dream fragment

Still half asleep, but I need to write this out. I cannot forget this one, there was too much.

It began by me moving in with my parents, or thinking about it. The house was really strange, there was a bar that seemed to sit underneath the house, but it was still outside. I was excited that me and my son were going to live with them. I remember talking to my mom about how I'd stay and help out until I found my own house. I invited some friends over, someone I had just met and a few others I knew. My aunt and uncle had shown up too. I was on a bed in a bedroom with one of my girl-friends and we were listening to the wind howling. It started to sound like voices and we started to freak out. Then I realized what it might be. It started to sound REALLY creepy. I told my friend to hold on and got close to the window and was looking out, it was daylight. My suspicion was confirmed when my uncle and dad came out and started laughing at us.

Then we're back in the living room and my uncle and dad are sitting at the table with my friends and they're all laughing playing cards and having a good time. I'm standing off to the side with my mom and my aunt. My aunt starts to tell me how f'ed up I was as a child. She told me I would try eating and selling ants when I was FIVE years old. My reaction, I was super pissed, because I knew this was a lie. I could remember being five. I told her that was fucked up and that she didn't know the truth. She and my mom were shaking their heads at me. I couldn't believe they thought of me this way. I started to get really angry about it, practically yelling at them for lying. My friends had all stopped and stared. I told my aunt that she was ALWAYS trying to prove that I was a fucked up person/druggie/what not. (Semi True. She has checked my wrists for shooting up one time just because I was wearing a beanie...) I got too worked up and decided to calm down. I told them to forget it and I'd stop talking about it.

Then I walked over to the table and everyone was having a good time again. I looked up at the stereo and there was some crappy oldies playing, maybe from the seventies or eighties. I asked my dad if it would be ok if I changed it. One girl agreed with me. My dad firmly said NO. I couldn't believe he wouldn't let me change the music. I told him that wasn't fair and the girl agreed. He told me no again.

At this point, my mom, my dad, we were all fighting. I stopped in the middle and politely asked my friends if they would leave or come back later. They all got up and left. I started to run around and get my things because I realized I COULD go home to my husband. I was having troubles getting all my things together. My son was sleeping in his chair. Me and my mom were fighting, and I can hardly remember what about, but it was intense, and very realistic to how we used to fight. I needed to get the carseat for my son which I realized was in her bedroom. I went to go get it and she followed me. I saw the lock on the door and stopped, because I knew she was going to lock me in to get me to stay. I kept trying to get her away from the door but she just wouldn't go. I went into the living room and picked up my son and held him on my lap. It was late at night now. I was going to wait til she fell asleep. I'm sitting there with my son on my lap, he's awake now. I'm staring at the clock above the TV and suddenly it's like time just passed without me even noticing. The clock read 1:57 PM. I looked at my mom and said no way. I haven't seriously been sitting here this whole time, awake, staring, along with my kid being awake on my lap. My mom nodded at me yes, that I was. I almost became lucid, because I couldn't believe it, but I ended up accepting it.

I got up and left finally. I took my kid home to my husband and was telling him some of what happened. Then I needed to go to the store for something and I go. I see my parents in the store and am trying to avoid them, so I slip in and grab a whole clothing rack of baby clothes. I took them to the register, and I accidently went behind the register coming around. In the area where employees are supposed to be only. They thought I was strange, but I got to the register and realized there were baby girl clothes in the mix that I didnt need. So I started pulling out the ones I didn't like as I walked back over to where I had gotten the clothes. My sister was with my parents, they were all shopping and seemed fine. They saw me but they didnt' speak to me. I went up to the shampoo and conditioner and wanted to try it out. It was strange looking, they were both in seperate, short, orange cylinder-looking jars. My mom said something about me coming back to the house and I nodded. I went back.

My friends were all there again. I was telling one how I was going to try this shampoo and I opened it. They laughed and asked if they should go get me a towel. I was like, OH, shit, maybe I can make it home in time to rinse it out. They laughed again. I put it in my hair and somehow must've rinsed it because I started putting the conditioner in my hair too. I suddenly realized I took too long and T, my husband, would be worried about me. I told J, my friend that I had to run but I'd be back. He shrugged. I also saw the guy I had just met, his name was Ian, I don't know any Ians. Anyway. I got distracted again with movies, J was watching a movie. I can't remember what it was, but I looked down at the dvds and saw "What Dreams May Come" and said, heyyy, this was the movie you told me to watch right? He looked at me questionably. I said nvm and got up to leave. I went outside and realized Ian had a split personality, that there HAD been two people here before and I realized it was the same guy, IAN. Idk.. I figured it out.

