side notes

Date: 5th Aug

Total sleep time: 7 hrs<

Pre bed: Calcium&Magn, 100mg B6

Natural wakes: 6x, vivid dreams after each, lazy to record, also mislaid notebook

Early dream(+3 hrs?): a memory of a lucid, where I didn't do anything in particular? We were gathered on street around a fountain/pillar?

Dream: An emotional personal dream with a rather unpleasant outcome. Sadness and anger.

Dream: Sitting on the table of a local cafe. My high school classmates smoke cigarette after cigarette. I am thinking about that, blowing out clean air in front of me.

Dream: A bit like a FA, or was it a dream, this was more hearing the dream than seeing it. Mom is talking with dad that she regrets not noticing the details of her dream, because this is the third time she actually has a lucid.

LD: After trying to fall asleep for a while after the natural wake, I catch myself in the midst of a dreamlet. I see my bf already in the dream on the street, but I am still there more of a side spectator than an in-dream presence. My bf starts doing repetitive movements with his hands as if he is entering the dream as well. I concentrate and soon my hands and body appear in the dream. I have a little trouble moving, feel my body slightly paralyzed, but am relaxed about it and just wait. Bf gives me a hand and pulls me closer, which helps me become more solid. He is very friendly and nicer than most of his DC appearances and I wonder whether this could be a shared dream. I walk on the street for a bit, but things destabilize, then the dream is possibly back again. Memory gap?

I have no idea what happened but now am on the roof floor of a building with lots of kids around. I think I lost my lucidity or am quite distracted at this point. The kids are playing with two balloons, one red and one blue, and I am getting closer to the edge of the building as they almost throw one of the balloons too far. I have worries about falling down. Then I go over one of the kids and tell her to turn off/change the music. Here I regain my lucidity as I try to go down while I get a strange fear of heights. I conclude that when people feel this fear they enter a similar to the dream state while awake. Some sort of exaggerated anxiety mood.

I am now one floor below, with my bf and a number of DCs next to me. I decide to ask my bf about the meaning of life. Again, he looks more like himself here. At first he answers something about "going forward", which I very much like. I tell him to repeat it again but instead he says "I like going back and forward" and then blurts out "Money". This disappoints me a bit. I want to get more and better answers so ask another DC. This guy looks falsely familiar and initially gives me the impression I might have encountered a real dreamer as he begins to ponder the question. But then he just keeps repeating "mmm" and "mmmhum" and doesn't say anything. I am annoyed and feel the dream is slipping away as I have been waiting too long. The dream stops but instead of going through the void, I lose consciousness. It takes maybe about 10 seconds and I am back in the dream.

I was in some sort of a corridor before and now I go into the next room where there are a lot of DCs from my class. I want to ask once again, so I organize those DCs which are now around 20 to gather in front of me as if I am about to take a picture of them. I then make an intro and ask them what the meaning of life is. Lots of my classmates raise hands and I select K. who is smiling to answer. She starts a long speech about happiness. She doesn't say anything exciting, just tells me about her life. I have no more interest in getting the question answered. I then address the whole class and ask them if they know what a lucid dream is and if they have had one. A few try to say something, but it is really hard to concentrate as there are too many DCs in the room. I tell them that this is a lucid dream, but then begin to worry that I might actually be having a shared dream with someone and they might think I am crazy. I leave them to talk with one another. I lose consciousness again, the dream is back in a few seconds. (no void)

I am trying to think of more tasks when I see this pretty Asian girl maybe around 20 years old. I start having distracting side thoughts and want to get close to her but she looks scared and tries to run away. I relax a bit and so does she. She lies on my lap as I marvel her beautiful hair and caress her. When she stands up, I notice she is wearing a knee-length dress. I know it is a bad idea to do it temptation-wise, but I just can't resist and start licking her leg. (Yes, I have a problem!) I notice how super real her leg looks, feels and tastes (a bit salty). I am still considering whether I should fully indulge or try to remember and do other tasks, when the dream suddenly ends. I stay still, but am too wakeful to DEILD or fall asleep.

Comments: I did some quick reading related to neurotransmitters and noticed that B6 plays a role in the synthesis of five: serotonin, dopamine, epinephrine, norepinephrine and GABA. So, after the intake of B6 it is likely that my levels of these increase.The usual effects for me are earlier onset of memorable dreams (today first wake was at plus 3hrs), emotionally loaded dream contents (often aggressive DCs, sometimes me running away, i.e. fight or flight response, also some sexy moments), reduced sleepiness/increased alertness. After thinking about the effects, it looks like one neurotransmitter receives a significant boost and influences the overall mood of the dream - dopamine. I feel that this information finally coming to my attention is important as it increases my understanding of dream intensity and may help me eventually achieve better control during lds.

Date: 25 July

Total sleep time: 7 hrs

Pre bed: 200 mg valerian, 100mg B6, 1 pep. oil capsule

Dream quality and recall: The dreams were very vivid, recall was good but only noted keywords. I found some dreams emotionally exhausting.

Challenges: I had trouble falling asleep, and later it was warm and noisy so I couldn't do the proper WBTB and take advantage of the vividness to get more and longer lds.

Alarm: I set a WBTB alarm as my natural wakes have become unreliable.

Fragment1: Aggressive DC B6 style (+3 hrs). A person I know behaves very aggressively, I become enraged.

Early micro-ld (+3 hrs after bed): I am in a city that looks similar to one I dreamt a few months ago. Before I recognize this place I am falling with some kind of flying platform thing? Then I go down the street, looking for the city center, I know it is in the opposite direction. On a very low level, I know that this is a dream, so I daringly look around, trying to get into the closed shops. I get distracted by the stuff they are selling - Swarovski smilies that I consider buying for my mom. I continue down the street, rather non-lucid and see they sell rolled scarves. The one that catches my attention is white/pink and as I pass by the street stall, I swiftly take it and pretend nothing happened. I hurry up, but nobody pays me any attention. Contrary to rl, where I have to look at a manual and the mirror, I easily put the scarf around my head and shoulders and continue down the street.

All the previous street stalls and sellers were from India, and this street also has some Indian style of atmosphere. It looks a bit trippy too, as I see a few DCs spitting like crazy.I am distractedly lucid and try to avoid this weird sight, as I walk down the street. Yet, the act of spitting catches my attention and I soon see strange spit-related stalagmites appearing all around me. For some reason, my will activates at this point and I say out loud "this is my dream and I have full control". I didn't expect myself to say this at all, so this puts me into super clarity of mind. Contemplating the statement, I focus on the space in front of me and see the little transparent dot (pin head size, that I sometimes notice during the day if I sleep less that 5 hrs). If find this very strange. At this point the dream falls apart and I am back in bed. A DEILD could have been successful, but decided to visit the restroom.

Fragment: in front of grandma's, I consider climbing a tree, but as my friend confirms there are webs all over the tree so better not.

Fragment: flying?

Dream: We are in Belgium and I go in this person's lab, where I mix some stuff. He is arrested as he is the owner, but they will soon be coming after us too. As I am preparing to leave, a woman that lives in his place comes in and tells me they (cops?) are coming. I have to go to the store and admit I am the one that bought something. The woman in the store will recognize me, so I change my appearance. Before I go, I want to listen to a song, but bf interrupts me.

Fragment: I enter a building, but as I go up the stairs, it turns into shelves stocked with food. As my mind is trying to figure out what the hell is this, I decide that this a small local supermarket, and look at the items there. Lots of expensive cheese and carrot juice. I have climbed on the shelf as am examining all the items. Soon my dad comes in and talks about the food.

Dream: I am in my hometown, in a small garden, waiting for something I can't remember now, on the ground, when Will Ferrell comes to me. He starts talking in German and there is a touch of aggression in the way addresses me and behaves. I tell him to switch to American, then wonder at my own statement. He makes a few comments in English, then goes to a street stall where they sell books and switches to German again. He forces me to buy 4 books, although I see no sense in reading them (they look very outdated and boring). As I take the four books to him, I remember that I don't have money for all of them, maybe just one.

Dream: We are going somewhere with parents, and I know we are heading towards the cave as I see boulders being held by protective nets. Before I know it (this felt lucid for a second because the dream skipped), we are already in the cave. I remember I have to crawl in, so I touch floor and walls of the narrow passage with my hands. We continue forward, but unlike what I have expected, there are no other people here and it is absolutely dark. The passage also gets narrower, I see no point in going further.

