Xanous' Dream Journal

#203 - 4:24AM - WILD/DEILD

I wake from some dream. It feels like nothing but hypnagogia. I roll to my left and take a peek at the clock and see it's 4:02AM. I decide to do breathing meditation. After some time I see a lot of hypnagogia and my body feels different. I focus on relaxing my body more and it starts to feel like jell-o. Suddenly I get strong vibes.

I try rolling but nothing really happens. It feels a little like I am spinning but not very vivid. I can't "get out of bed" so I just visualize walking in the living room and am very pleased when I see the dream slowly turn "on" like a dimmer switch on a light. I take a few steps in the living room and become annoyed by the feel of something like a hood on my head. It starts to obstruct my vision and instead of fighting it, I just ignore it by rubbing my hands and then feeling the floor.

My vision clears up and I see my cats near me. I reach out to pet them but they dart away from me. There is a third cat that I don't have in waking life and I reach out to pet it as well but it shies away like the others. Finally I reach out a littler faster and more determined and grab Stella. She tries to get away at first and then yields like she finally recognizes me. As I pet her I try to remember my goals but as hard as I might try nothing comes to mind. I decide to just enjoy the moment and let it go. I soon wake up.

I lay still recalling the dream. Suddenly I remember that I wanted to find my guru in the dream. I have been reading a lot of Dream Yoga material and like the idea of getting wisdom from my higher self. I decide at that point to go ahead and try to DEILD. I totally relax my body now and get vibrations straight away.

I wait a moment and let the vibes intensify and then fade a little. Instead trying to move I just tell myself there is someone at the front door. I think about opening it and the dream materializes once again. For some reason I feel like I am losing lucidity and I remind myself to be aware. As I try to open the door I think I have to unlock it first. The dead bolt isn't working right and I remind myself how silly this is. I stop messing with the lock and just open the door.

The air outside feels cold on my bare skin. I feel embarrassed by the idea that I am just in my underwear. I decide to let that go and step into the yard. I look up to call out to the dream. The sky has a partial moon obscured by clouds. I call out, "Where is my guru? Guru, come here!"

A helicopter roars by and then hovers above me some at a normal distance in the sky. As I watch it, it morphs and distorts. I am not amused. This is pretty normal for my dreams. Then, I hear a car drive behind me in the street. I turn to look but only catch the tail lights as it blurs past.

I call out the dream again, "Rinpoche! Can you please come to me?" Something makes me want to look down the street to my right. At the end of the block, there is a shadowed figure of a man standing motionless under the yellow glow of a street lamp. He is just looking at me. This not that creepy as first so I smile and motion him to come to me. The begins slowly walking and I think faster. Suddenly, his movement blurs a little then blinks out and reappears much closer all in an instant. The look of it is a little creepy and like a horror film. As I fight the instinct to be afraid and run, he zoom walks like this several times until he is standing before me. (Thinking about his after the fact, isn't this how we all move in the dreamscape without realizing it?)

Now I see his face. I am surprised that he is a clean cut dark completed Italian man who looks a lot (but not exactly) like Shia Labeouf. The very non-Tibetan-Buddhist looking man promptly sticks out a hand and says his name is "Dolce" (dōl'chā'). I shake his hand and before I can speak he says, "You are Straight.
I am confused by this and dumbly say, "My name is Straight. OK. And you said you are Dol...?"
"Dolce."
"Dolc?" I repeat this over and over in my mind to remember. I also note his strange manner of speaking. He sounds a little like he is from the Bronx but also very foreign. (I had never heard of Dolce that I can recall until now and I didn't know it was an Italian word at the time.) I also note he is wearing blue jeans and a gray hoodie, hood up.
He nods at me and says, "I like how you were all like..." and makes a mocking gesture with his hands that I don't really understand. With out a moments pause he continues to ramble about being concerned for his family. He wants to know how they are doing. He asks about his sister and mother and...
I interrupt him, "Can you just tell me something wise? I really don't have much t..."
Now he cuts me off "In a moment." Now, he begins pacing back and forth seeming preoccupied with something.
I let out a quiet. "Oh my God." as I realize that this is not going to happen. He continues talking so fast that it begins to sound like gibberish to me. I begin to have to fight to stay focused on the dream and in a few moments I wake up saying to myself REMEMBER

I have a short dream where I have been awake all night and I fret about the lost of sleep. I try to lay down on a pallet in the floor. I keep looking at my phone and the alarm clock and the times don't match. They distort and become blurry. I fail to catch this dream sign and worry about school and wonder if I did all my homework. I remember I did my math but I feel like I missed something. Then I think I am not in high school any more. I tell my self that I went back to college. My son wakes and my wife comes in the room. I have the blanket over my head. She pats me and asks if I am ok. I say I feel sick. I decide to stay home with my son and finish my homework. I think I can go to bed when she gets off work.

