lucid

Total sleep time: 9 + hrs

Pre bed: 500 mg l-arginine (inspired by Highlander)

WBTB: woke up naturally after 5 hrs, but was super sleepy, so decided to skip the efforts/latte today.

Dream recall: I was planning on taking a break and just sleeping tonight, had it not been the ld at the end, there wouldn't have been a journal entry

Dream contents: the night was characterized by bizarre vivid dreams that I mostly forgot. I tried committing one dream to memory (again no keywords noted) as I thought it is easy to remember. Nothing from that dream. What I recalled is from the last hour of sleep, still pretty bizzarre and gave me a strange feeling too.

Dream1: In our old place, the way it looked many years ago. I am in the room, which at that point in time is dad's workplace. There are a lot of birds there, but soon I notice that some of them are on the floor and do not move. I conclude they are dead. I have a fake dream memory that there was some kind of disease raging, affecting mostly birds and other small animals. I notice lots of robin-like birds (alive) on the wardrobe. Then more dead birds on the floor. I don't think it's a good idea to stay in the room, the air is contaminated. I see some textbooks of mine and begin to gather them before I leave the place.

Dream2: I am in a bus and there is a discussion about a race ( cars/bikes?). My parents are also there. We are looking forward to finding out who the winner is, but it won't be known until 4 hrs later. We can buy tickets to the final, where the winner will be cycling/parading on the streets. I don't want to go there, but mom is talking to the bus driver. I think she will buy two tickets, but instead buys two coffee machines. They go to the back of the bus to get them.

Dream3 DILD: In a special room, a woman I know is like the head of this organization. It looks like a room for a lot of audience, but a bit altar-like. On the stage are a lot of this woman's favorite actors/musicians, most of them are from the past and long gone. Freddie Mercury is also among them. So she is related maybe a deputy for an organization's leader, who I identify as a special friend from my past.

I see a newspaper and begin reading the whole story of the organization. I can't wait to finish it and find out where my friend is now. At that time a DC, who plays the role of a classmate of mine is next to me, places her elbow on the newspaper, so I cannot read. I move the newspaper, but the article is not there, I start browsing the pages, looking for it in vain. I give up.

Me and classmate DC are going somewhere. I see a shop where they sell bracelets and try out one, but it doesn't fit. There are also lots of golden objects, the size and more or less shape of a pen. I notice one very cool looking - a brush entirely made of gold. The bristles are very soft and flexible and I swipe the top of my hand with the brush, but don't feel anything at all. I leave the brush where the other golden objects are. My classmate had selected some golden item and goes inside the store to pay. I accompany her inside and notice that I now hold a golden knife-like item, but do not have the money to buy it. It somehow ends up in my mouth where it stretches, changes shape, and by the time I get it out it is a golden spiral covered with pinkish chewing gum. I move on.

I face a door leading to a hospital-like corridor and go into that direction and end up in a vast room. I have the desire to find my special friend. While observing the room I become lucid. At this moment, my classmate walks through the door and joins me in the room. It is just a DC representation of my classmate, doesn't look like her much, but I am really amazed how this DC managed to follow me from the store. I pay no more attention to her and concentrate on the huge room in front of me.

There are many DCs there, and I decide to ask them where my special friend is. I go and talk to an old lady and ask her about him. She says she will go and get him soon, so I find that pretty cool. I contemplate on the amount of DCs in the room and how they all seem very independent (from my subcon). I have some feeling of the dream becoming unstable so move forward and wonder how real it all seems. I run my hand on the top part of a sofa, so real, stare in front of me, and I even hear a beeping sound which repeats over and over again, like an ECG (possibly an alarm from WL).

The room is on the first floor and leads to a large campus like inside yard. There are lots of people there, but the thing that immediately catches my attention is a black coffin, held in the air by two DCs. The sight gives me the creeps, and I begin crossing myself, a number of times, closing my eyes. Once I calm down a bit, I begin to feel that the dream is about to go, because there are no stimuli, I almost don't see anything and cannot open my eyes! I then remember that someone in DV ( gab or OB, or both, thanks a lot!) said it is possible to see through your eyelids. So I actually see a bit of the scene through the eyelids, and concentrate on it. My vision gets back to normal and I forget about the issue. The same DCs are still gathered there, holding torches as this funeral? is taking place. Most likely the coffin will be brought inside.

That doesn't matter much now because I feel the dream slipping away once again. I look around as much as possible and notice the building surrounding the yard, reminding me of a 18-19th century large hospital or campus or both. I begin to panic as I know I am waking up and I really wanted to learn more about the place. I stop a female DC dressed with strange clothes I don't have much time to investigate and say to her "Quickly, tell me where is this place" twice. She replies something like "America, reserve Neuhausen/Munchausen". I believe at that point that there really may be a place like this and repeat it a few times so that I can check it out later. I consider going in the building but the dream is violently coming to an end and the first floor is on fire.

I decide to check with the place location once again. I see three unpleasant problems individual DCs and engage one of them, asking him where we are. He is so out of place in this dream, doesn't pay any attention to me but instead picks up his phone and starts talking to someone else. Whatever. I look down and see lots of broken mobile phones in the mud...(end of memory and wake up)

I wake up overexcited and tell bf about the dream and he tells tha strangely he also dreamt about Munchausen/neuhausen. I wanted to know more about his dream. We concluded that it is very likely that I have repeated the name during my dream with my real voice and that has carried over to his dream.

Comments: I don't know whether it was my once again very deep sleep or the l-arginine that has caused so much bizarreness today. The dreams had a distinguishable different feeling to them, although it is hard to describe.
The last dream felt very ...different too. I will refrain from any rationalizations at this point.

Date: 08 June

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: cold latte (103.4 mg caffeine), did not feel very strong despite the warnings on the label

Dream quality and recall: Hmm, recall was quite difficult today, I was extremely sleepy pre WBTB and after falling asleep post WBTB. Vividness was as far as I can remember normal. Not totally sure about the sequence of the dreams. I did wake up naturally after WBTB and tried to commit the dreams to memory without taking any notes, but then quickly fell asleep. After final wake I was like " What, I don't remember anything at all?" Then some fragments emerged.

Dream1: I am in my grandma's place and there is a hungry lion in there too. I barely notice it , just know that it is there. (It seems I wasn't looking forward to giving it a hug today!) So, I get a large bone to lure it, it looks like some big KFC leftover and I throw it in the corridor, while trying to sneak out. I am not very sure where this lion is, but I am contemplating on an escape plan...

Fragment2: In some place, which reminds me of a block that I only dream about. The place is a bit different, and the floor is made of Chinese tiles. I am crossing it, and in the meantime lots of Asians appear there. They have to be careful because there are fragile blue/white Chinese dishes on the floor. I go with a touch of irritation, pick some guy and tell him he should not do what he is doing. I get the feeling of another dream with some Japanese girls I had a long time ago.

