non-lucid

I feel myself going lucid, like an energy going up my body, I feel like I'm "falling" in lucidity but I suddenly feel a weird knot, like something close to my stomach, a ball forms? I wake up before I can totally get control of the dream.

I'm in a warehouse with my elementary school class, big windows in front of me show a field and some trees in the distance, sun is coming up. We start doing a dance and I somehow take over, leading it, everyone dances around me in synch except I'm doing different moves. It ends with me doing the Sun Salutation as the sun rises in a golden haze. Afterward I walk to a teacher to my left who commends me for the dance. I say that it wasn't too good, offering a far too simple view of native cultures as close to nature, a modern view imposed on them.

I follow a man with a brief case down a city street. We enter a large glass, modern hotel or office building. I think he's going to do something bad, like rob the place or extort money. As he does that I go up the transparent glass elevator. In the hall there is a bunch of people sitting and standing, like a reception for someone, or a party. I talk to the CEO, a young, handsome guy. He says environmentalist have put a bomb in the building. I panic, instantly accepting my fate. I'll die here. Then I suddenly gain some courage. Can I escape? I go down the elevator, almost out. In the lobby by the front door, sun is shining through the windows, I see a young woman in a white baggy t-shirt and a sign, an environmentalist protesting. As I exit I whisper to her "I agree with you."

I walk briskly out, the bomb can go off any second. As I cross the road and head toward the train station I hear a rumble, behind me a cloud of dust and chaos. I run toward the central train station, people are screaming and trams are crashing. Inside the train station, trams are crashing through the walls, and so are buses. I don't know where to stand, any false move and I'm dead. I stand paralyzed. A mutilated and almost blind bus driver comes out of the break room, he's been out of work for years but because of the emergency he can now work as everyone is now preoccupied.

I see a rat catcher that looks like John Goodman. He says he's killed almost all of the 5000 rats in the train station, but the remaining 800 left are as tough as nails, the fittest survive the longest.

Dream 1: X-Files Taped on VHS
The first episode of the new season of X-Files is on. I try to get to the living room of the old apartment from my childhood but I'm somehow stuck in my old bunk bed. It's dark outside. I'm missing it! Somehow I get up and I see that my mom is watching it on VHS, she taped it. I see the episode, it's in amazingly high quality, no distortion to speak of. I look at the VHS player, it's pretty new. That must be the reason. Mulder by the edge of a forest at night. I try to rewind it to the beginning but my mom says she wants to watch it to the end since she started. Using the rewind and fast forward features are hard. It goes back but then forward all of a sudden. It starts to speed forward out of control, what am I going to do? I try to stop it but it stops in a stomach-lurching crash, that sounded like it wasn't good for the tape. Now I can see distortions in the tape as it plays back. Now since I've seen the whole video is rewind it's like I've seen the episode and there are no surprises anymore.

Dream 2: Dinosaurs on the Loose in Jurassic Park
I'm in Jurassic park, it's been renewed and looks new like in the Jurassic World movies. I'm in an area that looks like a modern airport terminal, lots of windows. Outside where one would usually see the tarmac of the runway there is thick jungle, the sky is dark like a storm is brewing. There seems to be some problem, an emergency and staff try to cram people out into a safer area. There is however a group of rich tourists who refuse to move, having paid a great deal to get to the park. A fat tourist guide like Dennis Nedry sides with the rich tourists and tries to come up with a tour on the spot. As they start to get together to move I see dinosaurs outside are getting agitated, the sky is getting darker than it was, lighting is striking making the dinosaurs even more upset. Nedry says that usually they let tourists take pictures during thunderstorms, the pictures are way more impressive. He can't give an answer as to why the rest of the staff doesn't want them to now.

The dinosaurs rush the terminal. Pandemonium breaks out. People are running around, dinosaurs are running down the halls. I first try to run to one end of the terminal but Nedry yells that there's a T-Rex there. I run in the opposite direction. I see large dinosaurs running down the hall that looks like the malls that can be found in many airports. Some of the dinosaurs are still skeletons, running down with massive amounts of energy. Where am I going to go?

I run into the women's bathroom, I hope no one is in there. It's a cramped toilet, my head almost hits the ceiling and my shoulders scrape on the metal walls of the stalls. I run into one stall to hide, maybe I'll be safe here. I try to duck down so women who enter the bathroom won't see I'm here. I see Jerry Seinfeld in the stall in front of mine, the walls of the stalls are so low I can see over them. Another guy enters, I wasn't the only one to have this idea. The bathroom is so claustrophobic and cramped I begin thinking that being outside is the better option.


I'm in a dark room, trying to remember a dream. I start writing it into my journal?!

Dream 3: Performing with Friends
I'm in a small venue, it's dark and windowless like a basement. I'm going to perform with two of my friends. There are a lot of bands lined up to play before and after us. I talk to a woman about getting her bass amp working. It's a "virtual" amp and can be used as a program or as a holographic projection, I pull the amp out of thin air. (???) After some talk with my friend about what we are going to play and talking to some of the patrons we get up on stage. We start to play and it's going really well, really getting into the vibe of it, we get a a good beat going. I play a solo that goes really well, but gets a little crummy to the end. After the first song I realize my guitar isn't plugged in. I try to put it into the amp behind me. As I try to play there is some kind of distortion like a song is playing in the amp that isn't in synch with the song we are playing. Is is radio distortion. I see on the face of the amp that a video image is playing like a TV, how do I turn this off? I ask my friend who is in front of me and we try to pluig my guitar into the other amp. It also is playing the same TV program on the face of the amp, two people walking in a yellow field on a grey day like a documentary on rural life in the UK.

