non-lucid

Morning of January 3, 2019. Thursday.

Dream #: 19,008-02. Reading time (optimized) 3 min.



My dream self maintains a thread of my conscious self identity in that I remember Zsuzsanna, though no other current factor (such as an awareness I live in Australia) is extant. We are in the King Street mansion (though Zsuzsanna has never been to America). I introduce her to Leonard. They briefly hug. Leonard seems cheerful and glad to see me

The staircase does not appear, so my dream does not vivify as a result. Vestibular system correlation still occurs, as I end up happily flying without effort with Zsuzsanna to a fictitious arcade northeast of the King Street house. [inherited non-linear vestibular system correlation]

In the arcade, which does not have much lighting, the setting eventually vivifies, though Zsuzsanna is no longer present. (Zsuzsanna often serves as an induction simulacrum in one dream and an emerging consciousness simulacrum in another.) I stand in a big electronic game that seemingly combines several other games. It is called “Zombie Wars.” It is like a very sparse and oversized pinball playing field. Facing away to my left and perpendicular to the table I am at, though attached to it, is a pinball machine of regular size. I can control its flippers from where I am even though I cannot see most of its playing field. The game relates to the player being on a quest, but the backstory is unclear. There is an icon displaying a hypodermic needle that holds green fluid. (I vaguely sense that it would result in going deeper into sleep to correctly play the game, but I do not activate it.)

There are also sections to my right. I mostly play around with the controls without any goal in mind. The area is about four times the size of a drafting table, not including the attached pinball machine.

A small device on the upper right has a vertical metal rod that I can guide over an area that represents a map. There is a similar small machine to its right. I continue to play around with the controls. The rod moves around randomly, making a maze-like pattern.

What I mostly enjoy doing for several minutes is making the whole table roll about and shake. [inherited linear vestibular system correlation] The feeling of movement is vivid and pleasing, like being on a ride that is rolling about in all directions. The entire oversized game moves up to two feet in each direction, though it is all random. (No viable gameplay is occurring.) There is presently one other person in the arcade, an unknown male off to my left on the other side of the big room. He is playing a pinball game.

The unknown male owner walks in from behind me, off to my left. I suspect that he is coming to tell us that the arcade is closing, though this turns out to not be the case, as more people come in. (This is a subliminal attempt at left-side-oriented dream state reinduction based on my usual subception of being in the dream state, but which instead triggers RAS.)

The preconscious, as an unfamiliar young blond man of about seventeen, is activated and becomes his typical intrusive self to initiate the waking process. I am still playing around with the controls of the big game. The pinball game that was attached to the left is now more like a video game. It involves small short rockets going down into moon craters as well as shooting lasers at small slowly moving hovering rocks. I score points despite the preconscious chanting gibberish at me in a seemingly sarcastic tone. (Logically, I would not be able to see the screen, as it is facing away from me, but I have two simultaneous viewpoints at this time.)

In my annoyance, I decide to leave, and as a result, there is a subliminal thread of [literal bed space emergence] as I get my hooded sweater. I notice several pairs of my blue jeans strewn about in the room, a subliminal awareness that I do not wear clothes as I sleep. When I go to pick up a pair of my jeans to put on, thinking I will probably leave my other clothes in the arcade, and contemplate flying back to King Street, the waking process initiates as a result.

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Two distinct forms of (inherited) vestibular system correlation being in the same dream is not very common because of the consciousness initiation factor, but this was a long dream with a few different levels of illusory awareness.

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Morning of December 31, 2018. Monday.

Dream #: 19,005-02. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



There are threads of my conscious self identity present in my otherwise subliminal state, but only those which include a partial recall of my usage of the Internet for my online dream journal. [dream-related theme in a dream]

The location is undefined and unknown (to my conscious self), though implied to be where I am currently living. The website that includes my dream journal is unlike any in waking life. There are three main panels, two vertical ones at the top and a horizontal one across the bottom. Its color scheme is mostly cyan and blue.

I discover at least three comments on my dream journal entries of which are about a year old. Dream journal entries appear in the right panel and comments are in the left. The bottom panel is for website navigation. Each comment is about three short paragraphs in length and from an unknown person. Each comment is asinine and stemming from the usual misconceptions about dreams that plague people and this society as a whole. [reading to increase dream state awareness]

One comment relates to natural melatonin mediation (as water induction and reinduction), which is also a factor of ultradian rhythm dynamics. However, the gist of the comment is asinine and ill-conceived. The other comments are relevant to so-called lucid dreaming but are erroneous in their assumptions. I will probably not reply to the comments. I am considering deletion without reading it all as all three commentators sound oblivious to the content of my journal. (The monothematic delusion and motivated reasoning of people who pretend to understand the “meaning” of dreams have been of zero interest to me since childhood because of my lifelong knowledge of the legitimate causes of induction, dreaming, and waking processes.)

