lucid

Comment: So I got tired of this heat plus other distractions reducing my ld count and decided to try with G

Preparation: I had pre bed insomnia, too wakeful plus nagging thoughts. Still, I decided against setting an alarm and going for a natural wake.

WBTB: Of course, I missed my desired WBTB but decided to go ahead. I was very sleepy due to the heat so walked around a bit. As soon as I took the pill and went back to the bedroom I saw this huge moth (a real one!) that came in last night and we couldn't catch it. It started flying around and caused me some additional wakefulness. I tried to ignore it and went to bed.

Started my usual induction mix and internal dialogue was fine but I felt too alert bodily to be able to fully fall asleep and be absorbed by those dreamlets/HI. Here are some that I remember, some were lucid, some not, I don't think it matters much in this case.

Mini-dream: I am somewhere and to my right is a guy that I identify as Xanous. He is holding some kind of a brush that I next take and inspect. White bristles, strange shape. I wake up. (Not much time to observe appearance, but in my mind it was him)

HI/dr: The head of state

HI/dr: The best lucid dreamers in DV [Names]

HI/dr: The tree of plenty from HMM game

HI/dr: A very large tropical plant plus other greenery

Micro-ld: I am standing on my grandma's balcony and it is night. I can hear nice music playing and look down to see a strange guy in front of the building. He is performing for a new place that has opened up just in front of grandma's. I have positive feelings towards the guy as he reminds me of a friend of mine. But most importantly I am very happy to have finally made it to a dream. The air is very stuffy and warm but I feel some kind of pleasant power in the air. I try to move my head to look around but meet some resistance as if my dream body isn't quite ready yet. I'm thrown out of the dream and into my super awake body.

I try to go back to sleep for some time but in vain so I give up and go to meditate in the other room.

I spend appx. 50mins meditating then go to the restroom. Moving from thought to thought and by means of association I remember my phone, see a quick phone image along with the thought, then another image quickly flashes by - the true location of my phone.

I have looked in the place two times but couldn't find it before. I decided to give it another try, this time a fully thorough search until I got out every little piece of crap from there. And at the bottom was of course - my phone!

Background: I bought a new phone but put it somewhere in a hurry in April, while preparing for guests. I totally forgot about it in May, looked for it everywhere in June, gave up in July and decided I would ask a DC where the hell it was. Asked a few times, got some nonsense and the best answer that came from DCs was "outside". Well, it was inside and not outside. Lol! Anyways, one task less.

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Dream quality and recall: Dreams were vivid but recall was challenging due to the fact that I continued sleeping after the lds. It took me a while to journal the lds and by the time I did, the non-ld memories almost vanished. Still, taking into account recent busyness, heat and other distractions, I am very happy with the results.

Early dream fragment: It is the 5th of July and I am watching lots of fantastic long-lasting fireworks in the sky

Early dream fragment: I am doing dumbbell exercises, it feels really good

WBTB: Was very sleepy but made an effort to review the tasks. Said a mantra a few times, then fell deeply asleep.

Dream: I enter grandpa's room and discover that grandma has forgotten some kind of a diary she kept hidden behind the door. I wait until she is not around and peek in the diary to find out it is actually my diary. So, I had forgotten it in 2007 and she hid it and has been reading little bits ever since. This is terrible because this diary fully describes my views, plans, etc. I want to take it back home, but my mom comes snooping around, so I have to be careful not to attract her attention.

Fragment: I am with a classmate going to a class meeting. We stop in front of a building.

LD1: For some reason am in someone's store that resembles an outlet of a totally unknown brand. I spend some time checking out clothes, mostly interested in pink and purple ones. There is a cardigan I like but it turns into a net? Classmates are also there, I am trying to get their attention. A woman working in the store comes to bring us what looks like orange juice, but she claims it is beer. My whole class is gathered around something like a long table and we are having a drink. I first wait for everyone to get served but soon notice that some are already drinking. I feel drunk. Other classmates tell the story of a girl with the same name as mine, about how she lived in some city where women are emancipated. I think this refers to me, but later find out that they are talking about another classmate because they say her family name.

I turn to one of my best friends and say to her that we better leave the place and go outside. I am not sure what we did there but I am overly bold and become lucid. I turn back to all the guys from my class that have been passively following me and say some things to them I don't any longer remember. I recall how long this dream has been going and have very little time left, so decide to hurry up. The scenery around me is absolutely beautiful. We just left a lone building and there is only grass around, hills, trees. It seems like fall is just beginning, the colors are very pleasant to look at.

My brain is more asleep than usual and the only task that comes to mind after looking at the scenery is flying to angel falls. (which is so totally CL!)

I lift off and do some maneuvering that I can't exactly recall. I keep on flying over some fantastic hills, but I just feel this is going to end very bad because I have no idea where I am going and I am in the air for too long. (Also my expectation was set very deeply on a subcon level).

I decide to land and end up facing what looks like a small waterfall. There is water pouring over some rocks just in front of me. While I know this isn't what I am looking for (too small), I go as close as possible to this water falling down the rocks, trying to feel the water on me as the dream fades away and I end up in the void.

I spend some time in the void, just waiting there. (I couldn't remember any advice as what else to do, but that was fine)

LD2:It's a bit hard to remember what the first image was that I was looking at here but I am lucid from the start. It is an open area, with lots of vegetation again. I try three tasks, not fully sure about the sequence of but mostly likely in this order.

I look around and see some hills and trees in the distance. Once again it is all very beautiful and this makes me happy. It also reminds me that I was headed towards Angel falls. The vegetation makes it just perfect for the task and I stare there and day dream for a very short while. I feel like I want to rush forward and just get there. However, I just passed a few DCs and I remember I had another task I wanted to do "ask a DC".

I turn to this overweight mid-age woman and she makes some kind of word-like sound like "nah", I ask her where my phone is and she says "outside". This cannot be possible, as I know the phone must be somewhere at home, so I object and ask for further explanation. She says something else that I can't exactly remember but it means that this the answer. I am not satisfied with the answer she gave me, so I look around and there is another DC woman more or less the same type, but different face. I go to her and she makes exactly the same word-like sound like the other one, I find this very strange. I proceed to ask her about my phone and she just answers "but didn't you already ask". Well, yeah, but I want to ask again, and it is none of her business, just tell me where the phone is. I am annoyed with her and start some senseless explaining. After a while, I give it up and move on.

Still in the same place I decide to do the fireworks task and look around for some fireworks to swallow. The problem is that I am not in a room where my mind easily makes all kinds of objects but in the greenery and there's only grass and some small bushes there. I somehow remember I can do a summon from my pocket. I have the memory that my pockets are currently empty but still decide to search in my pocket. It is indeed empty but I manage to scrub something there, I hold my fist tight for a second and then I expect to see a mini-firework in there. Unfortunately, it is just a purple brown pill. I become confused thinking I really had this pill in my real pocket and that's causing the problem. Anyways, I concentrate on the pill, trying to make it look at least a bit like a firework but in vain. Somewhere after this intense concentration the dream fades.

I don't remember anything from the void here anymore.

LD3: I appear in some kind of public building restroom, still lucid, where I am looking myself in the mirror. I feel some pain in my tooth and have a closer look. Yeah, something is not quite right there and that worries me that I might actually have done something to my real tooth. I vaguely remember Penny talking about tooth dreams, and try to ignore the issue. Yet, I keep on checking myself out in the mirror until I zoom in to see and feel my entire row of teeth in a painfully twisted position. Dreams can really get crazy, I think to myself, remembering how Checker's fingers were twisted or something like that.

Finally, I brake my teeth fixation and walk around, trying to exit the restroom. Slightly worried that the dream might destabilize, although there wasn't an indication?, I decide to rub my hands and see if anything feels different. I remark that everything feels absolutely normal, and rubbing my hands on this occasion does not feel different from waking life. I also remember to jump a bit supposedly to stabilize, but it's more like some mischievous act of fun. I jump a few times, although cautiously as I don't want to destabilize the dream by losing the sense of my feet while mid air.