After our set I see that one band made of girls has drawn little cute female characters in colored pencil on paper, it's on the table. Someone submerges the paper into water for the effect of the characters swimming in the water, they shine. This angers the band, the drawing is ruined. I think it looks pretty cool.

Dream 4: Eating Canned People
I'm a a friend's place. She is there with her husband and oldest son. I'm playing withe kid as the two of them are sitting on the sofa by the window of the balcony. (not its usual place). She talks to me about the stuff I'm learning, maintenance and fixing things. She and her husband start fighting when he mentions that learning to fix things is useless since everything breaks at some point anyway. I try to remove some of the pressure of the argument by saying that it's precisely that things break that I want to learn how to fix them. Despite this, my friend is still angry with him.

On a sofa across from them, I take out a small can that has a person inside. It looks like a sardine can and I ask their son if he's interested in trying some. The person is small and smooshed into the can, the head and face take a lot of room, and the face is all messed up. I pull out a piece, and despite my trepidation about eating something I've never tried, I try the piece I tore off, just to show a good example to the kid. It's always good to try new things. He looks nervous but takes a piece anyway. I begin to wonder, isn't cannibalism taboo?

I go outside to check on my motorbike, it's cold, dark and snow is on the ground. It looks like where my grandparents lived up north. The bike was my grandfather's from the war. When I get to it I see it has been stripped for parts, the motor stolen. The saddle, like a bicycle's, is balanced on the top of the frame. I'm really angry and sad, how did this happen? It wasn't out for a very long time. How am I going to break the news to my grandfather, I'm sure I locked it. I'm about to go inside but I'm scared to break the news to him.

I pace outside, now I can't even leave this place, that bike was my only way out of here. I'm really upset about the whole thing. I wake up feeling some relief.

I'm back at my old workplace at the gas station talking to a friend there before I start the night shift. There is a rock climbing wall where the soda machine was, I mention if he's into that stuff still as I climb up the wall a little. He says he mostly into parkour. I'm about to mention a friend of mine who's also into wallclimbing but ramble on about a how I know him and never get to the end of my story. Customers rush in and I have to start serving them.

They are all middle-aged and obnoxiously drunk. The familiar stress of so many people vying for my attention. I do my best to serve them and my co-worker friend disappears. There are too many of them and they get behind the counter, drunk and not carrying. This aggravates me until I reach my breaking point and yell out for everyone to get out. They all laugh and ignore me. This makes me very angry and I stare at them with contempt and rage and they eventually leave. One middle-aged woman turns and comes back just to spite me, smiling a drunk smile. I yell at her but she does not react. I charge at her and she still refuses to move. I stop right in front of her. With contempt, I tell her I pity her and turn around. As I do she fakes that I hit her and she falls on the ground under a table. I turn around, knowing what she's up to, and not wanting any misunderstandings with anyone else. I jab her with my finger in the side and she jolts up. I sigh and go away.

Back at the counter I see two of my friends, what a relief. They are dressed as rockabillies, slicked hair and leather jackets. I greet them and tell them it's the same stuff as usual. They are with to Swedish speaking girls. I try to speak Swedish but it sounds absolutely ridiculous. We all laugh as I try to pronounce the price of their purchases. One of my friends tries to get me through a hoop of rope. As my feet go through it knocks a blueberry plate unto the ground from a table, my sister is sad at it breaking. Can it be replaced?

I wake up, write the dream down and try to float into sleep gently. See hypnogogic images of melting cubic people and people with only single numbers carved into their heads as faces.

Walking down a crowded alley of a tightly built European city. The buildings rise up on either side, shading the streets below. I'm with two French or Dutch couples. They talk about a magic powder they have smuggled. I get water as they all order pizza, one of the woman looks at me with disdain.

I'm in front of Big Ben in London, a cloudy day. I see graffiti all over a double-decked bus except it's an ad for fast food. Is it the magic powder showing me the real state of the world? That ads are graffiti by companies?!

I see a booth in the road, a warlock works in it, an old British man, who punishes people who break rules. If someone comes late to work, he punishes them by locking them up in his shack. "If you're late, you do time."

There is a Vice City-style shootout. People in the house are all dead. I'm confused... Have I done this? Oh God, what am I going to do? I see three people I know gunned down on the floor in different rooms of the cluttered house in the city, two cats also lie motionlessly on the ground. I worry, thinking of what I've done and what is going to happen to me. I walk down and see the cats, they still seem to be faintly breathing. I try to pick one up, it's in pain, I don't know how to hold it. I have to get it help. Doing that will show everyone what I've done. What have I done? What can I do?

I look around to see if someone else is breathing or moving, no one is. I try to get used to the fact that everything is going to end. Two other friends enter the house, sitting down by a few steps, haven't they noticed what has happened? When will they and what will they do?

