Xanous' Dream Journal

1) Wife/Ex-Wife Confusion

Something about A TV featuring Joplin MO people. Something about the tornado. Blah. I got with my ex to a used car lot. It looks closed. We stop at a gas station instead and see the man I saw on TV behind the counter. My ex buys a pack of cigarettes. I say wait your pregnant and you supposedly quit. Then I think how is this even my baby. She said it was my baby. No my actual wife is the pregnant one not her. I do the math. And obviously this can't be my baby. There is no way I am paying child support for this one. I want to confront her but now we are at Perry and Marry's. I think this doesn't make sense for my ex to come here. These people are apart of my now wife's family. I felt so confused because my past was blending with the present. I wake up suddenly.

2) A Dreamviews Member Visit
I was in a video store with my wife and daughters. They are leaving and I follow but my eye catches a game Snatchers 2 for Sega CD. I am so surprised that to see this because I loved the first one back in the day. It is for sale for $1.50 so I buy it. Then I realize I don't have Sega CD anymore and I wonder how I can play it. I think maybe there is an emulator for PC that will play the game.

I go outside to meet up with my wife and kids and I see a man come riding up on a motorized scooter. I am so surprised to see Wurlman! I greet him and say something about him coming all the way to Joplin on a scooter. He points to my wife and asks if that was her. So I give formal introductions and wake up.

1) Lego Parts 4:30am
I dreamed lego parts all around me and I had to build stuff

2) Lego Screwdriver 6:00am
I had a lego screwdriver and I had to fix lego things in a lego world

3) Lego Spaceship 8:30am
I was a lego captain on board a lego ship. We were being attacked by aliens but we were not equipped for space battle. We were all in the cargo hold waiting things out and hoping for a solution to the problem. I was having some debate with my ship mates.

4) Spider 0:00?
I remember freaking out about a spider and acting scared like in the lego games. I had woken my wife up and was pointing at the wall. I then got out of bed and was brushing my arm of with my hand before I realized what I was doing.

*My wife and I played Lego Indiana Jones 2 for a long time lastnight.
*

1) DQ
I ride my bike to Dairy Queen. I see Jon and Susie there. I sit a table with my laptop. I get on facebook and tag them with me. They smile and wave. I get on Dreamviews. I see my kids watching Ponyo behind me. Then my younger daughter is in the webpage wiggling between lines of text.

2) Car Trouble
All I got on my notes from the night on this one is "Car Trouble". I can't seem to remember the rest right now.

3) Strange House
I am wondering through a very large house. We keep finding secret star cases that lead to another floor. I am on the 4th floor of the house with some kids that live there. We are in their bedroom. I feel strange like I can feel how high up I am. Then we find another stairs. It goes to an open sun room but instead of being 5 floors above ground it is ground level. Part of the room is missing a wall. I follow the boy and we crawl and squeeze through an opening. We walk outside and talk about stuff. I see a man but pay no attention to him.

1) A Game of Skyrim Thrones

I am working as a stunt man but its like I am watching myself doing stunts and seeing how it all goes together in a movie.

Then I am sitting in a crowd and we were all watching me but it was on stage not a screen. The setting is medieval but modern. I am high born and I am sitting with other high born. We are all richly dressed and I holding a crown. It has no jewels but it is immaculate. It is solid gold and embossed with detailed design. It feels heavy.

I am engaged in deadly witty banter with my mortal enemy, Joffrey , but older and not as ugly and not king. I call him Joff.

So we are going back and forth with subtle but harsh insults and threats. He says something insulting and I say, "Yes, much like a man and his betrothed". By the statement I am cutting him with the fact that his betrothed hates him and wishes him dead. (Sansa?) Then I look him in the eye and stare him down unflinchingly. I tell him out right how I long for the day that I look down on his dead bloody body. I can see a vision in my mind of us fighting with swords to the death.

Then he is suddenly expected to do a photo shoot. He and his betrothed are told to do different dances while the photographer takes a picture. I see him glare at me from time to time but he does as told. It was expected of him. I jokingly think to myself that if I have to do this kind of thing at my engagement party I will die. I glance over at my betrothed who is quietly watching the party.

Then I feel a hand on my right shoulder. It is the signal. I know that if I look at the hand on my shoulder I will see a red leathered glove peaking out underneath richly robes. The Dark Brotherhood is calling. Yes, that's it! The Dark Brotherhood. I am one of their assassins. I could kill him but my love could find out and I couldn't have that.