Trying to leave the restroom, I walk around in this building, but get lost in a maze of corridors. I go back, then try again and end up in some creepy looking corridor, lit by a single old bulb, shining bright. The whole place looks like from some kind a cheap movie scene and I don't like it at all. I don't want to be there. I get paranoid, staring at the corridor which turns to the left and soon some kind of a non-human thing is summoned by me.

Before he even has the chance to move closer I know that the only way out of this place is to phase through the wall in front of me and I do so.

I immediately end up in the void, but am still a bit paranoid that this thing might follow me into the next dream. I try to reason this whole situation, that he doesn't exist anymore, and feeling with certainty that once in the void, it is over. From then on, I remember to concentrate on Angel falls and on appearing on top of it. I do my best to create sensations that I am there.

I don't remember what happened, I just found myself in the next scene.

LD4: My memory gets even worse as I fall deeper into sleep. I am on the street, facing some building. My concern at this point is recall. I realize that I have been having dream after dream with no opportunity to journal. I try to remember how many lds so far, four, try to recall some details as I feel they will be lost. Using either my fingernails or some other object, I write down the number of dreams with a key word next to each to help with my recall once I wake up. This whole task is extremely difficult and towards the end of the process I begin to hear non-lucid dream thoughts interfering in my head.

Soon I lose lucidity as a Heroes of Might and Magic scene develops in the building in front of me. There are the two players' armies and obviously mine has been defeated because I didn't send reinforcements, while the other player did. The armies look quite 3D life-like with the largest beast looking quite scary.

NLD: Someone informs bf about his dentist and that some kind of refund is due because he did the dental work in a hurry. Tom Wilkinson is the dentist.

NLD: I am in a tram, there is a strange looking skinny old man in front of me. He is dressed like Gandhi, also has some kind of flat drawers on his chest, as some sort of a medallion. We talk for a short while and unfortunately I can't recall more detail anymore.

Soon the dream ends and I am in my body semi-conscious and extremely sleepy. For some reason my physical body decides to change position, so my legs move. This is what wakes me up a bit more and I decide it is better to journal before I forget everything.

Date: 08 July

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Sleep quality and recall: I have been sleep deprived for a number of days in a row, so I really needed my sleep. As soon as my more memorable rebound began (after 4.5 hrs of sleep and an involuntary WBTB), I went directly into a lucid, took key notes only, went back to bed to have another chain of lds. Sleep was the priority so only took brief notes. Also due to deeper sleep in which I think these LDs occurred plus them being one after the other, I was going deeper into the dreamworld and some details were lost.

Early dream: I am in some house and think about a family friend who's visiting in the dream. She will sleep in a particular room, I am now in the room and examine two beds, and a very long couch and make some comments about that. Soon she comes in and we start talking. I am very happy to see her, so I hug her and kiss her on the cheek, one side only, and she does exactly the same, which I find a bit strange. She has short ginger/copper hair, a really beautiful color and looks much younger and as if she has lost some weight compared to rl.

Fragment: my dad was involved. I just remember cleaning something outside, wearing a short top which makes me feel uneasy as some guys are staring at me, so I go inside.

LD1: My first memory is that I am standing and possibly I wake in this bed in a room that vaguely reminds me of my first room. It is dark and there is a sense of creepiness and I explore around as the room changes to a larger apartment. Unfortunately, I don't have much memory of what I looked at in the first part of this ld. This took some time and then I look out if the window and see some strange graffiti. This whole thing is moving and it looks like a picture of graffiti next to another picture of graffiti, below and above each more graffiti pictures and some people there as well. It looks insane/trippy. There seems to be some story developing as outside on the street and to the right some kind of danger is making these people on the graffiti window want to run away. I briefly wonder about what kind of supp I took this night and remember it was the B6, which slightly worries me. (I tend to have more aggressive/chaser dreams with it). Yet, I try to control my reaction as I really don't want to spend the ld running from this thing.

I concentrate on other items in the room. Some kind of a cupboard or whatever, I just see thousands of tiny objects, each one is different and unique. I am literally overwhelmed with detail and unable to remember any particular item. The images remain stable. While this is extremely interesting and I enjoy examining these items, I realize that one can sink to uncontrollable depths due to indulging and decide to move on. I see a glass door and just pass through it as if it is nothing, and wonder a bit about that. I also briefly check out my reflection on this glass door. This room is also very dark and I really don't feel like exploring in this condition as I begin to worry I might meet something I am not going to like.

I try to back off but then get paranoid that I am summoning something as I keep on staring at the darkness behind a door. Soon something begins to form there and comes towards me. Luckily, I only managed to get some grey formless furniture to appear from the door and come towards me. As it gets in my proximity, I instinctively lift it with my mind, and hold it in the air for a while. This reminds me of various tasks that were included in the competition, and I go through my own tasks, but most of them involve some DCs. The only one that I remember I can do here is to transform into a tiger. I simply think of that, and possibly because I am so deep into the dream, it is quite easy. I immediately find myself on fours, and check if my paws are those of a tiger, they are! The only problem I seem to have is with my head/neck. There is some tension and I am unable to look ahead as my head is facing the floor. I am trying to fix this but it doesn't work much and I experience all kinds of weird sensations, connected to vision, my body, floating, etc.

I think this is how the dream ends. I wake up feeling very sleepy (some 5 hrs after bed), take some key notes and review in mind as not to forget. I also think that there was another task that I can do without DCs, swallow fireworks. I fall asleep again.

LD2: I find myself in what looks like my first room again, some floating feeling again, and I am in a normal upright position. Something about this whole thing feels weird as I am thinking what the hell am I doing here, I realize this is a dream just like some time ago. The room is dark again and I remember how this is not an issue for Xanous anymore, but it certainly bothers me, it is just unpleasant, and not just the darkness, but rather the whole atmosphere.

I remember that I don't have to be confined to using conventional means so decide I will use a flashlight to help me. (I had previously thought about this) I look around and there are all kinds of things on the furniture but no flashlight. At this time, I remember that there was this other no DC fireworks task that I can still do and look for some fireworks among the objects, but don't find any. My memory is a bit vague as to what I do afterwards. After spending some more time looking around, I finally gather the courage to risk and phase through the wall or some furniture on the wall. It swallows me and I float in the void.

LD3 fragment: I am in some other room but this time it is daytime. I am examining the surroundings, very enthusiastic, but don't remember almost anything. I want to go outside so I carefully climb on the window and try to cross over to the street. As I do, I feel as if I am phasing, but do some movements to emerge through this invisible sticky water-like material, and hold on to the dream. I lose my balance and fall forward, ending up in the void, where I am floating and rolling at the same time.

LD4: I suddenly find myself in a room, that slightly looks like that of bf. Bf is to my left and we are discussing something. I am facing a wardrobe with a mirror and notice that am wearing a long Chinese dress. It looks a bit strange since I can't figure out why am I dressed like that. I take a closer look in the mirror. Not only that but I just look ridiculous, it is oversize, my hair is kind of weird too. This is a dream. OK, so finally I can do TOTM. I hug my bf's DC, hold like that for a while, then wait for a reaction. He doesn't do anything just breathes and there are some hissing-like sounds coming from him. He finally manages to whisper the word "something". I step back and look at him. While I consider him to be my bf he is a different DC now, more like Nicolas D'Agosto.

There is something unpleasant about him, but his proximity triggers some sexual desires on my part and I start thinking of what to do. I tell myself that it is ok to do that if I want to and think about DV and how people are fine with it, and how I am going to report that...So I am very close to him, both of us with clothes and I am struggling with myself as he just waits there. Two opposing forces are acting on me until I finally manage to move away and just observe him for a bit.

I remeber other tasks with DCs - "assign a DC", I feel like there's no sense in doing that, then "ask a DC". This one sounds good so I decide to go ahead and ask him where my phone is. (I lost a phone at home). He is totally dumb and doesn't say anything just assumes some strange waiting for me to jump on him kind of position. The dream fades?

