Suena

I've been having incredible dreams lately. Too many details. To sum up last night's dream, which I swear lasted forever, even when I'd wake up. Tried MILD, but the dream was just too interesting. I was traveling a lot, I remember an angry juggalo. I was staying at several hotels with a group of people participating in some sort of contest tour. I spoke with Maynard at the beginning of the dream but I barely remember it. Seem to be having more dreams of him lately. There was a crazy looking snake that had hair on it's head, looked like a snake rockstar. Towards the end of the dream my friend A and I were gathering these pictures for something, they were all the same. Then she kept handing me these tops that had layers underneath. I kept taking out the bottom layers and I planned on keeping them. Then I realized I didn't need them and apologized. I don't know how my dreams have been so vivid lately, I don't know what I've been doing different except using mantras. It's pretty cool though. I love having interesting dreams, great escapes from reality.

I was with my mom and sisters and my son. We were all going to the pool, but it was an indoor pool, it might've been the YMCA. Me and my mom realize we didn't bring the little swimmers diapers, so she went to go get them. I took my son in the pool anyway and he was laughing and having a good time. I was trying to get to the other side of the pool and there were these strange bars, some kind of toy thing I assumed, but for some reason I thought I could walk across it. There was a little kid watching me like I was an idiot. I had a kid in my arms and was trying to steady myself, but realized it wasn't going to work. My mom came back and asked me if he knew he was just wearing a diaper? I just shrugged.

I start walking around the pool, trying to figure out where everything is. It was a strange pool. I noticed there was an outdoor pool too, with slides and I went up to the windows to look out. I was in an area that I was apparently not supposed to be. A dc lifeguard came up to me and asked me if I read the sign about "trolling" lol. I laughed and walked back to my mom and told her I got in trouble for trolling around. I started walking around again and walked up into an area where there was this tunnel thing going down, it took me a few times to figure out that it was a slide that ended somewhere below me. I almost went down with my son on accident.

After the pool scene, I ended up on a street in some busy town. My brain keeps thinking Chicago. It's nighttime and I have my son still and we're laying on a bench like homeless people. I have a blanket wrapped around me and I was wearing underwear, no pants. Across the street I could see three neon lights, I think one was a theatre and another one was decorated in red white and blue and it was some popular store. I just remember it starting with an H. Hilfiger also comes to mind. So I'm laying on this bench and I notice a bunch of mexican gangsters walking down the street. A few eyed me and one big guy started coming towards me. I was a little scared, but more so pissed off. He thought I was asleep and when he got closer I looked up at him and flipped him off. He got mad and started chasing me, still have my kid in my arms. I think I'm heading back to the "ymca" because I'm taking familiar turns, like I knew how I'd gotten there. I went up some stairs and in a door which led to more stairs and another door at the top. I stopped at the top to see how close he was. He was standing at the bottom but he wasn't looking at me, he looked like he decided to stop chasing me.

(what sucks is, the dream started to fade and I became lucid, but I woke up briefly.)

I can't remember much after this, except, a hot tub and some lady laughing at me telling me not to wear her panties... >.<

Dreams have been so chaotic lately and very hard to keep up with.

I remember T and I were fighting, I don't remember feeling all that upset, but we exchanged our wedding rings. He took mine and I took his for some reason, as if to signify that it was over.

I was driving on a road that went over a highway and I was "supposed" to let my car go on it's own on the exit, so I got out. It took off down the exit but I decide to hover over traffic to make sure it made it to the highway safely. This is bizzare, but it's really not that rare in my dreams. I didn't become lucid, sadly.

I remember sitting at a computer somewhere, it was like I was in some kind of summer camp. I don't know what website I was on, but it very well could have been DV, because I remember hitting the friends tab and that layout. There were people on my friends list that were there in the dream with me. Mostly guys, I do remember thinking about one DV member, but just their name, because I found out he had changed it or whatever. This guy was really short but he had a kind of "class" clown attitude. I knew he was my friend. They were asking me to go get cigarettes from the mailbox. I was wearing swim suit bottoms and nothing else. I almost walked to the mailbox like that, then decided to look for a shirt. I woke up briefly. After falling back asleep I seemed to have realized that cigarettes weren't just going to appear in the mailbox.

