side notes

2/14/14 Friday

Last night, came home at 9pm. Then had to work at home till 2:30 am. Fell asleep at 3am. Had my alarm set to 7am. Slept right through it. Woke up at 7:20 and flew out the door to make it on time.

Yeah, no surprise there, no recall.

Last time I had a short night, I got a great REM rebound next nite, when I was getting into a WILD just seconds after going to bed. But didn't hold it, fell asleep.

I already fell asleep on sofa today, got up to go to bed. But ofc, by the time I made it there I'm no longer sleepy : ( So I'm gonna read book about Cayce, i started reading during my break today.

2.12.14 Wednesday

Last night, bed 11pm - 8:40am

Remember a dream about being on skype and skype ringing. I woke up to that and it was still ringing for real.

Had bunch of dreams, but wasn't waking up at right time to remember them. Will be better tomorrow.

2.11.14 Tuesday

Last night, bed 11pm - 7:40am

Did 10 min of anapana sati just before bed.

Had lots of dreams. Remembered one in particular, but decided this one will be better if forgotten. So I didn't write it down.

Drank water before bed, but strange thing, it didn't wake me up single time. Nice thing is though, that I'm waking up on my own few times, and either remembering dreams, or being very close to remembering.

I meditated for about 10 min in the rec room at work. Which was fuking hard to do with Rosie O'Donald blaring from friggin TV babbling about how awesome she is. And that stupid place doesn't have a remote for the TV, so no chance of shutting her up without hopping on a chair to reach the invisible buttons on top of the tv.

Will meditate again before bed, same as last 2 days.

I meditated today again 15 min. It felt nice.

I will do the second session just before bed, same as I did last night.

Today I started Anapana Sati meditation, as recommended by kadie. http://buddhist-meditation-technique...st-meditation/

I will practice Anapana Sati, before I'm ready for Vipassana meditation.

I did it for 15 min. I was starting to feel very relaxed and didn't want to end.

I will really try to do it 2x a day, for 15 min, for first week. Then 30 min 2x for a week, then for an hour.


EDIT:
Meditated from 10:45-11pm

Had epic recall and epic dreams. Related?

1.01.14

Last night, bed at 10:15pm - 5am. Night before, bed at 2:30am - 5am.

As I layed down, I started getting flashes of images right away. I figured, I got REM rebound from short sleep night before.

Almost immediatelly, I got HH of geometric shapes. It was a large grid of black lines on white, as if back-lit surface. The squares were filled with strange, as if chinese characters. Few squares had a slightly bigger character in them, that was more like a graphic, not letter. As if old chinese stamp with maybe 2-3 vertical characters in them. Oh, I know, like an egyptian cartouche, only vertical.

Then all of a sudden I got scared. That's when I realized I'm wilding. I fell asleep soon after.

12.27.13

Last night, went to bed too late again. Almost 2am. When I woke up in the morning, a brief flash of some large, dark barrels came to my mind. Tried to remember more, but didn't happen. My memory is great and recall getting better every day. Hear that, subcon?

12.25.13

Last night bed around 1am - 8:50am
Last week or so, I have been going to bed around 11pm, because I have started new work. It's very hectic and tiring as hell.

When I have recall, it's about this new work, and also working on DV. I'm off today and tomorrow and ready to do some serios sleeping and dreaming. And remembering.

EDIT:
OMG, just as I clicked on save, I remembered a crazy dream from last night. All about sex. I think I was disturbed by reading somebodys comment in chat last night. Oh, and also something about what my friend OP said, hahah.

DR:
So, I'm in a group of 5-7 people. I and one other person are older, and in position of authority of some kind. We are both same sex. We are walking into some building. Not really hotel, because rooms are free. It's in the near future. More modern than today, but still very familiar and not too futuristic.

We are in the hallway and by touching the door, it opens. It's made out of translucent glass. Three of us take rooms right next to each other. We know we are there to have sex. We just not sure who with whom, or if some others are coming. I'm sitting with this other adult, I think it's my favorite teacher, and I'm wondering if she is thinking to do it with me. Because I'm thinking "NOT". We are there to only supervise.

DR:
Could be same dream, but now it's only me. Same sexual athmosfere.

12.14.13

Got up just before 9am. Nap around 2pm.

Towards the end, I'm dreaming of sleeping on a sofa and wilding. I get the head first flying sensation. When it ends, I think to myself, that I'm already in a dream and I should just get up. So I try but my left knee bumps some furniture. I decide that it's my waking body moving, and I'm not in a dream. I invoke another sensation but don't end up in a dream.

