fogelbise

(This may be a more boring entry, but maybe it gives some newbies an idea of some of the things you can run into)

6/12/14* wake up after about 5.5 hours of sleep needing to go to the bathroom and afterwards I do my SSILD cycles and I start to get HI's but fall asleep. Later I am having a dream where I am on the field after one of my games and the game after ours looks like a forfeit, perhaps not enough players. It seems like I'm very tired and I believe what happened is that I lay down on the field and went into an in-dream WILDing-like session where I immediately start getting strong HI's and vibrations which I start to play with including a woman on the field whose clothes I pull off with telekinesis and some motion based dream entry. I find myself in my bed (possible false awakening) but I can feel that I'm still fully in the dream world. I decide I should take off all my clothes and get into some mischievous activity. It feels like I am struggling with taking off my clothes and I start to worry a little bit about using my real waking life hands and possibly waking up or exposing myself
while sleeping. But I do get it together and take off my clothes and I'm hanging around the bed when I hear my wife coming up the stairs again and it reminds me of the false awakening last time and I remind myself "okay FA FA FA" (in other words don't get fooled by the false awakening-like scenario). My wife comes into the room and she's holding my laptop and it's on my email account and I get sidetracked from my lucidity for a moment concerned of what she might have read...perhaps some of my updates from dreamviews related to some of the crazy dream adventures I have which she may not like...But then I hear a song playing very clearly (later when I actually woke up I could hear music coming from my son's room but it wasn't where I could hear lyrics or anything whereas in the dream I was definitely hearing lyrics and a song that I seemed to recognize, all much more clearly than what I heard when I woke up). Anyway, I closed my laptop and looked out my window for the source of the sound and I could see some of my teammates outside getting ready for a game and my first thought was why am I not there, why are they playing without me but then I realize the scenario is highly unlikely, especially a game right outside my house...oh yeah this is still a dream this was a false awakening like scenario. I specifically remember "J" & "K" being out there and a little scene played where someone was asking J if he had ever been an ex-WAIF (unsure what this means) and a scene of J sitting at his current job with a desk full of papers. I think that I'm forgetting some details throughout this lengthy dream because I specifically remember thinking that this lucid dream is going fairly long. I find myself back in bed and I wonder if this is another false awakening but then I can feel my wife being amorous and I start to wake up for real. My lucidity level was obviously low throughout or I wouldn't have had such a hard time retaining it or remembering so much of it. Because of this I put the dream through Sageous' FLD test of proving lucidity to yourself and came up with the verdict that I was definitely lucid in spots. I tried to go back to sleep and got some HI's or dreamlets of Cameron Diaz leaning over showing off her cleavage (saw her in a movie last night). 160

6/10/14* (short version, though not a super long LD; KILD=Kiss Induced Lucid Dream) I am getting on a commuter train and feel very tired. I think to myself what if I can lucid dream on the train but it doesn't occur to me that I'm dreaming yet. Seem to doze off quickly and I'm standing in a hall and three ladies that I think are supposed to be the Kardashian sisters are standing on the other side of the hall across from me. The shortest one (seems to be Kourtney) is in between the other two and is changing her top and I could briefly see her breasts and the other two sisters are trying to cover her up while she changes. I move my head to the left and get another view of her right breast facing me. I believe that I am semi-lucid here. Khloe walks over to me like she is going to set me straight and I grasp her and kiss her and she is into it and I fully realize that this is a dream and I think of the TOTM bonus impregnation task. My original plan was to do it with Girl Friday (and I still can) and then to summon a meteor to mark the occasion (perform the meteor task) and visit the meteor landing site. We take it to the ground after some standing foreplay which includes my common reach down for moisture. Anyway, the main thing is we get down to intercourse. I start imagining exploding inside her and can kind of feel it (I think about how it has felt way more realistic on at least one occasion) and I pull up a little and say "look...your stomach is growing" and it does grow taking her up to what must be like 6 months pregnant or less with multiple babies or something...who knows. Anyway this blends into a very convincing false awakening where I think I hear my wife calling for me from downstairs as if I am making her late and I notice I am having trouble rolling out of bed and getting up and think that I hear her coming up the stairs. I try to reach over and bang the wall to let her know that I'm awake and getting up and I am finally able to fully wake myself and I wake up only to find that the last part was all just a false awakening. 159

Craziness has been keeping me from doing much with my day practices and no night time practices this night due to needing a good night's sleep but going back over exercise 4a from the Open Beta exercises yesterday may have helped. The exercise gave me the sense that everything is a dream (at least for a more extended period than normal) and I found more exciting about my waking world.

