non-lucid

Post 2/2 for 16th of Sept

LD2: this dream/dreams have been going on forever, with lots of scene changes and it has been very hard to recover it.

I am in our old bathroom and the B6 woman is here again. We get into a fight again, I squeeze some shampoo in her eyes.

A lucid scene here I can't remember, I am examining my hands and think how normal and real they look, even though I know it's a dream.

I look out the window of this place where I believe I live and see a familiar city. I have some thoughts that I wasn't able to fulfill my goals because I always get stuck in these rooms and I need to go outdoors to make it work better.

I fly outside, but my flight is kind of bad and I end up in a river/marsh. I am on the surface, then sinking down as I wonder what to do. I give myself instructions about what to think and how to modify the terrain below me and there are some changes, but on the whole it doesn't work as it's supposed to and I continue sinking. All kinds of sensations (including void-like) as I feel submerged yet my head is above the water.

I think this must have ended with the void.

I just remember that am in a car with bf and a blonde woman with short hair. She reminds me of an actress. I turn my back on the road and sit on top of the the woman, facing her, then look around. I notice the color of her clothes, blue and green. Really nice colors and fit her very well. I can also see that now I am wearing the same blue shirt as her. The next moment, the woman offers to do some sexy things on me and after a short thought I find the strength to refuse. I concentrate on the phone task and get a phone from one of them. I press the dial button and listen. Immediately a random guy answers, eager for a conversation. I know he's not the right person, so I tell him wrong number and attempt to hang up but he tries to convince me it is the right number. He also says some funny stuff I can't recall.

I take a moment to think that this dream has been going on for a while and I am already forgetting some parts.

At some point, there is some sort of funny nonsensical text on the phone that now turns to some other object, that I try to memorize and temporary do, but as I try to read it again all the letters change.

I can't remember what happened, but now I am in this place, like a large appartment, with lots of DCs all around, mostly representing people I know. I am still trying to call Xanous, have another phone in my hand and I struggle with the phone book. You could say that my lucidity level drops as all kinds of false memories emerge and I am trying not to show I care in front of the people that know me.

For some reason I believe that I have Xanous' real number, that he has given me his real number. I also see some photos of the blue bedsheets of his kid, some toys and other stuff I can't remember. This is on some sort of TV screen now and I am using a remote control (or is it the phone?) to try to navigate the menu and just get to the number and hide from my friends that I have been given all this info.

I finally get the right number, press the dial key and listen. For a while nobody picks up and then the voice mail turns on and I can hear Xanous' voice. He says something briefly and then there's lots of music and sounds as I nervously wait for what seems like forever to be able to leave a message.

I start a long speech from which I remember the first and last sentences.

"Hey Xanous, I made it, I am calling you from a dream. ....

Do you know how hard it has been to keep this super long dream going, pick up."

My voice changes as I speak. I finally exhaust myself with the speech and end the conversation. I look outside and think that now that I am done calling Xanous, I can move to the next task, Angel Falls. It feels like my determination to make that call has been the key factor holding this dream together for a such an great amount of time and now it slowly begins to fade and I wake up.

Date: 16th Sept

Pre bed: 3mg mel

WBTB: 26 mg caffeine (capp.)

Comment: post 1/2 for 16th of Sept. Way behind with updating, trying to keep these post as efficient as possible.

Micro-ld: In my first room, at some point in the dream, I make a call to this woman in the administration and discuss some things with her.

I am in the room and moving in a strange manner, float gliding on the floor and know that this is a dream. I keep on moving around like this but then see the B6 bitch and for some reason assume that she is real. I get totally distracted by what she says and lose 99 percent of my lucidity. We start fighting, bitting and scratching each other. While we are fighting, I keep contemplating, how could I know that this is a dream, she looks so much like her real self.

LD1: I find myself on the street of my hometown and happily remark that this is a dream. I see this guy I know and his friends and think about a song I want to make them sing. I make a few movements with my hands to control the guys like a conductor and get some results but when I listen more closely, they seem to talk more than sing and are slightly out of sync. Then from somewhere I can hear the Manu Chao song (which is a mix of many similar songs) play loudly from somewhere. The sound is absolutely fantastic and I am thinking about how cool listening to a song like this in a dream is. I can hold my concentration on the music for a while and then it stops. I see my friend, still euphoric I greet her and think about interacting with her, but then decide to leave the memory of her alone. I feel the dream is fading.

A classmate of mine appears and I decide to hold on to him for stabilization. I embrace him. He is wearing a T-shirt similar to that of bf. He puts his hands around my waist and then moves one hand to my butt. I feel that this may quickly escalate to something else as I have a moment of sexy feelings. I look at his face, his lips. But no! I have been thinking about this lately (very annoyed with myself), so no! We are just hugging, I concentrate on that and make the sexy feeling go away. I still enjoy the moment, it is like as if we are about to dance to this soft music that I can almost hear at the background. Then I feel a drop of water on my hand and look around to see that it is starting to rain. Absolutely amazing effect, I think to myself. I am still in the same position, in his embrace, pretending to be stabilizing and examine his well shaped arm, notice his tan and the (sorry guys) flawless soft golden hairs. And as if taking in all this detail isn't enough, I can suddenly see his chest expanding and it dawns on me that he is breathing like a normal person. I find his breathing extremely fascinating, due to the fact that this is a dream, and also as I ponder how my subcon has created so much life like detail this time. I must be really immersed in the dream, I think to myself.

Unfortunately, I am taking too much time in this state of awe and feel the dream starts to fade again. I remember I wanted to make a call and look around. There is another DC to my left, similar to another classmate. I also think about my classmate who's holding me. These DCs must have a phone with them. But before I can do anything else the dream totally fades and I wake up.

Date: 7 Sept

Pre bed: Gingko

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Dream quality and recall: pre wbtb dreams above average vividness, but very sleepy, also undergoing a sleep schedule readjustment, so below average recall and too lazy to take notes. Post wbtb average vividness to above average, good recall.

WBTB

I tried to wild like the previous days but was feeling uncomfortable and this was taking way too long so just fell asleep.

Dream: I found this dream quite nonsensical/incoherent and with lots of DS, which is why I am including the details. It was getting warm and loud already and I suspect I went into deeper sleep.

This woman wants to take two hair accessories I had in the past from my hair, it hurts. Ok, I will give you both just be patient, I say. She asks if I have dandruff.

A moment later, same place, there is some sort of story about a Japanese girl, a guy and their friend and the girl is upset. She enters the restroom and starts putting shaving cream on her face. There is a narrator saying that after that she went walking around in something like a hospital where everybody saw her with the cream and she lost face. Both the guy and the girl have long hair.

The perspective changes and I am that girl now, looking in the mirror as my face changes (some male asian features long dark hair/to female asian) and the shaving cream turns to a face mask. I do the peel off mask procedure and think about the girl who is now a separate person and want to explain that she didn't need to go over the whole drama with the shaving because it can be used as a peel off mask.

After I take off the mask and throw it away, decide that I want to pee, so try to close the door of this public restroom. Actually there are two doors with lots of locks that don't make sense, but I do my best to close and lock them. As I proceed to do my thing, I notice that my hands are dirty with some food leftovers and before I can do anything else see that the room is now being filled with water - no wait, it's soup. I am wearing my old sleepers from 10 years ago and they are getting soaked. I turn to my left and can't believe this is happening, I can actually see how this soup water is leaking through the walls and immediately come up with an explanation for it. There is a food stall and its kitchen is on the wall just behind the restroom. I wonder if I should inform them about the situation.

