguing Venetian blinds effect is seen, which involves at least three windows. There is a sense of both pleasure and awe. (The windows are about five inches high.) The joy I feel is probably based on liminal realization of modulating my dream with threads of my conscious self, yet my dream self not actively comprehending this factor. I am then looking at the image of a cheetah (about eight inches in length to start with). I am able to manipulate the image by moving parts of it with my fingers, to make it smaller or larger or change the proportions. It does not become distorted no matter how I move different points of the image. Its three-dimensionality is similar to one of those toddler’s board books with the additional features implied to be fur or other textures (such as “Touch and Feel Wild Animals”). The clusters of fur on the cheetah image growing and shrinking depending on how I alter the image with my fingers fascinates me. Later, I notice my father standing by the doorway of our shed (our present shed, not the one in Cubitis). He is dressed in an unusual colorful outfit and has a large white beard. I go out and see that he is trying to move several large parts of machinery, one that looks like a small motor. Not being lucid, I still use a type of telekinesis. I am aware that the combined weight of the objects is quite heavy, yet I touch one (the smallest object) and all the other objects connect to it as if magnetic. I effortlessly lift everything and my father seems grateful. I realize that this means I am a witch. I place them out in the backyard through a fictional doorway on the east end of our shed. From here, there is an incorporeal and unseen male character that is somehow only partially present. There is brief talk with him about a fairy being a great wizard. My father walks to the west end of our shed (where the main door pulls up in reality). It is open to the street. There are at least two black horses facing north that I lightly pet. My father expresses no distrust or wariness of me being a witch. A shed or warehouse represents liminal space during the waking transition in a specific part of the sleeping period and is a factor of memory recall and storage. Horses as this dream’s end marker represent my “return” to my physical body in waking. The health or condition of a horse often relates to the health of one’s physical body or recent mental states (or that of someone known). (For example, after a classmate died, I had a terrifying dream of a horse falling down and suffocating in front of me, after it came through the doorway of our homeroom classroom, both a result of his death, and the unsteady state of my emotions at the time.) In one of my dreams of yesterday, I was a guardian angel “from the future”, helping a fictional character rendered as the actor Jonathan LaPaglia to fulfill his supposed destiny with his future wife. Then, in this one, I am a powerful witch helping my father. I manipulate imagery (though that was implied to be the nature of whatever technology was present) and effortlessly lift heavy objects by mental will (and not only do I lift them, they stick together magnetically in a very long cluster nearly as wide as the shed). There seems to be no difference between a powerful witch and an angel in some cases, at least from my dream self’s viewpoint. (My wife Zsuzsanna has appeared as both an angel and a witch in my dreams, including prescient dreams from before we met.) The Venetian blinds represent the virtual division between the dream self identity and the conscious self identity. The fact that I am not surprised by my telekinetic abilities validates liminal dream state awareness and liminal dream control (that is, with no realization it is a dream, yet having endless powers to create and control my dream state experiences). I certainly would not have this expectation or act as such when conscious.
Updated 06-05-2018 at 04:16 AM by 1390
Morning of November 29, 2017. Wednesday. Dream #: 18,608-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min. In the first part of a two-part dream, I indulge in realistic exercises, including jumping jacks. Unknown people are present but not in the room where I exercise. I wave my arms about and perform boxing motions. I feel strong and energized. I do not become tired despite the intensity of my movements. There is an extraordinary degree of imaginary physicality and momentum. I will compete in the Olympics in a few days. I say I will participate in the javelin throw. (It seems a participant can choose what they want to do.) I consider it might not be a part of the Olympics. I become a time-traveling angel in the backyard of the Loomis Street house. My dream self has no recall of my relatives ever living here. The actor, Jonathan LaPaglia, from “Seven Days” (the television series about time travel) lives here. My dream self perceives him as an ordinary person, with no recall of either his real identity or any of his roles. A scenario involves his neighbors offering him to put his extra junk across the alley where they put theirs. Both piles include damaged plastic toys (the kind we recently discarded in real life). Curiously, our real-life neighbor to the south, on the other side of our fence, is living just north of the Loomis Street house. It is intriguing how he is one of the only factors of waking-life recall and how he is here in an American setting I have not seen since February 1994. I was reading a paperback book about Jonathan and Callie, whom he had been in a relationship with for years but had never married or lived with her. I read he will miss out on having a life with her. He eventually accepts I am from the future but finds the situation amusing. (Callie Torres from “Grey’s Anatomy" is an association. Sara Ramirez, the actress who plays her, was born August 31, like Jonathan.) To change his destiny, he needs to go to a public area where she is with a bodybuilder. He misses his opportunity, but he can still go to her residence. We walk westerly through a version of Sill Street and near Kane Street to a strange house with two adjacent apartments but remain in the main entrance. We never see her. An unfamiliar couple (though not tenants, as another unknown woman lives in the left apartment while Callie lives on the right), ask me who I am. “I’m a person,” I say, so as not to reveal I am an angel. They pull me to the ground without violence and seem happy as if they think I will grant them wishes as a result. I teleport, and they drop to the ground. I stand on an elevated area, noting their surprised reaction with amusement. Jonathan LaPaglia reminds me of our landlord, who said we could use the bins at his nearby unrented property for additional items that were destroyed in the storm that tore our roof off.