6/7/14* DILD involved me driving on what at first seemed like a familiar road and then realizing that I did not know this road at all - I am dreaming. I fly up out of the car and end up in the void where I patiently summon Girl Friday and have her strip which was very hot, turned into a false awakening of wife coming into the room and her being pleasantly surprised by my condition down there. 158

6/2/14* TOTM basic Iⅈ good waking memory. We are stranded in a small town at night but there are lots of people around like a party or event. My wife's friend "J" is on the way to pick us up. I have a nickname for her: "JTB" and I remembered it and addressed her with the nickname as she arrived quite quickly in a truck with advertising decals on it. She gave me a hug and a kiss on the cheek and I gave her a kiss on the cheek and it immediately made me think of the task of the month and fully realize that this is a dream. I looked over to her left and there was a young guy maybe 16-18 baby faced blonde hair and I went over to him and kissed him on the cheek. And then I turn around and look for someone else to do the next task and I found a big tall imposing guy, he would make a good target for the repeat task. I ask him to say something. He simply says "take" so I repeat back to him take about 20 times and towards the end I said "and take" which felt like I messed up being able to take it longer because I added an "and" in there (he just stood there looking at me and nodding his head). I stop there and was considering the next task when I found myself fading back to bed. I didn't incubate the tasks I just thought about them more like a list but I think I will incubate/day rehearse the advanced ones, the bonus and the June special. 157

6/1/14 Super quick entry: familiar dream location, think this is where I usually get lost in dreams...wait...I'm dreaming. Fly up over building and check out miscellaneous ladies.

6/1/14 Super quick entry: familiar dream location, think this is where I usually get lost in dreams...wait...I'm dreaming. Fly up over building and check out miscellaneous ladies.

Real rough and brief notes, *mainly for self...

5/29/14*
lady bleeding from hand. OMG you're still bleeding? There was so much blood on the floor as I go to help and she almost passes out. Do you have insurance? (She probably needs blood infusion I think to myself). American Beauty bloody scene last night..? 2 others helping in hospital or clinic-like place and I am holding someone's baby....hers? I am playing mouth games with the baby who is so cute maybe 3 months and it gets the baby smiling. I blow into baby's mouth and puff up her(?) cheeks. This seemed to be a significant dream for me related to stuff going on, especially the woman bleeding and maybe the baby represented my new personal developments./
CJ big black Ford truck 905??. CJ=clara jane? /
Son driving. Another car backs into bicyclist they seem to fight around the accident. heading to sons middle school but we stop short to walk the rest away but he forgot something in the car of course. I say I will go back to get the car we should have parked at the school anyway. I realize as going back for the car as everything turns dark that it is a dream and push my way through the darkness and fly. Then I am face down floating above my bed attempting a motion based deild before I notice I am above the bed. The motion is one where I seem to have two sets of wings but first I was planning on pulling down my shorts and doing something sexual but I wonder if I might act that out in bed (IWL) and my wife would see. She recently wanted me to stop LDing. Anyway, the kinetic motion of the two sets of wings was incredible (alternating flaps, front set and then back set, very odd feeling) while floating above my bed and attempting to create a new scene from it but woke up. 154

5/30/14* chase? Attempt float down from high in lobby? Seemed semi-lucid here but recall poor. /Hotel...race to book room *at hotel. / (Success related to meeting last night). / 540:M from S thinks she's in love. Other couple doubts. I'm changing clothes in same room as couple...guy goes heads into bathroom...I'll change quickly while he's in the bathroom in front of the girlfriend. /
* I go outside to check looks like it'll be nice sunset. Odd tree shaped clouds...mushroom clouds? Nah...but I should go pick up son(@school?). Rushing back home I realize this is a dream and I can just fly...I float up over the house on my right and onto my block (weird version of my neighborhood?). I see a group of people out on a front patio/deck and fly up over to them and one female is sitting in a skirt with her legs spread and I am thinking about having some fun. I hear my alarm going off IWL while still in the dream and consider for a few moments if I should ignore it for a little while but realize that I need to get up and drop off my son and go ahead and wake up (or maybe would have anyway) and found the alarm actually going off (it is a gentle one). Not really trying anything tonight but to sleep due to game latter in day, but some late awakenings added awareness I'm sure. 155

5/25/14 DEILD, WILD, DILD between clear awakenings ~4am 7am 8:30am

5/27/14 2 Nap DILDs between awakenings and NLDs- day off wake from each around 10am & 11am; shutters in odd place, good waking awareness

I think the return of multiple LDs in a night is due to the self-hypnosis script that StephL posted and so far I have used only once but I think it was more effective for me due to the over 1 year of background work on self-awareness and other lucid dreaming fundamentals...I guess we'll see.