LD5: I am in my high school and bf's mom is also there.I am still lucid but this is extremely hard now as I feel I am sinking deeper into sleep. I am mostly worried that all lucid memories will be totally lost as I haven't journaled and try to remember how many lds I had before. I count four. I continue down the corridor, float and fly up the stars in yet another float/fly style with my hands locked like in a prayer/or like I am swimming. As I float up, I just remember the ld with the tiger transformation and the issues I had with my head. I can somehow compare the experiences and sensations during both events (transformation and current float moving).

My floating is somewhat hard to control not in terms of where I am going but in terms of how I'm seeing. It's like I am in weightlessness turning over randomly, seeing the world upside down, sideways, etc. As I am trying to figure out a solution for these problems, the dream fades, and I if I recall correctly I float in a similar way in the void. Or maybe not. I spent so many dream ends shortly floating in the void that night, it is getting hard to distinguish those.

LD6: I wake up my first room, on the bed, it is dark. I get a bit tired of this scenario. This time I am lying on the bed while some sort of indigo/dark blue energy is attacking me. This does not feel nice at all as I literally sense this thing is energetically feeding on me. I wake up from the nasty feeling.

These dreams took around 30-40 mins of sleep. After waking up, I take some brief notes. The last dream left me a bit distressed so even though I need my sleep badly I am reluctant to immediately fall asleep. I try to dissipate the mood, then go into more unmemorable deep sleep.

LD7: There was another LD that I vaguely as I lost lucidity at some point and then had 3 NLDs. I remember two lucid fragments: one where I was checking out shadows - my own shadow and that of someone else and some objects. I was excited to have finally noticed this. I conclude that the shadows are very realistic and on this occasion there is no difference from RL, at least according to my dream logic at the moment. I also remember organizing an erotic scene, but it got interrupted by other dream themes.

Other dreams: I remember having three NLDs that were cool and interesting, but unfortunately cannot recall as much as I would like to.

NLD: I am having a tiger that I take care of. For some reason this tiger is activated into life and then made to hibernate by being drained and filled with liquids like water and blood. It is a good tiger and I wonder why did I decide to switch it off by taking life away from it. Someone tells me that the more you do that to these types of animals the worse they get every time they come back. The give a list of symptoms that will develop over time, the first one being aggression. I am worried about my tiger and want to bring it to life as soon as I can tomorrow. At the same time, it seems I have another animal, that is some kind of leopard that morphs into a dalmatian/leopard with the head of a bull terrier. This animal already suffers from side effects of the process and is ultra aggressive. I try to lock it in a room and think what esle to do.

NLD: I come across a beautifully decorated box. If contains two strangely shaped crystals, a bit a like the tooth or horn of some animal. These crystals belong to some kind of a ruler/king who has now sold them. They have creepy magic powers that are very strong and can be used to one's advantage
but there's some sort of negative side effect too.

A bit later me and a friend of mine, possibly a classmate go out on a strange street. There is a minor quake and I warn her that there will be another one as this is part of the scenario.

NLD fragment: I am going up some rails that are in the sky. It looks as if I am travelling and want to cross over to Sweden, where there is an invisible track and another one to a nearby location. But who can fly (by himself) for such a long distance?

Comment: The 2-6lds were just following one after the other and I did not touch on my body to DEILD.

Date: 2 July

Pre bed: SJW, 100mg B6, 1 p.oil capsule

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Early LD (+2hrs after falling asleep): Unfortunately, I don't remember much as I feel asleep after the LD (even though I thought about it briefly) then woke up some time after that to visit the restroom therefore managed to put some key words. Obviously a very exciting to me LD, somewhere outdoors like a yard with lots of DCs and had something to do with TOTM.

WBTB: p.oil capsule and some latte. I was very sleepy and did not spend the necessary time out of bed, I fell asleep as soon as my head hit the pillow. I have very little recall of the dreams that followed too.

Dreams: related to classmates again. Back to school for some event.

OBE/FA/LD: Just before final wake and I guess after some dream I can't remember, I end up in the void. I concentrate on my hearing and notice sounds that most likely come from outside. As I do that I end up in my room. There is some confusion because the part of the bed and room that I see totally looks like my room and everything is very clear. I start some maneuvering to fall asleep/ld?, change the scene, move my dream body while having no idea which body is moving after all. After these dream body movements, I fall on the floor with some bedsheets. While the fall is not physical, I am still slightly confused and think that I may really have fallen down, so continue with my efforts to project somewhere else. Then I notice a toy of mine is on the floor as well, but it is transparent and there's two of it, so that finally works as a plausible RC, but before I could react, I wake up for real and of course I very suspiciously look around and RC.

Comment: Yeah, I definitely prefer those types of WILDs/DILDs where you just enter a dream somewhere else. These in my bed/which body is it type of situations are just so confusing. Also I should increase time out of bed during WBTB even if this means some insomnia, because I have been sleeping so deep lately that recall and LDs suffer. Well, at least I get some nice sleep.

Comment: A bit behind with updating

Date: 30 June

Pre bed: 3mg mel

WBTB: Some latte

Total sleep time: appr. 6 1/2 hrs

Early dream1: I am posting to our conversation in DV

Dream Fragment2: There is an old apple pudding that I try to throw away in the sink but the apples won't dissolve.

Dream3 Irritating Kitten: I am on the street where we live and there is a grey kitten that catches my attention. We play for a while but as I leave it starts to behave like a crazy cat, always coming back to me faster and faster. Its claws and little teeth are sharp, I want to get rid of it. Finally, I toss it aside and as it lands on the other side of the street, it turns into a dead rat, with its insides open. I have concerns of what will people think about hygiene, having a dead animal on the street, but then some guys come pick it up.

WBTB: I was initially worried that I am not wakeful enough, so headed for the latte. It was not the best morning to do so as there were lots of distractions and I ended up very nervous, struggling to fall asleep for an hour and a half.

Falling asleep/LD: I can't even remember where, it was a dream forming around me but I woke

Falling asleep/LD: I appear walking down the street of my hometown. Some people are passing by, I try to hold on to a big tall guy but the dream slips away and I wake up.

WILD (Nyx style): I find myself in some room with soft light, as the dream forms. For some reason, I attempt to control the dream by using a touchpad screen? I stop doing this and look around. The dream is unstable and I try to engage whoever is around. There are three-four DCs and I immediately recognize my parents there. The memory of quickly phasing through the walls comes to mind but I dismiss it, then run through some tasks that I remember and decide to ask the DCs there including my parents how to find Xanous. Unfortunately, these DCs are totally dumb, so I get almost no reaction from them, no matter how many times I ask. They go to sleep on the few beds that are in the center of the room. The dream is still unstable (possibly because I am super wakeful), so I start jumping on the bed (white bed sheets) to engage myself a bit more. I find it quite pleasant and I don't have to worry about breaking anything. I am bounce-walking now, trying to stabilize this way, as I notice the instability is still here to an extent. Then as I am jumping in front of a wooden desk, my leg hits some small item on the floor and it even hurts a bit. I find this strange.

Finally, I calm down, look around the room and ponder my next action. The light in the room is very soft and pleasant, as if coming from a lamp. Lots of the furniture that I barely notice is wooden. I remember three wooden doors on the two walls in front of me. They are all closed. Initially, I decide to stay in the room and explore it, but then the door in front of me is open. It is dark but I think of playing a bit, open the door with TK, nice! I go forward, now there is light in the room. As I am slowly and carefully moving forward, I notice that there are windows showing the reflection. Very interested to check it out, I concentrate on it and worryingly see someone else's reflection there. So behind the door as I am entering is another DC that obviously corresponds to this reflection and she just...well I just didn't expect her to be there, so got a bit scared.

