non-lucid

Date: 22 June

As the title indicates this was not a pleasant night. All possible negative factors in one place (neighbors party, early wake, heat).

Early frag: I got like 3 hrs of sleep, nice rebound from previous day and vivid dreams. It was the story of Mancon. [I think this has Dreamer's influence again]. Another DV member was involved a bit later on. In a later dream there was a brief part that included Sensei, but not enough of recall to claim a point for decent incubation.

Mega insomnia and headache follows. Usually, I don't worry that much because I know this will most likely result in an ld, but this time sleep seemed as distant as the Andromeda galaxy.

A minor ld in between the sleep attempts: Spent it flying in a new prayer style. Hands held together as if in prayer, I use them to set the direction. Some memory about imaging being pulled by a rope in the direction where I want to fly. It's kind of a cool style, close to the ground.

There is another female DC in front of me flying the same style she is coming in my direction and we are about to crash, I let her phase through me - she doesn't hit me but seems to have passed to the side. I concentrate on the flying again and notice that I'm moving extremely slow, I try to speed up thinking about super speed but the movement gets even slower. Soon after I wake.

I realize that I had totally forgotten about looking for Sensei. Continue turning and tossing without any hope of sleep, let alone dreams.

Some rather deep sleep /dreams follow after I finally have the chance to fall asleep.

Random frag: I have a nightmare involving my parents. It's absolute hell and my body jolts me out of it, in the last moments I know it's a dream but who would want to stay there?

Ld fragment: I'm in a room with a female DC. This totally qualifies for the basic totm.

Ld fragment: This was a pretty long ld block, but I'd say it was in a very deep sleep. While I managed to remain lucid for quite a while, I didn't have any recall about tasks or that I was supposed to do anything at all. I spent it with plan B - try to cover as much as possible for as long as possible.

I reflect back on the ld with the woman in the room and make a mental note about it and count lds. (With the gaps in memory this is now rather irrelevant) Memory gap.

I recall later on being on the street at night and lucid again. There's this man playing basketball and I say a few things to him. I continue walking around rather aimlessly and remember it being extremely physical and exhausting at some point as I cover quite a dream distance.

The only action that I somewhat more decently remember is that there were a few snowmen painted somewhere and I got super excited about them and decided to summon more. I filled the entire street square with small and large snowmen, very cool and crazy!

The dream went on with diminishing level of awareness. Didn't wake up straight away and had a few non-lds afterwards, so this messed memory even more.

Date: 06 June

Didn't plan to wbtb but woke up super alert and couldn't fall asleep for quite a while. Had to rush so left only key words and wrote the entry much later. Apart from that I can say that this was probably one of the longest lds I've had.

Ld: I appear on the street in a car, some guy nearby. For some reason I decide to think of my physical body and panic as not to wake myself [have been reading about this on the forum and got some sort of schema infection]. I try to ignore it and concentrate on the dream, get out of the car. On the street, I run into a chick with a black dress, try to kiss her for totm but wake up.

I wait for another dream.

LD: In an apartment with my mom (this dream lasts super long, I don't try to memorize the details though). Mostly spend it in the apartment, walking around and talking to mom, trying not to control or influence her. Very stable. Mom is talking like a normal person. I kiss her on the cheek for totm.

I examine the living room, the objects - wooden Mayan statues like the face of Pacal. Kids collectible toys on nearby shelves - I start to recognize them, false memories, they are mine. This place, I have been here before. I face mom and start questioning her about all this. She explains something about this being in the future and our new place.

What's interesting is that I feel super alert. I scan my awareness and I feel this wakefulness - very alert and just as if in real life. I think it's impossible to be dreaming this alert and yet I'm here. There's an Asian DC in place of mom now and a second DC next to her. I intensely question the first about the dream and place but she only smiles shyly. A moment later something happens super fast - there is some sort of an open box and the Asian woman disappears into it - like genie into a lamp sort of but vanishes to leave the empty open box. The other DC turns into some weird objects - it's hard to tell what they are, they turn to little plastic soldiers then transform into other plastic colorful objects.

I remember the meteor task and go to the window, stare at the sky to see a meteor form out of the nothingness. It then moves from the distance following a twisted trajectory, decelerates to fall in front of the window and into a shallow water that covers the street where it disintegrates. I'm a bit disappointed that there is no showy splash or damage, so repeat the process with two smaller meteorites that fall and dissolve in the same way.

The dream continues and I turn back to the apartment where I hang out more. I begin to feel possible lack of ability to stay here, so I go into the kitchen to drink a glass of refreshing cold water. This helps me feel better and focus. A moment later I decide to fully immense in living in this other place and have breakfast. My mom serves me some eggs, they weren't as delicious as I had hoped for but ok.

At some point my bf arrives, where we discuss the place and future but I lose lucidity.

The next part I recall is that we are strolling on the beach and I'm lucid again, reshaping the beach and calming down the waves.

My recall is completely fragmented at the end but after some more on and off lucidity I end up in a church watching DC wearing weird clothes.

Brief notes/journal entry

So, not really much into manga these days, but Naruto Shippuden was on sale a few weeks ago and I decided to buy it to possibly enhance my dream powers. Only had time to play 3-4 hrs so far (last played two weeks ago).

Why am I giving all of these details? Well, with only this amount of exposure to the game I got 3 Naruto related dreams - Naruto on the cover of a mag, Naruto manga books and today a cool Naruto battle.

I recall only a frag of this non-ld but it really cool. I was watching something game-like at the same time participating as in a normal dream, made some moves with my hands and several times produced this (animated?) fire that reduced the opponent's hit points. Don't think it was a full match to a particular move from the game, but really amazed with the ease my subcon picked the whole thing up. Must do more experiments.