I hope to fill in the details later but Girl Friday was there a lot.

I'm scared that I may start to nap too much. I never had much success with naps and to have 2 DILDs in one 2 hour nap session this morning could draw me in to more naps.

5/24/14!*

WILD! Very nice love making session with Girl Friday. I wake up after about 6 hours and I'm very tired but try to wake myself up more first with a little weirdness induction and then just thinking about lucid dreams & my recent boldness initiated lucid dreams. It takes me a little while 2 get back to sleep partly because I tried without my earplugs thinking I was still plenty drowsy and then put them in after a while. Yesterday I start to re-read the open beta exercises but didn't quite get to exercise 2 and I also did the self hypnosis script from Steph's posting about 30 minutes before bed. This is supposed to be quick notes. Anyway the WILD. I am doing my version of SSILD and periodically break off from it to attempt to drift toward sleep but returned to the cycles several times. Eventually I get the feeling of my wife moving in to cuddle from the back and not sure if it is HHs but I feel like I'm close and try not to engage with her physically IWL and I start to get vibrations, I was wondering where the vibrations have gone. I guess I haven't been focusing on WILDs. Anyway I start to nudge on the vibrations but then remembered my plan to remain patient through them and I can tell that they are the stronger kind, the pre-dream kind. At first I get the sensation of being in an ocean again and there is a light blue glowing all around me kind of like the ocean but more floating in the air than anything else with slight ocean sensations. It is quite nice! Like last time I decided I did not want to be in the deep part of the ocean away from shore but instead the scene fades back to my bedroom but I can still tell I am in dreamland. A female outline starts to appear and patiently watch as she materializes but she takes a couple of different forms of different women before finalizing on Girl Friday. At one point she looks like my wife and I went to caress her and start to remove her clothes with foreplay etc and I could see that she
started changing again at first she look like generic version of Girl Friday and I think that's when Girl Friday started to materialize as I realized it looked kind of like her. We start to kiss passionately and slowly remove one item of clothing after another. When we get to removing our bottom underwear the excitement intensifies but I continue to take it slow and enjoy this realistic interaction...nothing else exists for the moment! I reach down and caress her moist flower. After enjoying that for a few moments, I insert while looking deep into her beautiful brown eyes and kiss her some more. She has a look on her face like she thinks I am too large and I ask if she is okay as I want to keep this realistic and romantic. She looks half worried, half excited. I say that it is okay if she is sore the next day as long as nothing and I stop myself from saying anything more or visualizing it lest it happens. We continue on and I think about my
conversations about kissing and looking at the face at the same time during a dream and it is working just fine and enhances the experience as usual but this time I really think about it as I am doing it. As we are going at on the floor I can hear my wife back up on the bed moving around and I think about a dutchraptor style lucidity test and consider calling out to my wife to tell her what I'm up to and maybe have her join us...who knows, she might be excited by the idea...at least in the dreamworld...probably not advisable anywhere else. I then think, what if I end up talking in my sleep so I tell GF to tell my wife what we are up to and she does...she says "We are making love" in a shy voice with a look of love on her face. I feel a rush of romantic love-like feelings. Not long after I find myself back in bed and smiling big and my wife notices and I turn my affection towards her. 148

5/19/14* Short version: walking in a hallway I have a boldness initiated lucid dream (DILD where I get the urge to be bold with a passing woman and realize that it is a dream). I immediately think of my time stopping pocket watch idea from a Twilight Zone episode and I commence to use it to do various depravities to various women. It only freezes the DC's in the immediate vicinity of me and sometimes I have to press down on the pocket watch twice for it to work. I also comically expose myself while flying by some of the ladies. Two ladies turn into like Barbie dolls with no features down there. I run into a family and the mother is only one that won't freeze with my special pocket watch and she chastises me and asks are you really going to do this and I do, pulling up her shirt and feeling on her breasts but I did feel kind of bad afterwards even though this is all a dream, it felt like she had a point. Perhaps I should just enjoy exploring like the two wonderful recent dreams I had but I feel like I should experiment with this time stopping technique again...maybe in preparing for a fight or deciding what action to take...hmmm... This one lasted maybe 5 minutes. 147

5/13/14*! ~1020 150-2:30 NLD recall+wakefulness 4:10wake from LD up til ~5am DJ+windows. ~6:15; More recall, 735 up

Notes: Went to bed a little early and early wake back to bed after only sleeping 3.5 hours but did not do much except think about my recent dream scenario/taking control/being bold DILDs and visualizing it happening again and becoming lucid. Also right before bed I do my simulation of the levitation RC and visualizing moving straight to the task of the month.