I see a vision of her telling me she can't marry me. Her name never comes to mind but she is a beautiful and kind faced woman.

"Yes, I know my brother was an evil shit that needed to die. But he was my brother and I loved him. I can't love the man that killed my brother!"

No. I could never have that. But I could ask Astrid to do me a favor for her "brother". I know Astrid has a contract for me and is waiting but I need to draw up the plans for my own contract. I quickly start writing. I wake up.

1. Wal-Mart

I am working at Wal-Mart overnights. There is little for us to do overnight so I spend a lot of time just wondering around trying to look busy. There are many Halloween displays. It seems that employees on days got together in teams to make the best Halloween display. They are all turned off. I plug stuff in and black lights come on and there are various fantastic lights and colors. I am impressed. I quickly unplug everything and walk off.

I see Ernest and Christine from my real job building a grill. Then something strange happens and its like I am watching Monty Python and a bucket of water hits Christine and a large fish hits her. She goes flying out of the scene and the fish is flopping in her place. I laugh my ass off.

2. Hurt Wife - fragment

My wife broke both arms while pregnant.

3. I Just Want A Shower

I am at my sister Naomi's house. I wonder around from room to room. Looking to find a working shower. Her house is a maze and nothing makes sense. When I think I finally find a shower it is connected to a larger bed room with only a partition and no walls or doors. I strip down naked. Then I hear mumblings. I look and see my niece lying on a bed. She is clearly unhappy. I thought maybe I interrupted something. Shes old enough now. I don't say anything because I don't want to be seen naked. I pull back the shower curtain.

Holy shit! There's no tub its a sofa! WTF? I am so pissed now. I put my close back on and storm out into the living room. I say to myself I will just go to work without taking a shower. I look at the time and I am dressed an hour early. I get even more pissed. I lost sleep.

I think about where I live and how to get there. I get confused and something almost feels wrong (Almost Lucid) Then my ex-wife calls me and tells me she is out and wont be home for a long time. I wonder to myself why she thinks I give a crap what she does. Does she think we are still married? Wait are we? No I don't have feelings like that? Confused. (Almost lucid)

I go into another room to get my things. I see my dad. I am still pissed and tell him I just wanted to take a god damned shower. He gets mad at me for cussing. I get in his face and I tell him a lot more nasty curse words that don't need repeating. He threatens to hit me. I tell him that you always threaten why don't you just do it?

I don't know if this is a separate dream of if the dream just changed but I find myself on a rooftop. There is dry cement powder everywhere and there is the machine thing that is hitting the cement with a piston and making strange looking cement medallions with a "G" in the center. I keep getting in the way and almost get smashed. It seems to be following me but I dodge it and I grab on part of it and swing to the side. I see a trench of water and some pipes and then the ledge.

I jump into the water. I notice that I don't feel wet or cold and I am just numb. I begin to question things (Almost lucid) but I get distracted by whats over the ledge. I jump down. I see some old guys trying to decide what their super powers are. They go through a list trying each one but none work. I then feel that I should have a power and I think Ill go for invisibility. I close my eyes to concentrate and I wake up.

4. Your Intercom Is On!

Plant manager gripping about some contractors to another guy on the phone but somehow it is going through the intercom and everyone is hearing it. We all laugh.

1)Medical Paddling

I was having restless legs and i think thats what triggered the dream. There was a method to paddle your feet. Sort of alternate moving your toes. It was medically beneficial. I watched as some people worked out toxin build up. They had gray spots on their feet. A doctor had me try it.

2)I Eat Monsters

I see a floor vent appear on the foot of my bed. I am alone and in a different house. I mentally see the duct run under ground to a empty house across the street. Then, an evil clown doll (it looks a lot like the It clown) comes out to kill me. But I am ready. I swing at it and it goes back in.

I am afraid but I'm really pissed it is bothering me. Then I am screaming at it. "Hey! Come one you little bitch! Let's go little bitch! I'm waiiiitiinnnng! What's a matter? You fucking bitch! Little pussy run and hide? Come on! Come on! Piece of shit!"

Then it pops out and I have a pair of orange handled scissors. I try to chop its head off but it has the same pair and blocks me. We snip our scissors at each other for a bit before he ducts back down. I take the vent cover and slam it on.

Then I see a little claw like a bears pushing the vent off. It comes out and crawls onto my bed. It is detached and moving on its own. I just watch and wait. It looks really odd like its made of a nutty bar. But I know it is the clown in disguise.