I fully enter this new room and look at the DC in front of me. At this point the dream is super stable and vivid. I carefully examine her looks and try to memorize as much detail as possible.Ok, I now try to talk to her, but as she replies there is no sound. I continue asking her questions but can't understand anything, just that she answers "no" about something and she moves her head in negation. My speaking is more like thoughts and without sound, but she understands me. I truly start to believe that I have crossed into another multiverse and that this is the cause of our inability to communicate. I ask her if it is because of energy? Does she see me at all? Her mother comes around as well,I continue questioning them - do they see me, or can they only hear me? I realize that I am spending way too much time and concentration on this apparently useless conversation, and orientate myself in the room so that I can report in what kind of room I was. It is a kitchen, no, a dinning room. There is a large table with some chairs.

My attention is caught by another reflection in the window. It is day outside. I am curious to see how I look so move closer and notice a white T-shirt with some red flowers on it, find the clothes interesting. These DCs are all around me still in another section of the room, now that might have been the kitchen. Going through tasks again. Ok, let's do "lucidity DC" just in case. I don't believe I will see these DCs ever again, but I still tell them that if they ever dream of me and see me they have to tell me it's a dream, etc. Since the dream is quite stable, I once again I think I might try to find Xanous. I ask the DCs to help me find him, pause for a moment and listen. There is no single sound in this dream. They are still trying to interact with me, saying something but in vain. The mother holds a roll of blue paper in her hands and I come up with the idea that they write down whatever they want to say. They take too long and as I wait doing nothing, the dream dissolves. I do a lousy DEILD attempt then impatiently wake myself up.

Maybe I should have been more persistent with my attempt to go back there but I was way too awake and overexcited.

Date: 25 June

Pre bed: SJW, 2xdrops p.oil

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

WBTB: 1 capsule p.oil, some frap

Comments: The sleep quality was very nice, so if I was simply looking to get some great sleep with vivid dreams and a nice atmosphere, this was the combo. Unfortunately the frap didn't help me much during WBTB. Managed to get another of my from scratch LD pack just before final wake.

Fragments: the whole night was about me and my classmates, back to my hometown and meeting everybody, birthdays, calls, etc. I have enjoyed the set of dreams, the mood was overly positive. There might have been some short lucidity involved pre WBTB but I have little memory. (susp.)

There also were some attractive items in a store, cakes with cream on top, and interesting looking flowers. Later on, a man was in the ladies room with a camera, I found that strange, but needed to dream pee.

LD Pack: I experienced two blackouts during the dream and this I guess made remembering it much harder.

I find myself on the top of a building, in front of me is another building, some kind of balcony and kids are jump falling downwards. This looks pretty weird but as I move forward I see that they falling on the surface of another level. They quickly come to me trying to interact but I am not interested, plus I need to stabilize. I rub my hands and concentrate on the feeling, there is some numbness below one of my thumbs. The dream feels fine, so I turn around and continue to enter the building, some kind of store initially. It seems like I am wearing tons of winter clothes and am sweating. I think at this point the dream fades and I wait.

The dream continues and I rub my hands again. There are little drops of sweat all over my palms, I try to find something to dry myself with and get some paper from my pockets. I go on with entering this store on top of the building and now find myself in some kind of a corridor. I decide it's time for my transformation, so go on all fours and pretend that I am a tiger. To my right is the glass of the corridor, dark outside, and I can see my reflection, the reflection of a tiger. I move around and try to behave like a tiger, roar although not as loud. I look at my paws but they keep shifting, the size of a tiger paw, and morphing between a fist and a paw. My reflection in the glass remains that of a tiger and that gives me some confidence. I keep on roaring and pretend now that I am fighting an invisible enemy so stand on my tiger feet and beat the air in front of me with my paws. At that moment some kind of a strange creepy mask flies out of nowhere straight into me/my face, but I attack/catch it with paws. The dream destabilizes and all is black.

I wait a bit and the dream comes back. More or less the same location but the surroundings have changed. I am happy because everything is much more stable at this point. It looks a lot like some kind of subway passage now. The way splits in two - stairs that do down and some other area that looks more appealing, but following the momentum I go down. Lots of DCs on their way as well. I have the feeling that I will get lost there, so go back up the stairs and to the other area. Some moment if enjoyment again because I was able to go back where I wanted to? It looks like a station and there is a sign with the name and of course I go closer to have a look because I want to know where I am. Dounut station? I concentrate but more letters are added. I realize that what I am doing is pointless, so move to the side. Maybe this isn't such a bad time to get naked, although I am really tired of trying and it not working out. I decide I will let my DCs undress me this time. Gosh I have tons of clothes on me. Anyways a DC woman in front of me is trying to take off my dream green cashmere pullover but stops before it covers my head. Another DC is working on my jeans and panties. This is very close to turning into a dirty scene. But that female DC is just so stuck dealing with my clothes, the dream fades and I find myself in bed. I wait but can't go back and maybe for the best.

Comment: OK, I really hope this is the last dream I am trying to do that. I really have no more interest in it, and my prospective memory should be concentrating on other tasks.

Date: 24 June

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

Comments: went to bed extra early, took some valerian and planned to caffeinate myself in the morning. Missed my natural wake, it was really late to WBTB plus caffeine, so just enjoyed my sleep. Got lots of fragments, here the most interesting ones.

Fragment1: I am in someone's house and do something that causes lots of expensive looking plates to fall on the floor. As I am watching them fall they arrange themselves/land softly so nothing is broken, I feel relieved. A butler comes and starts examining the plates, and picks up one with a crack, then breaks it and blames it on me.

Fragment2: I see I young guy from rl (that I am calling from now on) "the preacher". I have some realizations about reality and dreams that I want to share with him because I know he may understand them.

Fragment3: My school teacher wants me to immediately fill out my bank details on a form that is printed on a yellow napkin. My best friend from school invites me to The Offspring concert as she has an extra ticket. I hug her, but say no because the concert is too late?

Fragment4: I am sad about declining the concert invitation and have second thoughts. Now at our first home, I am preparing to go out. The clock shows 8:50 pm and I figure the concert starts at 9. As I prepare the time is 8:20 and I am a bit more relaxed because I am not that late after all.

around 15 mins before final wake, I wake up with full bladder, but want to sleep so roll over

LD: I appear on the street of my hometown, still having some residual thoughts about my best friend, but hey this is a dream! I am truly surprised to make it to a lucid, since I decided to let it go today. Anyways, let's enjoy this. Unfortunately, my bladder is bothering me and it is very hard to concentrate. I rub my hands and the dream is stable. Trying to ignore the bladder, I look around, there are many DCs on the street going their way. The "lucidity DC" task comes to mind and I try to stop someone. First there is a black couple and I say a few words to them about lucidity, but can't finish my sentence as they ignore me and go away. I get another DC woman, and tell her. She nods her head, but I have doubts about her ability to find me in a dream and tell me to become lucid. Therefore I continue terrorizing DCs, looking for someone else to talk to about it.

I turn around the corner and there is the black couple again. I am thinking that it is very weird that I run into the same DCs that I just talked to, especially since I didn't expect to see them. They wear stylish black clothes, woman is with a knee-lenght skirt. This time they are much friendlier, greet me and we shake hands with both of them. Alright! I concentrate and say two-three sentences about them finding me, telling me this is a dream to make me lucid. The very last word of the final sentence was lucid, and I notice how I have just been saying the whole Ld speech with a different accent. Very cool and they like it too. Task done so I leave them and cross the street with many other DCs there. Very crowded today. I continue walking in this still familiar looking street as I run 3 other tasks in my head, but don't feel like I can do any of them right now. As I walk forward and contemplate what to do next, the dream fades and I am back in bed with a slight feeling of the void. I could have DEILDed today, but needed to peeee so badly plus there wasn't much time left.

Pre bed: Gingko, l-arginine

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

Dream quality and recall: Very vivid, unstable, hard to recall all details and honestly didn’t notice them as much

WBTB: >1/2 latte, insomnia mostly caused by heat, dehydration and discomfort due to heavy junk food consumed at dinner

Technique: In the approx. 2 hours of insomnia, I faithfully did all possible techs I could think of, including mantras, SSILD, WILD, noticing dreamlets, initially to induce an ld, but mostly just trying to get back to sleep. As I was dehydrated had to drink some water then go to restroom several times, which made insomnia worse.