This is a short info summary from the 15th

Pre bed: l-arginine (500)

Natural wake: l-tyrosine (500)

Didn't do wbtb, no notes on pre bed work. Focus was on sleeping, no review in mind or notes taken until final wake.

The dreams were extremely vivid, wonder about the effect of this combo. Vividness may have also been boosted by lack of sleep in the days before.

NLD: In some very green neighborhood that transitions into a forest, very vivid experience. I notice there are cats everywhere, more and more of them (DS). Further there's a place where this DC is giving a presentation about getting rid of the cats and making some sort of lucid camp on the same place, teaching people how to ld.

Short ld: In the early part of this dream we are in a cool mansion where there is some event and I'm collecting various food items. We (me and some random and changing DC companion) then leave the mansion and I shortly get a game like view of the map where the mansion is. We decide that something is chasing is and go back in the mansion to find some item to helps us with that. The mansion is now deserted, this thing is supposedly after us, we end up jumping on roofs and climbing down couple of trees. I know it is a dream when climbing down, somewhat low awareness here.

On the street, I look at the DC and tell him to repeat this is a lucid dream and remind me of it later on as I would actually like to continue with this scenario. It's a bright sunny day and I catch part of a greek temple/baroque building behind the near buildings and contemplate whether to explore it. Decide to run through my goals first but the dream ends.

Date: 18 March

Pre bedish: Vit C, l-arginine

Not quite the same results with vividness compared to the last time (15th) that used l-arg, but the wbtb did it

Pre wbtb dream: somewhat vivid but quite evasive for recall

wbtb: 1/3 latte

LD1: The beginning memory is quite vague but the dream starts in my parents' place where I shortly talk to dad, some minor awareness about this being a dream that goes away the next moment. A relative comes and I go to greet her but notice that she is shaking, try to calm her down and hug her but she shakes more. I take a look at my hands and for the first? time I see an extra finger next to each one (they are kind of separated yet moving together with my hand). This doesn't quite jolt me into lucidity as I don't give it any thought at all, still concerned about my relative. As I move a bit I finally recall the short lucid moment before and remember I was supposed to be lding. I walk around with no particular place in mind when I feel the dream starting to thin out. In addition, there is this real but dream amplified sensation of hunger in my stomach, which makes the dream even more unstable and me very pissed off. I drag myself forward near some furniture with a rather defeated mindset.

Then I see dad sitting at a long dinning room table and recall the Mad Hatter Tea Party task. I think my mom was also there, so I turn to the kitchen and tell her to make me some tea. I look at the kitchen but my mom has disappeared. No, just when I need her DC she's gone, I turn around and try to summon her, which should be easy, still no DC. Quite interestingly, I do hear loud noises coming from the kitchen as if she is there - the water running, dishes, etc.

I decide to summon a cup of tea myself and more like a habit, I move my hands closer as if holding a cup of tea and the next moment I start distinguishing the light tea liquid in between. After a bit, a china cup appears there as well. My mood is super elevated after this - an effective summon in direct eyesight - not what I expected! I place it on the table - its existence is very shifty, where I try to manipulate it into a proper looking and full tea cup. In the meantime, if not mistaken mom comes and leaves a small tea cup at the table. I pour some of the liquid from the large one into the small one. Now everything looks satisfactory. The cups are still a bit shifty now with blue decorations. This is probably the only less rushed part of the dream, where I actually decide to take a moment and examine the picture at the bottom of the cup and memorize it. It is a typical Chinese decoration in blue - a village person with a Chinese straw hat as if fishing barehanded in the river in front of a village. I even get to feel some cool false memories/info about the people that used this cup at this point in the past and their life.

The next thing I need is a rabbit and I think about one while looking around, then turning to dad to see that he is holding one - a real rabbit, but as I come closer to examine it becomes a stuffed toy rabbit. Oh, well, it's still a rabbit. Now I need the mad hatter and as planned I want to summon Johnny Depp to represent him. This will be a tough one, so I decide to summon him as Jack Sparrow as this role has the strongest impression for my mind. I need to feel his presence, so I kind of shortly turn into him myself as I shout out full of emotion in a deep male pirate voice "Captain Jack Sparrow". A bit worried about the strength of my voice waking me up. This is enough to cause strong thoughts about the character and a JS DC appears in front of me. He's not wearing all the make up, but has pirate clothes and the dreadlocks. Similar to my cup summons, his facial features quickly change to those of a random DC. That doesn't matter now, I notice he wears no hat and if he is the mad hatter he has to, so I think about a hat, see one, then another one that I triumphantly place on his head. Ok, where were we? Briefly lose mental focus, then recall about the poem. I only manage to say the first word and the dream quickly thins out.

My concentration/mental energy has been rather poor for a deild. I review the dream, conclude that this was probably it for this month, since it will be difficult to go through all the summoning again. I feel tired and decide to just sleep.

A few short non-lds and then:

LD2: Weirdly, (or not!) I'm at my parents place again. Initially we are inside and my parents interact with this strange retriever type of dog. But something's totally off with it. It comes wearing some sort of a napkin mask and as I try to ask the dog about it, it seems to be trying to talk - like a person with his mouth shut, he (later she) makes some noises that sound like real words that almost make sense to me. I begin to suspect that this is actually a person undercover. He also runs like a person in the yard and it turns out just that - some French girl is pretending to be the dog.

We are outside now and some family friends are visiting. I make comments about the way they are dressed. Suddenly, it dawns on me that I am at the same location of the previous dream and indeed dreaming. I wonder what to do and discard the idea of going for the totm again since there won't be enough time to complete the task, yet since there's nothing else to do and maybe it's no coincidence I have another dream here, decide to go ahead anyways.

