MoSh's DJ: The Best Dream Journal in The Universe.

Can't load this website on my laptop says security error. I'm using my phone to type. Seemingly rough couple days with her voice. I went to Karaoke at the tavern with my brother and all their friends in Didsbury. I remembered having dreams of Jamie either hanging out or working across the street. So I kind of asked the Jamie voice what is the right thing for me to do should I accidentally run into her somewhere. I heard a really cutting response like, " Don't even look at me, or try to talk to me." That got me kinda upset. Okay, a lot upset. I mean; I'm not going to anyway especially if she looks like she doesn't want to be talked to. I can respect space and privacy. But why be mean? Who knows if that was really her voice or not. Eventually we both seemed to resolve it where I just let her say something if that were to happen, but before saying something just let her linger nearby until she feels safe to say something. Smile if she smiles. Wave. Or am I allowed to wave first to test where she's at? IDK.

Later on her voice said something like, " Don't talk to me in my head anymore." Repeated a few times. I just apologized and said I'll be quiet. A minute later we seemed to work it out. And later she said, " please don't try to break up with me anymore. " I was all confused because I heard it the other way around. So I talked to her voice some more and ran it back. Apparently she heard the phrase that I heard from her, but me saying it to her. So we both agreed that we both hear "false voices." Sometimes.
We also talked about her being afraid to even say anything to me. That was her reasons, not mine. And I do remember when we used to hang out. How a part of her seemed to really want to move things want to move things forward with me. But also there was another part of her that would not let it happen. MUST not let it happen. And I remember thinking in those days that she seemed genuinely TERRIFIED of getting too close. I would watch that war go on in her daily sometimes.

Anyway dreams. The karaoke night I was up so late I couldn't recall any dreams. That was also an exhaustive night with the voice with a lot of confusion but I won't go into detail.

Last night

Quiet

I was in a white room and I was shackled by my arms to the floor. Jamie came in and unshackled me. She looked exhausted to the point of looking way older. Her face seemed thinner than normal. We began walking somewhere but she was keeping her distance. My dad was suddenly with us. And she was lingering closer to him than me. I remember feeling down about it, feeling that she should be closer to me than my dad. There goes my BPD brain again, finding rejection where there is none.

Handful of Jamie flashes.

One where we are both in a car . I'm holding her hand while driving.

Another flash she is just holding me and we both seem happy.

Last flash was just a sex related one.

Had a few non lucids without Jamie. 2 of them were McDonald's related. Dreamed I was working there again temporarily.

Last flash I was in a courtroom where a lawyer was talking to a judge. They said something about Jamie so I was asking about how they knew her

Not much dreams.

Dock

Just me standing on a dock with a bunch of water.

Last night had some trouble sleeping. After normal prayers it seemed like that guy was trying to get between me and Jamie during our time. ( I've touched on this before, with "twin flames." Many people report sensing their partners beside them. This combined with the head voice can create a vivid experience.) Her voice asked for more prayers to fend this guy off. Had a HH vision of him cutting an astral chord between me and Jamie and I couldn't sense her or her voice. Prayed right away to Jesus that he restore it. I felt her near me again instantly. After half an hour of prayers and me and the Jamie voice telling him to leave us alone. It finally stopped. Am I getting schizophrenia? After all this fell asleep . I think he got the message and gave up

Jamie

I'm floating up to some clouds. It's like heaven. Several people are standing on white pillars. I'm floating up and notice Jamie standing on one. She smiles at me and extends her hand. When I'm close she grabs my hand and pulls me to her. We start making out violently.

Can't remember much after but micro dreams where I'm with Jamie. We are holding hands, or she's hanging off my arm and we are just walking somewhere and talking.

Note: There is a guy staying at our house (hopefully temporary). Who is a half native guy. He's into new agey stuff and is very experienced in dream sharing. He's also gay. I have told him previously about my experiences with dream sharing. He seems to have his own biased view on dreams. I have not told him about Jamie. And I will not. He seems to be the guy who was interfering with me and Jamie in my dreams, causing the false break up from the previous entry. I also don't trust him because when I was alone at the house with him the other day, he blew up at me out of nowhere. He started yelling and cussing me out over a minor disagreement ( because I didn't want to listen to him or his advice on certain things.) in any case, I have ceased discussing any dreams or spiritual stuff with him. I have prayed daily that he can no longer interfere with our dreams... Jesus has been silent in the dreams so... But I have enlisted Raven to help. She says she wants to do something while her mother spends her last days in hospice. Just keep in mind she may not always be able to help if she's too stressed out or depressed. To Jamie if she reads: if you are dreaming about me being mean, or "breaking up." Or being abusive in dreams. It's not me. I don't know what this guy is capable of, or how long he will try to interfere. Just pray about it if it can help.

Forgot one dream from last entry:

Jamie 1

Me and Jamie are working on a hairdressing head working on braids or something. Nice.

Girl

Just a flash of a young girl barely older than a toddler picking up grass and handing it to me.