I leave and go home and T is gone. I had just gotten there and was putting my things away. Then he comes in asking where the hell was I. I told him that I had been at my parents and had taken more time then I thought I would. He didn't believe me at all. He started to accuse me of doing something else, but I interuppted, and told him to call J because I had JUST been with him not five minutes ago. He started to laugh, I knew we didn't have a cell phone. I told him to go to his moms and borrow her cell. He laughed again and said he had a device that allowed ppl to TEXT him. He said his daughter texted him all the time. I was like wtf... you have a DAUGHTER?? He laughed like he was just fucking with me. I'm holding the device and see a text from a girl I used to babysit. I thought it was weird. I start to feel weary because I hadn't slept. I think me and T started to fight, but everything after this gets hazy.

I think I woke up, thought about taking notes down because it was a very long dream... and I didn't want to forget it. I fell asleep again though and I went back in the dream I think... but then I was with someone who had a bunch of kids on her lap laying down. They had something wrong with them and she had chopped their heads in half surgically, they were still alive. They started to collapse in on eachother and the little boy's brain was pressed together so hard that it started to ooze. It was really gross. I told her and she popped the little girl on the side, rolling her eyes. She said the little girl was putting too much pressure on him...

I'm not sure, I remembered more earlier, now I don't... The strange thing about this all is that I went to bed only less than three hours ago. And I know this sounds weird, but sometimes I pray... and it is my birthday. I prayed that I would have vivid, meaningful, long, and possibly lucid dreams. And I'm kind of freaked out. I don't pray religiously really... I'm not a christian, I just pray for positive reinforcement, but I DO pray to God. It's how I was raised, so it's the guru in my head. Anyway, I just think it's really strange and that this dream MEANS somethng... I couldn't even go to back to sleep without typing it. I started taking notes and it took up too much room, so I had to come in here and type it. I'm still half asleep and the wind IS howling, it's creepy. I had to turn on Modest Mouse. I'm a little freaked out from what I experienced in the dream... hopefully I can go back to sleep...

There ARE things I missed, but I have to get up early and I don't want to go back and put the pieces in. Maybe I'll remember when I wake up, who knows... if I can even sleep. Goodnight...

06/10/11

There was a plague of some sort and everyone was getting sick. A lot of people were gathered together in this hospital type place, it was huge. Like an airport, it had restaraunts and what not. I believe it was my 21st birthday and I had two people with me, they were people I knew, but I cannot think of who they were. We went inside a restaraunt because we were hungry and I wanted to celebrate.

After this, I'm walking through one of the hallways and start coughing up blood. I knew I had it. So I found a room that I could slowly die in. Strange enough, I seemed to have accepted my upcoming death, even though I knew it would be slow and painful.

06/11/11

Took a nap, fell asleep watching the X-Files.

Soo, needless to say, my dream was a little creepy. It was nighttime and I forgot to shut my window. I heard someone mowing our lawn with headlights and it was really scary. I was crouched down on the floor with my son, hoping they wouldn't look in the window.

Also remember alien ghosts and JUST remembered I did become lucid. There was FBI everywhere and it was daylight again. I jumped off the ground hoping to fly, but I came back down and woke up.

06/12/11

I was in a large building and there was a room with a curtain and inside there were two showers across from eachother. I wanted to shower and had no towel, so I walked across to another room just like it where there were a couple people. I can't remember if they were showering or not. I recognized a towel that we have in WL and as I went to grab it I asked to make sure nobody was using it. They told me that some girl was. I was slightly annoyed because I knew it was my towel. I walked back to the other room and began to undress. I left the curtain open and it didn't seem to matter to me. It felt alright, nobody cared. Like a Co-Ed locker room or something...

I'm in the shower and notice my grandpa walks in. (somewhere between that last sentence and this next one I changed clothes.) He was talking to me about a game, like he was my coach. He wanted me to exercise but he said something like, "Ohh, you might not want to spend THIS time training." I didn't really feel like working out but I didn't want to disappoint him. I told him I didn't mind. I can't remember anything else.