There's a part that's open to the yard like a garage with lots of tables and all the family & friends DCs walking around and being super loud. I try to summon a cup again, this time one appears on the table where I'm standing. Also, in the distant end of the garage is another table with two large tea pots. I bring the cup over there, but it fills up with sugar as I examine the items on the table. I guess that's enough for a tea party and decide not to mess with the stuff anymore. The light in the garage gradually goes down - this is also the end of the garage, near the wall. The DCs make their way around the table, taking part of the tea party. I need the rabbit and without actively summoning it, notice that on one of seats around the table is actually sitting the white rabbit from Alice in Wonderland (1951), wearing the playing cards type of clothes. He is animated, which is strange, but I'm just happy about the summon and wonder what to do about the mad hatter. Again, unexpectedly as I look to my other side I see the mad hatter (1951). It takes me a bit to actually realize that I'm looking at the mad hatter from the movie. What is even more interesting is that I get this very convincing memory that the clothes that he is wearing in the dream are the correct ones - and he is a wearing green! (later checked to find out that it's the right attire). The dream becomes extremly dark at this point with one last effort I make all the DCs repeat with me the poem-like thing I prepared for this event :

"Lucid dreaming,
what's the meaning
something's flying in the sky,
awesome feeling
rabbits speaking
why, Ophelia, why?"

The dream is gone and I end up with a short session of SP (being unable to move, while feeling my physical body, seeing only darkness). I wait it out, thinking I must have been on my back (slightly to the right but yes) and start telling myself about the dream.

DEILD: I expect to wake up, but involuntarily deild back instead. My mental continuity is messed up and during this part I shortly believe that I haven't left the dream at all. I examine the mad hatter character residue who turns into normal DC. I go outside and wonder what to do as there still might be some dream time, briefly question if it was ok to do another task, where I think about going for toty. I decide to go ahead. Some background DCs and me are in the yard now. There's a small black hound-like dog running around that distracts me and I try to ignore it as much as possible, while thinking about the beanstalk. I see some sort of bean-like seeds on the ground and take them, looking for a good place to plant them. I open my palm and see them undergoing many changes - all sorts of colors and shapes and try to make them a particular sort of beans again. After some struggle they look like dark red beans and I place them on the steps where there is a lot of muddy soil and cover them with it. One stone's hanging above and I think it will mess up how they grow, because of my thoughts. Anyways, I start to think about them growing and they grow into small shoots. The dream fades.

Note to self: All of the actively summoned objects were shiftier than the rest of the dream (cup, rabbit, js, beans)

It's been quite a while, since I've updated here, so there we go.

Date: 13 Feb

Pre bed: 3 mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

I have a non-ld at my grandma's, then another one at an unidentified place that resembles our old place, where I'm trying to ld while family members are walking around.

Mini-LD: I have a short ld that feels like a dream from scratch where I suddenly find myself in this dream scene. I examine myself in the mirror. Memory gap.

LD:Now I am at our old place and remember to do breathing exercises. This goes on for a while until the dream collapses.

LD: I'm on the street now facing this mexican looking DC, he seems quite lively and says something that's in line with what I was thinking/saying. This leads me to initially believe that he's a smart DC. I start a conversation with him, asking him about stuff of interest.

As I talk to the DC, I start noticing that the background kind of flickers (the light in the entire scene), it gradually becomes thicker with this additional layer of light. In the meantime, it seems there is nothing to be learned from this DC as he keeps on coming up with random words.

I start paying less attention to him, continue expressing my thoughts and desires. I pay more attention to what's going on, don't analyze the situation, just witness and feel this energy. The dream layer of energy and light becomes brighter and more dense, it's like I can feel the entire field of dense energy that is over everything and there's a slight hue towards the very light blue to it. It's somewhat pleasant but I totally get the feel and worry that the dream might be coming to an end, while this is happening.

I then recall my restaurant task and look around. The street is rather deserted, just warehouses and no restaurant nearby. The energy effect gradually diminishes as I concentrate on my task. I get the feeling that it might be difficult to change things in this dream, it seems realistically stable when I look at the warehouses, but then get an idea to think about McD. I think about finding a McD around and sure enough, I see the familiar M (or something close to it) over one of the places at the warehouse.

It's closed though, I can see that it's empty and the lights are off. But no problem, I instinctively cover the place with my hand and think about it being open and working/full of people. I move my hand away and it is! I head in its direction, happy about the summon. There are large pictures of burgers all over. But wait, do I really want to eat McD in a dream? I continue inside the store, which feels like some part of mall now. There's this undetermined place that kind of looks like a supermarket section or a convenience store, whatever, it is adjusting to my thoughts/expectations as I come closer.

In the end as I reach the shelves, wondering what to pick up to eat, it becomes a sushi place. I examine the food, wondering what my subcon will come up with, trying not to influence it too much. There's delicious looking sushi with red caviar and also another box that I can't recall in detail. I grab those two and head towards the cashier. Here, I want to play around some more.

There are two female DCs working there and a number of DCs queueing to pay. I go to the counter and expect to be immediately served. They direct their attention towards me and take the boxes, giving me a slight look of discontent. I feel like I don't have any money with me, but instead of summoning them, I decide it will be more fun to pretend that I am paying and everything is fine. This is exactly what what I do - after the old Chinese lady tells me the price, I make a movement to hand her some invisible banknotes which she takes and gives me back a receipt and semi-existing sort of change (a coin or so). She also hurts me a bit with her finger nail and gives me a somewhat angry look (as if she knows what I'm doing). I take the stuff and get ready to leave but the dream fades and I find myself in bed. I briefly wait to resume, but it doesn't immediately happen, and possibly better for journaling.

