Xanous' Dream Journal

I went to bed still sick last night about 9:30PM and slept like a corpse. Though I think I over my sickness, my mom is our babysitter and the evil sickness stuck her so I took another day off. The only recall I remember is when my son woke at 5:23AM. My wife has no choice but to go to work today so I did the honors. It actually turned out to be a pretty good WBTB for me. It took about 30min for him to take a bottle and go back to sleep. I spent a little time on the forum with my GP and then thought about my lucid goals. I went back to sleep with the MILD technique.


First the non-lucid fragments
5:23Am
I am in a some public restroom. I think I am at work. I my buddy I work with C in there. For some reason I think it's the women's restroom. M the janitor comes in and fixes some spout under the sink. I fill my water bottle. There are now urinals in there. C goes pee. I see another spout at the doorway and shoot it to an empty urinal for fun.

I am holding hands with D my daughter. We are sitting in a lush green grass spot. I feel like we are behind Ozark Christian College. I feel a little awkward holding her hand and wonder what that must look like and let go. I see a well traveled path in the grass that leads to a big boulder. I looks typical for this area. There are some nice ledges on the rock and it look like easy climbing. I point and we head that direction. D goes up first but suddenly there are thorny vines and she gets her legs tangled and falls. I catch her and pick out the thorns. I notice that some how I have a thorn in my left butt check and pull it out an look at it. I realize I am wear those white and gray polyester shorts I have.

I Have The Cleanest Floors 6:45AM MILD

I have a FA. I am lying in bed on my stomach. The room is brightly lit from the morning sun. I wonder why I am lying like this. I never sleep on my stomach. I feel fitful and uncomfortable. I notice also I am on the right side of the bed and not the left. I suspect I am dreaming now. I see some mirror to the right of the bed and decide that I want to see how I look. I move closer to look but I have no reflection.

I decide to just get up. When I do everything goes dark and the dream starts to fade. Some what reluctantly, I go to the floor and start licking the hardwood. The room brightens and the dream stabilizes. I army crawl to the bedroom door and pull it open from underneath. I suddenly skip ahead to the next room.

I try to stand up but the room goes dark and dream starts fading. I go back to licking the floor. The room brightens and the dream stabilizes. I think about making fire in my hands. I stop licking but stay on the floor. First I try making a motion like I am flicking a Bic. I expect to at least see a spark but nothing. Then I look at my right palm and focus energy there. I begin to see a tiny ball of light forming. Suddenly my hand splits into two hands with monster claws rather than fingers. That startles me some so I stop trying.

I move on army crawling and licking the hardwood. I focus on the feeling on my bare stomach. I reach the kitchen but don't even know why I went that way. I decide to go out the front door so I turn around. I try standing up but again I am forced to lick and crawl.

I decide this dream sucks so purposefully let my grasp of the dream slip. Just by my relaxing, I begin to see a new dream form. Abraham Lincoln is in my living room. There is a chalkboard and it looks like Abe is teaching a lesson to some robotic looking humanoid. I am not sure I didn't focus enough on it.

Then the dream fades to a brief FA and I wake for real.I don't remember the FA now but it only lasted on a second or two.

Commentary
Non-Lucid
Lucid

Bedtime:9:30PM-5:30AM, 6:00AM-10:00AM

Well, we are all sick at my house. I think my wife and son got it the worst. I was mostly taking care of them all evening but we somehow managed to get to bed really decent. I was glad because I felt extremely exhausted and sickly myself. I had decided no WBTB or induction. I would just focus on dream recall. I used a mantra at bedtime to remember dreams. I woke and recorded several until I started getting sick myself. Then it because more difficult because the nausea was so bad. In spite of it all I still had some weak but interesting lucids.

11:00PM
I am riding on some skateboard with a handle to make a scooter. My wife and I rid though a mall and come out the other side. We do tricks and grind on some rails. My skateboard starts looking like a dustpan with a handle as I ride down.


3:02AM
All I remember is what I recorded. Supply run. Zombies.

4:26
I am a child or about 8 or 9 again. I am riding a school bus to go on a field trip. My old friends J and A are there. Even though, I am a child I am still in my current time frame although my awareness is not there. I treasure the moments of friendship and really try hard to be a really good friend to the too of them. I never mention that I was like a time traveler. I keep that to my self.

Later we are walking back to the bus. I am holding hands with my wife. She looks like a child as well. She says how she wishes the bus was empty because she wants to do a little something with me. Then she cracks some sexual joke about my sausage and grabs me. Just then my old supervisor SH walks by. I get embarrassed and hope we don't get in trouble. They act like they didn't hear.

I am feeling really nauseous now after each awakening and fail to record much until later

At some point I visualize healing energy into my body. I am not sure if its just HI or a LD but I see myself lying in bed with shimmering points of light. I am glowing a golden color. I will my immune system to attack any sickness and heal faster. I remember nothing else.

At some point I remember a OBE. I don't know if it was a low level lucid or just a dream about having a lucid. But I transition out of my body and walk into the dining room. The wall looks like an organic inside of a body. I see 4 thick cords running down from wall to floor. I know that if I cut them it will help me feel better. Some how I know that this represent sickness in my throat and will stop vomiting. I pull out a small sword that looks like Sting and cut the cords.

I remember another one much like that last but this time... I transition from OBE and find some other point the represented my bowels. I cut that cord with Sting as well.

Maybe this helped me and maybe this didn't. However, I am not nearly as sick as my wife is. Did I use dreams and visualization to aid healing? Who can tell?

