Xanous' Dream Journal

#284 - SSILD - 4:45ish?

I had a natural WBTB way early at around 12:44AM but went ahead and took my Amino Acid Blend. I intended to SSILD but passed out too hard, too fast.

I have several vivid NLDs but only remember one where I was still married to my wife but was also dating an ex girlfriend. Apparently, they were both fine with it all and I felt strong love and affection for both of them simultaneously.

When I woke from that I berate myself and managed some proper SSILD cycles

I am on a beach with my wife and kids that I think of being some part of Charleston, SC. I swim into the water with my older daughter and quickly notice that this part of the ocean is bathtub warm and very brown. Disgusting.For some reason I start taking video of my daughter with my phone in the water. There's some vertigo and I feel like I may drown.

After a lot of struggle I manage to get back on shore. I spot an area where the water is clear and blue with white sand and palm trees. We decide that's a better spot and swim out into it. I see some smaller kids playing on some structure in shallow water. My son is among them and he is smiling at me. I tell him 'Hi' as I pass by. I come to a rock formation and climb up it. After closer inspection, I notice all of this is a man made pool that looks like beach and ocean. I look around and think maybe we are in some part of inland bay area. I pull my phone out to check the GPS. Google Maps confirms my suspicion and I use a type of Street View function to teleport to a road that leads to the actual beach.

As we walk, I notice the streets are full of water. I question how there can be any flooding and look up at the sky. There are very dark storm clouds coming inland. As I look out toward the sea, I see a terrible storm approaching with many tornadoes on the water. I shout, "Hurricane!" at my daughters and try to get them to run with me. My younger daughter is too scared and hides in a rack of clothing like in a department store.

I think it was the tornadoes or maybe the clothes rack on the sidewalk, but I realize this must be a dream. I still feel the need to get everyone out of the area but I feel like I can't move and my daughter still won't cooperate. I hear a woman's voice over an intercom saying some warning about the Hurricane. I feel a need to escape and have a moment where the dream fades to black. I calm myself and focus on the dream to avoid the void.

I look at Google Maps again and see several red dots that I think must represent my wife and whoever else I came with. They seem to be back where I was earlier and I remember that I teleported.If I teleported here I can teleport someplace else. I still feel the need to bring everyone with me but decide I should just let them go. I have to remind myself its just a dream.

I play with Google Maps some more and zoom out and rotate. I see the area and note the general shape of the coast line to compare it with the actual waking map. I see lettering marking the names of areas but it's all in some strange form of Spanish that I cannot even try to remember (Probably just gibberish). I zoom out some more and notice the area I am on is separated by a something like a river. I find this a little confusing but let it go.

I zoom way out and let my mind wander. I find something like a small isolated continent divided into two countries. I zoom on the right side and see it's labeled Somalia. I zoom on the left side and it's labeled Burma. I decide Burma might be nice even-though I know this map is all wrong.

I am not sure on the mechanics of this mode of teleportaton so I don't try. I just focus on seeing landscapes and let my mind bring what it wants. I see some empty beach, then something like an arid, yellowish, crag with steam shooting out. It makes me think of kind of sulfuric fumarole. I don't want any part of that so I continue searching but I lose lucidity.

I find myself sitting on a cushion at a low table with three Arabic men. There is a meal before us and we begin eating while engaging in conversion. I dish myself something that looks like the end of a very large octopus tentacle. It's cooked and split partially in half like the bread at Subway. There is some red meat inside that looks like beef and I put some sort of sauce on it. As I eat I vividly notice the texture and not so much the taste; it's something like tough marshmallows. I soon wake up.

By the way, I was really close with my view of the coast line. It's not quite Charelston but it's really close. I've never been here nor do I recall ever looking it up.

Also, it's interesting that I have thought of using a method of teleporting before but never tried it. Though, the dream set me up for it this time, I think it is something I could perfect... hopefully.

#283 - WILD - 7:06AM

I wake from a NLD and go into WILD. It's slow coming so I focus to a point outside of my body.
I feel strange but I am not sure if I am dreaming yet or not. I imagine my feet moving to the floor and instantly stand.