I was in Island Park (real place), a man promised a real trip. I know it meant acid. I felt anticipation and then rejection when it did not come through.

Then I'm traveling somewhere. My dream cars are almost always like clown cars. Like I'm oversized or the car is too little, and I feel like there is never a roof. Anyway.. I'm driving and going over hills and I notice I can see the outlines of the states and it's like I'm driving on a map. I was between Kansas and Missouri. I felt lost and I didn't know where I was supposed to be going, but I know I had a destination. I don't know if I was being followed the whole time or if anyone had been with me, but I remember shouting at someone in another car, telling them I was bound to get lost and I needed help. It was someone I knew, but that's all I know about them.

According to my memory, next I was in some sort of forest, but it was slightly cartoon-like. I might've been in the same dream, because I know more came before this, but all I can remember is thinking of Yogi Bear and then a bear-like creature appeared. At that moment, I felt I had just figured out something big. Something spiritual, something for myself. In fact, thinking the name Yogi, the appearence of the creature, and the epiphany-like feeling all hit me simultaneously. I wish I could remember more about this part, because it's making me think of my spirit guide.

>>> Later on, during a nap.

I'm dreaming of being at work (where I had just been.) I'm sitting on pot of chili along with a friend, and it actually felt quite awkward, but I was supposed to sit on it to keep it warm. Then once it was at the right temp, we were supposed to stick it on the stove-top. I also remember talking to a co-worker about one of the managers and something that was going on with him. I remember looking around and realized that the manager I was talking about had been staring at me the whole time. I pretended that I didn't say anything.

Tried to WILD. I got my body into SP, or just about. I was like this for an hour before I turned over to just sleep. I kept getting a small vibration in my ear at every small sound I heard. Is that normal for you guys? I've felt it before trying to enter SP, does anyone know what that is?

Anyway, rolled over and had a dream. I was at some kind of cook-out family thing at my moms house. My cousins were there, and my sisters. I had my son and T with me. I was going in and out of rooms. I saw my oldest sister in one room, and she was kind of acting like she used to when we were living together. Like her teenage self again. I remember seeing my other sister, but she was being stand-offish, like me a little. My oldest sister, I'm not sure how she was doing this, I can't remember her really saying anything to me, but she seemed to be trying to pry at me like start a fight. Kind of acting like I was having a bad attitude and she was going to make it a scene, I don't know.

So I was getting kind of pissed off and wanting to leave. In my head we had been there for a couple hours already, so I went into the living room and saw my mom on the couch. It took me a second to focus on T sitting next to her, I raised my eyebrows (something we do when we wanna leave someplace) and he nodded. We started to get W's things together when my mom was kind of like, "ahh are you leaving already? I'm cooking chicken, don't you guys wanna eat?" I told her it sounded good, and I sat down on the couch. I started ranting to her about how D, my oldest sister was being. She didn't really listen, and T made it look like we were going to stay and eat.

I went outside and for some reason there were people standing at a stop light next to their car. They actually were dancing to some techno in the middle of the street. It looked like fun and I went and joined in for a bit. Then I'm walking back to the house and there's an election going on, something for the city.

Everyone's in these pews and the little electronic voting things are behind this pulpit or w/e. Everyone's getting seated, my sisters and mom and dad are in the back row. T's voting in the thingy. I get up to go talk to him. I've got W in his carseat and I'm carrying his bags. T comes out from behind the thing and we're looking for somewhere to sit. This old man pats the pew next to him and I laugh for some reason. Then we notice an newly empty pew and we sit.

There's a comedian of some sort on the stage thingy and he was being kind of funny. Apparently he had some of his friends down in the corner at the front and they were laughing all annoyingly giving their friend shit. I got a close look at one of his friends and it looked a lot like the cable guy. Ugh.

Then I'm outside again and I was getting outa my car for some reason, going back inside to see T and W. I take my seatbelt off and my shirt comes off. I get out of the car before I realize I'm only in my bra. As I'm walking back to my car, this girl comes out of a clothing store, she's dressed really preppy and my first thought was, she got the job. Then she says something a long the lines of "I've already dealt with enough dirty whores today, please." I was shocked. She was walking toward her bike rather quickly now. I started following her, still in my bra, pissed off. She seemed a little scared and I asked her what her problem was. I grabbed the bag that was in her hand and slammed it down. She almost got to her bike, but I beat her and pushed it over, getting in her face. I was so ready to tear her up. She moved and started walking away from the bike. I picked up the bike about to throw it at her, I ended up sitting it down. I was going to go inside, but she said something else to make me mad. She was on the ground, not sur ehow she got there, but I kicked her really hard in the belly.