Of course, there is no furniture by my sofa, so my dream knee was bumping in a dream. That's ok, I got these 2 cool sensations, I didn't get them in a while, and I missed them.

Monday, 9/16/13

Last night, around 11:30 - 8am

Drink of water before bed, and every time I got up.

I know I had a 'busy"dream. When you have tons of things to do. But didn't remember it well when I woke up in the morning, and now I remember even less.

7/28/13

Last night bed 10:30 - 5 am 7am-12pm

Shortly after falling asleep last night, I woke startled and I was so sure I'm dreaming. Counted my left hand's fingers, normal number. I was thinking "please, let they be normal on the other one too". I was so freaked out.

I was awake, but the feeling lingered. Thank god for RCs.

7/17/13

last night bed 12am - 8:30am

DR - I wrote down some keywords at night. "Backpain, classmates, school looking for printouts, LDing

Around noon I layed down and listened to my Yoga Nidra MP3. Barely like 4 min into first part - "Surveying your body", I suddenly got into this very weird and pleasant state.

I lost feeling of contact with sofa. As if I was floating on water bed made out of energy. It was moving like a waterbed would, slight wavy sensations and energy.

This part "survey of body" is guided meditation. Voice is telling me to pay attention to certain parts of the body and to experience them any way I can. Either feel the skin, bones and such, or experience it as energy.

I my mind I said "energy" and when thinking of parts of body, I was first time actually able to feel them. Like "top of my head" I was actually aware of it and felt it. Same with knees, ankles and so forth.

It put me to sleep rather quickly.

Wednesday 7/10/13

Last night bed 1am - 8am

DR - I'm visiting family S in WV. Seems they are not home yet, so I'm walking through the neighborhood. Nice, clean, typical SoCal suburb, lack of green though. I walk by a local park with a lake. Everything is dry. Dusty dirt around the lake. Two swans with dirty feathers are standing up and flapping their wings, craning their necks. There is also a crane. And something I think it's another dirty large bird, but it turns out to be a homeless woman in while tethered blankets.

Now we are at the amuzement park. I offer to push a stroller. We came to some place and the woman is telling me to leave our purses and keys there, they will be ok. I'm like "purses and keys, really?". I don't wanna leave them, and then come back for them, or have them stolen. There is someone standing near me and I'm thinking he is stealing from my purse, but it turns out, he was putting there something for me to smuggle it. I find a key we thought we don't have.

We come to a bus/trolley stop. But the attendant tells us, bus doesn't come to this last stop. We have to walk to the nearest station. I think we are telling the attendant to make sure to tell his superiors, that that's a dumb idea.

We come up the hill and there is a bus standing. I'm trying to figure out where to buy the ticket. Booth or the driver. Turns out that the woman has some tickets for me.

We sit down and womans husband gets on. They talk and he is scolding her for something. Behind me is a mirror window and in the adjacent room, some kids are fighting. We look but it's not our kids.

Kids are playing with oversized ipod shuffles, that have screens. Someone is showing me some pictures on it.

This was very vivid and detailed. The people were abosulutely spot on. They looked like in waking life. I have not seen them in years, but this dream helped me recall their exact likeness.

Day 2 Yoga Nidra

Day before yesterday I played the first track - Survey of body.

Today I played 61-point relaxation 16 min
It's basically guiding you to be aware of sertain points on your body. No flexing of muscles involved as I have read about in other guides.

I was not sleepy at all when I started, but after about 10 min (and first 5 of these, my cat was laying on me), by the time we got to the right toes, I was falling asleep. Didn't realize it, untill his voice jolted me up every now and them. He tells you to be aware of a part, then he is quiet for about 8 sec and then he continues. So these 8 sec were enough for me to be dozing off.


Ascending Breath 14 min
This is guided breathing excercise. You inhale at certain parts of the body up to the top of the head. I guess this also keeps your awareness at those parts of body.

and Yoga Nidra 16 min
This is to keep awareness at the space between brests and to go deep into silence.

There is no music on this CD, only this calm voice. Each track was only 99cents, so I figured I have nothing to lose.

tuesday 5/14/13

Had a bunch of dreams last night. Something about chicken spoiling in the fridge. Then I woke up and discovered that cat went potty.

Took a nap but didn't get anywhere. Just fell asleep. But last nigt, watching tv on sofa, got really sleepy and closed my eyes. Got HH in under 15 seconds and felt myself like flying or shifting.