DarkestDarkness

Long days and earlier than usual mornings with quite a strict routine have made it difficult to keep recall consistent. Possibly better next week.

21st September 2020

Scraps:

Several dreams, recall faded as I tried to make note after an abrupt awakening because of having to go answer the door.

22nd September 2020

Fragment:

At a version of school. I'm either a teen or younger. Sitting a desk with my friend D. We're putting away some A4 sheets but together they are an A3 size. (not sure how I meant this, since that's simply a fact...)

23rd September 2020

Fragment:

Dream based on BL? Something about item stacks going up to infinity? Also something about some cylinders or tubes of glass that had something to do with game world generation; the tubes or whatever had to be filled with materials/items in order to work.

---

Notes:

- About the second dream. Strictly-speaking, the dream wasn't all that significant or unusual in terms of themes, but it's the only dream to date where I can remember actually feeling/being younger. This is in itself unusual for me, but I'm also not sure how I knew I was younger, my height I think? My friend was also the same relative age.
- I haven't spoken to that friend in years and he had become distant by the time we were in high school, I think in part because of the groups he hung out with but also because we were simply not having the same lessons at all.
- The general theme of the dream probably came about as some kind of reminiscence or nostalgia of the past.

Been pretty busy lately and too tired as a result, but still been able to make note of some loose fragments.

---

17th September 2020

Scraps:

In a town or city. Doing some climbing with my old school friend C, in some old part of a town.

Something about a "debug" viewmode of a landscape set used as a backdrop like in Freelancer (I think I meant like a skysphere).

Something about a physically encoded (computer) memory that could be transmitted by light. A prize?

---

19th September 2020

Fragment:

From a fairly long dream. In this part, the dream plot was about WW2. I was in Nazi Germany and I was coming out of a building just when I and someone I'm with suddenly receive word that America has declared war on Germany.

The two German soldiers (with their contextual Nazi outfits) standing guard by the doors just outside the building overheard this as we were coming down some steps and commenting or something. They turned their heads ever so slightly toward us, seeming surprised about the news but not moving an inch from their post. They turned their heads straight forward again as we continued walking and then we walked past them, into an open street, I think.

Then at some point, I and other dream characters thought it was "high time" that we returned to our original time, in the "future". We had to get back to some sort of time machine pod.

I remember being in the room with the pod and it could only take one person at a time. This place was hidden somewhere in town? It was a concrete room and was very well lit, with large white fluorescent tube lights.

---

20th September 2020

Fragment:

Something about plain old items being an example of how a new storage unit thing could store multiple types of items. Recall faded quickly for some reason. Some lingering feeling of being related to games I've played recently (BL, Fact).

15th September 2020

Fragment:

Think I have no body, I'm following or the view is following a man going around a natural park or lake. He has an AA20 shotgun and he keeps firing it randomly, but mostly at the ground. I feel concerned about stray shots hitting someone. It seems there's nobody else around though.

By the end there's a gravelled car parking area. At some point after that, it's revealed the man was supposedly firing blanks (but they weren't).

Dream:

Part of a long dream. Something about a mall, but it's also a school? It's really busy and I am trying to get somewhere specific. I remember talking to someone but I go up several staircases and walk around an upper level, trying to avoid busy routes, but still encountering a lot of other pupils or something.

I get to an internal bus station of some sort? A transit hub, at any rate.

(recall gap)

Then I'm following a person around, in an office-like place. We're in a stairwell, we go down several levels, spirally, but the tiers and bends are all perfectly square and large, the steps themselves aren't too deep. I remember seeing doors every so often. There are engraved plaques, made of blue granite, engraved with counter-relief lettering that's got a golden finish.

We reach floor "-2", I notice this written on a plaque. I look out a big latticed window and see another building across the way, not far (a few feet), lit by sunlight. I think about how -2 must be code, or only locally relevant, since I knew and could see we were several stories up. The place has tall ceilings, I realise this more because of the large window. The stairs had a running carpet all the way along and it continued on into the hallways. The walls were covered in a medium-dark stained wooden panelling.