I had a sexual experience, semi lucid, with my lover in a dream bathroom. I did type it up for a second and realized it's a little too much info. All I have to say about it now, is, it was huge.

So then, I'm hovering again. I'm over this bridge, but it's like a distant memory of me and T driving down it once. (I've never seen or driven down a bridge like this.) It looked like the common over-the-sea bridge, it was just different somehow. It was really foggy out and dark. There was one car holding up three other cars and the other cars were actually pushing it along.

I guess that's all for now. I can't for the life of me remember everyyything.

oh, I was lucid and flying for a brief instant but it quickly faded.

Been feverish and sick the past few days. I'm sure you know how dreams are when you're sick. Mine are full of deja vu.

I'm in a store in the mall. This store is very simple, white walls, shelves, nothing decorative about it. The products they seem to be selling are all fancy shampoos, conditioners, lotions, colognes. I'm looking at the colognes, wondering what to get T. I pick one out, but I keep looking. I see someone I knew from high school, Z, he acts reluctant towards me, like he's not that happy to see me. I just wave, and continue to look. I realize I'm running out of time and I cannot decide what to buy. I put my items back and decide to leave. I ask Z if he remembers where I parked, he just looks at me. I go outside and notice I'm in an unfamiliar place. I see my car suddenly, a few rows away. I'm crawling on the ground for some reason, I thought it would be faster. I get to my car and try to figure out which way I'm supposed to go. I started driving, and thought I might be driving on the wrong side of the road, but I didn't care. I wake up sometime after.

When I'm sick, my dreams are more emotional.

I only remember a fragment now.

I was in a house on the second story, there was this wrap-around balcony and in the yard below there were was a small pond with little jellyfish. There were a couple hovering in the air, one was really big and it was at my level. I was with someone, I believe it was a man, but I turned around to run back to the door and the jellyfish started chasing me.

shit. =) I'm so excited, I just had several lucids and false awakenings within a two hour period! I guess MILD really does work, two a few days of it! Too much happened in the dreams, but this was the most LUCID I've ever been. I finally could clear my vision and really communicate with the people in my dreams, even though none of them seemed interested in talking to me =(

I'll give you the highlights! My favorite part was me and a couple of friends were in an apartment building going UP and the elevator was tuggin along slowly and we were all looking at eachother wondering if it was about to give out. Sure enough, it started falling slowly at first back down, I told them not to move too much and as we neared the bottom, or after so much suspense, I was like WAIT A MINUTE. I put my hand out flat in front of me and willed the elevator to stop. It stopped and then I started pushing us up towards the top, but I told them to crawl out this window real quick just in case.

Another part I'm at my house and a bunch of family is coming over. I knew I was dreaming when my uncle showed up, cause he would NEVER come here, I doubt it anyway. He walked to the door and handed me two bags of trash that have been sitting on our porch for a day. (No, really, it's our trailer trash... =/) Anyway, I rolled my eyes and noticed it was all wet outside, I grabbed the trash and said "I was JUST getting ready to take this out." I go out of the house and sit down by a puddle of water. Just enjoying the lucidity. Looking around. Unfortunately I can't remember what I saw. Anyway, a lot of things happened, but I'm gonna quit right here. Just saying MILD was a SUCCESS.

Maynard was directing a movie at my house. Part of the house looked like the elementary school I went to as a kid. I was wandering the halls of the school, trying to stay in character. We didn't know what he wanted, he hadn't given anyone a script. He was getting frustrated with his assistant and I approached. I asked if I could take a look at his drawings. The assistant sighed as if to say, finally. Maynard walked to the couch and sat down. I followed after grabbing a cigarette. He had one too. He handed me the paper and there were little tiny drawings of houses and it had a storyline but everything had to do with the exterior of the house. I asked him to tell me, instead, what his movie was about. That's when he took me aside and told me that he was really scared and this was his first time making a movie. He also mentioned that he hated how he had to censor and only use certain words. Everything gets a little foggy after that. I remember hugging Maynard and coming back drunk and he and his buddies were laughing at me and practically had to carry me inside.