Date: 11 Feb

Pre bed: lecithin

Wbtb: 1/3+ latte

Was feeling super sleepy and even after the latte and mantras, I knew if I fall asleep nothing's going to happen. So I try to seriously to project my intent forward and expect an ld.

DILD: I mostly have some unconscious moments and then the next thing I remember is that I am involved in this dream in our old place, some scenario going on, but at the back of my mind is this vague thought about lucidity. It's mixed with all the false thoughts about the current dream, but for some reason I decide that whatever's going on is not to my liking and that this is a dream. My dad's walking around as part of the pre-ld scenario and I follow him to the living room.

He sits on the sofa now and I remember about totm. I ask him for a dog biscuit. He instantly hands me something that looks like a rubber dog toy in the shape of a bone. I doubt it's edible and ask him again, where he hands me a smaller version of the same thing. As I examine it, it changes slightly in shape, but I'm still impressed it's the shape of a bone. I ask him a third time, hoping it will finally work. He gives me a small paper package with something like a biscuit sticking from one end. I take it out and it's a bone shaped dog biscuit. I take a bite and slowly chew to feel the taste, it actually tastes pretty nice and fresh, like a normal biscuit and has this very pleasant walnut flavor.

Then, I recall I wanted to ask about true love and ask dad. He doesn't give me a direct answer but addresses the question and makes some rhymes (word starting with o?). Mom is now sitting next to us and I ask her as well. She gives me a long philosophical answer that sounds appropriate, but can't really recall. Then I go back to dad and ask again and he gives me his previous answer.

I go to my room and decide to leave the place and see my friend a few streets away. I'm floating, moving towards the balcony door and open it using tk/thought, another one behind it, open it as well. I think about floating down like this but want to go in the other direction so descend in a hard to describe dream way down the balconies which by then become much longer than rl. I have the feeling that am moving much faster than the dream is building, so slow down and have a quick look at some items in front of me. Only one more story to jump and I wonder from which side it will be more convenient to go - back yard or the street will yield less distortions. The dream becomes shifty and by the time I reach the street, it changes to a different place. I try to bring the old street back by turning around and describing what should be here. The neighbors, this guy's place. I correctly recall he was in the previous dream. Yet, the street remains the same. The dream soon ends. I feel like continuing sleeping, but start to forget details already.

Date: 30 Jan

Pre bed: 400val, 45 mg B6

Wbtb: 1/3 latte

Overall impressions: vividness high, recall below average, pre wbtb recall close to zero

DILD: I am walking down the corridors of my school (DS) and we are supposed to have another class in a different classroom, so I don't know in which one we are right now (DS). I go to the where the teachers' room is and enter. It turns to a classroom from another part of the school and I examine the faces of the kids sitting there to determine if I'm in the right place. I see this small boy who has the features of my classmate as if he is 1st or 2nd grade and that jolts me into lucidity. The room is full of kids and I closely look at their faces trying to identify and expecting to see all of my classmates here (as in trying to recreate the past accurately). Most importantly, I am trying to recall and see exactly where is everyone sitting. There's a guy that looks like _ and _tells me that he sits alone, which I doubt, knowing he sits next to another guy. I start calling out names of particular classmates while trying to determine if the seating is correct.

For a second I think I see a doppelgänger of a classmate. I look at the first desk where at least according to a vague memory _ may be sitting or a dream memory, I have dreamt of that room so many times that my dream memories are also partially accessible and get mixed with real ones. There's another girl that doesn't belong here so I move her to the side leaving only _ here and contemplating. The teacher is about to begin the class, but with me acting so commandingly she seems to pause. I make an announcement that the class won't start until I identify and arrange all the classmates and continue looking around. As I stare at this classmate, I finally remember that I wanted to try to read a book and tell her to give me something to read. She hands me/I notice a paper notebook on the desk. I'm slightly uncertain if this will work, as I may run into some school materials. Anyways, I start browsing the notebook paper pile and get my hands on some sort of book. I try to read the title, which is a mix of words that don't make sense and I make an effort to understand what the book is about - something about hands, there is an illustration at the front cover and it looks like some sort of karate manual. I find this pretty cool and look forward to learning karate from this book.

If I'm not mistaken, I take another look at the front cover title and try to reason it out but it changes again as I try to assign some meaning to it. Then I begin browsing the pages and read one of them. The text stabilizes and I read the first sentence with great effort, but I get the meaning without actually reflecting too much on the words. It's a Mongolian story about one of their leaders. I browse more and every couple of pages there are beautiful manually drawn pictures, that look like little paintings that show what's happening in the story. He was supposed to participate in a horse racing in the village. I see a picture of the place after the race, empty now. I look at couple more pics but it's hard to memorize them all, then do back to the front page and title that I am still trying to figure out. Now on the cover is a very peculiar drawing of a house attached to a sleigh or whatever that thing is. The part of the title talking about hands now refers to bamboo and the act of practicing with care. I keep wondering about the title while the dream fades away.

Date: 24 Jan

Pre bed: 200mg val, 50mg B6

Wbtb: 1/4 latte

Wasn't very wakeful even though repeated mantras a few times, fell asleep rather fast, had a few non-lds I can't recall

DILD: I am having a tense conversation with this female DC I know. She starts criticizing me. I reply that as a revenge I will then do something to make her feel the same way she makes me feel with all her comments. While this is a rather habitual mental reaction, I notice that contrary to other times I don't feel anything at that very moment. Still, as part of my revenge scheme I take her and turn her upside down in front of all the DCs in the room to publicly humiliate her.