Fragment3 DILD: No idea how this dream started, when I got lucid and what I else I did while lucid. It is quite dark, and it seems I ran into a DC that I assume is Xanous. I address him and start talking to him. I remember he may not be lucid, so I grab him by the shoulders, shake him a bit and repeat several times that this is a dream. Then I remember to do the gesture, and finally repeat the passcode a few times. It looks like he is trying to memorize it, I repeat it a few more times, hopefully he will remember. I hold his head with my hands, while the dream slowly fades away.

Comments: Well a bit unlikely that this was Xanous, did he say anything back? I am so good at terrorizing innocent DCs. Sorry guys!

Date: 7 June

Total sleep time: 8+ hrs

Pre bed: SJW, B6

Sleep quality and WBTB: I have been sleeping like a sloth all week long. One thing I have changed in my WBTB routine was to switch from using an alarm to using natural wakes. This has worked out partially fine. I do wake up naturally 2-3 times after sleeping 4-5 hrs. I think that in this way I am allowing my body to determine the best time for WBTB, instead of me forcefully using the alarm. The only problem is that, out of fear not to cause insomnia and possibly due to laziness, my WBTBs were not as serious as they should have been, thus not raising alertness to desired for LD levels. Will have to work on that.

Dream recall: While my recall has been somewhat reduced by my sleepiness, I have additionally been skimming my dreams. I have been putting only keywords instead of journaling, which has allowed me to...sleep more. The dreams weren't too interesting, so there wasn't much that I have missed apart from a brief lucid yesterday, that I couldn't access at all. I think that's fine so far.

WBTB: peppermint oil capsules

Dream1 DILD: I missed the transition. I suddenly find myself in front of my parents' place but the way it was a few years ago. I spend some time looking around, feeling happy. Then the neighborhood begins to morph into other buildings from my home town, so I stop staring at them, because I feel that I am causing the change. I check out my hands and they are in a mudra. After yesterday's discussion, I now wonder if I should try meditating in the dream or try to recall a past memory. I spend too much time in idleness and the dream escapes. I find myself in the void.

I feel that if I wake up I can successfully DEILD back. I am in the void and not back in bed yet but get confused because I feel my body? Obviously this is my dream body and some dream is starting to form, but I think that I am in my bed feeling my real body. In real life I am sleeping in my bed, but the body I feel while in the void is sitting in a chair. I am too dumb to realize that this is my dream body, get irritated with the strange position I have assumed, try to change it and lie down? I struggle in the dark. Then I wake up in another dream.

Dream2: Short FA, where I am in bed, reviewing the event and now completely sure after the dream that whatever I couldn't remember yesterday was indeed a very short LD where I didn't get much done.

I wake up (left side) for real and take key notes

Dream3: An elegant Asian woman talks about investment opportunities. She recommends that Western countries allocate 50 percent of FDI to China and the other 50 to Malaysia. This interview happens during some event. While this is happening I hear a piano playing. It is part of the melody from Mika's Grace Kelly. The sound is astonishing.

Fragment4: A classmate follows me around kissing me. While it feels pleasant I try to avoid him because I have a bf.

Fragment5: Me and a friend enter in a luxurious store where they sell toothpaste. It slowly changes and is now some kind of bar full of hookers.

Fragment6: I look into the nearby building and Christian Slater is there with more hookers having some night party

Fragment7: Me and bf, no comments

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Progress with this month's goals:

- Do 100 RCs (added)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (added)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (3/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Early dreamlet: A guy tells me that whenever cheese is involved he is also there?

Dream1 DILD after WBTB: Me and bf are queuing to enquire about financial help. A DC woman is behind me and she disapproves of me being there. The scene transforms and we are on some kind of platform that is taking us someplace. I see a strange theme park that reminds me of the island Pinocchio went to. We arrive at the destination, the DC woman is still behind me, I feel her body press on me, so I decide to sit on the platform’s stone steps. I look where we have arrived. This is something like a prison that a sect has, and they keep girls with strange clothes there.

I enter the place and it turns into an ordinary apartment. I look around and it feels familiar, as if I had been here before. In the first room I see a girl that is kept there and she is clearly sad about her fate. She is naked and I feel her silky skin, and then hug her to console her. She is very thin and I cannot tell her back from her front, it actually gets distorted but I think it is because she is skinny and I tell her that…I move on. There is no one in the apartment and that gives me a strange feeling. Soon I discover another room where a girl is kept. This time it is an extremely dangerous girl. I try to peek through the keyhole but there is some metal in it. Of course, the door to this dangerous girl is not locked, so she starts moving the door trying to escape, while I am trying to close the door. She is stronger than me so she manages to escape and I face her. She is outright scary, because she is a vampire. Some game-like status bar that looks like a play paper card is there. I understand that I won’t be able to fight her, so decide to flee.

I leave the apartment as fast as I can, and as I get to the stairs I run into Brendan Hines, who I recognize in the dream as a friend of mine and not the actor. I tell him we should get out of there and glide/jump on the handrails as fast as I can. We leave the building and I am on the street lucid. My first thought is that I don’t need to run away any more, but just to be on the safe side, I decide to increase the distance between me and the vampire girl, so I fly forward a bit. I am very happy that this guy (Brendan) is here and have some strange memory that this is the second time I am dreaming him? I want to use him as a partner during the lucid.

I remember 3 of the TOTM (although I decided yesterday to do only two this month), and have a great clarity of mind. This worries me because I feel that this is end of the REM and I am going to wake up soon, so I go to do the tasks. I approach Brendan, but he has transformed into some ugly older dude, who is being engaged by two other DCs on a bench. That irritates me and I try to get his attention, with little success. I notice a small puddle on the floor and decide to look at my image there. At the same time, while walking towards the puddle I consider if I should take my clothes off, and I stretch my T-shirt a bit. I think that not being able to see for a while will disconnect me from the dream, so I abandon the task and concentrate on my image in the water. I am pleasantly surprised to see that it is actually me there, looking quite nice, and smiling. Normal clothes and hair. It seems that I am talking as I am thinking this because as I do, I see the image’s mouth move exactly in accordance with my thoughts/words. I find this fascinating, but soon I feel my real lips moving and I am back in my bed.

I am on my right side, eyes closed and decide to risk and go for a DEILD. I wait quite a while and nothing happens, I am quite awake so decide to go to the restroom and take some key notes. I then go back with the intention of falling asleep and having another lucid. (Yes, that greed!)

As is usually the case with me, this doesn’t work too well, so I spend about 50 mins doing all kinds of stuff trying to fall asleep. I got very sceptical about having another ld towards the end of this insomnia chunk and began contemplating whether I should get up and do something more productive, but I finally fell asleep.

Dreamlet: some plant leaves

Dream2 DILD: I am in what initially looks like my parents place and there is a rat-like creature on the floor. It is white, and has no eyes, so a bit creepy. It later becomes three smaller creatures. There was some kind of story about these but it is hard to remember. We also own some creature in my mind a horse, but then a dog/creature steals our horse and runs down the building. This is my grandma’s place for a while. I chase the dog to get back whatever is ours, which turns into my new handbag from real life.