Micro ld: I can't remember how this started, I am looking at something (maybe in the cave?) and then it changes so in the darkness in front of me I see these huge ocean waves. I exert control over them, the way I do in many non-lds, but this time I know it was a dream. I am watching this from the distance, as if I am in the cave or in the void and the waves are like a vision/dreamlet in front of me. Then I concentrate on the sound of the waves, I hear them form and crash on the shore over and over, retaining some part of the vision of the waves. I become like enchanted, trying to recall how did the memory of the waves become so ingrained in my subconsciousness. The explanation I come up with is that this is a memory where I am lying on the beach asleep or relaxed, with the waves as the background sound. I feel I am lying on the stomach on the beach, with eyes closed, as if I am relieving a past memory. I am relaxing, semi-asleep, listening to the sound of the ocean.

Dream: Another person pisses me off and I tell him exactly the same things I was thinking about in the last couple of days (saying them is not advisable irl)

Dream: I am on the couch with the son of family friends. For a second, I touch his arm, but then think again. No. He tells me he is sorry that his mom is always inviting me to celebrations (like birthday parties, etc.) and that actually he doesn't want me to be there. I understand, I don't want either. I know that his mom has been trying to hook me up with him. (a rather accurate evaluation, his mom is very enthusiastic about us meeting irl)

Date: 20th July

Pre bed: 200mg valerian, 100mg B6

Dream quality and recall: Dreams were quite vivid today. Generally, I wasn't feeling very comfortable in bed and had lots of these drink then pee moments. Took short key notes with regards to non-lds. Daringly reviewed the ld in my head then went back for more but fell into normal sleep and woke up shortly after.

Summary

Dr1: In a place I used to live, a crow flies in. I use a pc/tablet to chat with other people about it.

Dr2: I am in an SUV and have to deal with some bad guys outside. After I do, extra stars are added to my profile. Martin Freeman (the Hobbit) is sitting to my right and thinks I don't deserve all the stars.

Dr3: Back to school. As I enter the classroom everybody is preparing for a 7 page History + Grammar test. I am very pissed off at my friend for not telling me about the test. She replies that I still have time to prepare by learning all the answers in the break just before the test. I cannot possibly do that.

DILD: As I made the mistake of not taking notes and then going back to bed after the ld, the beginning of this dream is gone from memory. All I remember is that there was something going on in the building and I am talking to someone I know, possibly another classmate by the feel of it. After the conversation in this very large building with open spaces, like a mall, I suddenly become lucid for no apparent reason. I can't contain my excitement, so start running around like crazy. It feels really good until I sense slight destabilization staring to take hold. That sobers me up and I think it is time to do tasks. My mind feels a bit foggy but I nevertheless recall one that I can execute here - punch a President.

There are lots of DCs passing by and my first idea is to get Mr. Sarkozy to emerge from the crowd, so I quickly scan the DCs in front of me and expect him to appear. He doesn't, so I grab a random male DC and decide that I will turn him into Sarkozy. As soon as I concentrate on his face, his features begin to shift right in front of my eyes, which is extremely cool! His nose changes shape several times, until it is a close match to Sarkozy's nose. I also succeed with the ears. The DC reminds me of Sarkozy, but the eyes are not quite the same. I would say he is a 70 percent match. I punch him in the face and the moment I do, his features change again. Slightly annoyed that I cannot properly punch and maintain the view of the right person I punch him again and again, while trying to change his features back to those of Sarkozy. As I don't project too much feeling, this DC simply stays there, staring at me, some distress in his eyes. Interestingly, after punching him, I begin to feel strong pain in the area of my nose, as if I am the one that got punched. Not fully satisfied, I want to turn him into another politician, but before I can transform him the dream slips away. I quickly pass through the void and into my sleeping body. Bad moment to go back as I was feeling uncomfortable in the position in which I was sleepy.

Date: 21 July

Pre bed: Gingko, l-arginine

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

Dream quality and recall: My impression after using this combo tonight was that vividness of the dreams was extremely high. I couldn't recall the early dreams but after I woke up naturally after them, I thought "what is going on, this was so real". The dreams/fragments that I remember had a different feel (despite looking like the usual dream nonsense after reading) to them similarly to one of the other l-arginine trials. Very intriguing.

I was looking forward to sleeping longer and going for a lucid, but was woken up and had to deal with some crap that can't be really dealt with.

Fragment: I am watching a map of the world, but it is actually the real world. One thing that looks extremely interesting is how I see different winds/temperatures moving over the world.

Fragment: I am talking to some German guys. Then I watch a screen with a discussion where half of the discussion is in French and the other one is in German. My username is mentioned as well.

Dream: I am on the street in some city. It feels that this dream may be happening in France and slightly reminds me of the place in the dream about the art appreciator. My bf is queuing inside an embassy. People are sitting on my parents' furniture from years ago. I make remarks about his place having the same furniture as us. I want to reach my bf but the other women on the queue won't let me, I think this is typical. I joke that all people here have gathered to see my bf, when he is supposed to get naked for the procedure. It's his turn. There is a small boy trying to interact with us. (this reminds me of a small boy we saw yesterday, he was talking to himself)

Dream: I am in a room (some deep strange feeling here), and see a friend of ours. She looks quite worried as she is supposed to meet her husband at the city center in few minutes but is not ready yet. Her husband gives her a call to ask where she is and she gets so emotional she starts crying. This whole scene is extremely vivid as I see her face in great detail, being influenced by the strong emotions. I try to console her and hug her, but she pushes me away. I am at loss.

Dream: I am in an apartment with lots of guys, this skater guy from my past is there as well. If I am not mistaken, we first discuss lucidity blends, and I want to say that I use coke as the last ingredient, yet as my mom is also there, I am worried that she might understand the whole thing wrong and think I am taking drugs. Therefore I say "coca cola" but she still reacts as if I am admitting to a wrongful act. I don't want to discuss this in front of her.

On the wall appear 3 posters that describe steps in some process, initially related to lucidity, but then it looks like this is the recipe to make ginger beer? There is also a screen next to the posters, but very soon it looks like it shows porn-related contents. I actually don't see anything of the kind, but know that it is an erotic movie that is playing and also on the posters. I feel embarrassed that I have put these things on the wall and family is coming in the room at the moment. My skater friend is not there anymore, but now there are lots of people gathered around a bench. One older guys looks extremely bad, he has some problems, and I try to calm him down, let him lie down on my lap.

Fragment: I am wondering why I just saw my skater friend from the past in the dream (this feels like some kind of meditative analysis while asleep), I see his face and features, and conclude that because he looks so handsome I had something like a crush on him and feelings in the past, and this explains his appearance in the dream.

Comment: So I got tired of this heat plus other distractions reducing my ld count and decided to try with G

Preparation: I had pre bed insomnia, too wakeful plus nagging thoughts. Still, I decided against setting an alarm and going for a natural wake.

WBTB: Of course, I missed my desired WBTB but decided to go ahead. I was very sleepy due to the heat so walked around a bit. As soon as I took the pill and went back to the bedroom I saw this huge moth (a real one!) that came in last night and we couldn't catch it. It started flying around and caused me some additional wakefulness. I tried to ignore it and went to bed.

Started my usual induction mix and internal dialogue was fine but I felt too alert bodily to be able to fully fall asleep and be absorbed by those dreamlets/HI. Here are some that I remember, some were lucid, some not, I don't think it matters much in this case.

Mini-dream: I am somewhere and to my right is a guy that I identify as Xanous. He is holding some kind of a brush that I next take and inspect. White bristles, strange shape. I wake up. (Not much time to observe appearance, but in my mind it was him)

HI/dr: The head of state

HI/dr: The best lucid dreamers in DV [Names]

HI/dr: The tree of plenty from HMM game

HI/dr: A very large tropical plant plus other greenery

Micro-ld: I am standing on my grandma's balcony and it is night. I can hear nice music playing and look down to see a strange guy in front of the building. He is performing for a new place that has opened up just in front of grandma's. I have positive feelings towards the guy as he reminds me of a friend of mine. But most importantly I am very happy to have finally made it to a dream. The air is very stuffy and warm but I feel some kind of pleasant power in the air. I try to move my head to look around but meet some resistance as if my dream body isn't quite ready yet. I'm thrown out of the dream and into my super awake body.

I try to go back to sleep for some time but in vain so I give up and go to meditate in the other room.

I spend appx. 50mins meditating then go to the restroom. Moving from thought to thought and by means of association I remember my phone, see a quick phone image along with the thought, then another image quickly flashes by - the true location of my phone.

I have looked in the place two times but couldn't find it before. I decided to give it another try, this time a fully thorough search until I got out every little piece of crap from there. And at the bottom was of course - my phone!

Background: I bought a new phone but put it somewhere in a hurry in April, while preparing for guests. I totally forgot about it in May, looked for it everywhere in June, gave up in July and decided I would ask a DC where the hell it was. Asked a few times, got some nonsense and the best answer that came from DCs was "outside". Well, it was inside and not outside. Lol! Anyways, one task less.