As I stare at her, I notice that she just stays there, like a motionless puppet and become lucid. We're in a very large meeting room with a long table in the middle and lots of DCs participating in some corporate event. I'm in a daring mood and decide it's time to defy social rules by getting on the table in the middle of this meeting. Then I almost lose lucidity being carried away by thoughts of how all of the world's problems may be solved by by issuing unlimited credit cards to the entire population.

I keep thinking about this issue as I leave the place and continue towards an unknown city center. There to help me focus more I shout out loud "I am dreaming". There was a slight instability so this helps me ground as well.

Then I remember the invisibility task and go in the middle of the road pretending to be invisible.There are cars coming from all directions but as soon as I pay attention to them, they hit the breaks and spin a bit. I turn around and the same thing happens again. Then I see this huge truck coming in my direction. I start waving hands, checking if the driver can see me. He doesn't hit the brake or slow down and the truck is quickly coming closer. I step to the side to avoid the impact. There's little space between me and the truck, my uncontrolled expectations cause it to fall sideways on top of me, where I feel this huge weight on me. I try to move and free my head, but this results in a physical feeling, which gives me the impression I have just moved in my bed. I expect to wake up any moment but get an FA instead.

I believe that I have woken up for real and the first thing I notice is this piano music coming from the outside. I'm actually in the neighbors where we used to live some time ago and look to find where the music is coming from. I see this girl that I remember (possibly from another dream but could be false memory) who got that piano there and something about her. As if that isn't enough, the balcony is crowded - many people in their 20s and 30s dressed with business attire as if attending some sort of event. I'm think this is just too much when I am trying to fall asleep and decide this can only be a dream, reminding myself that I was trying to ld. Can't member how, but it seems I lose consciousness after that and have another FA.

I think in the beginning, I'm looking from the window to see what's down but then the scene changes and we move to this wooden porch. I initially see this strange big animal that looks suspiciously like a DS, I can't tell what kind of animal it is. Then there is a smaller one and I'm still trying to identify the large one. I'm starting to have some real doubts about this and begin to count the animals, one now looks like a bear and can't remember the rest but there's four of them. I conclude this is a dream and go to interact with one of the animals. It looks like a very large black boar/tapir and as I place my hand on its snout, it bites me and it even hurts.

I move slightly to the left and examine the rest of the area, where I notice a number of elephant-like creatures. I think they are separated from the porch, but no cage, it looks much like in a zoo. At some point the elephants begin to distort in features, open mounts and start roaring very louldy in a generally unpleasant manner. I try to stop them by thinking I want them to stop, but nothing happens and more join the roaring event. I remain there staring at them as they do so, kind of calm, but there's also this deeper inner response to their roaring, which surely is what is affecting them. I think that the problem is exactly this feedback loop - I am thinking that they are roaring, therefore they continue roaring. Then conveniently, I recall the inivible task and think it can be applied quite nicely here. I think that I am invisible. To my genuine surprise, at this very moment all the roaring stops for good.

I'm curisous to how far I can take this with my supposed invisibility and turn around and try to sneak out, while carefully listening for any reaction. The dream fades.

Notes: I have reduced B6 dosage to 50mg as previously it made me too wakeful. Recent valerian series - characterized by difficult recall, lower lucidity levels and more bizarre occurrences, in particular animals.

Date: 08 Jan

Pre bed: 3mel

Wbtb: 1/3 latte, around 34 mg caffeine

I'm quite sleepy and resist waking myself too much, but still try to stay as awake as possible while in bed, repeating mantras and goals. I fall asleep with some long deep REM rebound.

DILD: It's a very long dream where me and parents get ready for a trip. Then I meet a DC that feels like a kindred sprit, I am eager to discuss with him possible solutions to a problem we both have.

A few moments later, I realize that this is a dream and remember my goals, freeze water and go fishing. The guy disappears somewhere. I am walking in what looks like a park and as I think about the task, I see that there are large puddles of water all around. Initially, I try to use them for the task even though they are too shallow and begin freezing them by willing it as well as by placing my hands down over one of them, where while they freeze, they emanate coldness and there's a cool mist effect lifting from the puddles! But then I realize this isn't going to work for the task and walk a bit further where there's a much larger and deeper body of water, like a pond.

I will the water to turn to ice, but to my surprise nothing happens. This annoys me. I contemplate whether to just get on the water as if it is frozen, but am uncertain if it will work, if I continue to expect to sink if I step on it. In the meantime, the water finally freezes. When I look at the surface, I see that part of it begins to melt already and dig with my hands in the softened ice to make a hole. This happens quite easily with no discomfort from the cold. There's some coldness, but it's ok, since I didn't think about it too much. I put my hands through the hole, reaching as far as I can and expecting to run across a catch.

I wait for a while but there's nothing around them and it gets kind of creepy what might be lurking in the darkness below the ice. In the area that's partially covered with ice, I can now see a number of small fish swimming around and succeed in catching one. It is a small tropical butterfly type fish but silver and red. As I hold it, my bf appears next to me and I tell him to take a picture, which I so much wish I could bring to rl, but before he can take the pic, the fish escapes.

I become so happy that have completed the task, I lose lucidity and begin to tell the dream to myself. After a while, I realize the dream is still going. Now I'm on the street in some neighborhood, there is an unconscious movement from my part and I end up floating in mid air, slightly above the ground, very stable though. I correctly recall this feeling from many dreams I had and exclaim to myself that taking off isn't as difficult as I have thought (previously irl). This is a good opportunity to practice a bit of flying and I do some flight manipulation, where I try to think of the direction and my body flies well in that direction. Then I try to take a turn and go in the opposite direction, but it doesn't quite work.