We go into a room here at this level. Very vague recall of the room. There's a desk? A book? The book is ancient. There is a magical aura to it, but this is almost unclear in the dream, I realise this only on waking up. The ancient book has tattered and yellowed pages with coloured-coded and symbol-coded separators. The books' nature means they are constantly shifting in appearance (almost like a "quantic" book of some sort?). I remember opening it and reading some part of it but no recall of how it looked, other than the fact that things shifted around.

Fragment:

False awakening in our bed. I find snot on my shoulder? Apparently it's H's. My recall of the room is very vague, but the darkness was warmer in tone than it should have been and there seemed to be an absence of any light sources.

Fragment:

Related, or in sequence to, the office dream. Big mansion place, outdoors. Large open gardens area, I remember some hedges but not much else. The mansion had an oblong rectangular shape; ovoid at the lateral ends?

First I'm visiting the mansion but then later in the dream I take ownership of it or something. Everything goes wonky after I own it, and I have to go around on foot in some mountain crag areas to find power sources and set traps.

Then at some point I move the entire mansion so that it sits level. I feel myself do this with my hands physically and remember seeing it from above, but no other senses suggested that I was of gigantic scale.

It's daytime out here and it's half bright but not, it's cloudy and overcast but there are godrays in the distance. There's a sort of moody feel, like a literal storm is approaching. The light and atmospherics look grey but golden and warm, in part because of the distant godrays. I see them near some mountains in the distance, past a vast body of water. The mansion was atop a cliffy area overlooking this body of water. A massive lake or small sea.

I remember several small fragments of being in the house. Interactions with dream characters but during my initial notes I don't really care to recall most of them. Some early ones about being interviewed and recruited as a doctor. There was someone else attending the same things as me, in alternate pace, it was an older snobby woman, also applying.

Scraps:

(in waking life) Went back to bed after answering the door. I had many dream scraps but almost all of them faded. I tried getting back to sleep and tried to focus on my intent to go back to the earlier dream, especially the bit about being hired as a doctor, as I thought this may help with becoming lucid. But my intent faded and I transitioned in and out of lesser states of awareness.

---

Notes:

- There's a great deal of internal and deeper themes here for me, especially around school, malls and office-type spaces. Some of these dreams felt like they were focused on consolidating my knowledge of certain features within buildings. In recent months I have felt that in drawings, my attention to detail in architecture is not well internalised and after recall these dreams I felt my associations of different features in buildings were expanded.
- Despite the crowds in the mall/school hybrid area, there was no covid pretext to any of my concerns about avoiding people. It was a mostly back-to-basics thing about not wanting to be in crowds.

- The view of the mountains and vast water was very picturesque; although I'm not sure of it being related in this case, on waking it did remind me of a picture we have on a wall of the bedroom, depicting an Italian lake.

- The ancient book was one of the most interesting features of these dreams. It's something I feel compelled to recreate in some artistic form now.
- Again its appearance may have been related to the fact that I have not internalised the details of books very well, which shows whenever I try to draw one from memory.

14th September 2020

Fragment:

Micro dream about a furry character, either animated or 3D. The character is a female fox or canid of some kind? She runs a shop and some other dream character is meddling inside the shop.

At night, once the shop is closed, the main character goes out into the streets and skulks in the shadows of some buildings. It's set in a small town or small city. There are white blue-ish light sources which could almost be mistaken as moonlight.

The character goes around some back alleys and shadows another character, nearly getting caught at some point?

---

Notes:
- I watched the stop-motion film titled "Fantastic Mr.Fox" a few weeks ago, may just be a residue of that.
- In the dream it was also like I was watching a film, not actively within it, except for the fact that some of the "camera" angles seemed a bit as if I was indeed on the set.

13th September 2020

Fragment:

Some segment where I was in a ship in space, like Freelancer. I think I'd bought a space station, but I can't remember how. Distant space looked dark, not as much as it should be in reality but there were only a few background nebulae.

The station had a bit of a T shape and it spinned around its longest axis. I think when I took my ship to dock with the station, the whole station rotated toward my ship and stayed fixed in that orientation. But the station didn't look quite like one from Freelancer. It had more details and looked "realistic". I remember interacting with someone, either through a chat interface or voice chat.

