• Lucid Dreaming - Dream Views




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    DarkestDarkness

    Last edited 10/02/2021

    These days I tend to write mostly on my phone's DJ initially but I tend to go through periods where I alternate where I'm DJing.




    I am writing the dreams almost as I would if I were writing only to myself. The only exception is that in this DJ I only name people by their initials at most or a nickname's initial, unless it's relevant to the dream context, since I still like the dreams to be understood/readable by anyone; even if you don't know who my friends are or people I know by name, I still want you to understand the immediate contexts as much as possible.

    Comments on the DJ are welcome. See my dream signs in the general notes under my profile avatar on the sidebar. Note, I don't update the dream signs section very much anymore. Over the last two or three years I've come to realise that some symbols are quite constant but many change too much or are just variations off a theme, so it has stopped making quite as much sense to keep a long-term list of what the signs are.

    Click to see all DJ entries with images that I made for them

    Click to see all DJ entries that may involve dream-like experiences but are not technically dreams

    I don't often make images for dreams because I've usually forgotten most of the details I wanted to depict.


    1. clxxxiii. Ancient lottery machine, Desert war site

      by , 10-22-2020 at 12:47 AM
      19th October 2020

      Fragment:

      I was helping H. There was some kind of old lottery machine thing which we'd salvaged, but it had stops like an organ, almost 100 of them even though only about 50 were required. (Think that was dream intuitive knowledge)

      But as H put in a dowel thing for a stop, a wasp came out (but not really, it looked like a midge) and it bit or stung him. I suggested they might all be infested and we might be better off making all of them ourselves (the stops I think) but I think H found this to be frustrating.



      20th October 2020

      Dream:

      I was in Syria, Egypt or a country near these. I was at a USA military camp. Not sure how I got there in the dream but I remember it was in a valley. From the camp I could see in the distance steep, dusty, rocky mountain peaks. Toward one direction was a city of some kind on a sloped area.

      It looked more like ruins or slums and I could see flags. They were black with white Arabic script on them, but also a stylised animal trailing off the script too. This area looked vast.

      In the camp, I remember hearing some soldiers saying that all new troops coming in were being parachuted instead of coming in a ground march. Apparently it'd been this way since some incident with one soldier (there was a name but can't recall) where he'd been surrounded and ganged up on (by whom?).

      There was a female soldier sitting and listening. She had fake blonde hair tied up in a short pony tail. She looked worried and I realised on some level she was thinking of what I'd already thought of. If this place was a valley and the camp was surrounded by mountains and refugee camps and ruins, how would all the soldiers return home?

      (recall gap)

      Inside some hospital. Looks normal/clean. Similar in some sense to the one in the town where I live now. Again, somewhat vast inside. There's some kind of fighting going on but it seems like it's day-to-day business here. The fighting was happening on some other level, a basement? And there was some kind of mini plot about someone being injured and having to be carried away stealthily because he wasn't local.

      (recall gap)

      Commanders or captains. Some discussion about charging some kind of portal in a low basement level. Something about hearing reports of the portal's destination being in the Earth's core and really hot, rocky, red and black and also impossibly flat. Some soldiers openly said they didn't want to go or something.

      (recall gap)

      Inside some place, still the hospital I think. Mostly sitting on the floor? By a window, it's like a cafe or something this part. Someone tells me about being able to buy things. There are items along the sill and the prices are displayed on folded pieces of card/paper like mini billboard things. Some items were puddings and others were weapons and just random crap in general.

      I remember wanting some kind of dried out mousse thing, it cost 1.50. It was chocolate-y in taste and looked slightly purple but at first it just looked like a candle. (mom used to have some purple candles that smelled nice, only remembering this now)

      (recall gap)

      In the downstairs place. But looked like a warehouse area with certain bits having skylights or something. There were robots and now I had some kind of level-up system and there was another system that meant I could get upgrades from scavenged parts from the robots. I remember trying to create a new fully fledged robot. They were all about 3-6m tall.



      Notes:

      - The second dream was odd. The theme of war hasn't really appeared so directly or about a real context so clearly very much in the past. The dream setting and environment all had a very genuine feel to it. There was a certain amount of thematic consistency to the dream plots, for the most part.
      - The black flags with white script seem to remind me of certain terrorist/rebel groups in waking life, but in the dream they were just the flag of the nation of this place. I think the animal on the flag was a lion. The American army seemed to be there mostly to provide some sort of logistical support to the ruined city/region. But obviously there was still some kind of animosity and fighting going on, but I remember no mention of who "the enemy" actually was.

      - In the hospital I didn't note anyone wearing any medical equipment or the like.
    2. clxxxii. Taking food from someone's place, Legion-slaying children

      by , 10-22-2020 at 12:21 AM
      18th October 2020

      Dream:

      In my home town. Remember going up to some hilly areas that don't quite exist. A gravelled area by the main roundabout in town too.