I go into the living room and can see pretty well. The house seems dark but the sun is blazing through the blinds. As I go out, I notice my wife sitting quietly on the couch holding my son. We exchange hellos as I pass. Then, I pause at the front door feeling unsure. This dream is really vivid and lifelike. I ask, "So... Am I dreaming?" She replies but I can't quiet hear her and she seems to be changing the subject. I ask again, "Well, am I dreaming? Because, I am about to go outside like this." I assume I am wearing just my underwear but I suddenly feel like I have a blanket wrapped around me.
My wife says, "Yeah. Because, you had to wait 15 years to get a new engagement ring."
I realize is to total non-sense and that her face looks a little shifty and odd. I say, "Yeah, your talking gibberish. I love you, babe." I then continue outside.

The dream become hyper vivid and realistic once I step out. I enjoy and clear and clear my dream sight is as I walk around. I decide to practice my flying and float up off the ground a few feet. It becomes very windy now and I notice how warm and nice the air feels. As I float up, I look past my house and see a section of the old downtown buildings in the distance. I notice how in-focus it is and laugh because downtown is the other way.

I look around the near by houses and hope that my neighbors will see me and be impressed that I can fly. There is no one around so I let it go. I decide I am flying too slow, so I try a huge downward thrust with my arms to propel myself high up. I hear a low booming sound and find that I am lost in a clear blue sky; there is no ground in any direction.

The void over takes me, but I hold on. I imagine myself lowing down to the ground and feeling the impact on my feet. I begin walking back in the direction of my house until I can see it. The house looks different as I find myself walking up the step on to the porch. The front door is a pale pink color with mauve trimming. When I open the front door the house looks like a version of my parents old place. I decide to try my painting again imagine the art supplies are in the closet under the staircase. I think, Ok, now I just need my easel As I reach for the closet door, I wake up.

#282 - DILD - 6:03AM

I have another short LD but I fall back to sleep before I can record it. Unfortunately, I completely forgot it after this dream.

I find myself standing in a very small kitchen deep in thought about the LD I just had. There is an older woman cooking at the stove with her back to me. I realize she is talking to someone. I hear my ex respond. She is standing with her back to a fridge next to me. She says something about how people keep dumping blankets and stuff at her job.

I suddenly remember I am dreaming but feel awkward so I don't move or say anything. Her brother walks up from around the corner and stands on the other side of my ex. He looks at me and seems happy to see me. I am shock about this so I just smile and nod. The thing I notice the most is how clean cut and nicely dressed he looks. His beard is neatly trimmed and he got rid of all that neck hair. We say hi like old friends.

I finally reply to what my ex said about her job, "Yeah. Well, people are bitches." We all laugh and I give a nervous glance to the woman at the stove that I now perceive as their grandmother. My ex says something and I have to ask her to repeat. It was something like, "Yeah, I hear ya."

I begin to feel bored with this scenario so I rebel against the dream. Say to my ex, "You're a fucking whore anyway." I laugh like I am just joking. Her and her brother laugh with me. I start to walk away and see a clean spot on the fridge as I pass. The white empty space reminds me of a canvas and I FINALLY remember my goal. I say, "Oh you know what? I was going to do a painting." I wake.

#281 - WILD - 4:57

I WILD and transition again. The music is back but I am more interested in seeing. The dream is very unstable and I have to crawl in the dark looking at the hardwood floor. I see three women sitting in the floor watching TV. I begin to feel menthol's side effect and reach out to one. I imagine her naked next to me but something doesn't feel right. I reach for a second one and pull her head first toward me. I proceed to throat fuck her. Some embarrassing and odd things happen, then she vanishes, leaving blue rags to clean myself with.

#280 - WILD - 4:45

I WILD after falling a sleep then waking. I feel as if I am falling. There are mild vibes. I transition and start to go into the living room but notice the there is someone in the bathroom. I enter to see small boy brushing his teeth on a step stool at the sink. I ask who he is but he only answers by spitting in the sink. I pick him up and start to carry him out of my house but the more I look at him the more he turns into my son. I stop, "Oh. Ok. Well you go ahead then." I begin to hear some kind of oldies music but ignore it.

I leave the bathroom and make my way into the darkness of the house to head outside. I have some vision trouble and a point where I felt like I was opening my physical eyes but was clearly seeing parts of the living room. I go with it and go out.

I stabilize with my hands as I walk around. The only thing I can see is where the moon light is hitting spots on the ground through the tree limbs. I look up at the moon and I see a hyper detailed, crisply focused full moon. I pause enjoying the visuals as silhouettes of butterflies flutter in place. There is a brief void then, I see birds taking flight from tree branches toward the moon. I wake up unexpectedly.

