non-lucid

Morning of November 4, 1985. Monday.



This is a somewhat distorted dream in terms of activity and themes. The main aspect of this one more vivid section is seemingly running from an area where there may have been a shooting of a president or mayor, though I am not sure if the person was killed. It first seems like I am in Wisconsin and then suddenly in Florida, running from the southwest to the northeast through my Cubitis backyard. It almost seems as if I had been involved somehow though I am not sure of my dream’s backstory.

At one point, where we used to have bonfires (a little more towards the southern section of the weedy area prior to the railroad tracks), there is some sort of implied epiphany of a “whale man”. The “whale man” is actually better described as a typical merman, I suppose, except that the bottom half is like a killer whale or orca, and the top half is a man. The theme is seemingly relative to the phoenix (only very loosely). Perhaps the politician was shot and returned as this being, or he was always like this (and thus I cannot be guilty of any possible crime), I am not sure. It also seems as if I am looking at a political poster for a short time. The part that is manlike reminds me of a young version of Walter Mondale. He seems suspended above the water with the whale tale in a slight arc. I think he actually may be running for president and as a Republican. He seems friendly and cheerful. I am not certain of his political values or standing. (In real life, I hardly ever thought about politics.)

There is probably a rhyming association with “whale” and “Mondale”. It is also possible that the whale represents a new political party relating to better ecological policies.

This dream is type ECA (subtype acc: parallel accompaniment). Here, the emergent consciousness is already coalesced into the last segment as the hybridized “whale man” (or merman implied to be aggressive on the bottom since the tail is of a killer whale or orca, but cheerful on the top; an atypical ambiguity). However, the phoenix essence is also very clearly implied as the reintegration of full consciousness, especially as the merman rises from the area in my Cubitis backyard where we had bonfires. The ambiguity of the hybridization was caused by dream events involving, firstly, the death of a politician (bottom layer - aggression) by the transition (top layer) of the phoenix concept - or politician’s “resurrection” (conscious self emergence as a cheerful epiphany)

Morning of April 3, 1985. Wednesday.



I am in an unfamiliar store that sells miscellaneous items. (I get the impression the cashier is oriented east of me). I am not fully sure what I am going to buy. There is an association with smaller paint-by-number kits (that come in sets of two paintings each) as well as bathroom supplies (such as shampoo).

The main focus is on puzzlement over my wallet and the money I have. It is not all actual money at first and eventually there is no “real” money in bills at all.

Instead of twenty-dollar bills (and other notes), which is what I thought I had more of, the cash is actually cut out comic strips of “The Wizard of Id” (that are slightly larger than normal). This of course is quite embarrassing but surely the “money” is not realistic enough to be associated with the idea that I am trying to use counterfeit money deliberately. There is no drama or eventual threat from anyone else based on my actions or possession of “funny money”. I mostly just search through my wallet without finding any “real” money and become quite puzzled. I believe there is also some Monopoly board game play money which has appeared in other dreams as such. I am trying to remember why I put all these cut out comic strips in my wallet or maybe I did it absentmindedly.

My sister carol always pronounced the “Id” in “The Wizard of Id” as rhyming with “ride” (as in being like the contraction for “I had”) though I always said it as rhyming with “rid”. This particular dream may be a reflection concerning the idea of id and ego (see “Why Freud Still Matters, When He Was Wrong About Almost Everything”) though more as being rendered comedic (as a comic strip) in hearing about and associating with such ideas.

I cannot presently recall a dream about wanting to buy something and seeing my paper money as it should actually be. I do not believe that having distorted paper money (often printed on only one side in dreams) is symbolic at all just as many things in dreams are clearly not symbolic but solely an artifact of the dreaming or waking process itself. It is not because of the unconscious mind being unable to render print or numbers or letters in a certain way either, as I have had numerous dreams with very realistic comic book pages (on both sides) and other printed materials.

Night of April 27, 1984. Friday.