This person/entity goes down some stairs which lead into the underworld. It is scary. The underworld entrance is a subway station, where the escalators don’t work, so there is no turning back. I consider checking whether the elevator works but enter in a restroom instead. There are two people making out there, I chase them away. I look in front of me, and become lucid.

Once again my brain is working full power. There is a mirror just in front of me, so I take advantage of the opportunity and check my appearance. My hair is a bit darker and my image makes grimaces. I think that I don’t want to be stuck here too long to avoid waking up, so I leave the restroom. The station is still there, and I want to talk gibberish to a DC, so I turn to a DC guy and say the sentence “I am talking gibberish”, but muffle the sound so it becomes something like “Mmm tokah gee-ummmsh” and look for his reaction. He doesn’t seem to understand what I am saying and I am disappointed with his reaction, so I repeat it two more times. He shyly smiles and looks away. Ah, he’s shy, I conclude, satisfied with the result.

Then I decide to go with the next task, get naked. I look around and proudly announce to the surrounding DCs “I am going to get naked!” and watch faces of dismay. I concentrate on taking my clothes off, but it seems I have two layers, one fitting really tight. As I struggle to take them off, the dream fades away and I am back in bed, left side this time.

Date: 31 May

Pre bed: multivitamins (included gingko and ginseng), SJW, two drops of peppermint oil

Side effects: increased heart rate, heavy insomnia

Other: I think the multivitamins I took stimulated me too much before bed time. I was also dehydrated which made the situation worse. The heart rate wasn't too fast, but it was noticeable when going to bed and made it difficult to fall asleep.

Dream quality and recall: WILD, too dark, which made it harder to engage in the dream. The two DILDs after that were vivid and of higher quality. I woke up after each one. Then had about two hours of insomnia, went into very deep sleep and had little recall.

Impressions: It was an interesting experience, although I wouldn't repeat it again (because of the insomnia)

Sequence: multivits > heartbeat> WILD> about a hour of sleep/or trying to sleep> DILDs> insomnia> deep sleep> WBTB> dream

Dream1 WILD: In bed, dehydrated and with a noticeable heartbeat which made it difficult to fall asleep. I was still for some time, paying attention to the heartbeat, then found myself in darkness. It felt like my consciousness was split in three sections. Part of it was asleep, part of it knew exactly what to do, giving me instructions, and part of it followed the instructions. A bit like having three different thoughts at the same time.

I am in the darkness, and I say to myself how exactly I should grab the scene. The instructions are now vague, but I remember struggling with the darkness, and performing some bodily movements until I end up on a solid street. I find it a bit strange that I am now on this street, a city from my past, I notice that I am sitting on the pavement. It is dark, and there is nobody in sight. I decide to walk a bit, choosing another street I know. I spend some time walking, and reach a bus station. I look around once again, everything is still very dark, so it is hard to see, and there isn't a single light on.

I am a bit worried that the dream will escape, because I almost cannot concentrate on anything here. Then the "interact with a DC" task comes to mind. I know Xanous would probably not be asleep at this time, but decide to try to reach him nevertheless. I call out Xanous a few times, and look around. I cross the street and there are some DCs there, I stop one and try to ascertain if this is Xanous. It is dark, so hard to tell any facial feature, and the guy's face is also blurred. Well, it doesn't feel like him so I let the DC go. I stop another one and hold him for a while. His face gains a bit more definition and I try to analyze it in the darkness. I say that whatever I am doing makes no sense but still hold on to the DC. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

I go to drink some water then back to bed. Reviewed the dream in mind. Fell asleep.

While I had begun to question whether some of my short lucid moment memories that I couldn't recall in the past few weeks were real, I now have an absolute certainty because I woke up shortly after these two.

Dream2 DILD: In some version of the same city, but everything is much more vivid now and it is day time. I am supposed to meet a friend of mine like the last time we did that. But somehow our plans don't work out. Instead I end up facing a threat from an invisible enemy. I am lucid now, and have a greater sensory perception. Initially it was as if I am on the balcony, but it quickly changes into multidimensional walled space in front of me, hard to describe. The energetic entity is not visible because it is behind the wall, yet I feel it because I stretch move with my entire being through the wall that feels like just space, and come in close contact with it. It is not pleasant, I feel its energy. I am trying to move it away by manipulating the matter. I get rid of the thing and find myself between four walls with creamy tiles on them. I notice that there is no door, but don't care much. I can move through space.

Dream3 DILD: In the more or less the same city, some kind of scenario is developing. People are still using horses instead of cars, they are leaving the city because of some emergency. I watch while this is happening, there is some blue stuff of the floor. I remember that this is the second time this is happening. I am lucid, I spill more blue stuff on the floor, and enjoy it for a while. I make a strange posture to show/explain something to one of the DCs in the room? I turn and look to the other side of the room where there is a window. I decide to stabilize the dream by intending it. I check the overall feeling, yes, stable. My mind is also clearer now. I look out the window, and see three boys in the distance. "Interact with a DC", on my mind again. (I really wish I could remember more tasks! ). I climb through the window and slide down. It feels like the roof of a building or on top of a train. The boys are playing soccer, so I shout that I want to play with them. They kick the ball towards me and I see it coming, but it is too high, I control its movement so it is easy for me to catch it. As I am preparing to have a kick, the dream falls apart and I wake up?

Fragment4: I am having a short dream where I am discussing the three boys. I identify one of them as a neighbor kid from the past, but I know he is grown up now.

I wake up and review the dreams, I am super awake and cannot fall asleep for two hours. When I finally do, I slip into unmemorable dreams.

WBTB: I wake up tired about one hour before the planned wake time. Upset that I messed up the plan for tonight. I decide to take one p.oil capsule, then go to bed concentrating on having an ld.

Fragment5: A classmate is wearing strange clothes

Fragment6: I am in some water, and there is sand around. My bf is also swimming with me in this strange place. I try to get out of the water, climbing strange sand dunes. Then we go to an indoors swimming pool where I plunge into the water, a bit worried about hitting the bottom.

Date: 24 May

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

WBTB: 2x200mg peppermint oil tablets

Dream quality, lucidity and recall: My dreams were extremely vivid today, I dare say, more vivid that real life. I believe this was the reason why I got a number of lucid moments during the night. While being aware that this is a dream, I continued to engage in the dream, soon losing lucidity. My recall has been rather poor again, which made it harder to figure out how it all happened.

Sleep schedule: I had trouble going to bed on time last few nights, but avoided taking sleep aid supps (mel and valerian) for a number of reasons. Messing up my sleep schedule has made me feel very sleepy and possibly affected my recall.

Dream zero: lucid, happiness, no other memory

Fragment1: some kind of game, rocks, I am walking around

Fragment2: my parents at some event

Fragment3: FA, in my bed recalling the previous dreams and happy I just had a lucid. I am between dream and waking state and I realize that this review is taking place in my head. I drag myself out of the dream and wake up to dream journal properly.