Jamie 2

Sex dream with Jamie. In Asuka's garden of all places. We were somehow in mid air and teleporting a few feet every few seconds... Wtf. Funny tho.

Annoying guy 1

I was in a strange hotel area with a big room or something. People were sitting in cubicles. I was on a person train riding tricycles. Behind me was a fake Jesus with a pride flag. Jamie was in one of the cubicles. I think I was trying to do something to impress her. Can't remember what I did. I had a feeling like it was that guy's inner world.

Annoying guy 2

A dream of Jamie's face in the black space. She's being mean and cussing me out badly. But inside the Jamie image is another face... That guy, and I can see his facial hair.

Wake up and her voice seems upset with me. I tried to calm her down and she said. " What is going on with our dreams lately?"

Annoying guy 3

Sitting in a chair across from the guy and having coffee. I look to my right and see a giant hole in the wall.

So he's breaking in now?

Jamie 1

Just Jamie smiling at me. She has a bunch of photographs of herself and she gives them to me. But we're in the black space and the photographs are floating towards me. I don't couldn't see what was in the pictures because I woke up.

It's really too bad all the SEARS shut down. Those corny photograph setups they had for couples and families would be perfect for me and Jamie. :p

Last night:

Black sky

Everyone was in this weird lockdown. Something was happening in the sky. It was all black with black clouds. Suddenly everyone was released and we could walk from our homes. I remember going outside and going into a car.

Following

Might have been a part of the previous dream I was walking with someone towards a mall. I think Jamie was following behind us but she looked like some Jamaican girl I used to work with.

I turned and said, " stop following. We're broken up now. Please respect my decision." The girl kind of vanishes.
I say to who I'm with , "I don't like this breakup. You get so used to someone and doing things together..." The person I'm with just kind of nods. Suddenly Jamie is with us again...

I wake up and her voice asked me if we're broken up? I'm like: no, we're not. I have no desire too. I nodded off for a few more minutes.

Driving

Jamie is driving in a city. People are in her car saying things like, " he doesn't deserve you! How could he? Remember to date up."

Hm. I don't know why we're dreaming this. I'll pray about it. The dreams don't reflect my will. I'll ask raven to help, but she's dealing with her mother being possibly close to not getting better.

Had a few fragments I can't recall.

Dream 1

Dream of some guy I know... He was getting raped violently. In the house was a bunch of people and demons fighting.

Fake Jamie

In the black space I see someone in the shadows. Jamie's hair, but the face is completely a shadow. She says, " I'm breaking up with you." Since I can't see the face and had dreams like this before I'm not taking it seriously.

Healing

Since I dreamed Jamie asking raven for help. I messaged Raven and told her about it. She agreed to help.

Dream was just a flash of walking along some fancy walk ways with a bunch of pools of water. I was with a group of people but can't remember who.

Raven confirmed that the place described in the dream is a place she goes for healing, and that me Raven and Jamie were there.

Raven didn't give much details. She's dealing with her own stress so I didn't push her for more details.

If Jamie reads these I apologize again for the scare a few entries ago. Her voice still insists she was warned about... Something.

Charlotte

Dream I went to visit my cousin's daughter. I used to live with them, she'd be almost 4 now. Charlotte seemed angry at me for having to move away. I know she doesn't understand that I was forced to move at the time. So I just apologize the best I can and give her a hug.

A quick flash of Jamie this morning but can't remember what.


Ooh!! there are a couple Jamie dreams I forgot to write down a week ago. Had these the same night where I dreamed she told me that she wanted to make me her boyfriend

Text

I'm walking down a street with Jamie. White text flashes that says, " I had a lucid dream with you in it."

Fallout

I binge watched the Fallout series on prime irl. Dreamed that I was with Jamie in the fallout universe. She had a crazy costume like you'd see in the mad Max movies. Her hair was like Pippi longstoxking, two braids sticking to the sides of her head. She was dirty like she had been roaming a desert. Had a crazy shield and a barbed wire bat like the one Began carries around

I had one dream where I was with some people in a house and I was doing some dream parkour in it or something. Then I was playing guitar with one of the guys.

Another dream where Jamie seemed to be in high anxiety and she went up to raven asking for help.

The Jamie voice seems to have anxiety. I was assured yet again that she is safe. I'm beginning to question if the warnings were actually from Jesus. Usually my encounters him yield a sense of safety and peace. So maybe that wasn't from him??? In any case I have been assured there is no danger. Certainly don't go looking for it either. I apologize for not questioning my warnings and recklessly posting them.

Had a small nap. During which I had a flash of Jamie walking in Bowden on the trail behind the A&W that leads to the streets. Ah did she visit? I wish I could have seen her. She gotta start doing those drive bys again and let me know she's okay.

Apparently Jesus says she's safe. Her voice said she was warned in another way... Well whatever it was, better to listen. I hope my post didn't cause any anxiety. Just be careful.

Posting a day earlier than usual due to the subject matter. (this is especially for Jamie if she reads these.)