Updated 03-03-2020 at 06:23 PM by 1390
Afternoon of November 25, 2017. Saturday. My beautiful wife Zsuzsanna and our children and I are living in a trailer in a trailer park in an unknown location. It is mostly in a field of low grass and not many land features, not even a discernible city in any direction, though there does seem to be a road in the distance. Thus, the only extant conscious self threads are of my present marriage status and nothing else, not even a focus on what country I am in, yet with my dream self (personified subconscious) ridiculously accepting the setting as legitimate (even though our large family could certainly not fit in a trailer). After some brief generic activities with my family, I step outside the trailer and notice a Belize guerrilla grinning at me and holding a rifle diagonally across his chest. He is standing about ten feet away from the trailer’s entrance. While all the other members of my family are still in the trailer, I lift my hands into the air while I am standing just outside the doorway, indicating my submission but only mild surprise. However, the guerrilla, an unfamiliar male of about thirty, points down at an area of ground with his rifle. I notice no less than twenty dead kraits in a cluster, the outer perimeter of the cluster being less dense with krait bodies in various curvy positions. Apparently, he has done us a big favor in having killed the surprising number of snakes, now strewn about lifeless on the ground near an isolated cluster of rocks to his left (my right). Lucidity comes in at only the last second prior to waking and I immediately recognize this common component and its core meaning. In approaching this dream with truth and understanding over superstition and the fallacy of “interpretation”, it is seen to be very basic. Some very basic knowledge about dreams is required; one, that this is an isolated dream during an afternoon nap, of which has entirely different symbolism than dreams of other time periods or during longer sleeping periods (due to the nature of circadian rhythms having the strongest influence over the dream state); two, that it was during a very light sleep with minimal REM; three, that this dream type is basically of waking symbolism only, with no relationship to real life. The personified preconscious (the Belize guerrilla - based on an unconscious confusion of Punta Gorda, Belize with my birthplace of Punta Gorda, Florida), typically linked to the reticular activating system (RAS) actually subdued it rather than augmented its dynamics. This is because RAS symbolism is only needed in extended sleep. My brief thread of lucidity is all it took to transmute the preconscious into the emergent consciousness. When one is ready to wake (especially during a lighter and shorter sleep), there is no need for aggressive preconscious mediation. A snake is the very epitome of RAS due to its “primal fear” status in the majority and bound to be the most inherent waking alert in many imaginary dream environments, yet many people persist in pointlessly bumbling along with imaginary “interpretations”. Being the oldest waking mechanism (other than the falling sensation linked to inner ear dynamics based on the shift in unconsciousness to consciousness), it is apparently even the origin of the Christian myth with the serpent (RAS) in the Tree of Knowledge (human brain in unconsciousness).