      Then I'm with H and we go into this little house with a frosted glass door. But it also looks a bit shop-like inside. There's a fridge or something and we just start taking food from several places in here, this fridge included and putting all the food into bags (backpacks? refuse bags? not sure anymore). I think it's day time but in here it's mainly artificial light, daylight is only noticeable on the street outside. As I look to the glass door I see the silhouettes of an adult and a child and the door opens. It's the owner, I immediately realise.

      He gets upset because we're apparently robbing him. But because this is a shop, I do immediately tell him that we will pay for everything we are taking. But he doesn't care and says he'll call and report us to the police. I make some kind of snide remark (about it being pointless?).

      But then I end up trying to convince him more gently that we didn't mean to cause trouble or distress. He still doesn't care and refutes every single thing I try to say. Eventually he tells us he's 18. I feel some surprise at this, as I thought he looked much older than that (mid 30s/40s), especially since he had a son with him. But suddenly I understand why he'd been refuting everything; I remember and have a feeling of how I was at that age.

      Eventually, we leave through the back of the house I think. I've forgotten whatever else had happened in the conversation, unfortunately.

      Fragment:


      Not sure where exactly, in a flat area in a town. Surfaced or paved. Meeting up with some kids, they tell me how they defeated a legion of monsters, or orcs? Something about the kids didn't feel human, exactly, but I'm not sure why or how.



      Notes:

      - I think H was mostly passive in the first dream.
    3. clxxxi. Lizard form and strength, Introspection

      by , 10-17-2020 at 11:13 PM
      17th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Remember being my lizard form at some point and also for quite a while. Earlier in the dream I was offered a choice (by whom or what?) to have either nearly unlimited strength or nearly unlimited stamina. I picked strength.

      I remember flying through several somewhat surreal places with hybrid dragon wings that would appear and disappear.

      At one point, I'm in a sandy beach area and there are wasps or bees and I stamp on them, concerned for a second about what I was doing, but then remembering I had nothing to fear. This was pre-lucid, I had some awareness of being dreaming.

      In some other part, I'm destroying the outer structure of a concrete sky scraper and I'm eating or biting on people as they fall from the building. The building itself is falling and we are miles up in the air, impossibly high away from any other buildings. (Reminds me of UT levels)

      Rest of recall is muddled. Was awake for a while and forgot to try and retain recall properly.



      Notes:

      - The part of me that convinced me to fear nothing was the same that has come about unconsciously before. I have started to feel a much more direct connection to these parts of myself over the last months; these are the parts of me that do not actively speak through my mind except seemingly under rare circumstances such as in the visualisations I've done/experienced. These are parts of myself that I've had some sort of tacit awareness of for quite a long time but that previously I wasn't able to consciously "put my finger on". In more physical terms, the less conscious parts feel like something inside at the back of my head, but maybe this is some association I have created by accident.

      - I have absolutely no recall anymore about how the choice of "strength vs stamina" was offered to me, but I feel it was some sort of interface. I do seem to remember that in the dream my reasoning was that if I had unlimited stamina, it wouldn't necessarily allow me to do everything that I wanted to do. I think my experience of being weak when I was younger had some influence on this too. Lately there's been a fair bit of "processing" of some of my childhood, such as those instances recently where I was actually younger in my dreams.

      - Flight and flying by own means hasn't really ever been of any special interest to me in dreams but I think the experience with wings was novel enough for me to enjoy it, though I still prefer it when flight in dreams happens by use of a jet or space ship.
    4. clxxx. Ship salvaging, Desert chase, Birth, Eclipsed Sun

      by , 10-17-2020 at 10:56 PM
      Some in-line notes.




      15th October 2020


      Fragment:

      In a space hangar of some sort. Hundreds of ships, they look like haulers from NMS. I have a contract or something and I have to salvage/loot some specific ships in the middle of all of these. There's some kind of dispute with someone else who's on the contract too?

      Earlier. Something about a woman my age. She shows someone, maybe one of my siblings, around her apartment. She offers them food and she has a mini-golf course inside the apartment. The person she's showing around doesn't seem interested, but they tell her that I might be interested, and this person goes out to find me or something.



      16th October 2020

      7:20

      Fragment:


      In a desert area. There are small towns. I was mostly here in some sort of observing role at first (but physically present?) but then I selected some kind of player faction like in an RTS game and I spawned in a pickup truck of some kind with a crew. We had to kill an American protagonist but we had to be careful. I needed to have resources gathered in order to build an anti-tank... tank.

      But instead, we just got involved in a chase where the protagonist person was in a humvee or something, chasing after an Arab guy. I tried to catch up to the Arab too but he was just too fast for all of us.

      Before all this, there was some other RTS segment. Defeated an enemy faction at the very last second before nearly being defeated myself. The objective was simply to destroy a core building in each others bases. Mix of Mech Commander and Supreme Commander. Remember dual-gun tanks like some of the T3 UEF.