There were two times in my life where I had an extremely vivid and fully in-body dream of a “melted” bicycle in a more notable way, and each time I had had a small amount of alcohol in real life prior to my dream (although I normally have not drank at all throughout my life). Thus, when I think of beer or alcohol in general, I automatically think of useless, melted bicycles, which seems to imply you “lose control” or are “unable to steer”.

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I go down the front stairs from my apartment in the King Street boarding house and onto the porch. It seems fairly late at night or very early in the morning before dawn. Soon, another person who is very drunk (Shawn P) comes out and says what a nice bicycle I have and continues to say positive things about it in a sincere but inebriated way. The bicycle is leaning against the front of the porch on the right side of the doorway. Upon taking a closer look as I am taking it out from the porch to ride it, I then see that the entire front half is partly melted and crooked and thus unusable.

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See also: The Beam (warning against alcohol?)

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Morning of October 5, 1983. Wednesday.



In my dream, I am watching the news in my L-shaped room at the end of the hall (and to the right) in the King Street boarding house. The television is in a similar location as it is in real life - in about the middle of the longest rectangular area (but is color instead of black and white), but turned perpendicularly towards the east where I am apparently seated or in bed. I am not that aware, but I am focused on the imagery and sound of the television news report.

Over time, I become more and more clear on where I am and what I am seeing within my dream. The man on television is about thirty and wearing a necktie of mostly blue and orange. In real life, the sustained buzzing of my alarm clock had started. This causes my dream to take on a rather bizarre change. The man I am watching on the television starts grabbing at his neck immediately as he is saying “and they are going to…mahhhhhh” - his voice warping flawlessly into the alarm clock sound (the implied word seeming to be “make”, yet only the m is human-like). The buzzing alarm clock sound is coming from his open mouth and he is desperately trying to loosen his tie, continuing to clutch at his throat as it buzzes, with his visage being more and more horrified. After a fairly short time, I am aware that I am coming out of my dream state.

This is a very good example of a dream that is apparently completely lacking in meaning or foresight (at least at one level - I did not document all the nuances of the in-dream news report) and suddenly truncated (or “interrupted”, assuming my dream was “going anywhere” in plot) by a real-life event, in this case, real-life audio - as in probably about equally occurring contrast to in-dream precognition or foreshadowing that somehow builds up to align with a real and unexpected sound not yet present while sleeping. In those cases, some people make the mistake of assuming the sound may have caused the dream’s outcome. However, in some cases, the dream was already seemingly building up to the not yet occurring sound (again, unlike in the case of this entry where my dream was unexpectedly “destroyed” by the intrusive sound) - thus a form of obvious real-time precognition in the other dream type I have never read about elsewhere. I have experienced it myself fairly often.

Morning of September 11, 1983. Sunday.



This is one of several very vivid (but non-lucid) dreams that seemed to reflect aspects of foreshadowing regarding 9-11. Dreams of this type (including one similar to this one) seemed to start in 1977, where the main patterns of a more precise nature regarding my future wife (especially regarding her “conquering” of Susan R, the “other”) were already in play, so to speak.

My dream starts out where I am in a large wheat field. I seem to be in a fairly good mood and am feeling relaxed. However, there is a sense of impending disaster for some reason. Looking back towards the horizon (I am not sure of directional orientation - if I went by my Cubitis bedroom and in-dream focus, it would be mostly to the northeast), I see a low-flying airplane. There are two skyscrapers in the distance (but no other more discernible buildings or landmarks). The airplane is heading directly for one of the skyscrapers, the one on my right. Knowing it will probably crash (seemingly on purpose) and even though it is not that close to where I am, I start running west.

As I run west, I seem to feel myself either shrinking or at least changing in perspective in a very bizarre way. I suddenly seem to be running through some sort of metallic tunnel which is like an awareness of running inside of a “giant computer” with various printed circuits on floor, walls, and ceiling. Behind me is an approaching energy that I know will destroy me and anyone else in the world or at least in the region. It makes a sort of sizzling sound as it gets closer and closer to me. In the distance, at the end of this “hall”, I see a forest and hope I will reach it.