Fragment:

I'm with Hnk in an open area, it looks like WoW but it's not any actual area from the game. We have a raid group with us and we're killing something like a dragon boss. I'm a warrior and I have T2 gear, I think. I'm alternating threat with another tank. I remember planting Alliance banners. When the boss finally dies, all the currently placed banners from either faction (there were some Horde ones too for some reason) change to the opposing factions'.

The area looks a bit like Teldrassil. I remember after the boss is dead we run toward an arch of sorts, gnarled wood and stone?

(recall gap)

Something about Naxxramas, but it wasn't the "true" Naxxramas, which had some specific meaning in the dream. I talked to someone in the dream about this.

Fragment:

I'm in a completely flat desert (salt flats?). There are a couple of odd buildings, reminds me of BL in some way. Some dream characters, but recall faded too much.

Fragment:

Something about winning some kind of chocolate lottery or contest and as the prize I'd get chocolate for a lifetime. Some kind of chocolate bar. This tied in somehow with some kind of chocolate portals and rental servers?

---

Notes:
- A lot of the themes from these fragments are pretty well embedded in my head. Both games were games I played for a long time and between which I often alternated.
- The chocolate lottery probably comes from having watched "Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory" but also just from an underlying desire to win a similar kind of lottery, but involving actual money.
- The WoW dream is probably partly a reminder that I should talk to Hnk again, as I haven't remembered to do so for some time.

Finally done with catch-up now.

---

8th September 2020

Fragment:

Very long dream, poor recall because I had no chance to write about it until the evening.

A small housing area. Modern-style appearance, cubical lots of white and concrete and glass, but low flats? Two, three story at most. Vague details of it, but the plot revolved around marriage and the dream characters were all fictitious. I was myself, but mostly only in a physical sense, my life here was its own life, created by the dream.

The dream character I was supposed to marry was some girl, with odd hair or something? There was a Middle Eastern or Italian feel to her family. Maybe just Mediterranean in general.

Her father was famous/infamous. I think he was especially notorious for what he would do when he disapproved of a groom. I remember at first I did meet with his approval but at some point I realised this wasn't due to last, for some reason. Then, when he did become disapproving, he did not treat me as cruelly as he had treated others in the past, but warned me that something bad was to happen?

The girl became distant. Most of the dream's plot took place at their family flat.

11th September 2020

Fragment:

Again long dream but recall faded, left it too long.

I'm in some kind of fantasy action RPG. By the end, I entered some special hell area (very orangey) through a portal. The portal was framed by some sharp obsidian fang shapes?

I remember dying in that area, a stupid and avoidable death I think. That made me lose a lot of progress, at least of everything I'd done in there, which I now couldn't recover for some reason. Interactions with some narrating npc?

Fragment:

Micro dream where I'm looking at erotic art on my PC. The explorer layout is not my usual one but in the dream I don't make special note of this. A lot of the art is greyscale or line art only. I think about tracing some of it for practice but I end up feeling aroused as I'm looking through the pieces. Some of them were real ones I know from waking life but I think many were simply dream-generated.

Fragment:

Another dream in which I returned to the context of the first one. I was some warrior class character and fighting waves of humans and dwarves equipped with dark-ish metal armours. Every so often when I killed enemies, red banners would prop up on a black pole, with semi-random frequency. I remember looting some items.

Was too tired to make note of more and recall faded too much.

7th September 2020

Dream:

At a village of some kind, there's a crypt building? It's hidden away behind bushes and completely blocked in by trash and rubbish, the locals don't care about it anymore.

I hesitate because of feeling like things will be dirty, but I start to lob some bin bags out of the way. I'm expecting I'll uncover a stone staircase down into the crypt but eventually I uncover a metal lid instead.

I see an axe, it's been together with steel sections, it looks new. I pick it up and wedge it in between the lid and the floor and pry it open with some leverage. It works and I go in, down a ladder? Then I'm in some sort of ancient dilapidated engineering section. There are catwalks, everything's metal but nothing seems rusty or oxidised in any sense but I think the metals appear dull. The structure I'm on seems to be over an endless black pit. For some reason this doesn't bother me, it feels solid?

Then I'm holding the axe in my left hand, my phone on my right, using its torch. I realise that if danger were to show up I'll be having a hard time swinging the axe this way, so I swap hands. I wander and go through several different sections of this area. Some zed-like clones start appearing.