I tried some FILD before falling asleep.
A little after falling asleep I go lucid, surrounded by darkness. I'm unable to keep it up and "fall" into an awake state. I immediately begin falling asleep again but I'm still a bit aware, I feel myself becoming paralyzed. At first this is exciting, I haven't experienced this since childhood. As I lose more and more control I begin to fear a pang of fear, not sure I want to go into SP after all. I begin to try as hard as I can to turn on my stomach and as I do I feel my body lumber toward the left. As I turn I see my body flump over and I'm looking down at it in the dark room, slowly floating up. Thinking this is also a sort of bad idea, I push myself back into my body and fall into the darkness of sleep.

I'm in the shoe department of a department store with some skater dudes. As I follow them I get bored and try to do a handstand but accidentally hit someone in the head with my feet, a father passing by. I feel embarrassed that I did that. The skater kick me on the ground as punishment, I accept it. As they kick me in the face, I feel that it is becoming a bit excessive.

I'm in a large, fancy house. One side of it has large windows that show the street, it's in the city. It's night time and I go up to the second floor where a hall circles the first floor. There is a show on with William Shatner about UFO's. I decide to draw aliens with ink in a notebook, perhaps they will come to life? (??) I draw one from behind, his large black eyes visible from the sides of his head despite it.

Back on the first floor of the house, it's now late afternoon, golden sunlight. There are a bunch of my friends down there. (The house must be one of theirs?) A friend bring chocolate mousse cheesecake, it's really good. I ask a friend of mine I see there if we are going to reschedule our meeting up that we missed last week. She says Tuesday would be good. We can meet in the local McDonald's.

Out back there is a large, fenced backyard with lots of bird cages. I see one on the patio, it has a small delicate bird in it and I feed it. I begin to fly around the backyard, I guess I have a jetpack? I zoom around feeding the various birds in their cages, they are on multiple levels, suspended and resting on large trees. The last of the birds are a bunch of chickens in a coop up on a tree. I try to feed them, but not too much.

I go back to my friends, it's dark outside and they are now out in the yard. My friend complains he ran out of candy, I laugh nervously saying that happens sometimes. His girlfriend seems upset about it and my friend yells out at me for eating so much. I feel a sting of shame.

Out back I see two robots that look like they came from the Warhammer 40K universe. A few criminals, badass skater guys, take me hostage as they drive off in a convertible to escape the law. We drive down the sepia colored evening road, it's like LA. There are two demons with us that look like a few monsters from the Nickelodeon show "Aaahh!!! Real Monsters". They try to drive the guys insane, rubbing up against them as they whisper vile things. "I will be inside you soon...."

Fragments

Outside the old apartment I lived in childhood. It's dark. I see a leather jacket on the ground, looks like a biker jacket. A spirit lives on it?

In a funeral home, it's very shadowy. It's a place where you can leave your bodily fluids on the coffin to feel closer to the dead. I go down a cramped elevator, my hand it wet with goo and it feels disgusting.

I see Homer and Marge from the Simpsons and an alternate version of them. They are a lighter color and have totally different personalities.

In a hypnogogic state, I feel a cat jump on my back and walk up to my head and falls asleep on it.

Mostly fragments. I tried WBTB with no success.

Dream 1:A Vampire Comes Knocking
I outside on a dark autumn evening, a large gravel field is to my right, a house in front of me. Eric, from True Blood, tries to get inside but can't since he wasn't invited in. He's now trapped between two doors leading to places he hasn't been invited. He just waits for the police to show up. Jail must suck if you live forever...
I walk out to the gravel field in the moonlight.

I go into the house. In the attic room I see my friend's two cats, the one that is big and the small one that is white.

Dream 2: In the Airport
I'm in an airport, I think it's a German one. It's overcast outside. I try to find my way to the plane I need to make, where is the gate? There is a large crowd. I see some people getting off of a plane, one is carrying a paper bag with Zen enso on it, he must have come from a convention. I wonder where it was, I'd like to go.

Turning around I see a busy friend of mine in the crowd.

Dream: A Continuous Trip in the City
I get on a tram in the center, right as I get in and the doors close, I see that there are ticket inspectors standing in their blue uniforms. I don't have a ticket! I panic and try to open the door of the tram but it starts moving. Defeated, I wait for them to come and give me a fine. They stand there, doing nothing, not checking anyone's tickets. Outside, I see the streets are chocking with blue uniformed ticket inspectors between the tall buildings. Is this some kind of campaign?

I get off the next stop, it's right by the large cathedral. It's a grey day, snow is on the ground. I see that a paramilitary nationalist group is attacking a ministry building. It's a stand still, the nationalists wait outside as the soldiers in fatigues defend the ministry in a snow fort kind of thing. The nationalists have a snow complex across the road as well. I go toward the nationalists line, as if I was a bystander just looking around. I keep in mind that I shouldn't say anything, my accent will aggravate these people, they're usually racists after all. The soldiers defending the ministry pelt me with snowballs from across the street, they all miss. As one comes in I'm able to catch it in the air. This impresses the nationalists.

I walk down into the snow complex, as if I'm an embedded reporter, I think to myself, reporting from the front lines. My friends will be jealous. I see people inside, there is a ceiling and everything, this place looks like a room from the inside. I hear a woman in fatigues, surely a part of the group, speaking with a Russian accent. How are they OK with that? Is it that she gave up her Russian identity to join them?