More rather random movements mid air and then I fly high up near a tall residence building, where I climb the last three stories using my hands. I somehow take a step back (see the building from a distance, although I am at the level of the third to last story). A black dotted panther on the balcony catches my attention. It looks kind of small, but actually it is the right size compared to the balcony and the stuff around it. The whole building seems small as if I am looking at it from a distance, yet I am very close to it. I briefly pay attention to that, but then wonder no more. There is a dalmatian in the apartment with the panther and I just so love exploring people's places, like in many non-lds. On the balcony below is a centipede, a very long one, apparently the same size as the panther (fits the balcony lenght). It doesn't look very appealing and I see two more on different balconies, I become vaguely aware that I am causing the one-many effect.

At some point I discarded the idea of going for Toty, because I thought the dream might end, but since it's still going, I decide to give it a try. Somehow, I go down to the ground and begin exploring a dream version of a familiar street. The bus station is here, only residential buildings, some larger buildings appear, but nothing that looks like a palace. I head towards the larger buildings that seem suitable and try to think that one of them is a palace. It starts to change, more and more detail is added and it becomes a flashy top notch casino. I still believe I could change it to a palace by trying to add a few columns at the entrance, but just increase the level of detail/casino quality.

I move on to the next building's entrance, which I recognize as some sort of amusement area. There's a distant dream memory also at work. Since I don't feel I'll get anywhere further with the palace, I eagerly get in, looking forward to having some fun. At this point I remember a dream where I took a super cool ride at a place that looked like this and become very excited. The lobby of the place where they sell the tickets is visitor empty, there's just the guy that sells the tickets, a girl that will ride with me and a male DC. The tall male DC next to my right is accompanying me to the cashier and I get a number of false memories and begin to have romance thoughts about him.

The DC at the desk gives me weird instructions of how to properly hold to the cart and my behavior while next to the girl that's also taking the ride. She is new, so I have to be careful. Bla bla, my lucidity level is dropping. I go to the girl and we wait to be let in to the ride but the dream finally fades and I wake up.

Date: 05 Jan

Noisy neighbors and dehydration = wbtb

I drift in and out of sleep. There's a short non-ld where I observe and discuss a huge dog, two other large dogs and their owners. We take pictures.

DILD: This one started right after the non-ld as separate dream. I was looking forward to an ld after the neighbor induced wbtb.

I begin to feel the surroundings and hear a gentle tune as if coming from a toy or a music box. I am aware. This time things happen much slower and I notice that indeed, it was dark around me and then suddenly I open my eyes and see. The room is bright and vivid and dream-like liquid. This is supposed to be our kitchen. I'm happy I noticed the opening of the eyes. In this official dream entry/realization moment the melody makes a concluding sound, it then starts again. I find one of those kid toys that produce similar effects and make it play. I still hear the gentle tune plus there is a second layer of slower modern music (like a techno beat) in the background. I enjoy this for a while, having the feeling that I left the tablet on and the music is seeping in the dream.

For my disappointment, I ascertain that there is no one here and I wanted to do the resolution task again. I approach the window and see that the neighbor's place is just below, there is a bed and his entire room is accessible. Without hesitating, I get down and end up in his bed, but then have second thoughts. Things look kind of real, what if this is rl and I am trespassing? I decide to do a nose plug, it fails, but I notice the feeling is somewhat different from rl. I'm kind of annoyed and can't remember any other RCs to confirm. Finally, I conclude that I probably wouldn't be that crazy to do this normally and resume my activities.

My hope was to find the neighbor in his room, but there's no one there so I go around. It's a huge apartment complex in an unknown place. I pass by the windows of a closed store, some really nice sweaters inside and I almost lose lucidity thinking about the brand and design. I continue on my way to see another store, also closed. It's dark on the streets, like the city in early morning with no people in sight, apart for a guy that goes in the direction where I came from. I think he is another neighbor and then the realization hits me that I can ask him. I go back and follow him to his place. He soon comes down being a completely different DC (tribal dots on his face) with two other DCs accompanying him. He claims they are neighbors. I also introduce myself as a his neighbor and ask him about his NY resolutions. He replies he doesn't have time now, because he just met the other neighbors and it's one per weekend thing.

I insist on getting my answer, "don't worry I am not going to bother you, just tell me what your New Year's resolution is". He starts talking but I can't catch the words, the sound is muffled. He mentions something about a woman and then after repeated questioning from my side finally replies "I want to be someone they always remember, always want to know". Oh, that is beautiful, I exclaim and repeat his sentence a few more times to commit to memory. Two other DCs come in. I try to remember my other tasks but before I do, the dream fades.

Date: 8 Dec

Entry 2/2

[Summary of non-ld part]:

In school, invited by teacher and classmates to go to the movies. One of them forgets an item belonging to her husband and we go back. On the way back, I lose sight of my classmates and go to bring another item to another classmate that was previously in the room, going to her place.

Her place looks pretty weird with some guys going to a sauna room next to her door. The room turns into a bathroom and I have a look at my reflection, my hair's different but I like it too much to realize something's off. After a while of vanity staring, with the place now a trailer on the street, I identify that my features aren't exactly supposed to look like this and it finally hits me.

My memory is kind of blurry about the surroundings but I remember getting out of the trailer, then walking to this U turn, where I begin to feel the dream thinning. I immediately start rushing without any purpose, can't think of any tasks either, which adds to my worries. I tell myself to stop doing this and try to look around instead, notice some sort of store where I try to read the name. This seems to take the attention off dream instability and helps fix things.