I perceive a phrase somewhat dramatically, “That’s it, that’s all, it’s everything gone!” almost like a line from poetry. I awake at this time as the sizzling gets louder behind me and I feel an intense heat. I have a sense that this giant hall has something to do with people communicating by computer on a global scale, but that the airplane has triggered the end of all the circuits or some such through an increasingly destructive explosion. This was a typical composite precognitive event. It was quite some time until I was actually “inside” computers relative to being able to easily manipulate machine language code (through a self-learning process and realizing it was all mostly “conditional jumps” and little else) until I went on to something else, as I then took on the perspective that computer technology was at least half-myth and most of what programmers claimed was false, which of course is as with pretty much everything else.

This dream appears to have a legitimate and typical precognitive marker. Even though the airplane crashing into the skyscraper (tower) is the waking component in this case, it is also a September 11th dream and has other legitimate associations with terror such as when I cry out “That’s it, that’s all, it’s everything gone!” This causes me to ponder what is really going on in other levels of collective consciousness over any given longer time period. While it is true that the skyscraper as the tower here is my emergent consciousness and the airplane the projection of my dream self in being “stopped” during the waking transition, there is more to it, primarily literal. I run through the tunnel which is also the waking conduit (more accessible here than the tower), even more so as it looks like a circuit-board on all four sides (two walls, ceiling, and floor), the circuit-board being a model of the human brain, here upsized as my dream self seems downsized, almost shrunken.

Morning of April 17, 1983. Sunday.



In the past I have stated that a snake may sometimes relate to associations with the human intestine in dreams (because of their shape and the fact that they coil). A few times, this connection has even been proven - for example, the “Fer-de-Lance (Reprise)” dream.

Here is another example. I went to sleep with somewhat of a stomach ache. I am in an unknown coastal city, but which has features of my old primary school in Florida. There is a large ancient-looking water fountain near one esplanade area. There are several unknown people walking around.

Just under the water’s surface, I notice large snakes sort of moving through the water more like fish. Over time, they take on the characteristics of human waste but are still snakes. There is a vague uneasiness as if one should not go near the fountain even though I sense that the snakes are not able to leave the water.

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It could not be more obvious that in this particular case, snakes represent human waste (especially as they had the appearance as such). What I am looking at in this dream is an upsized toilet. My stomachache was not even needed for confirmation in this case.

Night of December 17, 1982. Friday.



This is an old dream from mid-December 1982, which, for some incomprehensible reason, popped clearly into my head last night, practically from “out of nowhere”, so I thought I would look it over. It mostly involves only myself and my brother-in-law Bob as characters.

We are to enter a store after hours. It is a larger store that exists in real life on the north-side of La Crosse. For some reason, we have to steal Christmas ornaments from inside the store (mostly near the checkout aisles to the north end it seems) and a few Christmas trees from a fenced-in area outside on the south end - it seems to have to do with “rescuing” or recovering alien surveillance devices or some such to get them back to the orbiting spacecraft. I have no idea how we are to get so much at once, but there may be a trailer involved (my brother-in-law has his station wagon there on the west end in the parking lot). I mostly remain in the store on my own. I see televisions on in the store and there are the scenes of the weird vegetable-puppet-looking creature from “Cold Hands, Warm Heart” - an episode of “The Outer Limits”. There is no danger, just a vague focus on a “mission” of sorts. The dream does not seem to have a resolution or even an ending, just me wandering around and trying to work out which ornaments are “alien” and which are not. I seem to be getting some sort of subtle help or at least clues from the vegetable creature that just sort of waves her/its arms around on the television screens or closed-circuit monitors. No one else shows up even though the lights are all on, so I guess there is no alarm or we (or the aliens) had deactivated it.

