Xanous' Dream Journal

#232 - DILD - 5:55AM

I am working at Wal-Mart in the cereal isle with Spencer whom I work with IWL. I realize this is not what I do for a living and I try to reason out how this fits. My explanation doesn't make sense and I become lucid.

I see Spencer and bullshit with him a bit. I ask him, "So what now?" I can't remember the conversation but he says something that I said at the same time I do. I laugh at this because I know why this happened. He is an extension of my subconscious so it made total sense.

I see some young woman walking past with a man. They appear to be having a wedding rehearsal. I recognize her from an earlier part of the dream before I was lucid. I tell myself to remember that part for later and I felt like I could. I think it is totally rediculous that I would dream a wedding at Wal-Mart so I walk out and follow behind them mockingly. I hear them counting out the steps together, "Step. Step. Walk. Walk. Wedding. Wedding." I continue to follow them around and kind of lose my concentration. I realize I am caring a bag of ice and a bag of M&Ms. I have the bag squeezed so the air expands on one side and I shake the candy inside. The result is a very loud and annoying sound to be making while following closely behind people. The woman says to her betrothed, "I don't know why people are showing up 3 hours early. It's annoying." She emphasizes the last sentence and turn to look at me over her shoulder. At that, I realize that I must have dazed out and regain some lucidity. I assume she meant that for me so I turn off another isle.

My memory here is really hazy but mostly I just wonder around exploring and enjoying the very vivid lucid. I think about going outside but I really feel like this dream would be more stable where I am. At some point I realize I still have the bag of ice and it has nearly melted. I place it one of the freezer bunkers and walk away. Now I look around and notice all of the people have vanished. I feel like this means the dream is about to end. I feel very pleased and happy with this dream because it felt like it was such a very long LD. I wake up.

#231 - DILD - 7:20AM

I'm going to have to say that this is one of my very most favorite dreams. I just loved everything about it.

I am with a group of musicians at some outdoor event. They ask someone where the "auditory event" is. The person points in two different directions, "Audience, over there. Non-audience, over there."

Suddenly, there is some country singer sitting in front of us with an acoustic guitar. There is some non verbal agreement that he will play with them. He asks us to give him a moment to warm up first. He starts singing some Johnny Cash song getting only a few seconds in then stops, shaking his head. Then, he sings the intended song that sounds for like George Straight. His voice is deep and rich and the sound quality is amazing. I look over at the musicians. They are just lounging with their instruments listening instead of joining in. I yell at them and they slowly get their guitars and keyboard out.

Suddenly, I realize this is a dream. I think is a perfect set up for a goal of mine. I take an acoustic and start playing with the man and find myself standing with him on a stage. I totally fake playing but I sound awesome. The sound quality of the dream is just amazing. I then begin singing with the man and the lyrics sound like an actual song that I can't remember now. I look down at one point and see that my guitar is very strange looking with only four strings. I shrug and continue on. At some point, I hear a female voice join in with us. She sounds amazing but I don't see her anywhere. There are white sheets hanging all around the stage. As I play and sing, I move through them expecting to find the her hiding from us. I give up after a while because I am more interested in performing. I never see a crowd and there is just darkness beyond the stage but I don't care about that. I just play on.

We go on to another song and now it sounds very classic rock. The country singer is nowhere to be found but it sounds like someone is playing with me. I look down and realize I am now playing with an electric guitar. The song sounds a lot like "Stay With Me Tonight" by Quiet Riot but also totally unique. The riffs start out slow and the picks up with some high pitch squalls. I sing like a rock god and fully enjoy my new found abilities. At one point I see a whiteboard with the lyrics appearing on it as I sing the words. I am still lucid but its like someone else has taken over. All of this just comes almost automatically with just a little bit of direction from myself. I concentrate on the whiteboard and really try to remember the words I am singing so I can record it when I wake up. I repeat a chorus several times trying my best to remember it but it was just too difficult holding the performance together and memorizing it at the same time. I realize this as there is now a bit of a breakdown in the song. I remember singing something like, "Wont you or will you stay? I need to know because I'm so crazy crazy crazy crazzzzyy." Then the song dissolves.