I'm in the middle of a heavy traffic road, cars going in both directions. I feel like I want to push couple of vans off the road to test my abilities. I try pushing one, but to my surprise, it feels heavy as a real van. I continue until managing to make a number of vans lift off in the air, then throw them using tk near the road. Then I turn around to the traffic behind me, lift a number of cars, allow them to stay in the air for a while then tk drag them to the same place I left the previous ones. At some point a few of the cars in the air start to morph into chunks of metal and emit this strong metallic smell.

There's a bit of green (like grass and trees) on the scene but overall I don't like the composition. I command the traffic to stop and try to mentally prevent any new cars from coming and think about cleaning up around. How should I do that, erase the pile of metal crap? Then I remember I wanted to try drawing with the finger. The scenery in front of me has many levels, but I find an empty spot where the end of the scenery meets the blue sky and draw a triangle here and concentrate on seeing what's going to happen. Indeed, there is a ghost-like shape and especially in the beginning it is the Great pyramid, the right proportions and color. A bit later it becomes somewhat pointier and the stone darker, more like a Nubian pyramid. I give it a try to fix it a bit, but it more or less remains the same. And of course, it is unfortunately too far. I know I have to reach it as fast as possible.

Not too used to flying, I start swimming in the air, floating towards the pyramid pretty successfully. Interestingly, I also breathe the same way I would during swimming. The scenery in front of me is an mix of steep hills and walls. I keep swim flying, reaching one of the walls, see cameras and barbed wire. At this point I think about the title of the journal entry, this is the most guarded pyramid in the world (already thinking about journaling!). Swim flying and climbing, I am getting closer to the top of the structure, when I see that the pyramid has turned into a number of houses and radio tower. I want to do the drawing again, but the dream fades.

(Now, I kind of feel a bit guilty of drawing exactly the same thing as CL, but it was the first thing that came to mind. Also, should have thought more about the pyramid, rather than titles)

Date: 06 Dec

Was supposed to do a wbtb, but felt really sleepy, so I just kept nervously waking up and falling asleep again. Was more deeply asleep than usual, had a pretty cool dream and a mini-ld at the end.

Dream: In some city of the future, there are business people walking on the street. I am in some sort of transportation, with tables in the middle. The guide is talking about us opening the fancy books on the table, but I don't have one. The guy (to be JL) in front of me gives me his book.

My attention is then drawn by the resting yogi platforms on the street. Initially a few, then many (DS), looking extremely interesting, like two rows of beige hammocks, each hammock cell uniquely decorated with some tribal art. These seem to continue down the street like forever (DS) and an old sadhu is horizontally resting on each one. I notice I am making sounds with my mouth as if playing a didgeridoo. Amongst the individual cells for the yogis are a few reporters from National Geographic. As I think about these reporters, the face of one of them turns into a human tiger face.

We are still in the transportation and the guide explains about some sort of formation, that I think I noticed is in the sand between each cell? It's like a barely visible vortex in the sand, but when he explains about the formation, I begin to see as if looking on a screen, a computer model graphics of a donut shape. He explains that this formation is the result of the wind and some electromagnetic particles which when falling get to form this shape over time, due to magnetic influences.

There are different types of futuristic cars flying in the air near us. They look like mini planes, but flatter, wider and made from some sort of black material.

The guy that gave me his book is now Jude Law. Near the windows are many interesting (DS) bottles of fancy cosmetics. My attention is torn between him and them, but I touch his arm and leave my hand there, waiting for reaction. He doesn't seem to mind and keeps his arm in the same position. At some point he is eating a pack of dried/transforming to fresh blueberries and offers me some, I refuse.

I begin examining the various cosmetics they have. Some sun tanning stuff and lots of colorful bottles and boxes of expensive cosmetics. I turn to Jude and say that one thing hasn't changed in the future and that is that some cosmetics are still prohibitively expensive. Then I take a purple box of face cream and read out what the benefits are supposed to be, reversing the meaning to the total opposite, my speech turning into a funny negative campaign for L'oreal. Jude is enjoying it too.

I nervously wake up, remember the totm, and go back there.

DEILD: Jude is to my right now and we are still in some sort of transportation. I briefly wonder whether to announce that this is about TOTM, but just say, "Please give me a present", or something along those lines. He looks at me surprised, especially after my long cosmetics speech, like he didn't expect me to want anything from him. I add "It can be something small", thinking it doesn't have to be expensive. He comes closer and gives me a super sexy kiss. We continue kissing for a while, while I contemplate this. The dream fades and I head for the journal.

Date: 15 Oct

Pre bed: 1xGingko combo (Gingko, Ginseng, lecithin, mate)

TST: 6.5 hrs

Bad night of sleep thanks to the neighbors.

LD: At grandma's place and am trying to make a cup of tea by using the boiling water from the tap. However, I can't find the tea anywhere. There is a butler whose name is Charles. We go out and he is driving me to the street where we are supposed to pick the tea from some sort of office. There is snow everywhere, I play with it with my hands. Feels normal.

I become lucid, but have no immediate task in mind. Instead, I decide to play along and go to where we were headed and see what happens. I am a bit uncertain about being able to generate an office, but walk towards the building. The entrance's at the back and I enter the yard. There is some weird flickering going on. I wonder what's that about. The street light has problems? There are electricity cables connected to it and as I move, they get in the way of the light from the lamp, producing this flickering effect. I can't believe this level of detail/effect is possible. Anyways, I continue on my way, get in the building, now there's this guy with me. The office is supposed to be on the first floor. I almost lose lucidity here as the stairs get extremely deformed and narrow, I fail to reach my destination and go back to the building entrance.

