non-lucid

I miss the wbtb alarm but end up thinking about lucidity and how nice it would be to have one just after pressing the final snooze.

In the neighborhood where I see a family friend talking about something, then someone calls another DC and we head back home. As I get out of the car I look around, my awareness goes up and I realize this is a dream. I can relate the place I am at to a previous dream (near where I was standing when examining the plates possibly after that) and wonder about my awareness then. After giving it some thought, I become convinced I had a lucid moment at some point in the dreams before. A nearby DC tells me it was indeed a lucid dream. That makes me feel even worse that I wasted a lucid moment and didn't do anything.

"If you have a lucid dream, then do a task rather than just lose lucidity" I think angrily to myself. Ok, time to do that right now. I remember the hole task and hastily put my hand in my pocket, trying to get hold of something. I feel a small round object and concentrate on the floor ahead as I throw it forward. This time (compared to couple of days ago) it produces a nicely sized somewhat transparent dark hole. I stare at it for a bit longer and then cautiously jump in. I end up on the ground laying on my side in shallow waters at approximately the same dream scene. The water has some strange properties - it's in partial existence and feels different. I get up and look around. The snooze wakes me up.

Backlog: 18 Feb

Yet another time where I couldn't make myself do a wbtb. Went to bathroom and took some lecithin in the least.

Slight alertness and not immediately falling asleep, but not quite a wbtb.

Fragmented recall:

At some very low level of lucidity, I see these DCs walking backwards, in a way I am playing the forward and backward in time by thinking about it, it's kind of subconscious (but I can relate my attention to that). Then, I decide I want to control back my own movements and go in the middle of the street to jump back and in time. My back jump doesn't quite follow the right trajectory so I jump forward and try to reverse the movement. Some cars are coming but I know it's ok.

Other stuff happens and get distracted and lose my lucidity. I then have major issues with gravity, in the meantime my awareness goes up. It's super strange it's like I am weightless, floating up and can't stop the movement, so have to hold on to a street pole. For a while, I am like a balloon going up no mass whatsoever. I get lost in thoughts about posting about gravity in lucid dreams and that I am having this weightless problem. Thinking seems to distract me from the issue and I acquire normal weight and am back at street level.

It's a nice day in some foreign looking town. I remember the candy store task, but at the same time feel that am running out of time. There is a street store with an indoor as well as outdoor section just ahead so I hurry towards it. The outside section has all sorts of nice sweet stuff like sweet rolls, mini panettone, etc. The indoors section sells more candy-like things. There's a DC working there and I tell her to quickly give me the strangest candy and she hands me a pack full of roasted coffee beans with sugar. Not exactly what I was hoping for, I make a mental note and wonder about the taste. Just about to consume them when I wake up.

A time travelling dream scenario with semi random elements. I see my friends as their younger selves and pay attention to one of them. His present self now appears in front of me and I tell him what I saw.

Fragments. Awareness gradually goes up as I discuss another time related change of personal in this cafe ahead. What's notable is I see myself in the mirror as a completely different person.

Can't remember more details but as my awareness gradually increases I detach myself from the situation and just continue walking around with no goal in mind. I end up in some sort of underground/tunnels that look a bit game like (think dwarf city, castles). The tunnels are averagely lit. My eyes tell me I've taken the wrong fork but I become more confident continuing ahead. I feel I am losing lucidity so just for the fun of it, decide to self assert and shout out loud that my body is asleep at this moment. I continue down the tunnel.

Slight apprehension as I feel something coming - just round the corner is a DC with two weird looking creatures much like wyverns. I pass right between them, they pay no attention to me. At some point in the tunnels I remember the candy store task again. Right ahead is a closed retro door and I think: "Why not, a candy store could be just behind it, think about this purposely and go ahead". I am happily surprised to find that the room indeed turns out to be a magically looking candy store. It has lots of colorful items, gemstones and candy, looks very fairy talish. No DC is working here, so I just grab the nearest weird looking small glass bottle full of gem-like looking candy.

Cute little aquamarine opaque pieces of this gem candy mixed with some sesame/flax seeds. I quickly pour them down my mouth making sure to empty the whole little bottle (meanwhile wondering did we have to consume the whole thing, remembering the bottle of wine task). I feel relieved at this point that I am able to properly chew them, taste them and not wake up. They taste really nice, like a caramelised sesame bar. I enjoy the moment a bit longer before the alarm wakes me up.

Think there was other cool stuff but can't recall.

Had a long non-ld moment where I put together something like a form/report. Making a note of this because at the time of wake I could remember most of it. It was like 1.5 pages long, a coherent text that my dreaming self spent carefully writing down with a pen word by word and not a single thing was illegible or illogical.

Date: 11 Nov

A great deal of strong vivid dreams (alas no notes for all taken or reviewed)

Nld frag: Some sort of cool TK practice and one of the DCs asks me how I have achieved such proficiency. My reply - I have practiced this a lot in dreams.

Mini wbtb: dreams were cool, so I had the desire to just sleep but forced myself to repeat a few mantras and reviewed the tasks.

LD: At our old home with mom in the corridor. There are little bugs that mutate into flies and we try to hunt them. After a while I leave the place and am in an unknown location with Chinese mint candy that is the cause of all the bugs. Once I open it, a little bug comes out and runs away to mutate.

There's a Chinese guy sitting next to another DC and I go to him to explain what happened before that.