WBTB: upon wake I notice how sleepy I am. I try to recall the lucid, but only remember the feeling and no other details. I hold the memory of Fr1 and fr2 in my mind. I go to take some peppermint tablets, then back to bed. I quickly fall asleep forgetting almost everything.

Fragment4: I want to make tea, I am looking at an unused teabag of green tea, which becomes a box, containing two black teas and one green. On the green one is written "blue goddess" and also "hotel memorabilia"

Dream5: We are at some party and it is really late. Lucid moment. I meet a classmate that I like and I want to tell him something. (something like shared dreaming attempt residual that I keep on doing in some lucids). I tell him to come with me in the other room for five mins, but he refuses. I am thinking about my dad coming to pick me up when the party is over, etc. Another classmate of mine (f), we talk with her, she is one of my best friends. She shares that she is really unhappy with her life, and so on. Very emotional connection with her irl and dreams. She begins to cry, and I embrace her, we stay like this for a long time. Another friend of mine (f), comes and joins us and three of us are holding hands in some silent act of consolation...Lucid moment. Memory gap. We are arranging to meet at our new dream apartment, which looks really nice.

Fragment6: someone has bought a toy, it is a car that behaves like rat because it can climb on the windows

Fragment7 DILD: I am in the suburbs, a familiar place but it looks like it is in the past, so I become lucid. Someone is after me, I am running, climbing a fence. . I think I was trying to figure out a way out of the situation, but I cannot remember anything else.

Dream8 DILD: I am on the street and see a small boy and his mother. The vividness is incredible. He throws large stones at me, I am worried that he will break my ipod with the stone, but it is ok. He continues throwing stones, while initially concerned about my safety I realize this is a dream, so no need to worry that much. The stones are very colorful, lots of them on the ground. I pick up one and go menacingly to the boy. I can't bring myself to throw one at him, so I decide to threaten him instead. I do so, in pseudo French. It is really hard to express whatever it is that I am trying to say, so I end up making strange words that don't exist. At this point or a bit later I lose my clarity. I go over to his mother and begin apologizing about my French.

Dream9 DILD: Family and other relatives are discussing politics, I try to remain impassive. I am indulging in a chocolate cake and then drink some mayo salad that grandma has made. It doesn't taste as usual, and I say it out loud, grandma is a bit offended. Family is leaving somewhere. I am on the bus station in my hometown, cross on red light, and continue on my way to our old home. As I am walking, the dream kind of jumps forward, so I find myself in front of our door. I think to myself "Why did I decide to walk, when I know I could just teleport here?", Hmmm, teleport here? I am aware that this is a dream now. I still want to go in the place so I start unlocking the door. Then suddenly I hear a slightly scary metal sound, like movement of keys. I remind myself not to pay any attention to it, and that it will disappear. Instead it gets louder, comes closer.

I concentrate on unlocking the door, but even as I move the key, the door won't open. I begin thinking why is that, the sound is now really close. I decide to face it, and look down the stairs. Pfuu, it is just my dad! He comes and opens the door and we are in! I am in the corridor with dad, it is dark, and kind of...too dimensional. I am talking to him, but it is hard, and my voice sounds really distorted. I try again but the effect is the same. My prospective memory finally activates, recalling the first two of three step task, interact with a DC, ok. Then eat something. I see a small plant in front of me, and think no! I head to the kitchen to look for food. It is dark, the furniture is different and I cannot remember where the fridge is. I finally find it. At that moment dad comes with some strange foamy orange juice cocktail drink. I take it and think for a while whether that counts as eating something, then have a drink. Before I can enjoy any taste, the dream totally falls apart and I am back in my bed. I remain still and wait a bit, but nothing happens, and begin to think too much, so I wake up. Note to self: maybe be a bit more patient next time?

Comments: I have been getting more of these lucid moments but I really don't know how to account for them in my private dream count as well as on DV, because they are kind of short and I'm having problems with lucid recall.

At the end of the month, I probably will be including a total count, with a reference how many of these are micro-lucids. Before, I counted every lucid I had as plus one, but now I look more at the length and quality. This is getting so confusing. Anyways, I still think it is a very good progress for the past two months. If my dream control ever gets really good, one day I would like to go back and relive those dreams and remember them in full detail.

Date: 22 May

Total Sleep Time: 8 hrs

WBTB: 120 mg gingko

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, but I was very sleepy today, I guess that has affected my recall. My prospective memory and concentration during the lucid were not at their best either.

Fragment1: the dream involved Xanos, no other memory

Dream2: A class meeting again. It is late at night and we are discussing with the girls where we are about to go. I feel like dancing so I am totally fine with any place they suggest. I notice that they have put on some weight. My dad is over-protective and follows me around. I arrange to secretly meet with my best school friend and take her to a concert. I will buy her the ticket. On what I think is the next day, we meet in the morning and take the subway. She has moved to my city, it seems.

Fragment3: We are eating some mix of bacon and cheese, tasted very realistic

Fragment4: the office is closed, my dad is looking for something

WBTB: Took gingko. Recalled dreams and did some dream incubation during which I have fallen asleep.

Dream5: I am watching some trees from above, and want to change their color. It feels a bit like I am observing using google map. Soon I am at the place of interest, in the middle of a lake. There is an old wood-made ship close to the also quite old and dusty quay. I have a game like attitude and want to rearrange the whole place. I succeed in making more space where I want to. Then I am in the water, swimming forward, but it is not very pleasant because this lake is a bit dirty. There is also a fish nearby, and I don’t like that.

Dream6: Instead of the normal section of a restaurant, I decide to follow a DC and go to another part. I am climbing some stairs to reach my destination, but the place is very hard to get to because the doors are smaller. I reach the third floor, where I talk to the waiter – a friend of mine. Three other DCs appear. One of them tells me that he has a Japanese geisha girlfriend and that they are in an open relationship, they are dating some other special girl. He shows me a brochure where all this is explained using some strange Japanese words. I think that he expects me to join their little arrangement, so I say no thanks.

Fragment7: I am in a car, and the waiter of another place we were in, is now John Malkovich. He comes in, bringing my favourite sandwiches. They are perfect.

Dream8 DILD: I am in an interesting looking town, but pay little attention to it at first. I am with four friends, one girl I clearly know, two DC friends in the background and another girl. The other girl is the girlfriend of a friend of mine, and she has come to meet me. At first, I don’t feel at ease with the two girls, even though they are friends, so I fly to the level of the first floor, and follow everybody as they are walking down the street, just above them. I think of why I am doing this and then fly back down. The new girl has brought me some presents – she hands me two notebooks, with school notes, chemistry and other stuff. Then another one with patriotic poems translated in a foreign language. Who would want to read something like that, I am thinking to myself.