Morning of November 25, 2017. Saturday. In my dream, I am with my wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we presently appear. The setting is unrelated to real life, though my dream self lacks the memory and awareness of our real living space as is often the case (depending on the depth and extent of sleep). It may be sections of streets and buildings modeled after ones in La Crosse (America), Brisbane (Australia), or both. Over time, I become aware of the typical “something wrong with the sun” scenario. There are streams of plasma reaching Earth. At one point, far above the horizon and over the unknown city, I notice streams of plasma moving outward from a central point. There are a few resets of this dream. There is a scene where the sun explodes like a small fireball in the sky, but later events where the sun is still present. Eventually, the end of the world is assumed, though I am not that fearful of what is to come. Many people run around screaming as pieces of the sun slam into skyscrapers but there are unusual distortions in later events. For example, a blob of plasma from the sky heads toward the middle of the street. Instead of an explosion, the blob slows, stopping a few feet above the street, and transforms into a giant transparent pale orange puppy (about ten feet high) that then walks slowly about on the street. After a time, I start to realize that, despite all the streams of plasma hitting the city, there does not appear to be much destruction. One crashes fairly close to me and I am unimpressed and consider that it is not real (though not with viable lucidity). There is another change without a cohesive transition. Members of my family and I, including Zsuzsanna and at least our two youngest children, are now riding in a car with an unknown dark-haired male driver of about forty. Streams of fire and plasma hit buildings on opposite ends of the street we travel through. However, it is learned that the falling plasma is created by some sort of machine on Earth and is only holographic, with no physical repercussions. This also explains why there appear to be no destroyed buildings at this point, though the event is still continuing. This end of the world dream is somewhat atypical in being revealed to not be a celestial event as in many other such dreams. However, the majority of my common end of the world dreams since early childhood often present “something wrong with the sun”, rather than for example, “something wrong with the moon”. There is a logical reason for this… As a dream occurs while unconscious and typically not during the main part of the day (other than during an afternoon or early evening nap), a dream, based on circadian rhythms factors, will symbolize the nature of the conscious self identity as the sun, because the sun is associated with wakefulness and the moon associated more with sleeping and dreaming. As one is asleep and dreaming, “something wrong with the sun” occurs far more often simply because one is not awake. This is validated by fairly rare “something wrong with the moon” dreams occurring at a different time in the sleep cycle than the “something wrong with the sun” dreams. In fact, the specific dynamics (studied from when I was only a child) relate directly to the specific time within the sleep cycle, which validates it has little to do with “interpretation” and more about biology and not being conscious at a specific time. “Something wrong with the sun” in a dream is simply a metaphor for not being conscious and being aware of the real sun. How hard is that? Dreams, after all, are all about distortions, errors in memory, and the failure of thinking skills that naturally comes from being unconscious (other than literal prescience, which is not limited to the dream state anyway). An “end of the world” scenario is often just a result of the dream inevitably coming to an end when more sleep is subliminally desired, though all factors must be looked at closely, though not in wrongfully assuming that the “I am” of the dream state (personified subconscious, which has no viable memory or intelligence) is the same as the “I am” of the current conscious self identity. It is rare for the personified preconscious (in this case, the unknown male driver) to passively sustain the dream state since its purpose (via RAS) is to mediate waking. However, my dream self had already worked out it was not the end of the world, though I did not attain viable lucidity prior to waking.
Night of November 23, 2017. Thursday. I am near full lucidity and aware of my conscious self identity. I find myself in a parking lot at nighttime. A shopping cart is moving in front of me. Although I am implied to be pushing it, I seem incorporeal. A white moth seems to fly from the front of the shopping cart. It rises in the air about three feet in front of the shopping cart before I awake with a lighter hypnopompic kick. This dream is a typical though interesting example of the type in which the symbolism and its inherent meaning is solely premonitory of the hypnopompic kick during the waking transition, and as such, is unrelated to waking life or so-called “interpretation”. Self-contained biologically premonitory dreams of this common type often utilize a flight symbol as here. This is because of the nature of inner ear dynamics and the ascending reticular activating system. (When one is unconscious, one does not usually viably perceive one’s real physical body, which often creates a sense of floating, falling, or associations with flight.) The parking lot represents the transitional state between dreaming and waking and is usually unrelated to conscious self factors. The white moth, inherently a natural biological symbol rather than an “interpretable” feature, relates to the circadian rhythms of the sleep cycle in three different ways. One, its whiteness is associated with the moon and sleeping at night (especially as it is airborne as an analogy to the moon being in the sky). Two, its nocturnal nature (most moths, but not all, are nocturnal) is also relevant to sleeping at night and being in the dream state during a specific time in the sleep cycle. Three, the flight symbol aspect has already been explained in the third paragraph above. This type of dream occurs at least once during every normal sleeping period (and has for over fifty years), though more often involves walking through a city at night and tripping over the curb and “falling”, also directly biologically premonitory of the hypnopompic kick or waking start, as well as spontaneous muscle tension and release, and unrelated to real life. As fully explained in numerous past entries, the hypnopompic waking mechanism (waking start) and its biologically premonitory dream-related events leading up to it by way of the waking transition (and the ascending reticular activating system) are more vivid and intense when I have done a lot more walking prior to sleep, which proves that this dream’s symbolism is based on biology and anticipation of waking, not some sort of nebulous occult “symbolism” as found in so-called dream dictionaries or other nonsensical publications. The shopping cart’s appearance is a literal remnant (though its perceived movement symbolizes the real-time waking shift during unconsciousness), not an “interpretable” feature, similar