I decide to go with something with beat now and imagine a setup like Beardyman's. I pretend I have a foot peddle with all sorts of distortions, large soundboard in front of me, a mic on a stand. I throw three separate beatbox sounds and loop each sound one at a time until I hear all three at once. After each sound I fiddle with controls on an invisible soundboard. The fact that I cannot see it doesn't stop me. The effect is very techno and amazingly legit. I then pick out a simple riff that I invented back when I was learning to play the guitar IWL. Once it all comes together I just stop in awe of myself. I say, "Now THAT is what this was supposed to sound like." I listen to the loop once more and I suddenly wake up.

#230 - DILD - 4:51AM

I am playing The Simpson's Tapped Out in my phone but it changes and there's something saying BRONZE AGE and I start collecting pieces of bronze verses XP and Money. Suddenly all the Simpson's characters become medieval knights with swords. The screen zooms in on a man in a gray cloak with a blue capped knight on each side.

I decide this is a dream and put my phone down. I think about walking out the back door and I am suddenly stepping out to the back deck.I run into the back alley forgetting any task but fully enjoying the vividness of the dream. I look down the alley both ways as far down as I can see but the distant views are blurry though I can make out what the neighborhood looks like. For no reason I decide to run left and fully expect to come to the main road after a block but I am suddenly in a different neighborhood.
I run another block heading left again until I come to a house that gets my attention.

I decide to be a criminal and break in curious what I will find. There is a side door with a large glass pane in the middle.I punch it and let the glass shatter. I almost float through the opening but I pause worried about the occupants of the home defending their property. instead, I out my head in and shout, "Helloooooo?" There is no answer so I open the door and go in.

I still feel the need for caution so I slow creep through the first room. I look around and see its more like an enclosed porch and is mostly empty of stuff. As I sneak a long it feels like I am moving painfully slow and I want to speed a little but I seem unable to. I finally reach a hallway and peek around the corner.

I see that Immediately to my right there is a doorway to a kitchen. The layout is simple with a long counter wrapped around the right wall and nothing on the left. I spot an middle aged heavy set woman standing there with her back to me. It looks like she has a corded phone in her left shoulder while peeling something like carrots or potatoes over a trash can. I feel like I need to take her out. I look at the counter and see a pair of scissors on the counter. I rush forward, snatch up the scissors, then move behind the woman all in one fluid motion. Then I quickly out my left hand over the woman's mouth and jabbed the scissors into her lungs with my right hand. I quickly stab her 3 times before I realize what I am doing. I just murdered a woman in cold blood! I let her limp body drop to the floor and wipe the blood off the scissors on her shirt. I briefly worry about finger prints but remember its just a dream. I still know I am dreaming so I continue in without giving her a second thought.

I rummage around the house looking for anything interesting expecting to find something amazing. I think about the September ToTM of last year and hope there is a teleport device someplace. I run up and down the hallway and open closets and cabinets but find nothing interesting. I soon wake up.

#229 - WILD - 4:19

There is a first lucid part to this but I lost it. I end partially waking and trying to DJ but find myself back in the dream. I try telling myself that its ok I'll remember it later but I can't. I end up having an OBE style dream with no vibes and leave the bedroom. I hear a strange loud sucking noise (probably a distorted sound of the fan) and the bed room door opens slowly. I feel fear and try to yell at it and challenge whatever is about to come at me. I can't seem to get any words out and can only let out a gasp like in typical SP. The bedroom door suddenly slams shut with a loud bang.

I suddenly find myself back in bed with my arms pinned down. I try to fight it at first but decide to calm myself and just let it go. I try to transition several times but have a difficult time with it. I eventually wake up.

This is the first of four lucid dreams from last night. I took the last of my galantamine and had an odd number of pills so I ended up taking 12mg with 500mg Choline. The effects of it seemed really strong. I had that buzz feeling that I got the first few times I started using it and about and hour total of wakefulness. I got to try a couple of personal goals and although things didn't quite go as planned I was still very pleased.