I wake around 5:30am to feed my son. Luckily all went smooth and we both got back to sleep around 6:00am and slept a long time.

Time unknown
I am working on a foam board at work. I am back in PH's department. I have my Galaxy Player (GP) in my pocket listening to Pandora on the wifi. I see several of the women that work there sitting in a line at an adjacent form board. They are doing hand gestures as a sort of dance to the song. I realize the song is a stupid Kesha song and look at my GP. I wonder how they are listen to the same thing as me. Pandora is not an actual radio station. They are all looking at me so I motion to my GP and laugh.
*memory gap*
I use the dragon shout whirlwind sprint (same as focused flying) to zoom down the hallway at work and out the door. I see the colors and hear the sounds just like in Skyrim.

9:51AM
I have an FA and P from work is in my room. We call each other bad names and I tell him to just leave. I am trying to enter some dream on my GP.

I have another FA. I am lying with my eyes closed while listening to my parents talk. Something about they sold a cell phone and now the guy that bought it says its broken. The talk about which plug in to use. From some reason I think they are in the sun room. I want to tell them that one plug stopped working but feel too sick to move. Then my dad say, "I really need to learn to use theee......"

I feel I need to pee so I get out of bed. My mom says, "You need to learn to use the alarm clock." I become startled because her voice is directly behind me. I don't feel I can talk so I just put my hand on my heart and look at her. I can't see because it was dark but I can hear her laughing.

I realize I am back in the house we lived in Luling, Texas. I am standing next to my parents bed. I walk to were my bathroom was and go in. The lighting is bright in here. I see my dad lying on his side in the bathtub staring at me. His throat looks slit and there is blood pooling. I notice he is using a pillow from my current bedset. Startled and annoyed I say, "Well I guess I'll use the other bathroom." When I reach my parents room again I pause and think about what I just saw. I say, "I am still dreaming." I do a nose plug and I think I blow through but it feels a little closed. I want to make sure so I do several more and the last one feels like a clean pass. I rush out of the house because I think of all the scary stuff that happened there. (Supposedly it was "haunted". Long story.) I go out the front door and begin to fly up. But I notice the dream is fading. I hover next to the old Birch tree in the front yard. I rub my hands vigorously and repeat, "I am still dreaming." It's helping some. I try my bicycle DEILD and touch my face some. All feels real. I rub my hands more while biking. Soon I feel like I am lying on my back and doing this in real life. I wonder if my wife is laughing at me yet. That thought was enough to shift my awareness to waking. I hear something and my eyes open.

This dream as a little earlier than the last one I posted. I took Galantamine but used MILD. Really didn't work so well but its still interesting. The lucid was so brief that I am not adding it to my count.

They Live MILD 4:10AM

I have a FA and am in bed with my wife. I hear the baby crying and she wants me to go check on him. I beg and plead with her to let me try to have a lucid dream. I tell her, "I took galantamine and I only do it once a week. Any other night and I would do it but please just let me try to dream." She reluctantly agrees.

I have another FA. I get out of bed but the house is different but familiar. I walk in the kitchen and see my wife. She looks a little like Deborah from "Everybody Loves Raymond". I don't find this odd I just know her as my wife. She is at the sink peeling carrots. The sink the old white ceramic and really deep. Some how I find out that it is after 6 in the morning and getting close to 7. I notice the sun is up and I feel really pissed that I just slept that long with out even recalling one dream. I think to thank her for letting me sleep but she looks pissed and is not even looking at me. I get a drink of water and decide to just go back to bed.

On the way I pass my dead grandmother. I look at her from behind as she walks into the kitchen. Somehow I realize that my grandfather is sitting in the living room watching TV. I really want to get back to sleep and try to have a lucid so I ignore them. As I walk down the hallway I think, "Wow. Your grandparents are back from the dead and you don't even pay them any attention. All that feeling guilty for not spending enough time with them was all for nothing."

I close the bed room door. It is an old heavy wooden door with a really strange knob and locking mechanism. All this is too much. It finally dawns on me. I say, "I am dreaming." but at that instant I wake up.

Ok this WILD was really "forced". I had started with MILD but it was failing. I just don't think it works well with Galantamine. I had several failed WILDs that began with FA's. Finally after a couple of hours of failing a waking I really had to try hard.

I tried visualizing a repetitive hand motion but it just wasn't working. I tried passively observing HI but it became weak and almost non existent. So I resorted to just focusing on my cheek bones and chest. For some reason this feels natural and works.

Gibberish WILD - TOTMs 5:43AM


This time my SubC was a little tricksy. I thought I might have felt a very brief vibration but wasn't sure. I tried forcing it and focused on the back of my neck. Nothing. I tried rolling my eyes to strengthen it. Nothing. So, I waited a bit focusing on my cheek bones. In a few seconds it felt like my head was thumping up and down on the pillow. Ah, now we are getting somewhere. I felt something like a shift. It was subtle. I tested it by moving my left shoulder back a little (I was lying on my right side). It felt sluggish and exaggerated. I open my dream eyes but I am still unsure. I do a nose plug RC and blow through. It's always a surprise when that happens.

I transition out of bed with a little difficulty but manage fine. I can see the bedroom door. It doesn't look right. Its always really dark in my room so I hurry out. I pause. We have a couple of bookcases immediately to the left full of books in waking life. This is where I placed the note for TOTM. I look for the spot but don't see it right away. The room is dark but there is somehow a nightlight behind the bookcases shining through. I notice several books are missing but that doesn't matter now. I look and find the folded sheet of computer paper. My wife had written something without me knowing what it was before hand. I wanted to add a little spin to it. I pick up the paper and examine. It looks exactly the same. I open it.