Somewhere in there, me and Maynard were outside and I was looking at a blood-red moon.

I believe this was the same dream, it had the same tone. A girl from where I used to work was hooked on heroin and I found her and Milla Jovovich in a bedroom shaking. Milla was still semi-conscious and I asked her how to help the girl. She said something about holding the bible with her arms crisscrossed and when I looked back down at the girl she had her arms wrapped around the bible and I could see the word "HOLY" on it. Then later in the same dream, I pass Milla in the hall and she wants to get fucked up. I try to tell her not to, but she's going anyway and she took my SON with her. I hadn't thought of it much until they returned and I was SO pissed at her. I took him in a room with me and started crying, feeling so bad, like the shittiest mother ever. That's when that girl came in and her eyes were dilated and white grey. I was speechless, I knew exactly what she was doing. Her drug dealer had followed in the room and sat down and started talking to this guy. He was saying that he was losing money cause people were so hooked. He was trying to give the girl a hint, but she wasn't taking it, willingingly, anyway. She was grabbing her clothes and my anger was so swelled. She told me she had to go sell some "pot" but I think she meant clothes. She didn't say aloud what for, but she waved her eyes in the dealer's direction and headed out the door. As she was leaving I felt the urge to say something that might help and stop her in her tracks. So, I yelled after her, "Tell your SON I said HI!" The dealer and his friend looked at me with half smiles, and they were like, "oooooo".

I can't remember the chronological order here, as usual, but I also remember being at a river that lead from one city to another. I was at this area where there was some sort of industrial contraption and a slow spill of green sludge was trickling down into the water. I was with my friend F and her daughter and my son. I don't know what we were doing there, but I was trying to build a bridge across. There were these weird green shells, I thought they were sea-turtle shells. I was trying to stack them up, but the more I pulled on them the looser the whole wall became. Then it was too late, I had started the spill and at the top was like a bucket of slime. I watched it slowly tip and pour into the river. I also vaguely remember getting stuck in the river.

I was driving down 9th street and I could hardly see because I didn't have my glasses on. There were certain cars I couldn't see at all until I was really close to them. I was trying to be careful and I was going to turn right on college, until I ran my car right in between two parked police cars, lights were flashing already, and there were two cars to my right that had been in a little fender bender. I remember the cop standing next to my window and he told me I was still rolling forward, so I pulled my emergency brake and started apologizing. They didn't really care, I guess I was just annoying them so they helped me back my car out.

Then my uncle left his baby somewhere and I had to take care of her, realized it was a boy when changing it's diaper.

I'm trying to finish up an online class but don't know how to save my work so that it's "turned in on-time". I try to get my friend, T, that is also in this class to help me, but he doesn't know either. I ask M and she says that we're going over it with a teacher tomorrow, the teacher's name started with R.

I was up for about an hour and a half with my son with the intention of trying a WILD whenever he took his nap. I browsed the forums and read a couple WILD tutorials and threads. Also, drank half a spark, which is an energy drink, but I was hoping it would help me maintain consciousness. It has about 500mg of Choline, and significant amounts of other vitamins. Hit the bong too. <3