      Earlier. Some bit in a town, being told about where I was born apparently. A black mother had given birth to me at a bench on a street and I remember a distinct visual effect like the retribution aura from WoW around me, which was apparently normal for people being born here but unusual everywhere else. But some old white man found me after the mother had seemingly abandoned me and he thought the aura was beautiful and he took me in, adoptively.

      10:00

      Fragment:


      A church. I forget most of it now but there was an upper area with a room meant for meditation and yoga. This church was built out of limestone I think, more like the churches around where I grew up, but the architectural style seemed more like those of where I live now.

      I remember there were notices on paper sheets taped to walls. There were lit candles and some other people were about.

      (gap or transition)

      In the same church still, but underground. A short cinematic view of this big white man, with a buzzcut-style hair and beard; he was working a forge with a metal forging spoon... ladle, thing. Like a cast iron cup. He would make gold items for the church, made from other gold items that were considered scrap, which he'd smelted before-hand.

      I remember then being physically there next to him and watching him work and H telling me that gold's melting point was 1142 or so, but I seemed to remember it being 1400, but then thought maybe that was aluminium.

      Fragment (DFLN):

      In my home town. Walking along a road or its pavement towards the roundabout. The church wasn't built yet. Buildings were in the wrong places. The sky was pitch black and it was night time, pretty much. But in the sky the sun was there, black and hollow, "an eclipse" I heard someone nearby comment. Looked like in DS3.

      (As I wrote the initial notes for this, I started my pc and noticed that the background image I made has an eclipsed sun exactly like the one from the dream.)

      I got to an area that looked like my old friend D's building. At this point I was still looking at the sky. The sun now looked like a cracked planet with lava flowing.
    5. clxxix. Protecting a minister and film called "The End"

      by , 10-13-2020 at 06:36 PM
      12th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Somewhere in China. I was helping some kind of cabinet minister or something. I think I was his bodyguard and for some part of the dream we were in a silver car; the minister was the driver.

      I was constantly on the lookout for potential threats. Vague recall of having a weapon. I remember an underground area, a mix of some metro station I know (grey, dingy) and an underground car park or something.

      Most recall faded, but by the end of this dream sequence I was in a kind of transition where I was in my native country, in the capital or somewhere like it and near the water. On one of the quays? Something about catching a train.

      Some family members were there and I was trying to be the last one to get on the train to make sure nobody got separated. T and her sister were there.

      Not sure what part of the dream, but at some point I was selling guns, shotguns?

      13th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Dream about a film, called "The End", which was apparently the first in a series. There's a group of four people and they have to stop the four horsemen at the breaking of the last seal. There's some narrating? Not sure: "But what if one of the people, the wizard, didn't make it on time? What would you do?"

      This bit seems to be a replay of a previous dream section but with altered details. Vague visual recall of seeing the last seal break, implying the group failed.

      Before this, I was a child or teenager. I saw my reflection, of my younger self, on a metal blade of some kind.

      I had inherited a large wooden instrument from some African music player. I recall now the instrument looked exactly like a wooden organ pipe, but with tribal decorative patterns painted on it. (recently made a joke to H about one of these sounding like a didgeridoo)

      It was apparently up to me to find someone who would take on this instruments legacy, or I could take it on myself.

      I remember while I was younger I had to train weapon skills (vague recall of panel like classic WoW skills) and I was going to be training my unarmed skill, so I was going to spar with someone my age.

      Something about needing saturated fat first though, and eating some cereal rich in it and other stuff.

      There was a barge too... Maybe we were on it? Recall faded too much.

      Even earlier than this in the dream, dad and I in the middle of a city, like the capital. He'd left his car in a lane and we were on the pavement talking, but I get the feeling he'd left the car open, like he/we were getting back in soon.



      Notes:

      - I never used to have dreams about my younger self. But it seems they are starting to appear more often. I have an inkling as to why but I can't be certain and it's a bit complex.

      Too tired at the moment to make other notes on some stuff. Need to remember to edit this later.
    6. clxxviii. Eggs in the fridge, Family gathering at a mall, Casino, Bone dragon hunt and twin sister

      by , 10-10-2020 at 01:04 PM
      9th October 2020

      Scraps:


      Something about eggs and cooking or baking with them. Remember looking in the fridge and either taking or leaving four eggs. (this felt quite accurate to how the kitchen area actually looks and feels in waking life)

      There was a long dream but I left it too long and the recall faded.

      10th October 2020

      9:00

      Fragment:

      Was in some mountains. That place I had built on creative had appeared, the mountain area. I remember being of unproportional scale and trying to cover it to prevent someone else from seeing it? Something about lewd stuff being in there?

      L and S and talking. Then in a mall, aunt I was also there. Something about a mini sand castle building kit? This is back in my old home area. Vague discussion with the three of them about people and how people had lost their jobs with the pandemic. I remark on how society has set itself up for failure. My point seems understood, but not accepted, by the others.