Using the axe, I swing aiming for their heads, my reach seems to exceed what it should be but I seem to be having trouble killing them. I don't remember what happened, but then I'm further into the compound. I find something in a different area which is more office-like. A magical artifact of some kind? It's why I was here, but what was it? Some golden dust bracers or something?

There's a tiny bit of a Fallout feel to the whole place but I'm thinking now it also reminds me of Stanley's parable and the back-areas of Portal. At some point some back-up power comes on.

(Transition or recall gap)

At a mansion of some kind. It's connected secretly, I'm speaking to someone and some dream character is a dear friend of mine, apparently. Vague memory of Patrick Stewart or Captain Picard? But I am hesitant to share details about this artifact thing. But I tell him that it could be used to control all of humanity, despite the fact that it could also be used to usher some new era of technology that would be of great benefit to everyone. Visions of this.

In the mansion place there is some kind of lift thing in an ornate square room, wooden panelling. The lift is cylindrical? Floor is made of glass, lots of teal/cyan light coming from below.

(Chronology of the dream is messed up)

I'm in Un'goro, I'm a hunter and kill a Horde hunter, level 68. Don't see my level but assume 60. Get him with an aimed shot.

Some bit out in a street. There's a Toshiba drive-by? They fail but then I'm shooting arrows at them.

(gap)

Back at the secret bunker place. I remember lifts several times. One time, one of them leads to the surface, something about the artifact. I remember sea all around and then when I get the artifact out of a bag or something there's 59 notifications on a UI from admirals and 100+ from other individuals or nations. They all want the artifact. I did read through the messages from the admirals but it's basically all crap, demanding the artifact some more politely than others.

(gap)

Back at the bunker place. In an office room with lobby. I leave the room, and I'm outside but still within the premises of the compound. There's lots of wild vegetation and some wire fence delimiting the premises. H is with me now, he's doing something with an odd-looking metal door. I wait while he does this and look around. Then I see a mini-helicopter thing. It's right here next to us but they don't spot us right away, it's flying no more than a few feet off the ground and there's a military man riding on top of it, doing weird acrobatics involving the helicopter's blade. I tell H to look and we both greet the man casually. I was afraid he'd alert someone but he didn't.

(transition)

Then inside the helicopter, it's massive, impossibly big, but still low in terms of headroom. This military guy and the pilot are sitting on a cushioned bit and we're talking. They are about our age or younger, I think to myself how they don't seem very imposing even as military without their uniforms, as they are now in casual wear. I wake up at some point here.

---

Notes:

- This dream was incredibly long and many details are missing, including character interactions. The recall chronology was a bit off too somehow.
- The themes in the dream seemed to mostly revolve around exploration and finding some kind of rare/valuable treasure, effectively.

5th September 2020

Dream:

One of several long ones. At a version of the clinic I'm registered with. I see a receptionist in a narrow hall and ask about whether they are still doing appointments. She said that appointments have to be booked nine days in advance, at least.

Then I proceed to the waiting room anyway. It's different from how it should be and a whole lot bigger. The room is packed, reminds me of an airport. It's well lit with natural light.

I try to find somewhere to wait and become aware that I'm wearing a dust cover mask. it feels like it keeps slipping down and uncovering my nose, which bothers me. Only a few other people are wearing masks of any kind at all. The vast majority is not, I don't feel that this is right but I feel there's nothing to be done about it and carry on. Eventually I find a little corner around a pillar. I think of sitting down at a chair but I remember thinking I don't want to be as close as everyone else is to each other. So I just lean back against the pillar.

At some point I realise I'm wearing one of my black t-shirts and the trousers I have typically been wearing lately. My mask slips off again, and I adjust it again. This time I try to make the upper strap stay in place better. I simple consider this recurring thing to be the fault of my choice of wearing a second version I found of the mask at home. (This would have been a good RC moment)

I see people come and go, in and out of appointments and the hall. I have thoughts about whether I'll be able to hear my name called from here.