In my focus on the fictitious website, my dream changes into the recurring “paper technology” mode. The site now consists of sheets of A4 paper. I turn them as loose pages, being slightly puzzled as to what order they will preserve.

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The recurring distortion of “paper technology” has begun to interest me more over the years even though it is solely a factor of the dream state (as much dream content is). There are probable explanations for this anomaly, though there is also a certain level of ambiguity depending on my dream self mode and how much of my conscious self identity is extant.

Electricity and technology are autosymbolism for the mind in the subception of REM sleep, analogous to neuronal energy and thinking processes (which are otherwise absent in the subliminal dream self mode). I developed reading in dreams in childhood to deliberately maintain focus on the dream state (which I learned from my mother and her acknowledgment of how text in dreams often changes or transforms into random letters).

As with other induction, dreaming, and waking processes, it is not always preconsciously or interconsciously personified (other than in the last dream of a sleep cycle). “Paper technology” is probably only a factor of absence of wakefulness as with many dream state factors.

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Morning of December 30, 2018. Sunday.

Dream #: 19,004-02. Reading time: 46 sec.



In the subliminal mode, I find myself on a bus in an unknown city. (It may be either La Crosse in America or Brisbane in Australia as I do not focus on where the driver’s side is.) It seems to be early afternoon.

The bus eventually ends up going in the opposite direction with no concern on my part, as it may be a factor of the route it is taking. I continue to focus on how I am going to post a dream about my bus trip to the location where I am going to post it. In the back of my mind, I think about the main factor being “linear vestibular system correlation.” I wake before the bus stops anywhere.

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This dream is not unusual for me. There have been many times throughout my life since childhood when I was aware of the dreaming processes and their autosymbolic meaning, as well as maintaining willful but subliminal dream control, without being aware I am dreaming. This fact seems to make me different from the majority of people who seem to have no understanding that dreams are autosymbolically concurrent with the dreaming processes themselves.

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Morning of December 29, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 19,003-02. Reading time: 2 min 20 sec.



I enter an atypical dream scenario in a subliminal mode, but with more of a cohesive storyline than usual. It is a science-fiction theme. It is primarily a result of parallel autosymbolism. It consolidates two autosymbolic dynamics of the emerging consciousness, electricity and flying insects, both indicative of consciousness reinitiation and the neuronal energy thereof as well as blue field entoptic phenomenon by way of (the memory of) supraliminal integration.

There are scenes relating to the development of robotic flying insects. I do not perceive them as a threat. I watch them fly in the blue sky. They move in spirals and circular patterns, attempting to create a portal.

Others have conversations about the development of these tiny machines, with the main factor relating to generating enough energy to create a portal to enter another world. The scientists involved seem to think that it will never happen.

Enough of an emerging consciousness thread becomes present to vivify my awareness and place me in a warehouse as a result (a kind of concurrent “waiting room” for the conscious self in REM sleep), which is typically the last setting when it occurs in a long dream, though in this case, an offset dream results, distorting the original theme somewhat.

While in the warehouse, my imaginary physicality is also more pronounced along with my attention. My subception correlates with the factor of transitional vestibular system correlation (one of the “crucial three” that occurs at least once in a dream of each sleep cycle). In this case, it seemingly stems from “Superman” from 1978; the scene where Superman flies upwards and crashes through the ceiling, though my dream self has no viable memory of such an association while in the dream state.

I am still in subliminal mode, yet I begin to consider ceiling (upward directed) RAS mediation (as a result of sleeping more on my back than on my left side in this case). (Dream control and inherent awareness of autosymbolic processes are unrelated to lucidity or “becoming lucid,” contrary to popular misconception and misinformation.) As a result, my dream responds by creating a mason jar full of the robotic insects. Although an unknown companion is holding it, I subliminally create the next scene. (The transitional vestibular system simulacrum remains passive in this event.)

The jar rises into the air. It crashes into the ceiling and somehow creates a hole that the robotic insects fly up through, and into the sky. Glass shards fall downward, but they do not pose a threat. At this point, my dream jumps into a different form.

The tiny robots are now able to create a portal into another world (which is merely my dream self becoming more aware of my real environment in this case). From here, I passively watch a few events.

I am now on another planet with “aliens” that seem like ordinary human beings. The “insects” are now (or now controlling) robots that are about half the size of a person and somewhat like a two-tiered pair of cubes incapable of flight. One is watching an unfamiliar man that seems like a Nazi from World War II, and it seems puzzled. These “aliens” plan on using the robots sent to them to conquer other worlds. I try to make the “alien” sound “alien,” but it sounds like an ordinary language from Earth, though the words sound like gibberish to me, as language skills in dreams are not viable enough to create something of this nature. I wake at this point.