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Dream quality and recall: Dreams were vivid but recall was challenging due to the fact that I continued sleeping after the lds. It took me a while to journal the lds and by the time I did, the non-ld memories almost vanished. Still, taking into account recent busyness, heat and other distractions, I am very happy with the results.

Early dream fragment: It is the 5th of July and I am watching lots of fantastic long-lasting fireworks in the sky

Early dream fragment: I am doing dumbbell exercises, it feels really good

WBTB: Was very sleepy but made an effort to review the tasks. Said a mantra a few times, then fell deeply asleep.

Dream: I enter grandpa's room and discover that grandma has forgotten some kind of a diary she kept hidden behind the door. I wait until she is not around and peek in the diary to find out it is actually my diary. So, I had forgotten it in 2007 and she hid it and has been reading little bits ever since. This is terrible because this diary fully describes my views, plans, etc. I want to take it back home, but my mom comes snooping around, so I have to be careful not to attract her attention.

Fragment: I am with a classmate going to a class meeting. We stop in front of a building.

LD1: For some reason am in someone's store that resembles an outlet of a totally unknown brand. I spend some time checking out clothes, mostly interested in pink and purple ones. There is a cardigan I like but it turns into a net? Classmates are also there, I am trying to get their attention. A woman working in the store comes to bring us what looks like orange juice, but she claims it is beer. My whole class is gathered around something like a long table and we are having a drink. I first wait for everyone to get served but soon notice that some are already drinking. I feel drunk. Other classmates tell the story of a girl with the same name as mine, about how she lived in some city where women are emancipated. I think this refers to me, but later find out that they are talking about another classmate because they say her family name.

I turn to one of my best friends and say to her that we better leave the place and go outside. I am not sure what we did there but I am overly bold and become lucid. I turn back to all the guys from my class that have been passively following me and say some things to them I don't any longer remember. I recall how long this dream has been going and have very little time left, so decide to hurry up. The scenery around me is absolutely beautiful. We just left a lone building and there is only grass around, hills, trees. It seems like fall is just beginning, the colors are very pleasant to look at.

My brain is more asleep than usual and the only task that comes to mind after looking at the scenery is flying to angel falls. (which is so totally CL!)

I lift off and do some maneuvering that I can't exactly recall. I keep on flying over some fantastic hills, but I just feel this is going to end very bad because I have no idea where I am going and I am in the air for too long. (Also my expectation was set very deeply on a subcon level).

I decide to land and end up facing what looks like a small waterfall. There is water pouring over some rocks just in front of me. While I know this isn't what I am looking for (too small), I go as close as possible to this water falling down the rocks, trying to feel the water on me as the dream fades away and I end up in the void.

I spend some time in the void, just waiting there. (I couldn't remember any advice as what else to do, but that was fine)

LD2:It's a bit hard to remember what the first image was that I was looking at here but I am lucid from the start. It is an open area, with lots of vegetation again. I try three tasks, not fully sure about the sequence of but mostly likely in this order.

I look around and see some hills and trees in the distance. Once again it is all very beautiful and this makes me happy. It also reminds me that I was headed towards Angel falls. The vegetation makes it just perfect for the task and I stare there and day dream for a very short while. I feel like I want to rush forward and just get there. However, I just passed a few DCs and I remember I had another task I wanted to do "ask a DC".

I turn to this overweight mid-age woman and she makes some kind of word-like sound like "nah", I ask her where my phone is and she says "outside". This cannot be possible, as I know the phone must be somewhere at home, so I object and ask for further explanation. She says something else that I can't exactly remember but it means that this the answer. I am not satisfied with the answer she gave me, so I look around and there is another DC woman more or less the same type, but different face. I go to her and she makes exactly the same word-like sound like the other one, I find this very strange. I proceed to ask her about my phone and she just answers "but didn't you already ask". Well, yeah, but I want to ask again, and it is none of her business, just tell me where the phone is. I am annoyed with her and start some senseless explaining. After a while, I give it up and move on.

Still in the same place I decide to do the fireworks task and look around for some fireworks to swallow. The problem is that I am not in a room where my mind easily makes all kinds of objects but in the greenery and there's only grass and some small bushes there. I somehow remember I can do a summon from my pocket. I have the memory that my pockets are currently empty but still decide to search in my pocket. It is indeed empty but I manage to scrub something there, I hold my fist tight for a second and then I expect to see a mini-firework in there. Unfortunately, it is just a purple brown pill. I become confused thinking I really had this pill in my real pocket and that's causing the problem. Anyways, I concentrate on the pill, trying to make it look at least a bit like a firework but in vain. Somewhere after this intense concentration the dream fades.

I don't remember anything from the void here anymore.

LD3: I appear in some kind of public building restroom, still lucid, where I am looking myself in the mirror. I feel some pain in my tooth and have a closer look. Yeah, something is not quite right there and that worries me that I might actually have done something to my real tooth. I vaguely remember Penny talking about tooth dreams, and try to ignore the issue. Yet, I keep on checking myself out in the mirror until I zoom in to see and feel my entire row of teeth in a painfully twisted position. Dreams can really get crazy, I think to myself, remembering how Checker's fingers were twisted or something like that.

Finally, I brake my teeth fixation and walk around, trying to exit the restroom. Slightly worried that the dream might destabilize, although there wasn't an indication?, I decide to rub my hands and see if anything feels different. I remark that everything feels absolutely normal, and rubbing my hands on this occasion does not feel different from waking life. I also remember to jump a bit supposedly to stabilize, but it's more like some mischievous act of fun. I jump a few times, although cautiously as I don't want to destabilize the dream by losing the sense of my feet while mid air.

Trying to leave the restroom, I walk around in this building, but get lost in a maze of corridors. I go back, then try again and end up in some creepy looking corridor, lit by a single old bulb, shining bright. The whole place looks like from some kind a cheap movie scene and I don't like it at all. I don't want to be there. I get paranoid, staring at the corridor which turns to the left and soon some kind of a non-human thing is summoned by me.

Before he even has the chance to move closer I know that the only way out of this place is to phase through the wall in front of me and I do so.

I immediately end up in the void, but am still a bit paranoid that this thing might follow me into the next dream. I try to reason this whole situation, that he doesn't exist anymore, and feeling with certainty that once in the void, it is over. From then on, I remember to concentrate on Angel falls and on appearing on top of it. I do my best to create sensations that I am there.

I don't remember what happened, I just found myself in the next scene.

LD4: My memory gets even worse as I fall deeper into sleep. I am on the street, facing some building. My concern at this point is recall. I realize that I have been having dream after dream with no opportunity to journal. I try to remember how many lds so far, four, try to recall some details as I feel they will be lost. Using either my fingernails or some other object, I write down the number of dreams with a key word next to each to help with my recall once I wake up. This whole task is extremely difficult and towards the end of the process I begin to hear non-lucid dream thoughts interfering in my head.

Soon I lose lucidity as a Heroes of Might and Magic scene develops in the building in front of me. There are the two players' armies and obviously mine has been defeated because I didn't send reinforcements, while the other player did. The armies look quite 3D life-like with the largest beast looking quite scary.

NLD: Someone informs bf about his dentist and that some kind of refund is due because he did the dental work in a hurry. Tom Wilkinson is the dentist.

NLD: I am in a tram, there is a strange looking skinny old man in front of me. He is dressed like Gandhi, also has some kind of flat drawers on his chest, as some sort of a medallion. We talk for a short while and unfortunately I can't recall more detail anymore.

Soon the dream ends and I am in my body semi-conscious and extremely sleepy. For some reason my physical body decides to change position, so my legs move. This is what wakes me up a bit more and I decide it is better to journal before I forget everything.

Date: 08 July

Pre bed: 100mg B6

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Sleep quality and recall: I have been sleep deprived for a number of days in a row, so I really needed my sleep. As soon as my more memorable rebound began (after 4.5 hrs of sleep and an involuntary WBTB), I went directly into a lucid, took key notes only, went back to bed to have another chain of lds. Sleep was the priority so only took brief notes. Also due to deeper sleep in which I think these LDs occurred plus them being one after the other, I was going deeper into the dreamworld and some details were lost.

Early dream: I am in some house and think about a family friend who's visiting in the dream. She will sleep in a particular room, I am now in the room and examine two beds, and a very long couch and make some comments about that. Soon she comes in and we start talking. I am very happy to see her, so I hug her and kiss her on the cheek, one side only, and she does exactly the same, which I find a bit strange. She has short ginger/copper hair, a really beautiful color and looks much younger and as if she has lost some weight compared to rl.

Fragment: my dad was involved. I just remember cleaning something outside, wearing a short top which makes me feel uneasy as some guys are staring at me, so I go inside.