#228 - WILD - 3:10AM

I do a full WILD and start feeling funny in my body. I keep getting moments of floating sensations and a strangeness in my head that could only be the starting stages. Then I get a strong floating feeling and latch on to it. I am dumped out of bed and can hear a tearing sound like the sheets where ripping. I get up and go into the next room. Everything is well lit and vivid. Suddenly something touches my arm. It was my wife she had moved a little. Then the whole bed shakes as she rolls over. This wakes me up a little and I have to start over. I am still in the zone and get back to it quickly.

The next transition is a little forced and blind until I get outside. I see some man sitting on the steps. His head is shaved and he looks like he may be Philippino or Mexican/Asian. I feel like I know him and have a good feeling about his being there. I really want to see his face. I say something to him so he will look but he does not move. So I keep him in sight as I circle around. He has that "familiar" face but I don't feel like it's anyone I actually know. I later wish I had stopped to really talk to him but right now I am on a mission to get to the Moon and look back at Earth.

I say to the man, "Come one, man. Are you ready for this? The Moon is going to be awesome!" He makes no reply so I forget about him. I look up and see a waxing gibbous moon bright in a clear night sky. I look at it to focus fly towards it. As I focus on it I relax and my body floats up slowly then pauses. The light of the moon becomes too bright and is white washing everything. I look down and see that I am only just above tree level. The man is just sitting on my porch steps looking up at me. I focus again my vision around the moon distorts like it should. I thing I am about to go but the light blinds me again and everything turns white. I close my eyes and feel an intense acceleration.

The next thing I see is a strange vortex in the middle of a low resoltion nebula and stars. I enter it without thinking and blackness gets me again. I don't worry about it. I just switch to physical sensations. I start feeling around on the ground for moon sand. It takes a lot off effort but after some time I can feel like I am grabbing handfuls of sand. I feel around some more and feel a rock. I bang it on the ground and hear a hollow underwater clunking sound. I feel like this is good enough and begin to peer into the back of my eyelids like I am trying to see in low light. After a second or two, I see gray sand in front of me and I am on my hands and knees. I look up and see a blurry moonscape horizon. I get up and look for Earth.

Out to my left there is another moon sized object hanging in blackness. It doesn't look like Earth at all. Instead it looks reddish with swirling orange stripes and large knobs protruding uniformly around it. There seems to be no dept of atmosphere and it all looks like its made of clay. Disappointed, I look down at the moon I am on and it too has taken the appearance of clay. I no realize this moon is way too small. It seems more like an asteroid. I jump on it for fun and the entire moon bounces and gives with my weight. I then decide that is needs to rotate and I make that happen by planting my feet and spinning.

Not wanting to give up, I look again for Earth but on the other side. I see a very Earth like planet but it too has no depth and looks to be made of clay. I jump to it and orbit it hoping things will become more life like. It does not. It's literally like a giant ball of clay. I try falling to the surface wondering if it will take me back home. The dream goes dark again and I feel like I am falling for just a moment. I suddenly open my physical eyes and wake up.

I had a brief short DILD this morning. I either look into a mirror or a TV screen and see a woman who a appears to be a model of some sort. She is laying on her back and the view above the top of her head. She looks at me/the camera. She reminds me of the woman from the "Secret Lover" LD I had a while back and I become lucid. I can see something like a business card next to her and I reach in and take it. All I can is the the name "ALMA MCCONNELL" in print on the card. I study the name for several second repeating it over and over to check it out IWL. Too much of this causes the dream to end and I briefly wake up. I try to DEILD but lack the focus. I don't remember after that.

Later I wondered if the last name was McDonald or McConnald but McConnell seems right. I did a web search and didn't find anything as Alma is an old name. (past life?) I did find out that there is an ALMA model agency. Some of those dark haired women seemed close it her but not quite right.

#227 - DILD - 5AM

I am in something like a large aquarium with my wife and her sister. I have a paint brush that is emitting some form of heat. I paint a random rocks and they form into sculptures of fish. At some point I think that I must need to go up for air but I don't feel like I am holding my breath. In fact, I am breathing normally. I look up and see the surface of the water there is a trickle of water hitting the surface making bubbles. I think, "My other body is someplace else and not in water. That's how I am breathing."