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Morning of December 27, 2018. Thursday.

Dream #: 19,001-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min. Readability score (optimized): 70.



At night, I am hovering over an unknown region of the ocean, walking on water at times. A miniaturized dam and its spillway are between two rocky outcrops. In proportion with my erroneous size perception, it only seems about six feet in length and about a foot in width. Despite the presence of the ocean, there is a vague awareness of indoor-outdoor ambiguity. An unknown male is with me.

A sea god, possibly Thaumas, flies down to land atop the dam in a squatting position, on the right of the middle on our side. He appears as an informally dressed slim blond man with a mustache. He pulls a diagonal lever with his teeth, resulting in the water on the opposite side of the dam lowering and vanishing, leaving an expansive floor at the level the ocean’s surface had been. This floor has a break perpendicular to the middle of the dam, implying two sliding doors of enormous size, now closed.

His act annoys me. I affirm the return of the water, saying that no one else will ever be able to change it. The ocean water flows back to where it had been, presumably as deep as previously.

I confidently affirm a sea serpent will rise from the ocean depths to swallow this intrusive male. A Chinese sea dragon, with a head the size of a bus, emerges.

Although rising close to the other male and me, it is not a threat to us. It swallows the sea god and swims away.

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Morning of December 19, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,993-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 61.



My imaginary dream self, in subliminal mode, minus waking life identity without a viable link to my unconscious mind, is placed on the second floor of a new version of the King Street mansion in La Crosse, the city where I have not been since February 1994. The fictitious situation implies that I am living in the northeast room, the room with the turret windows.

I find an Australian 50-dollar bill in my wallet. Seeing it does not activate realization of my conscious self identity or my real-life status of living in Australia. Instead, I cheerfully think of giving it to my landlady (without realizing that it is not American money) as a partial payment for overdue rent. There is a thought that I already have enough food, so can pay her. These thoughts are ambiguous, and they almost activate my conscious self identity but are not viable.

(This fictitious situation is a result of the typical subliminal offset of vestibular system correlation, one of my “crucial three” dream state processes occurring every sleep cycle, to reinduce my conscious self identity and physicality. A wallet is an emerging consciousness thread that links the fictitious dream self to waking life identity.)

Not of a liminal mode, I still subliminally create a vestibular system precursor to enhance my dream’s vividness. I begin to descend the stairs. The landing (midway between first floor and second floor) is missing. I see Von Helton (this dream’s vestibular system simulacrum), the Internet conspiracy theorist, in the area where the bottom stairs would have otherwise been to join the landing in the opposite direction from the top flight.

“Hello, Von!” I call out cheerfully. “How’ve you been?”

“Not good,” he replies, with no emotion, as I descend the stairs. I smoothly jump off the last step of the top stairs, to where the landing would have otherwise been, safely falling to the first floor, and I enter a higher level of dream state awareness, as I had subliminally anticipated.

“Have you seen Richard?” I ask him. (Richard was a recovering alcoholic who lived on King Street years ago. I last saw Richard long before I ever heard of Von Helton.) Von does not reply.

A preconscious simulacrum activates in a doorway at this point as an unknown dark-haired woman of about thirty. (The emerging consciousness threads are still subliminal at this point, despite the manifestation of the preconscious in a doorway.)

“Have you seen Mrs. W____?” I ask her, referring to my landlady. Even though the title and surname are correct, I feel very puzzled, as if I said something incorrect, but the woman leads me into the living room.

I walk into the empty setting as the preconscious simulacrum vivifies my dream with the doorway factor. I get the feeling that it is late morning. On my right is a doorway into a big empty room (that was not there in reality) as I walk through the living room. It seems the landlady is moving from the mansion and this may be her last day here. She is standing cheerfully on the other side of the living room. I hand her the 50-dollar bill, expecting she will write a receipt, though her desk is not present.

She is happy to see me. “That is a big room,” I say about the one I passed.

“Oh, but it fills up quickly,” she comments.

I am concerned about my living arrangements as well as what will become of my stored belongings in another part of the house, but it seems that I will still be living here, as her nephew (unknown character) will supposedly be running things and taking rent payments from whatever new tenants arrive. I get the impression, from imaginary photographs in my thoughts, that he was a German who fought in World War II even though I also perceive him as about 20 years old. He will be strict and expecting reasonable tenants, and my landlady says he will prefer rent in advance, but I get the impression she will have it paid for me for the entire upcoming year. It seems very kind and generous of her.

The simulacrum radiates more dynamics of the interconsciousness (telepathic) to the point where I become aware of Zsuzsanna’s love for me though not in a direct sense of identity. Her face is very close to mine, radiating universality and bliss as a precursor to waking coalescence. I still do not viably realize who I am until I wake.