to a bed as a literal dream state indicator (as is being undressed in public as one does not typically wear clothes to bed), as I had been pushing a shopping cart around for about two hours prior to going to bed. In fact, walking a lot while pushing the shopping cart is why this dream’s symbolism is as it is concerning the specific nature of the hypnopompic waking start and the spontaneous release of muscle tension in unconsciousness. This dream lacks the personified preconscious common to other dream types. As the hypnopompic waking start is the waking mechanism (and as a result has more energies linked to the physical body), a personified preconscious is not needed to initiate waking (for example, from such as imaginary conflict, perceived “intrusion”, or being chased by the preconscious waking function). Also, when lucid, the dream self obviously takes on more threads of the conscious self identity, thus is already closer to viable consciousness. This dream renders and utilizes “exit flight waking symbolism” in incidental contrast to “return flight waking symbolism” (both very common types of waking symbolism) as in dreams such as “Kite or Bird? Self-Breaking Window?” from November 9, 2016 (though there are thousands more in my personal database). There seems to be no difference other than the factors of circadian rhythms dynamics, that is, the white moth flying away from me symbolizes associations with nighttime becoming more dominant in my semi-conscious state and the dream self to continue to sleep and experience additional dreams, while in the other dream, the white bird flying towards me is more about the cessation of the dream state (and its coalescence “back” into the unconscious) towards morning, especially regarding the window-breaking symbolism (the increase of neural energies eliminating the illusion of the dream state), the bird related to the “return” of my conscious self identity in that case (and despite the fact that some birds hunt at night, a bird of that appearance is more associated with daytime). Such symbolism has been inherent to my dreaming history since early childhood in the same context but usually with unique scenarios and elements. I am fully familiar with its meaning and virtually infinite variations and have zero interest in the popular fallacy of “interpretation”.
Morning of November 23, 2017. Thursday. I am living with my wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we are now at our present address. However, many threads of my conscious self identity become reduced over time until the waking transition. I leave our house, apparently to get something from a store, but end up walking south which soon ambiguously becomes north as my association is mixed with Wisconsin (where I have not lived since February 1994). It seems to be nighttime. Over time, I am not sure where I am going but I continue to walk along the side of the road. I notice snow on the side of the road. My dream self does not consider how this area looks nothing like the area we live in real life. The fact that I do not know at all what is ahead does not bother me. I remain as far from the middle of the road as possible as a few cars pass now and then. I consider that I am walking in an area where pedestrians are not allowed, though there is no sign indicating such. Soon, the snow banks on each side of the road are higher. Eventually, I see an older couple in a station wagon. They are going in the opposite direction I am, down the side of the mountain, which is not that steep in this section. The unknown older lady asks me if the roads are clear for cars in the direction I had been walking from. I tell her that the roads are okay to drive through, as I had walked a considerable distance. Following a curve in the road, which is now seemingly one lane and easterly, I eventually end up walking through a square tunnel. A thin layer of ice covers the walls. One car goes by me during this time, going in the opposite direction. By following the road, I somehow end up inside a business building. I stealthily walk through, noticing three people talking in one office. I view this through an indoor window. There are other offices on each side of a hallway. I am puzzled as to how to get back to the road, as I had just been on it prior to illogically finding myself here. I enter a large room which seems like a public restaurant with round wooden tables sparsely arranged. An unknown male approaches me with a large flat piece of cardboard shaped like a person, painted over to represent a chubby male in informal clothes, and with eye holes to look through the face. The face is not that realistic and has a mustache. The piece has red vinyl straps connected (possibly by tacks) around the two-dimensional upper arms to hold it over my shoulders and upper arms, though my arms can still move freely. I am to wear it over the front of my body, though its legs are too long by at least a foot and bend out in front of me when I wear it, horizontally dragging and remaining against the floor. The other male is puzzled, though I do not tell him that I am not involved in whatever is going on. Instead, I say, “I am the stand-in”, and he seems to understand. I am to dance with another male who is not in such an odd cardboard cutout “costume”. He is unknown and sitting at a table with a few other people, mostly female. He is wearing a cowboy outfit with a fancy hat. Curiously, he also has some sort of red straps attached to his shoulders for no discernible reason. I start dancing on my own and my moves and balance feel perfect. The other people are seemingly amazed by how well I am moving (especially considering the odd cardboard “costume” covering the front of my body). I dance and feel a sense of well-being for several minutes. It seems I will be filmed as part of test footage until the real actors or performers show up. However, I eventually do not feel like being a part of this scenario anymore, mainly due to not being confident about either waltz moves (where I visualize hands shoulder to shoulder and the other arms out horizontally with hands clasped, towards the direction of movement) or dancing with a male (who reminds me vaguely of Burt Reynolds at about sixty), and deliberately leave the dream state with very clear intent even though I had not been lucid at any point, yet with the knowledge I had deliberately created much of my dream from the beginning. This has happened often throughout my life. It is a type of non-lucid dream control. Factors like non-lucid dream control (creating or influencing the dream without realizing it is a dream, typically not even remembering what a dream is) and literal prescience (with too much detail to be coincidence, including finding and marrying my beautiful literal dream girl) cannot be explained at all by what the majority seem to believe and experience. What part of the mind or extent of threads of conscious self identity and ephemeral synthesized fictional dream self viewpoints or combinations thereof account for this? How does one wake themselves so easily and intentionally from a dream without actively knowing it is a dream up to that very point? (This is not the same as knowing it is a dream and deliberately waking.) These concepts of course, are only part of the great puzzle of my life.