Fragment: There is a yard that is covered with snow. Initially it is separated by glass fence, then normal fence. I can see cat footprints in the snow, then as I am staring I slowly realize (i.e. unconsciously summon) there is a dead cat/wild cat under the snow. Now there are two cats. The snow melts and one of them moves, I remark that it is alive and expect to see the other one moving as well. I can see it is breathing.

A woman that owns the yard comes by, she has a large fluffy dog that runs around and there are other animals there as well, a cow or a small horse.

Short DILD: I am on bus station in my home town and realize that I am dreaming. Finally, I say to myself. In my mind the bus goes to school and I want to see my friend. I look around but my friend is not on the station (some dream instability here) and there is a bus about to depart so I hurry and get in. I expect to see my friend there and imagine him being one of the passengers. For a minute I see his face but as I move closer it changes to another guy. There's a group of guys sitting there and they are way too loud. I quickly wonder about that (too much DC independence).

I know this is not going to work, but then I remember I can at least call. I try to spot a phone in the guys' hands. They are busy loudly talking to each other and no phone. I move a few seats back and there is something like a display in another guy's hand. I take it and it turns into my bf's phone, how weird is that! Alright, now I am just going to press any button and start the conversation. I press the dial key and check the screen, it goes dark and into some sort of error mode. I repeat a few more times with the same effect. Oh well, I just take the phone to my ear and say my bf's name. I hear a woman's voice replying as if I just asked to talk to my bf, saying he is just going somewhere. I am not sure if I asked or thought about another question, but she also adds a short yes. I decide to ask about the friend I was looking for in the bus. She replies similarly but in past tense. I briefly wonder if this makes any sense.

The woman then proceeds to ask me why am I asking about my friend since I am supposed to know where he is. She mentions the name of an unknown location where we (his friends) often meet. I feel as if I am talking to real person now and wonder what kind of explanation to give, scanning the surroundings looking for an appropriate answer as the dream fades.

@ Xanous if you are reading this, I still plan to give you a call. Gotta work on prospective memory!

Early fragment: something good about a DV member and lds

Dream: me and parents are living in a street shop that is a house. The place also reminds me of a cheap hotel room. I complain about all of us having to share the toilet. I want to do the laundry before we go out. The neighborhood is very bad too.

Fragment: mom wants to play golf because she can't wait for me on fridays?

Fragment: I am examining a large bullet that has been fired already and wonder if it can be used again. Some guys are after me, I run to the top of the building.

late-WBTB&WILD: As I am falling asleep, I expect to see a scene form in the darkness and think about my hands. I appear on a dark street, make a few movements to properly get in and stabilize and then my body begins to float up. I decide to control the flight and will myself to fly up but reach a certain height maybe about two floors high and the float/flying stops and I slowly go down. I wonder why's that and try again with the intention of going to the roof of the building this time. I float up but the dream ends and I need to get up too.

Date: 2 Sept

Pre bed: lecithin

Suspicious early ld fragment: in a room, lucid and talking to a woman with orange hair.

Fragment: something about my mom and me getting up

Fragment: I am a goat and am looking for Angel Falls. I see a fountain and wonder if I could turn this into AF, but find it's not very convenient.

Fragment: Mom has invited relatives

Random fragment: I remember this strange large somewhat non-human human guy being interested in me, trying to keep me somewhere and romantic stuff going on.

LD: I am in the library part of a university building. They are talking about this dark-skinned guy who had 12 kids, but he is only sixteen. There must be some kind of mistake, I think you are referring to his father, this guy is one of the kids. I become lucid, decide to exist the building. There is still some scenario going in the background, some sort of event maybe. My lip gloss is on the floor and I do some TK on it. I want it to fly directly in my hand but it doesn't so I return it and try again until I am able to pull it properly and it lands in my hand. I go out. This is now a mix of buildings from my past. I shortly lose lucidity, looking for a quiet place to take a break. I then recall I have been TKing around and lucid so change direction. The dream starts to fade away and there's nothing I can do about it.

DEILD: I vaguely recall waking up and DEILDing, with the new scene appearing in front of me. Much like those from scratch lds or wilds, I need to hold on to it so that I can fully integrate.

The first thing that catches my attention is a glass full of water and I grasp it for stability. Almost immediately this DC of unpleasant person pain in the butt appears in front of me as well, she moves like a snake and sticks to me like a blanket. I have no interest in staying here so head for the window. Before I do I think I am going to score a few points so think telekinesis and look for something to move. There is a lipstick near the window so I make it fall. Alright.

This DC is still holding on to me and I take a few moments to consider the situation. I know she is a mirror of my thoughts and feelings but how could I not have them. I look at her face and admit I feel aversion. I try to become indifferent. Not sure if I succeed in doing so or my thoughts simply stop for a moment, but this DC unexpectedly lets go of me and drops to the ground remaining motion and expressionless. I realize that she is just an empty phantom projection. The dream fades.

LD: There is some stuff going on that I can no longer recall. I am thinking/doing something lucid initially, but then non-ld scenario distracts me for a bit. They tell me that this friend of mine had posted something on FB about a video! and my other friend also has something to do with it..I can't remember. I see brief images of my friends and the web. I am on something like a flat rooftop, talking to my friend. Awareness level gradually goes up. I know (more on a subcon that con level) that she is no longer with us so I decide to ask her if she is real. Aware that I might influence her answer, I try not to think about it, yet I know that I want her to confirm to me that she is real. I notice her hair, blonder than my expectations, some thoughts about that. Her features slowly change and she looks a bit different but I still treat her like my friend. I ask her a few more times if she is real, but get no answer. I look around a bit, notice some stuff I can't recall, the dream fades.

LD:In the void, I remember I was supposed to look for Xanous, so in spite of the constant feeling that I am about the wake up any moment, I decide I will do that. I concentrate and appear in a room full of people. Room full of people, I remind myself. It is really hard to remember all these dreams already. The room is quite unstable and I hurry forward, looking around to see if I can recognize him among the DCs, also shouting like crazy "Where is Xanous, tell me how to find him", but DCs don't care much. The shouting helps stabilize the dream though. I reach the end of the room or rooms and go outside and see some part of building construction. I don't like the atmosphere outside, it's also high and I don't feel like flying or exploring out there so decide to go back.

The moment I turn my back it looks like some section of a shopping mall, I see a fast food chain and a magazine shop. I am looking at the two from the outside and they are completely separated by a closed door and wall. I try to phase through some sort of glass and handrail barrier to get in the magazine shop, but it changes so I climb the thing and get into the fast food place instead. I go to the counter and order two burgers or something like that. I find it very amusing that I am doing this, they even give me two receipts. There is a typical McDonalds table and I decide I will phase through it, so accelerate towards it and bam! Nothing. I have the feeling that I was thinking at the back of my mind that it is hard object, so I guess that's why I didn't do it. Keep the eyes open thought comes to my mind. Ok, maybe I just look at it too much. I try again and turn the table over, but catch it midair, it is a long table now but the items on it didn't fall out. I feel weird doing a mess at this place and fix the table and stuff as DCs are staring at me.