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Morning of December 15, 2018. Saturday.

Dream #: 18,989-02. Reading time: 1 min 12 sec. Readability score: 61.



I am in an unknown outdoor location, though my waking life identity is absent. Even so, the subliminal dynamic of vestibular system correlation, the most common factor of my dreams, arises but is projected (rather than inherited) through reticular activating system mediation, incidentally taking the form of a vestibular system simulacrum, appearing as a formula one race car driver. He mostly resembles Daniel Ricciardo, but is closer to 40 than 30 and in my dream, has a teenage son who is helping him. The three of us are the only people present.

They have set up two ramps that are about ten feet apart. The race car is to travel down one, fly off the edge, and land on the other one, to then drive up it and continue on the track, though which soon leads into a warehouse. I watch the event. The setup vaguely reminds me of a roller coaster. The vehicle misses the other ramp, the end of which is about five feet up from the ground, and crashes to pieces near it. No one is injured, despite the force of the impact.

I become more present in my dream (that is, in interacting with it more) and talk to the driver. I mention how the second ramp could be lower, though the driver does not agree with me. He says something regarding feet and distance, though I perceive feet as relating to human anatomy.

Later, he is holding an unusual big object. It seems to be gray cushions held together by rods. It seems he may be using this structure as added support for the first ramp. This scene is the point at which the subliminal mediation of illusory vestibular dynamics transmutes into a partial awareness I am asleep and dreaming (cushions associated with pillows).

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Morning of December 10, 2018. Monday.

Dream #: 18,984-05. Reading time (optimized): 1 min. Readability score: 75.



I enter another of several vivid dreams of this date. In this event, I maintain most of my conscious self identity in association with my marriage and family. The setting is unknown. My mother is present. My dream self does not recall that she had died in October of 2002 or that she had never been to Australia or met Zsuzsanna or our children in real life.

She had bought two cakes in pans with ice cream covering them. I eat some of the darker cake. Zsuzsanna and our three youngest children are present.

I then go on to eat some of the other “cake” and see that it is now mostly white ice cream that seems to be partially melting. I also notice steam rising from it, and become puzzled. I scoop up and eat a lot of it. Something in the back of my mind makes me question this situation.

I pick up an interesting object from near a corner of the cake pan. It is a beautiful rooster salt shaker in a crowing stance. There was loose salt around it. (I am wondering if this is another dream with gamma-aminobutyric acid autosymbolism or if it represents sweating in the heat.)

I wake as I gaze at the rooster salt shaker and find it curious that a place that sells food would give one out for each purchase.

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Of course, a rooster is autosymbolism for the preconscious function and transition of waking up from sleep. How obvious can it get?

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Morning of December 10, 2018. Monday.

Dream #: 18,984-07. Reading time (optimized): 2 min.



Summary for casual readers only:

While on the Cubitis carport, I see two toy parachutists hanging from the northerly eaves, a blue one and a white one. I go around and take the white one down and throw it about when back on the carport. An unknown woman looks on from where the carport meets the driveway.

Readers with no interest in legitimate causes and effects of dreams need not read past this point.

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Preconscious precursor: My dream self attains subliminal awareness of being in REM sleep, though no current conscious self identity has yet emerged. A common liminal space nexus, the Cubitis carport (irrelevant to real life since 1978), is the setting. It represents being within the virtual space between my imaginary dream self and my conscious self identity. In subliminal, liminal, and concurrent dream self modes, I have deliberately used porches and carports since early childhood for this level of dream state and wakefulness processing.

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I am on the Cubitis house’s carport in late morning. The sky is blue, and I mostly focus on the northerly direction. Someone else is present who is a female of perhaps thirty, but I do not know her identity.

To the north, I see objects in the sky. (One might be an airplane, but this remains unknown when I focus on the toys in the next scene.) I eventually see a toy parachutist hanging from the eaves. I had first thought that it was in the air in the distance, beyond Harold’s house on the other side of the orange grove. I walk around outside of the carport. At this point, I see two toy parachutists hanging by strings from their miniature parachutes, one slightly higher than the other. One is blue and the other white. I somehow take down the white toy (which would not have been possible in reality as it would have been too high up).

I play with the toy parachutist on the carport for several minutes, noticing that it works very well, the parachute expanding and the soldier slowly floating down as I catch it each time. Its texture is simultaneously rubbery and silky. I find its perfection wondrous. Eventually, I begin to recall who I am. I remember my youngest son, though there is no other recall (such as where I live as I erroneously maintain the illusion of Cubitis until I wake). I consider that I will give my youngest son the toys. I think that someone, perhaps two unknown young boys, had lost them and probably will not return.