I wake up and DEILD. Almost instantly, I get strong HI of young Audrey Hepburn. I latch on to that and soon I feel pressure in my hands and I see her face close to mine. Everything is unrealistic and she looks more like a still photograph than anything.



I begin to dance with her hoping that the motion to will draw me deeper into the dream. I begin to hear Louis Armstrong - A Kiss to Build a Dream On in my mind. We sway and spin to the music. At some point I stop feeling like I am in bed and more like I am actually standing and dancing but not all the way. For now I just enjoy dancing with Audrey. I try looking around but all I can see is darkness and shadow around me. I try to just focus in her face and the feeling of movement. Then I begin to hum with the words of the song. It sounds like I am really humming and I worry that my wife can hear me. Then I wonder if I should have felt vibes or if I need to (its just noise dumbass). Too much of the wrong thinking shatters the dream and I become fully awake.

I am not sure why she came to mind but the feeling afterwards was like her ghost visited me. I doubt it but that was the feeling. I probably won't add this one to my count but it was still a really cool experience.

I have a dream that I am traveling in a car with my wife, my son and her sister. I am riding in the back trying to sleep and have a LD but either my sister-in-law was too loud or she had the radio blasting. She was driving and my wife was riding in the passenger. The odd thing here is that my wife looked just like my ex. I find this confusing but I let it go for now because I am really just focused on getting lucid.
After some time we get home and I carry my son in. I just leave him in the car-seat for someone else and go straight to bed. The house looks like a meshing of my current house and the first house I bought with my ex. I lay down in bed and wonder why my ex with is us. I ask my self who I really love but I can't remember. I relax and the vibrations hit.

I become fully lucid now and remember the reality of now. I feel some anger toward my ex but let it go. I spend a lot of time in SP fun land. I transition out of bed several times but I am blind and wobbly. I fall several times and each time I just go with it and either dig into the earth or a wall but I always end up back in bed like repeat hell. Each transition is a struggle and eventually I just really and focus on the vibrations. I try to visualize but nothing is coming. At one point I hear my son crying. (fake I think) I get out of bed and try to go to him. But quickly realize I am still in SP.

I have a FA and try entering into my bedside DJ and quickly realize I am still dreaming.

I have another long SP episode and this time I relax and meditate. I pray asking God to help me. I ask that my vibrational energy increases and I enter into a higher realm. At this point I wake up for good.

I have several other vivid dream but none come close to being lucid. I felt really tired and had bad technique.

I had to big dream signs this morning and I'm finally beginning to catch the military one.

School. My old supervisor is teaching me math. I was trying to grasp it but she didn't really show me how to solve the problem. I kept asking her to show me a few examples but the just kept on talking nonsense. I can still remember It started off as a word problem and then we wrote out a mildly complex algebraic equation.

Military I am on my way to a military base. I think about how I was in high school again but it just didn't make sense to go through all that again. I know that I wanted to do because I feel robbed having to go to a crappy private school but if I'm going to take classes it may as well be college anyway. I arrive in some open air Jeep. When I get close I am pushing what looks like some sort of child's electric car. There's a long dirt road and a building sitting in the middle of a vast open field. I approach a man in a lawn chair and ask him were I'm supposed to go. I tell him that I am a new recruit. The man says something flippant and an older man in uniform points to a small pavilion back up the road. As I push my car in that direction I think about how I really don't want to be here and I ask myself why I am doing it. At that point I realize I am dreaming and tell myself that it doesn't matter so I may as well play it out. I still feel reluctant to continue but I do anyway.
I think I lose my low level lucidity now and the next thing I remember is I am trying to decide what branch of the military I am joining. For some reason I go with Air Force. I open a door and find a small bed in a large closet. I wake up.

I had another vivid dream this morning but it has slipped my mind and I didn't record anything on my GP. I don't even know where it is right now.

#202 - 4:42AM - DEILD

Something about joking with a cop. I am wearing basketball shorts and dress shoes. My wife laughs at me.