I do remember also, a scene of snow and cold and riding in the car while Bob drives, and feeling pretty good about the “theft” or “rescue” or whatever was going on.

Morning of November 17, 1982. Wednesday.



In the last clearer segment of a non-lucid dream that otherwise relates to indiscernible activity in the living room and dining room (as I am in the northeast bedroom of the Loomis Street house in my dream and implied to have been sleeping), doorway waking symbolism seems to be part of the transition, at least by potential. However, this changes to physical hypnopompia. (The prior dream however, “Snow Bear”, did resolve with doorway waking symbolism, but apparently for different reasons.)

An unseen toy train is perceived as bumping against the door to the room I am “sleeping” in, from the other side (living room). There is also an additional buzzing and clicking at times, presumably made by this toy train. (In reality however, there was no door to this room, only a set of curtains. My non-lucid dreams rarely render real-life environments with viable correctness and no two detailed environments are ever the same.) This door is “remembered” to open outward into the living room from the left (again, a false memory as there is no door in reality), though I never open it during my dream.

I get the ridiculous illogical impression that the toy train “wants” to enter the room. I consider that toy railroad tracks might not need to be present, though I still eventually rise up from my bed to briefly check around the room, though I do not see any.

I am eventually surprised and alarmed by the toy train moving towards my head on the left side of my bed. It creates the surreal impression of being alive and now as a large and possibly threatening undulating caterpillar (though unseen and under the bed sheet), though it may just be seeking comfort. Physical hypnopompia results in attempting to move my arm to block it, my arm being slightly numb from lying on it.

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When other forms of waking symbolism do not work, physical hypnopompia always does (and in the case of a numb arm, sometimes associated with a snake as the RAS waking prompt). In this case, the toy railroad tracks are apparently analogous to blood circulation, the closed door relating to blocked circulation (especially as both doorknob and arm are relevant to the left side). The prior dream related to answering the door (“Snow Bear”) is apparently a coincidence (especially as perceiving door knocking is a main alert factor of waking life, so naturally the reticular activating system would biologically implement it as such), as the implications are completely different (environmental noise as possible real knocking in contrast to blocked circulation while sleeping).

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Morning of September 11, 1982. Saturday.



Dream Series: The Experience of Prescience, the Inexplicable Dream State Phenomenon. Part 7

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I seem to be living in the future though I am unsure of what the implied date is. At any rate, it seems to be (at least at first) an odd combination of the television series “Hogan’s Heroes” and George Orwell’s “1984” (as well as influence from “Logan’s Run”). There is a large room full of computers (reminiscent of NASA) where everyone is watched. It seems sad and strange that public surveillance is everywhere. Still, there is a focus on the question of who is watching the people who are watching everyone else. The group in control of the world government is called “The Delegates”. They mostly drive around in black jeeps and black limousines. The unfamiliar town in my dream is called something like Maryborough or Marlborough.

I become aware of my “mystery girl” (precognitive wife-to-be character) over time. Photographs are somehow made by computers. However, it is illegal to keep photographs older than a certain date. There are barbed wire fences throughout “ordinary” neighborhoods. I want to be with my dream girl, but it seems we may have to find a region beyond the reach of these “Future Delegates” (the term being used in my dream relating to younger politicians who are training to control large groups of people). I discover photographs in a drawer of features of the past that the government does not want people to know about. Some of it seems Biblical. At this point I seem to be in a movie. Werner Klemperer (an actor from “Hogan’s Heroes”) seems to be in charge of looking for my “mystery girl” and me near a beach. A number of black vehicles are in the area.

In the last segment, I am somehow standing atop an airplane (without any fear of falling) while hugging my “mystery girl”. In the distance is Manhattan. A tower of the World Trade Center is burning. It seems like “the sky is falling”. I perceive, on some levels that it may be the end of the world. However, I still think it may be possible to reach a livable region where government does not exist.

In the end, we jump into the ocean, still hugging.