At some point which I cannot remember, I become lucid. I feel I have spent a long time exploring around. The next more clear lucid memory is me, still in that city, which looks like a medieval city, feeling happy and going for some tasks (which I don’t remember at all). Then I look around and enjoy the place, the walls of the houses around are made from a dark stone with a hint of green. It feels like an Italian city during Middle Ages. It also reminds me of a number of other dreams I had. One more recent one was in a modern Italian city. The Colosseum should be somewhere to my right, I am thinking and desire to go to that place. At the same time, I try to engage a few DCs to help me on my quest. I look ahead and see DCs passing by, I try to stop them, but they are moving really fast, strong momentum, so I cannot stop them. (The second time this has happened). I look at a DC in front of me and notice how beautiful, elaborate and medieval/renaissance-like her clothes are. I get closer to a DC woman that is not moving, she is some kind of monk, and ask her for help/directions, but she is not helpful at all (interact with DC).

I continue and find another male DC, a peasant, he looks a bit blurry. I know that this dream has been going on for really long, so to avoid it ending I come up with the idea to stabilize the dream by kissing him. He is not really ugly, I find him rather unpleasant, but still, I kiss him. I realize that I am doing something objectionable to me, yet I keep doing it. The dream feels much more stable (stabilize dream), but then someone tells me that as a result of my behaviour, I have now two children and that man is my husband. This place is my home now. It all suddenly feels so realistic to me that I lose my lucidity. I begin to fret about those responsibilities and that I won’t be able to leave the place now. At the same time, I know that this city is special and that there are wormholes appearing every now and then, so I can use one of them to escape. I look at a live city map, which shows the location of the currently active wormhole.

I continue sleeping and have another dream that I cannot recall. I wake up and feel frustrated because I have no memory of the last few dreams. Then fragments start to emerge.

Comment: Although I managed to recover some of the memory of that lucid, it is upsetting that once again I am unable to remember a part of the experience. And yet, it is much better than not remembering anything at all.

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

Dream quality and recall: Dreams were vivid, dr2 was very long, reviewed in mind to commit to memory.

Fragment1: I had adopted the same avatar as checker and am wondering what people will think if we post one after the other

Fragment2: My mom insists on buying expensive gifts for one of her friends. I don't think she should.

WBTB: had a natural wake, decided to use as WBTB, was out of bed 6 mins, it was perfect, but when I came back, some kind of....nervousness took over, and I had trouble falling asleep for a long time. I really need to do something about my WBTB behavior.

Dream3: Me and bf are in an old but beautiful hotel. The room is very large, and later it turns to a huge apartment. I look outside, see some people arguing, decide I don't want to get involved, close the windows. It is late so I want to take a shower. I go to the bathroom but it is made all wrong and I start flooding the place. I turn the water off and go to look for the other bathroom, near the entrance, it is elaborately decorated . I also have a camera with me, to take a pic, but the camera is all wet, I try to dry it. I go to the other bathroom, but then the door to the apartment opens. We are sharing the place with other people, and they are coming in. I am naked, so run back towards our section and quickly close and lock the door behind me. We go to sleep.

Dream4 mini-LD: On the next day, my bf is leading me through some unknown streets in that city. We reach our destination. I notice some interesting things to eat, but we pass them by and enter a building. We go into a room, where a number of women are around the table and one of them is selling shirts. I don't want to buy any and just want to go out, and we get into a conflict with the woman. The women have totems on the wall, they begin praying and making strange movements with their hands as if casting spells. I close my eyes and inspect my energy field to check if everything is alright, also push a bit of energy forward to cancel out their influence.

I try to leave the room but it gets larger and there are more and more people inside they want to talk to me. I finally manage to go outside and enter the store where they sell the food, the man working there greets me in a foreign language. Those chocolate things are expensive, but look really nice. I end up ordering some ice coffee with something edible inside. The meeting of the people in the room is over, and everybody is now outside. They all pass by me, like a river of people, and I get a lucid-like feeling. They insist that I join them in an overcrowded car. I am in the car, annoyed with them and want to leave the car, but it is moving at a very high speed, so I decide to wait. I then notice that a bus nearby is driving really recklessly, destroying everything on its way. I figure this can only be a dream and become lucid. I think about how long this dream has been going, really very long, and I would really like to have some more fun. Then the dream fades and I am back in my real bed, eyes closed, lying on the right side. I am very awake and worried that I will forget the dream, so I remain absolutely still, reviewing with closed eyes, risky but didn't fall asleep or DEILD.

Comments: I am now a bit upset that I didn't become lucid earlier on. May have had a better chance to do some tasks. Yet, my dream self was happy!

Pre bed: Green tea

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: went to bed very late, deep sleep tonight, and recall was hard. I have been trying to recall the whole first dream all day long but with little success.

Fragment1 DILD: I am looking at a male person, concentrating on top of their head. I see a second more transparent double layer shining with color, I am so aware, lucid is an understatement. I get a great sense of understanding. There is a discussion and feelings of happiness from my side. I am also talking with PennyRoyal, he is one of my good buddies in the dream. It was very vivid, but I don't have much recall. My key impressions are positive feelings, knowledge and understanding. This was my first memorable REM or Non-REM? for the night.

Fragment2: Me and somebody else are about to catch a small plane. We are in front of a very small airport, but we need to get to the other part of the airport, we are looking at a map of the area.

brief natural wake, had the idea of writing down the previous dreams but was way too tired, thought I would remember it, so went back to sleep

Fragment3: FA, I wake up in my bed, grab the tablet and start writing down the dream with Penny. My bf is near me, watching what I have typed, I stop writing, I wake up.

WBTB: I wake up, this time jot down keywords, and spend 10 mins struggling to remember more of the dream. Reviewed tasks, but had the feeling this will be it for today.

Dream4: We are in some place with my bf with a blond guy, resembling a former classmate. While he is a total stranger, but my bf doesn't mind him spending the evening with us. We talk for a long time, he is slightly arrogant. The guy decides it's time to leave so he jumps from a bridge. I watch him vanish in the air instead of falling in the water.

Fragment5: Another attempt to remember the dream with Penny, but I am trying to recall during the dream itself. This time I see a water in front of me, it is a waterfall. I think the dream with Penny might have included Angel Falls, also get some feeling of happiness, yet cannot remember more even during the dream.

Fragment6: A new thread started by Xanos

Dream7: I am with my parents in a familiar place. I have the feeling this is the second dream in that place for today. We talk about something with my mom, and I decide to go to another room. I then go out. I feel much better now, by myself, on the street, there is a fence and obviously a zoo. A lot of people are there, I join them. I see a polar bear cub, and that people are actually going beyond the fence. I want to go to where the cub is so I also cross over and am inside the section with the animals.

I look to the other side and see now a brown bear cub, it is on its back, drinking a bottle of coke. I am with a friend of mine and I tell her that the zoo keepers will think that we gave the drink to the bear and be angry with us. I try to take the bottle of coke away from the bear, but I am taking its food, it is stressed now. I am afraid of its mother, which is a much larger polar bear. We are sitting on a couch with some DCs, when the mother bear comes. I try to think of a plan to escape, without attracting her attention. I think at that point she transforms into a DC, conveys the message that she wants us to leave her territory, so I ask the DCs that we go. They get up, we are leaving, and the mother bear DC is grateful.