I am in a movie theater / restaurant (it was one and then the other) and I head to the bathroom where (on the way) there is a sign that says something like "additional bathrooms to the left with additional amenities!" But I go to the closer one right in front of me am I standing at the urinal when over to the left I see there are a couple of women in another wing of the bathroom taking a peek at me and I let them have a little look but I still don't quite realize I am dreaming yet. I come out and C (wife of A) is in the hall and asked me to wait but I mostly ignore her and I look over into a room down the hall and I think "that looks like M" one of my wife's good friends. I also see M by the same name who is one of my son's friends and that's when I realize this must be a dream to see both of them together in the same odd place (as opposed to a party at my house or something). I say something to that effect and I try to levitate and at first it feels
more like my simulation but then I try again with more intention and confidence and it works. I float up into the air and fly-float around the room. I continue into another room down the hall already thinking about the musical performance task of the month and there is a band already playing and an empty drum set but no drumsticks and there is a crowd gathered set up more like a cocktail lounge with tables throughout and for the most part 2 people at each table, small round tables throughout the room. I tap on the empty drum set with my finger and then turn around and face the audience and start air drumming while imagining the song and while feeling the strong emotion of it: "I can feel it coming in the air tonight" by Phil Collins as planned. The drums start to appear although a little fuzzy and I keep playing and having a blast. Recalling the additional specifics of the task, I look around at the room for the reaction and the crowd seems mostly disinterested, not paying attention. Each table seems to be talking amongst themselves. (Later after the transition in the dream I try to think of another task and I decide against trying the Limerick and I think was it something to do with getting or giving a flower, no there was Sivason's idea of creating a field of flowers but that didn't become one of the tasks, never mind just have some fun. Back to the transition.) I feel the scene fading but I still feel firmly in dreamland and I start spinning and it works again! I think the trick for me now and why I have time to do the spin is that I no longer believe that just because the scene is fading that I have to wake up)! This time I do not think of anything specific but after a short while I start to feel the sensation of floating in water (again) and the sound of the ocean, and again I tell myself I will end up in shallow water and sure enough after what feels like 10-15 seconds later I'm at the foot of the beach and look back at the water. In the
water there are two yellow objects: a small one close by and a large one that looks like an empty raft further out. I decide to go check out the smaller one close by and go back into the water and grab it and it is one of those kid's arm-floaties perhaps another childhood memory. I love smelling those rubber items because they remind me of summer water toys that have that distinct strong chemical smell and remind me of wonderful summers past . I get caught in the tide a little bit but I'm slowly being pushed closer and closer to shore before I decide to just fly / zoom on out of the water and on to the shore. I look back out to the water again and there is a big group of what I assume are natives coming ashore. They seem like a lightly dressed but advanced civilization due to their hover-like boats that they come in to shore on (& later by the way that they talk), each with their own "boat" for the most part, a few with small kids along for the ride. They don't seem to see me at first and just come on to the shore in front of me and start walking over to my right. I call out to them and one man who seems to be the leader of the group comes over to me. I ask if they can bring me two of their most beautiful women. Just behind and next to him is a beautiful woman that looks quite a bit like Natalie Portman and I say she will be perfect. She walks over to me and seems fascinated by my mole as if it is some kind of sign and she kisses me on the lips. The leader guy may be with her and he looks a little jealous and he walks over to me also taking note of the mole and reaches around to the back of my neck and feels the bone protruding at the base of the back of my neck and seems to determine something from that and looks at me like I am strange and not like them. I tell him I come from a different time and place. It seems like a different time because it feels like if it were on earth it would be something similar to an Egyptian civilization but perhaps I'm not even on earth in this dream, thus a different place. This woman is so beautiful and I just hold her standing side by side admiring her body and touching her firm buttocks. She's wearing something like an intricate string bikini with lots of extra strings/straps wrapping around her waist area and connected to the bottom piece and something similar to her top covering but less strings/straps at top. It is beige in color as is the clothing of all of them. She is a great kisser! I start looking for the second woman and there is a younger one on the ground half-naked with no top on and while looking around and all the people I start to fade back to bed and can tell that I am clearly awake now. What an awesome dream! 146

I later had a false awakening where I was writing down my sports dream where the other player cheated in order to score. While reviewing the notes I noticed that what I wrote didn't make sense and I woke up.