A middle-eastern man is there, which surprises me. He is there with an elder from his village, he wants a divorce from his wife and they are in negotiations. What a weird group to negotiate something like that. The place has lots of shelves, it looks like there are manga and comic volumes in here.

I meet my sister in the city center where she worked in a courtyard. I see how one of the women who works at a store locks up for the night, a long process. Turning off the lights, the shop is going to reopen in two hours. What's the point of closing for only two hours?!

Inside a shop my sister shows me the inside of a discount coffee machine. I look into it and it is covered in a white grease, lard, that has brown discoloration. It must be a cleaning agent. I see the lard coming out of a nozzle like soft-serve ice cream. It's actually making coffee out of lard. My sister says this coffee is free that comes out of this machine. Seeing the process, I understand why.

A stink begins to creep in the store. I go into the hall where the other store entrances are, it's like rotten eggs. Where is it coming from? My sister tells me to go find out. I walk down the hall and to the end I see some middle-aged guys in glasses looking at a ventilation vent. They work at the photoshop at the end of the hall, they are going to fix it. Walking back I see Rick from Rick & Morty has a shop here too, it's is a dark blue shack with a tiled hexagon design to it.

I go to the store in the hall, it has sandwich coolers full of lunch items. There is a lot of fruit there. I see Jennifer Aniston by the checkout lines she's eating a bowl of corn flakes and says that they are a new kind of cereal she eats. What is she going on about? Corn flakes have been around for over a hundred years!

I look at the fruit in the coolers, lots of exotic fruit as well. I'm glad they have this option these days. I talk to my sister, I mention wanting to eat only fruit for lunch. She is skeptical of the idea.

We go downstairs with an escalator, there is a bookstore there that also sells art supplies, it looks very modern. I look at some of the stuff. I flip through a comic book volume with a distinctive style. The lines are bold and the shading is delicate. The main character is a anthropomorphic illuminati sign, like Bill Cipher from Gravity Falls. How isn't this copy right infringement? I see A3 paper and coloring pencils going for less than a euro a piece. I fish through my pockets and find two euro coins, I can get them! I pick them up but the paper is hard to get out of the sales bin, I then give up, I want to save the money for coffee with a friend later. Walking away, I tell my sister I already have a lot of art supplies, in a way I just wanted to buy the idea of making art, instead of the hard and sometimes frustrating process of actually making it.

I had a few dreams before all of these, but stupid me lacked the energy to write them down as I woke up and fell asleep again. I believe they may have been variations on a theme that follow on into the dreams below.

Dream 1: The Dictator's Wife
The sun is setting, I see trees, I'm outside a summerhouse kind of place. I open a fridge, I see bottles of health drinks. I take one. A car pulls up, it's big like a camper. Out comes a dictator, pompous and wearing an elaborate uniform, he reminds me of Gaddafi. He is with his wife, she is a blonde, white woman with huge hair and a skirt, a jacket with padded shoulders, she is like a televangelist's wife in appearance.

She is very vain and stuck up. Her face is painted on the doors of their car and on walls inside the camper. It looks like her husband was a bit cheap when it came to the painter because despite being able to make out the pictures are of her, they look like they were painted by a child. This doesn't seem to bother her.

Dream 2: Dangers of Fast Food
It's like I'm on a train, her face is on the walls here too? I get out, I'm in a newly built, modern town, I see modern looking apartments. The sun is rising, the sky is a faint and gentle morning blue. As I walk I'm suddenly faced with a documentary style explanation, with stock footage and all, of why fast food is dangerous and bad for you. It is full of fat and even the healthier options, like a fillet-o-fish, are full of bad stuff, I see one in in a wrapper like an ad, except it is dripping with vile grease.

I make it to a parking garage with a McDonald's drive-thru. Two men, one older and one younger, from El Salvador, walk to the drive-thru. They do not know the dangers, and even being told them doesn't seem to have an effect. It smells too good, the older man says.

It cuts to them lying on the ground, their backs against a bulletin board, stomachs bloated, they couldn't help themselves. The president of El Salvador comes across a grassy lawn, he has come to help his countrymen to understand the dangers and to help them get up. The older man gets up, telling the younger one to be sharp, this is the president after all.

I see a train with a conductor. He is going up the civil service ladder. More documentary footage rolls before me, showing how the civil service works and how people go up from the lowly ranks of ticket checkers to conductors all the way to officials in government. Conductors in the first car are the most prestigious and get the best benefits because they are in more danger if a car full of explosives drives head-on into the train.

To my left I see a burnt out train car, the tracks in front of me being where the scene has faded into reality, a train passing by with a conductor being visible.

Behind me there is a hospital room. I enter it and there are green tiles on the walls, curtains. A child has been brought in. He has diabetes. His vain mom refuses to believe he could have it. Another, poorer and more humble mother, is also with her child with diabetes. She accepts the news gracefully. A creepy kid in big coke-bottle glasses distorting his eyes, slowly puts a syringe of insulin into the richer kid's neck.

Dream 3: Doing my homework
It's a hectic day in class. People are being noisy and belligerent. In class on desk we are given homework for the holidays. As people leave I decide to do it right there, it won't take too long. We have to copy an ad from a piece of paper onto the back of a newspaper. It's for some find of mech or ghost thing. (Imagery is from Ghost in the Shell). I copy the green fonts on the newspaper's black background, the letters look like gibberish, but it could just be the font. As I do this an Asian kid, one of the "too cool for school" kinds, asks me why I'm doing the homework now, it takes only a few minutes and can be done the Sunday before school starts again. I say I rather do it now so it's out of the way.