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Crucial notes: A common factor of the waking process and consciousness achievement is the preconscious simulacrum. Here, it is probably my wife Zsuzsanna, though remains dormant (unrecognized) until I wake. It does not domineer, as I am actively working with vestibular system correlation in subliminal anticipation of the falling start that terminates many dreams, though of which does not occur here as I modulate the process into a soft awakening, though with a projected transition rather than inherited.

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Morning of November 28, 2018. Wednesday.

Dream #: 18,972-04. Reading time (optimized): 1 min. Readability score: 56.



I am in an unknown residence which my dream self erroneously perceives as my current address as is often the case. I own a big computer printer that also serves as a modem. Much of my current conscious self’s identity is present. I am aware of Zsuzsanna’s presence.

I am looking at the Internet, but something happens that causes something to happen to the printer, though I do not perceive it as needing repair by the end of my dream. I may have bumped part of the top. There is a row of several cylindrical containers, horizontally oriented, that resemble oversized cylindrical fuses of about four inches long. They are full of blue liquid. Two of the rightmost ones fall out from where they are connected and spill over the circuitry. Most of the electronics and circuit boards at the bottom are visible. My printer has no cover.

Later, I see that an ice-like (or powder-like) residue is covering all of the circuitry. First, I think the printer was damaged by the spill, though I then consider it is part of a process to keep it from overheating.

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It is likely that the process relates to gamma-aminobutyric acid, the natural form, not medical. The fluid in the containers is also an association with melatonin. As electronic circuity is autosymbolism for the brain and concurrent brain activity, my dream at this point would indicate pulling back on the initiation of consciousness (in relevance to thinking or attempting to read) to sleep longer.

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Morning of December 7, 2018. Friday.

Dream #: 18,981-02. Reading time (optimized): 3 min. Readability score: 66.



I become vividly aware of being in my brother-in-law Bob’s car in the back seat, on the right side. (This subliminally stems from sleeping on the right side of our bed, though my conscious self’s identity is otherwise absent as I have not been in La Crosse since 1994. My dream self’s location in the back seat implies being in temporary isolation from my reticular activating system’s processing.) It is nighttime. The parked car is in the middle of the east side of Wood Street. (This is scene is erroneous, as Bob would typically only park on Loomis Street near where he lived.)

An unknown male is backing up his car, which remains perpendicular, from the other side of the street, towards Bob’s car. Although I think his vehicle might hit hard, as he does not seem to notice Bob’s car, the back of it only bumps the right side near my door.

I start yelling at him and leave Bob’s car to go to the front of it. By now, a few other unknown people are present. At least one police officer (a preconscious simulacrum that does not activate) is nearby, but there is not much interaction (due to my level of dream state consciousness in the transition to the next scene). The man remains in his car. I point out to the others how the right front wheel of Bob’s car is now bent, the top at an outward angle. I go over to the left side and see that the left front tire has what resembles a big pile of white cream (or white “clay”) near it that appears as if it had been squeezed out from a short cylindrical protuberance on the tire. (Gamma-aminobutyric acid, or GABA, in its natural form, is rare autosymbolism, yet has appeared in several dreams recently.)

I walk back to Loomis Street, into the backyard of the house by way of the alley, and enter the house via the back door. As I walk around, I see that everyone is in bed. I want to tell them about the mishap with the car. The house is dark, and I complain that it is before eight o'clock in asking why everyone is already asleep. One bedroom replaces the porch, with the bed visible beyond the living room’s doorway and long ways to it, but my dream self does not recognize this error. At this point, I am more viably subliminally aware I am in the dream state (as validated by seeing people in bed and the RAS precursor of the previous scene not initiating), which triggers the next stage of the dreaming process.

Vestibular system correlation kicks in as usual at this level of dream state consciousness. I am in Southside La Crosse now, near a group of about seven unfamiliar teenagers, both males and females. I easily allow myself to rise in the air and hover for a time, but I also fly around for short distances. Most of the other people are surprised. I tell them that I cannot understand why people walk over a long distance (such as from one side of town to another) when flying is so much easier. The others take turns rising in the air for a short time.

From here, an unknown male happily flies with me, including through the service area of a restaurant (caused by subliminal hunger during sleep). I eventually arrive in the parking lot of a shopping mall. However, it also has a vague association with my old middle school in Arcadia.

The parking lot (autosymbolism for an inactive body while sleeping) usually comes at a closer emerging consciousness stage than does a porch (in which porch, warehouse, shed or garage, parking lot typically correlates with incremental bands of concurrent consciousness in the waking process). There are a few unknown men who are amazed at how I hover and fly around. They talk about gravity and how I am “defying the laws of gravity.” I tell them that flying is a natural activity and that you only have to allow yourself to rise in the air.