LD1: My first memory is that I am standing and possibly I wake in this bed in a room that vaguely reminds me of my first room. It is dark and there is a sense of creepiness and I explore around as the room changes to a larger apartment. Unfortunately, I don't have much memory of what I looked at in the first part of this ld. This took some time and then I look out if the window and see some strange graffiti. This whole thing is moving and it looks like a picture of graffiti next to another picture of graffiti, below and above each more graffiti pictures and some people there as well. It looks insane/trippy. There seems to be some story developing as outside on the street and to the right some kind of danger is making these people on the graffiti window want to run away. I briefly wonder about what kind of supp I took this night and remember it was the B6, which slightly worries me. (I tend to have more aggressive/chaser dreams with it). Yet, I try to control my reaction as I really don't want to spend the ld running from this thing.

I concentrate on other items in the room. Some kind of a cupboard or whatever, I just see thousands of tiny objects, each one is different and unique. I am literally overwhelmed with detail and unable to remember any particular item. The images remain stable. While this is extremely interesting and I enjoy examining these items, I realize that one can sink to uncontrollable depths due to indulging and decide to move on. I see a glass door and just pass through it as if it is nothing, and wonder a bit about that. I also briefly check out my reflection on this glass door. This room is also very dark and I really don't feel like exploring in this condition as I begin to worry I might meet something I am not going to like.

I try to back off but then get paranoid that I am summoning something as I keep on staring at the darkness behind a door. Soon something begins to form there and comes towards me. Luckily, I only managed to get some grey formless furniture to appear from the door and come towards me. As it gets in my proximity, I instinctively lift it with my mind, and hold it in the air for a while. This reminds me of various tasks that were included in the competition, and I go through my own tasks, but most of them involve some DCs. The only one that I remember I can do here is to transform into a tiger. I simply think of that, and possibly because I am so deep into the dream, it is quite easy. I immediately find myself on fours, and check if my paws are those of a tiger, they are! The only problem I seem to have is with my head/neck. There is some tension and I am unable to look ahead as my head is facing the floor. I am trying to fix this but it doesn't work much and I experience all kinds of weird sensations, connected to vision, my body, floating, etc.

I think this is how the dream ends. I wake up feeling very sleepy (some 5 hrs after bed), take some key notes and review in mind as not to forget. I also think that there was another task that I can do without DCs, swallow fireworks. I fall asleep again.

LD2: I find myself in what looks like my first room again, some floating feeling again, and I am in a normal upright position. Something about this whole thing feels weird as I am thinking what the hell am I doing here, I realize this is a dream just like some time ago. The room is dark again and I remember how this is not an issue for Xanous anymore, but it certainly bothers me, it is just unpleasant, and not just the darkness, but rather the whole atmosphere.

I remember that I don't have to be confined to using conventional means so decide I will use a flashlight to help me. (I had previously thought about this) I look around and there are all kinds of things on the furniture but no flashlight. At this time, I remember that there was this other no DC fireworks task that I can still do and look for some fireworks among the objects, but don't find any. My memory is a bit vague as to what I do afterwards. After spending some more time looking around, I finally gather the courage to risk and phase through the wall or some furniture on the wall. It swallows me and I float in the void.

LD3 fragment: I am in some other room but this time it is daytime. I am examining the surroundings, very enthusiastic, but don't remember almost anything. I want to go outside so I carefully climb on the window and try to cross over to the street. As I do, I feel as if I am phasing, but do some movements to emerge through this invisible sticky water-like material, and hold on to the dream. I lose my balance and fall forward, ending up in the void, where I am floating and rolling at the same time.

LD4: I suddenly find myself in a room, that slightly looks like that of bf. Bf is to my left and we are discussing something. I am facing a wardrobe with a mirror and notice that am wearing a long Chinese dress. It looks a bit strange since I can't figure out why am I dressed like that. I take a closer look in the mirror. Not only that but I just look ridiculous, it is oversize, my hair is kind of weird too. This is a dream. OK, so finally I can do TOTM. I hug my bf's DC, hold like that for a while, then wait for a reaction. He doesn't do anything just breathes and there are some hissing-like sounds coming from him. He finally manages to whisper the word "something". I step back and look at him. While I consider him to be my bf he is a different DC now, more like Nicolas D'Agosto.

There is something unpleasant about him, but his proximity triggers some sexual desires on my part and I start thinking of what to do. I tell myself that it is ok to do that if I want to and think about DV and how people are fine with it, and how I am going to report that...So I am very close to him, both of us with clothes and I am struggling with myself as he just waits there. Two opposing forces are acting on me until I finally manage to move away and just observe him for a bit.

I remeber other tasks with DCs - "assign a DC", I feel like there's no sense in doing that, then "ask a DC". This one sounds good so I decide to go ahead and ask him where my phone is. (I lost a phone at home). He is totally dumb and doesn't say anything just assumes some strange waiting for me to jump on him kind of position. The dream fades?

LD5: I am in my high school and bf's mom is also there.I am still lucid but this is extremely hard now as I feel I am sinking deeper into sleep. I am mostly worried that all lucid memories will be totally lost as I haven't journaled and try to remember how many lds I had before. I count four. I continue down the corridor, float and fly up the stars in yet another float/fly style with my hands locked like in a prayer/or like I am swimming. As I float up, I just remember the ld with the tiger transformation and the issues I had with my head. I can somehow compare the experiences and sensations during both events (transformation and current float moving).

My floating is somewhat hard to control not in terms of where I am going but in terms of how I'm seeing. It's like I am in weightlessness turning over randomly, seeing the world upside down, sideways, etc. As I am trying to figure out a solution for these problems, the dream fades, and I if I recall correctly I float in a similar way in the void. Or maybe not. I spent so many dream ends shortly floating in the void that night, it is getting hard to distinguish those.

LD6: I wake up my first room, on the bed, it is dark. I get a bit tired of this scenario. This time I am lying on the bed while some sort of indigo/dark blue energy is attacking me. This does not feel nice at all as I literally sense this thing is energetically feeding on me. I wake up from the nasty feeling.

These dreams took around 30-40 mins of sleep. After waking up, I take some brief notes. The last dream left me a bit distressed so even though I need my sleep badly I am reluctant to immediately fall asleep. I try to dissipate the mood, then go into more unmemorable deep sleep.

LD7: There was another LD that I vaguely as I lost lucidity at some point and then had 3 NLDs. I remember two lucid fragments: one where I was checking out shadows - my own shadow and that of someone else and some objects. I was excited to have finally noticed this. I conclude that the shadows are very realistic and on this occasion there is no difference from RL, at least according to my dream logic at the moment. I also remember organizing an erotic scene, but it got interrupted by other dream themes.

Other dreams: I remember having three NLDs that were cool and interesting, but unfortunately cannot recall as much as I would like to.

NLD: I am having a tiger that I take care of. For some reason this tiger is activated into life and then made to hibernate by being drained and filled with liquids like water and blood. It is a good tiger and I wonder why did I decide to switch it off by taking life away from it. Someone tells me that the more you do that to these types of animals the worse they get every time they come back. The give a list of symptoms that will develop over time, the first one being aggression. I am worried about my tiger and want to bring it to life as soon as I can tomorrow. At the same time, it seems I have another animal, that is some kind of leopard that morphs into a dalmatian/leopard with the head of a bull terrier. This animal already suffers from side effects of the process and is ultra aggressive. I try to lock it in a room and think what esle to do.

NLD: I come across a beautifully decorated box. If contains two strangely shaped crystals, a bit a like the tooth or horn of some animal. These crystals belong to some kind of a ruler/king who has now sold them. They have creepy magic powers that are very strong and can be used to one's advantage
but there's some sort of negative side effect too.

A bit later me and a friend of mine, possibly a classmate go out on a strange street. There is a minor quake and I warn her that there will be another one as this is part of the scenario.

NLD fragment: I am going up some rails that are in the sky. It looks as if I am travelling and want to cross over to Sweden, where there is an invisible track and another one to a nearby location. But who can fly (by himself) for such a long distance?

Comment: The 2-6lds were just following one after the other and I did not touch on my body to DEILD.

Comment: A bit behind with updating

Date: 30 June

Pre bed: 3mg mel

WBTB: Some latte

Total sleep time: appr. 6 1/2 hrs

Early dream1: I am posting to our conversation in DV

Dream Fragment2: There is an old apple pudding that I try to throw away in the sink but the apples won't dissolve.