Somewhat bored now and feeling a bit sexy (actually needed to pee) I decide I might as well have some fun with this DC and go into some sort of sales talk about it. The DC looks at me distressed. Suddenly, I feel very bad about the whole situation thinking "So, I am here, hopping from dream to dream and what do I do - terrorize DCs." I remain in the dream for just a bit more, staring at her and wondering about who she reminds me of as the dream finally fades.

Date: 31st Aug

Pre bed: 200mg valerian, calcium&magnesium

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Comments: The night started not so well, as our guest was leaving and traveling in the middle of the night. No, we are not vampires.

Early mini-ld fragment (+2hrs): I am in our family friends' building, it is dark at night and I am running from the thought of something like an alien that can't be beaten up. As I go up the stairs, the last floor keeps on changing. I become lucid but still involved with the dream, I try to figure a way out of the situation. Our family friends (she and him) also appear up there and there are some thoughts of realization? about them and talking. She then says something rude to me that I wonder how to post on DV.

I wake up, still holding the memory of the dream in my mind, at that time fully accessible, but I soon fall asleep. I am woken up by our guest's alarm and we all get up, I have a very hard time falling asleep later. I go into unmemorable sleep for hours.

Fragment: I am angry and break a coffee cup

Fragment: I think I was trying to hook to a dream since I recall doing some repetitive movements in the scene and then the dream fading and I briefly acknowledge this in bed.

Pre ld fragment: I am about the witness a heartbreaking family reunion scene

Pre ld dream: We are in the tram/bus and this woman gives us some brochures with specific info about a female criminal. Nobody knows what this is about just me and my friend. Later on, I am in our old place and want to discuss the stuff with possibly my mom. However, before I do that, a classmate of mine gets me alone in another room, insisting to know what's this all about. I tell him I have no idea and get out the room. I see that he has some spy sound amplifying equipment and I go to my room and look for a some paper to write to mom that he is listening to us. He is also lurking behind the door. I grab a notebook and try to hide it from him.

LD: I am on the street in front of our old home and as I look around, realize this is a dream. I decide I would try to speed fly down the street. I take off and fly at high speed, but the street is not quite straight and I initially have difficulty taking a turn and get off track, then do a bit of maneuvering slightly similar to turning while swimming and am fast flying on the street again. It feels great but the only problem now is I move faster than my expectations so it's a bit uncertain what's in front of me. The street changes to facilitate that and now all I can see is trees on both sides moving closer together and I aim to fly straight in the center of all this.

I slow down, pass through the trees and end up facing something like a lake in the middle of an unknown neighborhood. I briefly wonder whether this would count for summon for the competition. There are houses and buildings to the left. I fly over the lake, feeling as if I am running out of fuel and try to land near the houses/buildings. There is a tall wall that separates them from the lake and I am looking for the right spot. I barely make it to the top of the wall with flying near a house that I like. I take a moment to relax and think about my next steps. The place where I have landed is not part of the wall anymore, but is the top of some structure, as if I am sitting on a chimney. I also perceive this thought as the image of the shadow of me on top of this place, right in front of me. The idea that I get rid of my human shape and jump/float ahead comes to mind.

Before I do anything, I take a look around and see that now am standing on an old bridge where there are the remains of large elephant statues in Indian style as part of the structure. They are extremely beautiful, decorations carved in the stone. I look at another one in front of me and see a date 1995, try to memorize it and as I stare at it the 5 changes into 7. I feel it's not a very good idea to keep staring like this as this may destabilize the dream. I remember CL's tech of boosting dream vividness and want to do that and enhance stability as well. I turn around and now there is a small elephant statue in front of me, so I run fingers on its surface and pat the stone a few times.

Right behind the elephant statue is a street that leads to a small plaza with yet another magnificent statue that I am not sure of what but there is an element that looks like wings with bits of gold on the edges/wing waves. There are lots of kids on the street, I notice they are dark skinned, assume they are Indian. A little girl with short hair and present day clothes comes to me and I decide I will engage in a conversation with her and concentrate as much as possible on that and her features (as if rl). She looks at me smiling, one of the happiest DCs I have ever seen. There is something about that little girl which fills me with both joy and sadness and I ask her "Is this where souls live?", she says yes and goes on that I also live here with her and shows me a building (perhaps close to Italian city style) to my right. She says we live together on the first floor. I am not sure I like living on the first floor, but accept this at the moment as I am very curious to see where I live.

The dream ends and I find myself in bed, contemplating whether to try a DEILD but my nose itches plus I am not very sure I want to mess up this memory. Time to wake up...

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

Total sleep time: 5 1/2hrs, external factors, very tired

Early fragment: many iPhones

Early fragment: I am talking to someone about how I'm about to ld

Woken up, WBTB, insomnia

Fragment: some sort of toy head that is spinning in the water

LD fragment: I am in our old place and see lots of people on the stairs, including an older lady who passed away years ago. After seeing her, it dawns on me that it's a dream. I make a sound to acknowledge the fact that I recognize her as a dream sign (also for the first time!). Not sure if I said something or not to her or others there, but I head down the stairs and exit the building. I think about visiting my friend but this time decide to go to his work since it's really close.

I am on the street now, but feel that the dream is starting to destabilize, so take a moment to fix that. I remember the behave as if real life, but can't figure out how to apply this at the moment. Instead, I turn back to where the fence is and start touching the stone, feeling the surface. It doesn't do the trick and I feel I have very little time left so I just observe whatever is in front of me as I see and feel the dream as if made of liquid energy (same image but like underwater) being gently sucked in an unknown direction until it turns to a light feeling in my head and I find myself in bed..

DEILD: I remain still and fall asleep more from being tired than from trying to DEILD. Yet, I end up in an ld that I unfortunately no longer can recall. Not very nice but it happens.

LD: After the previous dream fades, I find myself in darkness, but it's actually a room. It takes a while but then I can see just a bit better to orientate myself, confirm by the feel of it that this is a dream and that I am in our place. I am slightly amazed since I don't get many lds here. I go to the living room and decide I will phase out the window and press myself against it. However, it feels way too solid, I know I can do it and refuse to believe it's not working so push myself forward. Nothing. I become confused, thinking I may actually be sleepwalking around the house. I decide to go out the good old fashioned way - through the door. I am thinking about doing a quick review of the dreams so that I don't forget. A guy appears in front of me, sitting on the couch. He is quite a good mirror of my thoughts and emotions. Initially, he looks menacing, but as I contemplate what to do here and have a moment of sexy thoughts, he immediately becomes more appealing, making gestures with his hands "come here". Then I tell myself to calm down, inhale exhale metaphorically, sit and relax and he stares at me neutrally.

I am thinking something about the previous dream and wonder if I have performed some tricks to enhance this dream's stability. I wonder if I tried to go to bed in the dream as a way to change the scene and since I feel kind of stuck here, I decide that I will try to do that now. As I go to sleep, the guy lies behind me, pretending he is falling asleep too. I fidget way too much, also get a few moments of are my eyes open or closed, and don't try to open them, until I finally succeed to move my physical leg and wake up.

I woke up but couldn't takes notes on time as I involuntarily fell asleep again.

Dinner: included 3 eggs

Pre bed: 3mg mel

Total sleep time: 6 hrs, lots of insomnia

Early fragment: thinking about ld, this was one of these FA things where you remember a previous lucid then wake up and can't recall anything. Suspicious.

Fragment: I am in our first home and look at some expensive according to mom shoes that she has ordered from India for my aunt. Then she shows me a coat that she has bought. She tries the coat with a handbag and asks me if I like them. The handbag is very ugly and green.