Comments: It's been three days in a row that I have been dreaming animals, it is high time I begin to recognize this as a dream sign! Also, upon waking up don't forget to at least count fingers or do any RC, to take advantage of those FAs.

Date: 15 May

Pre bed: 400 mg valerian, 100b B6

Total sleep time: 7hrs

Impressions and Recall: There was my usual for B6 sense of aggression seeping through parts of the dream. After waking up from the lucid (after 5 hrs of sleep), I decided to take key notes and review as not to wake myself up. I got pretty excited and the internal dialogue turned on full power, resulting in about an hour of insomnia. After that I fell into deeper more unconscious type of sleep with a decreased recall capability. I had another lucid from which I remember only a part, I continued sleeping after it was over and had an non-ld.

Fragment1: Some kind of posts on DV that had to do with PennyRoyal.

Fragment2: At home, my parents have gone somewhere and I am in my room cooking some strange pancake/calzone thing that looks and tastes delicious. I have to leave some for my grandma.

Dream3 DILD TOTY attempt: I am in a room which feels familiar, three women are sitting around the table, and I am cleaning up as if after a meal. One of the women has some tempting white green chocolate cookies, I am secretly planning on having a few after the women are gone. Another female DC comes in and starts behaving really aggressively. She demands all the attention, looks me in the eye with hatred and begins complaining to one of the women in the room. I have the feeling that they will start a fight with each other, so get out of there fast. Her hostility feels kind of fake, and at this point the memory of the B6 effect for me reaches my subcon on a subtle level.

I find myself on the stairs of a building and lots of aggressive gangster type boys are all around me. One of them is particularly evil, feels dangerous. I become lucid on a distracted level, realizing this is a dream, but unable to do anything about the guy. I am trying to move away but it is really crowded on the stairs, I think somebody pushed me, and I end up in a niche on the wall. The wall is not really wall but something liquid that sucks me in. As I move forward in this thing, I achieve a better clarity of mind and am fully lucid and in control. There is a single task that I feel the urge to do now, go to Angel Falls. I remember CL’s advice to try to feel the floor, so I move my fingers, touching the empty space and feeling small grains of sand and pebbles. The dream idea was to be on top of Angel Falls, but in the water, so in addition to my feeling the floor, I begin to make swimming movements with my hands. The wall is already liquid and it is like a white pinkish sinking sand made of rubber-like substance. The whole world has disappeared and it is just me and the wall and I feel a closer to the void, afraid that the dream would destabilize and disconnect. I am swimming forward and nothing happens for a while, but I decide to keep on swimming. At some point the whole environment changes and I find myself looking at a flower, submerged in water.

I look at the dark purple flower and marvel its beauty, noticing every petal in detail. I look around, and see that I am in the middle of a pond/lake that stretches as far as my eyes can see. At the same time, mixed with this image I find myself in my old room, where all this is taking place. I focus on the surface of the pond which looks like a silver mirror reflecting the clouds. I then notice that this pond is covered or rather slowly begins to cover itself with lotus flowers. Bright yellow and magenta lotus flowers are everywhere I move my eyes to look. I feel happiness upon witnessing this beautiful sight. The dream is extremely vivid and stable. Needless to say, I am somewhat distracted by this, but keep gliding on the surface of the pond in the direction of Angel Falls. This doesn’t work too well, I am still within the confines of my room, looking through some glass that distorts the view from outside, which is the view from my room with strange rainbow-like effects. A bit like looking out during a bus ride. It looks like my room wins the battle between the two layers of images, gaining more detail.

Soon the water level in the room goes down and with it my lucidity. I struggle to restore the water level with intent, but non-lucid already. I manage to briefly do so, but then I see the floor and the water is retreating. There is also mud everywhere, the furniture is falling apart. I become concerned about the state of my old room and wonder how to clean everything. [end of memory]

After the dream ended, I had a brief awakening, noting to myself about the lucid, but then fell asleep again. I heard some kind of bell-like sound, I guess a type of HI, that actually woke me up. After reviewing the dream I had 1 hour of insomnia. Then - deeper sleep and less memorable sleep.

Fragment4: Having to share the bed with relatives, I preferred sleeping on the ground.

Fragment5: Some more beds, family friends.

Dream6 DILD: I am in my hometown, in a familiar park and am lucid. I see a few dogs around, mostly small ones and larger one (no idea what breed) captures my attention. I keep looking at it and feel my emotions reflected in the dog. I observe it a for a while, the dream is stable, I am happy. By simply looking around, I unconsciously summon more dogs of different smaller breeds. I find this cool. [end of memory]

Fragment7: I see and talk to a politician I don’t like.

A bit out of time this week, an actually not so brief update:

13 May

- Me and a group of 5 kids decide to create a business. We go to register it, and the start up costs are only 100. We talk to some lawyer who says its is excellent because we are all from different countries.

- I become upset and leave the house of a friend wearing slippers. It is very hard to walk with these but I don't find this unusual.

- In our old neighborhood, there are lots of new stores. I go in a supermarket where they are making fresh carrot juice, it is green in color, I wonder a bit about that, but conclude that green carrot juice is ok.

14 May

- In our old place, my mom keeps talking, while I want to go to sleep. I tell her that her talking activates my brain and I cannot fall asleep. It is early morning, still dark outside and snowing.

- I see Dr dre on the street, he is smoking and I want to join him. Before I do, he has finished with the stuff. A skater boy pushes him hard and I think how rude kids are nowadays. I follow Dre to a building, but the cops are all over the place. I have a micro second of lucidity, remembering I read a part of Xanos's dream from yesterday and know it this the cause for this one. I lose my lucidity a second later and try to leave the building.

- I am in jail which looks like a normal house, my belongings are also there. A woman calls me and I think they are finally letting me go. She informs me that she allows me to go out, so that I can find a woman called Connie Flowers or something similar. A friend from school is also accompanying me. We look for the place where Connie lives, but cannot find her. I have another second brief moment of clarity and high awareness, when I am climbing a fence, while looking for her. I continue following the dream but get the brilliant idea to ask some old ladies to show me the way to Connie's house. They all point in one direction and that excites me a lot. I am absorbed back by the dream and we go to the place the women were pointing at.

- A false awakening where I jot down key words from the previous dream. I write Connie Flowers on a piece of paper. Had it not been this FA, I probably would have forgotten the name. It was so realistic that I actually looked down and expected to see it written in my notebook, but nothing was there irl.

- On a street, thinking about last night's dreams. I look at the sky, and decide to star gaze. I have my blanket with me. I get interrupted by a machine washing the streets. My slippers get washed away...

Note: micro-lucids, not counting
Pretty busy this week, I wish my sleep could condense, so that I still get some nice REM moments.

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Pre bed: Q10, probiotics, and cup of green tea (no problem falling asleep after yesterday's insomnia)

Other stuff: The guys had a planned event for today morning, so my chances to get some decent sleep and lucid were minimal, and yet...