Dream3 Irritating Kitten: I am on the street where we live and there is a grey kitten that catches my attention. We play for a while but as I leave it starts to behave like a crazy cat, always coming back to me faster and faster. Its claws and little teeth are sharp, I want to get rid of it. Finally, I toss it aside and as it lands on the other side of the street, it turns into a dead rat, with its insides open. I have concerns of what will people think about hygiene, having a dead animal on the street, but then some guys come pick it up.

WBTB: I was initially worried that I am not wakeful enough, so headed for the latte. It was not the best morning to do so as there were lots of distractions and I ended up very nervous, struggling to fall asleep for an hour and a half.

Falling asleep/LD: I can't even remember where, it was a dream forming around me but I woke

Falling asleep/LD: I appear walking down the street of my hometown. Some people are passing by, I try to hold on to a big tall guy but the dream slips away and I wake up.

WILD (Nyx style): I find myself in some room with soft light, as the dream forms. For some reason, I attempt to control the dream by using a touchpad screen? I stop doing this and look around. The dream is unstable and I try to engage whoever is around. There are three-four DCs and I immediately recognize my parents there. The memory of quickly phasing through the walls comes to mind but I dismiss it, then run through some tasks that I remember and decide to ask the DCs there including my parents how to find Xanous. Unfortunately, these DCs are totally dumb, so I get almost no reaction from them, no matter how many times I ask. They go to sleep on the few beds that are in the center of the room. The dream is still unstable (possibly because I am super wakeful), so I start jumping on the bed (white bed sheets) to engage myself a bit more. I find it quite pleasant and I don't have to worry about breaking anything. I am bounce-walking now, trying to stabilize this way, as I notice the instability is still here to an extent. Then as I am jumping in front of a wooden desk, my leg hits some small item on the floor and it even hurts a bit. I find this strange.

Finally, I calm down, look around the room and ponder my next action. The light in the room is very soft and pleasant, as if coming from a lamp. Lots of the furniture that I barely notice is wooden. I remember three wooden doors on the two walls in front of me. They are all closed. Initially, I decide to stay in the room and explore it, but then the door in front of me is open. It is dark but I think of playing a bit, open the door with TK, nice! I go forward, now there is light in the room. As I am slowly and carefully moving forward, I notice that there are windows showing the reflection. Very interested to check it out, I concentrate on it and worryingly see someone else's reflection there. So behind the door as I am entering is another DC that obviously corresponds to this reflection and she just...well I just didn't expect her to be there, so got a bit scared.

I fully enter this new room and look at the DC in front of me. At this point the dream is super stable and vivid. I carefully examine her looks and try to memorize as much detail as possible.Ok, I now try to talk to her, but as she replies there is no sound. I continue asking her questions but can't understand anything, just that she answers "no" about something and she moves her head in negation. My speaking is more like thoughts and without sound, but she understands me. I truly start to believe that I have crossed into another multiverse and that this is the cause of our inability to communicate. I ask her if it is because of energy? Does she see me at all? Her mother comes around as well,I continue questioning them - do they see me, or can they only hear me? I realize that I am spending way too much time and concentration on this apparently useless conversation, and orientate myself in the room so that I can report in what kind of room I was. It is a kitchen, no, a dinning room. There is a large table with some chairs.

My attention is caught by another reflection in the window. It is day outside. I am curious to see how I look so move closer and notice a white T-shirt with some red flowers on it, find the clothes interesting. These DCs are all around me still in another section of the room, now that might have been the kitchen. Going through tasks again. Ok, let's do "lucidity DC" just in case. I don't believe I will see these DCs ever again, but I still tell them that if they ever dream of me and see me they have to tell me it's a dream, etc. Since the dream is quite stable, I once again I think I might try to find Xanous. I ask the DCs to help me find him, pause for a moment and listen. There is no single sound in this dream. They are still trying to interact with me, saying something but in vain. The mother holds a roll of blue paper in her hands and I come up with the idea that they write down whatever they want to say. They take too long and as I wait doing nothing, the dream dissolves. I do a lousy DEILD attempt then impatiently wake myself up.

Maybe I should have been more persistent with my attempt to go back there but I was way too awake and overexcited.

Date: 28th

Pre bed: Multivits, WBTB: some red bull

Comments: I was very sleepy and quickly reviewed the storyline so some details were lost. The dreams had some bizarre but still interesting and pleasant post wake feel to them.

Dreamlet: some granny and another woman sitting on a chair/wheelchair

Dream1: I am in my hometown and want to buy some supps – copper that is dissolved in water. It is not available where I am at the moment, so I go to a bus station and head to the nearest drugstore. On the corner is a street stall where they sell all kinds of prayer beads – malas/rosaries made of colored wood. As I am heading towards the drugstore one of the items falls down on the floor. The stall was first to my right, but as I look back it is to my left! I go back to apologize to the sellers – a man and woman sitting on the floor and tell them that I would like to look at the items when I am back. Then 3 of them and me join in some kind of a game – not so much a game. There is a white Ouija board but no letters, and some other part that we will be moving with our hands. We have to select the person who will receive the message. I am slow to react so the woman picks to be that person. I think that I should not have allowed that because this way they could easily pretend and make up some kind of message. I look at the man in front of me – I feel I have known him all along and have positive feelings towards him.

Dream2[high fragmentation and possibly separate dreams]:

I am in some kind of a building on the last floor and move through the rooms which are aligned like a corridor. In the first room are the items of some dangerous guy that is not here anymore (prison?) but it looks like a friend of mine also has access to his room and has left some notes/diaries there. I am very curious and want to read it all but someone (maybe it was her) comes in and I move along the corridor like building.

This time it is a normal corridor, very long with lots of rooms on each side, reminding me of a school. Some kind of class/event is over and I hurriedly move forward by using some kind of a button to speed up, much like running in a video game. I reach the restroom to my right, then exit it, go into one of the rooms to the left, some people I know there? Then decide to go back to the restroom and I look for the same room on the right, the second or third door, but of course it is a different room now and I am very confused. They tell me the restroom is on another floor and I head to the stairs.

On the upper floor I can see/hear some family friends. Changing my mind about finding the restroom, I want to eavesdrop and find out what they are talking about without them knowing about me being there. That doesn’t quite work as the mother discovers me and I have to officially join them. Some interaction with them and the upper floor is the last floor of the building that has been turned into some kind of observatory. There are interesting things happening as some kind of machine is activated. (Unfortunately I can no longer recall). For a moment the upper floor is like a box, there are reverse window shutters and as am I talking to the family friend I am lying with my entire body on this shutter that goes up and down in mid air, trying not to slip. Back to talking to them.

Then there are a lot of people around a table and it looks like we are playing some kind of game. I mostly pay attention to some strange item like a miniature house and some vegetable – like beans as we are playing this game. Some people miss intentionally their turn and now it’s my turn but I don’t want to play. There is some talk about it and I clarify that it is because I have no idea how to play this game, then consider giving it a try.

I am on a lower level, like an open room, on the floor or an bed and look up to the building in front of me and on the last floor or somewhere like few floors above me I see Xanous in a room. To the left of him is a woman that I conclude is his wife, blue clothes? (really not sure). I try to say something to him but he is behind a glass, in that room and doesn’t hear/understand me. There is some zooming of my vision and he gets out some signs, something written with his address and directions how to get there by car. Two street names and Junction 8. I see a map with highway and different cities aligned.

I am on the street of some unknown town and conclude that some gangstas have been stealing from clothing stores. This is triggered by the fact that I find two pairs of new jeans with labels on the street. Another street man/gangsta comes and we talk as I try to figure out whether the jeans will fit my bf. Then decide to give them to the gangsta. I notice that this pair of jeans is prohibitively expensive, something like 1267? But hey maybe it is a very fashionable model. We are now in a store and the lady that works there behaves in a commanding way. We (me and another DC) just want to allow the gangsta to try the jeans, but the lady says we need to keep our distance, what? I reply that I am leaving anyways so no need to fuss.

[warning even more strange stuff follows]

I go out on the street and go to a black lady with some small kids. My memory is a bit blurry but as I walk the surroundings are transformed as we are now having a discussion about democracy, the world, then something about the development of civilization. The sun is shining bright and as this conversation goes on I am following a muddy road in the midst of a strange field. The road is no less weird, I am supposed to be following the left side of it. The road is covered with yellow fancy dust that in my mind is bright blond hair that has been cut, but it looks like a small river of pollen tracks. I think it is sunflowers. No, it is the hair of these people. There is a row of people, items that resemble some kind of a helmet (like the ones that you put on mayan gods), it changes, they are people, warriors from the past. Now they are dead. I wonder why their hair is blond when they are black, and inspect one closely. His forehead is brown. Ancient. He is cold to the touch. I come to my senses and first of all wonder why there is no smell if they are dead? Anyways, don’t want to be stuck there in the middle of this summer/ early autumn wheat type of field as down the road there is another row of these ancient warrior soldiers lying there. I head back following the same road in this strange but still beautiful sun-lit field.