A teacher with a new haircut comes and asks me if I know how to make electrical drawings for houses. He shows me a picture of the electrical wiring of a house, it's a square and the right upper and left lower corner is clipped off. I try to ensure him that I can.

Dream 1: Forbidden Rat Trap
I'm outside and the sun is out, it looks like a late summer or earlier autumn afternoon. It's an open space with some trees out further behind me: I'm on a rock and the flatness stretches forward below me. There is a fenced area on the rocks. I'm with a bunch of young guys and we all try to get over the chainlink fence, there is something in the center of the restricted area we all want to see. I'm able to climb over it with a fair amount of ease after looking at it for some time. Of the around 15 people only two or three can't make it over the fence right away. We look at the thing on the ground, some kind of weird mechanical device.

We hear people coming and everyone jumps and climbs the fence. I'm able to get over quickly but see that two people can't climb the fence and escape, they're stuck in the enclosed area. I know I can run and dart into the woods like everyone else but I stay, I can't leave these guys behind. A bunch of middle-aged guys come there, fat and mustached, they look pretty ragged, and ask us what the hell we're doing. I nervously say we were interested in the device in the area and nothing more.

We enter the enclosed space and look at the device. They are about to show one of the guys how to repair it. I quickly take a place by them to see how it's done. It turns out to be a rat trap a long line of wire comes out that is kept mechanically in place with a kind of clip. The rat eats the wire and it triggers a spring that breaks its neck.

Dream 2: Going to Beat Up a Robot
I'm in a machine shop with a teacher. He is taking apart a fairly complex machine with many gears and moving parts, I see he is looking at some drawings that have the complex assembly laid out, it is drawn in a dark, shadowy ink like something from Warhammer 40K. His intention is to fix a part that has worn down in it. I look around the small machine shop, it looks like a classroom, the large lathes and milling machines take up most of the space. Students are there also doing work with the machines. I try to get a peak at the drawing and machine the teacher is working on. There is a female student there as well looking at it. He mentions a few pieces need to be repaired and re-machined. I say I want the hardest one to fix, it better my skills. I hope he chooses me.

There is a robot in the class, is it the programming for the CNC lathe? I only know it is menacing and needs to be defeated. I ask it how to make a mech exoskeleton, as if I was working for it. It says there is a suit in the back room. I enter teh dark, cluttered room and I see an exoskeleton like in Aliens. I see what need to be repaired but it looks of. I jump in and strap myself into it, There is little protection for my body but my legs and arms now control large hydraulic lifts.

I walk into my class, ready for anything. I see a classmate is also wearing a suit, we fistbump our large metallic fists together. Walking down the class, the robot is gone.

Dream 3: A Mysterious Machine and a Metro Tunnel
After not finding the robot I join the rest of my class to a dark, windowless and cramped storage area. There is a caged area to our left. The teacher opens it. There is something there that is mysterious and odd, as if I can't make it out as it is so alien to normal life. I'm not sure if this is the impression I had in the dream or if it's just that I don't remember what it was. I get the sense that is was a mechanical device of some kind, but it was special, unique and weird. Were we to repair it or admire it?

I leave and go to another class. I knock on the door and my old class is there, they are all by computers. Delicate white sunlight comes from the slightly shaded windows to the left. The computer classroom is also very cramped. Everyone is happy to see me, there are smiles and greetings. Everything is very vivid. I try to see if I can get a computer from somewhere and quietly work on my stuff. The small class has no computers free. A few students I know smile and ask how I'm doing.

I'm in the central metro station. It feels like it's morning, many of the kiosks are not open. I walk around, I'm in a three piece suit. I see my dark reflection in a plexiglass window. This is just like my dream a few nights ago, I think to myself. (!) I see others from my class. They are also in suits and dresses, is this some kind of graduation event? Who or what are we all waiting for? I break from the rest of my class to see if there is a good place to put a sticker down, that way I can see it next time I'm here and realize I'm dreaming. (!!) I think of the metro area in the game Yume Nikki.

Dream 1:ish
I'm walking in someone's backyard in a garden along a stone path. It's a party run by Bill Cosby. As I walk down the path made of individual stepping stones I feel that they are very hot and have to walk briskly so I don't burn the soles of my feet.

In an old villa, there is an exhibit on show that describes the haunted history of the place. I see old grey pictures on displays, a door is presented as a part of a haunted house, it's white and sepia from dirt. Getting too close to it is not a good idea.

Dream 2
I'm in a house on the second floor. Train tracks run through the house, the far wall is almost gone and I can see the cool blue summer sky at night. I run to put something onto the tracks and as I do I see a train rumbling down. I try to place the object (a ceramic key, perhaps?) so it stays on the rail and then run for it. The train swooshes by crushing the object. I do this again with another object as well. It's rewarding and therapeutic.

I'm with an older guy, like a dad. He looks like Jefferson D'Arcy from Married with Children. This is his kids room. I see Marcy D'Arcy as well. As they leave the son, a kid who's like 14, hands me a bong and wants to play video games. I reluctantly carry the bong around as he gathers some games to play. I leave the bong on the floor as I gather some stuff on the ground. I follow the kid down to his room that's now to the right.