#279 - DILD - 4:02AM

I fail a WILD and find myself cleaning an area at work. It's a small desk with a computer and printer. I notice how unbelievable sparse the office space is and worry that it looks like I haven't been working much. I have stray thoughts about lucid dreaming and suddenly realize I was trying to WILD. I laugh when I realize that I must think about this stuff all the time.

I leave the desk and explore this strange version of my workplace. The building is mostly empty and there seems to be no one in sight. I have an overwhelming feeling of loving my job. I feel happy to be at work. I shout out, "Hey! I love it here!" I get the familiar feeling of how odd it is to be yelling while I'm asleep.

I see L sitting at a low table. I have issues with him in waking life and my first instinct was to punch him in the face. I remember that I have been thinking and tentatively practicing loving kindness in waking life, so I stop myself. I decide to project loving kindness to ward him but I over do it. I tackle him in a hug and tell him that I love him. I tell him he is really a good guy and I begin to really believe it. I think maybe I just misunderstand him. The dream destabilizes and I have a FA.

I try to DJ the dream but I can't see the screen. I think I must have my dimmer all the way and I try to guess at the app controls hoping to turn it up. Suddenly, I feel very tired and sluggish. I collapse over to my side. I hear the dog in the master bathroom and know that she is never in there. I realize I must still be dreaming. Then I hear my younger daughter calling for me and my son beginning to cry. I keep telling myself this is all fake but I can't seem to move. My wife touches me and asks me if I am ok. I wake up.

#278 - DILD

This one was Friday night after a WILD attempt.

I am stretching and preparing to run a race on a track in the summer Olympics. I worry that there will be no way I can compete with these guys. I decide that I should do a short warm up run and notice how easy it is. I become lucid and start running the race the actual race and enjoy the feel of running painlessly. I easily get ahead of everyone and turn around backwards still running. I laugh at how far back the are already. I decide to put in it in high speed and nearly lap everyone. I feel disappointed at how easy it was. I wake up.

Well I don't feel I should add the near WILD and DILD to my count Screw it. A lucid is a lucid. Even if I'm not happy with my LDs, I had an CRAZY wonderful morning of dreaming.

Prebed: moderate amount of beer
WBTB: Galantamine 8mg, Choline 400mg, Alpha GPC - 200mg

4:37AM - My Assassination

I am a woman in a red dress and I feel as if I am beautiful and sexy. I need to leave my house but there are people trying to kill me. I have a team of body guards around my house with guns. It's time to leave but we know there is a sniper someplace in the hills. My house is open with lots of glass but there is an exterior wall that I'm going to use as cover. When I go out I catch a glimpse of the sniper. He sees me and I duck behind the wall. A bullet chips off some of the top brick. I run for it from the end of the wall to a tree and bushes. I hear gun fire and dive for cover. Somehow I take a bullet to my lower back on the left side. The pain is horrible! (This is the worst dream pain I have ever felt. Or at least I perceived it that way.) I lie face down in agony and rage. I repeatedly shout, "KILL THE SON OF A BITCH!" As I lie there with my eyes closed, I think, This is how I die. And I accept that. There are some more random thoughts and images as I wake up.

5:52AM - WILD - Vibes

I wake from a dream I do not recall. A failed WILD attempt. I go back into WILD mode and get vibrations. I spend a lot of time floating and turning with strong vibrations but I can't seem to do much with it. I become bored and annoyed so I try something different. I wait in the void and relax my mind focusing on meditative awareness. Soon the vibes stop and I wake up. I try to WILD again but fail.

The Metallic Werewolf War

A non lucid dream forms. My wife and put my son in something like his high chair. I look up and we are in some class room. There is a young woman arguing with some monstrous, metallic, transformer looking, werewolf about the war between there kind. The woman keeps pointing out the atrocities committed against her people and the werewolf keeps countering with, "But it was WAR."

I think about the war and the dream changes. I am in some post apocalyptic area. The buildings are rubble and the sky is black with smoke. I see the woman, who I now realize looks like Maggie from Walking Dead. Glenn is next to her, but his left hand is a cannon made from nano-tech. He is shooting fiery energy at the enemy. I look at who he is shooting at and see that we are on top of what looks like a cobblestone version of a huge dam or fortress wall. There is a horde of the shiny black metallic werewolf creatures battling their way towards us. I wake up.