Micro-ld: Near neighbor's entrance and I make place for some people to come in. There is a Japanese breed dog and it starts licking my palm, it licks and licks, I can't detach myself from it. When I finally do, it falls on the ground with a bound of sadness. I am thinking it got so much positive emotion out of licking, it now feels devastated. It tries to get to my hand again and I feel disgusted and want to wash. There are two-three girls, we are going up to wash, one of them is naked, but her breasts are not there, just weird nipples.

The dream skips forward and now we are in a large hall where people receive awards. The girl is part of four of the nominee teams, which are small island countries and Japan. A guy announces his name on the microphone. Then, I see a classmate of mine and wonder what the hell is she doing here. (She randomly appears in dreams). I decide to do a RC and stand up from my chair, saying RC and raising my hand to examine it in a very conspicious manner. My classmate looks at me and replies RC. This looks so nutty, I am fully convinced it's a dream. I can't recall much else, just that I decide to get out of there, but the dream fades and I am back in my bed. I lay still for a DEILD.

DEILD: I appear in an apartment at night in the shower cabin. In the dream I recall about me wanting to behave like this is real life and know that if I do that, it will stabilize the dream. Therefore, I do my best to pretend that this is real life, take a shower, examine the showerhead, carefully trying to simulate proximity to real life. I even use a towel to dry myself. I decide I want to visit my friend, but look in the mirror and see I am wearing only a short T-shirt. I certainly don't want to appear like this in front of him, if I think about my attire when meeting him, but decide it will change by itself as I go along. I have no clue where he lives irl, so decide to try to go to school and see if he is there.

Currently on the fourth- fifth floor, I hang on to the curtain and swing forwards, it elongates and transports me down perfectly. I am in our old neighborhood and need to walk to school although it's quite a risky idea. Slightly above the ground, I do the the curtain swing again, even though nothing is holding the curtain and I know that but don't care. It's pretty effective and I am going fast. I do my best to hold the image of the street as stable as possible. I pass quite a distance for a dream, curtain swinging at tree level, stepping on each tree as I end each swing. It is daytime now. :yumdumdoodledum:

At the end of the street, the trees and buildings begin to lose shape and become a white flowing background. I slow down a bit and the street is back again. I reach a small garden and notice a large war memorial that is not there irl, but the place still looks kind of familiar.

Then, as I move forward, I interrupt my concentration of holding the dream/images and think that CL flies a lot and that maybe that would have been a better option, since I am taking too much dream time. Yet, I reply to myself, that would involve imagining flying over the specific area I need to go and may actually be harder for me. These thoughts take just a moment, yet this is enough for my control over the scene to wane and the scene in front of me changes. It is a smooth change, but it is no longer where I am supposed to be going. I try to go back and change it to the specific location, by turning my back on it and checking it again. It changes again but now it's like a totally different city with an old castle up on the hill. I feel saddened I am not going to make it to my friend and take a turn to the left.

The street changes again and is now a familiar one from my hometown and it leads to school too. Among the crowd, I notice a very unpleasant person from rl and a pain in ass in non-lds. Her eyes look very lively and I feel her aggression. She also says something that's supposed to be irritating to me and I can hear her voice quite well, even though she is not that close. I don't pay attention to what exactly she says but can clearly smell trouble. I wonder how did she appear here among the crowd of DCs walking down the street, I didn't think about her. I begin to worry about her but turn my back, reminding myself that if you don't think about it, it doesn't exist. Yet, I can still feel her presence behind me. I speed up, now flying low above the ground. She is behind me and I feel an upcoming confrontation that I prefer to avoid, so I wake myself up.

I take brief notes and end up with insomnia.

Fragment: I am in a room and there are masks that one wears underwater, but they don't really exist irl. Bf and dream friends come in the room and we talk about something. The water has been running so I turn it off, then this girl looks at where all the water has been going, somewhere underground. There are huge fish there and also normal ones, they expect to be given food.

Fragment: something about bf's mom and food, there are poppy flowers nearby.

LD Fragment: This was a nice, average to long ld, but mostly remember the last part of it as I involuntarily fell back asleep.

I don't feel well, nasty pain, I stop and ask these DCs to tell me what is wrong with me. Something about their appearance strikes me as odd, so I become lucid. I think I ask them how to get better or something.

No memory what happens next, I have been doing stuff in this apartment, talking to DCs, free-styling.

I remember looking myself in a mirror and noticing that I look really nice. I like my dream make up very much and try to memorize it so that I put it the same way irl. I also have some thoughts about trying to manipulate my body in a certain way and see if there is an effect irl.

I go to another room and look at the cupboard, notice a beautiful china milk jug with blue decorations but feel mischievous, so decide to use TK to make it fall down. It falls on the floor and then gets on the the chair in front of me, broken in two. Now, I feel sad and want to repair it. I also think it will be a cool skill to repair things and even have a false memory of repairing something. I try to fit the pieces together and hold them, but it doesn't work. I hear a buzzing sound and me and DCs in the room see some sort of a wasp, maybe twice the normal size and completely brown and shiny. I decide it's time to get out of there and head for the window. There is a beige mosquito net on the window and I try to phase through it but meet some resistance. I remind myself that I can do it and push forward. The net stretches a bit and finally I pass through and fall/fly down.

This part was very pleasant but I don't recall all of it. Basically, I end up flying low over a yard that transforms to meadow with different wild flowers, mostly yellow ones, as the late September sun shines down on the meadow. Absolute beauty and I remain with the scene for as long as I can until the dream finally fades.

Fragment:I end up in another dream for a brief while, making profane gestures with hands.

Woke up happy, fell asleep again, had another short dream I can't recall. Then woke up very worried as I had forgotten the most of the last ld.

Date: 25th Aug

Pre bed: Gingko, Q10, peppermint oil capsule

Total sleep time: 7 1/2 hrs

Dream quality and recall: Vivid, bright colors, some positive moments, some annoying ones, evading recall

Fragment: Some kind of reddish cliffs (similar to AF, but no water)

Fragment: We are in school and there is some activity all of us are participating in. There are mostly sweaters on the desks with numbers on each pile. Each student is assigned a number and we are supposed to take the pile with our number somewhere.

Dream: I meet my special friend and he is very friendly. We sit somewhere and he tells me all kinds of details about his life. Later on, I am at our old home and I can see him in the building in front of ours as he calls me on the phone. I pick up and my voice is barely coming out, I excuse myself but I know the reason is that I am feeling this strange way again...We arrange to meet.

I wake up super happy, but sleepy and decide I will just review in head instead of taking notes.

Dream: I am with my friend again. He is involved with an organization that brings poachers to the top of a hill, but the activity stops after they are discovered. There are no consequences for him. Later we are somewhere talking and he tells me he is working for some sort of zoo. I can't believe it! I actually think this must be fate that he is working for a zoo and I like animals so much. As he tells me about the zoo, I begin seeing images of animals, he says they have over a hundred pandas there and I reply that's impossible, then contemplate on the structure of the place.

We go in this place which has a classical history exhibition. There are huge statues of Greek gods and special effects in each hall. The two I remember are different type of rain that is falling down in the rooms, one next to a statue of Zeus. I worry about my hairstyle due to the rain. We continue our tour and my bf appears to my left. My friend is holding my hand and I wonder about this, he has a gf and we are very good friends in dreams. Three of us stop in a corridor and my friend makes some remarks about us that seem to make my bf jealous. He also comments on his temper. I didn't expect my friend to behave like this and move closer to my bf, each guy is separated by his own window frame.