Drugs

I'm at some woman's house. A woman is sitting in front of a coffee table. (Not sure if this was Jamie since she looked older.) On the table is a giant line of white powder. The woman is explaining to me that this is enough drugs to kill someone. She takes a razor and cuts a small section away and says this is safe. She was explaining it was a new psychedelic or something. The dream fades

what?

I'm in chilliwack or something... I'm with a woman that is supposed to be my future wife. We get into cars shaped like hearses... (that's not ominous at all..) The woman is older but when she smiles at me I recognize Jamie. We are holding one another.

I wake up... I get a weird voice that sounds like Jesus say, "I will take care of you after Jamie commits suicide." I'm like: what? I check in with her voice all day and she seems normal and fine.

next night:

Theater

A dream unrelated to Jamie. I was with a group of people and we went into a strange theater.

There was another small flash of Jamie but can't remember the subject matter.

I wake up and that same voice startles me again this morning with, "She's days away from passing away.". I spend some time in prayer asking Jesus if this is really him saying this? Is there anything I can do? Is this real, or am I losing my mind? The guy is just quiet on this. After some time I gt a sense to just put it in my dream journal and maybe he said.

now I'm not sure how to take these impressions. Especially since Jesus revealed to me in a big way, some months ago, a different future in mind for me and Jamie. Why would he suddenly contradict that? Or is it really him saying this? If it is a warning, maybe the drug dream is related. When Me and Jamie were friends I know she was into reckless drug use - her sometimes defending it as being harmless, like nothing bad is going to happen to her. But then again she was reckless after moving during an episode. Regarding that: I don't even touch any drug anymore or alcohol. I don't mind people smoking weed, but anything experimental or dangerous is not, nor will ever be, a part of my life.

I already lost a borderline Cousin to drugs. The one that died a few years ago. I remember at a time she was doing well, volunteering for police, doing all the necessary things so she could see her kids. Then she fell for the wrong guy, and went downhill over the next few years. This is why I also pray against counterfeit lovers that me or Jamie might encounter.

But seriously, allow me to list some of the people in my age group that I've lost to drug related stuff. My friend in chilliwack i went to high school with, his sister. A drummer me and my brother use to play with. Mine and my brother's other friend Brian, who's pregnant girlfriend found him hanging in a closet. My old neighbor in lethbridge, who got with the wrong woman, (She had a history of seducing men and using that to get them addicted to drugs. I still can't believe that people like that actually exist, but alas, I've seen the results).

So real or not, I feel i must leave a warning about this. I don't know if Jamie currently does any kind of drugs or anything as it's some years later. Borderlines do have a high statistics in suicide rate. I believe she's past that average age where attempts happen so at least pat herself on the back for making it past that. I've personally seen her grandiose side, that feels like nothing bad can happen to her. It obviously can. I'm posting this because It's real or I'm crazy - but it's out of concern. I, for one, remember that when when there wasn't a bunch of BS power struggles, that me and her got along better than anybody - and iot would be nice to have that again. We deserve a better ending than what happened.

Jesus said in prayer for jamie just to go to him with your concerns, he's always there.

Finally, some good Jamie dreams!

Jamie 1

I'm driving down a street in a red car with Jamie. It's a nice sports car with stripes down the middle. It's not like that one car I've seen her in with the not quite red and not quite brown color. She's saying to me, " when we are talking again in person I'm going to make you my boyfriend." I guess that's how she already thinks of me in relation to dreams and possibly head voice... She means when we finally talk in person it's going to be For real fr.

Jamie 2

Jamie is telling someone, maybe praying... She's saying, "Make sure Robert gets lots of reassurance." I guess reassurance that she's coming in eventually.

I guess both of us, with our emotional problems.. we both going to need a lot of reassurance. Already experienced a phase of this with the head voice relationship. She was constantly checking in and so was I. And we both equally were able to provide. What others might consider too clingy or toxic, we both feel that level of giving and receiving attention good for us, which is why I think we are the best together. Nowadays we mostly check in at night and seem to be happy with that.

Jamie 3

I see her camping and making out with some guy by a fire. . .
That better have just been a dream.

Jamie 4

Standing by Jamie in a kitchen by a stove. From a pot she grabs a large spoonful of gravy and feeds it to me. She just was smiling while doing so.

Did she know I had roast, potatoes and gravy last night?

One dream

I was on a bed with Jamie. We were joking around. I put a towel over my head to jokingly imitate her. She kissed me. It was slow at first, but I was going all in with it. She then matched what I was doing... Then woke up fast.

Only 1 dream. Jamie wanted to show me what her BPD is like. So she had a grill as big as the room. There was a pound of chicken on one side all spiced up. And a pound of hamburger, also spiced up, on the other side. Sounds like you eat good.

All kidding aside, of course I will never know completely what she goes through. What I experience is a mild form of it. When I knew her more personality. I got the whole experience of having her as a FP. Where your entire well being depends how they treat what day. And when I knew she would most likely never talk to me again... Worst feeling ever. I was physically ill. Felt like dying, or having an arm cut off and you still hallucinate it there. I had a gf cheat on me. Family and friends die . Nothing even came close to losing my FP. Would never wish that experience on my worst enemy. FR.