Dreamlet: some kind of palm tree as it is being painted

Pre WBTB dream impressions: high vividness, flying, friendly dogs in hometown (can't remember anything, just there was some strangeness involved)

Post WBTB LD Pack 1 (DILD+ 2xDEILD): I finally fall asleep, and find myself in a bus in a familiar city. My bf is to my right and there is a woman in front of me with a baby that she is about to feed. To her left is man, just another passenger that reacts to her moving around. I want to remark that there is not enough space for any action but then notice the hand of the man, he is now a woman and on his palm, slightly below the little finger is what looks like an eye.

An eye on his hand? Alarm! This can only be a dream! I am more excited than usual, possibly because I spotted this eye. I keep looking at it with interest. The eye on the hand is following the movement of the woman with the baby. Soon enough there is a whole face on the palm of that DC. It looks really crazy and cool! I am overjoyed and for some reason decide to shout out loud exactly "Dreamviews", this stabilizes the dream somewhat. Then I begin to ponder about undressing when the dream fades, I quickly pass through the void, and then feel my physical body.

I wait a bit and the dream picks up again. It is as if I am following a dream scenario so my dream self is on the way somewhere. This is very close to where I was previously in the bus. There is a small garden next to the bus station, so I am there, trying to hold on to the dream. I concentrate on the ground and look at the ultra detailed and vivid grass. Reminding me of the movie Gladiator, I have a moment of enjoyment touching and playing with lots of beautifully looking grass ears. They have a slight pinkish hue and are not like any grass type I have seen. As I move my hand from one grass ear to another, the dream slowly fades, I go through the void, and am back in bed.

I wait some more and the dream is back, but this time it is super unstable. If I remember correctly at this point I also get some of my dream paralysis, being unable to move my hand/shoulder (right one this time), but I try to ignore it, adjust my posture and it somehow disappears. I am more or less on the same place, I am trying to make my dream body behave according to a fake dream scenario and pretend that I am going somewhere again. On the street, facing a traffic lights pole, the dream is slipping away. I hug/grasp the pole and try to hold on to it, feel it, etc, then remember all that discussion about making out with the dream. I stretch out my tongue and start licking the pole with all might, but initially don't feel anything. I keep on licking until finally there is a distinct sensation of my tongue and the pole is more solid. The dream fades and I am back in bed - I have been moving my real tongue as well!

I decide to visit the restroom and continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

Random lucid fragment: I remember looking at the sky and seeing some strange white transparent ghost-like bird. I follow its flight and remember the other lucid where birds were transparent. My thinking is that maybe this is an OBE and real creatures look like that. I try to interact with the bird by calling it, exerting some kind of dream control on it.

Non-ld: Some kind of a FA, in our bedroom, with bf and Angela Merkel comes in. I am very happy that I will finally have the chance to ask her a few questions about her meetings and the state of the world economy. My memory is vague, but we talk about something, the dream fades and I wake up.

Struggling to fall asleep again.

LD Pack 2 (WILD + 2xDEILD): Because of the going in and out of the void, my memory is really elusive with this one, although it was very vivid and each part lasted a while.

I find myself in what vaguely reminds me of my ex-room. My boyfriend is sleeping in the bed. I notice that it is kind of dark (but not totally dark), so more out of habit than rational thinking, I head to where the light switch is, find a different looking light switch, give it a bit of a thought "What am I doing, expecting the room to become better lit after using a dream switch?", find this absurd, but turn on the light nevertheless. There is a slight change and some more light. It's ok. I am in mischievous mood, so decide to wake up my bf's DC. No way this DC puppet is my bf, it looks like him but I know it's not him. On with my task "assign a lucidity DC", I engage in a long talk with fake bf DC, explaining to him that he should keep on reminding me that this is a dream. He looks kind of dumb and doesn't respond anything and there is something creepy about him as well. I am starting to have regrets about waking this DC up. There is also some aggressive buzzing, some object is pushing me just next my right foot, I can feel it there, and really don't want to have anything to do with it or the fake bf DC. I look down trying to brush the small aggressor away, but there is nothing there, just my clothes and body....the dream destabilizes, passing throughout the void....I remain still.

Back to the same room, but of course it has changed a bit. It is on the ground floor and leads to an inside yard. One other thing that is worth noting is that I also heard some music playing in the background while in the room, it stopped while in the void, and then resumed with the dream. It is bright and sunny outside, autumn hues lit by the sun. My mood reflects the scene and the scene my mood. I am holding a bottle of coke, wonder whether I should leave it, but notice how much better I feel with my hands around an object. I continue walking, there are residential buildings surrounding the yard and it is raining and sunny at the same time. I want to have some fun with the rain, enjoy the scene. I lift up in the air in exhilaration, this lasts a while and as I am midair the dream fades and I am in my bed.

I know what to do, I wait and then wait some more. This time it is harder, but the dream comes back (same place). I feel my head touching the branch of a tree. It is as if I landed on the tree with my forehead. I shortly wonder whether this sensation may come from my physical body, but dismiss the thought. On the ground now, and happy to be back in this nice place. I notice a puddle and sure enough there is my reflection staring back at me. My dream reflection looks great, smiling, and my hair is just perfect. (It rarely looks that well styled irl) Naturally, I am impressed by this and especially by the flawless hairstyle.

Then it dawns on me that this was TOTM and I remember CL's comment that it seems like I always try to do all TOTM in one dream. At that moment, I am super confident that I will be able to do all the tasks even if the dream interrupts. The problem is I never memorized all 5 because of my task flexibility goal this month, so I try very hard to remember what they all were. I remember that with the dinosaur egg and look around. The yard is merging into an open room with all kinds of junk objects on the floor. I am looking for an egg. There are two balls, and one changes to have the hard surface of an egg and elongates slightly and there we have it - a perfect red egg the size of an ostrich's egg. (Finally some positive side effect of dream instability). I put the egg under my butt and start hatching it, holding it with one hand. It cracks and I expect something to come out and then of course the dream destabilizes and I am in the void in a strange position and feeling my body as well. I wait and wait but nothing happens this time, so I wake up and try to remember as much as possible before it fades.

Counted as 2 Lds (official) and 1 micro ld (info only).

PS: Writing this whole thing took much longer than dreaming it.

Date: 20 June

Pre bed: 200 mg valerian, 100mg B6, podcast

Atmosphere: guest, heat, noises

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

DILD1: I am in our old neighborhood with my mom and a truck driver discussing something. I don't like him. The next moment the three of us are in a public restroom and it looks like he used it just before we did. I get obsessed about not wanting to touch the toiler paper after him, I notice there is something on the paper, plus it is all soaked. My mom comes up with some napkins from her bag that I also don't want to use.

The scene changes and we find ourselves in a movie theater. A fake memory forms that we just watched some movie, went to the restroom, and now mom is sneaking in to watch the next movie for free. One thing that looks unusual is that there is only one single long row of seats, but at the time, I conclude that this is normal. My mom sits while I try to leave the place. I spend some time waiting for her, and in the meantime she is looking for 3D glasses. I notice lots of sunglasses on the floor, that I identify as mine as start putting them in my bag. I head towards the exit, but the door is locked, there is no handle too. I get a fake memory that this is normal during movies. I think I use some form of dream control and the door opens, but behind it is another door which I open the normal way.