Then as I'm waiting, around the corner I spot two black guys are having an argument with each other, they are at opposite ends of the area. Something about a game, but not? One of them is more calm than the other but is also upset. He's chunkier and nerdier in some sense. He has a cap, dark navy colour. His skin is about as dark as the cap, reminds me of Franklin from GTA5 but darker. The angrier guy is taller and is much closer to where I am, he is well built and again partly reminds me of Lamar, but no cap?

I forget their words to each other. I become curious if the angrier guy is going to get physical or not in his anger, he does a little, gesticulating violently but seemingly out of frustration, then letting go of the subject and simply walking away. Then when he's left a large number of people follow behind him.

For some reason, I eventually leave too. I'm outside, it's an unknown street. I remember a sandstone bridge over the road, it's daytime. Eventually a very full bus goes past, after I'd already crossed the road.

There's a white girl, with curly hair (what colour?). She's on the other side of the road, I feel I know her somehow in the dream. I forget exactly what happens next but then I'm going around on the back of a bike or something. Streets remind me of native country.

Eventually I/we arrive somewhere. It's a house along a row of impressive houses with a typical local look with sandstone features. There's an open courtyard. Reminds me of Hei's place. Then I'm on foot and it seems to be on a hill/cliff, overlooking a semi-populated area. That girl from before is now sitting on a bench here, naked? She gets up and walks toward a ledge wall and I walk up close. Then, looking down from over the low-ish wall, I see a baby cat trying to climb a tree from lower down to get to us.

Fragment:

At a beach place, overcast day. There's a big bridge over this bit, really high up. Some rocks at the base of one of the support pillars. It's like a highway overpass? There's writing in Arabic and maybe Hebrew, but also a third language which glyphs I don't recognise or recall.

---

Notes:

- I remember the dispute between the two guys was interesting to watch. Looking back at it now, it seems like it was some kind of metaphor for internal debate and the fact that many of the other vague dream characters left with the angry guy kind of reinforces this idea for me.
- The mask slipping off on its own is something that I found was happening with some face coverings I tried to wear because of the virus situation. It doesn't happen at all with dust cover masks but this seemed to have slipped by me in the dream.
- The second fragment may have been because we recently re-watched Prince of Egypt, a film I didn't remember very well at all anymore.

3rd September 2020

Fragment:

Some garden, part of a big house. Remember being there with someone else but not sure who now; also there were some dream characters that were like old schoolmates? I remember the house vaguely, a bit like a manor and fancy glass? Gardens with low hedges.

Then I remember walking down a street, typical appearance of my native country, cobbled paths, a road in along the middle, walls painted a white colour. It was daytime, overcast? At a church entrance with my sibling T and at some point we're both waiting for dad, but eventually we go in I think. Dad had gone to a car garage?

The church was at the end of the street from before. The church was built out of big limestone blocks.

4th September 2020

Fragment:

End of dream, dark area, maybe night time. Sort of urban? There were buildings and maybe scaffolding, wooden planking. There was this wide open hall area but it was still dark or poorly lit and it lead into a more central chamber. Maybe there was a hole in the middle of that chamber? There was a very blue light coming from below and a boss of some kind. Felt like a mix of KF and WoW and the area seemed inspired by the Sceptre of God in PoE.

---

Notes:

- The church from the first fragment bears some resemblance to the church we used to go to as a family when I was younger.
- I'm thinking now that it's interesting that dreams don't often feature dad, but in this case the dream featured an absence of dad. In my childhood I often felt dad was a bit absent. Besides mom, T was probably who I spent most time with from the direct family.
- The blue light has made me curious. Blue lights often have a sort of recurring/stereotypical appearance in dark areas for me if I look back through dreams. There's usually an accompanying sense of mystery.

1st September 2020

Unrecorded time.

Dream:

Long and vivid but left it a while before I started to make notes though. Mostly bits from the end.

(recall gap)

Outside, something about planting a banana tree that grows massive. This took place outside my old home?

(rg)

I'm at a restaurant paying for a massively long bill? Amount due was over 300 in total, but it was for many people.

(rg)

In some place like the USA and something happened in this town I was in? Suddenly, loads of people were throwing their guns and grenades away because they were going off randomly on their own. Something about a stubborn woman. I tell her I'm not a super environmentalist but explain to her that some gum she chews and spits out onto the grass has antimonic acid. I explain to her that it's toxic to plant life and even to her. It's just that her body is so much bigger it ends up not mattering so much, by comparison.