So I lay down and I'm pretty relaxed already. I tried holding tension in my arms first and released and to the legs and feet, then my neck (which I find is hard to do.) I felt even more relaxed after doing this. After a few minutes I started to do reverse blinking, trying to keep my eyes relaxed and not force them open, eventually I noticed I had stopped blinking altogether and my mind was clear. I saw a few images and something disturbed me, I felt something crawling on my leg that I absolutely couldn't ignore. I decided to flip over to my side and shortly after I found myself in an unnatural darkness. I had my head between two pillows (really comfortable, imo.) I knew I had to be dreaming, but there was nothing in front of me. I tried to make the room as I remembered it appear and started to see the outlines but it faded and I was awake. I changed positions again and moments later I was on a bicycle headed uphill. There were at least two other people in front to my right and I passed a girl I know and was wondering if she should be riding pregnant, but even when I passed her I had a little lucidity. I wasn't exactly lucid to control what I was doing, but there was definately a difference. As I started to go up a steep hill following the others I passed a dip in the road, which I thought was going to be a little harsh, but I ended up gliding right along with the curve of it. Then as I approach the top of the hill, the others are at the peak, I realize how dangerous this is. I was waiting for a car to pop up, but it didn't. I went over the hill and the others had all gotten to the right because there was a curve going to the right behind a cliff, I couldn't see what was coming. Though I wasn't afraid really, and that's why I think I was semi-lucid. I was going to fast to go to the right side of the road, so I went along the left side and was prepared for an oncoming car, but I didn't see one. I got to the bottom and I was all the way on the shoulder of the road, opposite from the other riders. I woke up.

I changed positions again back to my left side. I think this is where I truly KNEW I was in paralysis. My right foot had gone completely numb, and I could hardly feel it. Then I felt it lift in the air and I knew what was happening, but that's when it felt like someone was pulling the blanket off of me and trying to pull me with it. My stupid ass thought it was my husband trying to wake me up, for a moment I knew what was going on but then I made myself wake up just to be sure. I even shook awake.

I think I'm getting closer if I keep trying, and this is the most success I've had, if you call it success. It's definately progress. Any more tips are welcome, tell me if I did anything wrong, or something else to try? Thanks for reading.

My dream last night was very vivid, but I don't remember a whole lot, at least not the order of the events. I was in a strange house that kind of reminded me of a semi truck because I was laying in a bed that laid across the entrance, like a loft or a camper. And behind me in his crib was my son. Something was going on in the town we were in and my mind kept switching from T to L. I didn't know who I should go to because I was really scared. So I went to L because I thought he was closest, and realized he was actually down stairs. So I went down and then for some reason we were running through the streets, it was dark and he told me to run with precision so the cops wouldn't find us. He told me when to jump and there was a group of people standing on a corner and they all had their shirts off and hoses. Then L yells "water sliddddde!" So we slide into some grass and then he gets up and starts running behind these joggers and then I'm thinking about streakers and how he reminded me of one by the way he was running. I'm not totally sure what happened next, but it was getting stormy out and I went back to L's place and it was kind of awkward between us. I could tell he really wanted to hold me, but knew he couldn't. I also felt the same way, but I knew I only felt this way because T wasn't around and I was scared. Our hands brushed once and I went upstairs to check on my kid. He was right where I had left him apparently.

Next part of the same dream I am quitting my job but I'm riding with a few co-workers to a game of some sort. I'm taking my son and we meet up with T somewhere and he gives me money, telling me that I have to buy this and that for W and make sure I got a wavy finger thing. I objected the big finger thing, the number one deal. He told me it was traditional. Then I remember something about making a shake with braums ice cream and I told someone they would have to let me make it for them sometime.

I decided to try a real WILD while the kid was napping. I used reverse blinking to help me relax and focused on my breathing, repeating the mantra, "I am lucid, The world is vivid." I could feel my body twitching but I don't remember transitioning into the dream. I was suddenly aware that I was showing my hubby an online video of some cute little babies. There were three babies and they were playing, then I realized that they were in a house that looked a lot like mine. I thought maybe they just live in a similar trailer (I mean mobile homes mostly have the same layout). Then I noticed the couch in the video was the EXACT same. I was starting to freak out a little, thinking I had been sent a video from the future. I started to awaken and before I opened my eyes realized that I was just tricked by the dream.

I opened my eyes for just a sec and closed them again, hoping to DEILD, if that's the right term for it. Soon after I was in another dream and I was sitting on the floor by the bookshelf. My son was asleep and my inlaws were at my house. They were acting strange towards me and I realized I had no shirt on, only my shorts and my bra. I felt embarassed and told them sorry over and over that I hadn't realized I had taken my shirt off. They laughed at me and again I started to wake up and realized I was dreaming when it was too late. =/

Then my son woke up, lol.