I wake up realizing I missed my WILD and DEILD

I feel light and floaty with no vibrations. After a second of waiting I try to move and am a little surprised that I am actually dreaming already. Again I am blind but this time I focus on seeing my hands close to my face as I walk around. My hands appear as dark shadows at first then its like someone turned the light on and I can see. I wonder around my house looking for Obama. I call out for him noting how my voice sounds a little afraid that I will call out in waking life and wake my wife up. My voice is loud, clear and echoing. I go to the other bedroom and look in the closet. Its all the wrong color and there is a lot of space behind the clothes. I call out hoping hes just hiding. I notice how different my voice sounds in here just like it would in walking life — a closed-in amplified sound. I appreciate that little detail for a moment then move on. At some point I remember looking down at my feel and see that I am still wearing my black basketball shorts and dress shoes. Seeing that I also have dress socks up to my mid calf was too much; I have to laugh but I continue on, hoping that if I ignore what I am wearing it won't be there.

I wonder to the back rooms and start calling out for Bush instead. I say, "Well maybe George Bush is around here then.... Bush! Where you at?" I look in the back bathroom but its void-dark in there so I past it up. I begin to feel tired of looking for a president to punch so I say, "Fuck it. I 'll just go outside and play." I walk to the living room and see the front door is open and the glass storm door is closed. Smiling, I run and dive head first through the glass. The door knob catches me mid phase and I get hung up for a moment. I have to push the door way to finish flying through the glass.

When I reach the porch, I stand up. I can smell rain and the air feels chilly. It's midday but there is a thick fog hanging at the tree top level. I jump off the porch and hover for a moment then land hard. I am a little shocked how solid that felt. I jump a few more times hovering and noting the birds-eye perspective of the front yard. I decide to focus-fly to a tree branch but can't get it to work. I shrug it off and see something like a red Dodge Magnum parked on the street. I immediately start punching out the windows for fun. The impact of it hurts a little and I feel like I cut my right hand. I can feel the sting of the cut but I really don't feel like looking. I really don't want to deal with blood right now. After I punch out all the glass on one side I decide to change modes and push my hand through the glass on the other side of the vehicle rather than breaking it. I feel like showing off to myself my control of the environment. I suddenly, wake up at this point.

2:00AM

There was a huge snake on my house and hanging off the tree. It had to be at least 20 foot long and 2 feet thick. I stuck the sharp end off my pickax in it's face. It falls to the ground. I don't want to touch it so I stick the pickax in its head again to drag it around to show my wife but the head pops off. As I examine the head it turns brown and dries up then becomes some kind of blue cloth. It's a ski mask.

The dream changes and we are at the creek. A couple sneaks there camping gear in from the other side. Some dude gets mad they didn't pay and confronts them. I just watch realizing I didn't pay either but we're not camping.

I try to sleep for another 30min until my 2:30 WBTB but I feel too awake. The alarm goes off and when I get up I feel really tired. I lay back down until 2:51AM and the have a mini WBTB take G and think about goals. I forget any induction and just fall back to sleep really fast.

#201 - 3:33AM - DILD

Obama is preaching at some familiar church. He says something about "You can't have a double seater." I say, "Yes you can." He's sitting in a chair behind the pulpit. Someone in the audience complains. He tries to clarify but it's all obvious lies. We all argue with him.

I have a FA and record the dream in my DJ. Then I hear a bunch of noise in the living room. My daughter is still up. I look and see my mom with my son. My dad is watching TV. I lay back down and hear the loud TV. I yell, "Some JACKASS has the TV up too loud. It would be nice is people could sleep!" My wife shushes me but I don't care. I'm too pissed off. The box fan is barely working and I try turning it up for sound. The TV is pissing me off and I storm into the living room and say something rude to my dad. He says, "I know I'm dumb." He had the old cabinet TV real close to the couch and I turn it to a barely audible level. I lay back down feeling so pissed off. I can't believe they are ruining my G night like this. Then I realize this is a common dream sign. (Disturbances when trying to get lucid) I do a nose plug and blow through.

I get out of bed but I am blind. I feel my way out. I bump into the table really hard. I get to the front door and have to unlock it. I step out but I am still blind. I pause, then find myself back in bed with no vibe I try spinning and rolling but it feels real. I am move my arms and I grab the wire frame headboard. A piece of it turns into a cold metal rope and I start pulling myself up. I feel like I am floating and I smile real big. Then I feel gravity shift and I am back in bed. I wait and clear my mind with mantra. I try looking into the void to form a dream but there is nothing. Then I visualize walking and the dream blinks on.