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• Zsuzsanna was a fan of “Hogan’s Heroes” before we met though she did not know one of the stars (Bob Crane) had been murdered. (For some reason, I had a precognitive dream of Bob Crane’s death, which had similar dynamics as this dream).
• This dream had some influences from “Logan’s Run”. The precognitive dream about Bob Crane, I “cleverly” gave the title “Hogan’s Run” (before his death).
• When I went into a library for the first time with Zsuzsanna, in Maryborough, I saw the same edition of a book (right on the top of a stack of books on a cluttered table) called “Space Opera”. This had the story “Tonight the Sky Will Fall”, first seen on September 11th, 1966 (about a week after starting school for the first time in La Crosse). My father and brother-in-law used to get various books from a nearby landfill. This included science-fiction digests, “Outdoor Life” magazines, and adult cartoon digests, all of which my reading skills increased through. With “Space Opera”, I had “Friday the Thirteenth”. This included a story about a girl riding a white horse (and who had special abilities relating to telepathy and remote viewing). Zsuzsanna was born on Friday the Thirteenth and was photographed atop a large white horse as a child around the same time as another related dream.
• There is a redhead in “Tonight the Sky Will Fall” named Leila. Zsuzsanna has a red-haired half-sister named Lelia. A main factor of the story is that his dream girl turns out to be real and that his dreaming brought the universe into existence.
• The level of surveillance and items like webcams, I never thought could reach the level it was in my dream, yet it has gone eerily beyond that which was featured in my dream. Still surveillance as such supposedly lowers crime in at least some areas. This is probably more related to connecting to the collective unconscious than solely personal insight.

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Morning of September 5, 1982. Sunday.



There is some sort of creature or imp that lives in a cupboard under the kitchen sink at my brother Earl’s house in Florida (though he had not lived there for several years in reality), though which later seems to be in Wisconsin at a motel. My dream and the offset sequence seems to take place in late morning.

The creature, which is apparently made of electricity, projects small bolts of lightning up through the drain somehow (as if the pipe is not there and the creature is directly under where the water would flow). However, I am never directly threatened by the imp and the lightning seems mostly inconsequential. I visualize the imp as probably only being about a foot tall.

At one point, he sounds like a human talking, but with a sort of hollow or metallic sound. It seems that Earl will be unlikely to live in the apartment anymore until the “electric imp” is gone. I do not see this imp at any point, only the smaller patterns of lightning coming out of the drain now and then. Although the imp may be talking to me (though I do not focus on what it is saying), I do not speak at any point in this dream or the following offset segment.

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In an offset dream, though still part of the same sequence (without waking), I find myself in an unknown parking lot (though is possibly near Shopko on the north side of La Crosse). I see Earl sitting in the back seat of an unknown car, on the right-hand side. His face seems distorted, without the potential for it to be a real human face (which my dream self finds inconsequentially puzzling). Still, he reminds me of a handicapped male in a television commercial from years ago, who said, “I’m a little tired. I’m alright though,” when emerging from the water of a large indoor swimming pool.

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The last scene is a transmuted water lowering waking symbol (subliminally associated with someone emerging from water as analogous to leaving the dream state), even though the electric imp was already a factor of water lowering waking symbolism. A parking lot is also a common waking space symbol for me, though typically the second-from-last dream of the sleeping period (as this was) while a porch is typically the final waking symbolism setting of a sleeping period.

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Morning of April 3, 1982. Saturday.



I am in La Crosse, Wisconsin on the south side of town and west of the main library. There are a number of other people around, mostly unknown. There is a tornado coming in our direction (from the southwest), or so it seems for several minutes. I can hear the train-like rumbling sounds (like with a real tornado but which may be caused by real environmental noise such as louder traffic while sleeping). I am with some friends and we and the other people are eventually running everywhere, though mostly north.