His parent's come back and as they enter the room from the hallway the kid asks me about the bong. I realize that I left it on the floor in the other room. I try to walk out past the parents and to the bong. I pick it up and try to hide it by carrying it behind me at an angle. The parents come and ask me why I'm standing so oddly. Defeated I show them the bong. They are shocked and I immediately take the blame, saying that it's mine. I don't want the young kid to get in trouble and it's my fault they saw it as I left it so carelessly. I tell them I'm about to throw it out as I don't do that stuff anymore.

I plan to go outside and hide it so the kid can pick it up later. The dad follows me and offers to show me a place I can throw it out. I insist that I don't need any help and I find it really annoying that he is following me so very closely to ensure that the bong gets thrown out. I walk somewhere toward the kid's room and now it's dark and shadowing and jazz musicians are playing in the back-lit shadows.

Dream 3
Phasing straight from the previous dream, I'm outside in a concrete city suburb. Large daunting concrete apartments rise from around, a few trees in concrete planters. I walk up to a skate park, I see concrete skate ramps covered in tags. Can I put mine there somewhere? There's no good places, I lack the courage anyhow.

Dream 4
I'm walking down a gravel path down the forest by my house. It's a very sunny autumn day. I find a place by the rocks to crouch and drink a beer. (???) I'm supposed to meet a woman soon, I'm somehow Skyping with her. She is a hardcore, tough as nails kind of person that reminds me of a friend of mine.

I walk down the path and see ice slicks in the yards. I walk down one, it's the yard of an old woman, she has a little frozen gnome statue. I slip and fall on the ice.

A very vague night of dreams. Tried WBTB, faded in and out of a light sleep.

Fragment
Vague image of a X-Files episode set in Australia, in the dusty outback. Mulder by the back of an open trunk of a jeep?

Dream 1
Rainy rivers form on the slanted hill of asphalt outside an industrial hall, the sun is rising behind the trees lower down, the sky is a purple-orange. I try to get a large stagnant puddle moving down the hill with my feet, kicking water to the left and then down the small trickle of a river. It's not very efficient. I think Batman comes up, am I working for him?

A group of feral cats come up by the puddles, they are thin and weird looking like the Devon Rex breed. I look at one, a bit confused. At least I'm getting rid of the water, it won't bother these cats anymore.

I'm walking down a narrow and dark shopping mall hallway, there is a restaurant to the right. A mother and daughter exit the place and pass right in front of me with trays of noodle soup. Looks good.

I enter the well-lit central Metro station. It's like I'm back in high school, there are young kids around forming cliques. There are some mean girls sitting by a group of desks in front of a chalkboard right in the middle of the metro station. They are talking about a picture on the back page of a newspaper,it's a risque picture of one of the unpopular girls in white lingerie posing for an ad? as they laugh I'm acting indifferent and cool. I try to give the impression that I don't care for this kind of high school stuff, I walk away in a plaid shirt like the badass cool kid, feeling really tough.

Dream 1
Fragment: I see a friend of mine in a university library. He gives me some books I need to read. I meet his girlfriend. When he leaves the girlfriend points out a guy dressed as a woman who is playing a nasty trick on my friend. I'm going to start dating this impostor and then let him know I'm aware of his deceit.

Dream 2
I'm in a decrepit house in an American suburb. The sky is an oppressive grey, a muggy day. The front door is by the side of the house, have to climb some stairs. Inside the house is a mess. The walls and floor are stained with filth, the place looks condemned. The path has been made through all the junk and trash on the floor. I walk down the makeshift path to the wall by the far wall. There is a few windows facing the drive with thin curtains. There is a computer there and I start to watch some smutty porn on it. It is as if the women in the clips enter the house? They look manic and desperate and it makes me fee bad. I try to pull the curtains so children can't see this. I can't really get the curtains straight. I get up and try to lock the front door and cover the screen on it.

Dream 3
Back in the house, it's night time. I'm not sure if this happens before or after the previous sequence. There is a bright, dramatic light inside. It looks like the second floor has collapsed halfway and makes a ramp from the front door up. On the second floor I see a naked woman to the right. She is lying on the floor in a suggestive position. It's as if she has features that are hidden from plain sight. Like they are out of synch with normal reality, I see red muscular ribbons shift in and out around her. There is a demonic vibe to it. Despite this, I approach her like a moth to a flame...

Dream 4
In the house, it has changed again. It looks more stable now and not as destroyed, it looks more like an apartment now with filthy and stained wall. I'm in a living room, there is a large window to the right that is letting in a bluish grey morning light. There is a lamp to the left side that is giving off a yellowish light. I'm in a circle with a group of friends. It feels like a normal social thing, just talking, but at some point we begin to summon our personal demons. (?)

A big muscular demon appears and is seated on a chair in the ring, we are all on the floor. He has a skull mask on that overs the upper part of his face. Metaphysical flames emanate from his body with a weird red and orange glow. He begins to speak to us, he is telling us forbidden things and trying to make us make deals?