So I quickly grab it and start eating it. Want to kill it so I just take bites and chew it up real fine and spit it out. I am a little scared to actually eat it. It is soft but tough like beef jerky. I find a metallic piece in my mouth. It feels like a earphone jack. I just chew it up too and spit. Chew and spit until its gone. I see chewed up evil clown bits on my white blanket. Then I see my daughter telling me something when I wake up.

3)Winner?

I win like $150 playing pool with Richard. Then it get weird the game is like some sort of machine and the pool balls are on cup things. I am taking my final shot and I win again. The machine spits out my winnings. I see Richard and he is drunk. I look at what the machine gave me and it is vouchers and checks. I look at his checks and it is just signed and has the amounts. something like $43.37 and $69.15. But there is no other information so I ask him but he is drunk and useless. I head to the bank hoping to get my money.

4)Work Sucks

There is something about the mold shop. I don't remember why I'm there. Something about Frank. He said he want to bid out. We seem to be waiting to leave. Then, I am leaving work and walking outside to my car. But everything is messed up. There are new out building and we have more parking area. I see Jeremy and Jon and I tell them something about how I miss one day and everything changes.

Then I am alone. I am walking on a gravel road. I parked way out there. So I start jogging. I hear car coming too fast behind my. I heard the pops and crunches the tires make and it is real close. I glance back and see I better move. It is a truck and it goes around me fish tales on the curve. I notice the truck is gray with a darker gray bed. There are some sort of red decals on the side. The hubcaps are odd. They are gray and solid with something like a spider decal in the center. The windows were tented. I didn't recognize the truck and I couldn't see who it was. I just gave them a dirty look and shrugged it off.

I try to remember where I parked. I am still jogging. I see really tall grass where I was trying to go and a lot of mud puddles. My car isn't there. I look on the other side. I think I see it past the tall grass. I start to run in there but I hear a strange sound like a snake. So I pause and go down a little more. I see yellow tubs were the grass is growing out. I finally see a path and take it to my car. I wake up.

5)Wal-Mart

Fragment about working at Wal-Mart. I was going something in the back employee area and cash registers.

1)I was still with my ex wife and she was being a bitch. Thats all I want to say about this one

2)I saw an ex girlfriend. She text me and wanted to come over just as friends. I said OK that would be fine. I am with my wife now and I think oh no. This might be bad. I get a text that she is here. I go outside and part of me remembers her and misses what we had but that was a long time ago. We give each other a friendly hug. Then I tell her this might not be a good time. My wife will not like this. She laughs me off and goes inside. I find my wife and her talking and getting along. I relax but think this was a stupid idea.

3)This one make little sense. I am with my wife and I make a Geocaching t-shirt but the shirt itself is the geocache. Its like we are younger and we are with her college friends. Its like this is some sort of school project. Some one donates a camcorder and we want to set it up to see people finding the geocache. I tell the dud with the camcorder that whomever gave that know they may not see it again right? He just shrugs.The my wife and a girl are with the dude trying to interview people on the street about.... I don't know... Geocaching? Some people say no and they get very pushy about it. And some people are glad to interview. The whole time me and another dude are making crafts that make no sense. Like tires with a shape in the middle full of paint. Then its like we get bored or run out of time and start packing things up. I feel disappointed that we didn't get to finish but glad to be done.

While trying to recall the riding bike to school I dream about being a famous computer programmer.

1) I am at a desk with other programmable in a room full of cubicles. I am looking for the last hidden wifi hub. It looks like a fat ta. Colored Frisbee. I give it to a guy and he makes a big deal. I remember something as if it happened in the past. Someone saying that if all were found a new technology would be released truly wireless internet at faster speeds than satellite DSL or cable. It would work like satellite but be more like a super high speed high range neighborhood wifi. I knew all this in a flash. People were also celebrating because I was suddenly revealed as a prodigy programmer who wrote amazing programs single handedly but anonymously. I am looked with awe. I see that one actor and sees me and is like ah dude ha ha. I remember the time I asked for his help and had no clue what I was doing. I just look at like it was all an act. We sit in desk chairs next to each other and I get the feeling that every one will expect to see me code. I realize I have no clue how all this happened and have no memory of coding anything. I try to visualize code but I could make no sense of it. I an really scared they will know. I wake up.

