Suena

I didn't get much sleep last night. I remember one dream and pisses me off. I "woke up" on my couch and instantly knew I was dreaming before I even looked around. I knew I was dreaming because I could feel this dread and I want to say "fear" but it was just a heavy feeling, being in the dream. I've been wanting to become lucid, but when I was presented my chance, I didn't actually want to be in the dream. I was irritated rather than excited.

The second I was lucid I got up and walked to my front door; already wanting to wake up. I don't know why I went to the door, but I guess in the dream I knew it would wake me up if I opened it; so I did, and woke up.

It's like my dream-self doesn't want to be lucid. I felt completely different about lucidity when I was in the dream than I do in waking life. Any thoughts as to why this happens? Is my subconscious telling me that I don't need lucidity right now, but sleep? That is how I interpret it.

[Two finals down and three to go; wish me luck.]