non-lucid

I'm walking down a gravel path on a misty grey day through some woods. I'm with a long-haired Swedish reality TV star, he his pretty good looking. We get to a modern looking house my some rocks, do I see the seashore beyond? We enter and their is a group of my friends who are in the creative field sitting in a circle. There are some of their friends there as well that I don't recognize, they all look very fancy and well-dressed like hipsters. I think this is going to be a reality TV show we are all going to be in. I feel special that they wanted me here.

I worry if my friends are angry at me. I sit down by a bed. One of my friends offers me a beer that I politely refuse. I try to lay down in a cool way on the bed. I do my best to be social, I don't need alcohol.

I'm leaving the place, on the same road on a bike. Some middle-aged people pass me on their bikes, it gets hard to pedal. I get up to rest and see that the seat has sunk down, my knees were almost to my head. I adjust the seat and feel relief that the difficulty in pedalling wasn't due to my poor shape.

Waking up in the middle of the night and try to relax, falling asleep only to wake up again. A vague memory of seeing my friend Minna.

I have memory of writing into my dream journal after waking up, upset that I didn't remember any of my dreams.

A fragment: In some kind of large living room, grey daylight streaming in from windows to the left Talking about a menstruation article I read yesterday (IRL), I find the science very interesting and go into it in length. People look at me a bit dazed, I feel self-conscious. Is this a weird thing to talk about? I see my sister and her old friend. Is her friend floating about?

I'm watching an episode of the new X-files. I see mixed shots of Mulder and Scully, they look noticeably older now. It cuts to a scene where an older Scully is sitting at the desk in the X-files office talking to a naval officer that looks like a younger version of herself to her left. It's as if she is giving her advice about how to investigate cases. The older Scully shows a odd, jellyfish-shaped type of foam thing behind her. It pulses softly like the way a jellyfish moves upward in the water. It is made of a white, porous cloth with small streaks of light green and red on it. She say if she gets stressed out she uses this machine to calm down.

After a few vague blurry scenes, I suddenly get up from the TV, I'm in my family's old apartment. It's dark outside, a lamp glares brightly in a corner. I get up and start running. It's winter, the sun is right about to set, orange in the sky. The streets are covered in slush and snow as I run barefoot. I look down as I run, why isn't it cold? I then start thinking why I'm running in the first place, I'm going to miss the X-files episode! I turn back and run on a forested path. It's dark and gloomy there. It's like the sun has set.

I pass a middle-aged guy on the narrow path, snow on either side, the path goes up and down along the terrain. I see that to the right the forest begins to thin out and there are buildings there, it reminds me of where my grandparents used to live. I see a large barn like structure with floodlights around it, there is some kind of tape around it to prevent people passing through it, I'm too curious and have to find out what's happening there. I sneak up by a ledge that runs to the left of the barn-like structure. I crawl trying to hide. Looking down I see some foreign construction workers talking. This place has a paranormal vibe, like something I'm not supposed to know is happening. I see two guys turn and walk up a path that goes up to the ledge I'm on, but they turn and walk away from the direction I'm in. I try to stay completely flat and still, maybe they won't turn around, my face is in the cold snow. As they are about to walk away the lights get brighter and one of them turns around and looks right at me. I stay completely still, petrified, perhaps he'll just turn and leave.

He yells out what I'm doing here. The gig is up. I get up and go down the ramp to the construction area. They scold me, bot severely, just telling me I'm not supposed to be there. A teacher of mine comes up and tells me to follow him, I'm meant to be at the other side of the site. My teacher tells the construction crew that I'm from the other side of the site and tells them I can weld and machine. I nod in agreement, I tell them I can actually help them here, I need to know what's happening here. I begin doing chin-ups on a set of bunk beds. It's surprisingly easy. The rattling it causes gets the top bunk of the three to get slightly out of place. I push it back into place with two other people.

In an industrial hall, grey daylight from the windows, I see the nice, old machining teacher sitting and talking to a student. The students are messing around after he leaves the table, it's aggravating.

I enter a large classroom in what seems like some kind of industrial hall. I enter from a small window to the right. The sun is bright and sunny, afternoon, perhaps morning? I look at the blackboard and the high ceiling, this is an impressive space, why has it been abandoned? I pull out my camera to take a picture, a great urban exploration pic. As I take the picture I hear someone coming, a janitor. I try to move fast to get out of there but I feel slow, like I'm moving through molasses. The janitor notices me and yells at me to get out. I shamefully comply.