I find myself in a long somewhat creepy corridor with strangely colored walls, that reminds of dreams I had. And sure enough, I become lucid. I stare at the walls for a while, wondering if I should go ahead and plunge in them, but based on gut feeling decide against it. I move forward a bit but suddenly I get a sensation that my hair band is falling and my head feels kind of uncomfortable, up to the point where it is so distracting I cannot continue walking? I wonder if I should waste time to try and fix a ponytail but know this is a bad idea to do during an ld, so just remove the hair band and my hair feels fine. (talk about vanity )

I keep walking down the corridor that dynamically changes and become a bit like an inside balcony, and I can see part of the floor below. As I reach the end of the corridor/now balcony and look to my left the light downstairs goes off. Downstairs looks a bit creepy and I say something like "Oh, come on", but then hear some kind of a click sound and the light is on again. Then off again and finally on. What the hell is going on, I think. I turn around and something like a room is beginning to form. There are many DCs here, mostly children and a guy, they all look pretty much the same, very blond with red cheeks. I find this strange and the guy is not quite finished in the face, some of his features are not there so he is not very pleasant to look at. I decide I don't need to concentrate that much on him. I think about some of my goals. The first one that comes to mind is "assign a lucidity DC", so I start shouting at these strange blond DCs something about them and lucidity. Most of them don't pay me any attention, but my voice is so loud, I wonder if I am doing this irl too.

Then I look around, have a moment of aha realization as I remember the naked task. Of course, with so many DCs in the room, it is perfect for the task. So I first try to memorize the place and DCs a bit more (to be able to describe in detail, the way I do it, it is really bad for stability!) In front of me is a strange looking desk and three kids, one of them has silver sparkle decorations on his face. This time I am wearing only underwear with my casual type of bra. Just as I figure an easy way to take it off, the dream abruptly ends and I find myself back in bed.

I am very aware of body and need to go to the restroom. As I get back to bed I struggle with the heat, and am interrupted by the alarm of the guest, who always sets it hours earlier than he needs to wake up and leave. I really don't understand this. Insomnia...and then finally asleep for a bit.

DILD2: The dream begins as I am concentrating on my hands, trying to hold them still as possible, I get this floating feeling, expecting to transition. I then look around and understand that I am already in the dream. It is a small room, I start rubbing my hands vigorously, paying attention to the effect. The dream stabilizes for a while. I remember "the task" and search for DC audience. There are two male DCs on the bed, one on top of the other (doing nothing and with clothes on), and the other is asleep. They look very lifeless and I wonder if I should leave the room - door is just in front of me, but I get the feeling that might throw the dream out of balance and decide to wait. "Let me first get naked, then I'll see about the audience". I check my clothes - jeans (that later turn to shorts), socks, and a T-shirt. I start with the T-shirt but as it covers my eyes, it gets a bit entangled around my head, and I as get it off I lose my sight and end up in the void.

This annoys me but my anger turns into podcast inspired stubbornness and I keep trying to resume with the dream taking my shorts off and one sock while in the void. A moment later the dream picks up from exactly the same place. I expect at this point not to be wearing shorts anymore, but as I look down I have two pairs of shorts one on each leg. It's funny and reminds me of OB and her blankets. I go and sit on the bed which is now on the opposite side of the room, or is it another bed? I contemplate a bit of whether I really need to be sitting to more easily get rid of my shorts and remaining sock, but conclude it feels more comfortable that way. The dream fades and I wake.

The guest finally wakes up too, so that was it for today.

Comment: Stuff has been piling up and I just don't have enough time to properly journal, so here is a summary of the notable things during the last few days.

Sleep quality: I guess the caffeine frenzy of last week is taking it's toll and as I have been very sleepy in the last few days, to the point where I just can't do a proper WBTB

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Date: 16 June

pre bed: brain multivits

The key words never made it to a proper journal entry. This is the second time I take those multivits, they have increased vividness, and added some unpleasant dreams and aggressive DC behavior, similar to last time I took them but a bit less emotional. I also had a guest related FA with unpleasant contents, after I was woken up by guest that came for the weekend.

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Date: 17 June

pre bed: SJW

WBTB: p.oil capsules, 1/2 latte

Pre wbtb dream1: From the notes "Obe" and some other word I can't read. I checked with my feelings, and I get nothing. It is very unlikely that this was Obe/lucid, so this doesn't qualify even as suspicious.

Fragment2: I am looking through the HI lights but they are in the dream. I am able to see some events form in the lights/fog and conclude that I have developed special abilities irl.

WBTB: I was very sleepy and spent less that the desired time out of bed, so couldn't quite wake myself up. Fell asleep too fast.

Dream3: This dream was very long and vivid. I am first in some kind of bar talking to an interesting (in a non-sexual way) DC, that resembles a friend of mine, but he turns out gay and doesn't want to pay me any attention after the truth about him comes out? It is the middle of the night so I head home in some unknown city, have a difficult time finding my way back, but conclude it is because I am drunk.

I keep on roaming these unfamiliar streets, trying to find some transportation when I run into an old friend of mine. We have a very realistic conversation, and it feels like I am talking to the real person. It is quite late but he invites me to join them in another place where we can continue drinking. I look at my phone, that looks quite normal to see what time it is. Me and old friend are going to someplace but end up instead in the house of a female DC that starts seducing my friend. I try to leave the place and get my friend out of there.

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Date: 18 June

Comments: I was sleeping very heavily again, got short-ld that I count as micro ld just before final wake

Mini-ld: I find myself in a room attracted to an unpleasant male DC. This looks very suspicious and I realize this is a dream. Unfortunately my impulses are stronger than me and I still decide to go ahead after doing a RC and taking some precautionary measures.

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Date: 19 June

Comments: decided to take a break from journaling, WBTB, etc.

Dream quality and recall: vivid, recall of the last dreams was good

Dream1 micro -ld: I am on the street and lucid. Something that I hold in my hand draws my attention, it is a spherical object, the size of a tenis-ball. Didn't have much chance to look at it because this thing although a hard object is actually alive and somewhat aggressive, so I grasp with with all force, trying to move my hand and just throw it away. This is not possible because the object is very strong and has gravitational heaviness. I think I wake up after some struggle, then fall back to sleep.

Dream2: interesting story about some girl

Dream3: long vivid dream of me in some city

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Progress with goals as the 19th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (23/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (19/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (8/10)
- 10 morning RCs (6/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (1/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 7 (not counted)
suspicious events: 3 (not counted)

Date: 15 June

Total sleep time: 6hrs<

Fragment1: I am sure this was lucid. Had the impression of an interesting dream that I was witnessing, the only visual I remember is some golden object. (category suspicious)

Fragment2: My friend who is not in this world anymore is alive in the dream. I get confused, accept that this is true state of things and wonder why do I always dream that she died? I decide not to tell her about it.

WBTB: 1/2 latte, lecithin and B-complex, trouble falling asleep

micro-WILD: I finally fall asleep and a scene begins to form around me. I am in my hometown, on one of the main streets. I appear in front of a guy that looks like an old friend of mine a bit. I try to stabilize and move my hands to grab the guy, but it doesn't quite work. The dream has no sound and is very unstable, I feel it slipping away. As I am going slowly back to the void/bed, I notice that voices can be heard. They sound very similar to voices of from a mystery type of ghost movie, I find them fascinating.

Recalled the dream and had some unconscious sleep, woke up and couldn't sleep anymore.

Not included in off. count

Date: 13 June

Not very funny FA and LD chain

Total sleep time: 4 hrs

Comments: Tonight definitely was a bad time to go for a lucid. We had a sleep over guest and I was nervous I had to wake up the same time as our guest and no idea when that would be. I repeated the same combo as yesterday (but had different results?), did SSILD to help with sleep and induce ld. I got into a rather nasty FA chain. The resulting lucidity was not to be envied either.

Pre bed: Gingko

WBTB: I was woken up, had 1/2 RB about half an hour later. Trouble falling asleep.

Fragment: A DC that looks like my father shows aggressive attitude

FA1: I am in bed and guest is knocking on the door, saying he is leaving now. I hear him and partially see him, but I also see some other layer with my reflection on it. I decide that I am dreaming the second layer, while he is trying awake me irl. I tell him to leave me alone and come back later because I am just either lucid or missing a FA.

FA2: I am in bed, and there is trash, food leftovers and other stuff on the bedsheets. I find it a bit strange but swipe it aside and continue sleeping.