Updated 06-09-2018 at 05:36 AM by 1390
Morning of November 19, 2017. Sunday. I am wading through a shallow stream along its course (seemingly north by way of liminal perception of my real physical body in bed). I eventually notice two unknown people, a male and a female, on the bank to my right. The water is only up to my knees. The experience is vivid and peaceful. There is the idea that the unknown male is going to make a dam. At least he suggests building one, though I am the one to make it. He says that he will use about ten to fifteen trees to make the dam but the female is seemingly annoyed by this. The concern is related to a loss of trees in the dense forest on either side of the stream. I consider her concern, but there does seem to be plenty of trees around. I create the dam by mentally tapping each tree (without viable lucidity, only by way of typical liminal dream control where I do not know I am dreaming but still control the dynamics of the dream state), which for a time, only seems about as big as a pencil as it falls across the stream. After this, I notice the water lowering to where it is only about as high as my toes, though this is seen on both sides of the log dam, which puzzles me. How could water lower on both sides of a dam? I mentally step over the dam and continue to follow the stream’s course to a small pond. “This is a shallow reservoir,” says the male. I notice a very large footprint that is about the length of a car. It is facing back towards the stream. This singular footprint is what had apparently caused the pond to form (which of course is unlikely, though my dream self does not rationalize). I first consider that it is a footprint of a tyrannosaurus. Looking more closely, I report to the others that it was made by a giant duck. There is no sense of danger as I perceive most of the imagery in my dream as beautiful. Return flight waking symbolism (in this case, the presumed giant footprint of a duck combined with the water lowering waking autosymbolism) has been a main component of my dreams since early childhood. Because of my slightly restless sleep, there was one other dream featuring a dam on this day, but with different dynamics and a more dominant preconscious.
Updated 05-26-2018 at 05:11 PM by 1390
Morning of November 19, 2017. Sunday. There is a dream scenario related to John-Boy Walton, though it is too modern to relate directly to “The Waltons” in a logical sense. It has something to do with him having a book on bondage and other adult content. In an unrelated offset sequence, I have to get a bee out of my left ear. I tilt my head to the left while in bed and even tap the right side of my head and shake my head a little (even though, of course, the dream self does not have a physical head). Over time, the bee eventually comes out and I wake as soon as it does. It does not bother me that much as I know the process of getting it out is working. The first part of my dream likely relates to our oldest son (although John-Boy has appeared in a number of my dreams since I first saw “The Homecoming”). The “adult content” and “bondage” is likely more about him now being an adult and working as there were no clearer graphic adult implications. The rest of my dream is typical waking autosymbolism though unique as always and more defined than usual. There is the usual flight symbol that represents the return to wakefulness after being unconscious (vestibular system correlation). A buzzing insect typically relates to increasing neural energy upon becoming more aware of the return to consciousness. This all relates more specifically to inner ear dynamics (and that which causes partial unconsciousness or dizziness in some cases, though I do not have that problem) and RAS (Reticular Activating System). Another dream, “Ear or Wing?”, from July 5, 2016, had the same meaning (as do the majority of my dreams since childhood), though in that dream, a sketchy image of a left ear becomes more like the sketchy image of a bird’s wing.