Memory gap and scene transformation. I'm in what's supposed to be a dream version of a slightly familiar neighborhood. I greet a number of praying people, while flying around the corner. I continue on my way in this now nicely looking neighborhood, my awareness is gradually increasing to lucidity as I continue gently flying forward and up and down. I recall a recent conversation about flying and think about that for a moment.

Then I remember the totm about finding a pile of leaves and jumping in it and look around. There is a beatiful blossoming purple magnolia tree and lots of petals on the ground. Could that do? No, wait! It's supposed to be fall right now, but oh the tree looks great and a version with petal jumping would have been awesome too. I decide to scan the area for any proper for the season vegetation and see some leaves on the ground and a few piles of them. As I approach one of the piles, it diminishes in size, so I turn to another pile that is neatly gathered in a wooden crate.

At this point, I begin to feel the dream thinning so rush forward and jump into the crate. I fall inside with the leaves and the dream nastily generates a number of metal pieces where I hurt myself. I find myself in a fallen semi seated position thinking about all this. This has been one of the very realistic experiences where you actually jump, fall and hurt yourself. It feels very physical, with great proximity to real life sensations and aching feedback from all body parts and your position. The pain is more towards dull, but equally realistic. In this moment, I hope that the amount of sensory information would help stabilize the dream as is often the case, but the dream comes to its natural end.

I'm happy about totm, but feel sleepy and do a rather quick mental review.

Date: 30 Oct

I woke up before my scheduled wbtb and had heavy insomnia. Used it as an unavoidable wbtb and concentrated on ld thoughts in the midst of all other unnecessary for this time of the night thoughts. I was super tired and my recall is rather bad.

As I am in bed, waiting for sleep, I get a few strong flash dream scenes that look promisingly engaging but those interrupt. I am very tired at this point to follow any transitions and just want to sleep.

A brief fragment where I emerge on a balcony fully entering the scene. There is an inviting flat roof nearby and I want to cross over, but it's far away. I lean forward and move in its direction and the distance shortens which enables me to do it. Memory about this happening a lot in nlds (yes). I also notice that I automatically continue walking on all fours, something which I recall also happens during nlds.

Memory gap.

A nld in some place that feels like ours. An uninvited guest makes an appearance and I wonder about that. Could it be a dream? It'd better be. I abandon the whole situation and spend some mostly unmemorable time walking around the place, just going from room to room, opening doors, etc. This helps me acquire a bit of clarity of mind and to hold the dream at the same time.

Bf is also here and after a while of room wandering, I stop and face his DC. I have a brief moment of conscious thought about doing anything with him. We start kissing but then I recall I really wanted to do the pumpkin task. The bathroom is right ahead and I go there picturing a pumpkin, which I see just below a chair or a crate of some sort. Initially it is a normal pumpkin, but then it turns into one made of paper. I rip open the top and peek to see what's inside - a number of halloween chocolate treats in different colors. I feel satisfied with the task, make a mental note and walk back to the other room. (Without trying any). Then I come back to make sure I got the details right, the treats are still there.

I think the dream must have ended soon after that, it seems I went into much deeper sleep that messed up my recall.

No supps

DILD: The (forgotten) storyline continues and I plan to be back to this? place and hire a floating bed to do so. It's a beach environment though it later flows into a more canyon like place. I look at the guy to let him know I'm taking one of his beds also expecting to pay but he ignores me, decide for a really small one and then start to maneuver in the water. The place changes a bit, but I kind of assume to have just passed the desired location while I keep trying to navigate on the mini wooden bed as large waves hit me and take me deeper into the sea. I manage to move more towards the coast where it changes to a canyon like place. The colors are really bright and pleasant during the entire time and now it's like a canyon during an autumn afternoon.

My awareness goes up and I recall the bonus task: create a new song on an instrument that doesn't exist in waking life. I have some doubts about how exactly am about to proceed as I haven't really considered this during the day. At this moment two butterflies appear in front of me and I briefly fix them one next to each other thinking this will make for a perfect instrument. Now the only thing that's left is for me to start playing. After moving the glued double butterfly instrument around a bit (I think at this point it started making the drumming sound), I take the two butterflies apart and holding one in each hand, I start producing the song by methodically tapping with them the corners of an invisible frame. This results in perfect drumming sounds. I repeat this movement until the beat and melody is solidified in my mind and then allow for further beat variation. Happy to have completed the task I briefly think about the experience.

This seemed like the end of a long REM with nlds before that and at this point the dream dissolves, but I manage to switch to a different scene or deild?

It looks like I'm in a nicely furnished house located somewhere in the woods . I find myself in the kitchen and at that moment feel how the dream is slipping away. Can't quite come up with what to do here to be more active and engaged but I have the feeling and strong urge to throw a small nearby bottle against the wall. The (tabasco like) bottle breaks in pieces as it hits the wall and this weirdly enough provides me with a sense of stability. I turn around and see a larger jar of what looks like passata and casually drop it to the floor to watch how the glass breaks and the passata starts leaking out. I'm amazed with the accuracy of physics as this happens.

Nearby are a number of beautiful wooden drawers and I have a quick look to find some jewelry inside. It's pretty awesome but for some reason doesn't capture more interest from my side, so I close the drawer, looking around for something else. I go towards a darker corridor which coincides with another feel of the dream thinning. I decide not to go as far but stop midway in front of a beautiful wooden wardrobe.