One of my friends summons her demon. It is a female demon with the same kind of skull mask but is pretty petite and is wearing a leather biker jacket. Purple flames are coming from her. It seems to be the male demon's daughter. She is out of control and tries to take over the conversation, she wants to make demands instead of listening. Her father scolds her for this but she yells out an infernal "shut up!" and I focus on her evil skull mask. Her father's jaw snaps locked and shut.

She decides she is going to take what she wants. My friend's sister has a small daughter with her and the demoness swoops the child up and takes her out the window over the balcony. A large airline trolley full of beer and alcohol is left behind, just popping into existence behind her, as if to pay for the child. The group runs out to try to get the child. I'm left there with my friend. I go out to the balcony and yell out we have beer here, there's no need to leave!

Alone with my friend, I look around the empty apartment. I guess my party ended. It's pretty boring here now. We go into the kitchen. I see an old fridge that I try to turn on. Inside there is an old bottle of Tabasco in it, extra spicy kind, left by the old resident. It's really warm in the fridge, I think the rolls I left in it are going to go bad. The light in the kitchen is depressing. My friend begins to suggest she is about to leave, I'll be left alone her. It's going to be so boring. I see on an old wooden spice shelf by the door out of the kitchen a plastic beadboard picture. How quirky. I now have a place of my own, it is horrible and rotting, but it's my own. I should change my address.

I have a false awakening. I write down the details about the fridge and the Tabasco and the beadboard into my dream journal. How real it felt! Like I was really there! After writing it down it all goes black.

I'm out in a place in the desolate north, a motel of some kind. The sky is grey and there are tree and gravel around. I'm with my family, like a family trip from back in the day. I go inside and see my cousin and my sister. It is as if this is our last day here and we are about to leave. My sister pulls out a Go board and want to play a game, to my complete surprise. I agree and we start playing. My sister is playing black and we play, I'm able to get a strong opening going. I've always wanted a Go board. A thought flickers through my mind, doesn't Go have a white starting stone?(it doesn't IRL) My sister captures stones incorrectly and I yell out lightheartedly, you have to surround the groups before you can take them!

She asks if she can take the board with her, I say yes. I'm with my bike and I want to ask my sister if I can get a ride back with her in her car. She is passive-aggressive and just walks away. I ask my mom when she is leaving and she says Thursday. I'm shocked, that's almost a week away! I can't wait that long here! With little preparation I have to make the long journey home on bike. I mentally prepare for it, I've done this before, I can do it again.

After thinking about the trip, going through the whole trip in my mind I find myself in the center of a city, as if I just transported there from playing the route in my mind. I enter a clothing store, a fancy one you'd find in a shopping mall and I see a friend of mine working behind the counter. There is a window behind her and I can see the street and cityscape through it. I begin talking to her and I mention the crazy trip I'm about to take on the bike. There are a lot of nail products in front of her and I reluctantly show my nails, thinking they are going to be full of grime. Showing them I'm amazed that they are very clean, almost pristine. It must be my diet or something. MY friend shows some new nail products.

A woman with dreads come in. She's from St. Petersberg. She tried to call my friend a few months ago for work. They walk off to talk business and I'm not sure what to do, should I handle the register? I would want to but I'm not too sure as to how to handle it. A bunch of her friends from work, fancy cultured types dressed in hipster garb, come in. I'm swept along with them.

We are in a fancy car going down a gravel road lined with large, decorative trees. Are we going to a spa? My friend is there with her other friend and Dr.Christian Jessen from those British medical shows. Our rich patron, fat and in a suit, sits somewhere. in this limo. They all begin to talk about the state of the world. Each person gives a vox pop style snippet of what they think is wrong with the world, my friend mentions ecological issues and Dr.Jessen mentions health (I think?). I begin to talk about how the Western world exploits poorer nations to get cheaper raw materials and labor costs. Dr.Jessen asks me what "exploits" means and I explain it to him, I feel smart and a bit surprised why he wouldn't know it's meaning.

We stop and get out of the car. We are at some kind of sunny terrace, cobblestone street, very French. Jim Carrey is sitting at a table and gets up. One of his friends is in the car. His friend has a red clown nose on and he gives me a black curly hair wig I put on. In my reflection I look like a teacher I know. How odd.

As they talk I try to get a table to the left in the shade. Two people I know sit there. There is no more chairs and I turn around to ask the people sitting there if I can take a free chair. An elderly African American woman is sitting there with her grandchildren and I ask if I can take one of the three free chairs. She corrects me and says they are not her chairs and that I can't take one, but I can borrow one from the restaurant. I politely thank her despite this snarky response. As I take one and turn I realize it's a children's highchair and turn to take a normal chair, the elderly lady looking smugly at me.

A fragment: Going to my redhead friend's parent's place. It's a grey day. I get there and see a mutual friend of ours is already waiting, doing some kind of work in the bathroom. I try to go around and knock on the back door so I don't disturb his parents. Right as I start to round the building his mom and dad come out the front door. It's a bit awkward. I see my mom is now there too, all our parents are there for some reason and they start to talk to each other.


I'm outside my old apartment, sky is grey. There is a tension in the air, as if something big and bad is about to happen. A war is on the horizon. I really hope they don't launch nukes. As I walk away, I scan the skies for missiles. I think I see an airplane, it makes me jumpy. Is there a nuke going above it? People are upset.