Fragment: I am in front of grandma and bf's mom who looks like a mix of a teacher of mine and unknown people is recommending some dates for me to travel. I don't want to do this. There was something else as well, I can't remember. My classmate appears and makes a few jokes that improve my mood. Then we are all supposed to listen to the anthem but I couldn't care less. People disapprove of my behavior.

Dream: FA, I am journalling about the previous dream, trying to put the dates from the previous dream down, but the calendar is missing the dates. In the meantime, bf is behind me reading the journal and I feel a bit embarrassed.

Dream: Grandma is sleeping and I am sleeping on her, she changes positions, and I am careful not to wake her up. I have a look at her legs and think about how well she always looked. Then see some veins and other stuff and wonder about age. There is some sort transparent plastic bra/shirt that is filling with blood and I tell grandma who is now awake to take it off. My dad comes to help drain the blood off the device. It looks more like passata and we get into a discussion about what exactly is going on. We have to smell the stuff, now in a cup to confirm what it is, it smells like chicken broth.

LD: I am in my other grandma's kitchen and become lucid. There's a smart looking DC, blond hair, bright clothes, and I say a few words to him. My mind is kind of foggy as I can't remember any tasks I am supposed to be doing. I ask him for help with advanced TOTM and he looks pretty confident and starts walking around supposedly to show me what I should do. I can't remember the advanced task at all! I rely on him to tell me and he says something like "fire". Hmmm, I know there was something related to fire, but still can't remember, was it burn someone's house down or what? I am not sure I want to do this.

Anyways, I move to the next room, which exists only in dreams, it's full of brightly colored objects and number of DCs but I don't take a closer look. I finally remember I have to do the three step task for the competition. Phase. No, interact with DC, ok, already did that. Next one is phase, keep your eyes open. There is a wall but I don't want to go through it as I may end up in the void, so I decide to go through the glass door just next to it. The patterns on the door are such that one only vaguely sees the room and stuff behind it. Keep the eyes open, I remind myself and push forward. As I do, the blurred shapes behind the glass door become sharper in front of my eyes as I get in the room. Absolutely cool effect, I am thinking! I recall CL's enhancing dream vividness tech too, but am not sure how to proceed about it. The dream is quite vivid and stable anyways.

Now in the room, I see two Korean women reading a newspaper. I have a look at what's written there and think about how I am going to describe it. It looks like Korean, yet it isn't as the letters as different. I am beginning to feel exhausted, some sort of weakness plus heaviness in the head, so decide to move on. What was I supposed to do next? Advanced summon, I am thinking about summoning something extraordinary. I am looking out the window while I do this, see the skyline of some unknown city. The idea was to summon Angel Falls, but I feel like dream control is very hard in this place. Yet, the moment I think about the waterfall, right in front of my eyes and in the distance of the city appears a large structure of falling water. I concentrate on it and start manipulating it to make it Angel Falls but get something like a long protruding towards me half of a bridge and the water turns to shredded material that is waving in the wind in my direction.

I am still not sure whether that counts as advanced summon, so look in the other direction where there are yellow trees and see if I can make some special effects appear there. I almost zoom out of the room as I do that, but the dream seems to be fading away so I go back the way I entered and head to the living room. This place still has the layout of my grandma's place. As I go down the corridor, I hear a roar-like sound and think to self "Nooo", anticipating an unpleasant surprise. I cautiously approach the living room only to see an old slightly overweight Thai man trying to fall asleep on the couch. His wife is also there talking to him. He tells me something about me having eat to the fish he cooked and being offended. There's a small piece of fish next to a piece of carrot on the chair and I taste it, tastes like poached salmon. I then go into the kitchen thinking what to do now, having the impression this dream is generally very stable and control might be hard. I compare this to sivanson's cities in the astral and wonder if this is something similar where they might have imposed restrictions on gravity. The dream slowly fades.

I wake and rush to take notes.

Pre bed: Gingko

Dream quality and recall: quite vivid, average recall, positive mood from dreams

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs

Early fragment (+3 hrs): I am in the darkness and notice something is going on, and get the vague idea I'm in a dream. It all happens too fast as my bf is actually hugging me in his sleep and I wake up. Hug to ld!

Dream: I am in the yard of a similar to previous dreams house in the suburbs. I like these houses a lot. There are many animals, cow, horses and others I can't recall and they all start running from something leaving the place. The two horses finally calm down, they easily jump over the fence of the place and come back in the yard. Soon, a bear comes and I climb on the roof until he's gone. There is a guy sitting on the porch smoking cigarette that looks like Oz the great and powerful. I know he is in love with me and he tells me he gives me one week to decide whether I want to be with him or not. I tell him "no" straight away and that I can't.

Fragment: This kid that I don't like very much is coming to someone's place. It's as if we are supposed to take care of him. There are many DCs in the apartment. We talk about food. Later, some guys are playing with race cars in the living room, it's my turn and I have to drive using a joystick.

Fragment: I am talking to this guy who reminds me of Robert (Cillian Murphy) from Inception. We discuss economic growth.

Fragment: I am buying a ticket online

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Pre bed: nada

Dream quality and recall: average vividness, deep sleep and challenging recall

Comment: there was an increase in emotions during daytime, which is evident in the dream as well.

Early fragment: some story about dreaming and accounting for lds

Dream: I am waiting for the train, then get on it. A friend of mine is supposed to sit next to me but goes in the other carriage instead. I am taking my shoes off, white socks. The guy next to me is already asleep. Then the perspective changes and I see four of them - friends dining together (without me). I become enraged and show them the finger. They raise their glasses and so do I. My shirt now has wine stain that I try to clean with a cloth, but the cloth is dirty so it gets worse. Then I remember that I can use bread and ham to clean it, just like my dad did. I also take a bite out of my "detergent".

Fragment: A girl from my class is attracted to me and is kissing me. Later the class meets and I have some concerns about her kissing me in front of others. (I don't even like her irl)

WBTB (+had some anxiety thoughts initially)

Mini-ld: I have a FA at home with the person I was thinking about in the beginning of the WBTB. He irritates me and I become angry shouting at him. I realize this is a dream (I read something about karma and emotions during dreams yesterday). My anger vanishes and I make a remark about this. I go on to leave the building. Unfortunately, I don't remember if I phased or how I got outside, just that I was trying to fly down. So I am on a balcony or window and want to fly down the way the girl does in the end of Crouching tiger Hidden dragon, slowly. I succeed in controlling the speed of the flying till I reach the ground, then I go up again. I think I woke up soon after that.

No notes, went back to sleep.

Mini-ld fragment: I am in an unfamiliar room and there is a man in front of me and suddenly I shout at him my anxiety thoughts. Again, I realize this is a dream, I am quite happy I was able to catch this again. I apologize, the man smiles. Unfortunately, I can't recall anything else, the dream ends with the void. I shortly try to summon Angel Falls, but the position which I am imagining myself is making me feel uncomfortable. The images fade away.

Mini-ld: I am on the street but feel like my dream control is not working very well because everybody is walking towards me daringly. A dog charges at me and I start some sort of thought/control manipulation to stop it, but in the end grab it and put it on my shoulder/head and neutralize it. Three female DCs are bothering me, I have no idea what they want. I remember I can escape from them by flying, so I fly just a bit above them. However, they can still reach me and I am coming down against my will. I only know one other way to deal with them and ask them if this is what they want. They say yes and I rip one of the girls' clothes off. I wake up before any censure is necessary.