I walk through a hall, it has many floors, there are lathes and milling machines about. I see students walk by, I try to make my way silently as to not disturb anyone.

Entering another hall I see a teacher of mine showing a machine to his class. It looks wooden and old. It is a ray gun for a space fighter. It runs on steam and evil energy from the pilot. When the pilot has evil thoughts it mixes with the steam to shoot of dark tentacles of bad energy. It's as if I see an 8-bit energy gauge with a pilot's picture to the right of it.

The teacher gets in an argument with a student and as he's distracted pressure from the steam gathers inside the machine, it's going critical. I want to alert the teacher to this but the argument is getting pretty intense. I can't get a word in. I try to slowly walk away and position myself in a way that would minimize my exposure to an explosion, trying to get behind a corner. My teacher sees a Facebook update where another teacher tells him to lower the pressure already before there is an accident. Despite this, he continues to ignore the problem.

I see my mom in the cafeteria, she is there for a union meeting. The room in a bit dark and shadowy. In a display case by the lunch line I see pieces of carrot cake, like ones I've seen in childhood. If only I had money to buy one.

It's night time, I'm in a suburban center. Inside the shopping mall there are Chinese vendors selling things in small charts. I look at their wares. I see a middle-aged woman ask what's inside one of the large bags in one of the stalls. It is a pink bag of pecan marshmallows. I tell her they are good and she decides to buy them.

Outside I somehow get onto a low-lying roof with my bike. I look at the walls and the poorly executed tags to my left, I look for a place to put mine. With no good place and too much exposure, I hop down with my bike.

I see my sister, she is coming back home on a plane with her girlfriend. Back at my mom's house, I see a friend who recently had a kid, asks me if I want to come over.

At a pizzeria, try to eat a pizza. It tastes so bad I can only eat one slice, unlike me to leave even bad food uneaten. I see a person I haven't seen in a long while there, she got really fat.

Outside, I see a white mouse running through the courtyard. I grab it and eat it. Can't really swallow it, its carcass is between my gums, stuck and it tastes really bad. I try to spit it out but its stuck in there good. I try to do it inconspicuously, I'm spitting up a dead mouse after all. It comes out in pieces, some more recognizable than others.

I see a library/ welding hall. Inside there is a place where you can smash your berries into juice, it's like a giant wooden vice. I squash my berries, but it gets messy, get juice everywhere.

At a friend's house, it's a grey evening, he has a Playstation 3. I ask if he's ever played Child of Eden. He hasn't, says he'll try it out sometime.

It's as if I enter a memory, I see a group of my friends but they are much younger, before I ever even knew them. One of them still has his distinctive beard, even though he's just a kid. We are at the top of a giant waterslide, they tell me to look down. I feel excited that they are letting me into their group.

I set an alarm to look at the blood moon. Falling asleep after hitting snooze, I see a dream of myself in my family's old apartment. It looks like the sun is pretty much out. A crazy fog covers everything, I won't see anything. I feel an odd tinge of relief. Behind me on the sofa a guy I know who said he was going to take pictures of the eclipse is lying down. I tell him that he didn't miss a thing.

Waking up, the dark sky is covered in clouds. I couldn't see the eclipse at all.

I'm watching Jeb Bush take the podium on a stage, he has just won the American presidential election. There is talk that a third Bush says far more about the state of America than a second Clinton.

I'm watching a television program that looks like it's from the late 80's or early 90's, the footage is grainy and old. I recognize a metro station in the background, there are intercity kids who are being interview, they have a belligerent attitude. I try to recognize the concrete apartment buildings against the grey sky, I'd want to visit the place. I see That some of the balcony windows are boarded up and have tags sprayed over them, you don't see that everywhere.

I'm being sent to a military base, I have an injured knee so I come a little late. I make it to see that all of the special rifles we were to be training with have been taken, I feel a bit excluded. This is out in the parking lot outside the base. I see lots of people I knew from school, one wants to join special forces. Inside an armored truck I'm sitting and waiting in, some of the new recruits are shooting at the armored car, I guess they assume bullets can't penetrate the hull. I pull my legs and hand in, just in case. What dolts.