Then it dawns on me that I am dreaming. I know I had a goal but I can't seem to think how to get out of here. I begin swimming around looking for my wife but she has, of course, vanished. I swimming around for a while enjoying the ease of swimming and breathing underwater. I suck in and blow out exaggeratedly. As I swim along the length of the aquarium I notice a wall of mirror. I say, "I am dreaming." As I turn to the mirror and see the smiling idiot version of me looking back. I notice my hair is quite a bit longer and it is waving in the current of the water. Suddenly, the dream collapses and I wake up.

I lay still and recall the dream but before I can record it. I end up in a non lucid dream.

I walk up to a man sitting in a chair. He looks up and I recognize him as CanisLucidus. I start telling him about my LD and how long it took after G. I explain how I really thought it wasn't going to happen.

Me: It took about 35 years to get lucid this time.
CL: Wow, 35 years that's a long time.
Me: Well it was 35 years in dream time. Actually more like 7 hours.
CL: When did I do the TOTM? Was it when I was in Tucson?

I look down and notice I am leaning on some sort of counter top. There is a sicker or button of some sort that read "Tues".

Me: I think it was a Tuesday?
CL: But was I in Tucson? I can't remember.

I have no idea what he is taking about and as I flounder for a response I suddenly wake up just before the alarm clock.

#226 - SSILD - 5:49AM

I am playing an old Playstation game, Road Rash 3D. Soon there are impossible turns and only a partial view of the screen. I complain how hard this is. After a little while it turns into a guy driving a some dinky little car. It's like I am watching TV but I am controlling the actions of the actor. It seems British and I realize I am driving on the wrong side of the road though I am already on the left side. Cars swerve all over to avoid me. I shout, "BUT I AM DRIVING ON THE OTHER SIDE ALREADY!" Then, the car crashes and the guy rolls out. Two very hairy and shirtless men rush to him. The driver now has no shirt and smiles real big as he cuddles with the two men. I become disgusted by all the hairy gayness and turn away from the TV.

Now I am in some ally that seems like something from Sesame Street. There are two or three kids near me. There was something about some gang members and I begin to hear really cheesy hip hop music. I note this as odd and briefly wonder how I am going to describe the music in my dream journal. Then something happens.

I turn to my right and see a large trash can full of ice. I assume the gang members did that as their form of vandalism. I suddenly become fully lucid as I use my dream control to change the ice into cotton candy. I reach my hands out to the ice and will it to turn. The pile of ice become blurry and as my vision sharpens back up it now looks like pink and blue cotton candy. I pull out a large chunk of it and hand some to the kids as I shout, "COTTON CANDYYYYYY! I notice how light and fluffy the stuff feels; almost like holding air. Then I say, "See? Those guys weren't so bad after all."

For some reason I felt like my wife had been next to me during most of the dream and I turn to find her. I really want to share my cotton candy with her and boast about what I did. I still have a very large chunk in my hand and I take a bite. It doesn't taste quite like cotton candy but it is very sweet. I follow some narrow passage between buildings and begin to see her in a version of our kitchen at home. I rush to her but at that moment the dream fades and I wake up.

I did a quick wake back to bed this morning at 3AM. Just long enough to go pee and lay back
down to do SSILD cycles. Having reread the tutorial I payed closer attention to doing it right and taking my time. I fell asleep fairly quickly

Non Lucid Dream

I built a flying vehicle. It looks like just the base of a car with no wheels or more like a floorboard with seats. I am controlling height and forward motion with a set of joysticks. My two daughters are with me and I am taking them to school. At one point I have a hard time controlling the car and we spin upside-down. My younger daughter nearly falls out but the seatbelt kept her in. I barely notice that we are in some large gym. I say something about how important seat-belts are and we fly on but slowly and at a low level.

Now we are outside and I see kids from elementary school. The car vanishes and I am just hovering above them alone. I feel invisible and safe now that I can fly. I taunt them a little but decide I should stop because they will just find me later.

I wake briefly felling dumb for not getting lucid and do quick SSILD cycles before falling asleep again.


#225 - SSILD - 4:10AM

I am outside on my front porch. There are a bunch of people in my yard and cars parked everywhere like its some sort of party. Some guy is causing a big scene because he has to shave his arms but hes all embarrassed about it. He moaning and complaining as he starts running a razor up one arm. I see Laura standing in the street cheering him on and laughing.