I was at T's work with him and I had my son with me. They were getting really busy and he asked me to help out. I handed my son to one of the employees and they looked at me like I was crazy, lol. I went and put a headset on and realized they had changed to hand-head-sets, if that makes sense. I was putting the thing together and asked T why they changed. He said they were cheaper. Then I went to take an order and all of a sudden T's like, Ok, let's go. I take the set off and follow T out the door. He told me to get in the car with RB. The name was familiar, I knew a guy by reputation where I used to go to school, but he didn't look anything like him, so I figured they just had the same name. The guy was in a white pick up truck. It wasn't OLD, but it was probably a mid90's version. I'm bad with cars, by the way. The guy was either bald or just had a really short cut, his head was round and he had a goatee. He looked serious. I turned to T and asked him if he was going back in to get our son. He said we were going to leave him for a minute and go check on something. I asked him why we were leaving our car here and he said it got repossessed, assuming from a bill we haven't paid yet. I looked for where we had parked it and it was gone. I was getting worried. We drove to our house, only it was actually my mother's house. We checked the door to see if they had changed the locks on us, but we were able to get inside. Then we went back to his job to get our son. I don't remember much after that.

I had went to bed at 2am and had that dream and woke up at 3:55. I'm trying to record how quickly I fall into REM. I'm thinking I'm one of those people that can go right into REM, I was watching a documentary about it. After all this, I had a long dream but I can only remember bits and pieces of what it was about.

I had failed to do something and T and my sister had been there and some others. They were all sort of shunning me for it, and leaving me, including T. Somewhere in this dream I saw a work schedule with my name on it from a place I worked almost a year ago. I had seen my name on for night shift and was kind of upset because I lived an hour away (and do in WL) and my uncle knew I couldn't work those hours. I noticed that my hours got cut also and I was trying to leave but then these girls started showing up and they wanted to fight me. I was having a hard time trying to fight them and they were laughing at me. I remember crying really hard for a LONG time, I think I was sitting in a closet or in the doorway of a room. I was just crying and crying, and it felt so real, the sadness and just feeling abandoned and rejected. Then I got up and grabbed something and started REALLY trying to hurt these girls who were laughing at me. I remember yelling at them saying I know I may be a shitty fighter but I wasn't afraid to pick something up and go crazy with it. Which is what I did. Then all I can remember is fighting robots, they looked like children toys, plastic and colorful making little beeping noises. I keep getting vague flashbacks just out of reach of my memory and it's annoying. Hopefully I will remember.

I just feel like I dreamed the whole ten hours I got to sleep. Does anyone ever feel like that sometimes? I don't understand, I'll go a few days without hardly remembering anything and then to so many dreams that I cannot remember details. My head needs to work things out.

Can't recall all that much since I woke up this morning, but I remember driving around the west side of town and I was driving along country club road. I can't remember why I was driving over there but I know I was killing time while I was waiting so I started to drive towards 14th when I saw two huge flashes of lightning. I looked to my right and there was some kind of force field of bluish purple. It was the edge of the storm, is what I remember thinking. This part was vivid, but that's all I can recall.

The night before last I was with someone who had a pet tiger and panther. They were being held by a normal fence, they didn't seem aggressive but I told the person who owned them that I doubted that fence could keep them. Sure enough, right when I said it the animals jumped over the fence, I was scared for a second, but I remembered to not run, the panther came up to me and bit me on the hand playfully. I led both of them by the collar and into the house, they acted like dogs. Once they were inside, I felt safe.