I will be brief on these 2 sexual LDs:
5/9: cute woman, see her naked backside at beach and feel bold and recognize that as a dream scenario=DILD, I went over to her and she gave me a very realistic bj, a very good bj that felt like it would be "professional." Another couple came in and the lady was very cute and was right next to me so I tried to reach back and open up her blouse while getting the bj from the original cute woman but the guy with her took her away. The bj portion lasted several minutes at least. 144

5/10 ex's family (talked about her this day) cg peeking at me changing, feeling frisky but don't yet realize I'm dreaming and go to bed in the dream: in dream wild...wow I think, I started dreaming quick!...as soon as my head hit the pillow! I'm dreaming! Same room cg + other women. Put her hands down my pants and go for a while before seeing another beautiful woman and walking over to her putting her hands down my pants feeling her "ahem" moist through her underwear and then we both get naked and I put it in and out slowly and I talk dirty to her and she loves it. Nice lengthy LD. 145

5/7* this entry is mainly for notes that I forgot to add to my last entry and will add my LD this morning which was fairly short just before waking up for the day.

Factors that may have to contributed to my previous very nice LD (previous DJ entry):

-self-awareness (recent refocus on)
-open beta exercises
-weirdness induction second night in a row(now 3rd)
-taking control / boldness dream sign second night in a row (as of 5/6 LD)
-ssild

The one I had this morning was very close to when I get up for the day and I usually have very low awareness and I am usually very zoned out. I was also very tired from my game last night so I wasn't planning on trying but I did do a little weirdness induction when I got up to go to the bathroom but quickly went back to sleep. I think I even felt a little tired in the dream. Anyway I was in my old bedroom at M Boulevard and I saw a man and woman walking in the front yard and I thought that was strange and they were turning around towards the side of the house and I thought this seems like a dream scenario. This is a thought I have had more often recently...of scenarios feeling like a dream scenario. Sure enough the guy comes up to the window and is trying to come into the window and I play around with him a bit pointing my finger at him like a gun considering summoning a gun and shooting him but then I thought well let me talk to him and ask him what his name is. His face does look slightly familiar. He has kind of an odd nose and a half-homely face with brown hair (in waking the only person I can think of makes me think he did
kind of look like DP from high school, the one who lived about one quarter mile to the right of my street but I think it may have been someone else that I've seen somewhere). He said his name was Hareuna. I ask him to say it again and he spells it. As I'm confirming the spelling, I wake up. I see online a few people with Arabic names with Hareuna in their name...google search says are you sure you don't mean Haruna which seems to be a Japanese name and battleship. I don't remember ever seeing that name before, though I could have forgotten. 143