I think he is being dumb and see no issue shaving my own arms. I look down and have a razor and begin to shave but its like there is no blade in it and does nothing to the hair. Some other guy walks up the first man and tells him that he has a lot of respect for him. I look the dude over and he is wearing a kilt and has his face painted like Mel Gibson in Braveheart. I laugh at him and then something clicks.

I decide that this had to be a dream but I don’t really believe it right away. I do a quick nose plug. I blow through but this I don't even feel pressure on my nose though I can clearly see my hand on my face. I grab a random person next to me and tell him this is a dream. He looks excited and smiles real big jumping up and down. I try to think of a goal but realize I didn't have one! I remember I saw Laura and became curious why I keep seeing her in dreams. I run out to the street to find her but she and almost all of the party people have now vanished. I search around but the dream has now collapsed and I wake up.

#224 - DILD - 4:00AM

I wake from another highly vivid dream at 3:40AM but I didn't become lucid. I was too pissed off at my wife because someone gave her their child and she brought him home. I yell at her and explain that this is illegal. Besides she didn't consult with me before she did it. On top of it all I find the boy in an overflowing diaper in the back bathroom with a strange dog. From the looks of it she had them both in there for several hours if not all day. I was furious that she would do something like that.

I when I wake up I realize that I didn't mantra with WILD and I lost awareness really fast. So this time I include it. Though I didn't WILD I was happy with a DILD as well as the extreme vividness of it all.

The first thing I notice is that I am lying flat on my stomach. There is some small square packets that I think of as some type of lube. I can hear the audio from a very cheesy 1950's instructional video explaining that this lube acts like a like a liquid condom and spermicide.

I sit up and see that I am in a darkened class room. The video is over and the other students are leaving. I make sure I am the last to leave as I am unsure of what is happening. Standing outside the door, I see a very sexy teacher dressed in a dark blue and black dress. She has long black hair pulled back. Her skin tone is on the pale side and I notice she is watching me with a flirty half smile. Her dark crimson lipstick makes me notice the shape of her mouth and I want to kiss her. I hear another student in the distant mention something about going to lunch. I say to the woman in a suggestive way, "So. Do you wanna go get some lunch with me?" (Not the greatest pick-up line but hey it's a dream ) She immediately throws herself into my arms and passionately kisses me. I think this is risky and we will get caught doing this. Then I remember that I am married but quickly dismiss this thought as false. She is the one married but I don't really care right now. I think of her as someone I know in waking life though she does not look like her at all. Feeling confused by all of this, and thinking that I am missing something, I stop the kissing her. I leave knowing that she will meet up with me at our usual spot.

As I step outside, I notice the countryside and immediately become lucid. The school is seated in a impossible valley with beautiful green rolling hills. There are no other buildings for as far as I can see and the sky is a pale and cloudless blue. I begin to fly low to the ground taking in the beautiful scenery. Soon, I begin to lose control and a strong wind destabilizes my flight. I decide to stop here and settle to the ground. When I turn back to the school I see the same woman lying in the grass waiting for me. She is on her back with one hand on her brow and the other resting the flat of her stomach. Her long shiny jet black hair is spread out on the grass beside her like a silk carpet. For the first time, I notice her eyes are a deep majestic and other worldly blue. Her crimson lips part slightly like she is about to speak. The sight of her takes my breath away and l lose all self control. I begin making out with her passionately. The feel of her lips on mine are as real as waking life. Once we begin having sex I fight against it and wake up a little but I relax to DEILD and re-enter anther part of the same dream.

I am still lucid but I have no control. I am looking over her shoulder from a third person perspective. I see myself sitting near but not with her in some type of foyer of the school. I am not myself but some overly mature high school kid. Probably a senior. She looks down at her hands, then quietly and sadly, she whispers, "I am not happy with my marriage."
With a look of annoyance, I shrug and say, "You think?"
I float around around to get a better view of our conversation but at that moment the dream goes black and I wake up a little.

I start to DEILD again but this time I start to form the TARDIS. I begin to feel the around the console rails but I stop myself thinking I should record the previous dream.