I'm in a plane, it's late at night and dark outside. I'm in the cockpit. The crew is silent and grim. The captain is trying to make sense of readings from the controls, I hear weird pings, a red glow. The nuclear war has started. Being in the air means we've been spared from the worst of the explosions. Where are we going to land? What are we going to do?

I'm in a metal shop. I've made it here with some survivors, an African-American woman with her young daughter, a bearded man and another young guy. We look up and see that the lights are still on, how long will they last? Surely the power plants are not going to last too long without workers or infrastructure, I think of how coal will not be able to be shipped at all. I look around and see some welding equipment, that will come in handy. As people get set up and huddle in a corner I try to get the MAG welder working. I pull on the trigger and line comes out and doesn't stop. I try to get the coiling line under control, have the nukes caused the machine to malfunction? The young guy comes and take the head of the welding gun and gets it under control.

I turn my head to the left and look outside the wide open sliding door of the shop. I see a bunch of grim, old, butch looking men there, all in their 40's with leather cuts. At first I'm glad more survivors have made their way here but as they enter I feel apprehensive. A guy that looks like Detective Munch from Law&Order comes in, he's also wearing a leather cut. I have this sense that he was a part of our group but left for the new one. They are a weird slaver cult of some kind and the only people who are afforded any rights are the men who earned a vest.

Munch has just gotten his and the power has gone to his head. He wants us to submit and offer the shop to the gang. I angrily yell that we are never going to hand it over to slavers. I go on a long rant about how he could possibly be part of a group like that? What if his children are not up to it to get a vest? How can he want to be a part of such an unequal society? He then proudly claims that men with vests are given all the best virgins and that they bear the best children, ones up for the cut, the vest. I berate him, saying that such a group is absolutely awful. He turns and leaves with the rest of the group.

I turn to the woman and her child. They are relieved that the men have left. There is an old woman with them, she too is relieved however I turn and tell her that they are going to come back and kill all of us and take the women as brides. Our time has come. A relief that comes with giving up washes over me.


I am with my best friend, we go to a large store near our childhood neighborhood. The sky is a purplish grey of setting sun. We enter and see another short friend of ours. We wave and say hi. He's in line for ice cream.

By the fruit section I see a gypsy man carrying an outlandishly large pile of bags on his head. There is even another guy clinging onto the pile, what strength. Next to me one gypsy man is about to lift up a massive pile onto his head. My arm suddenly shoots up and enters his armpit. Why did my arm do that? I feel a bit embarrassed as I walk off.

I see an envelope on an empty fruit stand. It is full of large bills, there must be thousands of euros in it. I'm tempted to take it but as I reach out for it I pull my hand back, it is surely someones money. My sister is next to me and get the attention of a man on the other side of the stand and tells him that the envelope is behind him. He tales it, relieved but looking at me suspiciously.

We get to the frozen section and my sister is about to get some frozen vegetables to fry up. I get the wok warmed up by the end of the aisle, I put oil in and it starts to fizzle right away. I didn't even have the time to chop up any garlic. What am I going to do with all this hot oil? I take out a bag of french fries and put them in. They start to cook beautifully. I take one out and it is almost perfect, a little cold. I walk away to my right, deeper into the dark store.


I'm in my old room from childhood, grey daylight shines from the windows. There is the old computer I had as a kid. What a rush of nostalgia. I'm with some childhood friends, they ask me to boot up a game. I put on a really old game from back in the day, one of those 8-bit classics. I then remember a really cool game and put on Grim Fandango and start to play the beginning, a dark alley. I turn and mention if anyone remembers Riven and I go on to say how much I loved Myst. I find the CD's to my right and hand them to my friends behind me. I quit the game and my friend cries out that he wants to know how Grim Fandango ends. I then continue to play the game,

I sink into the game and it's like a Simpsons version of GTA, shot from above. It's a the center of Springfield at night. Bart is on a rampage, stealing a car and driving over everything. He is then stopped by a cop but then as the cop gets out of his car and tries to apprehend him, Bart takes the cop car and keep on going. Bart is a lot more hardcore these days. He drives into Moe's tavern. It is now closed and abandoned, there is nothing inside but Lenny sitting alone.

I'm on the water of a lake on a grey day. I think I''m floating on something like a log. I float away from the rocky shore, there is a bit of a sheer cliff by it, trees on either side. My grandfather and sister are there. I try to make my way back. My grandfather tries to pull me in but suddenly I zoom in the opposite direction at great speed. I fall into the water and I immediately fish for my cellphone from my jeans pocket, it can't get wet. To my surprise it's still working. I try to swim to the opposite shore where my grandfather and sister are.

In an industrial warehouse kind of place at night. The windows are all black. There are bright, yellowish lights coming from the ceiling. I see two young kids I know, they are being very annoying and aggressive, walking all over me and not listening to me. I have to stand up for myself. I begin to fight with them, we struggle as we fight. They run off and hide to catch their breath. I'm with another person I can't remember who is helping me fend them off. I feel bad for being so aggressive, can't these kinds of things be resolved peacefully? They come at me again and I have to fight them.

I'm at the metal shop, I'm talking to a guy who's asking me if I want to be an instructor here. I say I could, but I only Inventor (a CAD program) and still need practice with SolidWorks (another CAD program). He says that's ok, or just bypasses my comment, and we go deeper into the shop.