I start pacing around the house rubbing my hands. The dream feels real unsteady but it's brightly lit and full of DC activity. I think to go out the back but the dream starts to blur out. I wonder if my brain just needs time to finish rendering the scene. I try to stay in the living room since this area is the more clear. My mom is doing something in the other room. I try to think of goals but its hard. China comes to mind first but I realize now is not the time to travel. Then I remember fireworks. I see something just out the window. I reach through and blindly grab a bottle rocket. I quickly eat it feeling the wooden stick poke the inside of my cheeks and tongue. The bottle rocket crunches like dry leaves and then quickly dissolves. I turn and see my younger sister coming at me with a match but it blows out. She quickly turns around disappointed and walks away. I say, "Well commeer." I realize I will have no idea how to spell that later. (I still don't) She says, "The match went out." I decide I don't need a match and just blow out of my mouth. The bottle rocket shoots out with a fizzling sound a little smoke trail but sticks into the wall like a dart and does not explode. I feel disappointed with that and follow my sister into the kitchen. I see another bottle rocket on the stove and eat that one too. As I chew this one down I decide to ask my sister for another match thinking that would help but I quickly wake up smacking my mouth.

2:30AM

I have another dream about being in the military. Damn I need to catch those. Something about my going on about how cheap they are being...

3:37AM

I listened to my relaxation app without the ocean sounds. After an hour I had crazy vibes. This time was like no other. It literally felt like a cell phone was on vibration continuously but it was vibrating my entire head. My first thought was that is was my GP vibration alarm to start my WBTB. This triggered a non lucid FA where it wakes my wife. I try turning the alarm off but it won't stop. After a moment I wake up for real and am surprised that my GP is lying next to me and I have earbuds in. I'm not really sure if this was the vibes or just a crazy FA.

4:20AM

I have a nightmare where my wife and I have an infant baby girl. She is in our bed and I sleep walk and but her in a pile of laundry. Then I FA and can't find her. I panic and eventually find her face down in a swaddle under the clothes. She is fine and I cry because I am so thankful that I didn't cause her harm.

2:18AM

Short dream about watching a football game in a strange house with my wife. The rooms keep shifting but I see the T.V. UT is beating A&M very badly. The score is like 90 something to 15.

I listen to Relax Melodies app. I set low theta 4Hz with Duduk music and ocean sounds. After about an hour I get vibes but I become actuely aware of the ocean sounds. The waves sound too loud and the vibrations stop. I mistakenly think I am awake. I have a non lucid dreamlet of hovering over a rocky beach. I hear the loud sound again and I fully wake up and turn the app off. I roll over and have many dreams but only remember fragments. I was too lazy to record.

I find it amazing that my dreams sometimes seem to be themed for the night. My recall has been a little better lately and I've been trying like hell to get lucid naturally.

1:17AM

Some dorm room party. I find my cousin and party with him. I can't find any beer but I find some rum/tea mixture.

I am outside at night walking home. Some old lady on a bridge about 10 feet up wants my help. She crosses her arms and falls back and I catch her. We are now on some shore in bleachers waiting for a boat. Then I see flashing lights to my left and know someone is coming. The lights go out and now we are confused and disoriented by a strobe light. It is 3 guys trying to rob us of our electronics. I see my phone and GP on the seat next to me. He takes it. I feel they are too important to let him. I fight him and only can he flashes of the action. Then he falls and bashes his head on a large rock. I slam his head again and it kills him. His face looks like Gollum. At the last of the fight my phone and GP fall and shatter to a million peices. I somehow kill the other guys. Now, I am severely hurt. I feel like my mouth is busted up and I spit out a lot of blood. I hear someone say, "He hemorrhaging." Someone points to a hospital down the street. I slowly limp there wheezing and gasping for breath. I check in with a nurse and she asks, "What have you been taking?" All I can say is, "I'm drunk."

Other dreams forgotten

Time unknown

First part is hazy... something happens. I park a large pickup with a trailer. I had stashed some stole bank cash in the bushes and came back for it. My buddy went in a house to do something. I sneak out and get the money. I see a lot of paper coin rolls and stacks of really large bills. They are in various plastics bags all in a paper sack. I snatch the money and get back in the truck. I am very nervous that someone saw me. My buddy comes back and I talk to him. We leave. It's day time now and a cop follows us. We stay cool and he turns off. I think we need to switch vehicles. I see C.H. in a yellow bug in front of us. We plan to get in with him but he has a wreck in font of us. He decides to run and hit another car. I talk how surprised I am that a minister would do this. He gets out and runs on foot. I hope he jacks another car without being seen.