Recall: As soon as I woke up, so did my bf and realized he's really late, started running around and talking to me as I tried to remember and write down the dreams. Took me a while to finish that.

Dream1: My parents have abandoned our home, and the place is falling apart. I go to the restroom and try flushing, but there is no water. It is because there was a leakage, so they have stopped the water. I wonder why don't they just fix everything instead of leaving it like that. My mom appears and says it is time for us to go.

On our way out we see an older friend of ours and ask her how she is doing. She replies very briefly, so I ask her about her son, I actually say the wrong name, but in the dream that's his name. She then begins a very long story that I don't feel like listening to, and I regret ever asking her. I tell her to send my greetings to him although I could contact him myself.

Soon her son/my friend comes by and we are drinking apple juice. As I pour myself some juice, I notice that there are insects like a dead yellow ladybug and some insect eggs the jug, and decide I won't be having any more juice. My friend is a bit offended that I don't want to drink the juice and we now have to throw it away. I leave the building, he remains to deal with the juice, but will join me later.

I am on the street, I hear music and I see native Americans perform at the end of the street. The come to the front, wearing traditional costumes. I also see some bright spots with different colors about half the size of a person above each of them and assume I am seeing their aura. I enjoy the show, they sing and perform some stunts. When it is over, I notice that I am the only person clapping hands so I feel a bit embarrassed. Why is nobody applauding? I conclude that if you do applaud, you are supposed to leave some money, and as I check my pockets I find that I don't have any.

Dream2: My bf is negotiating with my dad about a place we want to visit. Actually I have not told my dad about this so it gets a bit awkward. We postpone the discussion for another time and my dad is on his way home. He is taking a bus, and I am looking at the back of the bus, expecting to wave goodbye. He finally looks back and I see that he is talking to a friend of his, and there is also some unknown woman that he is friends with.

I suddenly find myself sitting on the backseat of the bus, and two of my friends are also sitting with me there. We propose an explanation that this bus is very spacey, so when we thought we were outside, we actually never left the bus. Ok, but we need to get out, especially that we know that this is a travel bus, and won't be making any stops until it reaches its destination. We go to at least try to inform the driver we need to get off.

As we move forward, we are in some kind of a building, but in our minds, we are still in the bus. Our goal is to reach the reception, so once we reach it, we will be able to leave the bus. The building is very strange, I am looking at some building plan, trying to navigate and find the way out. There are lots of doors and lockers, it looks really puzzling. I remark that everything looks so strange, it almost feels like in a dream. We continue looking around, I see some women working there as janitors and ask them where the reception is, but they can't help us.

One of my friends comes up with the idea that we need to inject ourselves with a time travel serum so we can escape this place. We prepare to do so, we have some syringes, the green time travel serum and start injecting ourselves with it. I get the largest dose, the serum is visible on hands, and our veins get extra green.

I am on some unknown street, and we have succeeded in changing the course of events and going back in time. I look at my fingers and notice that the knuckles have swollen, my fingers are bent in a very painfully looking way. This is strange, but I remember that some portion of the serum was in contact with my skin, which is what have caused this temporary side effect.

I take a brief moment and contemplate about time and what has changed. I look at a clothing store and I see that a guy that used to do something else before we changed time, is now famous and has his own label. I wonder about my memories because things have changed, would I know what has happened. I answer to myself, that I wouldn't but everybody else would have the new memory in place and I will learn what happened just as if I am listening to the news, that way I will get updated.

Dream3 DILD TOTM: I think this directly followed after our time travel. I enter in a room and notice a very old TV of a known brand and something that looks like a retro computer. The brand of the computer is also there, but it doesn't look familiar. I am in uplifted mood and say to some DC friend of mine. "Now we are going to have a look, have some fun reading the brand name and see if it changes". I stare at the logo, try reading it and expect to be normally able to read it.

Instead, I have difficulty focusing on the letters and it finally hits me! I really did not expect to become lucid today, but anyways I am happy about that. Oh right, once again time to concentrate on the tasks. My mind is a bit hazy, so I think I need to set the room for this, looking around for the items I need. I turn way too much and it feels more like spinning than looking around. I expect some mythological creature to just pop up while I do this, and mistakenly to see an egg as well. Nothing of the kind.

I notice at least five DCs sitting down, their backs facing me, as if they are all working on their PCs. I begin shouting, asking them to help me set the room and everything I need. Nobody is paying any attention to me. I become upset at this and finally decide to tell them they are not real. No reaction, their backs are really stiff. I repeat this again as if I am insulting them with those words. Finally, a girl with dark hair and vampire teeth answers back. I can barely hear what she is saying, she repeats it again " Oh, I am bla bla with fear". Bla bla is actually some m-word that does not exist at all. You are what? I ask her again. I repeat the strange m-word a few more times, trying to memorize it. It works but I begin to forget the dream. The vampire girl starts to laugh, and makes me laugh too. Overcame by happiness, I am able to control the DCs in the room and everybody bursts out laughing.

The dream fades and I am back in darkness, in my bed. I feel tired and heavy so no point to DEILD. I want to get up to journal, but fall asleep instead.

Dream4: I am in a classroom, and recognize at least one guy from school there. He is trying to tell me something, pointing at him, then at me. Me and him? No way, I tell him, then I realize that he is just pulling my leg. He continues with this strange stupid behavior and now tries to match a friend of his with another classmate of mine. These guys are crazy... (end)

I wake up, my bf wakes up, the whole world wakes up, and everybody is rushing around as I try to hold my dream memory and write it down. Finally TOTM!

Date: 7 May

During day: Re-energized by consuming lots of fruits

Pre bed: 3mg melatonin

WBTB duration: 16 mins, woke myself too much, hard time falling back asleep

WBTB: 2x peppermint oil tablets (200mg each)

Recall method: Woke pen-noted an almost illegible description during WBTB for Dream2, briefly reviewed in mind when back to bed

Fragment1: A large spider and then other insects, one was like a bee, I am trying to kill them, smashed them successfully

Dream2 DILD: My father has given me the task of preparing some kind of report for him. I am browsing in a chemistry textbook with different substances and after each substance there is a lengthy regression. My father wants a list of the substances only, which I don't think is right. He is annoyed that I am so slow and still not ready. I move on and jump over some furniture and see my grandma. I begin to explain that the regressions are the most important part in this report.

I continue on my way, and now am in something similar to a trailer with a friend of mine. Obviously she is keeping some items of mine there, one carton box with my stuff, that I want to take on my way. We talk about something. I notice that there is a wounded cheetah on the table. Actually there is no sign of wound but I know it is tired. I play with its tail, and caress it. It purrs and gently rubs its soft head and body on my hand. It is very enjoyable for both of us. I discuss the cheetah with someone, pointing out that it is the fastest creature on earth.