      Scraps:

      (still the previous fragment's dream) Roaming the town, looked like the capital. Some guy from a group or gang? In a jeep or SUV with them and my old friend JC from school. I go somewhere with them. I'm riding with them in the back but my position seems elevated. A casino. Discussing the level of peoples' intelligence. A powerful and rich woman owns this casino. I remember she wore a pearl coloured dress. She makes offerings out of kindness; food or currency? Not sure.

      10:15

      Fragment:

      Some fantasy realm. I am a female character near the end of the dream and fight a bone dragon. I trick it with a fake hostage and it hesitates, I think it was a child cooperating with me. Then I trap the dragon with a vine plant of some kind (the word heron came to mind as I wrote the notes) and I start cutting the dragon's sinew and bone methodically, using a long slicing sword.

      Before I am done, it starts to glitch or something and disappears. Then I climb up or use a platform elevator of some kind and there's another female character. She's my twin sister. She has a vivid red silk dress with gold trim, and I have a silk vivid green dress with a similar gold trim. The coloured areas have a subtle patterning but in the dream the dresses appear more western than I expect for their style.

      She had been the dragon all along and thanks me for releasing her. She tells me about how I'd set up traps in advance and other things and comments on these things. But I don't remember any of it and start to come to the conclusion I'd made myself forget for some reason. Before I could dwell on it, we jump down to the stone courtyard where the fight had occurred, and we're about to go somewhere together, but the dream ends soon after. This area had a tinting like a bathing of sunset and I remember godrays and distant castles and such-like fantasy style structures.



      Notes:
      - The castle areas in the last fragment remind me of Lothric from Dark Souls III, but with a more cheery look.
      - It's been a very long time since I thought about bone dragons, and it's probably the first time one has appeared in a dream.
      - The woman at the casino seemed to look like a pin-up model or just had a general style of 50s/60s to her. I think she was blonde, which matched her pearl dress.
      - There were a lot of dresses featured in these dreams, compared to normal (which tends to be 0).
      - It's not the first time I was a female character, but it's not too common either. It felt as though the character was just me though, and not that I was in a role of some kind.

      Updated 10-10-2020 at 03:31 PM by 95293

      Categories
      non-lucid , dream fragment , side notes
    7. clxxvii. Unlikely weapon stats, evading hostiles and travelling through space

      by , 10-10-2020 at 12:46 PM
      8th October 2020

      Fragment:


      In space, it looks like Freelancer, kind of. (Like most of my recent Freelancer themed dreams, the scale looked vast and more realistic)

      First I launched from a planet in a system completely filled by a nebula, like Omicron Beta, but not. The star looked dimmed through the clouds as it would in the actual game. I had a complex reputation standing with the factions so when some ships from a hostile faction appeared out of a trade lane, some friendlies immediately started turning red. Soon the whole system was after me and I tried to evade them in the usual ways. There was Rheinland navy in this system.

      I got to a wormhole? Then I'm in a different system. A Sigma type system. There was a large yellow star and some distant planets beyond it, as well as small nebulae and asteroid fields. The background itself was a light blue-grey nebula, but I don't remember the shape of it.

      I can't recall what my ship was like but I was using turret mode at some point to look around while cruising. I used a trade lane eventually but interrupted travel through it, halfway, and then veered off toward a darker area of the system behind an asteroid field. There were TIE fighters? I scanned the ships and saw the weapons were class 3, but somehow had a hull damage stat of around 3.4k. Their lasers were blue and the lasers themselves were classed as pulse-laser guns. I remember going toward a capital ship of some kind and landing on it.

      I got in a control room and remember taking some black gloves, they felt slightly heavy? Thoughts about Darth Vader and his armour. Then some crew landed on the capital ship and got to me and started attacking. An officer of some kind told me I only had a few seconds to live?

      Fragment:

      Reality mixed in with BL. A portal to my place was used or being opened. It was Ar, who had the form of that gecko pokemon, whatever its name is, with a mostly black and red colour scheme.

      Remember talking to him and telling him about the rooms in this in-game place. But I think I was wanting to move my base or something. At some other point some random furries appeared?



      Notes:
      - The unlikely weapon stats for a class 3 weapon could have been a good dream sign/dream indicator but I feel this came about from recently thinking about some of the bigger mods for the game, like TNG.
    8. clxxvi. Leading ghouls and having base destroyed, Facing an ettin and dying; reincarnation

      by , 10-10-2020 at 12:25 PM
      5th October 2020

      Fragment:

      Dream about Warcraft 3 and some special game mode where you would get cash injections every so often, instead of being able to mine gold. You also started out with a single worker.

      I think I was playing this with my siblings, but it was mixed in with reality and the locations were based on my old town?

      I was playing as Undead and got some groups of ghouls going after having made some basic buildings (a ziggurat or two and a necropolis?). I went out from the base, leading the ghouls, mix of myself and a hero unit. At some point while away from the base, another player showed up at the base and destroyed mostly everything. I remember trying to get the acolyte worker away.