The guy is with me and now there is a woman in the team. They are both dressed with green overalls and are like prisoners from an alien colony. They talk about the guy having some sort of disease. We head towards the street, they are holding 3 guns like Uzzis but green as well. Cool, I am thinking very enthusiastically that we are going to have some sort of dream adventure. At this moment I remember to try to get them to join me in my AF TOTY quest. I turn towards what feels like the city center and think about AF. I can hear the sound of falling/running water and soon see that have caused a large city type of river to appear. Initially, there are 3 jets of water as if coming from a fountain, but actually coming from the river. I have the feeling that AF would be hard to form here, but still think the scene is good for the Great Barrier Reef Task. I come closer to the riverbank, the water is quite deep, extremely clear and is about to overflow from my side. In my mind, this is the Great barrier reef already. I gather a bit of courage and plunge.

The scene disappears and my body faces the bottom of what looks like the ocean. It's hard to see as it is very similar to when one is really trying to see underwater. My entire body is submerged in this clear, somewhat shallow water. There is enough light and I can feel the sun shining bright above and as hard as it is to see clearly, I can distinguish lots of grains of sand just below me. I struggle to get a better view of everything, but the impression of having water in the eyes and not adapting yet, remains. I think about the next step, corals, but they are nowhere in sight. At the same time, I think about the sea turtle that's supposed to be here (CL that's from you!) and can see the turtle swimming in the water with the sand right in front of me. In addition to that, I can hear a joyful marine type of tune playing softly in the background. I am still struggling with this watery blurry vision though and it finally gets the best of me and the dream totally fades.

Date: 19 Sept

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

WBTB: 60 mg caffeine (RB)

Non-ld fragment: I am trying to take a shortcut at night in this familiar from previous dreams city. In one of the dark streets, I run into criminal DCs with very bad teeth. A number of young people sitting on a bench agree to defend me if necessary and I go sit there. I find one of the guys extremely beautiful. We talk for a while, but they are leaving soon. I notice that his whole body is covered with small, shiny clear droplets of water and stare in fascination.

In love: Very deep sleep and my recall is not very good.

We are moving in the dorms because it is much cheaper. There are six beds in the room and a guy who already lives here. I ask if only two of the beds, ours, are going to be used. He confirms.

The dream goes on for quite a while with all kinds of thoughts about clothes, bathroom etc. Then it looks like more people actually live here and we will be sharing the room, now apartment with them. Someone opens the door and lots of DCs come in, new roommates, I think. This girl asks me questions about the admin, I don't understand what she is saying.

Bf is gone and this guy comes and talks to me. I realize that this is a dream but my mind is kind of foggy. I remember having thoughts about me being in deep sleep and that this is good for stability. The guy leaves and another one appears, I like him very much and remark that he shows some persistent DC qualities. He comes and goes several times but looks the same, gray t-shirt, black hair, some eyeliner even, a bit like Mark Terenzi. He also gives me a kiss. We talk for some time but my memory is really bad. The dream starts to fade, I lose my sight but I can still hear him. I tell him to keep talking to me, I will hold on to the sound. I can feel my eyelids and am careful not to mess this up, but soon the image returns. He gives me another kiss. The dream slips away again and I struggle to bring it back. He is on the other side now but looking totally different and there is another guy dressed with the same clothes and holding a similar colorful object. The dream fades and I fall into oblivion.

Falling: I am walking down the stairs talking to this DC. It looks like I have forgotten my handbag, I turn back and see it at the top of the stairs. I make it fly directly to my hands. The DC remarks that I am not supposed to do this while abroad. I have this warp-like feeling and realize that I never woke up from the previous dream. The B6 woman is also here in the background and I wonder if I should go and talk to her, examine her energy, and ask why does she always behave like that. At the same time, I don't want to waste too much time with her and risk things getting out of hand, so decide to just ignore her.

I am looking at a large modern glass vase that they are selling in this now shop and try to move it with tk, but not much success. I also try with an elegant china tea cup but I feel that I don't really want to be breaking these things. Finally, I remember Angel Falls and follow the plan of "here and now". The main idea is to use the turn your back technique. I already hear water running just behind me (like a fountain in a mall). I am in some sort of not very well lit mall too. I take a few steps back, concentrating on changing the surroundings. I actually slip backwards a few steps, which feels kind of weird and not very effective, but the surrounds begin to change a bit. I decide to facilitate the process of getting rid of the old scene and into a new scene by falling backwards.

As I do this, it's as if something immaterial swallows me and I enter void weightlessness combined with motion. I shortly see lots of greenery in front of me that is very similar to rainforest vegetation, but it quickly vanishes. I am speeding backwards in the void with this weird feeling of traveling through space at high speed. For a second my mind is totally blank and I feel stressed, I try to remind myself to keep cool, be patient as it seems to be taking too long and shortly pretend I am meditating. Then I try to concentrate on one of my visualizations and build the scene as I had imagined it. During the entire time of the experience, I hear the sound of falling water. It is much harder to concentrate and visualize than I thought, but I succeed in having lots of water flowing on me in the darkness now. I try to prepare the scene again even though it's not the right place where I actually wanted to start from. I am still flying backwards through space, this thing doesn't stop even if I expect it to. I briefly see the top of a barren hill with a non-human castle in the negative mood of some game or a game related dream. I don't want to be there. The falling continues and I finally find myself in bed. I stay still for a while but nothing happens.

Comments: is it just me or is it really hard to concentrate on anything while in the void. I have noticed this another time as well. The moment everything disappears, my mind also goes totally black and if my mind is blank...then there will be nothing to project around me. Maybe I need to think about stuff, rather than struggle to visualize.