I find that I have to tilt the paper toward the light to read it. To my surprise it was just a bunch of gibberish. I really focu on it and try to make sense of it but it's just a string of letters and numbers on two lines. I thought to memorize it. I committed the first bit to memory but thought whats the point? It read something like this:

S312F65FT689SDH
FT3489FG8923VF8

That's my the password to my account! Wait no. It's not. I'm ok.

I just look at the paper incredulously. For some reason I whisper, "What the crap?.... Ah shit." I think to try and force it to make sense but really I was satisfied enough to have done the TOTM. I toss the paper aside and move on. I walk into the living room but everything is going dark now. I start rubbing my hands and thinking of a new location. I rub my hands for quite a while just walking around in the void trying to make something appear. I can't decide where to go. I lose focus and wake up.

I stay still and DEILD. I feel like I have to force it the way I did the WILD. Really it's just that I have no vibrations and I have become dependent as making it my signpost for "GO" time. I stay patient and calm. This time I feel a definite but subtle shift. It almost feels like a brief dizziness. I take a risk and do a nose plug RC. I blow through and transition out of bed.

I walk back into the living room but feel the dream ending and going dark again. This time I resort to making out with the hardwood floor and rug. I mean really making out. (You gotta do what you gotta do) The feeling of the floor on my tongue is exactly what I would expect. While I feel the rug in my left hand, I even put a leg up and slide up and down on the floor. It was not sexual per-say just really about getting as much tactile sensation as possible.

Anyway, after I feel stable I notice the room is brightly lit and vivid. I look up and see our old boxy awkward looking TV where our newer flat screen should be. I smile and think this would be something to break. I sit up and punch the screen but it's solid and hurts my hand a little. I try again with the same effect. This time I think to aim beyond the screen and really follow through. My hand just phases into it. I give up and look around for something else to break. I see an empty beer bottle on top of the TV. Perfect! Thanks SubC! I step back and throw the bottle hard into the TV screen. The bottle shatters into a million pieces and makes a really nice and clean glass-breaking sound. Satisfied I walk out the front door.

But I pause. I think, "I wonder what this dream is about. I wonder if I am in my house for a reason." Standing halfway out the door, I turn and look at the room. I was surprised to see that the room was completely furnished and surprisingly close to real life. Usually my LDs have very little furniture. The only odd thing that I see is an extra doorway where there should be window. It is completely dark in there and I think I better not go that way. Besides I have another mission in mind. (I kind have wished that I checked it out, now that I think about it)

I slowly step outside. The front porch and yard is vivid and realistic. I feel self conscious because I feel like I am in just my underwear. I touch and feel myself and see that I am right. I tell myself it doesn't matter in a dream. I want to find the TARDIS and see where it takes me. I look around as I walk down my sidewalk. Something catches my eye to the right. I see a ground level sign about 8 ft. wide and 4 ft. tall mounted on a brick foundation. The sign is light up from inside. It is white with blue lettering. I think its some church sign. I walk up to it and look closer. It reads:

FAMILY
FA MILY

I find the sign to be annoying so push my shoulder into until it tips over and crashes on its back. I hear an electronic short circuit and the light goes out. Ha! I broke two things.

I look around and see a cop car across the street at some gas station. I worry that the cop saw me and will come arrest me for vandalism. I run back to my yard and feel somewhat safe. I think to run to the back yard and hide but I figure I'm better off not looking too guilty. Then I just forget about the cop and remind myself that this is a dream.

I look up at the sky and see two moons. One is a normal full moon and the other is a reddish orange full moon. Both are a little blurred. I note this as strange but normal for my dreams.



OK focus. I want to find the TARDIS. I look around expecting to find it. I imagine the unique sound it makes when it's teleporting. I stand there looking and waiting. The dream is fading. I realize that I was idle for too long. The dream always fades when I do that. I remember the success of making out with the sidewalk I had last week so I run and jump and do a belly flop on the sidewalk in the exact same spot. I start licking the concrete and feeling the grass. But I eventually wake up.

Pre-Bed MD 2020

Woke to WBTB at 3:30 but I had a headache and just wanted to sleep. I thought I could at least set my intentions and do MILD but never got that far. I ended up with a random DILD anyway. I think I was barely lucid in this one as my mind wasn't very critical of the dream.

Catfish? 4:40AM - DILD
I am walking around in some familiar woods. (I think this is one of those locations that exist in only in dreams but I visit often) I am enjoying the peaceful quite and time to myself. I start thinking about some youth minister that was here before doing some cool tricks and claiming it was the power of God. I start doing the same tricks on my own power. I start hovering and walking up trees. Every one in a while a strong wind would lift me up like a kite. Something was very familiar about all of this but I don't get it yet. Then, while walking up a tree I think that he must have had a line attached to him. Then I wonder how I am doing it with out a line and I slowly become lucid. I fly up and over a small river. Flying is difficult so I make swimming motions and that seems to work. I stay low to the ground to have some visual reference.

*memory gap*

Somehow I end up in some sort of enclosed dock. I am walking along and an old fisherman falls in the water but as soon as he does he turns into a very small skeleton of some sort of turtle like creature. I keep walking. There is a container of icyhot on the dock next to a boat. The boat is full of water and has little turtles in it swimming around. I kick the icyhot and a glob hits a turtle. There is a fizzing sound and the turtle turns all white and floats up on its back. I find this interesting so I do the same to the other turtles. I feel bad that I killed them all so knowing its a dream I use expectation to make them live again. They all flip over and swim away.