5/5/14* Epic for me!..the part I am referring to starts at the ocean/beach further into the first lucid (blue) section. Got a great balance of self-awareness and dream environment attention and vividness! Weirdness induced second night in a row, but this time intentionally. This may be too personally felt for anyone else to get it. Also I was getting HH's while wife was getting up to get ready and there are only two of us in the house but I could hear the door closing on the other side of the house at the same time I felt my bed bouncing a little bit like when someone gets in or out of bed and that was a little bit freaky but I took it as HH's and I stay calm (which was it...was the bed movement or the door closing the HH...or both? ha ha!). Dream: We are in a big group seem to be traveling and we are in like a passport or visa line in Paris (the dream tells me this but I am not sure how, perhaps from earlier in the dream) but I am disappointed to see that we arrived in one of the suburbs and at first there is a huge line I see over to the left and I hope that that is not the line we're getting in but no we are dropped off to another place. There doesn't seem to be a line and we just have to go down this series of stairs, more and more stairs until finally I'm in this line but it is an amusement park line for some ride. It is a train of 4 to 6 cars each half-dome shaped with space for two. I've lost everyone except for one girl that is with us. But then I notice that I got out of line somehow on the exit side of the ride and the ride operator wouldn't let me get back on with the person I was with so now she was on the ride and taking off and the ride operator said something smart and I got upset at him and I thought it makes me just want to punch the guy and as I think about actually punching him I realize wait a minute that's a dream-like scenario taking control and punching someone and I realize I'm dreaming and I think about the musical performance task of the month and how I had already planned on doing it, but first I punch the guy. So I start playing air guitar and I the guitar appears and then I started doing air drums imagining the song by Phil Collins "I can feel it coming in the air tonight" I forget the title. Everything goes fuzzy but the crowd, I can start to hear the crowd getting louder and louder forming around me and there was already a crowd in the line of the ride but then I imagine them cheering and continue playing the drums and I am having a blast when I feel the dreamscape fading and I remember to try to spin and I fade into the void. In the void I tried to go back to where I was, with me performing, but nothing was happening fast enough so I remember my old reliable happy place, an ocean beach. As I imagine the scene I can start to hear ocean waves very gentle but repetitive rolling in along with seagulls calling and I patiently wait and it feels like I'm starting to float in slightly undulating water and I decide I don't want it to be too deep I want to be close to shore so I can explore the land and I do feel the water shallow...success! I feel the water up to my shins and the scene appears around me it is a grassy ocean with long green something not really kelp but it looks more like thick green grass and it grows above the surface of the very calm waters a little bit maybe half a foot or so and at the edge of the short beach (or high tide) it is like a big ruins wall with an arch opening in it and a column rising up from it up to the right. It looks like what remains of a wall or maybe the façade of a structure. It is maybe 50 yards wide (~50 meters) and maybe 25 or 30 yards high. I decide to fly up to the top of it and have a look around on top of the ruins. At the top of one smaller column I take a closer look and notice that the bricks are made of thin layers of tiny bricks joined together in sheets almost, kind of like reddish adobe clay perhaps, each layer is very intricate there is what I estimate to be about 10 little bricks going across one way with a thin connecting layer between each and then I guess that it must be about 10 going across the other way but when I count I get beyond 12 and I think that there are a few more than that and this layer of connected bricks looks to be only about a quarter-inch thick and it is pliable and I'm kind of messing it up like it is not dry yet and I decide to move on. I fly up over the wall and there are so many miniature things, toys and what not and I fly over to another ruin wall and stop and then fly down again to take a closer look there's this one set of toys that is all in an Arabian theme. There are several guys on camels and they look like royalty, nicely dressed with attire hooded over their head as you might expect from some Arabian tales and not dissimilar to the wise men typically seen in a nativity scene. These are very nice figurines. They were obviously set up in an array perhaps like a kid might set up to play with but neatly or like set up for a museum miniature display. These figures look like they were a good 12-18 inches tall or so. I'm really loving this and decide to keep exploring and go past one of the other ruins and it becomes like a room with a little window box on the far end and more displays inside there. I think about whether or not to fly or phase into that window box display thing but I just think why?..it could cause complications for the stability of the dream. I turn around and there are so many different things in this room and as I head towards the door-like opening I see there is a big glass display case like a curio cabinet and I can see part of my reflection and I notice I'm only wearing underwear and I say well let's see what my thing looks like in this dream. I pull down my underwear and it is kind of a retracted and not much 2 speak of...more like a child's. This dreamscape is so fascinating (and I think that it is some kind of representation of my child-like fantasies of exploring ancient ruins and also the imagination that went along with playing with toy figurines when I was a kid. This was a feeling I recently recaptured when doing the open beta exercises. It is like how when you were a kid you could look at an area under a bush and imagine it as a cool world for your figurines to play in or for your toy soldiers to fight in and I think that is how this world came to be even though I started off imagining the beach and got the beach with the grassy ocean.) As I go on through the door-like arch the dream feels like it is fading but I decided not to fight it because I don't want to forget all of the details of the dreamscape I just explored or the dream before with me performing musically. When I woke up I was quite pleased with myself, and though it may not sound that interesting to many people, it was utterly fascinating to me and I absolutely loved it! It felt like playing somewhere in my subconscious! I can imagine that this is one of those dreams that may only mean a lot to me. I also don't want to consider counting it as TOTM completion because I have more I want to do with that task and I am afraid I won't go back to it if I already have the wings. Awesome fun! 142

Never put last nights LD in my DJ:
5/4* (copying from the TOTM post. I was on a cruise ship vacation in two different dreams this night but only including the TOTM related one here.)

Had an attempt at advanced ii...but I am most happy with my self-awareness during the LD and also breaking away from my typical LD slant (though that kind of sexual thinking helped me realize it was a dream).