5:16AM

I am at work waiting for some meeting to start. There are some invented devices. One drills into plastic and runs on clean burning fuel rather than electric. I think I know the mixture and we have the chemical. It's Isopropyl Alcohol and another ingredient. I think I should mix some up real quick but think I won't have time. There is a display in the middle of a table. That one guy I don't know his name from work created it. It looks like a star wars game. I see you can control storm troopers. I wake up.

I've had several interesting non lucid dreams the past few nights... Some of these dream are reoccurring and I ALWAYS fail to recognize it.

July 15 1:34AM

I have another dream where I am in the military. This time it is specifically Army. I am not trying to escape it this time. I want it. I spend a lot of time saying bye to my wife with much anguish and guilt. She says it will only be nine months but I told her I was thinking only six. She assures me that she will be there for me no matter how long.

Separate dream much later. Time unknown.

I am doing some training for the Army. There is some drill. Gas fills the room. I am told to smash my hand in some device as the pain of it will keep me from dying from the gas. I do so and there is no sensation. The ceiling lowers and I am forced to the floor. I feel claustrophobic.

Again separate dream much later. Time unknown

I am still in the Army. We are training with blanks but some how people get shot and die. We stop and there is not much concern for the dead. There is some conversation as I watch a machine or robotic arm reload and package large caliber rifle bullets. Suddenly I see a flash of red. I look around and see someone has a laser trained on me. I shout, "SNIPER!" Some woman acts as my protector and forces me to the ground. She covers me with her own body. Another solider flanks the sniper and shoots him in the face.
The scene skips and the sniper looks cartoony with half his face hanging off. There is no gore or blood. He is alive and well and ranting about some kind of religion and that he needs to kill. He will strike again.

3:32AM

I took huperzine and had a dream about being able to swim extremely fast. My body moved like a fish. Then I lost the ability and spent a lot of time trying to get it back.

July 16 4:06AM

Obama is at the mall here in town. There is some huge room set up with folding chairs. All the chairs get haphazardly rearranged last minute. A few people from work are overly excited to see him. I roll my eyes and think they are idiots. I really don't want to be here but figure I might as well stay since I am. Obama has a young daughter and she gives some sort of intro. Then Obama comes out and laughs her off. She wasn't supposed to do that. The he climbs some steps to a catwalk and uses a giant clock for a podium. He begins to speak and then realizes the mic wont work even though I can hear him fine. He is escorted outside to get fixed up with a new mic but time passes and he doesn't come back. I wonder is someone will shoot him. Then I hear a siren like an ambulance. I think surely that's not for him. Then I realize I hear a faint pop from outside just before. I think someone shot him.

Everyone panics and runs outside. I tell them its not use you wont know what happened. They will stop you. They crowd to the exit and seem to just stop. I wonder in a restroom and pee. After I see Jon and talk. I say that n***** president must have got shot. (Sorry, I'm not racist I just grew up hearing that word. Don't panic. ok? ) Some black teenage boy hears me say that and calls his buddy from the stall. He looks pissed and I don't want to explain myself so I run away into the crowd. I wonder the mall and start talking to another black teenage boy. I find that he's pretty cool and we become friends. I think this is also a good disguise from the other guys looking for me. We've been talking awhile and I realize I don't know his name so I ask him. He says it's Mike. I say, "Hey! That's my name tooooo!" We walk together and I see the other guys hiding in various places and looking for me but they see right past me. It's like I am invisible to them. I hear one say, "Well maybe he went that way. Keep looking."

We walk to the end of the mall and it becomes some grocery store. We both say we are looking for our family. I know I came with my mom and wife and I need to find them to leave. We end up in the parking lot and it is getting dark. We begin to part way and suddenly Mike tries to kiss me. I push him away and become angry. Pointing to his head he says, "Sorry. We're in two different places." He starts to walk off and then turns around. "We can still be friends, right?"
"Sure ya man. You're cool." I feel bad for lying to him but I just wanted to get away and forget the whole thing. I quickly walk away and look for my car. It's gone and I become angry that they would just leave me. I fish in my pocket for my phone and become relived when I pull it out. I try to call my wife but I can't get the contacts to pull up. I try to dial the number manually and get halfway then find it hard to remember.