I get in the boat. The water is gone now. I hear a kitten meowing desperately. I look next to me and see a fishing pole and a net. There is something in the net. I look closer and expect to see a fish but the meowing get louder. There is a kitten with a hook in it mouth. The line is connected to the pole. I start to pick the kitten up and take the hook out but I know it will freak out and scratch me. Even dream pain cad be bad. I pause and look at the kitten. I say, "I know this is a dream. And since this is a dream you will not scratch me. You will be still and let me take the hook out." I pick the kitten up and find the hook in its mouth. I feel so bad for the kitten and wonder how this even happened. I thought maybe the fisher man was using shrimp or something similar. This poor kitten was just hungry and got a hooked in the mouth. Luckily the hook wasn't very deep. I say, "OK. Now the hook will just easily come out without hurting this kitten." The hook falls out into my hand. I let the kitten go and look at the hook.

Somehow I am outside of the dock building thing. I see CM from work. She is working outside with her husband who is splitting logs. CM says something. I float up and get ready to fly away. I ask her why she killed the fisherman. I don't remember her reply but I know it as an admission of guilt. We continue conversation that I can't remember. I basically said that I will have to tell the police. I know that will mean testifying in court and explaining why I was here. I'll have to try and explain lucid dreaming and everything. I am not looking forward to that.(I must have been losing lucidity some)

I try to fly off but I feel stuck in the air. I kick off the building but barely move. I make swimming motions but it doesn't work this time. Then my lucidity come back stronger. I remember point to point flying. I focus on a tree far way for a few seconds and then ZOOM. I fly at an incredible speed. Before I reach the first tree I focus on another. My speed increases. And I focus on the next tree before I reach that. I continue switching focus to keep myself flying. I laugh and feel giddy. The speed is incredible but I quickly lose visual reference. All the tree become a blur. I try to focus on just one tree to stop. I am losing it. The dream is fading. I try to visualize a tree but it is too late.


I find myself sitting at a dinning room table. J, my brother in law in to my left. He is being loud and looking at a TV. It sounds like some football game. I look to my left and see my wife next to me. I wonder how the hell I was just flying in a lucid dream while sitting at this table. I feel like I was hearing him the whole time in my dream. I think about it all of this and start to regain lucidity. Then, my wife loudly whispers in my ear. "I like it when they are drunk." For some reason this jolts me awake.

This dream is kind of mixed up. This first one was fairly long but my memory of it is misplaced. I hope to remember it later.

I am at some family gathering. I talk to my dad about Christians being judgmental and am surprised that he agrees with me. I think this is were I got lucid. I remember not doing much just messing around with the dream. Was I trying to make fire in my hand? I remember being on fire.

*memory gap*

I am out in my car looking for something. As I am walking back inside some house my nephew S jumps out in front of me and wants me to play a game with him. I tell him maybe later.

*memory gap*

At some point I lay down to sleep. I am at a table with my sis and bro and their spouses. We are playing some sort of D&D game. We all have large white chips in front of us that signify something unknown. The game master is my younger sister and she is giving my brother a scenario. Responds with "I do declare that ...." I stop listening because I am sitting there somewhat introspective and realize I am dreaming. Next is my sister-in-law B's turn. But I skip her and stand up. I say, "I do declare that I am dreaming!" I jump up on the table and do pelvic thrusts. I shout "Oh yea bitches! Who's the winner now? I am, because I am dreaming and you're all not real." I briefly wonder if I am making a fool of myself but then I notice their reactions. They have none. They have become lifeless and motionless. The scene fades.

I have a FA. Apparently I was sleeping next to my nephew M who was next to my brother and then his wife on the other end. My brother gets up. I am thinking about the lucid I just had. I remember there was another one before that one and I try to focus on that too. But then my Sis-in-law B says that she is pregnant. My mom comes in from the other room and says, "WHAT!?" B simply says again, "I am pregnant."

I have many thoughts about this but mostly, "They are too old for that." My brother looks stressed and is just standing in the hallway looking at pictures on the wall. I realize the awkwardness or lying in a bed next to my pregnant sis-in-law. Then a ceiling fan above us falls apart and pieces hit the bed. We both get up. I walk behind B and she is waddling with a large stomach. She turns into a bathroom and I pause. I really need my Galaxy Player to enter my dream. I go back to the bed and look. I see M there still a sleep. I wake up.

WBTB Mugwort
MILD

I got to sleep in the recliner and dream about my cats running around and jumping. Sputnik keeps jumping on top of the ledge about the front door, hanging there for a bit and then jumping down to the floor with a thud. I watch for a bit from the recliner and then I remember.

I instantly get vibrations and see a bright white light then dark. The vibrations are week and intermittent. I wait unsure if I am in the dream or not. Then I remember I was already dreaming before. I get up and go outside. I sort of half open the door and half phase through. The door was forgotten.

If feel a brief cold and then a smell like rain. I find that odd for a dream. I can see fine and the world seems solid but I feel like I need to stabilize. I think about liking the sidewalk again. This time I but my hands in some dirt and feel it. It looks more like potting soil. This is were things get ultra real.

I hear some rock music with heavy drums. I look around and the neighborhood looks convincingly real. I seriously wonder if I was sleep walking/dreaming like I used to do as a child. I become really worried and self-conscious. I look across the street toward the direction of the music. It seems like it is the house directly across from me. I try to see who is over there but my vision gets blurry. Then the dream sort of folds in on itself and my awareness shifts to my physical body. I think about DEILD but it doesn't come right away so I think I better enter into my DJ.

