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    cclxix. Family gathering, Journey

    by , 05-18-2021 at 10:32 AM (36 Views)
    17th May 2021

    Fragment:

    In a square or plaza, a place like L? Some kind of family gathering, we're right in the middle of the place. Some fuss is made about something (probably trivial) and L is there and maybe my cousin T. A throw is about to be put over the ground but as it is pulled out of whatever it was in, a pink skin-toned adult toy is dragged out along too. The toy bounces around unrealistically, somewhat out of control and taking a while to stop, with nobody being able to catch it. Even though it's not mine, I feel embarrassment over this since we're in such a public space. I feel this way because there are bystanders and I'm afraid of being judged by association?

    Later, I'm with my sibling T in a lava area. It's implied to be UT2k4 and we can do the dodge moves like in the game. We need them too, so we can cross a lava gap as we travel through the inside of a hollowed out tree trunk, which is all carbonised. I think to myself about it being lucky that the person who made the level didn't know how to do terrain properly, because it meant that there were very flat bits, making it easy to get across safely. I remember noticing and briefly inspecting the terrain tessellation.

    Notes:

    - I'd recently been making a level on UT2k4's editor but I stopped working on it kind of abruptly even though I didn't consciously want to. I seemed to have stopped after remembering and feeling sad that nobody will ever play my maps, since the game is mostly dead and obscure now.
    -- In that map, I finally learned how to do terrain, which is a large feature for the map.

    - The lava place was atmospherically volcanic, but I don't recall any smells or ambience sounds.

    - Thinking about the fact that I was only with T in the second part... We used to do a lot of things together and in the dream, I think as a person it seemed like he was more like when we were younger.

    - My family never shares anything about our sex lives or anything relating to that part of life. I have always felt there's an awkward silence to all of it. The spontaneous, silly and uncontrolled situation with the toy in the dream, I think it reflects part of this.
    -- On the other hand, on the few occasions I've spoken to my parents about such things I ended up feeling embarrassment, probably because it was never normalised as a topic of conversation.
    JakeMcDake likes this.

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