6:51AM - #277 - DILD - The Wine Bottle

I am getting gas. Someone pulls up in a flatbed pickup with various sticks and stones for sale. My wife wants to buy some for crafts but I tell her no. I tell her just go outside and look for your own for free.

I turn and now I am in a Wal-Mart. I see a bottle of wine on the shelf. The lettering is crystal clear but makes no sense. "ISOP?" Somehow this triggers lucidity. I am glad for it and I turn away trying to remember a goal. The dream that was so vivid and clear is now getting dark and blurry. I fight against it and begin rubbing my hands. I look down an isle but its just a blur of color now. I focus on my hands but its not use. I fall on my face into the void. I try to stay calm and focus on awareness. I tell myself that no matter what happens I will stay aware. I am falling and turning slighty. I wait.

Then I am fooled by a false awakening. I try recalling the dream in the dream (or was I wake?) but fall back to sleep.

Vampire Sisters

Now I am refinishing the hardwood floors of my house. I am nearly done and some vampire woman walk in on my wet floors. I am annoyed but they are fighting. Another vampire woman comes in and tells them to stop. She says something like, "We are not fighting each other, but our greatest enemy." Then she looks alarmed pointing at one of the vampires sisters. "What clearance did you give her?!"

I have a vision of a slice of supreme pizza on the floor. It some how represented the vampire sister in question. There are alien looking arthropod beings long tongues or labrum like a mosquito. They put their labrum into the pizza. I get the feeling like they are some how infecting her mind or possessing her. I wake up.

8:25AM Tidal Wave

I am at a rocky beach with my wife wading into the ocean. I keep reaching into the rocks and pulling out oysters. I easily pry them open and eat them raw. The third one is ridiculously huge and the texture is like the cheese on a pizza. The taste is like canned oysters. I try to get my wife to eat one but she is grossed out and scared of what might be in the water. (She would) I think about that and say I am only scared of sharks. My wife screams and I look. There is a huge tidal wave coming in at a slow motion. The effect makes it see even bigger. We run a fast as we can as the water comes rushing in behind us. Water is at our feet as we get into a random car. I am trying to start it as the water takes us and the car away. I wake up.

Fragments

Horrible acne

I am tilling the garden

#276 - WILD - 4:42AM

I was from several non lucid dreams feeling frustrated that I failed to WILD. Finally this time I have an actual WILD.

I feel wakeful and it takes a while to get relaxed. At first I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere but I get some strange idea to focus my attention to the top and right several inches away from my head. When I do that the vibrations start right away. (Maybe there is something to this energy thing?) I feel my self quickly float up to the ceiling but before I phase through a hand presses down on my chest pushing me back to bed. I know this is my wife's evil astral twin. I am not afraid, nor pissed. I just try to ignore her. I relax and float up again but she pulls me back down. This time I see her arm. It looks gray and brown with claws for finger nails. Still I have no fear or anger. I ignore her as best I can. This time I will myself up but as I touch the ceiling, I open my physical eyes (I think) and I see that I am lying in bed. I blink, close then, try again, but have the same result. One of the time on the ceiling, I want to roll over to see myself and her but can't move. I try to spin in bed to roll out but feel stuck.

I feel like astral wife is messing with me so I decide to handle it the same way as before. For whatever reason I can roll her direction and I throw myself on her. I project positive feeling as we make out and she responds in delightful ways. I decide that I don't want this to turn into a sex dream so I stop. I conclude that this dream has probably got stable enough and I visualize walking in the living room.

Suddenly we are there walking together holding hands. She pulls me close to kiss but I am anxious to get going. Plus, I am still a little leery of her. Not wanting to treat her badly, I try some nice way to get out of this. I say, "Hey, I have and idea. We should do it outside in the warm sunshine."
She seems excited and says, "Yeah! Let's go!"

I think about being outside and we teleport instantly to the front yard. I have no intentions of following through with this but I point to a spot in the neighbors front yard that is sunny. It seems like late summer and the grass is dry with some brown spots. As I am looking at the spot I have a false memory of having sex with the lady that used to live in this house. I tell myself this is not right and I wonder where this "memory" came from. I shake this disturbing though away and totally forget about Astral Wife.