FA3: I wake up and go to the toilet. I look myself in the mirror. I look terrible, my face is swollen. I think "What have I done, this is probably because of the supps/RB". As if that isn't enough, I feel a very strong pressure in my head. Ahhhh

FA4 and DILD: I wake up and go to pee. Some nonexistent pipe breaks down and starts rhythmically pumping out water. I think this is too bad to be real life, and question the nature of reality. The pipe keeps pumping water, flooding the place, so I run into the room where our guest is sleeping to ask for help. He comes in the bathroom but it is not him at all, but a strange looking DC that has something not very human in his posture? I finally conclude that this can only be a dream. I go to the corridor, the strange DC next to me and an older lady. The dream gets distorted, images from other places appear in my mind, while I am thinking of an efficient way to leave our place. The dream disintegrates.

DILD2: I renter some place but the DCs there keep getting in my way so I cannot go as I would like to. the dream fades

DILD3: I am in another apartment, a geeky looking DC is trying to get my attention. I don't want to be here. I notice a large cupboard and am tempted to try passing through it. I am mostly wondering if I will be able to overcome the solidity and also see what will happen once I get in there. The cupboard is initially solid, but I push myself forward and it suddenly swallows me into the darkness with a strange gulp like sound. There is something very watery to that ex cupboard space, and I feel as if I am underwater. Very interesting, I think to myself. I swim forward ending in the void, the underwater sensations fading away. Back to my physical body, I may have even moved my real hands a bit while in the void.

DILD4: Another dream starts and I am in an apartment again. A number of daring DCs are here as well. I try to go on my way, but this DC woman gets in front of me holding a bread knife. I notice that we are in the kitchen, and try to make her engage in slicing the bread that is there, instead of behaving menacingly. I meet resistance and am unable to control her much. I am adjusting my mood as not to expect her to do anything to me, trying to be as non-reactionary as possible. She has the knife in one hand and gets a cleaver in the other. I struggle with her hand, also attempting to grab the knife from time to time, while being careful not to cut myself. I know this is dream and I don't care so much, but I am annoyed that things aren't going my way. There is someone else pushing me, causing me discomfort and mild pain. I move away a bit, feeling exhausted and desperate.

Since the dream is going nowhere, I allow the DC woman to get me, but now she has other intentions. I organize a pleasurable indecent scene and wake up shortly after.

I wake up and go to the restroom and check out my reflection in the mirror. I look terrible. I RC. Tired, nervous and annoyed I consider if I want to go back to sleep. Shortly journal, then try to fall asleep but it is too late.

This nightmare approximates to official count of 2 Lds? and 2 micro lds.

---------------------------------
Date: 14 June

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Sleep quality and recall: Deep restorative sleep, below average recall

Pre bed: Gingko

Bedtime dreamlet: There is a discussion about the advantages of living in China vs living in France. It seems that living in China is much better. I am entering China, zooming in trying to determine my location. Very hard to describe I see the land and plants as if I am on the ground yet it is in the shape of the map of China. There are blackberries that represent each city in China, and are very close together which means very crowded.

I realize that I am falling asleep and pull back from the dream, trying to commit it to memory.

WBTB: very tired after yesterday's lack of sleep, so I just couldn't do it

Dream1: I am on the street and there is a house to my left. Xanous comes from there. We talk about something. A friend of mine comes, I can't remember now if Xanous knows him.

Xanous is now gone somewhere. Me and my friend are trying to have a shared dream via DV but actually don't know that we are having a shared dream with each other. What are the odds? I tell this realization to my friend and we are happy. He invites me to his place where I have been in dreams. I check out the furniture. He leads me through the corridor, but I insist on having a look at the bedroom. There is a sliding door, double bed with white bed sheets, and a wardrobe with a mirror to the left.

Fragment2: My class meets again, this time boys only. I don't know why I am here and they behave like idiots. I look at them and have a strange feeling that something is not quite right here (as in this is a dream!) but continue being involved in the scene.

Progress with goals as the 14th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (15/100) *
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (17/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (6/10)
- 10 morning RCs (3/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

*I am also practicing some ADA, so it is not as bad as it seems, although I need to increase the RCs

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 4 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Date: 12 June

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: Gingko

Sleep quality and recall: I was tired after getting only 6 1/2 hrs the day before, yet I spent too much surfing before bed. As a result I slept quite deeply, dreams were vivid, averagely accessible. I was not in the mood to take early notes.The LD chain totally messed up my recall. I recovered the key parts, but dream reality was much more detailed.

WBTB: Had a natural wake earlier and then later than planned. Decided to use the later as WBTB, drank 1/2 RB. Was sleepy so no problems there.

Fragment1: My school

WBTB

Fragment2: A friend from the very distant past finally appears in my dreams (at least this year). She wants some help with her research.

Dream3: I am back to my hometown and meet a neighbor friend of mine. I have some thoughts about her excessive use of alcohol and cigarettes. When I see her, she confirms my expectations, immediately starts smoking and we sit in some cafe/bar outside initially and have some beer. She finishes her bottle and as I notice I have also finished mine. She goes to get another one for her and I want one too. She pays for everything. I am concerned that I have finished my bottle so fast and am about to have a second one. I continue thinking that it is likely that we will drink at least 5 bottles each this evening. I feel drunk and wonder if this is going to mess up my lucidity. I heard there is great REM rebound.

Fragment4:I am in a room, similar to my old place, my parents are there. Dad has some issues and gives me one of his disapproval looks. I remember the bed, did I fall asleep?

My subcon takes over and decides it's time to have a lucid

LD1:

I am above the sea surface, remembering one of my non-current goals to check out things from the past. I don't know why but I end up investigating what happened to the titanic. I pay some thought to what has happened. (I watched the movie a long time ago and can't recall the story). I have thoughts/fake memories that in real life they still don't know what happened and concluded it hit an iceberg. They never found the black box. I am watching a zoomed part of a non-sunken ship when thinking this. I finally remember that I never wanted to know anything about the titanic. I want to move on. I am temporarily disconnected. I simply desire to continue the dream.

My subcon takes over and I easily resume from non-physicality/void.

LD2: I am flying over a city, which is supposedly the place in the past where I want to go. Initially it looks like a toy city in the midst of the ocean, but as control my flight (which is hard), it begins to look like a real city, and I recognize it as Rome. I see the Colosseum, which looks a bit different, also lots of buildings with red rooftops. It feels as if I am flying over ancient Rome at low plane altitude. It is so exciting, I really believe that I have managed to go back in time.

I am zooming in and out ancient Rome to manipulate the city into being the real Rome and not a toy replica. I notice that I am chewing gum. I am now in a large empty and borderless room and Rome is like a mini replica taking a large part of the room. I become concerned about the gum. I have a false memory of the room with dad where I think I have fallen asleep. "Yes, I had a chewing gum", I am thinking and believe I can feel it in my physical mouth. I wrongly remember that CL also fell asleep with chewing gum. I become very worried but decide that I am going to spit/take out the gum and this will make my physical self do it too. I begin maneuvering which makes me semi-enter the void and supposedly feel my physical body. I get out three pieces of chewing gum. I don't feel any gum in my physical mouth so I am relieved. The dream destabilizes and I end up in the void.

LD3 & LD4+:

My memory is a bit messed as the exact initial place where this began as I happen to DEILD back and experience a similar fragment of the dream. The dream was fading so I came back more than once.

I am in what looks like the outskirts of some city, it the midst of mostly greenery. I am talking to this guy, then explore around by myself. There are lots of plants so really no way to give more detail. To my right is some kind of a road with barbed fence, I want to go there, but notice only cyclists use it. I walk around a bit more, dream fades.

I am more or less at the same place and I see the same guy ( who is an actor I don't know his name irl) on the initial trail. I am happy to have some partner to explore with during the dream, but he becomes evil. I do my best to change him, by being overly positive. He initially does not change but instead does something to my back, it really hurts. I am thinking about "invulnerability" from DV competition, so I may try to use it if he continues, but the pain is very strange. He calms down a bit and we move along, still surrounded by greenery.