I took 100mg caffeine. There was little to no insomnia. At some point I got vibrations but was unsure if it was the real deal because it was intermittent and weak. I thought I was able to move my arms so I waited for the dream to form. Usually movement is false during vibrations and I should have caught that. I think I remember getting out of bed at some point but I am not sure. I dont remember anything after that so I assume I fell non lucid.

Earlier in the night during my WBTB alarm I was recalling my dream but fell alseep during. I became aware when I realized that I was entering in my DJ during a FA. Unfortunately when I became lucid the dream faded to weak HI. I probably could have DEILD but I then remembered that I was trying to WBTB and I looked at the clock. 20min had passed.

WBTB @ 3:30AM 30min looking at Angel Falls picture.
MILD - Imagained a OBE like dream since I was well aware of myself in bed
Son yelled out and disturbed me briefly but he went back to sleep.
I rolled from back to right side and switched to WILD
WILD - Visualized a simple repetitive hand motion. This time it was arm flapping.

Angel Falls TOTY 4:56AM

I can't remember the first part of this but I don't think I missed much. Or maybe this is simply how the dream started.I am standing in my front yard just off the poarch. The dream feels dark and unstable. I have a hard time seeing. I get the weird eye opening thing again and I think I see the bedroom. I calmly close them and focus on seeing on the back of my eyelids. This seems to help. I can see the yard but it is really dark and unstable still. I hear a noise and I begin to listen. It is the fan in my room. This is no good. I remember a funny post of DarkMatters where he is basically telling someone to make out with the dream to stabilize. I laugh a little and throw myself face first on the ground.

I start licking the sidewalk that leads from the street. I can feel the rough texture on my tongue. I am a little grossed out at how real it feels but I take this as a good thing. I go for more and I reach both hands out to feel the grass on both sides of the concrete. I grope and rub and feel and really make love to the dream. All of this helps a lot and I didn't even have to buy diner first.

I get on my hands and knees and crawl around some. I see a small tree that is about 4 to 5 inches thick. For some reason I think "beaver" and I bite into the tree. It is soft but crisp like a peach. I note the taste but it is bland. I break the tree off and carry a chunk with me while I walk around the neighborhood. I continue to bite and chew as I do so. The sensation really helps stabilize the dream. I notice how I never seem to have to swallow. The tree just melts away in my mouth to nothing.

I walk north a ways but feel bored. I think trying to travel at this point would really risk destabilizing the dream. Angle Falls will have to wait. I head back toward my house. I think maybe I will break into my neighbors house and see what I find. I begin to look for it but all the houses start morphing and changing into larger newer homes until I am not in my neighborhood anymore. I stop and stop a house that looks interesting to burglarize. I stare at the rooftop and I am about to make a leap but the dream gets wavy so I wait for it. Then, for some reason, I feel compelled to turn around. It was like could sense someone was starting at me.

I see an old 70's model Ford truck parked in the street and a familiar looking young man in the driver seat. He is just looking at me expectantly. When I approach the vehicle he wordless moves over to the passenger side. I am surprised, "Oh you're going to let me drive?" I hop in.

like this but tan color


I tightly grip the steering wheel with both hands and floor it. I hear the tires break loose. I smile with excitement. The man next to me protests and says something about slowing down but I ignore him. I punch the gas harder. We make several turns and end up on a highway. I begin talking to him. I say, "You know what man? This is a dream. Do you know that? You're not even real to me right now."

He looks really nervous and mutters, "Yeah, I guess so."

I look him over again and realize that he looks just like LinkZelda. "Hey you're LinkZelda aren't you?" (I think, say yes)

He's holding on to the o'shit handle. "Um I don't know."

I am insistent that he remembers, "Yeah man. You get on dream views. We've talked a few times. Hey you know what? What if we are having a shared dream and you just aren't lucid yet? How cool would that be? Here's what I want you to do. When you wake up try to remember as much as you can about this ok? I mean you never know, right?" I start laughing like a lunatic and slap him on the knee. He seems totally put off. I just can't help myself I feel so energetic and happy.

I look away at the road. I continue to stabilize visually. I don't look at him this time when I talk. I feel like I can't contain myself. I yell, "HOLY SHIT! I EFFING LOVE THIS. WE ARE TOTALLY DREAMING RIGHT NOW! WHOOOOOHOOOOOO! I am a little afraid that my loud yelling will somehow wake me up so I stop myself.

I look back at him to see his reaction. The passenger side is totally empty. "Dammit he's gone!" I laugh and shrug it off. I begin to think about getting to Angel Falls now. I look around and it has turned bright outside. I am on some road and I see that I am at the base of what looks like Angel Falls. I look up to see the top but there is a thick mist hiding it from view. I feel like its time to get risky now. I know from past experience that I will have a hard time getting through that fog. I really don't want to end up someplace else; or worse, waking up. "Ah screw it." I phase out of the cab of the truck and fly up.

When I reach the fog I stop. It looks like a thick and opaque object. I push my head in but I am engulfed in white with nothing to visually ground myself to. I fear the dream will dissolve so I back out. Instead I throw myself to the rock face and begin to climb up. I focus visually and tactilely on the rocks. The climb is easy. I imagine comfortable hand holds as I go along and the dream obliges. After a while I decide I am nearly there. Just then, I see the top. I climb over the edge but when I stand up. It is dark again.