2)Jeff sprays me with a sleeping spray. Like a cologne at work. I turn around and I am getting socks out of NY dresser. Then I slump over and feel really sleepy. I cant move. I try to relax. Then I am laying straight in bed. I wake up.

recurring 1) I'm in school again (this time elementary) and I am trying to go to the library. I push past a lady blocking me. There is a sign on the door that reads exactly "No library card I have know." I am deterred and think I will get a card when I get registered for classes.

recurring 2) I am enlisted in the military against my will. This time I have me two daughters with me. There is a woman drill sergeant and we are trying to find bunk beds. The space between the beds is so small that I am cluster-phobic. My older daughter is complaining the the woman gets angry. I explain to her that these beds are just too small. The woman says she will see what she can do. I know that the kids will get to move on soon but I will be stuck here forever.

3) Fragment were I am stirring the compost in my yard and adding stuff to it.

*My wife told me this morning I was singing "The Walking Dead" in my sleep. LOL. Too bad I don't remember any zombie dreams.

1) A minister prayed for me and black goo came out of my hands and vanished. I felt cleansed and at peace. Then my bro in law, A, was suspect. We convinced him and his wife. She said ew get it out. The minister said I had to do it but I didn't believe. in myself enough. It was only partial and he saw paralyzed with fear as the black goo ran from his hands.

* religious dreams have a deeper meaning to me. This dream was about some negative emotions and stress at my job. It is up to me to have a different attitude.

2) My wife kids and I were at an annual carnival. it was huge this year with rides. I think my wife is pregnant and she can't ride. I felt bad for her. I see my ex and her mom. oh great look who it is. I wonder around looking for addmission prices. A security guard stops me and tells me I can't cut in line. I tell him I. just want to know admission prices. He says he's doesn't know. I ask him why he's such an ass? He says alright fine its $2.

* Both dreams very vivid and deatailed. I left details out because of time.

Went to a neighbors house. The husband was installing sheets of styrofoam as insulation. But he was going over board. Every wall floor and ceiling. He was in the attic cutting and laying thick. Sheet I was interested in the attic part. I was watching from the lower part. Their kids were playing and the wife was there. I felt awkward just standing there so I started a conversation with the wife. Normal chit chat. she told me about the sacks or foam rubber hanging from the ceiling as added insulation. I look up and thing it looks aweful but keep an open mind. she said it was really helpful because they eat in this room. I look to the left and see a bar and stools at a open window and a kitchen beyond that.

2) I am taking my son (who isn't born yet) Riley to his first football camp/practice. we are in wrong place. I get the car stuck in mud. son asked for help. "calipers ". I have no tires but I drive anyway.

3) I am someone else. I am with a friend and we are old rocker. we had a band. we jam together (can't remember the song) I was the Singer. we talk about going to six flags. He says he has some stuff to do first. I say it doesn't matter. He says it leaves a bad taste in his mouth. I ask him what he means. He said he was talking about King City.

Horrible recall. All I can remember is something about riding my bike. (I did a lot of riding yesterday)

*tried a glass of wine as lucid aid.

1. I forgot because I didn't write it down and thought my key word method would work.

2. I am talking to someone while looking at my phone. The icons are strange looking some just black and white and the screen continuously scrolls icon after icon.(dream sign)

3. I am in an audience at some Glenn Beck thing. I get the feeling like it is being recorded for radio. As Glenn does his introduction I heard the Rush Limbaugh intro music. I look up and to the left and see his face on a large display. I find it odd and annoying so I tune it out. There is some blond woman talking. Blah blah blah. I don't know the words. Something about shopping and commericalism. Boring. I notice that she is standing in the wrong spot and keeps walking over to the middle of the stage to look a TelePrompter. I thought she was very unprofessional.

The blond woman begins to interact with the audience. I see Luci from work. She starts bitching about how hard it is to find the item she is looking in any store in Joplin. I agree with her. I always hate it when I am looking for a specific thing and I can't find it anywhere. I always end up ordering on-line. Then she bitches some more about how hard it is to find jeans that fit. I lose interest. Women. I see Jana from work. She asks me if I am going to the big party. I say "uhhhhh". I wake up.

So I took a WILD nap today.

I find myself bouncing from too much awareness to losing consciousness. I would start to get slight vibrations and tremors. A few times I felt my head pick up and slam down. My body switched a few times. All this jolted me back to too much wakefulness. So I kinda let go and almost give up on it. That must have been enough. Because suddenly I find myself with the beginnings of SP. So I tried focusing on my head but what I ended up doing is rolling my eyes back. It worked like a magic button. Immediately got full SP. Not so much in my legs though. Mostly my head and arms. But still this was it!