As I did I saw a cop go by on a street about 10 feet away. I hurried and hid in the entrance of the place where T was. I saw the cop pull in. The girl was still on the ground where I left her. I almost went inside to sit down, but I figured they'd find me and it'd make a big scene. So I stayed put, but I was really scared and hating myself for what I did. Then I hit denial. I said fuck this, this is a dream and I made myself wake up.

I went back to sleep. I was at my moms again, same cook out. I was standing outside with my cousin, so I thought, then he started yelling at me. Then I'm inside with my mom and she tells me she needs to show me a video. It's a video of me and it was telling me about "all the drama" I cause in the family. I couldn't believe that she thought of me like this. One term, brightly bolded, like they were trying to sell the damn thing said "Dramatic Darkness" is what it called me. My mom was almost in tears, like it was some kind of intervention thing. I gave her a really disgusted look, angry because I knew her and my family absolutely didn't understand me at that moment. I got up to leave and she said if I left then me and T would have no place to stay anymore. (I don't live with her, I have no idea what that was about.) I said, "That's great mom, reject your daugther and your grandson. You know, mom, W is all I have now." Then I gave her more attitude, mockingly, said "yes I know this is more 'dark drama'!" Then I was going around to grab all the stuff. I went into the kitchen and I didn't leave, I cried.

Before me and her got into it, me and T had also had a fight, I just can't remember much about that one.

Also, I can't remember if the following bit is from my nap or last night's dream, but I remembered something else.

Being on a bike path of some sort with my friend A and she was guiding me around it.

So I'm at this place, and there are people waiting on these little subway type things. Some of the people were a few of my friends. One of them, A, was handing out blotter acid. Instead of the paper though, these were transparent and had the look of cotton, but the texture was like those stale "bread" crums you get at church.

I had my son with me, but it was like three in the morning and he was sleeping in his carseat. We were sitting on this bench outside. I told her I better not, then I changed my mind. I took two of these acid tablets and realized I could get my mom to babysit. I try to call on her, but my friends were shaking their heads at me. They all left me there with my son, getting ready to trip. I started tripping, no visuals, but I had an extreme body high.

I remember that it started to wear off fairly quick, and I remember being home and getting online. I was upset that my friends ditched me on acid. I got on aim to talk to someone. I remember talking to him but I have no idea what was said.

The dream faded.

I'm in a gas station now and my friend, A, is with me again. I'm behind the register, which is a little role-reversal, my friend is the one that worked at this station. Anyway, Danny Carey, the drummer from Tool, walks in. Everyone in the store was like shiit it's Danny Carey. I was blown away. He was in a hurry and told us he had a meeting to go to soon. So I let him cut, he's f'n Danny Carey! lol My friend does something to where she payed for his stuff and he payed her back or some shit. So I had to sign some huge ticket and Danny starts to leave. Before he is out the door I say, " Heyyy, next time you swing by, you better have Maynard with you."

He laughed and smiled and said "Alright! I will do that!" lol The whole thing felt so real, like how it would've happened if it did in real life. So I sort of feel like I met Danny Carey.

<33

I hate getting redirected. Lost EVERYfuckingTHING!

Ok. Pardon me, please.

I was at home with my parents. I can't remember what we were doing, except my mom had a bunch of lighters with a flower and some fancy little writing. I can't remember what it said, but each lighter was in different colors, same design. For some reason, my dad was really irritated with me. Everytime I spoke he got very angry. I have no idea what I was doing and I was so confused in the dream. I was trying to figure out what was wrong but he just kept getting angrier. So I went and sat by my mom in another room. I was crying and trying to talk to her, but it was really hard to do.

My dad came into the room with his arm raised. He was getting ready to hit me really hard and I was so scared. I had never felt that scared of somebody before. I remember closing my eyes, crying still, prepared for it. Then he stopped. I got up to leave. I went outside and realized I was standing in a parking lot.