I then move on, I find myself in another place and someone tells me that my friends, and lists a number of people I supposedly know, are dead in another part of the city. Obviously machines have taken over the city and are destroying it. I look outside the window and see construction machines falling into an abyss. I have a bit of a paranoia from the machines because I know that they will soon come to destroy this part of town. I become desperate and say something like " I am so tired of such situations when I think that I am dreaming, but I am not, later it is a dream, then it is not!". I decide it is time to leave the place, and walk out a door. I notice a coca cola label sticker, but there is a poem on it. Perhaps I should leave something behind, I wonder, but there really is no point.

I am going to fly scout the area, to see if the machines are still in that part of town. I stretch my hands horizontally, like a cross, and then lift off in this position. I have good control of my movement this time, but still flying too high is a bit of challenge, it has to do with the vision of the ground below me.

It is hard to look down and perceive the flight distance and control the flight at the same time, but I fly in the direction that I desire. I am also lucid at this point. At above skyscraper height, I fly now forward, over an area with some water, HK in my mind, and look for a place to land. I have completely forgotten about the machines. Then the word "tasks" emerges in my mind and I remember I have work to do. For a second the thought crosses my mind that I may not have the time to do any tasks, but then answer myself that DV people won't mind that because I still had a good time flying.

As I land, I feel some kind of a string release me, I am then on the ground. I look at the DC in front of me. He is rather unpleasant but I accept this, his faces changes and he is now more beautiful and smiling. There is a DC woman to my left, but I pay little attention to her. I think at that point I may have had the gut feeling that this dream is coming to an end, and decide to stabilize before starting on any tasks. I remember to shout something and it feels a bit more stable. Then I throw myself on the ground, feel it as much as possible with my hands, little stones, etc. and as if that isn't enough, I decide to lick the ground. I also lick some kind of trash a blue thread, it tastes like rubber. I find this last part disgusting and decide to spit out. Saliva comes out of my mouth and at that moment I feel my physical lips moving. Before I have any time to react I find myself in my bed, still with my eyes closed, but very aware of my physical body. I feel there is no point to DEILD so I head for the journal.

Note: This wake was a few minutes before the WBTB alarm. I decide to use this wake as WBTB, take notes, visit restroom, wonder whether I should try the menthol tablets, have two tablets. The whole thing takes about 16 mins but I am too awake as I go back to bed. I wonder what to do from here...I decide I might cycle a bit to help me sleep but as I start with sight my mind shuts down and I begin drifting off, while still having awareness of my body. I cannot do even one cycle. It may sound like a good state to do WILD, but it isn't that good. I spent one hour in a semi-conscious borderline state where I occasionally saw and withdrew from dreamlets, yet wasn't dreaming, but rather laying there half-aware of my body and fully aware that I can't fall asleep. The tablets or the earlier wake gave me mild heartburn as well. I finally managed to fall asleep but then it was time to get up...

Dream3 mini-lucid: Together with some guys, this time we are on a flying machine, initially like a retro airplane, I am trying to control its movements, but it is hard. We are going to a conference related to technology, and approaching a block where this is taking place. I see a parking place for flying machines and land this now spacesuit? there. I hope nobody steals it while we are away. I look for number ten part of the building, we must be really close. There is also a McD in the building, which explains why there are so many people around. To my left is Justin Bieber, I am moderately happy. I am lucid for a very short while thinking about the peppermint oil tablets I took and whether they affect my experience. The alarm wakes me up.

Note: Happy about the first lucid, despite the fact that couldn't do any tasks. I feel this was at the end of the early more memorable REM cycles. The second lucid was very short so I am not including it in my count.

Date: 1 May 2013

Pre bed: 400mg valerian

Total sleep time: 6.30 hrs, pre travel

Recall: Had vivid dreams today, but my recall is very weak. A strange combination perhaps due to the valerian. Had to rush out of bed so that may have contributed too.

Overall impressions: It feels like I had a great night, whatever I was dreaming left me with positive feelings.

Dream1: I went somewhere before that and now am on my way back. Following me are the brothers of someone who looks like my boyfriend. He is Armenian and obviously so are his brothers. Overall positive feelings towards these guys. I think about them and how their family is looking for someone like me, to get married to their son. I also think about how I have figured out they are Armenian and find myself in an Armenian church.

I am back from wherever I came and me and another DC not sure if he was Armenian, are on the street. I am looking at the sunset and commenting it. The sun looks a bit strange but since a few days ago I was looking at a very strange sun phenomenon, caused by the setting sun and some rain clouds, I thought I am seeing something similar.

Fragment 2 mini-DILD: I am on the street and suddenly a strange creature, like a game-like monster with a skirt, similar to a Cyclops maybe, appears out of nowhere. I immediately become lucid and tell myself not to be afraid and that this is a dream. He vanishes as fast as he appeared, I find this a bit strange. Memory gap. (I did not know about TOTM May at the time, this is game-related residual I guess).

I suppose that after he was gone, I lost my focus and lucidity and engaged back in the dream. I have no other recall.

Prebed: 1 1/2 glass of soy milk

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Recall method: none, woke up briefly after each dream but was so sleepy, I didn't bother to write anything. Did not attempt WBTB either. Everything is so fragmented now, good thing I still remember although with much less detail the short DILD I had.

Dream1: We are back to high school and as usual we have to do an extra year. Everybody should be in class soon, I wonder again how are we going to do that. I am waiting for a friend of mine to show up as usual, I don't think he did.

Fragment2: One of my classmates, her features are a bit strange and now she also has a sister that looks very similar to her. (She actually has a brother)

Fragment3: On the beach, I am watching the waves. I think somebody, it kind of looked like a documentary and I was part of it, said that here the waves are just the right size to swim and maybe surf?

Dream4 mini-DILD: The background is grey and a number of DCs that look like zombies are walking towards me. I become lucid. I remember my recent resolution to freestyle during the next lucids and see what I can make out of the situation. I decide that I will use this one to train my reactions. Ok, so they are walking towards me, I don't care at all. I am just consciousness, no material substance, they can't hurt me. They are still advancing, and one comes so close that it actually touches my hand. I feel and see my hand and this destroys my concept of non-materiality. I brace myself for the impact. The dream slowly fades and I wake up.

Note to self: Maybe I should spend less time thinking and more time acting in LDs?

Fragment5: I go to the kitchen to look for the bottle of water I bought for myself irl and find that one of our guests has opened it and now holds it in her hand. It is too late to say anything, I just wish this hasn't happened.

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April Review

Number of ld nights: 9 (3 with double lds)

Number of lds: 12 (2 WILD, 2 DEILD, 8 DILD)

Quality: Good, with few exceptions, a few fade away issues and changing the scene is still a challenge

Recall: I am getting used to having a roller-coaster type of recall. I am not sure if I should place additional demands on that at the moment.

Things to work on:

- I think I might go for some flexibility on task completion and work more on stability. (But who knows in what kind of mood I will be?)

- I also want to go back to a more decent WBTB schedule after meeting all kinds of relatives and friends is over.

- There are other issues (like changing the scene) to work on but will see how it all goes and deal with them accordingly.

I got more than I expected in April, so I won't be expecting more than I can get in May. Just keep dreaming...