They continue to mention gravity as I walk to the other side of the parking lot, near the street, to prepare to fly again. I cheerfully yell back at them, “If gravity existed as you say it does, then the moon would be stuck to the Earth!” My affirmation stems from how the dream self and its imaginary physicality (moon) is not bound by the physical (Earth).

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Morning of December 4, 2018. Tuesday.

Dream #: 18,978-02. Reading time: 3 min 20 sec. Readability score: 62.



At the beginning of my non-lucid dream, I am with an unfamiliar woman (of perhaps twenty) in a fictitious room of the Barolin Street house that is implied to be between the main bedroom and the lounge room. There is no furniture in the room. Despite my lack of viable dream state awareness, I am subliminally aware that I am dreaming.

My dream self believes that we are awake but that I am ritually inducing the dream state. We are lying on the wooden floor. I am aware of Zsuzsanna being nearby, yet I also do not see the unfamiliar woman as an imposter or trespasser. (This is because she is supposed to be the usual Naiad and melatonin mediator, modeled after a young Zsuzsanna, but because I am not viably lucid, the situation is distorted and integrated with other dreaming processes.) I am teaching her how to enter the dream state by creating the illusion of water as autosymbolic of natural melatonin and as defining illusory physicality within sleep. I cause the floor to transform into shallow water (the typical beginning of dream state entry since early childhood), and we float around for a short time even though it only seems about four inches deep. There is an awareness that I am entering the dream state (even though I am already dreaming). I consider that if the water becomes very deep as we go farther into the dream state, sharks might eventually appear below us, but there is no continuity of perceived threat.

From here, I enter a more vivid dream segment. There are no thoughts about the unfamiliar woman, who has vanished, or of the previous exercise. Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children are present. There is no longer any association with dream entry or being in the dream state. There is a storm approaching from the south. I look out from the lounge room and see odd clouds, one of them shaped like a top. Despite the several big fluffy clouds being white, they supposedly are storm clouds. I try to create a tornado from the one that looks like a top. Soon, there is a loud crash, and something, perhaps a large tree branch (though I do not see it) comes through the roof above the hallway, leaving an irregular hole. Rain comes in. Zsuzsanna and I look at the damage. I deliberately stand under the rain coming through the ceiling. I feel cool and refreshed, and my dream becomes much more vivid. (I have used water to vivify and sustain my dreams since early childhood.)

In the next scene, I walk around observing water flowing down the walls from the edges of the ceiling. There is a plastic storage box on a high shelf that I feel concern about getting wet, as it may contain textbooks or my dream journals. However, it does not seem that the water is anywhere but on the walls. Through the windows, I look at the cluster of white clouds again and notice more that are shaped like tops, though I try to imagine more than there are.

Zsuzsanna and our two youngest children look outside and up from (fictitious) lounge room windows at the south end of the room. It seems to be nighttime now. Near our house are two tall palm trees (not a real-life feature). The palm trees start to move in the wind and soon bow down near the windows and, at first, “roar” at us. Loud human voices, somewhat electronic, come from atop them. I find it curious but not unusual.

Upon going outside, I see that Isaiah Washington (from “The 100”) is inside a space (as if I am viewing the imagery with x-ray vision) in the fetal position near the bottom of one of the palm trees. He is speaking into a microphone. He loudly and cheerfully states, “This is sector seven.” It seems that another male (though I do not see him) is inside the other palm tree. The loud voices are coming from loudspeakers atop the palm trees.

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The neurological function of the preconscious simulacrum (Isaiah Washington in this case) is to guide the dream self back into wakefulness (which is known as RAS or reticular activating system mediation or modulation depending on the mode of the dream self) - and enigmatic space typically results in an avatar with authority (fictitious or not) as in this case. The fetal position implies being “reborn” into waking life. The bowing palm trees are the association with a form of vestibular system correlation, the emerging awareness (vestibular precursor) of the return to viable physicality upon waking (as the dream self does not correctly discern the physical body until RAS and the vestibular system kicks in, which often results in flying or falling, bicycle riding, using stairs, and so on). It follows the usual autosymbolism-driven formats, in the same order, that my dreams have for over fifty years, though the processes are always unique and intriguing in their rendering.

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Morning of December 1, 2018. Saturday.

Dream # 18,975-02: Reading time: 3 min 48 sec. Readability score: 58.



My infra-self’s illusory location of being beyond the nexus of RAS (reticular activating system) separates me from my waking life identity. My infra-self (non-lucid dream self as personified subconscious) loses the viable connection with my unconscious mind in the non-lucid dream state, this personal truth (validated tens of thousands of times since early childhood) being the opposite of what most of modern society naively believes about non-lucid dreams. Only one subliminal thread of my conscious self remains without activating any other until I am in the nexus of the waking process.