      7th October 2020

      Scraps/bulletpoints:

      - Bit in a dark hallway. Expected Diablo to be at the end. Instead there was an ettin. There were other creatures on the way there. Died at the end.
      - Reincarnated? Somewhere else after that.
      - BL items with modified look.
      - Going around with a group of other people who were also reincarnates, I am surprised about having memories of my past life (direct memory of the previous dream sections). In the dream, I think of posting about this on DV.
      - At the end of the dream, something about a group masturbation event with the rest of the reincarnates? We were surrounding a naked black man who was in his room. He was posing for us.
    9. clxxv. Erotic comic, Item of value, Family interruptions, Learning about driving

      by , 10-04-2020 at 07:29 PM
      4th October 2020

      8:45?

      Fragment:

      In one part of this dream I had gone to a computer like mine (but was it mine?) and in the dream's context I'd previously downloaded a comic of sorts, about a giant elf lady who allowed herself to be pleasured by an also rather large but sentient spider (i.e. of the same level of intelligence). The comic was incredibly detailed but it wasn't tending towards hyper-realism or anything; initially I was very apprehensive as I thought my arachnophobia might come back (because of the spider's details) but I ended up liking the comic and the high level of detail. The backgrounds seemed simple or mostly abstract, colour gradients?

      The comic apparently had 68 pages, but each page was effectively a single comic tile/strip and many of them only showed small or incremental changes from the previously shown scenes. The spider was a night blue or black colour? Orb weaver type.

      Before this, T and I had been talking? But after looking at the comic for a while, I became aware of T's presence by my left side at this desk I was apparently sat at. I felt embarrassed and didn't like the idea that he'd basically been watching me look at this comic, when I thought I was alone. But he made no comment about it and I didn't bring it up myself.

      I remember a beautiful pine forest before all of this. Distant and snowy mountains and a river close by. Think I was walking by its sandy bank. There was some surreal element to the area, like the area was an unnatural overhanging cliff? But I think the forest was part of what prompted the comic segment.

      Fragment:


      I was some woman for a short bit or playing a game as this woman? But things looked realistic and I remember no HUD. I was in a third-person mode and there was something about setting a record and using motorcycles to do so. A giant plasma orb and some controller for it. I remember going up a ramp in a city area. There was a very wide river? Reminds me of some cities in the USA.

      At the end of this dream segment I had taken something which was really important. Some sinister and some natural higher powers all wanted whatever this was. I remember someone mentioning Aether beings like those of Minecraft:Aether. They also said something about those beings supposedly being more deserving of this thing I'd taken. There was a feel of being like Frodo or Bilbo, having something as highly sought after as the one ring.

      10-11:00?


      Fragment:


      In an altered version of my old home. I was trying to get to my computer in my bedroom. Emphasis on trying because interruptions kept happening. I felt some kind of compelling to look at that comic again. But this time I couldn't even get to the computer, T kept trying to talk to me or something. Then I lost him somehow and got in my room. I was about to shut the door but saw mom away in the distance; the house felt bigger and more... diagonal. But I hesitated; I tried turning on the light for my room but it wasn't working. I don't think it was night time, but it was dark in there.

      For some reason the hall's light was stopping my room's light from working, as I found that if that one went off, my room's light would work. But then T appeared again.

      (recall gap)

      Then, out in the night in my old town. There seems to be less street lighting than I'd expect. I'm at a car park near our home and walking towards a car, but can't recall the look of it. Something about getting in and then mom was there, wanting to teach me to drive.

      I get in the driver seat? But it's on the "wrong" side. Then dad turns up as I'm about to get going/started and I somehow am at the back of the car now, with dad having taken over. Then some third-person view sort of top-down, chasing the car while some kind of crazy manoeuvring is happening and the car is avoiding other cars using the road normally.

      Fragment:

      In the sky, kind of? Maybe this was in sequence of the old bedroom part, but I remember there are some very thin but incredibly solid platforms, nothing sways and I don't notice the absence of wind. I just remember seeing sky and clouds, even when looking downwards. It was sunny and I walked down some steps, at a quick pace? I had some sort of objective or goal.

      Fragment:

      In a back garden. A house that's mine and H's? There was a messy grassy garden, unkept. The grass looks yellowed or dry in parts and there are many tufts. There's a hole in the ground and on some level I remember that it could be a wasp nest like H had recently told me about and indeed some wasps do come out of the hole, but I run past and over the hole. Vague recall of the grass/ground being soft, like it's ankle deep.

      Fragment:

      Either H or T, stroking a cat (using the foot). I'm more at ground level, like the cat. Can't recall if it's black or white, but think white. But the cat gets up a little and hisses at him, but doesn't seem to care about me.



      Notes:

      - I don't remember looking through all the pages of the comic, but do remember seeing about 20 different strips, albeit many were only of small alterations conveying motion. I have some vague recall of text but I don't remember any text bubbles or anything.