All of a sudden, there is a strange screeching sound (again, possibly caused by real-life environmental sounds intruding into my dream without waking me, such as a vehicle’s brakes squealing). We look back and it turns out to have been an enormous caterpillar spinning a cocoon and was not a tornado. Everything is quiet now that the caterpillar has entered this stage and is vertically oriented within the giant cocoon, apparently sleeping and not threatening in any way. Additionally, I get the impression that it was not actually chasing us. We just happened to originally be in the area it was coincidentally moving towards during the faux chase. Eventually, I become semi-lucid and personally indulge in sensual pleasures in an offset scenario until I choose to wake.

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Resupplemented for a clearer and more detailed explanation on Saturday, 2 December 2017.

There are really two levels to this dream, a natural (biological) ordinary meaning and a spiritual meaning if one is so inclined. On the natural level, a tornado is a factor of RAS and inner ear dynamics as precursory waking symbolism, an extreme augmentation analogous to potential dizziness in real life. In this case, that aspect is validated by a second inner ear dynamic, the potential butterfly flight symbol, which is “frozen” and thus as a result, triggering lucidity against the subdued RAS factor (similar to the “frozen” bird silhouettes in more recent apex lucidity dreams). On one level of course, this dream was at least partly influenced by “Mothra” (a 1961 movie).

Spiritually, tornadoes represent the powerful bottom half of the Merkaba (even in my earliest childhood dreams) and, due to the “raw force” of a tornado, relate to personal dream state alchemy. (In certain trance states of deep meditation, I vividly experience the Merkaba by touching my wife Zsuzsanna on the shoulder, the Merkaba of which appears as two blue tornadoes uniting, rotating in opposite directions, with extraordinarily vivid impressions which I can only describe as seeing hundreds of different wedding ceremonies of different cultures and eras.) The transition from tornado to caterpillar-in-cocoon implies a waiting stage prior to changing into a butterfly (a type of personal ascension or implying the state of readiness for meeting my “dream girl” in real life).

Susan R (the only person other than Zsuzsanna of whom I could ever sense as existing on other levels) and Zsuzsanna (before I knew she was a real person) drew identical vertically-oriented anthropomorphic caterpillars in a top hat (as if one had been traced over the other with even the same stray line) as a part of an otherwise dissimilar story. (One of my relatives was scared and angered by seeing this as most ordinary people do not like the unexplained, though over time, changed their way of thinking and was eventually glad I had found my “dream girl” after so many precise clues over so many years.)

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“The caterpillar makes an appearance in a few other places outside ‘Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland’, such as 'American McGee’s Alice’ and the novel 'The Looking-Glass Wars’; in both of these spin-offs he plays the role of an oracle.”

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Morning of March 31, 1983. Thursday.



It seems to be early morning in my dream, just before sunrise. I am in an unusual composite setting of a “compressed” and seemingly isolated cornfield and the backyard of the Loomis Street house at the same time. (A “compressed” setting is where an implied larger environment somehow fits into a much smaller one, which can only be perceived as such in the dream state and is unresolvable in conscious afterthought. This is an incidental distortion of the dream state itself, as the subconscious self does not have a viable perception of either time or space, so it is unwise to pretend it has a meaning.)

Soon, there seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion from the eastern horizon. It is in the distance and the sky grows red, though I do not directly discern the mushroom cloud. There is eventually a strong wind. All I remain aware of is the wind blowing against the scarecrow as if it was the last construct of the human race. The wind makes an almost human-like sound, but like a soft though eerie chorus, though there is a female chorus in the final moments, which leaves the impression of a movie soundtrack. (I become aware of the meaning of my dream in hypnopompic disclosure, which I will clarify from here.)

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As I learn that my dream is autosymbolic of the dream state and waking process itself and not to be mistaken as relating to waking life (as my non-lucid subconscious self has no viable access to either my unconscious mind or conscious self identity), what are some obvious clues that reveal this?