This reminds me of another exploratory task and I decide to check what's inside. There are lots of clothes that give me the initial impression they belong to my mom. I browse through the clothes hoping to find something cool, but the one-many effects gets on them. Basically, most clothes start having the same blue purple colors and I am displeased at this lack of variety. I decide to give it another try by allowing the clothes to change when I close the wardrobe. I wait for a bit, trying not to think of the previous look of the clothes (which I do, but wait a bit more) and then open the wardrobe again. The result is a different set of clothes. There is a really cute pink shirt that seems my size. Though my intention was to simply browse through the clothes and see what my mind comes up with, I now have the desire to try this shirt and see how I look.

In the meantime, my thoughts about the clothes belonging to mom seem to have summoned her and now her DC is here making comments about the clothes. I can't quite recall our exact words, but I decide to play along telling her some confirmation about what she was asking about and find this utterly funny as I know it's just a dream and my comment is completely false. I continue with my dressing but first I have to undress. There is a mirror just to the side of the wardrobe where I see that I am wearing pink trousers that would nicely fit the highly desired dream shirt. And funnily, I don't realize as I am undressing myself that I am actually already wearing a pink shirt! The shirt gets stuck on my wrist where it's a bit tight and the dream soon ends.

Still haven't fully typed my entry from the 10th, and I'm kind of tired, so I'll write a quick summary instead.

Basic ii: Two DCs were after me on a lucid chase. After getting rid of them and going in a pretty creepy house, a spontaneous scene change/teleport happened returning me to the house entrance. They caught up with me and I decided to face them, at the same time remembering the bloodsucking task, so I bit one of them on the cheeck and sucked in some blood. He was an unpleasant DC and didn't make for the fulfilling true blood experience I was hoping for.

Date: 25 Aug

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Cannot quite recall the exact beginning but remember willing the scene to appear as I was falling alseep. There were a number of coming into shape items and I told myself that my subcon is at this point trying to make something out of them so concentrate. There were a number of scenes.

I don't recall what happened when I finally entered the dream but there was some active dream scenario going on.

After looking around expectedly and not seeing a pyramid to enter, I notice people getting on a bus and wonder whether to give it a try. It doesn't strike me as possible to manipulate the dream as much as to be inside the bus while actually going somewhere and really get there but I give it a try. It's getting rather full, but I find a free seat and sit there. To be certain this tour bus is going in the right direction, I shout and make them all repeat "We are going to the Pyramid of Giza". Here I have thoughts about whether my throat is moving (DV thread) as I feel physical pressure while shouting.

Don't recall getting off the bus and in the next scene I'm already inside this place with an atmosphere of an excavation dig. It looks as if I've made it past the pyramid's entrance and am now in how I in the dream more or less imagine its interior. It has the feel and look of a number of previous dreams about sightseeing in Egypt. Excited, I decide to explore the ancient Egyptian structure. There are two directions to go and after some maneuvering I orient myself towards what feels like the center.

It is now quite lively, full of crowds of people getting in and coming out. While this should be the interior of the pyramid and be very spacey in my dreaming mind, it still feels to me as if I'm taking forever to walk towards the official "lobby". It's like a tourist attraction where you first have to go to the lobby/cashier and then enter a separate part with the things to see. On my way to the center, I pass by a girl with a pink feather on her head and my hand by mistake gets into her hair. As a result the feather falls from her head and then I take it. How weird, I think to myself, what my hand did. The feather is beautiful and as realistic as it gets, I'm very fascinated by the looks of it and the feel of the dream in general.

As I continue on my way, the little girl catches up with me and starts whining about her feather. I tell her that I didn't mean to take it on purpose rather it just happened as an accident and give it back. She calms down continues towards the exit, while I continue my walk toward the center in this carpet covered corridor. I finally reach the center and what lies beyond. There is a large number of exhibition items on each side of the walls. At this point they are all Egyptian, way too many to be able to recall, but I remember a statue of Anubis in dark stone with decorations in green and gold, maybe a round necklace with green stone. I start thinking about how this place now almost completely resembles a museum and continue my walk, looking at the fancy items.

The dream ends at some point. I stay still but it does take a bit longer.

DEILD: As I fall asleep, I unconsciously grab onto the scene and make it so that the same place comes back. The ancient stuff is still around. There were also large columns at some point but I vaguely recall these. Just found it a bit weird to be back, as I wasn't too focused consciously on that. I continue my tour in this pyramid museum, going from room to room and looking at lots of exhibition items. This time they are more from classic and medieval ages and I see a room full of different sizes and styles of angel statues. They all look really cute and I wonder why do they have so many angel statues here.

I continue down the corridors looking at items but soon hear angry shouts as if some sort of riot is taking place. I think about inception. They surely won't catch up with me, but despite my weak efforts to ignore them, the trouble makers are coming closer. Now I have a typical dream problem, I really want to leave this place but am trapped in an endless labyrinth of corridors and doors. There is a really weird looking one having a blurred net in front but I as I approach the net kind of disappears. I remind myself to think about outside, windows and things like that. I go through the door and finally in a room with a glass door leading to the outside. It looks locked but I open it just like that.

A DC comes and starts talking about something, kind of trying to hijack the dream with their own scenario while I find myself staring at a pot full of poached eggs. For a moment I become distracted but then come to my senses again. There is a cool looking tower nearby and I head in its direction.

Worried that it's time to wake up, I end up having an FA where I press the snooze button and wild in dream. A brief ld moment in a grandma's place before I wake up for real.