Fragment: Thus guy I know is giving an interview for the newspaper

Date: 17th Aug

Pre bed: SJW, 100 mg B6

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Dream quality and recall: vivid, some stability issues, evading recall

Non-ld: I am in the place I used to live before. There are problems with the lock and I am trying to avoid my new neighbors. Once again, I am staying here only temporary and prepare my stuff to leave the next day...

WBTB:I got woken up, decided to use as WBTB, repeated mantra a few times, distractions again.

LD1: I finally fall asleep and find myself on the street of the same town from my past, near the post office. There is also a bear there. A bear? Lucid. I don't pay any more attention to the bear but on its place two large dogs appear, behaving menacingly. I just want to go forward and stretch my hands, as if feeling the dream/wind or whatever but the dogs bite my hand. The biting causes a strange sensation of burning pain, I struggle to get rid of the dogs. As they won't go away, I decide to ask the rest of the DCs for help. There are lots of DCs passing by on the nearby street and I start calling for help, but nobody pays me any attention. However, the moment I start asking for help those dogs get out of my sight and disappear. I look at the DCs which are like a school of fish, silently passing by, many of them having dogs on leashes, small to big ones different breeds. It looks absolutely insane.

I have no idea what happened, but now I am in a dark room, no sign of DCs or dogs. I finally remember that one way to deal with scary creatures is to transform into something scarier or at least powerful, so I decide I would do the tiger transformation. I get on the floor and first of all hear coming from me a slightly muffled but tiger's roar which I actually didn't mean to do. Then I try to feel my legs, but I kind of concentrate on my human body too much, so the transformation is only half done. I can't see much of my limbs to confirm if they are human or animal ones, just feel that I am stuck in the middle of the process and want to look in some reflective surface to check what's going on. My mood goes quite bad as I get bored doing this and wonder what to do next but the dream ends.

Micro-ld: I am on a ferry type of boat, on the upper deck that is open. It also reminds me of all these city boat tours they offer at various places I have been to with my mom. My mom is also there telling me to be careful, so I hold on to the rail. It is quite cold so I get out my blanket. I notice that the sky is covered with dark clouds which are much closer to the boat than they are supposed to be. I hold on even tighter and then see that a tornado has formed in the distance. I get a very convincing false memory that I recently had a dream about this? and now am seeing it irl. There's something about this whole thing and the tornado so I become lucid. In the meantime the driver of the boat moves us closer to the river bank and allows the passengers to disembark safely. I look at the tornado with interest and decide I will try to avoid it by going to the subway station where it has no reach. (I'd say my mind was kind of foggy for ld). I immediately reach a subway passage but before I get in, I have another look at the tornado. It is huge and partially turns into some sort of drilling machine as I stare at it. It also comes closer. I decide it's time to quit playing and go underground and figure out what to do from there.

I have no idea or rather memory what happened, it seems like the dream ended, I briefly lost consciousness then on to the next dream.

LD2: I am in the yard of our old neighborhood and bf is making some kind of sex-related remarks. I ignore him and bf just leads the way towards the street. I notice that both of us are barefoot and concentrate on the feeling, while getting a mix of false and true memories.

At this point I become lucid and we continue towards the fence. As I get there, I see some animals again. A medium size dog that is coming towards me and also a cat, then two more cats appear. I get the feeling that all these animals are attracted to/by me and think that this is becoming very similar to OB's issue with the blankets. I try to make make them go away, making funny movements with my hands. Then I succeed in turning them against each other. This is a very entertaining sight although I do feel slightly guilty doing this, now the cat has turned into a kitten and is wrestling the dog. They are more in some sort of confrontation than real fight but I am amazed that I am actually controlling their movements. After my sense of wonder/amusement subsides, I leave them and move on down the street, bf with me.

I go over some tasks but am reluctant to engage in something that will destabilize the dream too much. However, the moment I think about Angel Falls, I notice the sound of running/falling water from a nearby yard. In my mind, I know that's something else, but I think it can be used to summon Angel Falls. So what I do is I turn my back on the yard and the sound, concentrate on it and start walking backwards towards it, expecting AF to be there. Bf is holding my hands as I am walking backwards and the dream turns void-like, mostly I see darkness behind me as I walk. I am slightly worried that I might stumble upon some unexpected object but then remind myself that there is really nothing there.

I slowly turn and check the result. This is not our neighborhood anymore, but it is still the yard of some people and there are lots of watery things there. Hard to describe, two fountains/geysers, puddles of water, also water randomly springing and running over the place. The yard abruptly ends and I see small amounts of water running down the stone edge, which gives me some hope. As I look down I see that the next level is about two floors below and there is an inland beach. I also check out the surroundings and see that beyond that inland beach is a valley with trees and the sea at the end of it.

I feel that I won't have the time to go to the sea and chose to use the inland beach for the advanced TOTM. There also small kids there, something like sand and rocks near the water. It is quite high and as I finally gather the courage and prepare to jump in the water, the dream ends.

Date: 11 Aug

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Total sleep time: 6 1/2 hrs?

Natural wakes: many, got up on 5 to pee, drink water, take notes. Also lots of micro-awakenings where it took me some time to fall asleep. Noises from neighbors and early morning arrangements of others woke me up too.

Dream quality and recall: Very vivid dreams, some stability issues. Recall was challenging, forgot two lds, but then I recalled them, pffuuu. One suspicious also.

Early dream (+2 hrs after bed): I had the impression there might have been something lucid here, but sleep was so deep, I have no idea, it was quite vivid though.

Dream: some kind of tower, bf, something forbidden? (why didn't I write a whole sentence?)

Dream: this was a crazy dream, not very pleasant but interesting. The part I remember involved me getting to a window, where some kind of deadly poisonous gas is working. I am unprepared (compared to others) to deal with this gas and do some maneuvers to avoid it, while it's coming straight at me. I think I am trying to open the window as well. I notice that small wounds begin to appear on my hands from the gas. For once, they almost look ok, not too bad, but I am naturally worried about them. At the same time, I am fascinated that I feel no pain despite my exposure to the gas. (That was pretty close!)

DILD1: I go out in some kind of yard and want to sit on the stone wall. There are two teenagers there that plan to make out, so I move not to interrupt them and go sit on another fence. Soon they go back to the entrance and I hear an electricity shock. I think that a bad guy has done something to them and is now coming in the yard, so I look for a place to hide. I evaluate a few hideouts but decide I will be discovered so better leave now. The main idea is to get as far away as possible, while still able to observe the guy.

As I make my way through yard after yard, I get this familiar feeling. I have been running like this in a lot of my dreams. Semi-lucid, I continue on my way, climbing fences, going far enough. Then I finally reach a block, which I start to climb as if it is a tree. No matter where I step or reach there is always something to hold on to, like a balcony, the window etc. I finally reach the top of the building, which is like 5-6 floors and sit there to contemplate. It is not very easy to keep balance as I am holding on to some unstable part of the building. At this point, I also reach a much better clarity of mind. I look around and see all kinds of junk around me. I either become worried about stability and the dream becomes unstable or the other way around. I wait and things improve somewhat and I get the weird idea that I will turn this building top into the top of Angel Falls then jump, but I feel the need to have something stable below me to start with. It's a bit like I am sitting on a wobbly chair on top of pile of crap right now.