I wonder into the back yard and come the back door of my house. I pause as I notice this house looks nothing like mine at all. I turn to the alley and see the front of a blue house that doesn't exist in waking life. Suddenly, I remember my goal to paint on a canvass. I think I should go in the house but feel like it would be a bad idea to try to change scenes again. I feel like I would just enter the void and now I have the thought, I probably would if I tried.

I decide to summon what I need on the spot. I notice there is an awning providing a nice shady spot where I am standing as I look around. I decide since I am setting up outside, I should paint what I see. I think the blue house would be fine. It looks like it's in a semi rural location. There is a bush in the front and clothes lines running along the side. I blind summon a canvass on an easel and set it in front of me. At that moment I wake up.

#275 - DILD - 3:09AM]

I dream something about some old biblical stuff. I find a statue of a saint.
I have a strange false awakening standing up. I remember I was trying to WILD and lay my head down on the truck of a car.

The vibrations start and I feel like I am laying in bed. Everything feels like a normal WILD but I am reluctant to be stuck in SP again. This time I go straight to visualizing. I'm still a little confused from the last dream and really want to visit this place that was connected to the statue. I visualize a tree with a small door in it. I recite a Bible verse in my mind, "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you."

The dream transforms me some place different. I am laying on my stomach in the back seat of a car. The dream slowly flickers into view as I am looking at my hand clapping and rubbing. I sit up and see my Dad driving. The front has a bench seat and my son is standing on the other side next to him. My son hits my dad and my dad slaps at him in a weak childish way. Then, they both slap hands at each other. I stop all of it by clapping my hands on my dad's ears as hard as I can several times until he yells at me to stop. I say, "You can't hurt me in my non physical form." I am under the impression that I just had an OBE while traveling and my physical body in still lying in the seat asleep.

I try to see where we are going but I feel really near sighted. I ask, "Where are we? I can't see." My dad just gives some non-answer. See some cars passing us the other way and ask if we are in a town yet. Again he avoids answering me. I'm really confused what we are doing and ask if we are picking up my daughters. I don't remember what he says but it wasn't satisfying. I see that we are parking on the side of some building. When the car stops, I expect it will wake me up.

I have another FA and lose lucidity. I feel the shift of returning to my sleeping body and set up in the car. I feel very tired and can hardly open my eyes. I try to record my dream in my DJ and as I recall I begin to feel very confused about this whole thing. Something just isn't right. Before I can put two and two together my wife rolls over and wakes me up.

#274 - WILD - 1.29.14 - 4:22

After I wake from the last dream, I have wakefulness for over an hour. The last time I look at the clock it was just around 4:09AM. I finally get my mind to calm down and go straight into WILD using LaBerge's Twin Body Technique.

My head begins to feel wobbly and like it is floating off the pillow. I started the WILD on my left side and roll over to back. I feel a tearing sensation as I separate and hear a sound like metal ripping apart. I pause on my back think about this. OBE's feel so real. I get out of bed easily enough but feel very unstable and can't walk well at first. After a few more steps I seem to be fine. I am blind but I make my way into the living room. I want to stabilize and decide to try clapping. I clap one then a second time and to my surprise, the lights come on. Not only does the living light up but it is daytime outside. I chuckle to myself as I think about The Clapper commercials.

I everything seems really blurry but I decide to go ahead and make my way outside. As I move through the living room I notice there is a strange old TV on a high cart. It's on and the sound is very loud. I'm mildly interested and listen as I pass but all I hear is muffled sounds. I feel like I should be paying attention to it but I really want to get outside. The moment I touch the door and I jolted back to bed.

I DEILD and have to start over. I have the same tearing sensation and metallic sound. Luckily, the living room is already lit and the sun is still up. The same TV is still there blaring sound. Everything is still blurry so I take some time to stabilize by clapping and rubbing my hands. Luckily The Clapper was a one time use. My vision goes to a brown color and I worry about the void or waking up. I focus and the light returns. As I pace around, I ask the dream for a DC. I was wanting to ask some questions and try to probe the dream a little. No one seems to be willing to visit so I let it go for now.