I am in the King Street mansion, in the middle room of the east side of the second floor of the house, where I have not lived for over twenty years. I am wearing a dark blue hooded sweater with big front pockets. I am going to fly to Northside La Crosse, to Marilyn’s house. (Marilyn is an older half-sister on my mother’s side who died in 2014. My infra-self has no memory of her death.) The thought of physically taking to the air to fly has occurred in dreams all my life (even at age three), without the slightest pause of considering it as an impossible act, and of course, it is effortless. Flight and elevation symbols, both projected and inherited, have occurred at least once (typically more) in every sleep cycle for over fifty years. It is vestibular system correlation, the most common factor of the dream state, which I do not pretend has any association with waking life. It merely correlates with the nature of the absent physicality of the dream state.

I have a total of five Kinder Surprise eggs, all of which are still in the original packaging, though one of them has some of the foil coming off, with part of the chocolate exposed. I decide to eat that one and put its yellow toy container in my right pocket. I put the other unwrapped chocolate eggs in my pockets, three on the left, one on my right, and will give them all (including the toy) to my youngest daughter. (This focus does not bring about a recall of where I live. However, this is the second recent dream where I remembered her while my infra-self was erroneously on King Street and preparing to go to Northside La Crosse, though that one was caused by her speaking when I was sleeping. Also, I never saw Kinder Surprise products in America in reality.)

I fly to Northside La Crosse. I eat an entire chocolate pie (and appreciate its flavor) in an unfamiliar room implied to be in the Loomis Street house. (Dreams in which I eat something sweet only occur after I drink something sweet before sleep.) After this, I am watching television with my brother-in-law Bob. I do not care much about watching his show, which he comments on at times. I subliminally become aware of the nexus (the precursory association being the television), and this causes me to choose to go out onto the front porch. I look outside from the porch door and see a few unfamiliar people in the dark of late night. (There is no recall of often using this scenario to vivify and sustain my dream. Instead, I succumb to the subliminal awareness that I am dreaming in the next scene.)

I lie down on the couch on the porch, my head east. My dream becomes much more vivid in this preparatory transition. Marilyn’s neighbor comes onto the porch but appears as she was in the late 1970s. It is dark, but I can vaguely discern whom it is seemingly implied to be. She is going into the living room to see Bob but stops briefly, saying, “Oh, hello Claude, I’m sorry if I scared you.” On the one hand, there were no concerns about this simulacrum coming onto the porch (even though the preconscious is typically domineering at this stage of the waking process in this dream type). On the other hand, she never called me by my real first name in real life, and this error augments my self-awareness, though I remain only semi-lucid and soon wake.

Hearing my name in a dream usually results in consciousness shifts and level of awareness, as my imaginary dream self is unlike my waking life identity. It causes me to think about who I am, which causes me to wake, though the porch as the commonly recurring “bridge” through the nexus was already extant.

This entity had the essence of the interconsciousness more so than the preconscious (which seems absent here), which is atypical but has happened in other dreams. It most likely included an emerging but distorted thread of recalling Zsuzsanna. However, why was it apologizing? Does this go all the way back to 1965 when it came as a giant white cat (with a beard) that walked over my chest (one of my first nexus-as-porch dreams)? It may also relate to the bull simulacrum that, as a child, served as a limitation of deliberate dream state vivification and indefinitely sustaining them (which is unhealthy).

I think that the five eggs are autosymbolic for the beginning of the return to consciousness, as I have five children, though my infra-self only remembers my younger daughter, which correlates with the partially unwrapped egg as the beginning of waking life recall. (This is a no-brainer as “kinder” means “children” in this context in German - well DUH.) Yellow is the color I have always used (since early childhood) to initiate consciousness, whether in subliminal, liminal, or lucid modes. (Plus, it being on my ride side indicates waking process association, as I sleep on my left side with my right more exposed to my real environment.)

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Morning of November 23, 2018. Friday.

Dream #: 18,967-04. Reading time: 2 min 52 sec. Readability score: 59.



King Street boarding house in La Crosse in late morning. (Irrelevant to waking life since 1990). I may have descended the imaginary staircase (though I do not have the memory of it) to sustain and vivify my dream.

I am at the bottom of the staircase from the second floor, where there is the fictitious feature of an L-shaped foyer where I remain until my dream ends. My landlady comes in from her kitchen and tells me to mop the floor in this area. The mop bucket is to my left. The mop is next to it.

I do not use any water. I guide the mop over the floor and soon see a C-shaped clump of dust that it gathers and consider if I should tell the landlady that I should sweep the floor first. Soon, I see several Kinder Surprise toys on the floor, one of them a small penguin figure. I move the mop, and they are all in a small cluster.