Date: 22 Aug

Behind with journalling as usual. These are for CL's dare about the Great Pyramid.

Pre bed: 200 val, l arg & lysine

Back to the old place dream. It seems even though I left the place, I have the dream memory that I come back and stay here every time for a while [yes, every couple of dreams!]. I feel guilty about not informing the landlord and think about packing my stuff.

At some point when lying in that room's bed, I get in touch with both realities (i.e. start to feel my physical body) maybe just waking up as everything looks very blurry now. Semi consciously, I exert efforts to bring back the dream. The room forms again, everything is perfect even the table although it is not quite an exact match.

I open the window, it's very dark and I look in direction of the neighbors to see a young woman holding or throwing some object. I look at the mostly cloudless sky and then remember an on-going goal [enjoy the night sky], expecting to see cool constellations but the stars look rather normal even too dim. I feel the urge to fly up and so go ahead and lift off.

This flying style is more like that of a bird (hands spread like wings), at any rate it feels like a bird sliding on currents of air. An unpleasant feel as I quickly fly down - it's a physical sensation rather than a mental one. I wonder about it and try to control it, fly gliding down a bit. At some point I land on the top of a nearby building. There is a DC below trying to interact with me. I remember the pyramid task but there is snow all around it doesn't quite feel right. Nevertheless, I try to summon a pyramid by spontaneously getting my hands to form a triangle and I impose it on the background, staring inside to see the pyramid. This results in a good but distant version of the pyramid where I feel like it will take too much time to reach so try again.

The outcome is a smaller pyramid, made of much lighter white greyish stone and something that looks like an entrance. As I come closer I disappointedly ascertain that this pyramid is way too small and the entrance is more like a diagonally shaped part of the design. I wonder whether this would count but dismiss the idea.

Somehow, possibly after turning around and looking for a place to do another summon, I end up inside a store. I continue with my summons here (facing the windows) and make a triangle with my hands, looking inside with squinting eyes causing blurred vision which helps manipulate the color and material of the pyramid. Alas, all resulting pyramids are a shifty mirrage and their place is taken by something like a large mosque from a nicely matching material. I leave the store to explore and see if anything can be made with the structure but the alarm wakes me up.


Date: 24 Aug

I'm in some sort cafe with couple of Asians and Emm. We are about to drink tea but I have to leave without paying as everybody evacuates due to disease alarm. On my way out I contemplate that in this dream Emm didn't quite play a positive role.

After getting out, I end up in this yard and look ahead. At this point am already lucid after the contemplations about classmate Emm. The grass and eveything else has a red tint and it looks very interesting. I remember that this was a task [add photoshop effect] but think that since it's already done it may not count. Once again I have an urge to take off and just fly ahead. I do so and end up flying between trees and bushes and towards a darker area of the woods. It doesn't look very inviting and also there is the reduction of visual stimuli that adds to the feel. Before I can do anything else the dream falls apart.

PS: Stay tuned for the next part!

Pre bed: 3 mel, 500 arg, 500 lysine

Wbtb: 1/3 latte (other)

The dreams were somewhat unstable although the cycle lasted about 1:30, with deeper than usual sleep in the beginning, around 5 mins of non-ld and chain of lds in the rest. My recall is very fragmented.

Frag ld: In the classroom. I'm about to take some stuff but get very confused with the desks. Awareness increases. Tked a knife and tried to tk control the movement of a fly (partial success).

LD frags (I think one of these was a DEILD): In an underground passage and my awarness is higher, I go up the stairs and possibly get out in the next place I recall.

Inside a house, everything is quite vivid as I go to the balcony outside and see an unbelievable sight. At this point I am thinking about the Pyramid challege and this influences what I'm seeing ahead. It's a valley and a city in the distance but unlike any city that exists. More like a mix of classic and fairy tale architecture. In the middle of the place is a magnificent hexagonal/octagonal dome shaped monument made of dark rock with the eye of Ra on the sides. I'm quite excited by the sight of it but before I can get closer, I lose my vision. Really pissed off that this is happening, but the dream is still here and I can actually hear a number of nearby teenagers talking loudly so I call them for help.

My sight returns in small portions, but I think I lose the dream after that. My recall is bad between different scenes.

It's almost as if I have memorized the structure of the previous house as the next scene begins in a similar place. I recall looking at a number of windows and want to leave the place to go outside. At some point before that I was in the bathroom and left the tap running. Made a mental note about this feeling happy about not caring. There is also snow outside and I am sparsely dressed but say it doesn't matter.

I end up in a room with my parents (maybe after climbing down and then up a balcony), where I see my dad and a doppelgänger of him. It's a bit creepy and I want to go outside so leave the room.

[New scene] Vaguely recall examining and opening a window and imagining outside to be something awesome like the dome before that. Another fantastic sight, this time I watch the entire landscape build in front of my eyes. It's the sea in the distance as well as another amazing fairy tale medieval type of city. The only problem is that the whole background is quite shifty. I want to wait for dream stability to improve before working on a pyramid summon. Something about acting around to give the background city time to stabilize.