(rg)

Some other part where I'm a "superhero" and some local guy and his partner are being dicks. Also they seem to have something against me, so I stop trying to be so nice at some point and resort to hitting one of them but then we go out into an open garden/yard/cloister thing inside a hospital and I call out to some sidekicks that will help me. Vague recall of us ganging up on them.

~8:30

Not actually sleeping. White albino Gecko visual, red eyes.

~9 or 10

Fragment:

In a dream there was this NATO thing me and H were visiting. A little bootcamp of some sort? There was an attached mini-mart place of sorts. We were going to watch some demonstration at this camp but we had to buy some CD for the specific day of the week since we hadn't done it beforehand. They were priced in pence for some reason. We wanted either a Tuesday or Wednesday CD and they were seven and ten pence, respectively. These were at a corner of the mart.

Someone at the camp explained to us that they could use a CD of the same day in the moment but they'd have to call Cambridge to make it work for whatever reason and the weather would have to be good too, otherwise it was apparently a waste of everyone's time.

In any case, we had a trolley and we got some 3L drinks like cola and there were massive versions of everything. Sliced bread loaves about two yards long, 1kg/2lb tins of beans. For some reason our trolley had loads of loose red kidney beans but we were apparently fine with this. I think H explained away my curiosity about all these oddities by telling me that the massive sizes of all these items were probably due to the fact they were aimed at soldiers.

Later in a room somewhere, H's dad's cat appears at a doorway. Initially I am incredulous but as I get a close look at his ear, it seemed like it really was him, forgetting to do a RC at the bizarre situation. The cat behaved and meowed the same way as it should if it was the right cat. I told H to look but by the time he did, the cat got on his shoulders and his fur was a fiery orange, so H didn't believe me about it being his dad's cat.

Then the fur changed back to black when H looked away and then the cat went away out another door on the left, H not looking again before the cat was gone.

---

Notes:

- At the time of this dream I hadn't really (at least consciously) heard of antimonic acid in any sense, so I read up about it online after this dream.
- Wanted to make other notes but feeling to sleepy and forgot what I wanted to make notes about.

30th August 2020

7:20

Dream:

Last part mostly. Not too interested in full recall. Was walking around somewhere with someone, an old schoolmate, maybe C? We're talking about buildings for some reason and then there's no transition but we're in "China" and I see Chinese soldiers in what looks to be a kind of ceremonial uniform.

Covid times in the dream. But nobody is wearing a mask, not even myself or who I'm with. We're at some exhibit building and it involves going down a long set of stairs underground. People don't seem to be respecting distancing rules and through all of this I'm getting casual contact with random people and I'm touching my face, for some reason. I become concerned, but feel that because there's nothing I can do now, I just carry on.

Eventually we leave back up the stairs. Even the soldier and the attendants don't care about distancing and contact, this bothers me on a very basic level. My dad then appears at some point and complains about it all.

Some transition and then Deus Ex themes and fighting Paul Denton, but I'm still myself? Before all of this, I remember roaming cobble pavements late at night?

I make note of the fact that it's the past, I just have this knowledge in the dream somehow, something like the 60s? Don't know exactly but some cars have unusual UV headlights or something, because everything that's got white on it lights up bright because of the UV headlights when cars go past sometimes. I distinctly remember old-styled cars and lorries.

There's a dog walker at some point while I'm walking along the pavements; we try to avoid each other and I'm on the grass.

---

Notes:
- There was a very loose and casual link, I think, between the Chinese soldiers and Deus Ex, since there are several levels in the game that take place in China. It was also a game that I played back when I knew C.
- Dad's appearance seems to just be a reflection of some of my own thoughts but besides that his behaviour was mostly as I might expect it to be.
- The covid themes in this dream I think were mostly part of a subconscious digestion of my own processing of certain situations in waking life.

More catching up.

29th August 2020

~9:00

Dream:

Playing TF2 as Demo, don't remember for which team. Had the pipe bomb launcher, an RPG-7 too, but looked like the HL1 launcher...