I look around and I see a small flat screen TV floating just above eye level and a soda machine to the right of it. I hear some random woman giving a newscast but pay no attention to the words. Its just muffled muttering. The soda machine is an Orange Sunkist machine. It is brightly lit in the darkness. I have a feeling of being in a building. I felt like I had gone to "The Bridge" (A place in my town with fake rock climbing). No this wont do. I push the enclosed feeling away from my mind.



I realize I am on a small platform. I lay down and peek over the side. All I can see is darkness at first but I focus and everything clears up. It still looks like night time but I can see that I am indeed on top of Angel Falls. I see the small white line of the river far below reflecting moonlight and water is gushing out the side of the cliff.



I push forward and fall head first. I flip around so that I am on my back. I feel weightless and light. I look around and see the water falling with me to my right. It looks like it is frozen in time but I assume we are just falling at the same rate. I reach out to feel it but I only get a mild sensation on my hand. The I hear the sound of diving into water and as I suddenly slash into it. I look around. There is light but all I see is just slightly brown river water with nothing around me. I reflexively close my eyes.

When I open then I am laying on my stomach. I can see river rocks and realize I am lying in a shallow side stream. I feel completely wet. I stand up and walk forward. I am now in some small building. Again I see the TV and the Sunkist machine to the right of it. This time there is wall behind them. I hear the same woman say, "...Here in Venezuela..." I listen closer now. "T is for Turkey." I laugh and move on.

I look around and notice the building is mostly huge glass windows, like some sort of zoo or nature center. I can see lush jungle outside. There is water from the water fall creating rain outside. I can even hear it hitting the roof of the building. I see an enclosed glass area with what looks like some sort of tiger/panther hybrid cubs. I open the glass door and reach in to pet one. They all look content and sleepy. Suddenly one of then grows large and snaps at my hand. It lets out a feline growl. I laugh and say, "Ok. I'll leave."

I feel pretty content that I completed a TOTY and am not sure what to do now. I begin to think how long this dream has lasted and how much happened. I begin to worry that I will forget. I think I should make myself wake up soon but I really don't want it to end. I wait a little longer.

I step outside and see that I am in some sort of gravel parking area. There are a few cars but no people. I can see a thick wall of jungle surrounding the area. I feel triumphant and powerful and I get the sudden urge to become a werewolf. I stretch my skin and feel myself change. I can see my shadow on the ground in front of me and watch as I transform. I look at my hands and notice that I have hairy werewolf claws and fur. I let out a howl. It sounds a little weak and unconvincing. I try again. This time it is a long and clear WOOOOOOOOOOOOO! A part of me thinks I am making a noise in my sleep. Then I remember. I really should wake up. And this seems like a good way go out of the dream.

With some great effort I manage to open my physical eyes and fully wake from the dream.

WBTB 3:30AM
Strong Mugwort Tea
4:00AM

MILD

I am working for my old boss. We wants us to stay late. F is telling me about it. I tell F, "Well eff him. I am not staying any later." I turn around and see my boss. Busted. He looks at me and says something about how he just wanted every one to go to the amusement park and pick up a form so that the company can let us have the day off at the park tomorrow. "Whatever, I don't care about that. I don't even want to go. It's 3:30 and I am going home."

I still feel a little pissed and find F. I ask him if he is going to the park. He says yes. I decide maybe I will go. I don't understand why I have to get a form but a free day off work sounds really good.

I arrive at some place in the country. There is a black leather fainting couch with wagon wheels on it. I lye down and it takes me on a dirt path on it own volition. I slow travel through a peaceful country setting and I feel contented to take it all in.

Soon I arrive at a booth. I ask the lady for a form and she promptly hands me one. I ask her how I leave and she points to another wheeled fainting couch. I lay down and it takes me back. It travels very quickly this time and I feel myself surge forward.

I phone rings. I look and the words are distorted but I see my wife's picture. I can't remember what we talk about. But I realize that during the conversation I was transported to where she is. I feel like I am in a lying potion but I seem to be standing. She is on a small a bed with our son and a gray cat. I recognize it as the stray we temporarily took in last year. I point and yell, "WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH THAT CAT?!"

She calmly replies, "We found him and you said we can keep him."

Finally I realize this is a dream. I feel half awake now. I feel myself in my bed but still totally immersed in the dream. I ask my wife, "This is a dream isn't it?"

"Of course it is, babe."

I feel like I am waking up so I relax for DEILD. I get vibrations and I hastily get out of bed. I am standing in my room blind. I am trying to take it slow and be patient but I am frustrated. I remember something I read about surging forward in the void until a dream forms. I do just that.

I feel myself phase through the bedroom door and an exterior wall. I wasn't even considering that. I feel the G forces and the speed of my body as I go into warp speed. I can see a bright light from behind closed eye lids. I try to see a scene form but I feel myself destabilize.I get brief vibrations and then I wake up. Maybe that was the wrong time for this. I try to DEILD but the urge to enter this in my DJ was too great.

I am wondering around a subterranean cavern full of dwarfish folk. I have some sort of ring on my left hand. I looks like a glowing amber stone with silver twig designs woven over it. I am looking for something and the ring glows bright when I get close. I examine the ring closely and it seems that the more I look at it the more the amber cracks and falls away. I take the ring to Elrond who is nearby and he refashions it into a mounted stone on a silver band. I question him and comment how ugly it now looks. He tells me that this is the more modern fashion. I accept that as satisfactory though I really liked the look of the other one. (I'll have to draw it up soon)

Before too long I notice I have wondered outside and it had grown dark. Wargs come out of the darkness and attack me. I switch to a third person view like I am playing a video game. I am pushing the green A button on the XBOX controller but I also feel as is I am the character in the game. I see a hobbit version of myself jumping and scrabbling and running to avoid the wargs. It is no use I become over ran and everything goes black.