      - Although I watched LOTR a long time ago, I did watch the Hobbit recently.
      -- The theme of a valuable object being sought-after by powerful entities has recently occurred in another dream.

      - Although mom did use to drive, by the time I was around she didn't drive anymore because of some experiences she had.
      -- Mom was a teacher for a lot of her life, so it seems somewhat fitting that she would try teaching me even if she hadn't driven at all, even once, since I've lived.

      - There were a lot of themes both about my family and about my old home in these dreams.
      -- I had a slight introspection not too much later after waking, about this. The interaction between my "self" and the voice from my last lucid has made me wonder about the metaphorical meanings, as I have always had issues with family interrupting things or generally being nosey about things I'd rather they weren't nosey about, but this is only compounded worse by the fact that I wasn't able to have "space to myself" in a sense, when I was much younger, many of my dreams during my youth seemingly often having an aspect of wanting to be separate from my family, at times; at least to be able to explore certain things by myself.
      -- The interruptions by T were something of a recurring theme during waking life, especially in regards to not talking about something that I may have felt was awkward or sordid. But in our childhoods we were very close.
    10. clxxiv.

      by , 10-03-2020 at 01:50 AM
      2nd October 2020

      Scraps:

      (Forgot most of the dreams but remember having a few long ones. Morning routine didn't really allow for making early notes.)

      Some bit where I was in a stairwell of some kind. It was a modern-looking place but the steps themselves were like that part in the Hobbit film (which I watched recently) where Gandalf is investigating the ancient tombs. I remember using the strange spirally square stairwell but feeling wary about falling since there were no railings or anything. Someone else was there with me? It was a brightly lit stairwell and I think the steps themselves were a bright red or red-orange colour.

      Some part in space, vague memory of being similar to Freelancer, and a nebulae background. Something about T and some interactions between us? Discussing a game maybe?
    11. clxxiii. Useless throttle, Art-cluttered room, Apocalypse

      by , 10-01-2020 at 10:06 PM
      1st October 2020

      Dream:

      In the van with H. For some reason, some part stopped transmitting power (to or from the engine). The drive shaft? Not sure, but it was still rolling and the engine itself was still going. But the van was only rolling (uphill, somehow) and couldn't accelerate, the throttle did nothing. We were rolling at about 40 in the middle of a town. H put on some hazard lights and other things and steered gently into a side bit stopped the van.

      Then something about a vest he had to put on and I was attaching some untinged leather straps to velcro bits? Two other people were here and we were talking to them. They were the ones that told H to put the vest on?

      One of these people was an artist and I don't remember what was said exactly, but I turned around at some point and now faced an alcove-type bit and all my paintings were there. I remember mentioning that there really weren't that many (I felt) but this small room still looked cluttered by them.

      Dream:

      Not sure how it started but some random character was the centre of it all now and there was this "ending of the world" thing going on. Some brightly coloured spheres went up in the air and then different things started happening but I forgot the details. I do remember some people and all their stuff, inside their houses, would get sucked/warped through reality into some kind of dimensional containers. I remember having a feel as if I could control some of what was going on, through a console? But otherwise I was not directly present or involved.

      Then some other part after it's all over. There's two anthropomorphic mice and they are wearing motorcycle-gang type leather outfits. They are talking to each other and one of them has a coin about half his size. It's supposedly a 30 cent coin from the USA but he mentions it would be worth several hundred now after everything that had happened. The coin was shiny. There was a filmic or cartoony characteristic to this scene, but I think it otherwise looked realistic.

      At some other bit in the middle of a ruined city. I feel more present in this section. I think something about how things didn't need to have turned out like this. I think to myself that if people had been more sensible, even with what was happening, there would be more to return to, or something to this effect. Neo or someone like him is here. He has a mobile phone and there are other people and there's now some kind of stigma (that I intuitively know about in the dream) about using this "old" technology and I remember a travelling section of the dream through or over the ruined city where nobody has guns or advanced technology but are all using improvised clubs.

      But this Neo character talks to someone using this mobile phone and the nearby characters get angry at him. He tries to be quick about it and tries to lose their attention? But the dream ends shortly after this I think.



      Notes:

      - I think the two mice were probably a reference to Biker Mice from Mars, a show which I did watch a bit of but not a lot, my siblings had watched more of it, I think. But I haven't really thought about it in years.
      - My previous entry also featured motorcycles.
      - It's possible that it's just imaginative leaking from daily life, as a few times we've been going past signs that mention motorcycle accidents.
      - The transmission/power issue with the van was probably related to a discussion I had this week with H in the van, in waking life.
      - The second dream was particularly long, but I lost many details on waking, in part because of motivation issues though.
    12. clxxii. Visit to museum with family, Motorcycle gang, Old mansion/hall

      by , 10-01-2020 at 09:44 PM
      30th September 2020

      Dream:

      With my family, visiting some fancy historical complex in America. It's on an overlook type area, atop a generally hilly area. Don't remember the surroundings much.