Later on in the dream, after a very slim win of the match, by kills score alone (would have been a draw otherwise), I am walking around with old classmates. Unusually, I feel tired in the dream. Then I think about covid, and how we aren't wearing any masks or anything. I remember a concrete building I'm in? Lots of staircases maybe. But well lit, overall, high ceilings too.

The place outside looks like L. I walked out of some lobby place? I start to feel uncomfortable being so close to everyone else (because of covid), but nobody else seems to care.

As we're going down some cobbled steps, I notice a uniforms shop. The stairs are very wide and go down quite a distance, but this seems typical of L. The logo reminds me of UPS, same colour scheme but not shape? I think to myself "I can buy a labcoat there, later", having some follow-up feelings about not wanting to have classmates around me for that. But unfortunately, despite my very clear dream sign thought, I didn't remember to do a RC, I think because I didn't see a visual cue of the DS advertised or on display at the shop.

(relating to the feelings) I remember thinking that I didn't want to go in now since my classmates were around and I'd feel embarrassed. But I also think about how the shop looks closed anyway. Cloudy day? But not overcast?

Then further down along the stairs or whatever, on the left, there's a pair of black and bearded/old vagabonds, one having a cane or long stick. I think I woke up after this while still going down the cobble steps of the stairway. I remember a (typical) long green railing in the middle, but I think this colour isn't used anymore actually.

At the bottom of all the steps was a road cornering from the left to straight ahead, in terms relative to my own position. Squareish building on the bend across the road? Maybe quay or dock area further along. Visual recall is too poor after over a week since the dream now.

~9:12?

Trying to fall asleep again as WBTB. Slideshow of 80s style VANS shoes advert? No visual recall of this anymore.

~10:40

Fragment:

Return to the first dream theme, was with old classmates again. Sausage rolls and other such typical pastries. No visual recall that I can gather.

---

Notes:
- Although I didn't realise it, I suppose there's a semi-direct link between uniforms and TF2. I thought it was curious that TF2 showed up in dreaming, since I haven't played it for years, though I have had passing thoughts of it recently.
- Covid didn't start featuring in my dreams at all until recently, but I'm not entirely sure why yet.
- The thoughts about my artificial DS would have been enough to prompt a RC in waking life.
- The appearance of one of the vagabonds (to my recall) makes me think of some vagabond in the Matrix? Or some other stereotype appearance.
- Old classmates have been reappearing a fair bit lately, it had become an uncommon DS for a while but seems to be getting common again. Need to re-think about significance for waking life purposes.

28th August 2020 DFLN

Fragment 8:30

Woke up unusually early (not needing to, at least) and from some kind of FA. I was in bed with H and I turned and there was a mantis/grasshopper thing on his pillow. I woke him up and alerted him to it.

Then I got up from bed as H was asking me to find his cheapo soldering iron to kill the bug with. It was skittering about and seemed smarter than an average bug. It was about the size of a ping-pong ball.

The bug then eventually appeared on top of the bed again and H tried to make it go away (by blowing at it?) and when he did, the soldering iron then just appeared (the red and white one) and he grabbed it and started whacking at the bug with it like a weird whip.

Semi-Lucid Fragment 9:30

In a strange (and even more) cluttered version of our home. I went downstairs to the kitchen, the tap was dripping (as it had been for a while) and I knocked my fist against it and a bunch of water splurted out.

I was then doing something but H was here and had to go, his dad was here to pick him up. I walk with them down some blue carpeted stairs? Awful railing/banister, far too high. There's some sunlight at some point, that I appreciate.

They leave and I come further down to close the front door, which is off its hinges. It's a big thick blue painted door made of actual wood, not exactly like our door actually is. Outside the doorway was a busy city street, like the capital of my native home.

Then as I'm faffing around with door, trying to get it back on its hinges, M (from MB) shows up. She's on a bike and so is her new boyfriend, which looks to be a bit of a nasty one, superficially.

She asks me how I'm doing and remarks I'm not looking so good. I notice that she's much thinner and she even mentions it herself. I congratulate her on her weight loss and give her a thumbs up as she cycles away, I think with a smile. Her mouth had been slavering like hell the whole time and her nose looked icky inside.