I look to my left and see that a beautiful river is flowing through the nearby part of neighborhood. There is also a small waterfall in the middle of it, too small, but inspiring enough. I want to go down there, I have no idea how and where I but get and reach to this branch and once again use the tree branch swinging method of moving. I swing forward and land exactly where I wanted to - down where the river is. I start thinking about turning this into Angel Falls. The river starts to change and at some point I find myself right in the middle of it, observing how the now dark water flows down a slope. There are dark rocks as well, and the current is way too fast, so I feel kind of uncomfortable being in the water. Somehow though I am dry and not moving with the current? This is not quite like what it is supposed to be and I concentrate on the landscape to cut off the water and make it flow into an abyss just ahead of me. Despite my efforts the river changes just a bit. I get it, it is just not working right now and I also become tired so give up. The thought quickly flashes that I might try to turn the end of the river flow into a beach, but now lack the mood for that. I begin reviewing other tasks I have memorized but the the dream ends just as I go through them.

I am now in my bed and a bit pissed off that the dream didn't just continue into another scene, and I have so much awareness of my body. I nevertheless remain still, nervously waiting until something like a proper DEILD happens.

DILD2: The beginning of this is very vague. I think I just appeared somewhere and held on to this DC for stabilization. The next thing I know, the dream is much more stable and I am walking down the street with the male DC to my left, holding his hand in a friendly way (I think this is the stabilization residual). I am quite happy and for some reason conclude this is Xanous. I can't remember much of this part of the dream, just that we walk down the street of a European looking town, talking about something. OB is also involved either in my thoughts or mentioned in the conversation.

We are facing a closed metal gate plus fence and the male DC turns to the left to go the part where there is no fence at all. I then tell him, why don't we just phase through the fence, this is a dream after all. So, we go back and walk straight through the fence. I easily pass as if there is nothing there at all, but the DC has a bit of difficulty going through, he emerges but it looks like it has caused him some discomfort. I feel guilty for making him do this and begin apologizing. He doesn't look much like Xanous at this point - brown hair and wider face, but it's him in my mind. He seems quite independent for a DC, but that may be just me. We then continue our walk through the city.

At some point, I feel the dream is beginning to destabilize, but I don't want to share it with Xanous as not to mess his stability or something like that. I just walk further forward, rubbing my hands and hop walking for a while. The dream stabilizes and I am really happy about it. He is to my left again, this time with copper hair and tall. I start talking and notice how clear my voice sounds. But even as I talk, I almost immediately forget everything I say. The only thing I remember is "do you think this will work out" and point at me and him? Then I feel embarrassed this might be understood the wrong way and add "I mean this shared dreaming thing". I finally remember that I was supposed to do a gesture and share the passcode but before I could do anything the dream ends.

Micro-ld: I am back in a town of my past, in the place I used to live. Bf is also there. The thought that I am not supposed to be there anymore crosses my mind, but I come up with the explanation that I am now just visiting the town? I look around in the room and conclude that everything looks like it is real life and not like in dreams where there are all kinds of objects that don't really belong to this room, even though it really doesn't. I see that the windows are very dirty and this makes me think that the neighbors have been throwing drinks from McDonalds at the windows. Soon I see the neighbors throwing drinks. I want to threaten them with the police, but fear revenge, so decide just to call the cops to get them. I also complain to bf about it.

It looks like we are leaving the place next day (Sunday) and I need to take some stuff. I can't remember much detail here, but I look around the place, and there are neatly arranged flowers in the yards nearby, which look similar to dreams about the place I had and not real life.

Then I am in the city center, maybe doing last min shopping, I have no idea. On one of the familiar streets, I look inside a strangely shaped car and see a guy with semi-finished and a purple? demonic face. He gives me an evil look and I become lucid and begin to sway the car back and forth, my intention is to lift it and move it, which I do. I make it turn over and leave it like that for a moment, thinking about some more mischief. In the meantime it changes color and shape. I have the strong desire to try to lift the car as high as possible and then send it flying in the air like a balloon. I concentrate on it and lift it quite high but there is some resistance, I send thoughts that all of the people on the street are also doing this task which makes it easier. I am holding the car in the air for quite a while, until it becomes harder, but I still keep my gaze on it. It has become a round large piece of smashed black metal that is dissolving /dematerializing in the air. Witnessing the dissolution of the object is very interesting, it happens gradually and the object loses its physical properties, becoming more of an energy and I also see aura-like glow around the edges - green and red. The dream ends.

I wake up, think briefly about the ld and then fall asleep which makes me forget it. Noises, distractions and final sleep attempts.

Micro-ld: I can't remember the beginning of the dream/let. There is a very interesting sun clock in the sand of some sort of a pot in the park. I am playing with the sand, thinking about lucidity and stabilization? Then I continue walking down the lane when a DC guy looks me with some sort of irritation and I become lucid. I realize that I am finally in the dream as if just entered a dreamlet and feel very floating/unstable. For some reason, I keep repeating my DSs as a mantra and also grab the guy's T-shirt and move along with him, but he wants to move on his own so he is staring at me annoyed. I let him go and see my mom ahead of me, carrying flashlight which is on and the light looks more like the ray of sun shining on all the dust in the park. Very cool effect. The dream falls apart and I wake up.

Comments: I am happy on this occasion there wasn't too much B6 related agression with the exception of a few bad looks from DCs which helped me achieve lucidity.

Date: 6th Aug

Pre bed: gingko, 1 capsule p. oil (200mg)

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Natural wakes: 2?, I was way too sleepy to do a proper WBTB and actually attempted to convince myself to forget about lucidity and just sleep.

Dream quality and recall: due to my extra sleepiness, I didn't care too much about recalling, and I'd say recall for the ld was more challenging as it was quite long and also interrupted two times.

Dream length: It felt very long and at the end of the dream I started forgetting some details.

Pre ld dream: I am in grandma and auntie's place with 3 friends and we are preparing to go to grandma and auntie's? I am very slow packing, as I can't find my hair brush. There are lots of hair brushes around the place but none of them is mine. I go to the bathroom and look in the mirror, I have just dyed my hair but don't like the hairstyle. I focus on my teeth. One tooth looks very wrong and not like a tooth at all. I get some pasta/tortellini out of my mouth and into the sink, turn the water on and hope it disappears before my friends come to check on me.

DILD: The earliest event that I remember is that we, maybe 3 of us, are being chased by these guys riding horses. Therefore, we have to flee. The narrator of the dream (or my mind) says something about one of them having to cross a bridge. While this happens, I cross the bridge. Interestingly, it is more like a street covered in water going to yard-like greenery.

So, I cross this watery bridge and end up in a section with water and lots of green grass and trees all around me. The problem is there is something that is preventing you from normally moving there, there are desert type of mice, very small but dangerous. I think this is where I become lucid, but since I am very sleepy, my thinking is not at its best, so I go along with the dream. The mice look cute, but keep on biting me and I have nowhere to go. As I stand there, slightly desperate that I am stuck in this place, I remember that I can modify the dream and escape the water/bitting mice trap. I simply turn to my other side and see where I can go.

There are strange ropes arranged into I have no idea what. Other DCs are using them to get out of there and safely cross (possibly over the water). The ropes look too thin to be able to carry our weight (yes, my brain is very asleep), but I still go balancing on these strange ropes, and also there are wooden beams below them on which we walk while holding to the ropes. As I do that, I notice small insects on the beams below, but they are mostly ladybugs and other harmless ones.