“Soon, there seems to be the presence of a nuclear explosion from the eastern horizon.” The sun rises in the east, which means in this case, the autosymbolism represents the dramatic cessation of the dream state and nothing more. (Additionally, red only dominates my dream when I have slept a little longer than usual. I have otherwise found no evidence of it having any waking life relevance when it occurs as such.) This is additionally evidenced by the “movie soundtrack” in the last moments, a common dream feature, as a dream becomes more vivid by way of the preconscious, not the unconscious (as dreams occur in REM sleep, when closer to consciousness).

Another clue is the scarecrow. What movie seemingly revealed to be a dream features a scarecrow? Hint: “I think I’ll miss you most of all.” The personified subconscious (dream self) does not “have a brain”. It also does not have a real physical body. Ultimately, this dream is an expression of saying goodbye to Oz (the dream state). (There may also be a subtle association with vestibular system correlation, one of the most common dream causes, as a scarecrow is associated with scaring away birds as flight associations in dreams usually occur with biologically resolving genuine vestibular system dynamics with the illusory dynamics of the dream state.)

On a final note, I do not see this as a bad dream, let alone a nightmare. (It occurred during sunrise, correlating with the autosymbolic content.)

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Morning of February 14, 1982. Sunday.



This is one of those “riding around in a car while relatives look for something” dreams, more common when I was much younger. I am with my brother-in-law Bob though at another point seem to be with someone else who is driving (possibly brother-in-law Mel and my sister Carol). I am in the back seat on the right side for the most part and my dream wavers between being alert and feeling a bit “off”.

There is a strong focus on finding a “bird cemetery” that takes up exactly one city block, or so it seems. However, over time, I get a very eerie feeling that something is not quite right. Time does not seem to pass normally as if I am living within some sort of looped or repeating situation. It does not come to my awareness at all that there are no bird cemeteries as such, and such an idea does not even seem strange to me in-dream. In fact, I get the impression that most bird cemeteries are probably a little bigger than many human cemeteries. At one point, it seems we pass the same bird cemetery several times (even though we do not make any turns, it seems) but do not stop because, for some reason, it is not the right one (the one we apparently are actually going to stop and visit). I see more and more bird cemeteries that seem similar or are somehow the “same” one and begin to recognize that there are hardly any other landmarks or areas with normal buildings (so that perhaps the “same” one-block bird cemetery is to be seen for three blocks in a row, that is, three instances of it). My uncomfortable awareness that I am stuck in some sort of “loop” remains until I wake as well as some sort of other unnamed but eerie association I cannot quite put words to (though my dream is too emotionless otherwise to be nightmarish).

This dream possibly came from (or was influenced by) the line “the mockingbird still singing o'er her grave”, as I get a vague impression that many of the birds are probably mockingbirds, shrikes, and starlings - this in turn possibly layered with the otherwise unrelated novel title “To Kill a Mockingbird”.

Update (July 2, 2015): I should probably add in this online entry that when I was very young, I very much thought that the line “the mockingbird still singing o'er her grave” was about the ghost of a mockingbird singing over her own grave. This is probably important regarding this particular dream’s distortion, as it was also a song my father sang (and he died on the fourteenth of February in 1979).

Morning of January 7, 1982. Thursday.

Dream #: 5,498-02. Reading time (optimized): 1 min.



I am on the city bus in La Crosse, seemingly headed south. The route is like one I had taken in real life from the north side to the south side. There are so many people on the bus that one unknown young female is standing at the front of the bus, though facing away from the main doors, and holding a baby of perhaps six months of age. I am seated in the middle of the right side, closest the aisle.

This female appears to be in friendly conversation with a few people sitting at the front of the bus. She is holding the baby with her right arm. Eventually, as the bus is coming to its next stop, she holds a large red apple in front of the baby’s face with her left arm. The infant not only opens his mouth impossibly wide to consume the apple in one gulp, but he also swallows the left forearm of the girl who is holding him. She looks at the baby with a sense of awe but seems uninjured and still cheerful.