Memory gap but this was still related to the previous part of the scene. It's as if I have gone down and am now looking at whatever has become of the surroundings. There are lots of peculiar rocks surrounding me, like rocky mountains with very soft pastel colors. I make a mental note. Then all of a sudden a huge bolder displaces and starts rolling in my direction with great speed. Luckiliy for me, my subcon seems to have assumed a slightly different trajectory and the rock quickly passes at a small distance just above me. I briefly wonder about what would have happened had it hit me and why did it fall in the first place, did my thoughts cause it. [End of memory]

[New scene] The last place I recall, it's more of Asian type of scenery with a grassy hill ahead as I watch two rabbits and something else going down the slope. There is something going in front of the house at the bottom of the hill where we are. The rabbits turn to two crazy looking monkeys with clothes and a tribal man that are coming towards us. I use a part of a plant to block their way. My awareness goes from low to slightly higher and I become interested in seeing what happens once they come close. I approach the two dressed monkeys and turn to talk with the tribal man who keeps switching appearances. The dream soon thins out and I wake up.

Date: 08 Aug

Pre bed: 1/2 cup soy milk, 350 mg arginine (combo)

Wbtb: 1/2 latte, felt discomfort due heat which made it harder to concentrate. I tried doing 1-2 ssild cycles to relax, but mostly gave up due discomfort.

WILD: First was a transitional stage of me in bed and my body rotating, as I was trying to figure out which hands I'm moving. Kind of blurry memory here.

This later switches to another scene in parents' old bedroom where I appear feeling rather floaty and unstablish. In front of me are wooden shelves, so I run my hands on the surfaces multiple times to anchor myself. At the same time a glass case catches my attention, where I can see my reflection - averagely normal with something weird lurking behind. As I turn around to see what it is I am faced by my own doppelgänger and she is somewhat aggressive. She throws herself on the ground initially in some sort of a unexplainable act. Then approaches menacingly but I put her on hold - at an arm's distance with my mind.

As I manage my own reactions she calms down and now I decide to look at her more closely and make some manipulations. What if I were taller and she is now much taller. I examine her with curiousity but still have a bit of an after feel of aggression so decide to make sure she is harmless. I give the overly tall DC a hug around the waist and watch as she changes features to a different DC.

Then, I see the door behind her and feel like doing some tking. I look at it in order to will it open but the dream slips away. Back to my body and still for a DEILD

DEILD: I appear on the balcony, the one that looks over to neighbors. Quite excited about being here as this brings memories of past non-lds. There is a guy that pushes me ahead (as to move further, him being quite active) as I examine the neighbors' balcony. The dream is rather unstable at this point but I'm glad to have a companion and cross over to the other balcony where there is some sort of mattress, thinking both of us can sit here for a bit and plan the dream.

Forgot the exact words now, but told him something like "let's talk about adventures" or so and was waiting for him to sit. He disappears in the kitchen (neighbors) but then is back again, wearing the same red t-shirt as I make a mental note (resembles somewhat Michael Cassidy).

My voice is barely coming out as I say the adventure sentence and I wonder if it would count if I ask him about the basic task telepathically. But how is he going to answer? Too complicated and I decide to go with normal speech, struggle to speak but finally ask him.

His reply is "Woof" which sounds as if he is barking.

Me: "Woof?", are you sure?

He: Uhum. (as in yes)

Me: Ok, then. So what does that mean?

He: Hoof.

I ask for confirmation and he gives me another uhum. Oh well. The dream soon falls apart. I'm not feeling quite in shape to deild so let it go at this point and after a brief ld review go to sleep.

Non-memorable dreams, something vivid that forgot and then.

LD: I am near this familiar building. Something clicks and I recognize this as place of older dreams. There was a false memory or thought about the place too. I get inside and decide to experiment with door summons to see where they lead. I open a door - there are two DCs coming out of something that looks like a sparsely furnished bathroom. I don't quite like it, so close the door and wait a bit till it changes to try again.

In the meantime, more DCs appear around me and one of them makes aggressive moves towards me. After an initial super strength outburst, which comes out like some sort of a force push, I decide to chill out and try to calm them down while taking a moment to examine my inner state. I'm still slightly apprehensive of them, so try to control my own reactions and feel more at ease. From the tense situation I work on my indifference, relaxing more and at some point I start walking around freely and making funny zen moves (but not the Xanous move alas!). Don't remember when but at some point the dream ends.


Lucid FA: I wake up at home, the room looking very realistic and bf is walking around. I decide to play a bit stupid and ask him if I'm dreaming couple of times as if I've lost my mind and can't tell that this is reality. He reacts almost normally but I am still unconvinced. There's something in his reaction that is a bit off. "Hey, am I dreaming?", I continue shouting as he vanishes behind the corner. A female DC with a dark red cardigan comes in and then there is no more doubt. I feel a bit euphoric about being able to catch this fa as it felt like quite the thing I would have missed.

Contrary to other times when I have entered the other room, it now turns to a different place altogether. At first I don't catch the clues, but after more examination of the classical wooden furniture, it clicks how this place can indeed be the interior of Howl's castle.

Without any intention from my side, I notice that there is a fireplace to the side and the fire is as real as it gets. It dawns on me after seeing it that it is calficer. I approach the dream fire with astonishment for it is one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen. It's not just a regular fire - there is so much light in it, it shines like a little star, while at the same time being surrounded by flames. I feel almost mesmerized by the sight of it and am so happy to have it in the dream.

Spontaneously, I place my hands around the fire and try to absorb some of its heat and energy. As my hands get closer to the little fire, there is slight tension as in heat related sensation but insignificant to dwell on. In the meantime, the fire gets smaller and smaller as if this process is really draining it. I don't want to do away with it altogether so stop whatever it is I'm doing. The thought crosses my mind that I have spent way too long playing around and risk not completing the task because of that.