I wake near a camp fire with a minor injury to my chest and shoulder. Apparently Legolas and Gimli rescued me after I passed out. Legolas tells me there is food. I see a string of several large trout like fish on some rocks. I begin to prepare the fish near the camp fire but the fire keeps going out and relighting itself. Every time it goes large evil looking hairless bears come out of the darkness to eat me. But just as I am about to get it the fire relights and the bears vanish. Unfortunately I end up knocking over a pot of water on the fire and it goes out for good.

Just when I think I am done. I see a bright flash of light. It is Gandolf and his staff. He came just at the right time. I try to make my way too him but all I see is a bright light like a huge spot light pointed straight at me. It is blinding. Then, I see a second. I pause at the strangeness of this. It looks like twin suns and I am reminded of something. I think it's dream sign but it doesn't register what that means. I am too frightened to care and only want to get to safety. This time the light engulfs me.

I look away from the light and find myself at work. My boss has been kidnapped. I and several co-workers go look around for clues. I see a strange metal hand print device on her desk. I push on it and the wall spins around to reveal a hidden room. All we can find is booze and food and candy. I say, "Considering what has happened; I think we can over look this." I wanted to keep it quiet but I excitedly tell E all about it.

Then I hear a loud computer voice say my real life email address and "recover fail". I think someone is hacking into my computer so I rush over to an area with desks and computers.

I see JG and DL playing a prank on someone's computer. I think it is mine but I just watch and see what they are doing. They have a bag of commonly used keyboard keys that they popped off the keyboard. They tape the bag to the back of the monitor. They look at each other and laugh. I think they are idiots. Then the take fists full of hair and tape it the desk. I try to think of a way to get into their office and get them back. I know it will be tough and I feel clueless.

But no. I realize it is "Fat Amy's" (From Pitch Perfect) desk. She is sitting right there letting them do it. Then, for some reason, I tell her, "I think JG wants to give you a blow job." She tells me, "He can't. I'm too tough."

I wake up.

I recalled 2 other dreams and 2 fragment as well but this was be best one. I freaking love LOTR!

WBTB 4:00-4:20A

1MG Melatonin @ 4:00
50MG Caffeine, 200MB B6 @4:20

I tried staying up longer but was really tired

Slept from 4:20-5:08 recalled no dreams. I remember a fragment about everyone getting lay off at work. It was very realistic as far as the dream scene went. And highly possible IRL.

Went back to sleep easily until 6:00

Monkeying Around DILD interrupted - Caffeine

I am on some play ground. I see some huge swings but walk past to monkey bars. I feel like this is be super easy (lucidity starting). I grip the bars and notice how numb I feel. I go back and forth on them and smile at how effortless it is. Some dude walks up and says something about walking it upside down. I don't know what he is talking about so I just start doing so chin-ups. They are super easy and effortless. I get it now. I see the young man watching me. I say to him, "This is only this easy because this is a dream."

My son starts crying and wakes us up. My wife takes care of it because she is super awesome.

I go back to sleep. I am not 100% sure but I think I hit a semi successful DEILD. I remember some OBE like sensations but I quickly lost it to FA. I think because I really wasn't trying.

I do a nose plug. Did is pass or fail? I can't remember. I enter my dreams on my DJ. Post on DV. Then realize it is time to leave the house and I am late. I go brush me teeth. My wife crowds me and I get pissed at her and tell her, "I love you but I really need some space right now." She wonders off.

I begin to look at myself in the mirror and notice how odd I look. I think that I look almost childish and like someone else. I get and odd feeling and wonder if I am dreaming. I focus on the mirror and now I look normal. I continue to repeat this several times. Then the tooth brush start feeling like it it fusing to my teeth and I forget all bout the mirror. I soon wake up just before the alarm.

Prebed:

4 Bud Light Platinums
3G Fish Oil

Bedtime:

11:00ish


12:11Am - Flying Radio Station

I am flying in the clouds. There is a radio station seated on a higher cloud. I refresh my Galaxy Player and see that I now have wifi connection. I see a list of a lot of cartoon videos to watch.

4AM I move to the recliner but I as too tired from drinking to do SSILD or any other tech. Recall is tough too.

5:23AM - Walmart Storage

My wife and I bought a bunch of stuff online from Walmart. We decided that we should just go to the warehouse to pick it up ourselves. We back up a moving truck and start loading random boxes. There is a rocking chair we want but it looks unfinished. My wife says it needs varnish. She messes around with some commercial paint sprayer until she figures it out. I spray the chair. For some reason I spray down a baltic amber necklace. I have it all over my hands and I hand the necklace wet.

I move back to bed but my son soon wakes up. I feed him in the recliner and when he done we both dose off together.

7:00AM #132- Voxer Distortions - Brief DILD

I am looking at houses with my mom. We come back to my house in the back yard. I enter the back door for some reason. Maybe I was looking for my phone? I hear my voxer app going off. It's clearly a voxer notification but it sounds strange and distorted and comes from many different directions. I finally find my phone but see no voxer notification as I walk back out the back door.

I think this is really odd and it reminds me of my daytime awareness practices. I say out loud, "I am dreaming!" Not knowing what else to do I rush out the back door but I hit the void.

I now feel myself laying in bed. I quickly transition and get up out of of the dark bed room. As I enter the living room everything gets bright and vivid. I feel very pleased about this. I notice two small panels on the floor that look like tables turned on and just glowing a blueish white color. I go to examine them more closely.