Updated 04-29-2018 at 12:23 PM by 1390
Morning November 19, 2017. Sunday. In the first part of my dream, I walk out into a beautiful scene of sunlight and family in an area near a lake and forest. There is a focus on love and well-being. Over time, a situation comes into focus, though it is based on a fictional location of our home. As usual, my non-lucid dream self aka personified subconscious is completely clueless as to where I really live. Instead, my dream’s home is a cottage in a field that does not resemble our present home at all. The field is bordered by a forest beyond the backyard. I become annoyed at learning of a project that relates to a dam being built, which I feel will be too close to our home. It looks like they already started. In one scene, I find myself talking to someone in a park ranger outfit. He is this dream’s personified preconscious, Leo Wyatt (Brian Krause) as he appeared on “Charmed” (which I have not seen for years). He is sitting across the table from me in my fictional house. He tells me that the people building the dam are doing it illegally and are Greenpeace activists. He seems cheerful and jokes about their inability to do things correctly and thereby, they do more harm than good. He seems to be giving me permission to act in whatever way I choose to stop their activities from interfering with the state of my house. I go outside and cuss at an unfamiliar male and tip part of the supposed dam over onto the ground. It is not really a dam yet, just an object shaped like a rectangular prism, slightly reminiscent of a washing machine or oven (though of too ambiguous an appearance to discern as either). I notice several unfamiliar people in the area, both male and female, all in their twenties. One unknown male is carrying several faux wooden rifles that have only the basic shape of a rifle. I am wondering what the point is of having such an object as it neither looks like a real weapon or could be used as one, even though it seems it will be their way of “fighting”. Eventually, it looks like the flowing of the water or the dam structure will not reach where our home is and I wake. Dreams have clear core meanings relating to the nature of being unconscious and achieving consciousness, though based on the level of unconsciousness and the particular time within the sleeping period. This dream is virtually the opposite in implication (if one were to pretend to “interpret” it rather than grasping its actual meaning) as another dream of this same sleeping period. The flow of water relates directly to the dynamics of sleep (based biologically on the glymphatic system) and the particular timing of the sleep cycle and how relaxed one is, including how relaxed their physical body is while sleeping - evidenced by the fact that most recorded sleeping aids utilize the sounds of water, from oceans to rivers to waterfalls. A dam relates to slightly restless sleep, but it is mainly about water lowering waking symbolism (extremely common, at least once per sleeping period for me for over fifty years). So why did I cheerfully create a dam in “A Shallow Stream’s Dam”, also of today’s date, while “knocking over” another dam in this dream? In both dreams, the preconscious was atypically cheerful, though in that dream, there was an attempt at reinduction (that is, to sustain and deepen my dream state), though my act of creating the dam curiously caused the water to lower on both sides of it (rather than increase the essence of water on one side, to deepen my sleep) and eventually led me into the link to return flight waking symbolism (the giant duck’s footprint that had created a pond linked to the stream). In this dream, the water lowering waking symbolism is of the same implication, yet occurs by preventing the dam being completed near my (fictional) house and there is no discernible stream to begin with, just pieces of the dam lying about in the clearing. Although this might be considered an aggressive act, my subliminal realization of this waking symbolism is what caused the rifles held by the other dream character to not be “real”, as a “real” rifle would be a more dominant rendering of RAS (reticular activating system, the biological function that mediates sleeping and waking and level of awareness), but because I had already subliminally stopped reinduction in this dream (that is, not lengthened my dream or deepened or sustained my level of unconsciousness), no “real” weapon was needed to truncate or alter the dream state as a wake-up alert. In simple summary the other dream reveals, “I would like to sleep longer” while this later dream (in the same sleeping period) reveals, “I do not need to sleep any longer and am ready to get up for the day”. The fake wooden rifles also represent the softer awakening, that is, without a hypnopompic kick or other spontaneous muscular waking trigger.