I face the room and see that the girl is here again. Now she has a pony tail, blue top and and slightly disturbing facial hair. As I approach her, her face clears a bit and I ask her couple of times if she is Sophie, to which she replies yes.
Perfect, now all I need is a door.

There's a small door on the wall that I open, but it turns more into a small window, plus I need to turn the color dial wheel first. I face the other wall where there is a white door and look to see if there is a dial next to it - there isn't. I recall couple of techniques I thought of using in such case, but instinctively pick another one. Bf's DC is just nearby so I ask him to hand me a dial wheel to put next to the door.

He gives me a round knob-like white object that I place next to the door, cover with my hands and start spinning, until the second layer of it starts to reveal multiple colors. Initially it stops on blue, then it moves to orange. I feel like I want to pick a particular color but am not quite sure which one. I rotate it to yellow, remarking to myself this is taking way too much time. Curious whether the outside will be the same as what can be seen through the nearby window (garden), I think it's high time to stop messing with the wheel dial and open the door.

But it's too late - the dream abruptly ends and I find myself in bed, moving my hand and feels like I've lost the opportunity to go back and complete the task.

Date: 8 July

Wbtb time but I feel so tired, decide to have 1/3 latte nevertheless and do the wrong wbtb - straight into bed. A few mantras but I know this will lead to no lds as I feel super sleepy. I quickly fall asleep and guiltily wake up couple of times to confirm this is the case but am too lazy to wake up more. I decide to experiment with the third eye as a focus point to see if this increases my wakefulness and focus for an ld. Not really increase in wakefulness but it did serve as a sort of anchor.

LD: The dream starts as I find myself staring at some furniture, while still in sleepying position. One of those moments where you are not sure you are quite in and I concentrate more on the forehead point to get a better grip of the dream, then a bit later start moving my hands, etc. In the beginning I'm gently floating and spinning, it's not unpleasant. I want to make sure that have fully transitioned to this dream.

I think shortly of the location and wonder whether to do a direct teleport but decide against it. I get up, it's grandma's kitchen and for some reason I decide to take the stairs to go outside. I open the door with tk and also close it and lock it with my mind. It's almost as I could feel grandma's presence doing that. I get down the stairs and tk open the locked building door to get out. As I'm on the street I have a moment of excitement and tk lift a car in the air. Also do very short skateboarding down the street slightly above the ground.

My mind is very blurry as I try to remember any tasks for the totm. I recall the DV goal and look around to see if Sensei might be nearby. There's an older teenage boy on a bike with a slightly longer hair that could do. But let me try to get Sensei here. It's a whole street full of DCs so one of them has to be him. I concentrate and think about Sensei, turn to the side in the opposite direction and to my surprise there he is - tall with browish hair, etc. He smiles happily.

We go up the street which turns into a gray building and I decide we will be learning superpowers. I feel that instead of me doing all the controling as in tk, I should try to give the DC more free will and let it demonstrate super powers, while I'm just saying what we are about to do. There is a a pencil like object and I throw it in the air, trying not to hold it with my mind and say that BB should try to lift the object. Before he can react, it falls on the floor.

"Ok, maybe you can demonstrate fire magic instead", I hint. Sensei takes the initiative and produces a large peach colored napkin, unfolds it, throws it in the air and tries to blow in its direction. I now understand what trick he had in mind, he was going to ignite the whole paper with his breath. Unfortunately, that doesn't happen and the object just remains in the air for a while. I feel a bit guilty because maybe I have sabotaged the demonstration by being slow to understand the procedure and didn't put my expectation into it. I'm saying something mid-sentence when the dream abruptly comes to an end.

Non-ld: I have an earlier non-ld where BB is on some other platform online and has organized a dream game where we have to gather pieces of a puzzle.

Date: 03 July

Pre bed: 300 mg valerian

Wbtb: 1/2 latte (other, around 40 mg caffeine)

In this ld series, counted at least 3 DEILDs, memory not at best, many locations

I get lots of HI, some are very clear and I am able to hold a few for a while but not enter them, also some fake hand movements etc.

Mini dream: On a balcony, they are constructing a bridge over it, I have some awareness that this is a dream but soon wake up.

Mini-ld: We are in the middle of having a dinner and I find myself chewing on tasty lettuce. Bf tells me about people having these phantom limb sensations, I reply that this is because they were dreaming, it's the dream body moving. I move my dream hands to check if they fit comparing them to previous HI attempts. All in.

I'm sitting next to bf and see this glow around his head. Could this be real bf? No, I don't think it's him. I say something to him I can't recall and watch for the reaction. The scene devolves into a mildly creepy one where my voice turns into a dry ghostly whispering independent of my command. I also feel some part of my real body (like back or hands supposedly) as I'm about to consciously exist any moment. There are other disturbing noises and I'm so not in the mood to deal with this and wake up.

I take a mini toilet break then back to bed.

LD pack: My recall is bad on this one, I think I deilded at the end. Once again I find myself with bf in a dark room and this time it develops into a full blown Xanous like scenario, bf is quick to disappear and this eerie invisible entity comes instead.

This whole thing is probably just my imagination but I feel I can't control the entity. What it does is lift me upside down at the level of the ceiling and keeps me spinning and spinning in the air. Continuous spacial rotation is not pleasant and you get dizzy just like irl (without expecting it). I'm hoping that this would stop but it doesn't so I decide to attack the thing. I do my best trying to take it apart, it looks like some movie type of dark creature. Since nothing helps, I let go and leave it spin me around to see what happens.