After a moment or two, things get a little more stable. Though my vision was still sub-par, I decide I had spent enough time with this and head for the door. As I pass the TV I plainly hear a voice say, "ANNIHILATE THE HELL OUT OF NASA." I stop and say, "Whaaat?" I sit on the couch and really pay attention to the TV now. I see a news woman with a red blouse and brunette hair and her appearance seems a little outdated. I see the words, "CBS News" bottom of the screen but the sound has gone back to being muffled. I laugh out loud at the whole thing and decide to go ahead and leave.

When I get outside, It looks like late spring and everything us super lush and green. There is way more foliage and trees then my actually neighborhood. I check the temperature and notice it's not hot or cold but feels really nice. Perfect weather. I look for DC's but can't find any so I go for a walk on this spring day. I focus on sensory awareness as I walk. Everything is still a little blurry but I feel so entirely immersed in this reality that I take the time to appreciate where I am. Everything is so life like and has a real 3-Dimensional feel to it. I become overwhelmed with a sense of wonder and excitement that I can't contain. I shout out, "I LOVE LUCID DREAMING! WHOOOO!" I get a stray thought about DJing this experience while I shout out again. "YAAAHO...." My voice get cut off and I suddenly wake up.

Later I dream something about a child. I hear the alarm clock. Instead of the time, it reads, "SXSTUPID" I recognize this dream sign but I am too amused to do anything but laugh. I say, "Sucks stupid? What's that mean?" I fall to the floor laughing. When I look up I see too versions of my brother's wife making faces at me. I wake up.

I have another dream that turned semi[lucid though I thought of it more like a daydream than the dream it actually was. There is road worker blocking the road at a red light. There are no cones or vehicle or lights. Just the guy in the road. I find this odd and try to get over but the traffic is too dense. I make my own way as I drive. I control the dream to build a ramp into a parking garage. I keep consciously adding levels as I go up until I wake.

#273 - WILD - 1.29.14 - 2:59AM

pre-bed: 24oz beer 1 hour before bed.
WBTB G at 2:00AM

I get the feeling like all this is taking way too long and I think about how I have to get up for work soon. I realize that I feel a little odd so I relax. When I do, I shoot straight up. I can feel myself phase through the ceiling and then the roof. Then suddenly, I am sucked back into my body. I begin to feel vibes and try my usual exit but it's not working this time. I visualize walking and climbing stairs but nothing happens. I feel stuck in SP so I wait it out and meditate. I get breathing issues like I need to adjust my head. I feel like my neck is kinked in the wrong way but I can't move so I try to have even breathing and ignore it.

Later I feel my wife touching my hand like she somehow rolled over a little. It bothers me because I feel like it has woke me up a little so I gently scoot over just enough. I realize something felt really odd about my motions but I'm not sure what to do. I worry that I will have to start over so I just lay still.

I hear my wife say something about me talking in my sleep. I start to ask her what I was saying but she continues talking over me. Her voice transforms into some kind of electronic garble as she lazily flops her arm and head on my chest. Before I can react, we both fall off my side of the bed and I yell out, "WHOOOAAA!" I become very afraid of this DC and my first reaction was to react negatively like before. I say, "You are not my real wife." I stop myself myself there as I remember the conversation I recently had with Wurlman in our podcast. I decide to react with love instead. We are still entangled on the floor and I kiss her on the forehead as I say, "I love you babe. I love you. I love you." She doesn't say anything, but shakes her head "yes". The fear is gone but I worry this will turn sexual. I worry because I think of this DC as some kind of strange entity. The feeling I get from it seems off and unnatural. I wake up before anything else happens.

#272 - DILD

1:30AM

Dream about editing audio

3:13AM

I am playing huge three level Xylophone. The sound is amazing. The Xylophone belongs to some kid that I know as my enemy. I ask him to teach me piano and I would let whatever happened between us go. He agrees.

WBTB melatonin

4:53AM

I am standing in some construction zone with Wurlman. He keeps talking about just quitting his job. I try telling him that this is a really bad idea. We meet up with some of his co-workers and I somehow become mildly lucid. I start to levitate and float around the men. For some reason I am pushing buttons on a strap on my shoulder to control the up and down movement. I wait for them to understand that I am doing this on because its a dream but they seem unimpressed. I worry that they will think that I am doing this by some sort of trickery because I am pushing buttons. I look up at a clear blue sky and say, "See? There's no wires." It's all me. The men seem to have gone completely catatonic now and I wake up.