Date: 25 June

Pre bed: SJW, 2xdrops p.oil

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

WBTB: 1 capsule p.oil, some frap

Comments: The sleep quality was very nice, so if I was simply looking to get some great sleep with vivid dreams and a nice atmosphere, this was the combo. Unfortunately the frap didn't help me much during WBTB. Managed to get another of my from scratch LD pack just before final wake.

Fragments: the whole night was about me and my classmates, back to my hometown and meeting everybody, birthdays, calls, etc. I have enjoyed the set of dreams, the mood was overly positive. There might have been some short lucidity involved pre WBTB but I have little memory. (susp.)

There also were some attractive items in a store, cakes with cream on top, and interesting looking flowers. Later on, a man was in the ladies room with a camera, I found that strange, but needed to dream pee.

LD Pack: I experienced two blackouts during the dream and this I guess made remembering it much harder.

I find myself on the top of a building, in front of me is another building, some kind of balcony and kids are jump falling downwards. This looks pretty weird but as I move forward I see that they falling on the surface of another level. They quickly come to me trying to interact but I am not interested, plus I need to stabilize. I rub my hands and concentrate on the feeling, there is some numbness below one of my thumbs. The dream feels fine, so I turn around and continue to enter the building, some kind of store initially. It seems like I am wearing tons of winter clothes and am sweating. I think at this point the dream fades and I wait.

The dream continues and I rub my hands again. There are little drops of sweat all over my palms, I try to find something to dry myself with and get some paper from my pockets. I go on with entering this store on top of the building and now find myself in some kind of a corridor. I decide it's time for my transformation, so go on all fours and pretend that I am a tiger. To my right is the glass of the corridor, dark outside, and I can see my reflection, the reflection of a tiger. I move around and try to behave like a tiger, roar although not as loud. I look at my paws but they keep shifting, the size of a tiger paw, and morphing between a fist and a paw. My reflection in the glass remains that of a tiger and that gives me some confidence. I keep on roaring and pretend now that I am fighting an invisible enemy so stand on my tiger feet and beat the air in front of me with my paws. At that moment some kind of a strange creepy mask flies out of nowhere straight into me/my face, but I attack/catch it with paws. The dream destabilizes and all is black.

I wait a bit and the dream comes back. More or less the same location but the surroundings have changed. I am happy because everything is much more stable at this point. It looks a lot like some kind of subway passage now. The way splits in two - stairs that do down and some other area that looks more appealing, but following the momentum I go down. Lots of DCs on their way as well. I have the feeling that I will get lost there, so go back up the stairs and to the other area. Some moment if enjoyment again because I was able to go back where I wanted to? It looks like a station and there is a sign with the name and of course I go closer to have a look because I want to know where I am. Dounut station? I concentrate but more letters are added. I realize that what I am doing is pointless, so move to the side. Maybe this isn't such a bad time to get naked, although I am really tired of trying and it not working out. I decide I will let my DCs undress me this time. Gosh I have tons of clothes on me. Anyways a DC woman in front of me is trying to take off my dream green cashmere pullover but stops before it covers my head. Another DC is working on my jeans and panties. This is very close to turning into a dirty scene. But that female DC is just so stuck dealing with my clothes, the dream fades and I find myself in bed. I wait but can't go back and maybe for the best.

Comment: OK, I really hope this is the last dream I am trying to do that. I really have no more interest in it, and my prospective memory should be concentrating on other tasks.

Date: 24 June

Total sleep time: 9 hrs

Pre bed: 200mg valerian

Comments: went to bed extra early, took some valerian and planned to caffeinate myself in the morning. Missed my natural wake, it was really late to WBTB plus caffeine, so just enjoyed my sleep. Got lots of fragments, here the most interesting ones.

Fragment1: I am in someone's house and do something that causes lots of expensive looking plates to fall on the floor. As I am watching them fall they arrange themselves/land softly so nothing is broken, I feel relieved. A butler comes and starts examining the plates, and picks up one with a crack, then breaks it and blames it on me.

Fragment2: I see I young guy from rl (that I am calling from now on) "the preacher". I have some realizations about reality and dreams that I want to share with him because I know he may understand them.

Fragment3: My school teacher wants me to immediately fill out my bank details on a form that is printed on a yellow napkin. My best friend from school invites me to The Offspring concert as she has an extra ticket. I hug her, but say no because the concert is too late?

Fragment4: I am sad about declining the concert invitation and have second thoughts. Now at our first home, I am preparing to go out. The clock shows 8:50 pm and I figure the concert starts at 9. As I prepare the time is 8:20 and I am a bit more relaxed because I am not that late after all.

around 15 mins before final wake, I wake up with full bladder, but want to sleep so roll over

LD: I appear on the street of my hometown, still having some residual thoughts about my best friend, but hey this is a dream! I am truly surprised to make it to a lucid, since I decided to let it go today. Anyways, let's enjoy this. Unfortunately, my bladder is bothering me and it is very hard to concentrate. I rub my hands and the dream is stable. Trying to ignore the bladder, I look around, there are many DCs on the street going their way. The "lucidity DC" task comes to mind and I try to stop someone. First there is a black couple and I say a few words to them about lucidity, but can't finish my sentence as they ignore me and go away. I get another DC woman, and tell her. She nods her head, but I have doubts about her ability to find me in a dream and tell me to become lucid. Therefore I continue terrorizing DCs, looking for someone else to talk to about it.

I turn around the corner and there is the black couple again. I am thinking that it is very weird that I run into the same DCs that I just talked to, especially since I didn't expect to see them. They wear stylish black clothes, woman is with a knee-lenght skirt. This time they are much friendlier, greet me and we shake hands with both of them. Alright! I concentrate and say two-three sentences about them finding me, telling me this is a dream to make me lucid. The very last word of the final sentence was lucid, and I notice how I have just been saying the whole Ld speech with a different accent. Very cool and they like it too. Task done so I leave them and cross the street with many other DCs there. Very crowded today. I continue walking in this still familiar looking street as I run 3 other tasks in my head, but don't feel like I can do any of them right now. As I walk forward and contemplate what to do next, the dream fades and I am back in bed with a slight feeling of the void. I could have DEILDed today, but needed to peeee so badly plus there wasn't much time left.

Pre bed: Gingko, l-arginine

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

Dream quality and recall: Very vivid, unstable, hard to recall all details and honestly didn’t notice them as much

WBTB: >1/2 latte, insomnia mostly caused by heat, dehydration and discomfort due to heavy junk food consumed at dinner

Technique: In the approx. 2 hours of insomnia, I faithfully did all possible techs I could think of, including mantras, SSILD, WILD, noticing dreamlets, initially to induce an ld, but mostly just trying to get back to sleep. As I was dehydrated had to drink some water then go to restroom several times, which made insomnia worse.

Dreamlet: some kind of palm tree as it is being painted

Pre WBTB dream impressions: high vividness, flying, friendly dogs in hometown (can't remember anything, just there was some strangeness involved)

Post WBTB LD Pack 1 (DILD+ 2xDEILD): I finally fall asleep, and find myself in a bus in a familiar city. My bf is to my right and there is a woman in front of me with a baby that she is about to feed. To her left is man, just another passenger that reacts to her moving around. I want to remark that there is not enough space for any action but then notice the hand of the man, he is now a woman and on his palm, slightly below the little finger is what looks like an eye.

An eye on his hand? Alarm! This can only be a dream! I am more excited than usual, possibly because I spotted this eye. I keep looking at it with interest. The eye on the hand is following the movement of the woman with the baby. Soon enough there is a whole face on the palm of that DC. It looks really crazy and cool! I am overjoyed and for some reason decide to shout out loud exactly "Dreamviews", this stabilizes the dream somewhat. Then I begin to ponder about undressing when the dream fades, I quickly pass through the void, and then feel my physical body.

I wait a bit and the dream picks up again. It is as if I am following a dream scenario so my dream self is on the way somewhere. This is very close to where I was previously in the bus. There is a small garden next to the bus station, so I am there, trying to hold on to the dream. I concentrate on the ground and look at the ultra detailed and vivid grass. Reminding me of the movie Gladiator, I have a moment of enjoyment touching and playing with lots of beautifully looking grass ears. They have a slight pinkish hue and are not like any grass type I have seen. As I move my hand from one grass ear to another, the dream slowly fades, I go through the void, and am back in bed.