Memory gap so not sure what happened next.

I appear in a dark modern apartment. Do I know this place, have I been here before? The arrangement is somewhat similar to a few old non-lds but not exactly. I'm a bit suspicious that the dark entity drove me here and the confrontation will continue. Just remain calm and continue exploring around, and there is indeed nothing out of the ordinary. I remember the basic task of the month. In what looks like the kitchen are two DCs male and female involved in some sort of activity/experiment and photographing barbie legs or whatever.

I tell them to help me undress and they do. I think they managed to get all clothes but there was a reappearing underwear top thing that I had to take off. Memory gap.

Most likely this is where I went for another deild.

Fragment. I can't recall in which room I appeared but now am at our old place, pass through my room, talk to mom, tell her to open the door to the balcony. She tells me the door is open, I think just like in the dreams of (Sensei?) the doors are always open. I go on the balcony.

The scene is extremely beautiful and vivid though a bit unstable. It's a magical late afternoon and and there are hues of orange in the sky and some buildings etc. I make a mental note about that and cautiously proceed to examine it in a bit more detail before rushing off for totm. I take the time to examine the colorful flowers on the balcony and the surroundings, can feel the wind gently blowing. Ok, enough as I start worrying that I don't have that much time in the dream after all.

The idea is to get down and continue with the naked task with some random DC audience on the street. Time to make that jump again. I feel a bit bolder this time, go to the side where I often decent in my non-lds and take a look at the street, yard etc. The amount of detail is simply amazing - it's as if every piece of the memory falls into place. How am I able to reproduce all that, I have absolutely no idea. The thing that strikes me the most is the grass. There are a few longer types of grass next to the fence with long grass florets that casually and continuously sway with the wind. The scene is perfect.

I am preparing to jump down or get down using any means. I think at this point I might have lost the dream though. There were some DCs on the street I wanted to interact with. Memory gap.

The next scene I recall is a place similar to my school and I head for the window again. Think there was more between those scenes. Feeling bold again at this point, I don't care if I will be able to open the window or get through - the frames change so it is hard to get out but I am determined to get out. In the end it changes so I am able to open it and look down. It's high again. This is so tiresome. I worry that if I jump and fall too drastically this may destabilize the dream and make it go away altogether. What to do?

I decide to slide down the building or do the usual non-ld climbing down so scan the building for any frames, rails and similar items to hold on to. There aren't many of these on this building though, but I give it a try nevertheless. I start to slide down and immediately use the sticky fingers technique where my hands adhere to the surface. To my surpise it works really well and immediately slows down the sliding to almost a halt. This is great, so I will use this now to slowly slide down, but before I move too much, the building gets much shorter and it's as if I just teleported to the ground. Unfortunately, at this point the dream thins out and I'm back in bed

I hold still for a deild again while a bit worried about recall and whether I will be able to go back to the same scene.

DEILD:Back in the same scene! Ok, I decide to help stability a bit, there is a jar full of colorful sand and stones on a table near the building so I take it and pour some of the stones on my feet. They are gentle enough not to hurt but provide nice tactile sensations to hold on to. I also recall that other ld where I drank a glass of cold water and felt so much better. There is a glass and a bottle/bottles of cold water and I pour some on my head and (did I drink any?) and body and on my head again. The water is cold and absolutely refreshing. I think I will recommend this technique on DV.

I continue down the street and spot three possible locations to go to. It's nice and sunny with a feel for some exotic dream city. I stare at the three spots trying to feel which one is most inviting. In one of the places is an Asian guy dressed with cool clothes and a motor helmet. Looks like they are having fun there and I head in that direction but the guy is no longer there. Nearby is a huge head statue made of sandstone, it looks ancient and a booth where this lady is handing out free tickets for some event. I briefly wonder about this place. Then recall the basic totm, queue for a short while, grab the entry tickets undress fully and follow the crowd to whatever place they are going. People stare at me as I explain this is for the totm.

The place turns into some sort of a train/disco. I go further down the carriages of this crowded place. My best friend from school is now tagging along and I become really happy because she is the best companion to have in dreams. I feel a bit conscientious about my previous behavior and once again repeat that this was for the totm. "We just did the totm", I say. Let me see if this is correct. I try to remember what the tasks were, reaching for my memory while being cautious not to concentrate too much like that one time. Yes, that was one of the tasks. I also recall I wanted to look for Sensei. My idea was to teleport to him, but don't want to push my luck too far with that.

There are lots of DCs walking around and I scan them trying to see if Sensei might be among them. Nope. Ok, any of you guys good with teleportation? No reply. Ok, I guess I'll summon him then. *Thinking* There is a tall DC just round the corner. There!

A tall guy walks from round the corner and I begin to question him "Are you BrandonBoss?" He: "Huh? Brandonboss - you?" Points at me. Then points at himself. Me? No. He's got blue eyes and dark blonde hair. I decide to probe him again. He denies being BB and says something else I can't recall. Oh well. I leave him and continue down the carriages which is now more like I'm exiting a disco or bar.

There's a stand where they sell cigars and some of them are actually candy. I spot a really nice package of dream lollipops (under transformation) and feeling mischievous grab them. Yes, it's a dream so I can take this. Oh, wait, the other totm! I wonder if this counts, the lollipops turn into other appealing types of candy and chocolate before I start stuffing them in my mouth. They taste really good like a really pleasant chocolate and other fantastic sweets. I can't believe it but this time I chew all of them.