I am back on the cruise ship and I see some movement involving a woman in this big glass windowed room/atrium and I think about going in but then it occurs to me that this is a dream scenario for me...I might be...I must be...yeah...I will float up and prove it to myself. Sure enough I float up maybe 20 feet in the air and think that this is a great location to do the musical performance task in front of a large audience on a cruise ship. (Dream control poison removed to protect the dream schema of the innocent). I am now flying over an odd version of a vast ocean. Instead of a realistic ocean it is very light blue for as far as I can see in all directions with symbols in a symmetrical pattern throughout. The repeating symbol was kind of like a yin & yang symbol but with a dolphin on one side and a graphical representation of a wave on the other. I try flying in different directions and still thinking about how to find a large audience and I tell myself that I will begin seeing a city. The seascape starts to change but instead of starting to see a city I suddenly find myself in a large dark, dusty room with a fireplace mantle on one end and a few decorations hanging around it and several old dusty chairs sitting on the right and left side of the room. I find this very interesting to have such a drastic change in scene and look around in amazement. This place looks most like an abandoned retirement home and I feel like this room is probably the recreational room where they would play bingo and what not. I decide that I can still make this work, I just need to summon a bunch of people like I did in last months TOTM, but I tried to summon everyone in with one idea. The idea was that I could hear the crowd building and cheering flowing into the room and I could start to hear it when I felt the dream quickly dissipate. Perhaps I should have brought groups of people in, one at a time, like I did last month thinking I may have tried to do too much at once or perhaps I was coming to the end of my REM anyway. 141

5/1/14* I remember thinking that I got #140, so waking memory was present in several spots during the night hinting at some good self awareness in spots including waking memory of a recent event in the last few weeks, but for the life of me I can't bring back the whole LD, just the "outline" of it. Usually I have no problem remembering LDs (unless I have forgotten a lot more than I realize) but on a few occasions in the past I have had the feeling that I had an LD during the night and then it would all come flowing back to me, remembering the details. This one must have fell into a false awakening I am thinking because of the recall issue and if I actually woke up from the dream I am sure I would have recalled more. All I know is that I was in a work environment when I noticed something weird and realized that I was dreaming. I remember taking off flying and ending up in a void and flying different directions while trying to imagine a new scene and at some point I was thinking that I got to LD #140. That's all I can remember for now. The other waking memory was of someone who left my company a few weeks ago and in the dream I realized that he no longer worked there but the dreaming mind created the scenario that he was just visiting. I even thought about whether or not I could get in trouble for letting him be in the building but seeing that other authorities saw him as well, I decided that it must be fine. Also interesting to me is that all 3 of the people have "g" sounds in their first names. In another dream(?) in work scenario "S" from office was pointing out why a particular request couldn't go out yet due to (bc) not being completed and that made complete sense in the dream and IWL reality. Other dreams include some self-surgery on the bottom of my toe, impatient with the doctor who had another patient in the room - a naked woman being examined. I removed too much tissue. Another dream I was on a spinning amusement park ride that was indoors and spinning quite fast with lots of "G's." For some reason I had the idea that FryingMan was on the ride as well and I remember joking around that "we're all gonna die!" like something was wrong with the ride and I remember one guy's face looking very concerned and I just laughed. At the end of the ride, the girl behind me was with another guy but she was touching my arm behind the cover of part of the ride in an intentional flirty way. I also saw a college couple having sex and the particulars gave a strong indication that this scene came about due to incubation. 140

4/29/14* My wife moved abruptly to turn off her alarm (timing was right IWL), but due to all of the HH's I get with my wife moving, I took it as an HH and kept my awareness basically attempting a DEILD. I had the sensation of laying in bed but a visual, over to my right, of myself (I assume) floating face down above the bed. That scene and the following was too much of a lengthy continuous scene to have been HH. I think this might have been influenced by a scene in the poorly rated movie "Apparition" that I saw over the weekend where the main character sees himself stuck on the ceiling and is unable to move on the bed either but eyes wide open (looked like sleep paralysis) while his girlfriend is being attacked by an unseen force. Mine was more of a dark outline of a male body on the ceiling. I believe it caught me in one of the NREM stages but the bizarreness of it eventually woke me up for real (or my wife moving again). I remained calm but continued to get rotating dark figures above me so I just laid back...mostly enjoying the show. Very memorable. 139

4/27* Cool WILD experience from my bed but did not go anywhere. I had Special-K with dried strawberries cereal and milk which is not overly sweet so some carbs and milk during a 30 minute WBTB (about 8 hours into my night!). Slept one hour and woke up to urinate and then WILDed. I had some interesting HI's that I looked past to avoid focusing on them I felt light vibrations which I nudged on stronger and stronger and then everything stopped and there was absolutely no sound and I recognized that external input was basically shut down and I am essentially asleep. This is probably the most clear-headed I have been during a WILD which are fairly clear-headed anyway but some level of confusion before the dream has clearly formed. My dreaming mind is giving me an odd version of still laying in bed and I try to do the glottal clucking sound and it doesn't work right confirming I am dreaming (motionless RC). I start to roll over and my mind is creating my typical DC wife response of getting upset about me doing the lucid dreaming thing again so I actually lay still and she seems to go away or out of my experience. I realize my dream eyes are closed previously not wanting to open them too early. I open them and there is a big screen tv on my ceiling with some romantic scene playing (I actually watched the first 25 minutes or so of "In My Dreams" made-for-tv movie during the WBTB. I recorded on ABC or one of the networks last week. It was about a guy looking for the woman he met in his dreams.) The scene featured a gorgeous woman that looked a lot like the female lead in the movie I watched earlier. After watching it a while it changed into more like a super-8 film playing on the ceiling. Random jumpy scenes of a kid playing in a grassy area with a ball. I wonder if it is supposed to be me. I feel a little stuck and am not that interested in starting in my bedroom so I try a closed-eye teleport and have the sensation of flying through a grayish-black non-descript scene. It feels good but I wanted to end up in a nebula so I do another closed-eye teleport and am back in bed in my dream body and decide to try to roll out of bed to try my lucid dream from there. It is very hard to roll and I start to become concerned that I will move my real body and sure enough I fade back to bed for real.
138