9:18AM

I am stealing weapons and grenades from my old boss Steve inside a school. I cover the security camera with some sort of foam and find and old deep freeze converted to a storage locker. There are casualty rifles, hand guns and grenades in a hidden compartment. I also find a box full of RAM chips. I decide my computer needs an upgrade and take various types not sure which ones I need. A teacher comes in and I spray her in the face with pepper spray and run out.

#271 - DEILD - 2:41AM

I was really displeased with these two LD's but there it is. I suppose it was better than a total fail. I just really don't like long SP transitions. It's such a waste of LD.

I am driving some place and the road gets blocked by a crowd of people. I roll the window down and ask some guy whats going on. He doesn't seem to know much. I listen and can a man preaching on a loud speaker. I make some remark about them Christians and turn the car around. I find a side road that has very little traffic. I am pleased.

I DEILD and have a really long transition. My goal this time was to interact more with DC's and ask for a dream guide. I ask for it out loud and I immediately feel hands grabbing at me. This actually freaks me out so I tell it to stop and It does. I try getting out of bed but it feels wrong and I am stuck. I spend a lot of time waiting and focusing. As some point I hover above my bed and spin in place. Still, I feel too connected to my physical body and can't seem to get anywhere. Irritatingly I notice my feet are crossed and uncomfortable. I try to move my legs but can't. I decide to ignore it.

Finally, I stop focusing on the physical and start visualizing. I clear my mind and stay watchful. I start playing with some sort of hand held device with rubberized keys. I get lost in this and have to remind myself to stay lucid. This doesn't seem to get me anywhere so I start visualizing walking in my living room.

Soon I find myself doing just that. I see my son running around me wanting to play. I chase him a little bit as I make my way outside. Eventually, I pass him and spin around to see him chasing me now but I quickly run outside shutting the storm door behind me. He stops at the glass smiling at me first, then whining to come with me. I feel bad about leaving him but I really need to get outside and stabilize. This dream is really blurry and unstable so I try to focus on vividness.

I look up at the sky and see stars lined up in a grid. I find this mildly interesting and chose to ignore it. I notice that I feel cold out here and do my best to ignore it. Something on the ground catches my eye. It seems to be an article of clothing. I pick it up to examine it and get some tactile stimuli. It looks a lot like one of my wife's button up sweaters but the colors are wrong. Instead of blue and white stripes, half is white/brown and the other half is white/yellow stripes.

Now, I realize I am still very aware of my physical body. I have my legs crossed and it feels painful and sweaty. I try moving but the sleep paralysis has me. It's just too uncomfortable to ignore anymore so I have to wake myself to move.

I have another dream where my dog is pooping all over the place. I clean it up and watch TV. My dad passes through with a section of water hose formed into a noose. I ask him what he's doing but he doesn't really answer me so I follow him. He goes outside and and I am now walking out of some warehouse. I hear a loud helicopter sound. I look up expecting to see it but it never comes. My sister's brother is standing outside talking to my dad. I notice it's raining and something triggers lucidity. My brother-in-law and I stare at each other for a moment. He seems angry with me. Though it's just a dream, I really don't want to go out in the rain so I will it to stop. We all look up in the overcast, gray sky. I say, "Yeah. I made it stop raining. That was me." I step outside now, but I suddenly wake up.

#270 - DEILD - 4:46AM

I have a dream about my older daughter. She is trying to tell me something but I am trying to get back to bed to get lucid. She's holding me back and I become angry. There's lots of conflict.

I DEILD with vibes again. This time I am in my house. I see my daughter standing in a doorway and then disappear into the dark room. I'd rather not follow so I call to her. After a moment she comes out and sits on the couch. I hug her and apologize for the last dream. I say, "Sometimes in a dream I am not myself. I'm sorry for the last dream, but now I am myself. This is a dream too, but my mind is awake." She seems to be falling asleep while I am talking so I say her name and give a little shake. I say with excitement, "It's lucid dreaming!" I try to infect her with excitement by radiating it into her. Her eyes open wide and she smiles with amazement. This makes me wonder if I am making a shared dream connection with her. Then She returns to being out of it and half asleep. I realize at that moment that maybe her DC was trying to help me become lucid in my last dream and I was acting like she is now, except I was overly angry. I have both hands on her shoulders when she suddenly vanishes leaving my hands hanging in the air. With amazement, I wonder if she has woken up. Then, my vision fades to black and I wake up.