Just then a car slows down on the street I am on. I hear one of the black boys yells something. It's the first one. I recognize his voice. I run into some abandoned shack and lock myself in. I think the cheap sliding locks wont keep someone out for long. I try to dial 911 but my hands are thick an numb. Finally I get a call out but they put me on hold. I just hope I don't get beat up too bad before they find me. I wake up.

5:24AM

I am at work but the old plant before they moved. I go to break and tell Jon about the dream I had. I recalled every bit of the dream with total accuracy. I begin leaving out major chunks of the dream when I realize he is not that interested. I just tell him the highlights.

Snooze alarm

I dream that I am in some version of some house that is familiar. The cats are eating fish from the floor vents and the sink is overflowing. One of my girls clogs the toilet and I tell her to handle it herself. She can start doing things on her own. Then I smell it. The most God-awful shit smell ever. I think maybe I should handle this myself. Thankfully I wake up.

#200 - 5:55AM - DILD - 3 of 3

I'm in the old recliner we just got rid of and it's in the corner of dining room with no table. My wife is talking to me about how she just wants to learn it to be able to change bad dreams. I excitedly say, "Wait a minute.... YOU want to learn to lucid dream?!?!" She walks into the kitchen not saying a word now. Then it dawns on me. "Oh, this is a dream." I feel disappointed now and don't seem to care to do much of anything.

I either briefly woke up or just fell non-lucid for a second here.

I am still in the recliner and my wife points out a window, "Why is the sky red?" I look and see the blinds are open. The sky looks overcast but it's not red exactly. IT'S PINK!I proclaim, "This is a dream!"

I wake up and try to recall the dream. Then I want to DJ but as I am entering it in my device I notice the letters look like gibberish and my vision is in and out. I realize this is my dream DJ so I stop typing and try to just DIELD.

I have a FA and walk into the kitchen. My wife is feeding our son mustard greens. I notice there is a puddle of some liquid under the table and pieces of cooked mustard greens on the floor. I become disgusted at the mess so I get a towel and start cleaning up. I leave the towel under the highchair and wait for them to finish sitting at the table with them.

Feeling bored, I start staring out the window. The sky is pink. I don't become excited this time. I don't say a word. I just slowly walk out the back door, rubbing my hands to stabilize. I notice my girls playing in the back room but I ignore them. When I get outside I remember my task to find NyxCC. I begin shouting, "Nixcy...Nixcy!" I try expectation to think she is just hiding from me someplace and I will soon walk up on her. There's no answer or NyxCC anyplace. Some truck passes by in the alley and I start walking there to look for her. I can hear the crunch of my shoes on the gravel as I walk. Suddenly, I can hear my wife yell, "Really?" I look back at the house expecting her to be at the back door but I don't see her. There is slight guilt that I just walked out on my family to go looking for some other woman. I want to tell her that it's not like that but I realize it really doesn't matter in a dream.

Then, I remember how I found CanisLucius one time. I try to summon a cellphone in my right hand but nothing shows up. I pretend to push something on my invisible phone and say, "Nixcy". When I put the phone to my ear I hear nothing so I repeat the step but this time I don't look at my hands and I begin to feel an actual phone. I put the phone to my ear and hear a somewhat low but very feminine voice. I think her voice must not be right but I just go with it. "Nixcy?" She answers with some nonsensical word groupings. I can't remember now but it was stuff like, Pandemonium Laptop and Parsnip Pretzels (I'm making that up but that was the gist of it)

The dream is staring to fade to dark but the audio sticks. I reply, "Whaaat?" only to get more gibberish. I think that I must have spoken out loud in my sleep now. To check it I say, "What the fuck?" I can still hear my feet crunching on gravel. I feel my wife roll over in bed and I wake up.

7:03AM

I am at some sort of diner theater with my wife. I have some problem with my meal and I am escorted back to the kitchen. Everyone is very kind and helps me out. I am given a wooded plate with a nice salad on it, though I keep thinking it's awfully small for a salad. Someone in the kitchen has a problem and an old woman starts pacing back and forth praying for her. I walk away and see another woman kneeling on the floor holding her hand. There is a broken plate and a little blood. The praying woman rushes over to her. I sympathetically suck through my teeth and say, "Ewwww. Ouch." I tell the waiter that was helping me that I will show myself out. I go through the doors that other people were not allowed to go. I ask if it's OK and no one objects. It a small area with several metal doors with labels. Mostly stuff like "Employees Only". I turn left and see an elevator. I push a button and it opens. When I get inside I instantly know that I am dreaming. I rub the shiny metal of the elevator and push the "1" button. As I wait for the elevator to open again the dream fades and I wake up.