I was pushing a cart and started to run. I noticed ice all over the ground and I was sliding. I didn't want to fall so I kind of started skating to slow myself down. I couldn't see my car and I wasn't sure if it was even there. I walked over a few rows and saw my car. I reached it and then a cop was standing beside me. He grabbed a cup that I hadn't noticed was in my hand. He checked the cup, as if suspecting alcohol. I let him and then he was asking me what happened.

I just told him I got into a fight with my parents, I didn't want dad to get into trouble. The cop said something about being underage. I was about to tell him that I'm an adult when my parents came out and were getting into the car. My dad saw the cop and gave me look of disgust. I told him I didn't call them and the cop started asking him questions. I decided to leave.

I was getting into my car and I noticed J's truck sitting next to my car. He was in the drivers seat, staring at me. He had a soft sympathetic look on his face. I got out to say goodbye and I saw my son in his passenger seat. I went around the truck and picked up my son. I was about to buckle him into his car seat when I woke up.

So, I guess it was a good thing I got redirected because I remembered more details that time, like the ice all over the parking lot. Crazy dream...

Forgot to mention, in waking life, me and my father get along and are very close. =/

I was laying in a hospital bed. Took me a minute to realize that I was in labor. I was kind of freaking out and T was standing beside me as we were waiting on the Doctor M. I told T that I didn't understand, because I hadn't been to a check up in quite a few months, not to mention, we hadn't even had an ultrasound. We didn't know what it was going to be. He said we hadn't been in because we ran out of insurance. =/

I mentioned to T that I didn't think I was in labor just yet, and that we should wait. Then I realized that my lower back had been aching all day, and said maybe it was going to happen soon. Then doctor came in and delivered my baby. It was a boy. I don't even remember it happening, but I saw him laying in a crib next to my son, W. I didn't even notice that I hadn't named him yet.

The doctor gave me the bill which was so ridiculously high, it was about 1500. Probably more than that IWL. I was upset about it and was trying to figure out how to get some deductions. There was a nurse and my doctor standing in the hall and smoking cigarettes. =/

Can't remember anymore than that.

5/30/11 during a late nap

It was raining and I was at home getting ready to go to the store because my son needed wipes or something. It took me a minute because I couldn't decide what I should wear. I felt like I was taking too long and didn't want to get caught in the storm. I picked up my son and was walking to the store. I might've been heading to my car. Next I remember walking across the parking lot.

This morning.

I was in a strange place where half of the town was sitting on water. I was trying to leave, but the roads and everything would shake and wave every now and then and I had to hold on to something. I remember someone explaining to me how they got half the town on the water and I thought it was weird that they would want to do that. I start to drive on the road and am going uphill into a curve. I see two exits, each with a weird symbol, might have been a single number on each one, can't remember though. As I came up on the two exits I couldn't decide which one would take me out of town. So I slow down, realizing I'm stopping traffic and I ask a guy that's coming out of the tunnel in front of me, which one goes out of town. He pointed at the other one and said it went to a bank. Suddenly I see people in line at the exit he pointed at. So I get out of the car and start to go up the other one and there are stairs. When I get to the top I remember it being another place like a bank.

I leave and am driving when my sister gets in the car and tells me she needs to drive around to the bank. I go around once, she said I did it wrong or didn't put the money in right. So I drive around again. This is all I can remember.

I was walking somewhere with T and realized there was a tornado just maybe 20 feet or so away. I remember the light dirty brown color and it swirling, and I saw a twister coming out from the side and breaking off, but it was a darker smoky color. I told T we needed to get out of there, but he said we'd be okay. Then it hovered closer and passed. I saw two more in the distance and thought how amazing it was to be that close to a tornado and not get hurt.

I was fighting, as usual, with T and my oldest sister for some reason. I can hardly remember anything except me telling my sis, D, to punch me in the arm as hard as she could and she did and I made some joke afterwards, trying to mend the tension. It didn't seem to work.

I do remember saying something to T, like I was tired of it, and if I leave and he doesn't stop me, then I will be gone for good.

Okay, I did pretty good today. The first time I woke up I remember I was in my in-laws basement. I was talking to my brother-in-law about ping pong balls or something. (we had been playing beer pong last night over there, so... yea.)