Morning of November 6, 2017. Monday. In my dream, I am seemingly implied to be in our present home, though it is very different. For a time, our youngest son is watching television and our youngest daughter is also present. (In my dream, our television seems to be in the center of a much larger version of our kitchen and facing north. In actuality, it is in our lounge room and faces south.) At one point, there are distortions in the television screen. There is too much red dominating the overall image. I read the instruction manual and there is information about adjusting colors. It specifically mentions that the small elongated knob for adjusting red is to the right of the knob for adjustment of the extent of black and that the knob for red must be turned to the left to decrease the color and prevent it from being too bright or bleeding into other images. There are a number of small plastic knobs on the back of the television. After a time, I notice that it appears to have worked. The picture looks a bit more balanced. However, I eventually notice that features that are supposed to be red (including some sort of oval timer superimposed at the top left of the screen) are now a pale purple and I consider adjusting it again. Our youngest son watches a show about video games and their characters. I notice that the television is on its side so that now the image is vertically rectangular, yet fits the scenes that show people standing, as their feet are correctly downward. This seems strange to me. Eventually however, the television is back in its previous position where it is viewed as normal widescreen. Still, I had placed it on the floor yet consider it is not really watchable while in that position. During this time, I had not adjusted other knobs. I adjust the knob for red again, slowly turning it a short distance back to the right, as well as turning a few knobs for other colors. Soon, something happens and the picture becomes smaller and there are now only random horizontal white lines on the screen. This occurs after a sort of popping noise. Our youngest daughter puts her feet against the screen. I consider that I must have destroyed the television by changing the colors too much. I know that it will be very expensive to replace. I go to tell Zsuzsanna about the ruined television. She is sitting back on our bed. At first, I think she had injured her forehead somehow. I eventually see that she has a black sleeping eye mask partly on though the eye patches are doubled up on her forehead, above the area between her eyes. My dream eventually fades from this point. There are a few subliminal dream state indicators here. One is how the television is on its side at one point as relating to how the physical body is different in sleep in lying down - as well as the eyes seeing the environment as “turned sideways” when lying on one’s side. The main indicator is my subliminal knowledge of red being an end marker for the dream state. Red typically only dominates a dream when I am closer to waking after sleeping a bit too long and as such, is analogous to a “red alert” (a more dominating RAS factor). Although I am not lucid, I still maintain this realization subliminally, and deliberately lower the red value in the television’s image. I do this by turning the knob to the left with the knob for black on the left side of that one, black symbolizing being unconscious, so a part of my unconsciousness is aware of this, that is, deliberately trying to go back into unconsciousness to sustain my dream, even though I am not otherwise viably lucid. This aspect of black as symbolizing unconsciousness is carried over as a dream state indicator in seeing Zsuzsanna in bed though awake, yet having a black sleeping eye mask doubled up over her “third eye”. (The third eye refers to the gate that leads to inner realms, yet I still do not realize I am dreaming at this point. There have been thousands of dreams with very precise dream state indicators as in this dream, where I still did not become viably lucid, though many others where I have.)
Morning of November 6, 2017. Monday. I am riding on a bus in an unknown area, possibly implied to be at night as I am not aware of much light. There are only a few other people on the bus, all unfamiliar. The bus driver is an unfamiliar female of about thirty. She is on the right side and the door is on the left, so it can be assumed to be associated with Australia. However, in my dream, I am not fully focused on my country of location, though mixed features and composites of buildings from two or more countries are common in my dreams. I perceive myself as being about half of my real age and in my twenties. An unknown female is ready to get off the bus at the next stop, which is apparently also my stop. Curiously, the bus driver also checks out library books as people get off, which my dream self does not consider odd at all, though I do not recall any backstory as to where I had actually gotten the books. I do not notice any area on the bus that has books stored. As I am getting my books checked out from the bus driver, I realize that I am also holding a number of my socks, perhaps about eight pairs, but I have accidentally dropped three or four onto the floor as well as into a laundry bag (that is full of other people’s socks) near the bus driver’s seat, on her left (and in front of me). I am somewhat annoyed upon doing this, as I do not want to lose my socks. I wake around this point. As I have studied my dreams all my life and resolved most of them and their basic meanings and components (including literal prescience when it comes to pass, which is very common for me), this one, despite its unusual nature, is very easy to grasp. It is simply a combination of two typical dream state end markers mashed together with a dream state indicator into one situation. Getting off a bus symbolizes leaving the dream state. A checkout area (as otherwise in a store, library, hotel, or other location) also symbolizes leaving the dream state. Being aware of socks in this case is a dream state indicator as I do not wear socks in my sleep and thus perceive myself as carrying them in the waking transition. Books are a symbol of the emergent consciousness (a link to my conscious self identity of which is not extant in many non-lucid dreams) as critical thinking skills are not extant in non-lucid dreams. Basically, with this dream, my mind simply mixed the two transitional dream state end markers with a dream state indicator (subliminal thread of awareness that I had become unconscious but not with viable lucidity). The core meaning, with a typical pattern of dream state synthesis (that is, mixing unrelated linear events, in this case as leaving a bus mixed with leaving a library and additionally linked to the subliminal realization of needing to get dressed after waking) should be obvious to a person of reasonable intelligence. One reason why I dream in a continuous cycle as such and virtually infinite mixes of specific markers for induction, dreaming itself, non-lucid dream state indicators, and otherwise clearly defined waking transitions, is due to having sincerely studied and resolved so many of my dreams since early childhood and as a result, have become very familiar with them and their nature as well as augmented clarity of mind with virtually no nightmares other than when health-related (biologically premonitory). There is nothing here (presently) that relates to real life (at least not yet, and I have not ridden a bus in real life in years - though it may loosely relate to the memory of carrying textbooks on a school bus). For those who do not already know, the bus driver here is the preconscious, though in this case there is no conflict as my dream self had already subliminally “agreed” to wake. (The biological purpose of the preconscious, a function of the reticular activating system or RAS, is to establish an association with the need to wake and attend to real physical needs or to alert the unconscious self to a real environmental noise or unknown event.)