I'm wondering what else to do here when the dream comes to an end.

Date: 28 June

Both of us had indigestion that led to early wake and insomnia. After a long time of discomfort, I finally fall asleep for a bit.

Funny HI: there was this really strange crazy camel monkey face that was shaved like Hulk Hogan.

LD: Don't quite remember the beginning of the dream, but in the earliest part I find myself on the floor in the same position I was sleeping, topless and staring into a mirror. My torso is that of a ripped man though and I marvel the amount of muscle on the abs.

As I focus on the abs, they slowly turn into the image of a fortress as my mind zooms in and transforms the scene. Here I have awareness that this is a dream, but no spike in awareness or aha moment. The castle turns into the doors of a fortress and I mentally open them. It looks much like playing a game now and I feel excited, move forward as if playing an rpg game and not moving bodily initially. The doors reveal a tunnel that splits in two sections. I am bodily present now and decide to take the right fork and enter a room. There is an ancient chest inside. This is so exciting, I'm thinking, my awareness gradually going up. I open the chest where there are two pieces of a broken Persian tablet. Lots of false memories come with the stuff - you have to gather the pieces, which fit by some sort of magnetic attraction. Two pieces are missing and I examine the rest of the chest although I know they have to be in the other room.

At this point, the DC of this person from real life comes. She hasn't featured in many lds, but is usually an irritating DC in non-lds. Now she begins to mess with the chest and stuff and I totally dislike her being around. I try to get her to leave, telling her she has no place here and that this is my dream. She doesn't like it and produces a knife and after a bit of struggle stabs me with it. If I'm not mistaken it's in my palm. This is outrageous, and I decide to use the lucid dreamer's weapon "You are not real, the pain doesn't exist, I'm ok". She just stands there but alas I feel terrible pain. The sensation is so strong and overwhelming, I'm afraid I'm going to go into dream trance (which happened once after an intense bout of fear). Nothing against that, but I wanted to act more in the dream and now one of the effects is that everything becomes blurry and out of focus. This angers me and I tell her "See what you did, you ruined the dream".

Not quite sure what exactly happened, but I decide to move on and continue walking around and things return to normal. It's a nice apartment now that I perceive as my parents' place. There are lots of DCs here and I interact with them but don't remember all of it. Went from one room to the other and also had some sexy thoughts but then I got annoyed with myself and dropped the matter.

I go to the kitchen and see a classmate and think this is a good opportunity to talk to his DC and ask him why he behaves like he does. But by the time I reach him, his features change and it's another person. We still exchange a few words. There are about 6-7 DCs in the kitchen I interact with them. The first thing that makes an impression is that after saying something funny, they all start laughing in exactly the same manner, making the exact same movement. I make them laugh some more and then shout out loud to get their attention, they all look at me in the same way. One final attempt, I raise my hand to get their attention as if making a speech and now all of them do this at the same time. I find if weird that all of them do this and think about asking on DV.

In the living room, I do the raise your hands and shout thing again and get echo replies from the DCs again. This makes me want to have a music experience where all of them sing & shout in the same enthusiastic fashion and decide that it will be cool to play "take a look around" for this effect. Not quite sure if there was previously music playing in the background or false memories, also more false memories about me preparing the place beforehand so that you can use it as desired in an ld. In this case it is possible to leave a device with a song from real life and play it in the dream. But I didn't prepare it, so I have to improvise.

While I play the song in my mind to check if I know it correctly, I'm not confident that I will be able to fully produce it by singing so would rather rely on an external device. There's a TV nearby and I get the remote and begin searching channels for MTV. The first thing that appears on the screen once the TV turns on is a manga channel, the series they are showing is called Sensei and the whole channel is dedicated to it. I get a false memory that this channel only shows the Sensei series and the series are named after the main character. It makes sense to me now that Boss chose the name of the main character in this series. I continue changing channels, looking for MTV and shortly come across it, but the TV switches back to the Sensei channel. (It doesn't dawn to me at all that I am supposed to look for him even after seeing this! )

A bit later I decide to give up and go near the window where there is DC. We engage in a conversation but I lose my lucidity. Soon after wake up.

Date: 25 Jun

Pre bed: 40mg B6

Woke up a million times during the night, but not once attempted to deild/wild, etc.

Wbtb: 1/2 latte but was somewhat less wakeful than necessary

HI: with Sensei (only team colors this time, my name in green, his in silver )

Fell asleep in rather heavy sleep.

LD: I'm using the tram without a ticket and am worried about that but don't realize it's a dream till later.

At some point I'm on the street lucid and do some spontaneus flying again. I see this guy from school and decide to fly towards him, where I focus on my hands being on his shoulder and speed fly/zoom to move there. I recall to seek Sensei but decide the dream needs stabilizing and spend a few seconds feeling the texture of the guy's jacket. He says a few words and I probe whether he can talk but he mostly replies with gibberish.

We continue down the street and there's another guy with him. It gradually gets darker till it's as dark as night. I gaze at a distant light that's so bright it leaves an after image. I think about asking about this on DV. This doesn't make things better for my vision as everything around fades into darkness. I address the guys and tell them to fix this, that we need some color but the they don't help much. The physical sensations are still here, so I decide to bring back the scene by engaging in action and begin to strip one of the guys.

A scene appears in full color but for some reason this has the effect of an FA and I become very concerned about what I'm doing. A moment later wake up.