I have several other short vivid dreams after this but non are lucid.

#223 - WILD - 2:26 AM

My body begins to feel odd and I take note. I think I have had insomnia and I am finally getting into the WILD stage. I question weather or not I am deep enough but I fall for the classic mistake of expecting vibrations. I never get them but after a while I notice my legs doing really odd jerking/popping motions. I try to ignore it and just focus on awareness.

After a little longer and a series of random and confused images, I hear my son playing in the other room and the sound of the TV. It sounds like some kids program. Suddenly, my wife calls me to come help her. I suspect this is all not really happening but I am not quite sure. I open my eyes and look at the clock to check the time. It reads: 5:0L. At first I think the alarm should be going off but the "L" really stands out at me. I think I have to be in the dream for sure now.

I get up and go to her, curious what she wants. She is at my son's crib and hands him over to me to change his diaper. I take him out of reflex and I feel a little unsure now if I am really dreaming so I ask, "Are we dreaming? This is a dream right?"
She nods and agrees that this is a dream. I put my son down and say, "Well, I don't want that! His diaper doesn't matter now!" I do a few nose plugs then just to make sure that I am not being an ass in waking life. Satisfied, I turn to the door and tell her, "I'm sorry, but I'm leaving now."
She just smiles, "That's fine."
I stop, "Oh wait come with me!"
She nod's again and I pick my son up and go out the front door not bothering to check if she is coming or not.

I step off the front porch an hover across the yard with my son in my arms. The big Oak tree is a brilliant shade of green in the bright sunlight. I become distracted by a sound coming from the neighbor's house. I feel somewhat restricted holding my son now and decide that he can walk. (He's just now learning in waking life) I set him down and believe that he can walk and keep up with me. He does.

There is a kid next door that used the live at the house on the other side of us. He's messing around in the yard next to a giant dark blue pet carrier. For whatever reason, I smash into it, knocking it over. Then I pick it up and try to throw it on top of the house. It doesn't go very far and I try it several more times. Then I question why I'm even doing this and turn around to go back to my son. I don't see my wife anywhere but my son is tagging along behind me. I try to remember my tasks and after a moment I remember to sing the ABC's. I turn to sing to my son but he has disappeared now. I sing to him anyway hoping he will come back. When I get to "QRS" I pause. I can't remember rest for a moment and have to think really hard. Finally, I blurt out the rest of the song without any problem.

Now the dream is destabilizing a little, so I lay flat on my stomach feeling the sidewalk with my hands. I try to think of the next task but for some reason I think it has something to do with posting a joke on DV about Choline. I reach into my pocket and pull out my phone. There is some white text on a blank black screen that looks like a "tiny url". I try to memorize it to see if it loads an actual web page later but it seems pretty hopeless from the get go. I try to log into DV but my phone just will not work right. I mess with it for a while before I realize this wasn't even a TOTM. Now, I suddenly remember that I wanted to walk up a wall.

I run to my front porch and think of gravity shifting from the ground to the wall as I step onto it like I've done a few times before. When I reach the ceiling I do the same again. Now I am hanging there upside down but the dream goes dark on me again and I wake up.

#222 - DILD - 6:03AM

I am in strange version of work and maintenance is working on some chain to a large hoist mechanism. Travis asks me to help but I don't know what I am doing. I try to get a ladder up to where he is but I can't seem to get it to work right. Soon I give up and he says he's going to go get Jon.

I sit down on the floor and look around. I see Michelle and some other woman working on something at desks. They look like they are writing or taking tests. Then they both put their hands over their faces like Weeping Angles. I find this amusing and want to take a picture with my phone but remember we can't take pictures. Then something starts happening and begin to realize this is a dream. I look around and see Darlene smiling at me like she knows something. I look down and notice that I am laying on my black comforter. Now I get it and I decide I don't like this dream and try and in-dream WILD.