Then I went back to sleep and had a few dreams that I cannot seem to put in order at the moment. I remember I had traveled somewhere, Florida, I think. I was thinking of picking someone up that was there, well, that I thought was there. Then I told someone I was heading to Canada to hang out with someone. I think I was talking about the member and a very good friend, Seroquel. =)

Anyway, I had also been with a bunch of people in this house that seemed to be in a woodsy-type area. I remember my husband standing across from me and I was wearing my swimsuit and dancing. One of his friends had come up beside me and had his hands on my hips and I kept dancing. It pissed T off pretty bad and he called me a name and told me to leave. I got upset and tried to hold him. I didn't mean anything by it, I was just dancing, those were my thoughts. He didn't want me, and I threw a few punches at him for some reason. Then I went to leave.

Well, my brain doesn't seem to remember more, it might flash at me later, because I know I probably do know more. OH well, I'm happy to have remembered something.

P.S.
Just edititing because I remembered another part. Yay.

I was driving in my car with my son in the backseat. We were heading to Island Park. I got there and was excited to go play with him. I was getting ready to get him out of the car when I realized the weather had went from nice and sunny to a bit cloudy and chilly, like it was going to storm. I was disappointed and got back into the car to leave.

Hate to waste a good dream entry...

I was in a gym with a bunch of others with basketballs. I told them we should play knock-out.

I probably wouldn't have even remembered this if a coworker hadn't mentioned playing a little bball. I hate not remembering my dreams. Stupid jobs.

I mean, does America really need double stack burgers and "sea-salt natural cut" fries ?
I could be dreaming.

I was moving planets according to their location onto this big model hanging from the ceilings. I put some on there and realized I needed to start with the outer planets moving inward.

woke up
back to sleep

I was with my sister at my job, Wendys (fast food place.) They were handing out these new long-sleeved shirts to the employees. They handed me a package and before I opened it I had the option to choose small or medium. I wasn't sure what their small would be like so I asked a lady who was wearing one. She said it was actually bigger than a normal small, so I got the small. I was getting ready to leave when I realized D, my sister, ordered some food. I went into the back to speed up the process and made the drink she ordered, Grape Rootbeer? One of the guys got a little irritated with me because he had already made it. I apologized and told him I thought they were busy so I didn't think they had it yet. I laughed a little and shrugged another apology and walked back to my sis.

I think this was the same dream, but me and T had two kids now. One of them, named W, like our son, but he was our youngest. We had another one apparently he was a little older though, like 2 years. The strange thing I noticed about him was he was getting facial hair already! I laughed because as soon as I realized this he was like a 10 year old with a little goatee going on. This amused me a great amount. Anyway, we were at some kind of reunion with the family and we had traveled there. This place was strange, and part I remember the most was there was a library and the kids were running around. I went off to do something that I can't remember and realized I had just left my kids in there running around. My other sister, also a D, was tired of watching them and had sat down while the kids were practically destroying this library lol. My nieces were there also.

There was another part somewhere in that mess where me and my husband were working I guess and we were sitting at a table that seated four. We were sort of laughing and having a good time discussing work. I think this might of been where I went to before I realized the kids were tearing up the library.

I remember a ride too, kind of like that ride in Zombieland where the girls were riding before the zombies showed up, or when they started to show up. Anyway, it was like that but instead of swinging back and forth it would go all the way around and upside down. It was a lot of fun.

Then we were all about to travel home and we were at a gas station. I had my kid in my arms and asked my mom to pull some cash out of my wallet for me. She handed me a twenty and I went inside to get a pepsi and some smokes. I asked the lady at the counter, there were two of them actually, for some cigarettes, camel lights. She handed me 100's and I asked her for shorts. She gave me a strange look and went to get them when I realized that on the counter in front of me was a pack of shorts and the pack of 100s she handed me. I told her nevermind and she gave me another strange look. She asked me to wait a minute for something, they were looking at the computer. I started to grow impatient then finally I walked out with the cigarettes. Yes, I forgot the pepsi.

Then we're riding along again and we stop at another gas station. Suddenly I'm working there and these teenagers come in, a girl and two guys. I forgot what they were buying but the girl shorted me two dollars and said she'd be right back with the rest. I told her to leave whatever she had and to go get it and come back, she acted like I was crazy. I told her it was policy, if she didn't have the money she couldn't have the product. She started to walk out anyway and I followed her out to the parking lot and before she could leave the lot I grabbed her arm and told her to give me the money or I'd get in trouble. I ended up walking back in and picked up a broom to sweep....

and there doesn't seem to be anything I can do to save it.