Then I'm slightly outside, still struggling with the door. But I realise I'm naked and think of going back in so the people in the street don't start staring at me. But then I say to myself "Hang on a minute, I'm naked, in a public street, with loads of people... But I'm dreaming." I become semi-lucid at this point and became increasingly aware of my real body, not managing to stay in the dream properly, especially as I started to become aroused for no reason, my real body just became too evident and so I just woke up

---

Notes:
- In the second dream, M's better outer appearance felt like a genuine message of self-improvement on her part, but now that I'm thinking about it, her icky nose/mouth context sort of suggests a rotten inside in some sense. In addition to that, she was together with a (seemingly) bad person, again.
- Oddly enough, I didn't remember the bit where she'd mentioned I wasn't looking so good but I don't remember feeling unwell in the dream.
- In the first fragment, I think I was naked, but there was nothing unusual about it since I'd just gotten out of bed in the FA; the bug would have been a good cue for a RC in that fragment.

26th August 2020 DFLN

Long dreams, poor recall because of noisy workers outside.

Fragment:

Remember being at my old best friends' house. His younger brother was there too, but was older?

I think I talked to my friend about my art. I thought about showing him some drawings, I remembered he used to draw a bit, including by tracing.

---

Notes:

- Back when we were actually friends, I considered tracing to be a "cheat", a notion I have dropped in recent years.

23rd August 2020: DFLN

24th August 2020 DFLN

Dream:

About classic WoW. On my gnome rogue, using a 100% riding horse. I'm in Winterspring? I fight some lions (but they don't look wintery/snowy like the local tigers should). In-line note: The night before this dream I had watched for the first time the trailer for the remake of Lion King, which I had heard of but not seen much about.

I'm Combat-specced, I think. There were other player characters nearby but I don't remember any interactions, mix of Horde and Alliance, I think. Then Hnk messages me as I'm going to the town, which is more realistic and I walk toward a little shop in one of the buildings.

Hnk was upset about guild recruiting. Some girl lied about something specific in the application to join? But apparently this was normal. I remember we messaged each other for a while, whilst I was still outside but in the middle of the town.

Then I'm in the shop. I remember eventually I stop making notice of the chat UI for a bit. The shop is like one of those little convenience stores where you buy newspapers, magazines and play lottos, etc. There's a lady who runs the shop, behind a counter. I just look around at first.

Something changes as I'm talking to Hnk via messages. Now, all of a sudden, the shop is full of "dirty" magazines. They are pretty much the only thing for sale here now, mostly featuring naked women with artificially bigger breasts. Most of them seem to be around my age. I find it all to be more distasteful than I normally would somehow. Then the lady at the counter complains to herself about how people keep going into the private areas at the back.

I sort of join in and comment that it's ridiculous, people should surely know not to go past the counter. The lady appreciates my understanding of her situation and then I approach and ask her about something. (What?) And then I remember that I was supposed to sort something out while I was here, but I forget what, so we both take guesses at what it could be, for a while. I remember closing my eyes and resting against the counter while I try to remember.

Eventually I "recall" that I needed to sort out some kind of prepayment card. For Hnk? But mom asked me to do it? The lady shows me a plastic plate/card with some information and I try to take a photo of it with my phone, which feels unusually big and unwieldy.

The dream ended shortly after, and there were other dreams but I couldn't recall them.

---

Notes:

- This dream features mixed parts of recent life (classic WoW) and parts of my late teens.
- In the dream, I vaguely recall having thoughts that although I found the magazines distasteful, they were this lady's business, so I made sure to not comment anything out loud about it to myself. This may be a partially direct message aimed at some part of me, using some role reversal as metaphor in the dream.
- The chat with Hnk was particularly long via whisper messages. I only wish I could have recalled more specific wordings or details.

- This dream felt nostalgic in a sense; WoW dreams are generally nostalgic anyway for me but they also tend to be novel, featuring adventures unique to myself and often in alternate versions of game locations or completely new areas. But the shop was reminiscent of when I would go to such shops to play the lottery in my late teens and I often did notice there were these types of lewd magazines at those shops; as I got older I felt like it became more common but maybe this was just a shift of my own perspective. Because of this, in a way, the dream felt nostalgic of how things were before everything started to feel sexualised in some sense.