I lay down and spin until I am in the void. Then I find myself in a type of SP in my bed. I feel very hot in my chest and arms. I realize I am wearing a thick sweater and try to take it off but I can't move. The feeling of being hot but unable to sweet is unbearable. I try to move again but can't. I blow on my self hoping that will cool me down. A part of me thinks this is probably not real and I should try a way to block it out but I can't focus on anything else. I try calling out to my wife hoping she will hear me and wake me up. I get out a strained. "Babe. Wake me up. It's so hot." I feel her stir and touch my face, then kiss me. The feeling is numbed and I know its not real. I say, "You're not even real are you?" I feel panicked now and begin to whimper, "It's so hot. It's so hot. It's so hot." I finally wake up not feeling at all hot but I have the sensation of a phantom energy on my chest.

#221 - MILD - 4:27AM

I have some dream about being at the library with my wife and kids. I wake up and MILD. Soon I am laying on a floating platform and using a joy stick to control it. I am flying around in some large office building and want to get outside. I think to phase through the ceiling but find some glass doors instead. I see Ronnie from work smiling at me as I leave.

Now I am outside and become fully lucid. I decide that I want the platform to become a skybike. I concentrate and feel it morph under me. It feels soft like a pillow and I cant seem to form the handle bars right. I decide it doesn't matter and I don't really need them. I stop now thinking there was something I was going to do but I just can't remember. I look at the twilight sky and see 3 bright lights floating and morphing. recognize this as typical for me and look away. Still, I sit idle and my attention is drawn back to the lights. They move and morph like before and I stare at them in a daze.

The dream goes black for a second and I decide I should just investigate the lights. I visualize going there and the dream comes back. I find myself hanging on the wing of a passenger plane. I see people looking out at me through the windows and I punch the glass intending to let the cabin pressure blow the people out. Then I stop, thinking that it won't work that way in a dream. I "spiderman" my way to the cockpit and find it has a door like a helicopter. I open it and rip the pilot out. The copilot seems to be an "extra" and I politely ask him, "Will you be my co-pilot?" He makes no reply.

I look forward and notice that now I an driving on a country road at night. I think about trying the Hell task. I try to imagine a hole opening in the road but it doesn't feel right. I decide to try another way. I pull up on the controls and the plane goes up then I bring it nose down into the ground. We phase through it for a long way as the plane and all the people disappear behind me. I am now falling down a series of tunnels. At that point the dream gets dark and changes.

I lose lucidity and find myself looking at tunnels like in an ant farm but on a much larger scale. I am cleaning them with a large Q-tip and I see many roots growing in all directions. For some reason I think of this as my ear canal. I see some section that I think must be my ear drum. My dad passes by and I follow him.

Then I realize what just happened and become lucid again. My dad asks me what happened and I say, "I tried going to Hell, but you know that aquarium thing in the next room? I started cleaning it like it was ear wax." I wake up.

The 3 LDs I had this morning were bizarrely interesting. I changed my G dosing a bit with some unexpected results. Nothing went the way I expected and I think my lucidity levels probably wavered a bit here and there. This first dream was not quite as vivid as I had hoped to start with but as the dream went on it became more and more clear.

#220 - DEILD - 2:56AM

I wake up from some non lucid dream that I cannot remember and go into DEILD mode. I find myself in a type of void very quickly. I am glad for that because this time I want to form the TARDIS from the inside out. I reach out and feel railing with one hand. It's pretty solid right away. I follow the hexagon shape around the center console several times. The speed gets faster and fast and I start to feel a little like I am just spinning. I slow down and decide to try and feel the console. It's there but its fuzzy. I continue feeling with both hands until something big happens.

There is a klaxon alarm and a screen comes into view like some radar. I see one yellow dot leaving and two red dots coming my way. There is a computer voice saying, "WARNING. PROXIMITY ALARM." The first thing that comes into mind is that the Daleks have found me already. I am startled but also amused that I am in the TARDIS. I take a quick look around and see it looks very much like it should though a little like a video game (Playstation Home). I look up and notice the rings on the ceiling. I still have a strong instinct to run and that moment I hear the TARDIS engines make that unique sound. I know I must be moving on someplace else and become very curious where I'll end up.

I look back at the doors and just get a gimps of The Doctor leaving and I quickly follow him out. There is a brief confusion of light and color and then I realize I am in my house facing the door to the bedroom. I walk in and see there is no bed but two weeping angles coming at me from the bathroom and frozen on sight. I stop and stare at them being careful not to blink. I notice they look like they should in the face but they don't have the wings and are wearing actual clothes. For a moment I wonder if they are just vampires but decide they are not because they are following the rules.