The vibrations subsided and I heard a loud high pitch shrieking tearing sound as I felt the top half or my body slip out of itself. I try to get out of bed but I legs wont work. I lean over the side of the bed but my legs are glued into place and my body is on the floor. I try to move my legs but they are paralyzed. I look around but I see with one eye the mirror on the wall and with the other eye the carpet on the floor. My dream hand feel the floor. I think "I am lucid but I'm just halfway in my body!"

I jolt back awake. I don't move. I just roll my eye back and boom! SP again. Then I feel myself sit up out of my body with the same indescribable sounds. And my legs and feet are still stuck.
I wake up.

I repeat the whole thing several times not giving up and a little surprised I can keep it going.

I heard the shrieking tearing sound again. And then something else like many people running or a subway car on the tracks. So this time I visualized a subway station. I looked at my feet and just like in the Matrix and saw it all rush to me and my feet touched the subway floor.

Now to be honest. There is a lot here that I forgot. The feeling and flashes that I remember is just me running around like a lunatic being overly happy that I am finaly lucid again. I feel like a god in my personal universe. I feel so powerful. (I'll have to learn some control)

(Also this lucid dream was very non-vivid. Almost as if you were just sitting and fantasizing about whatever. That's how dull the visuals were. And probably why I forgot parts. I did at least have some very real physical sensations.)

Then of course, I get horny. I walk into the womens locker room. Shower. I hear a woman scream. But the shower is empty. I keep looking and hear little girly shrieks. I run to another room and see a bath tub shower curtain. I move the shower curtain and it sounds like little girls but they run like a vampires. Like flesh colored streaks. They are just so ethereal and ghostly. I look for them and cant find them. One went behind me and one strait through the wall in the shower. I turn around and see a sink and mirror and door in the direction the one went but the door is boarded over and shut.

Wait! What the hell? These are little girls anyway and thats gross. I'm lucid and I'm waisting it on being horny!?

I look around again. OMG MIRROR TOTM! I walk to the mirror and look closely at myself. I am whereing a plain grey hoodie. My face and hair look pretty much normal. For some reason I am making really crazy looking faces at myself but I don't feel it on my face. I look closer and I look normal but not normal. Kinda blurry.

OK enough. Go into the mirror. CAN'T. SOLID! I move back the mirror got smaller. Like the size of my laptop screen. I look and find another mirror on the wall. I place my head into. SOLID. I press really hard. I feel something give and I look around but it is just black darkness and then I am pushed back out. I try again but it solid once more. I notice that I can feel no sensation on my head so I really am dreaming. I wont why I can do in. I move back. No I am holding the mirror and there is a giant wall mirror behind a metal rack thing. I look at myself again. Trying to clear things up and really see. I look the same with a goofy expression. I press my head in again. SOLID.

I begin I wake. I feel myself in bed. I thought I felt my wife moving around and thats why I woke up. I assumed she came home from work and found me napping so she joined me. I later realized my logic was totally wrong and I was still asleep.

I went for the SP again. I rolled my eyes back in my head and concentrated on my skull. Yep get the tingles but as strong. Then I thought about what I was going to do which got me thinking about the whole experience and how I was starting to forget is all.

I wake up for real this time. Alone and it had only been 2hrs.

I am in church. The offering plate comes to me but I have no cash. Everyone around me is so rich and prosperous that they can afford to pile in fist full of cash without much though. I feel embarrassed. I think at least my wife has a good career started. We can focus on her making the money.

Then we are leaving. I notice my sister N walking out holding a piece of paper like a sign. I don't bother to look at what it says. (I wonder what it said!)

I am outside. I am looking at the sidewalk and the grass. I see it needs to be edged and some weed killer in the cracks. I have a water gun in my hands and start spraying the weeds on the cracks and on the fence line. I then realize it is not weed killer but left over insecticide. I spray anyway.

I see a group of guys. They are old school friends. I catch up with them to talk. They saw me spraying with the water gun. One tells the other to look out I will spray him. I tell them that its not water but insecticide.

I am part of the group now and we walk to a school building that I have never seen. There is an entrance but the doors are being walled off and there is a new door next to it. (Symbolism?)
I wake up as we enter.