#199 - 5:18AM - WILD - 2 of 3

I realize I drifted off too much and come back a little. I feel tense so I just focus on relaxing my body. I feel like I flatten out and sink into the bed a little. Then the vibrations come. I try to transistion and spinning but nothing will happen. Then I try just looking into the darkness. I see a spot of vision forming but I wonder if one eye opened. I open them for real and realize I was actually forming a dream so I close them again.

Suddenly I am fully lucid standing in the bathroom. My wife is in the next room saying some thing about getting two for one at Sonic. I say, "It doesn't matter. It's just a dream." She replies with, "Well, do you want to go or not?" Not having anything else in mind I decide to go along with this dream.

I move to the door but the dream skips to us getting into the car. Our car is not our car it is some crazy hot-wheels-looking sports car. As my wife puts our son in the car, I summon a key in my hand. I note the odd shape of it but don't pay it much attention. I notice we have manual transmission and I smile a little. The engine sounds beautiful and I peel out of the driveway driving like a maniac.

I at every intersection I peel out driving way too fast. I begin to feel guilty having our son in the car while driving like this but I assure myself that it is just a dream. At that moment I hear sirens and see a cop car on my six in the rear view. I really don't want to deal with this and for a moment I visualize doing something violent to the cop. But no, I don't want to do that either so I just choose to ignore it. The cop is not important. I notice I am driving really slow behind to cars and look back at the rear view. The cop is gone now.

I swerve around the cars and drive crazy some more pulling off several drifts. At some point I see a huge overpass highway in my neighborhood. I laugh at this and just keep driving on. Then, I realize we passed sonic and I do a smoky 180 drifting U-turn. I am about to pull in the parking lot but I suddenly wake up.

I am a little disappointed with this set of lucids. I just couldn't seem to keep the dream together for very long. I experienced multiple awakenings with mild insomnia. Still, it was a fun morning. I think I need to refine my WILD technique. I'm getting really sloppy with it.

WBTB time 3:00AM

#198 - 3:44AM - DILD - 1 of 3

I am at work and I know that it is very early in the morning. I feel like it has to be close to 4AM. I am really confuse why I would be here at such an hour. I hear music and my boss starts singing Wannbe by the Spice Girls. I think she sounds horrible and want to laugh at her. I keep thinking that I just need to get back to sleep if I want to take advantage of my Galantamine night. I think about the cot in the first aid room. Maybe if I ask I can take a nap in there. I picture the room in my mind but it is not right. I can't imagine why I would take G and then go to work during a WBTB. All of this is way too weird. Wait a minute. Maybe I didn't go to work after all! I do a nose plug and blow through. I let out a loud, "Whooopieeeee!". For some reason I think the task of the month is to grant a DC a wish. Was that an old one? I look around and can see the whole shop floor vividly. I spot a random DC man that I don't recognize. He looks a little like Chris but he hasn't worked here in years. I grab him by one shoulder and say, "Hey, tell me your wish." He won't talk and acts like he is purposefully trying to avoid me. At that moment I wake up.

4:32AM

I have a FA. My wife is talking to me in bed and I am a little annoyed because I was trying to WILD. I finally open my eyes and see that my head is at the foot of the bed and I am on my stomach. She is wearing an adult size blue long sleeve onesie. I give her a funny look and she explains that her mom bought it for her so she thought she should wear it at least once.

I try to in-dream WILD now and I get vibrations right away. I transition out of bed but it feels like I have two bodies. One in bed and one blindly walking around the house. I try to visualize but nothing will happen.

Suddenly I am non-lucid sitting on a couch and can hear some familiar country song. There is a random guy standing next to me and my wife in the the bed. I feel hot and notice I have jeans on. I get up to find a pair of shorts out of the dresser. I find my blue and yellow ones that I used to own a long time ago. I change in front of the guy hoping he's not looking. I'm just so uncomfortable right now. I wake up feeling hot.

I did my WBTB at 4AM but had a mild headache. I listened to a relaxation mp3 for about 30min and felt very close but the earbuds and the sound kept me too awake. I gave that up and rolled over but my headache intensified and I just wanted to fall asleep.