Then I sense another person who is not The Doctor. Without looking I tell him to keep an eye on one of the angles. I glance over to see if he is listening and freak out that I stopped looking. When I look back one of the angles are gone! I assume it went around the other side and will come up behind us. I tell the other person to turn around and he catches the angel just before it gets us. I decide we have to dispose of these before something bad happens. (I wonder why I was so scared. It would have been cool to let it get me!)

Then, for whatever reason, my lucidity drops a bit and we both grow bird beaks and attack the angles. The feeling of it is odd and realistic but I don't let that deter me. I get mine in the throat and take it down then tear into it's stomach like a zombie. I am surprised that it is full of shelled sunflower seeds then the entire body becomes a mound of it. We both begin to eat until there is nothing left. My throat becomes very dry and I feel like I will choke if I don't get a drink of water. This thought brings my lucid level up a bit and I stop what I am doing. I force myself to ignore the feeling in my throat.

I say, "I was supposed to find NyxxC" I look over at the other DC for the first time and see that he is a Skyrim looking Orc. He smiles at me and starts to giggle. I get the feeling that he has become horny and realize that we are all too now alone. I also come to the realization that I am a woman. I realize that I must be the female companion of The Doctor. This dream has gone all wrong. I was supposed to be The Doctor and NyxxC the companion. I rudely say to the big dumb Orc, "Not going to happen. Forget it." The way I say that reminds me of Amy Pond. I ignore that thought and I walk out for the room looking for NyxxC.

I go out onto the front porch and see my ex wife sitting there. I think lucidity dropped completely here. We talk a bit and I cannot remember the conversation. She says something like "Her Baby." I know that she calls a name... Gloria. I feel like that not only am I a female but I am a female O At some point and for whatever reason, I call the Orc outside. His name is Balrog.

Then I remember my lucidity. I walk away from my ex a bit and look up at the night sky. The stars look about like the do every morning in waking life when I go to work. I turn to my ex and ask her, "Where is The Doctor?"
She seems confused, "Who?"
I repeat annoyed now, "The Doctor!"
She replies, "Doctor Who?"
At that moment I hear the TARDIS engines. When I look, the TARDIS is vanishing from the other side of my front porch. That SOB left me I decide now is a good time to wake up.

I was really surprised by this dream so early in the night. I had only been a sleep 3 hours and had quite a bit to drink before.

#219 - DILD - 12:29AM

This is a little foggy in places but the first thing I remember is some image of a normal woman sort of melting into a pool on the floor and transforming into something hideous. My friend Jana shows up and I somehow understand that this is her nightmare. I tell her that the next time she sees this she just know that she is dreaming and take control of it. I say, "Look of this is just in your mind. It's probably stress or unresolved childhood issues." I look out side through a glass and there are larger than life bills stacked up. I point, "See?"


I realize something at this point and feeling surprised and a little unsure by this I stop and stare at her. Her appearance comes into sharp view. I say something like, "This is a dream isn't it?" She nods then I for some reason feel like we are sharing a dream. I say, "Are you lucid?" Again she nods. I become extremely excited and jump up and down grinning. She looks at me like I am an idiot and tells me something like, "Calm down." I realize that I could wake myself up so I do just that.
She then, takes my hand and pulls me out of the area that we are in. I realize this is a mall and we must have been in some store.

There is a little gap in memory here but we basically wonder around as she leads me on. There was something about CanisLucidus. We make our way into a small hallway. The floor is tiled and there is a potted tree in the corner.

I see the creepy lady at the end of the hallway coming our way. She looks a bit like Martha Steward and I know that she will turn into the monster at any moment. I tell Jana to just run past while I take care of her. I know that I can control the situation and I run toward her. I jump and somehow land on her back. I press my hands on both sides of her head and concentrate. I tell her that she will not change. Jana runs past and I jump of the woman. I tell Jana that she has to believe that she will go away. I look and the woman continues walking on like nothing happened. I say, "See? It's no problem."