      Mom, dad and T are the family I'm with. I remember we walked into a room with a long curved glass separating the room from a display area. There are highlights from the top and behind the glass is a natural-looking and rocky display, but the main feature is a plaque attached to a rock? We sit down on some of those museum-type sofas and there's a female voice talking about this plaque and/or the display.

      Outside, going away from the compound area.

      (recall gap)

      Then something about a motorcycle gang? And two of its members are causing havoc along a road, in some way that I don't recall. I'm a policeman and have a motorcycle of some kind myself, chasing them through roads and rice fields, where people are working.

      (recall gap)

      Then in a shower. It's in some old place's bathroom. The shower is a walk-in type, with no frame at all, being only a white plinth. It's centred against a wall of this bathroom, which is quite large. I remember old and darkly stained wood, either in the bathroom or outside of it. Cerulean-blue tiles?

      While I'm in this shower, bits of crap start coming off the back of where a silicon seal should be. Some bugs and a small horned beetle crawl out. (The word kabuto comes into mind as I write this out)

      Then I get out and someone else is around. Not sure who, but they find a small clam shell of sorts and put it in front of this beetle. It gets in the shell and wears it like armour or something, the other person remarking on this fact. Then nearby is a crab and this other person disturbs it and it crawls away? But the crab is also in a strange sea shell of some kind.

      (recall gap)

      Vague recall of roaming some mezzanine area and old halls of the place with the bathroom. A bedroom too?



      Notes:

      - Shortly after writing out this dream and getting some things ready for the day, I found a beetle on the hoodie that I was going to wear.
      - The whole dream was continuous but the threshold/transition moments seem to have mostly been lost on waking.
    13. clxxi. The "Mu" note

      by , 09-29-2020 at 05:26 PM
      Was unable to motivate myself to write initial notes but initial recall was good.

      29th September 2020

      Scraps:

      Something about H. H found something that in the dream was called the 14th note? Some kind of mysterious and forgotten-about musical note or tone. This 14th note was dubbed "Mu".



      Notes:

      - I recently watched a film called Valerian, by the same person that made The Fifth Element. On Valerian there was a planet Mul. Somehow the topics seem related, this "Mu" note being a musical fifth element of some sort.
    14. clxx. A quest for soup

      by , 09-29-2020 at 05:21 PM
      I thought I was missing a dream... It seems I skipped an older DJ entry by accident...

      12th August 2020

      8:30

      Dream:

      (points) Something about furry art. A kitchen, on-board a boat. Fancied two girls who were aboard. They were flirty? But they didn't know about one another.

      I was in some open restaurant area. I wanted soup from some famous female cook? I remember running in my home town. It was busy. I saw a motorised unicycle of some kind with a white paint job; I thought it looked kind of cool and I thought about how someday it would look out of place, outdated and silly. It was night time and I had to sprint my best (didn't feel dream slowness too much) to get to a harbour that was where the exit ramp out of town should be. From there, this cruise ship was leaving and I knew this because of its horn which I heard while running. I didn't want to miss it.

      I got to the loading ramp just as it was leaving and made a jump for it. It was a bare miss from my mark, plunging into water and grabbing onto a rear steering fin.

      From there I thought of calling someone (JC?, but the character or my old friend?) on the ship to bring me a rope. Then thought of just using a teleport command instead. No, instead I decided I could do this by myself and balanced on top of the steering fin and despite the water and speed, jumped forward and got on the deck.

      I got in through some doorway, watching my head. Passing thought of "so what if I fancy both of them?". I go down some steep metal or wood steps and I see her, one of these girls whom I apparently fancied. She was taking off some clothes in order to get changed. She had red briefs, a blood red colour.

      I remember we both smiled at each other but didn't speak. I had the awareness of having a glazed clay bowl in my hand and wanting some soup. There was a kitchen ahead through another bulkhead doorway. When I got inside the kitchen, there were two aggressive dream characters sort of accosting me. I forget who they were or looked like, but they were like pirates?

      Insistently I told them I would pay them to be left alone while I was in here. They thought I had nothing of value (mocked me?) and I remember scrounging through my pocket. Dozens of coins, I shove them at the two "pirates", the coins aren't nearly as valuable as I'd first expected however. I keep looking through my pockets. A stone? No, an ore nugget of sorts. It feels rough and I give it to them. It was a nugget of gold, but in reality the feel of it was more like a piece of pyrite ore like one I have in waking life.

      But I still decided this wasn't enough and somehow gave them something else but I don't remember what it was. They are now dumbfounded and agree to my terms now. Their aggression goes away, pretty much, and now I walk around the kitchen and see a very orange-y styled chest freezer, with pictures of garfield on it. I assume this is some BL ice cream thing A started.