I had a few strange dreams after that. My wife's alarm went off at 6. She kissed me bye and left probably around 6:20AM. I got up to go to the toilet and laid back down. I thought to try WILD again but was too out of it but I at least said some mantra and just set my intent.

#197 - 6:42AM - DILD

I am in bed with my wife in some strange bedroom. It feels almost like a bed and breakfast cottage and we are on vacation. Morning sunlight is shining in as we talk just being lazy in bed. During our conversation I keep seeing a shadow of a little girl outside the window. It looks like my daughter, Dalynn. I ignore her at first but I keep hearing random sounds like someone knocking a few times with long pauses. I tell my wife that I think Dalynn wants in. She jumps up and over reacts being crazy silly. She knocks over some oddly shaped ceramic planter. Dirt and parts of the plant land in the bed and some hits my face. I say, "You knocked over the Bansai tree!" I look and there is some ugly knobby thing on the floor. "Or what's left of it." She hands me the planter with a strange sheepish grin on her face. My ring on my hand hits the planter and there is a low hollow bong sound. Ignore this. She wants ME to clean this up? I become furious and let out a low growl while shaking a fist. I just leave her to the mess and go to open the door for Dalynn.

I walk out a door on the right and turn left. There is some empty and strangle shaped entryway to the front door. I notice a dark hook and wonder why it's there. Open the door and Dalynn says something like, "Tell me about your low prices."
My only response is, "Where is your sister?" I peek my head out the door some and notice a child running toward us in a Spiderman costume. Surely that's not her. I do a double take and now it is a boy of about 5 to 6 years of age in some crappy looking Spiderman/Superman costume. The boy pauses, looks at me, and rubs his nose with the back of his hand before running off. At first I thought it was my ex's step nephew but then the face clears up and I see that it is my son. I turn around and start to say something to my wife about his costume. It's just horrible and I want to know how let him wear that.

Then I realize that he isn't currently that old. He's not even walking on his own yet. I think, This might be a dream. I almost feel embarrassed doing a nose plug in front of my wife but I figure she's used to this by now. I blow through and loudly exclaim, "I am dreaming. YAHOOOOOOOOOO!" The dream starts to collapse right away so I just stand there screaming and shouting like an idiot.


I have a FA back in the same bed as before. I hear a knocking again and I walk to answer knowing that it will be my daughter asking about prices. I just dreamed this. I open the door and before she can speak I say in a cheesy game show host voice, "Ask me about our low prices!" I pause a second. "Oh wait. I might still be dreaming." I do a nose plug and find that I am. This time there is less excitement and I look around to take in the dream. I stare up at a bare tree growing in the yard and think what to do. At this point I hear my waking life son cry out. This doesn't wake me but it becomes very distracting. I know he wont let me dream much longer. I look around some more and see a dirt road and open pasture in front of me. The sky is cloudy and overcast and the air feels cool. There are a few houses to my right. I didn't realize it then but this area is very similar to a childhood town in TX. I notice how vivid and surreal the colors are. It's all very beautiful.

I see a white truck driving in the field and I want to RW fly to it. Again, I try to think of actual goals but I can't seem to remember now. I feel content to just explore this time. I focus on the tail gate and zoom to it, but just before I reach the truck I focus to another point. I can now feel light, cool, misty rain. I realize how odd this is to feel rain when I am dreaming. I smile and enjoy the sensation. There is a mansion on the other side of the pasture. I see manicured shrubs, a fountain in the middle of a circle drive and a large statue of a man on the right. I zoom to the statue and hold on to it as the dream fades out.

I feel like I could DEILD back in but I know my son's awake and I need to get up. He lets out another cry right on cue.

I do a short WBTB, splash my face with cool water, and MILD to end up with yet another micro lucid that I barely remember.

I am in some swanky casino with Lucy Lu and some other woman I see in my peripheral vision. Lucy Lu is all over me and while I enjoy the physical sensation and flattery, I'm not that interested at the moment though (fool!) my ego is quite enlarged by all of it. She says something about being in the "Six Timer Club". I am confused so I ask about this. She explains that it is our sixth time at this casino. So what? None of this makes any sense and I become lucid.

Unfortunately I think I wake up here and while trying to recall the dream I enter a FA.

All I can remember here is that I am planing a vacation to the beach. (TOTM on my mind)