I wait some more and the dream is back, but this time it is super unstable. If I remember correctly at this point I also get some of my dream paralysis, being unable to move my hand/shoulder (right one this time), but I try to ignore it, adjust my posture and it somehow disappears. I am more or less on the same place, I am trying to make my dream body behave according to a fake dream scenario and pretend that I am going somewhere again. On the street, facing a traffic lights pole, the dream is slipping away. I hug/grasp the pole and try to hold on to it, feel it, etc, then remember all that discussion about making out with the dream. I stretch out my tongue and start licking the pole with all might, but initially don't feel anything. I keep on licking until finally there is a distinct sensation of my tongue and the pole is more solid. The dream fades and I am back in bed - I have been moving my real tongue as well!

I decide to visit the restroom and continue with my efforts to fall asleep.

Random lucid fragment: I remember looking at the sky and seeing some strange white transparent ghost-like bird. I follow its flight and remember the other lucid where birds were transparent. My thinking is that maybe this is an OBE and real creatures look like that. I try to interact with the bird by calling it, exerting some kind of dream control on it.

Non-ld: Some kind of a FA, in our bedroom, with bf and Angela Merkel comes in. I am very happy that I will finally have the chance to ask her a few questions about her meetings and the state of the world economy. My memory is vague, but we talk about something, the dream fades and I wake up.

Struggling to fall asleep again.

LD Pack 2 (WILD + 2xDEILD): Because of the going in and out of the void, my memory is really elusive with this one, although it was very vivid and each part lasted a while.

I find myself in what vaguely reminds me of my ex-room. My boyfriend is sleeping in the bed. I notice that it is kind of dark (but not totally dark), so more out of habit than rational thinking, I head to where the light switch is, find a different looking light switch, give it a bit of a thought "What am I doing, expecting the room to become better lit after using a dream switch?", find this absurd, but turn on the light nevertheless. There is a slight change and some more light. It's ok. I am in mischievous mood, so decide to wake up my bf's DC. No way this DC puppet is my bf, it looks like him but I know it's not him. On with my task "assign a lucidity DC", I engage in a long talk with fake bf DC, explaining to him that he should keep on reminding me that this is a dream. He looks kind of dumb and doesn't respond anything and there is something creepy about him as well. I am starting to have regrets about waking this DC up. There is also some aggressive buzzing, some object is pushing me just next my right foot, I can feel it there, and really don't want to have anything to do with it or the fake bf DC. I look down trying to brush the small aggressor away, but there is nothing there, just my clothes and body....the dream destabilizes, passing throughout the void....I remain still.

Back to the same room, but of course it has changed a bit. It is on the ground floor and leads to an inside yard. One other thing that is worth noting is that I also heard some music playing in the background while in the room, it stopped while in the void, and then resumed with the dream. It is bright and sunny outside, autumn hues lit by the sun. My mood reflects the scene and the scene my mood. I am holding a bottle of coke, wonder whether I should leave it, but notice how much better I feel with my hands around an object. I continue walking, there are residential buildings surrounding the yard and it is raining and sunny at the same time. I want to have some fun with the rain, enjoy the scene. I lift up in the air in exhilaration, this lasts a while and as I am midair the dream fades and I am in my bed.

I know what to do, I wait and then wait some more. This time it is harder, but the dream comes back (same place). I feel my head touching the branch of a tree. It is as if I landed on the tree with my forehead. I shortly wonder whether this sensation may come from my physical body, but dismiss the thought. On the ground now, and happy to be back in this nice place. I notice a puddle and sure enough there is my reflection staring back at me. My dream reflection looks great, smiling, and my hair is just perfect. (It rarely looks that well styled irl) Naturally, I am impressed by this and especially by the flawless hairstyle.

Then it dawns on me that this was TOTM and I remember CL's comment that it seems like I always try to do all TOTM in one dream. At that moment, I am super confident that I will be able to do all the tasks even if the dream interrupts. The problem is I never memorized all 5 because of my task flexibility goal this month, so I try very hard to remember what they all were. I remember that with the dinosaur egg and look around. The yard is merging into an open room with all kinds of junk objects on the floor. I am looking for an egg. There are two balls, and one changes to have the hard surface of an egg and elongates slightly and there we have it - a perfect red egg the size of an ostrich's egg. (Finally some positive side effect of dream instability). I put the egg under my butt and start hatching it, holding it with one hand. It cracks and I expect something to come out and then of course the dream destabilizes and I am in the void in a strange position and feeling my body as well. I wait and wait but nothing happens this time, so I wake up and try to remember as much as possible before it fades.

Counted as 2 Lds (official) and 1 micro ld (info only).

PS: Writing this whole thing took much longer than dreaming it.

Date: 20 June

Pre bed: 200 mg valerian, 100mg B6, podcast

Atmosphere: guest, heat, noises

Total sleep time: 6 hrs

DILD1: I am in our old neighborhood with my mom and a truck driver discussing something. I don't like him. The next moment the three of us are in a public restroom and it looks like he used it just before we did. I get obsessed about not wanting to touch the toiler paper after him, I notice there is something on the paper, plus it is all soaked. My mom comes up with some napkins from her bag that I also don't want to use.

The scene changes and we find ourselves in a movie theater. A fake memory forms that we just watched some movie, went to the restroom, and now mom is sneaking in to watch the next movie for free. One thing that looks unusual is that there is only one single long row of seats, but at the time, I conclude that this is normal. My mom sits while I try to leave the place. I spend some time waiting for her, and in the meantime she is looking for 3D glasses. I notice lots of sunglasses on the floor, that I identify as mine as start putting them in my bag. I head towards the exit, but the door is locked, there is no handle too. I get a fake memory that this is normal during movies. I think I use some form of dream control and the door opens, but behind it is another door which I open the normal way.

I find myself in a long somewhat creepy corridor with strangely colored walls, that reminds of dreams I had. And sure enough, I become lucid. I stare at the walls for a while, wondering if I should go ahead and plunge in them, but based on gut feeling decide against it. I move forward a bit but suddenly I get a sensation that my hair band is falling and my head feels kind of uncomfortable, up to the point where it is so distracting I cannot continue walking? I wonder if I should waste time to try and fix a ponytail but know this is a bad idea to do during an ld, so just remove the hair band and my hair feels fine. (talk about vanity )

I keep walking down the corridor that dynamically changes and become a bit like an inside balcony, and I can see part of the floor below. As I reach the end of the corridor/now balcony and look to my left the light downstairs goes off. Downstairs looks a bit creepy and I say something like "Oh, come on", but then hear some kind of a click sound and the light is on again. Then off again and finally on. What the hell is going on, I think. I turn around and something like a room is beginning to form. There are many DCs here, mostly children and a guy, they all look pretty much the same, very blond with red cheeks. I find this strange and the guy is not quite finished in the face, some of his features are not there so he is not very pleasant to look at. I decide I don't need to concentrate that much on him. I think about some of my goals. The first one that comes to mind is "assign a lucidity DC", so I start shouting at these strange blond DCs something about them and lucidity. Most of them don't pay me any attention, but my voice is so loud, I wonder if I am doing this irl too.

Then I look around, have a moment of aha realization as I remember the naked task. Of course, with so many DCs in the room, it is perfect for the task. So I first try to memorize the place and DCs a bit more (to be able to describe in detail, the way I do it, it is really bad for stability!) In front of me is a strange looking desk and three kids, one of them has silver sparkle decorations on his face. This time I am wearing only underwear with my casual type of bra. Just as I figure an easy way to take it off, the dream abruptly ends and I find myself back in bed.

I am very aware of body and need to go to the restroom. As I get back to bed I struggle with the heat, and am interrupted by the alarm of the guest, who always sets it hours earlier than he needs to wake up and leave. I really don't understand this. Insomnia...and then finally asleep for a bit.

DILD2: The dream begins as I am concentrating on my hands, trying to hold them still as possible, I get this floating feeling, expecting to transition. I then look around and understand that I am already in the dream. It is a small room, I start rubbing my hands vigorously, paying attention to the effect. The dream stabilizes for a while. I remember "the task" and search for DC audience. There are two male DCs on the bed, one on top of the other (doing nothing and with clothes on), and the other is asleep. They look very lifeless and I wonder if I should leave the room - door is just in front of me, but I get the feeling that might throw the dream out of balance and decide to wait. "Let me first get naked, then I'll see about the audience". I check my clothes - jeans (that later turn to shorts), socks, and a T-shirt. I start with the T-shirt but as it covers my eyes, it gets a bit entangled around my head, and I as get it off I lose my sight and end up in the void.

This annoys me but my anger turns into podcast inspired stubbornness and I keep trying to resume with the dream taking my shorts off and one sock while in the void. A moment later the dream picks up from exactly the same place. I expect at this point not to be wearing shorts anymore, but as I look down I have two pairs of shorts one on each leg. It's funny and reminds me of OB and her blankets. I go and sit on the bed which is now on the opposite side of the room, or is it another bed? I contemplate a bit of whether I really need to be sitting to more easily get rid of my shorts and remaining sock, but conclude it feels more comfortable that way. The dream fades and I wake.