About forty-five minutes after falling asleep I woke up after having a little dream. I'm not sure if it was a hallucination because I was trying a WILD, but in the dream I was going to bed. T was sitting in our chair and he was playing video games, I think. But the chair was sitting diagonally in front of the door. I went to say goodnight, and I kissed him. Then I thought he had said, do you want to dance? I was like what. And he said do you want to live or die? I realized that I had mistaken dance for die. Then I laughed because he seemed so serious, like I had irritated him somehow. I said don't fuck with me right now I'm drunk. I ran to the bedroom but it was kind of like bouncing, I was scared but laughing hoping it was a joke. When I got to the bedroom, I jumped in the air to land on the bed on my belly, but I didn't land. I started falling through the bed and I think I had made myself wake up. Like I was somehow conscious but I never thought about it. Then I had a false awakening, but that's all I remember about that.

After I had a long dream, but by now I only remember parts. I was with an old friend and something about a dress she didn't want anymore that I wanted to give away. But she wanted me to hold on to it so that she could wear it again sometime. I went to what I had called in the dream JC Penney and I went it but it was kind of like a small town DMV office. So I was waiting and I was on the phone and lit a cigarette. There was a guy trying to tell me to not smoke and finally I realized they had changed the smoking policy. So I apologized and was going to go outside but I didn't want to so I finished the cigarette real quck. Then I was sitting in a chair and I remember telling someone something and I was very direct about it but I can't remembe what I was saying. There was a guy sitting next to that person who I had went to school with a long time ago but he looked older. I could tell he was trying to picture this new me and that's what I had been thinking about when I was talking. Very confusing. I'll just end it here.

Still half asleep, but I need to write this out. I cannot forget this one, there was too much.

It began by me moving in with my parents, or thinking about it. The house was really strange, there was a bar that seemed to sit underneath the house, but it was still outside. I was excited that me and my son were going to live with them. I remember talking to my mom about how I'd stay and help out until I found my own house. I invited some friends over, someone I had just met and a few others I knew. My aunt and uncle had shown up too. I was on a bed in a bedroom with one of my girl-friends and we were listening to the wind howling. It started to sound like voices and we started to freak out. Then I realized what it might be. It started to sound REALLY creepy. I told my friend to hold on and got close to the window and was looking out, it was daylight. My suspicion was confirmed when my uncle and dad came out and started laughing at us.

Then we're back in the living room and my uncle and dad are sitting at the table with my friends and they're all laughing playing cards and having a good time. I'm standing off to the side with my mom and my aunt. My aunt starts to tell me how f'ed up I was as a child. She told me I would try eating and selling ants when I was FIVE years old. My reaction, I was super pissed, because I knew this was a lie. I could remember being five. I told her that was fucked up and that she didn't know the truth. She and my mom were shaking their heads at me. I couldn't believe they thought of me this way. I started to get really angry about it, practically yelling at them for lying. My friends had all stopped and stared. I told my aunt that she was ALWAYS trying to prove that I was a fucked up person/druggie/what not. (Semi True. She has checked my wrists for shooting up one time just because I was wearing a beanie...) I got too worked up and decided to calm down. I told them to forget it and I'd stop talking about it.

Then I walked over to the table and everyone was having a good time again. I looked up at the stereo and there was some crappy oldies playing, maybe from the seventies or eighties. I asked my dad if it would be ok if I changed it. One girl agreed with me. My dad firmly said NO. I couldn't believe he wouldn't let me change the music. I told him that wasn't fair and the girl agreed. He told me no again.

At this point, my mom, my dad, we were all fighting. I stopped in the middle and politely asked my friends if they would leave or come back later. They all got up and left. I started to run around and get my things because I realized I COULD go home to my husband. I was having troubles getting all my things together. My son was sleeping in his chair. Me and my mom were fighting, and I can hardly remember what about, but it was intense, and very realistic to how we used to fight. I needed to get the carseat for my son which I realized was in her bedroom. I went to go get it and she followed me. I saw the lock on the door and stopped, because I knew she was going to lock me in to get me to stay. I kept trying to get her away from the door but she just wouldn't go. I went into the living room and picked up my son and held him on my lap. It was late at night now. I was going to wait til she fell asleep. I'm sitting there with my son on my lap, he's awake now. I'm staring at the clock above the TV and suddenly it's like time just passed without me even noticing. The clock read 1:57 PM. I looked at my mom and said no way. I haven't seriously been sitting here this whole time, awake, staring, along with my kid being awake on my lap. My mom nodded at me yes, that I was. I almost became lucid, because I couldn't believe it, but I ended up accepting it.