At the base I see an old teacher I knew, I ask him where I should go given that I'm injured and can't do much. He says he'll get right back to me and disappears into a crowd, it looks like there is some kind of fair going on. I pace painfully around looking for something to do. After a while of not seeing him, I flag him down and he apologizes for not getting back to me, he puts me in contact with a receptionist who will put me somewhere. The receptionist is a woman in her 30's and asks me to follow her outside, she is going for a cigarette break. I do, it's sunny outside. I get the impression that smoking on the job is not allowed when she says I can also take a break if I want to. I say I'll just stroll around. Outside the building proper she asks me about my knee and why my right pant leg is pulled up. I tell her it gets injured sometimes and I show how swollen it has gotten.

It's night time and dark, I'm in a a town center. I enter a bar. By a video poker machine a friend of mine puts in his few remaining coins, hoping to hit it big. To my complete surprise he gets a full house and the coins come rushing out the return slot, he and I both smile with excitement. I look at the people in it, they all look a bit odd, some are very short, others have weirdly exaggerated features, I see a few people in wheelchairs without legs. All of them are middle-aged men. The cigar and cigarette smoke is too much for me and I leave, out into the cool night air.

Outside as I walk down the familiar square, the light posts illuminating the street, I see small pictures placed around. They are painted by kids and look pretty abstract, they all have descriptions in two languages under them. Are they made by students of my old school?

By the train station where I left my bike there is a small, maniacal man on a bicycle, he's dressed like a biker with a leather jacket, a bandanna covers his face and he is wearing sunglasses. He is really annoying, driving circles around and around past people, he reminds me of a mosquito that I want to swat. As he passes me again and I turn to look at him I see a guy behind me kick him hard and the guy falls off the bike, what a relief. The maniacal guy gets on the bike again and drives right at me, I kick him in self defense, he hits my right ankle. I wake up with it feeling a bit sore.


In an episode of Rick and Morty, we are in some kind of odd, orange-colored place, the hills warp up and down. Morty is trying to get a giant boat into dock, there is no water though, must be sci-fi boats. In the large hangers I see each boat is named "Giant of the Sea". Rick wonders why all boats are named so lamely.

Gerry is walking around, the parking of the boats, or something else, has torn up the hillsides and the roads, he is pretty confused. An alien doctor gives him a drug that makes him totally content and happy. He continues walking, saying it's amazing that he can just be and feel completely contented, he doesn't even feel as if he'd ever want to take the drug again.

With my mom and sister on a train, outside it looks cold and sunny. We are sitting in the space by the door, as if the train is very full. A conductor comes by to sell tickets, I have no money and just ignore him. Right afterward a ticket inspector comes by, I feel a sting of panic. They check my sister's and my mom's ticket. When the bald, bearded and tough inspector looks at me, my mom says I live really far away, I'm just using this train to connect. I feign illness and a few very good looking female conductors in uniform come and help me out of the train and on to the platfrom. It looks like one of the stops outside the larger city, snowy and busy. I pretend I can hardly stand up and pretend to almost fall over a few times. I feel shame for doing this but also don't want to get a fine. Eventually when I get far enough from the train I "drag" myself away and thank them for helping.

My cellphone rings and it's my friend S who wants my opinion on a board game she is developing. She wants me to come over and take a look at it. I'm walking through the windowless halls of the train station, talking on the phone and at the same time trying to find my way through. I reach another windowless room where I can see a small nursery, orangey light comes from the fluorescent overhead lamps. Turning around to go back down the staircase I reminisce to S how I used to love board games as a kid and had a large collection, I see some board games on a small table before I leave the room, I'm glad she asked me for my opinion.

Buying lobsters and crayfish with my mom on sunny day, I didn't know she liked to at them. We go down a road by the coast where there are lots of wooden cabins that sell them. My sister is nice to me and talks to me about getting life on track. Isee a cousin of mine, there are DVDs on the table, I recognize Who Framed Roger Rabbit and some other 90's movies, haven't watched those in a while. I'm wearing different paired socks. I apologize about falling asleep watching South Park and leaving the TV on.


Sunset, images of a discussion on the religious experience on papyrus or parchment, ink words in Latin. I make out the word "DivinicusHorror", something about awe? Outside an apartment, there are people who live here that started a Reddit thread about the subject. I climb up the stairs outside and get to their door. I hesitate to knock, there are others here with the same thing in mind. As the rest leave I get a sting of courage and I knock on the door. It opens and a young guy answers it. I ask him "hey, heard of about your discussion. Want to talk?", thinking I have nothing to lose. He lets us in, and I start shaking everyone's hands. Some of the handshakes are awkward, our hands go in the wrong place but we nevertheless try to continue the shake.