The guest finally wakes up too, so that was it for today.

Comment: Stuff has been piling up and I just don't have enough time to properly journal, so here is a summary of the notable things during the last few days.

Sleep quality: I guess the caffeine frenzy of last week is taking it's toll and as I have been very sleepy in the last few days, to the point where I just can't do a proper WBTB

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Date: 16 June

pre bed: brain multivits

The key words never made it to a proper journal entry. This is the second time I take those multivits, they have increased vividness, and added some unpleasant dreams and aggressive DC behavior, similar to last time I took them but a bit less emotional. I also had a guest related FA with unpleasant contents, after I was woken up by guest that came for the weekend.

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Date: 17 June

pre bed: SJW

WBTB: p.oil capsules, 1/2 latte

Pre wbtb dream1: From the notes "Obe" and some other word I can't read. I checked with my feelings, and I get nothing. It is very unlikely that this was Obe/lucid, so this doesn't qualify even as suspicious.

Fragment2: I am looking through the HI lights but they are in the dream. I am able to see some events form in the lights/fog and conclude that I have developed special abilities irl.

WBTB: I was very sleepy and spent less that the desired time out of bed, so couldn't quite wake myself up. Fell asleep too fast.

Dream3: This dream was very long and vivid. I am first in some kind of bar talking to an interesting (in a non-sexual way) DC, that resembles a friend of mine, but he turns out gay and doesn't want to pay me any attention after the truth about him comes out? It is the middle of the night so I head home in some unknown city, have a difficult time finding my way back, but conclude it is because I am drunk.

I keep on roaming these unfamiliar streets, trying to find some transportation when I run into an old friend of mine. We have a very realistic conversation, and it feels like I am talking to the real person. It is quite late but he invites me to join them in another place where we can continue drinking. I look at my phone, that looks quite normal to see what time it is. Me and old friend are going to someplace but end up instead in the house of a female DC that starts seducing my friend. I try to leave the place and get my friend out of there.

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Date: 18 June

Comments: I was sleeping very heavily again, got short-ld that I count as micro ld just before final wake

Mini-ld: I find myself in a room attracted to an unpleasant male DC. This looks very suspicious and I realize this is a dream. Unfortunately my impulses are stronger than me and I still decide to go ahead after doing a RC and taking some precautionary measures.

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Date: 19 June

Comments: decided to take a break from journaling, WBTB, etc.

Dream quality and recall: vivid, recall of the last dreams was good

Dream1 micro -ld: I am on the street and lucid. Something that I hold in my hand draws my attention, it is a spherical object, the size of a tenis-ball. Didn't have much chance to look at it because this thing although a hard object is actually alive and somewhat aggressive, so I grasp with with all force, trying to move my hand and just throw it away. This is not possible because the object is very strong and has gravitational heaviness. I think I wake up after some struggle, then fall back to sleep.

Dream2: interesting story about some girl

Dream3: long vivid dream of me in some city

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Progress with goals as the 19th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (23/100)
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (19/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (8/10)
- 10 morning RCs (6/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (1/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 7 (not counted)
suspicious events: 3 (not counted)

Date: 13 June

Not very funny FA and LD chain

Total sleep time: 4 hrs

Comments: Tonight definitely was a bad time to go for a lucid. We had a sleep over guest and I was nervous I had to wake up the same time as our guest and no idea when that would be. I repeated the same combo as yesterday (but had different results?), did SSILD to help with sleep and induce ld. I got into a rather nasty FA chain. The resulting lucidity was not to be envied either.

Pre bed: Gingko

WBTB: I was woken up, had 1/2 RB about half an hour later. Trouble falling asleep.

Fragment: A DC that looks like my father shows aggressive attitude

FA1: I am in bed and guest is knocking on the door, saying he is leaving now. I hear him and partially see him, but I also see some other layer with my reflection on it. I decide that I am dreaming the second layer, while he is trying awake me irl. I tell him to leave me alone and come back later because I am just either lucid or missing a FA.

FA2: I am in bed, and there is trash, food leftovers and other stuff on the bedsheets. I find it a bit strange but swipe it aside and continue sleeping.

FA3: I wake up and go to the toilet. I look myself in the mirror. I look terrible, my face is swollen. I think "What have I done, this is probably because of the supps/RB". As if that isn't enough, I feel a very strong pressure in my head. Ahhhh

FA4 and DILD: I wake up and go to pee. Some nonexistent pipe breaks down and starts rhythmically pumping out water. I think this is too bad to be real life, and question the nature of reality. The pipe keeps pumping water, flooding the place, so I run into the room where our guest is sleeping to ask for help. He comes in the bathroom but it is not him at all, but a strange looking DC that has something not very human in his posture? I finally conclude that this can only be a dream. I go to the corridor, the strange DC next to me and an older lady. The dream gets distorted, images from other places appear in my mind, while I am thinking of an efficient way to leave our place. The dream disintegrates.

DILD2: I renter some place but the DCs there keep getting in my way so I cannot go as I would like to. the dream fades

DILD3: I am in another apartment, a geeky looking DC is trying to get my attention. I don't want to be here. I notice a large cupboard and am tempted to try passing through it. I am mostly wondering if I will be able to overcome the solidity and also see what will happen once I get in there. The cupboard is initially solid, but I push myself forward and it suddenly swallows me into the darkness with a strange gulp like sound. There is something very watery to that ex cupboard space, and I feel as if I am underwater. Very interesting, I think to myself. I swim forward ending in the void, the underwater sensations fading away. Back to my physical body, I may have even moved my real hands a bit while in the void.

DILD4: Another dream starts and I am in an apartment again. A number of daring DCs are here as well. I try to go on my way, but this DC woman gets in front of me holding a bread knife. I notice that we are in the kitchen, and try to make her engage in slicing the bread that is there, instead of behaving menacingly. I meet resistance and am unable to control her much. I am adjusting my mood as not to expect her to do anything to me, trying to be as non-reactionary as possible. She has the knife in one hand and gets a cleaver in the other. I struggle with her hand, also attempting to grab the knife from time to time, while being careful not to cut myself. I know this is dream and I don't care so much, but I am annoyed that things aren't going my way. There is someone else pushing me, causing me discomfort and mild pain. I move away a bit, feeling exhausted and desperate.

Since the dream is going nowhere, I allow the DC woman to get me, but now she has other intentions. I organize a pleasurable indecent scene and wake up shortly after.

I wake up and go to the restroom and check out my reflection in the mirror. I look terrible. I RC. Tired, nervous and annoyed I consider if I want to go back to sleep. Shortly journal, then try to fall asleep but it is too late.

This nightmare approximates to official count of 2 Lds? and 2 micro lds.

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Date: 14 June

Total sleep time: 8 hrs

Sleep quality and recall: Deep restorative sleep, below average recall

Pre bed: Gingko

Bedtime dreamlet: There is a discussion about the advantages of living in China vs living in France. It seems that living in China is much better. I am entering China, zooming in trying to determine my location. Very hard to describe I see the land and plants as if I am on the ground yet it is in the shape of the map of China. There are blackberries that represent each city in China, and are very close together which means very crowded.

I realize that I am falling asleep and pull back from the dream, trying to commit it to memory.

WBTB: very tired after yesterday's lack of sleep, so I just couldn't do it

Dream1: I am on the street and there is a house to my left. Xanous comes from there. We talk about something. A friend of mine comes, I can't remember now if Xanous knows him.

Xanous is now gone somewhere. Me and my friend are trying to have a shared dream via DV but actually don't know that we are having a shared dream with each other. What are the odds? I tell this realization to my friend and we are happy. He invites me to his place where I have been in dreams. I check out the furniture. He leads me through the corridor, but I insist on having a look at the bedroom. There is a sliding door, double bed with white bed sheets, and a wardrobe with a mirror to the left.

Fragment2: My class meets again, this time boys only. I don't know why I am here and they behave like idiots. I look at them and have a strange feeling that something is not quite right here (as in this is a dream!) but continue being involved in the scene.

Progress with goals as the 14th morning:

- Do 100 RCs (15/100) *
- notice real life DS 100 times and RC (17/100)
- 10 proper WBTB attempts -> days (6/10)
- 10 morning RCs (3/10)
- 2 proper WILD attempts (0/2)
- task flexibility
- journal flexibility

*I am also practicing some ADA, so it is not as bad as it seems, although I need to increase the RCs

LDs: 12 (official count)
micro-lds: 4 (not counted)
suspicious events: 2 (not counted)