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Two forms of coalescence waking symbolism occur here; firstly, the bus, which represents returning to consciousness (as an imaginary journey) in this case, with all the other dream characters together in one vehicle; secondly, the baby swallowing the apple with exaggerated dynamics. Being on a bus is also a form of linear vestibular system correlation, all vehicles being associations with the physical body. That factor typically includes cars, boats, and airplanes.

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Morning of November 9, 1981. Monday. Last reviewed and supplemented on Friday, 28 July 2017.



I become aware that I am sitting on the left arm of a couch in what seems to be the Loomis Street house. However, there is a feeling that the orientation is rotated in layout from the south wall of the living room to north wall of the dining room, so that the left arm of the couch is on the east side rather than the west side. It is not known if my dream implies that the living room and dining room have exchanged their locations as I am not focused on much other detail. I do see that there is a small side table on the left of the couch, which has at least a lamp and a rotary telephone. Still, it might be implied that I am in the dining room rather than the living room as I am vaguely aware of what could be the kitchen entrance farther off to my right rather than what would otherwise be the entrance from the porch.

An unknown male is sitting on the couch to my right, but not that close to me at first, only close enough to just reach me with his left hand. He seems to be an unknown and unfamiliar door-do-door salesman, possibly in his thirties.

He has a large snake hand puppet which covers nearly his entire left arm. It is not that realistic, though not as simple as a sketchy cartoon-like model.

He does not try to convey the idea that the puppet is talking though he does makes its mouth move. He does not seem to express that he knows that I know it is just a puppet. Perhaps he does not realize that I know it is just a puppet. (This is not certain.)

At another point, he mostly seems to remain behind the left side of the side table on the opposite side of me (to my left), reaching around with his left arm from the front. I make no attempt to acknowledge him or communicate in any way. Although he does not seem threatening, I remain annoyed, because I feel he is being childish, especially as my dream self identity is probably about twenty years old and such an approach is not what I would consider entertaining or even amusing. Although it seems he would have had to teleport to change position in this way (as I did not see him walking or moving to my knowledge), I do not think about his location changing as such and curiously, I do not see him as an imposer, only an annoying person of whom I do not reflect as having any backstory in this scenario.

When I awake, my left arm is numb, due to having my weight on it. (This is not a common event.)

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I do not believe that this dream is relevant to my conscious self’s day to day reality, and therefore, I do not believe that it has an “interpretation”. Here is why I believe this:

I believe that my awareness of the lamp on my left solely relates to my potential to become more aware in real time within my dream. I believe that the telephone on my left relates to either potential real-time communication with other levels of my consciousness or possibly thoughts perceived as originating from other people. I do not believe that there is any more to it than this because the experience is in real time, and is not a “recording” to “interpret” after the fact. (After all, in real life, you would go by what you experience as it is happening, not make claims that features like lamps or tables were something else the day before.)

The fact that I am “sitting on the left arm” of the couch rather than its seat implies liminal awareness that there is compromising weight on my left arm as I sleep.

The personified preconscious’s form as a door-to-door salesman implies a persona or feature that I would perhaps only see once, or at least not very often. The puppet is on his left arm, which means he is, in a rather odd and indirect way, trying to relay that my left arm is in a problematic position.

A puppet in a dream, in previous dreams, has been validated to be an “invitation” for my dream self to take control of my dream (though this same symbolism has also been validated as such in non-lucid dreams in most cases). In this case, it seems more about waking up and gaining control of my left arm.

Biological waking symbolism (more specifically, paresthesia waking symbolism) is the foundation of this dream and there is no reason to read more into it other than perhaps signifying the snake as a healing factor in getting my arm to move correctly again. The fact that the snake is not that realistic may be because my arm does not have its full natural use at the time.

Note that I have studied a lot of dreams in which a snake features. A snake often has completely different meanings in different dreams, which only the dreamer of the dream can come to correctly resolve.

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