My reality resides in my dreams...
and this is the nightmare I wake up to.

Lucid.

I guess you would call this WBTB. I was trying to call asleep consciously and it kind of worked, my husband almost interuppted me because he came out into the living room to get something, but he said something and I'm pretty sure it was real. I was in the middle of transitioning into a dream. He walked off and as he was walking down the hallway all I could see was darkness but I felt different, felt like I was hovering.

I knew it was the beginning but I couldn't get anything to really form, I did for a minute and I instantly started rubbing my hands together and I shouted clarity for the first time in a dream. It faded though, I don't understand this. I almost lost it and woke up but at the last second I decided to sit there and wait in the dark and that's when I was suddenly in my house. I can't remember much, but I got up from the couch and I think I said something to the dream, like be vivid, lol, since clarity hadn't worked. It seemed to work. I went to the door and turned the knob, it came open, much to my surprise and I shut it behind me as I stepped onto the porch. Then I jumped back like Spiderman to give myself a boost off the door and started to float, but I ended up grabbing onto my house and climbing on top. I knew the roof would only be hot if I let it, and for a second I was trying to feel it's warmth. I got up on the house and woke up. The whole time outside was very vivid and the sky was a dark yellow, but very vivid. The sky as I approached the roof was different somehow, I just don't remember why it was.

Ok, so after this lucid, I had a dream. Kind of a nightmare for me.

I can't remember every detail... but I was called into work at McDonalds, where I used to work while I was prego. I quit though and now I work at Wendys, anyways, I was working both jobs I guess, and this was my first day back at McDonalds. The manager was talking to me like she wanted me to come back for good, but I told her I could only work Thursdays and Fridays (The two days I don't work at Wendy's.) I had driven a moped to work, and I do remember doing this and leaving T at home, but when I got to work I wondered why I didn't just take the car. This is when some weirdness happened. I kept flashing back from being home to being online to being at work, all the while, having a huge fight with T because he wanted to sleep with other girls. I was very emotional in this dream.

There was a moment when I was at home and sitting on the couch scraping up a bowl of coke, cocaine. (I've never done this in RL.) T was talking while I was doing it, telling me he was going to this town and fuck some girl named Tex. He wasn't breaking up with me, he just wanted to fuck someone else. I was so pissed I picked up the bowl of coke and I had been putting baking soda in it, for some reason, anyways, I picked it up and slammed it right into his face. He couldn't believe it and I felt so bad, started apologizing, then I told him he needed to flush his eyes out with water, this worried him, he got up immediately to do this. We both went to the sink and were flushing our eyes with water.

After this, the girl showed up and was walking around and talking to T about all the things they were going to do together, while I was there. At many points, I told T I was leaving and he went into the bathroom and started throwing out my make-up. I followed him into the bathroom and not even a second after he'd walked in the entire bathroom sink was clean and glistening. I told him I WAS going to clean that eventually and he just scoffed.

There were these video tapes that this girl had brought with her, and she had rented them, hoping T and her would watch them together. I decided to hide them after debating on whether I should destroy them. I started hiding them around the house right before they walked in the door. They were talking about this place they were going to go. This is all I remember about this part.

Way on earlier in the dream, I was at my house, which was also a store called Third Planet (actually exists.) My friend J shows up to sell some clothes, he seemed hesitant when I answered, I was like come on in, and I finishing a cig. He comes in and sits down on the couch. Just then I see a mouse run from the closet door. I freak out and tell them and two of the guys that were hanging out, K was one of them, was going to kill it. I told him if he killed it I would beat his ass, told him to let him outside. He went over to the mouse and almost smashed it, but I stopped him and then he opened the closet door and there were three more mice, I started to scream. (Mice in real life don't scare me, Idk.)

Well, wish I could've remembered all my dreams from last night, but I just took this nap and this is all I could remember.
From last night, I keep getting deja vu though about the dream, just these feelings from it keep popping up like flashbacks and fading real quick before I get a glimpse of anything tangible I can actually write down. I just keep thinking about this Tall man.