More people come it. A group of girls come in and I meet one of them. She has a green dress and and I think she has red hair? I ask her where she's from and she says she's from Sweden. I get nervous, say I'm from pretty much everywhere. She holds on to my hand and I swirl her around and I sink into a hypnotic state, I look into her eyes and she continues, says she took the train here. As I swirl her around with my one hand I see her face begins to turn small and white and her eyes become beady and small and black, like an alien.

Fragments

I see a line for a new amusement park ride, it's a grey day. The ride looks like a shifting, neon pink floor. It shifts to the sides and people have to balance as they walk through. It looks like it would be bad for my knees. I see a creepy, middle-aged guy in the line among all the kids. Is he a predator? People swarm around him and he reluctantly walks away.

A vague memory of being told, or maybe just realizing; this is your dream character you must remember. (!)

I'm enter a bookstore in a modern shopping mall. I'm waiting for a friend to finish looking through the books by a shelf on the wall. It's as if the mob is now here and has singled out a guy I know from school claiming he stole a book, it's even a book he already owns apparently. He is angry and yells he did nothing. The gang hones in with a sense of righteous indignation. I try to pull them off, this is not the way to handle this. I'm scared of being swept up in the fury.

Suddenly outside the bookstore in the hall of the mall, the guy pulls out the book and shows he paid for it, the sales rack outside has the right price on it. People drift away shamefully. I know they blamed him only based on how he looks, very rough and tumble. A guy who was in the mob who I tired to stop awkwardly tries to start small talk by a sales shelf, says everyone's a but hungover today. I just nod and say "yeah".

Back in the bookstore, I wait for my friend again. I see a man dressed in an elaborate steampunk style. I see some old Penguin classics on sale, 3 for 1.

With another friend I walk away from the store down the halls of the mall. I mention the books I bought and I offer to give her one. She says she would rather have a 10€ gift card to somewhere. We enter an elevator and as we press the button to go to the top floor the elevator goes so fast that everything shifts and smears. The doors open and there is only an overflowing trash can with a McDonald's employee trying to empty it. The doors close and we go down a floor. The elevator opens again and we see the same scene. Immediately there is a weird sense, how can this be? We turn to each other and then turn back and see that we are on a new floor, the trash can and employee (who was looking very stern) are gone. Weirdness. We get off to try to get into the restaurant proper.

I'm in a concrete park hall kind of place in the middle of a suburban area full of trees and apartments. It is a grey day, sunlight comes from openings in the walls. A guy is swinging around there, there is a Chinese-styled ceiling. I want to join and swing around as well, it looks fun.

I'm sitting by some trees by a road, tall apartment buildings surround me on all sides. Feel oddly meditative. Next to me there is some kind of statue, it's to my right, I think it has something to do with meditation as well? It is round and not obviously supposed to represent any kind of specific form. It suddenly shoots off like a rock from a slingshot, weaving through the buildings. What's that all about?

A dark basement, large, industrial, only a yellowish lamp to one side. Old women there, we are all going to be convicted of crimes. I draw the halls into my dream journal.

I'm in a large area on a terrace, it is overlooking an overgrown jungle scene, like a forgotten temple. I see a guy swinging on a vine, as I think how similar this is to the dream I had I look down at my dream journal and see I've almost completely painted the whole scene, now I won't forget it. It's almost as if it's real now, not just a vague dream.

I see a friend after being chased by a menacing person like Hannibal Lecter. We paint together, although we make nothing memorable, it's nice to get practice. I tell him about Daoism after he mentions having read the Daodejing.

I'm on a small island, I see two humanoid apes with big teeth. I try not to threaten them. Leaving the island, I see a few iron age people. I have to leave, if I'm associated with them, I'll be a wanted man.

On a Russian ship, I have to hide some arcane objects I have, markers and relics, they will be confiscated as things that can deface the ship. Under decks, a sailor prepares a large amount of avocado mush to administer as enemas. I try to quietly make my way out, don't really want to do that.

In a movie theater, showing the old Mortal Kombat movies. I see a few animatronic figures, they go to a fake stone cave on the second floor to turn into Kombatants. One is on a small ledge. A clay-like mass is put on him. He's almost ready to become Sub-Zero, he just needs the extra clay to be punched off in battle.