4/26 DILD spooning with a woman as we start touching more sexually I realize that I'm dreaming and we have sex. 137

4/25/14* I saw 2 sets of people in my dream that I don't remember dreaming about before from waking life and people I haven't seen for a while. One I haven't seen for probably 25 years (MB) and the other set were my wife's uncles L, P, & E , two of which I saw maybe 3 or 4 years ago and one of them about seven years ago perhaps. Also there was C from the office & bro-law B. I did get news feeds from facebook for them recently including just last night on the one that I haven't seen for 25 years.

To bed 11pm. Not trying anything tonight but I woke up at 4 a.m. from a disturbing dream related to possession. Basically "D" from the office was looking at me and saying that there's something wrong with you and I kind of laugh it off and later he says oh your left sleeve is bundled up oddly like you are possessed, however that connection was made! I joke around about being possessed but I also think about some of the people who think lucid dreaming could lead to something like that. He says you shouldn't joke around, you've got a strange vibe about you and I make a growling noise as a joke but when I did that I felt very strange and backed off from my joking and woke up. I think that raised my awareness quite well which resulted in the unintentional dild in the dream below.

(R-rated sexual content - if you don't visualize the words)
I was at a party (I think @my sister in laws house) and I was leaving the party getting ready to walk to my car and one of the women at the party walked up to me and said hey wait maybe I can walk with you because
my house is around the corner. it seems she didn't want to walk alone, it was night time. After a little walk she comes to her car. I guess she lives far enough around the corner to have driven and she tells me to get in she will show me her house and then take me back to my car. She has a 6 unit building and she lives in one of the units even though there are no multi family dwellings in the neighborhood...this doesn't occur to me at the time. She starts to take me back to my car but she's driving backwards instead of turning around. I go with it but then she starts rolling up on a curb, a steep curb and I can feel the car tilt but I remind myself that the tilt is not severe enough to turn the car over and surely she's about to roll back off the curb but then she keeps going and now she's heading towards a cliff. As we approach the cliff I realize how improbable this is and that it feels like a dream scenario but as we're dropping off the cliff I'm not
100% sure so I think well there's nothing I can do at this point anyway might as well enjoy the ride down either way. I can feel the strong g's particularly on my face from dropping and it feels so realistic like one of those drop tower rides but I am 99% sure that it is a dream now. A thought pops in my head that well if I we're about to die we might as well have last sex and it seems like at that point the vehicle stops dropping and it is now a large van. The woman seems to have heard my thoughts or was thinking the same thing and lays down on the floor of the van and pulls up her shirt. She is not wearing a bra underneath. We both start taking off our pants and underwear and the driver of the van, like one of those large shuttle vans starts walking back towards us like she its going to tell us off. I look up at her and the woman on the floor starts giving me a bj and it feels very realistic I start looking around this shuttle van and looking down at the woman who is giving me the bj and I am fascinated by
all of the realism. Her eyes, her eyebrows, her hair. Apparently this is a bus full of nurses and they all look so realistic as well but I don't have ideas for the others yet and in fact the nurses all start giving us reasons why we should not be doing this which seems to be trying to tug at my lucidity. Instead I find myself back in bed, awake. *Now this is a little bit of a strange coincidence but my wife woke up and told me she had a bad dream. She almost never remembers our dreams and rarely talks about them and thinks it's strange that I focus on my dreams and that I lucid dream. She said she had a dream that she was at a party (like mine) and I was there with a woman and I was being nice to her like she was my new woman or something and my wife got very upset and left. Not necessarily an uncommon thing to have a dream about being at a party & jealousy, but I thought it was interesting. Lately my self-awareness still seems to be lower as it has swung more towards my surroundings.