I got up and left finally. I took my kid home to my husband and was telling him some of what happened. Then I needed to go to the store for something and I go. I see my parents in the store and am trying to avoid them, so I slip in and grab a whole clothing rack of baby clothes. I took them to the register, and I accidently went behind the register coming around. In the area where employees are supposed to be only. They thought I was strange, but I got to the register and realized there were baby girl clothes in the mix that I didnt need. So I started pulling out the ones I didn't like as I walked back over to where I had gotten the clothes. My sister was with my parents, they were all shopping and seemed fine. They saw me but they didnt' speak to me. I went up to the shampoo and conditioner and wanted to try it out. It was strange looking, they were both in seperate, short, orange cylinder-looking jars. My mom said something about me coming back to the house and I nodded. I went back.

My friends were all there again. I was telling one how I was going to try this shampoo and I opened it. They laughed and asked if they should go get me a towel. I was like, OH, shit, maybe I can make it home in time to rinse it out. They laughed again. I put it in my hair and somehow must've rinsed it because I started putting the conditioner in my hair too. I suddenly realized I took too long and T, my husband, would be worried about me. I told J, my friend that I had to run but I'd be back. He shrugged. I also saw the guy I had just met, his name was Ian, I don't know any Ians. Anyway. I got distracted again with movies, J was watching a movie. I can't remember what it was, but I looked down at the dvds and saw "What Dreams May Come" and said, heyyy, this was the movie you told me to watch right? He looked at me questionably. I said nvm and got up to leave. I went outside and realized Ian had a split personality, that there HAD been two people here before and I realized it was the same guy, IAN. Idk.. I figured it out.

I leave and go home and T is gone. I had just gotten there and was putting my things away. Then he comes in asking where the hell was I. I told him that I had been at my parents and had taken more time then I thought I would. He didn't believe me at all. He started to accuse me of doing something else, but I interuppted, and told him to call J because I had JUST been with him not five minutes ago. He started to laugh, I knew we didn't have a cell phone. I told him to go to his moms and borrow her cell. He laughed again and said he had a device that allowed ppl to TEXT him. He said his daughter texted him all the time. I was like wtf... you have a DAUGHTER?? He laughed like he was just fucking with me. I'm holding the device and see a text from a girl I used to babysit. I thought it was weird. I start to feel weary because I hadn't slept. I think me and T started to fight, but everything after this gets hazy.

I think I woke up, thought about taking notes down because it was a very long dream... and I didn't want to forget it. I fell asleep again though and I went back in the dream I think... but then I was with someone who had a bunch of kids on her lap laying down. They had something wrong with them and she had chopped their heads in half surgically, they were still alive. They started to collapse in on eachother and the little boy's brain was pressed together so hard that it started to ooze. It was really gross. I told her and she popped the little girl on the side, rolling her eyes. She said the little girl was putting too much pressure on him...

I'm not sure, I remembered more earlier, now I don't... The strange thing about this all is that I went to bed only less than three hours ago. And I know this sounds weird, but sometimes I pray... and it is my birthday. I prayed that I would have vivid, meaningful, long, and possibly lucid dreams. And I'm kind of freaked out. I don't pray religiously really... I'm not a christian, I just pray for positive reinforcement, but I DO pray to God. It's how I was raised, so it's the guru in my head. Anyway, I just think it's really strange and that this dream MEANS somethng... I couldn't even go to back to sleep without typing it. I started taking notes and it took up too much room, so I had to come in here and type it. I'm still half asleep and the wind IS howling, it's creepy. I had to turn on Modest Mouse. I'm a little freaked out from what I experienced in the dream... hopefully I can go back to sleep...

There ARE things I missed, but I have to get up early and I don't want to go back and put the pieces in. Maybe I'll remember when I wake up, who knows... if I can even sleep. Goodnight...