I am by myself, and have spent quite a while exploring around. While there are mostly plants around, I finally reach the city. It looks like a small town, not too modern or at least that part in front of me. I notice a yellow? building in front of me and some sign "Leyle.."or "Harley". I try to memorize the name so that I can check it out later. I can't recall the surroundings so well anymore.

I look to my left, where across the river I see a more modern looking city, illuminated sign with the location, and the Gateway arch (* that excuse my ignorance I had to later google to confirm is located in St. Louis). I continue on my way but the dream slowly fades.

LD5: I enter a white one-story building. There is a DC woman in front of me and she is saying something with an echo effect. I become excited and start talking with a fake accent, but I can't concentrate much on what I'm saying. The dream feels a bit unstable. Still I want to go on with it and think I may go for transformation this time. But then I notice that lots of DCs are sitting behind a table, starring at me, much like a jury. It dawns on me that this is the perfect opportunity to get naked. I look down/stretch my clothes and with a relief see that this time I am wearing an easy long white polo-style dress. I am still worried that I will wake up once it gets on my eyes, so talk to the DCs first. I tell them to sing along, I want to use the sound as an anchor. I keep repeating, now incorporating a melody "Sing along" as I take my dress off. I now go to take my panties off. Panties gone. I do feel a little weird after these actions, a DC woman is looking at me surprised. I really hope that this isn't for real. I am all naked but for a bra that I try to take off as I wake up.

I am in my body and want to go for a DEILD. I lie on my back and wait but it doesn't work. Interestingly, I am also starving. It is not easy to LD.

What I have noticed today: It was much easier to continue LDing when I had a strong desire to resume with the dream. My subcon did the work, with little involvement on my part, which may account for the successful chaining.

Based on location I am approximating the 5+ LDs to an official count of 4 LDs and 1 micro ld.

---------
Progress with this months goals (as of 12 June morning):

- Do 100 RCs (10/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (11/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (5/10)
- 10 morning RCs (2/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 10 (official count)
micro-lds: 2 (for informative purposes, not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

EDIT 22.08: after more experience with lds, I realized that this was not DEILD chaining, as I didn't really wake up from the dream and feel my body in any way, just the dream ended and a new one started.

Date: 11 June

Comments: A bit behind on journaling, today's entry to be posted later, and sorry for any typos.

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Pre bed: multivits, l-arginine

Dream quality and recall: dreams were vivid, started earlier (3+ hrs after sleep), dream content was normal this time (referring to l-arginine). Recall - I was lazy

Early Fragment1: I was left with the impression that this was lucid, but very little memory of it. It had to do with seeing some objects from Xanous's OBE? The only more or less clear visual memory is of small cotton-like object/s. >>> goes to category suspicious

Fragment2: In my parents' place, some disturbing noise

Dream3: I thought it was interesting and easy to remember. We all know how this ends.

WBTB: missed the usual natural wake, woke up a bit later, and I drank the whole latte although I knew it was not such a good idea. Struggled for quite some time, but did not look at the clock as not to add up more anxiety.

Dream4: In my parents' place, aunt is also there and starts eating, this distracts me. I casually lie on the couch, three blankets and a bottle of plum sauce.

Dreamlet5: some rasta guy

I drift in and out of sleep. In bed, I want to sleep. I continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

Dream6 WILD: I'm in those strange states where I am semi-consciously controlling what I'm doing, trying to have the dream form around me and hold on to it. The first thing I notice are my hands, clasping a bottle. Slightly confused as I think for a second I am still in bed, I keep my eyes closed. Still not fully in the dream, I know that the key to my integration today has to do with me holding the bottle of I think then alcohol or plum sauce, so I apply as much pressure as I can. Then the surroundings become clearer and I know I am successfully there.

I am sitting on a bench in my neighborhood, no DCs in sight. I begin touching the surface of the white bench to stabilize. I look up and see a few ghost-like transparent but black birds in the sky. I check out my surroundings but I have an issue moving my head, and then identify that the problem is coming from my right eye, which gets some sort of tunnel vision. I don't want to move my head too much to avoid waking up, so I ignore this and decide to walk on the street.

I make a few steps and then my right side is paralyzed, so I lose balance and fall. Oh, no, not this thing again! The feeling is very hard to describe, but it's like I am feeling the physical body's atonia with my dream body, which makes me lose control over parts of the dream body. I try to ignore the issue, drag myself forward a bit and think that maybe concentrating on some tasks will fix it. I remember four tasks. I don't think I am able to get to Xanous at the moment. There are no DCs around to interact with. I think about transformation but nothing seems to happen. What did the guys say to do in such a case? Try floating up. Doesn't work. I have no dream control at all.

It is also cold, and I notice my blanket is nearby so I want to reach for it. The last thing I remember is looking above a building and seeing a large dark military helicopter above it. It is also ghost-like transparent. I am not very interested in it, I look down, struggle for a little while and then give up. I wake up. I am too caffeinated to fall asleep although I try.

Note: This was not scary in any way, but it was really annoying.

Comments:

1. Yes, drinking the whole latte was a mistake!
2. Starting an ld from scratch can be a pain in the b. I need more practice.

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- Do 100 RCs (8/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (9/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (4/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 6 (official count) as of 11th June
micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: I continue to be very sleepy, although recall today was a bit better.

WBTB, snooze and recall: Decided against WBTB (lazy), but set the final alarm for a bit earlier. I had what I thought was an interesting dream in the last 30 mins of sleep so kept on hitting the snooze button, and tried to go back there to continue with the story. That messed up my recall a bit, but I still enjoyed it.

Dream1: We are on the street and a friend of mine says something that irritates me. It hit her with a NG magazine. DCs around me stare at me with disapproval. They also think I am a man hitting a woman. A girl from India comes and I begin explaining myself to her.

She starts giving my friend some creepy advice and then continues to say that "you (not sure who she is addressing) should do some lucid meditation, as one learns by leaps and bounds"

"Red and cinnamon are after all two of many (40?) hues....of the penumbra"???

This dream was really cool, but bf was snoring so loudly, I just couldn't hold on to it for more info.

Dream2: A class meeting, girls only this time, all the usual classmates that are DS, but instead of realizing this is a dream I engage in nonsense conversations. One of the classmates is married to a guy that has to do with chicken production and I comment on some movies I have seem about that. Another female friend of mine has a a girlfriend and buys her some lemonade. I feel jealous.

Dream 3(snooze fragmented and mini-Ld):

I am flying over the street and try to avoid a dangerous individual. Other DCs start running very fast when they are close to him.

I am sitting on a table, looking at some food and want to rescue a burrito from ending up in the trash. This guy acts very agressively and does not allow me to get my burrito. I am forced to go with him. (Snooze)

He is dangerous and most likely has killed someone, and the police is after him. Despite all that, I feel some sympathy towards him and we are friends. He wants us to go to his apartment. I have some alarming thoughts of why am I going to his place, and what are we going to do there, but dismiss them. We reach the street where he lives. I suspect undercover cops have parked in front of the place. Doesn't he know that his apartment is the first place the cops will look for him? He sees the lights of his place are on, so we go back. (Snooze)

He decides to highjack a bus so that we can drive to my place. I really don't want us to go there. I am also worried that he is a reckless driver, so go to the back seat. (Snooze)

I am in the bus/car with him and am looking for my burrito, but it seems like I have changed clothes, have a different handbag and the burrito is gone. I take some time to look around, knowing that this is a dream. The story in my mind lasted pretty long and I find it really cool. I think about reporting this dream and contemplate about my feelings for this guy, I conclude I have the Stockholm syndrome...

I wake up

-------------------------------------

Progress with this months goals (as of this morning):

- Do 100 RCs (6/100) <<<<<<Terrible!
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (4/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (3/10)
- 10 morning RCs (1/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 5 (official count)
micro-lds: 1 (not counted)
suspicious events: 1 (not counted)