My memory is really bad, I know there were two blackouts, but I can't remember at what point the one occurred.

I am in the middle of the hill with the greenery and my initial goal is to move away from the biting mice, but then I just want to go down the hill. The sight gets more beautiful as I see a fantastic beach with clear green water at the end.

If I am not mistaken, I try flying to speed things up, but after ascending a bit, I quickly land in some sporadic water that appears along the way. As I do so, my body submerges in the water, I try swimming but have a void-like moment and as I emerge above the water my sight disappears. No! It's totally black around me, but maybe because it was so unexpected I can still feel the dream around me. I think that I am blind like Xanous, and remember to just relax and wait. I hear a woman talking next to me, so I concentrate on her voice and hold on to it. I may have said something to her as well. Soon the dream comes back and my sight returns, things are back to normal.

I am now inside a small house on the same hill and this DC woman is with me. I look around but the only thing I remember is some sort of pillow with the name of bf's high school on it. Then I examine the DC woman, maybe in her late forties or early fifties, with short ginger hair and brown eyes. I say something to her and look her in the eyes, expecting an answer. As I do that, she freezes in place, and her eyes are like those of a scared pray animal. I think that I don't want to cause any more distress so I let go of her and just leave her be. She then animates again and with expectations I make her laugh, so she laughs. All good. If she wants she can come with me down the hill. But I am so concentrated on the landscape, I forget about her.

I see brief glimpses of the beach, and then more trees and greenery, but at least I know it's there and am very close now. I continue my way down the hill and reach a part where it is very high, but I am almost there as I see the shifting beach/houses/yards. Here a habit from my non-lds comes in very handy. I see lots of trees in front of me, so I just hold on to a branch, and move forward with it. My desire to reach my destination makes those branches swing way beyond what they are supposed to and there is always another branch waiting for me to get on to. Swinging from one branch to another, some of which extremely fragile and with flowers on them, I make it down to the beach.

Somewhere along the way, I remember the advanced TOTM which I didn't plan of doing, but may as well try. I briefly think that this dream has been going on for quite a while and I am already starting to forget it. I look to the beach in front of me, but now instead of the yellow sand and light green water, the sand is grey and the water is dark. I try to change the color of the sand, but it remains grey. I notice how violently the waves crash and the water moves. Never seen anything like this and I have no intention of going in and trying to turn into a shark under these conditions. So, I decide to wait until things improve, and find a spot on the beach where by the way the sand is turning more yellowish. I lie on the sand and think about how I am going to turn into a shark and then maybe go in the water. I try to feel my fins and my shark body (kind of big and bloated) but the dream ends.

Comment: Now that I think about it, the location was also very good for Angel Falls or China...

Date: 5th Aug

Total sleep time: 7 hrs<

Pre bed: Calcium&Magn, 100mg B6

Natural wakes: 6x, vivid dreams after each, lazy to record, also mislaid notebook

Early dream(+3 hrs?): a memory of a lucid, where I didn't do anything in particular? We were gathered on street around a fountain/pillar?

Dream: An emotional personal dream with a rather unpleasant outcome. Sadness and anger.

Dream: Sitting on the table of a local cafe. My high school classmates smoke cigarette after cigarette. I am thinking about that, blowing out clean air in front of me.

Dream: A bit like a FA, or was it a dream, this was more hearing the dream than seeing it. Mom is talking with dad that she regrets not noticing the details of her dream, because this is the third time she actually has a lucid.

LD: After trying to fall asleep for a while after the natural wake, I catch myself in the midst of a dreamlet. I see my bf already in the dream on the street, but I am still there more of a side spectator than an in-dream presence. My bf starts doing repetitive movements with his hands as if he is entering the dream as well. I concentrate and soon my hands and body appear in the dream. I have a little trouble moving, feel my body slightly paralyzed, but am relaxed about it and just wait. Bf gives me a hand and pulls me closer, which helps me become more solid. He is very friendly and nicer than most of his DC appearances and I wonder whether this could be a shared dream. I walk on the street for a bit, but things destabilize, then the dream is possibly back again. Memory gap?

I have no idea what happened but now am on the roof floor of a building with lots of kids around. I think I lost my lucidity or am quite distracted at this point. The kids are playing with two balloons, one red and one blue, and I am getting closer to the edge of the building as they almost throw one of the balloons too far. I have worries about falling down. Then I go over one of the kids and tell her to turn off/change the music. Here I regain my lucidity as I try to go down while I get a strange fear of heights. I conclude that when people feel this fear they enter a similar to the dream state while awake. Some sort of exaggerated anxiety mood.

I am now one floor below, with my bf and a number of DCs next to me. I decide to ask my bf about the meaning of life. Again, he looks more like himself here. At first he answers something about "going forward", which I very much like. I tell him to repeat it again but instead he says "I like going back and forward" and then blurts out "Money". This disappoints me a bit. I want to get more and better answers so ask another DC. This guy looks falsely familiar and initially gives me the impression I might have encountered a real dreamer as he begins to ponder the question. But then he just keeps repeating "mmm" and "mmmhum" and doesn't say anything. I am annoyed and feel the dream is slipping away as I have been waiting too long. The dream stops but instead of going through the void, I lose consciousness. It takes maybe about 10 seconds and I am back in the dream.

I was in some sort of a corridor before and now I go into the next room where there are a lot of DCs from my class. I want to ask once again, so I organize those DCs which are now around 20 to gather in front of me as if I am about to take a picture of them. I then make an intro and ask them what the meaning of life is. Lots of my classmates raise hands and I select K. who is smiling to answer. She starts a long speech about happiness. She doesn't say anything exciting, just tells me about her life. I have no more interest in getting the question answered. I then address the whole class and ask them if they know what a lucid dream is and if they have had one. A few try to say something, but it is really hard to concentrate as there are too many DCs in the room. I tell them that this is a lucid dream, but then begin to worry that I might actually be having a shared dream with someone and they might think I am crazy. I leave them to talk with one another. I lose consciousness again, the dream is back in a few seconds. (no void)

I am trying to think of more tasks when I see this pretty Asian girl maybe around 20 years old. I start having distracting side thoughts and want to get close to her but she looks scared and tries to run away. I relax a bit and so does she. She lies on my lap as I marvel her beautiful hair and caress her. When she stands up, I notice she is wearing a knee-length dress. I know it is a bad idea to do it temptation-wise, but I just can't resist and start licking her leg. (Yes, I have a problem!) I notice how super real her leg looks, feels and tastes (a bit salty). I am still considering whether I should fully indulge or try to remember and do other tasks, when the dream suddenly ends. I stay still, but am too wakeful to DEILD or fall asleep.

Comments: I did some quick reading related to neurotransmitters and noticed that B6 plays a role in the synthesis of five: serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine and GABA. So, after the intake of B6 it is likely that my levels of these increase.The usual effects for me are earlier onset of memorable dreams (today first wake was at plus 3hrs), emotionally loaded dream contents (often aggressive DCs, sometimes me running away, i.e. fight or flight response, also some sexy moments), reduced sleepiness/increased alertness. After thinking about the effects, it looks like one neurotransmitter receives a significant boost and influences the overall mood of the dream - dopamine. I feel that this information finally coming to my attention is important as it increases my understanding of dream intensity and may help me eventually achieve better control during lds.