      I remember going near a counter at the end of a queue bit, effectively bypassing said queue. But I felt as though I'd earned it with my payments to the "pirates". I still want that soup, but I can't or don't manage to find any?

      The next thing I remember, a black chef is getting fired and complaining that he was in a good mood and the head chef ruined it all and so on. I remember very shortly after, reading a review online that this chef left about the restaurant, saying very poor things about the crew or something. I feel that it's in bad taste (but feel some sympathy). Then I'm in an upper deck. Mix of a train and airplane aisle? Windows to the outside. It's day-time and some people are sitting in this cabin-like bit by the windows. A white girl says "I was pinning (some artist)", referring to how she was subscribing to this artist on some platform called "pin.it"?

      We're talking about furry artists, apparently. She mentions she feels embarrassed for talking about it out loud. A big black man sitting next to her, gives her some reassurance and tells her he actually had some interest in that same artist too.

      I forget what else happened, a lot of detail is absent from this DJ entry overall but I had a lot more recall of the dream initially.

      Some other bit about a base, partially in space? With technical-looking game block tiles and an ancient Egyptian ruin? Some overlap with the pirates somehow...



      Original note:

      - On waking I could smell the curry I'd left on a timer to start cooking at 7AM. The cookery related part of the dream may well have stemmed from that and from all the preparation I'd done for it last night. I also made a dessert, leaving the curry, the main course, to effectively cook overnight. In the dream, I was looking for a soup, which to me is traditionally a starting course.

      Added notes:

      - Quite likely the search for the soup was both a metaphor and a more literal desire at the same time. In the literal sense, a true full meal, to me, should include a starter such as a small soup, a main course, with meat or fish, and a dessert course, such as a sweet pudding of some kind and the meal we would be having the day of the dream would be missing this starter course. In the less literal sense, this food-related dream-plot goes back to old roots and to what I was used to having at meal times for a large part of my early life, so it seems somewhat nostalgic in a sense. I could extrapolate more meaning from this but these are the two most immediately relevant meanings to me.

      - The more carnal aspects about relationships on this dream maybe just came about as a coincidence with the food plot, since food and sex are supposedly pretty close in the brain, that's what makes sense in my mind anyway. But the two girls were also distinct in some way that I can't remember anymore (one may have been more open and the other more reserved and other such dualities?), so in the more metaphorical sense they are probably just relating directly to some aspects of myself, not to mention that at the time I was working on developing two characters that had a similar nature of duality between them.
    15. clxix. School, prankster and posse; Invisible

      by , 09-27-2020 at 11:18 PM
      25th September 2020

      Scraps:

      School. Construction, building or making something.
      26th September 2020

      In-line note; finally had a chance to make some proper DJ notes again.

      7:30 (recall from last parts to first) Dream:

      In a town with H. We were selling this prankster "frat bro" guy some metal keg, full of something, for a prank of his. We'd brought the keg to him on top of the van. H disappeared and left a shoe, one of his red and white ones. I assumed H had gone for a wee.

      Then something changed. H was back and we saw the other guy off. Now we had a lorry with a weird trailer thing, just like a really long wooden-looking beam, with axles and wheels.

      Earlier; Vision of the prankster guy and a group of people his age in a parliament building of some kind.

      Then, in a street in a city, I see one of his posse. A fake blonde, a white girl. They were all in their early 20s. She tries to use an ATM and doesn't understand how to work it at all, looking a bit like an animal trying to understand the contraption. Something about her only having 23 or so in her account?

      Earlier; In a school. Passing thoughts about old friends. I'm my current age, I roam through a very busy underground/maintenance area where all the other students of this school are passing through. I feel as though I am so different from when I was a kid. I walk through the crowded area with some type of confidence, not letting any anxieties or worries stop me or bother me. I spent a moment wondering how I could have ever let myself feel so anxious at school. Then I have some passing thoughts about how many of these kids will be struggling with some or many of the same issues I had and with no guidance either, which I also didn't really have for many aspects of that stage of my life.

      Earlier; Talking to someone. Old friend or similar? The same underground place but not as busy. The other person has a Pepsi and gets it open? Has issues and the cap of the bottle gets deformed; I put it back on for him when he starts to struggle with it.

      (more recall but faded)

      9:00 Fragment:

      Remember being in a building. I'd been there earlier in the dream. Now me and C from school were here to find out something about some guy? It was the guy's birthday? Or maybe we were going to prank him and so we needed to know more; maybe a combination.

      I remember I couldn't be seen by anyone else at some point. I put on the one ring. I was effectively invisible but I could still see myself. I think someone specific could still see me. I remember an interface with something about this universe's rules on the top left, but I didn't look in it.

      27th September 2020

      Had recall but let it fade, didn't care enough to make notes because I felt too tired.



      Notes:


      - The moment of deep introspection through thought was somewhat unusual for a dream, especially with how specific it was. Oddly enough it's something that happens frequently enough in waking life but not much at all in dreams for me.
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