I hear my youngest daughter talking from upstairs, though I do not discern what she is saying. My landlady comes in (again from her kitchen) and asks me if my daughter has eaten yet. I am uncertain but tell her that she may have gotten something on her own. I inform her that I will be taking my daughter “to the north side” (meaning Northside La Crosse, to the Loomis Street house).

She seems concerned that my daughter is on her own upstairs and mentions something about having heard of a boy on a CD, who recently died. (This is possibly my infra-self distorting “TV” to prevent a literal waking life translation, as the unconscious mind is not viably accessible in the dream state, contrary to popular misconception.)

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My dream starts decoding itself a moment before waking. None of our children have ever lived in America, let alone Northside La Crosse (or the King Street mansion on the south side of town either). I do not use the mop bucket, because I subliminally recall that water represents melatonin and potential dream state reinduction (and mopping or cleaning being an inherited biological thread of the glymphatic system, when fluid increases in cells while sleeping). (Because of this, water in the nexus, other than when I am entering or anticipating a return to sleep, never occurs. Despite the presence of the mop bucket and thinking it might be full of water, I never actually look into it and use the mop in its dry condition. Why? Because I am subliminally aware of being in the dream state - non-lucid - and my daughter might need me as perceived by RAS - even though Zsuzsanna is also awake, thus I do not seek to reinduce my sleep cycle.)

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For many years (even in childhood), I have been trying to determine if there is any consistent cause as to which threads of the current conscious self survive the demolition past the nexus and the transpersonal interconsciousness into non-lucid dream space. The infra-self is focused on the transition through the sleeping, dreaming, and waking space, not real life or from the viewpoint of the conscious self identity as in waking life, which ceases to exist in non-lucid dream space (one of many reasons I wholly dismiss “dream interpretation” in the typical use of the term).

My youngest daughter is the sole liminal presence here based on something presently real in my life (though my dream self has no memory of my current address or that we live in Australia even in otherwise having recognition of my daughter). The reason is that she was awake and talking in reality at the time (in the lounge room) and it filtered through the nexus, the only thread that reached my infra-self.

The staircase leads down into the (fictitious) L-shaped foyer. A foyer or porch is often a concurrent “bridge” within the nexus in all modes of dream manifestation (subliminal, liminal, and lucid) and RAS (reticular activating system) processes. It is used the same way in hypnosis and meditation. However, a staircase is not just about initiating consciousness in the waking process (or using it to vivify a dream when descending one). It is also about breaking the imaginary physicality of liminal space and becoming aware of the physical body (vestibular system correlation).

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Morning of November 22, 2018. Thursday.

Dream #: 18,966-01. Reading time: 1 min 40 sec. Readability score: 50.



I am looking at the ocean while I am incorporeal. It is near either sunrise or sunset. The ocean’s surface has a purple hue. A drone that I see as firstly flying high in the sky reaches a small island. At first, I do not know what it is. It had been sent to study lemurs. Eventually, I feel that it is invasive and unwarranted. There is a family of lemurs that sits in what is more like an oversized bird nest. An unfamiliar narrator’s voice (very rare in my dreams), as if as part of a documentary, mentions something about the mother lemur and “what she makes of it.” (I hear “make” twice, but I do not recall the full phrase. It seems to imply making something in a literal context but is ambiguous.)

I am aware that the mother lemur may capture the drone and hide it somewhere, like inside the nest or covered with something, to prevent humans from watching them or discovering where they are.

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Purple (as a dominant feature) is an uncommon color in my dreams (though so is orange) and only dominates when coming up more quickly out of slow-wave sleep, of which the ocean represents the residual essence. (Ocean presence of a vivid discernment, other than its depths, typically only occurs in the last dream of a sleep cycle, whereas rivers, lakes, and streams occur near the beginning of every sleep cycle and often even when I am not asleep, in the first stages of hypnagogia. I associate water with the natural melatonin process and sleep itself, usually hearing the imaginary sound of water as I enter sleep.)

Lemurs, as well as monkeys, on the fundamental level, are often a precursory subliminal association with coming up out of the dream state, a representation of the infra-self.

Flying autosymbolism (either projected or inherited) has occurred in my dreams at least once (typically more than once) during every sleep cycle for over fifty years. It is the main factor of vestibular system correlation, the primary process of resolving physicality because the physicality of the dream state is imaginary (which triggers falling dreams, the so-called “waking start”).

The drone is the emerging consciousness factor in this transition, a non-lucid and often invasive dynamic by way of the preconscious, seeking out my infra-self (the lemurs in this case) to initiate consciousness. A look at thousands of my (non-lucid) dream posts on Tumblr (once autosymbolism is legitimately understood) will reveal the same processes with infinite variations.

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