Morning of November 4, 2017. Saturday. Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 3 Over time, I become aware of a very unlikely situation (which has no discernible backstory), although my dream self does not consider it unusual. I am resting outside in an unknown location on the side of a hill that is about the height of a one-storey house (when not elevated on stumps or with a higher roof as our house has). It also seems to be part of a house on one level. I have a blanket over me. I am aware of a number of unknown people also sleeping on the hill or “building” and within the sparse framework. It seems to be nighttime. It begins to rain lightly and this hill or odd pyramidal building (note that the roof of our house in real life is pyramidal) seems to take on unusual properties as if it was made out of miscellaneous junk and tarpaulins as well as at least fifty percent dirt. I feel a bit uneasy, but not uncomfortable. It begins to collapse due to stormy weather, the metal part of the tarpaulins noisily clattering on other parts of the framework, which seems somewhat oppressive after a time, but I do not respond with emotion or fear. I cover myself fully with my blanket, including my head. The hill or building is eventually flattened though no one is hurt. No one talks directly to me. I look up at the sky and notice very unusual clouds passing overhead. They have very unusual shapes and atypical colors, some vaguely similar to jigsaw puzzle pieces. I enjoy seeing them but I do not know if it is suitable to sleep here now. I get up and walk through a doorway to find a better place to sleep indoors. I am vaguely aware that the room is modeled after the Loomis Street house’s living room, though it is more like a cave. To my left, in an armchair recliner, is a large Minotaur. In front of me is a couch with the back oriented to the right of my viewpoint. The furniture layout is the same as it was in the Loomis Street house living room. There are other features that I do not directly focus on. I consider sleeping on the couch. “You’re not sleeping there,” says the Minotaur somewhat frustratingly, as he notices me looking at the couch, though indicating no anger or threatening posture. It almost seems as if he is afraid of me or at least does not want anyone else intruding on his relaxing environment. Eventually, I decide to turn around and find myself in my own bed in reality upon waking up. Friday, 30 March 2018: What I presently understand about this dream, based on the following real-life event: A few days after this dream, on November 7, a totally unexpected devastating storm (with very atypical clouds prior to it - unusual shapes and of odd colors), tore the roof from our house and carried it down the street, where it landed in front of another house. My family and I had to endure over a month of large tarpaulins slamming against what was left of the front part of our roof. (The noise was almost ear-splitting and my family had to leave the house at times, though there were days when it was not as noisy.) This devastating storm was so unexpected, there were still a few people working on the street near our house only minutes before. Members of my family had been out to see a movie, and had taken the bus. If the timing had been different by only one minute (when they had come in the house), there would have been more serious consequences. What is usually RAS personification (for preconscious RAS mediation or modulation) is the Minotaur in this case, and an association with my brother-in-law Bob. It seems pertinent however, that bulls were only otherwise a recurring RAS modulation factor (bulls crashing through the wall for example, as a WAF - waking alert factor) in very early childhood, which should have told me there was something in this dream’s autosymbolism that was very atypical and of which was a warning. The fact remains however, even if I had fully known of this event beforehand, there was little that could have been done. Additionally, another literal factor that came to pass was members of my family sleeping under a destroyed roof covered by large tarpaulins. Zsuzsanna and I slept on the floor in the front room for a time, until the destroyed beds and roof were replaced. This is part 3 of what will be at least 500 parts, as prescience is a major factor of my dreaming history other than autosymbolism and auto-scripting. These main factors of dreams are usually completely ignored by most of modern society.
Updated 03-30-2018 at 03:27 PM by 1390
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