I either open my physical eyes, or I realize I have had my eyes open already. Either way I discover that the two glowing tablets are actually two of the windows in my living room. I feel breifly confused because in the dream I thought I was in bed and totally forgot that I was in the recliner. (There is something to be said about "OBE's" now isn't there.) I try to DEILD but I am not feeling it. I give up too quickly and enter straight into a non-lucid dream.

I am at a version of work sitting at a workstation. Someone is next to me working on something. He is annoying me and taking up my space but I tolerate it. I see someone put a bunch of Walmart sacks on my desk. I am like what the hell is this? Then M.R. comes behind me and tells me J.D. gives them walmart sacks to use and he just puts them there because that workstation is usually empty. She takes the sacks and leaves. I notice that I have no monitor for my computer. I ponder over this for a while. I pretty much summon two monitors out from behind the desk. I set them up and feel disappointed at how small they are. I wake up.

Woke up at 4AM to WBTB Moved to recliner SSILD - No Aids

#131 - The Neighbor's House -DEILD 5:01AM

I wake up from a NLD. Have a really hard remembering the dream. A part of me thinks that I woke up here in a lucid FA. I am not sure. I move a little and get comfortable. The I decide to just forget the dream and DEILD. I get the vibrations almost immediately. It comes slow at first and then gains intensity. I have to admit and I am really excited at this point and I know this stage can make or break the LD. Instead of trying to visualize a place or scene, I go for a OBE style LD and hurriedly get out of the recliner and rush outside. I felt a little sluggish at first but the transition was pretty smooth.

I go into the yard and for some reason look in the sky. I think its real life habit coming out. The sky is dimly lit and cloudy. The clouds look like gray and black marble. I find it really pretty and admire it for a while. The only problem is that I seem to look moving my head wildly back and forth and not able to hold still.

I look at the ground to stabilize. I realize I didn't think of a goal before hand. (I was so unprepared for this LD) I had to really rack my brain to think of a TOTM. I remember flower and start searching the grass. I pluck a piece of grass and start to will it to be a flower. Then I remember that one is already done. I think really hard. I remember the clock but I am outside and don't feel like looking for a clock. Erase major element! I realize that I had wondered over towards the neighbor's yard so I started looking around for something to erase. I wasn't about to mess with my own stuff! I see his red car. Not enough. I see the houses across the street. Too much. I look back at the neighbors house. Ha! Ill erase his house! Then, I notice the dream world getting darker except for the house. The color seems way to bright and vivid like bad Technicolor. A car passes behind me and for a brief moment everything is lit up and normal. I don't want to fall to darkness so I ask the dream for light. I look and and yell "Lights! I need lights here please." I notice how strange my voice sounds hollow and echoes. Nothing happens so I try again. I clap at the sky and yell "LIGHTS!" The sensation on my hand is strange. Still nothing so I give up.I focus on my neighbors house once again. I put a hand up over my line of sight so that it looks like I have my hand above it. The idea was to just wipe the house away like and eraser on a chalkboard. At that moment the world goes completely dark. I think I am waking up. I forget all of my void/DEILD tricks and give up on the dream. After a few seconds I am fooled by a FA

I wake up and notice thats its late morning and the light from the windows is bright. I notice how my dream clock is usually close to waking time. I guess I was off this time. (Doh! I missed that one!) I see a pile of cat vomit on the floor and it looks like cornbread stuffing. I see Stella, my cat, is next to it. I am so pissed that I slap her head. She is not phased by it. I backhand her in the head really hard but she just looks at me. I find this really odd but don't think it through (missed another one ) I see some familiar DC in the kitchen cleaning. I start bitching about the cats and go help clean. I wake up.

Pre-Bed
3grams Fish Oil
5 MG Melatonin
1 cup Ginkgo Biloba Tea

Bed time 10:15PM
Alarm at 12:00AM
Move to recliner and do a few quick SSILD cycles before I past out.

#130 Regrets and Holidays - DILD - 1:44AM

I am working for my old boss P. She is next to me and I am printing out photos for her on the ID station printer. I keep asking, "Does this look OK?"

Then I am printing old photos of my mom and me when I was around two years old. Then I am with my dead grandma (nanny). I am looking at a live sized computer screen of a old Christmas tree. The background is solid blue and it looks like a bad photo shop job. I can see discoloration on the edges like it had been cut-and-pasted on the blue background.

Nanny is standing to my right wants a copy of that photo but I think it's too late. She tells me to just use the Christmas tree and do a new one. I see my toddler self and my mom posing in front of the tree. We look like a photo but we look we are really there. I say something to Nanny about it. Then I realize she is dead and become lucid. I start to become emotional but luckily the first thing I think of is the flower TOTM. I quickly reach behind my back and summon a rose. I don't feel it in my hand but pretend its there. When I bring it in front of me it looks like a normal red rose. Nanny wordlessly takes it. Then the emotion takes over me. I begin to cry and hug her. I feel mild pressure of her against me. I say to her. "I love you so much. I really miss you. I wished you weren't dead." I go on to say some other things but I forget now.

I guess because of the emotion I lose lucidity as my awareness gradually becomes a dim thought in my mind. I am suddenly in front of my Grandpa (Pawpaw) and I continue crying and talking. "I am really sorry that I did not call or visit you two before you died." He looks at me disinterested and shrugs a bit. I looks like he mouths something, "Ya." I think how I was a least hoping he was going to tell it was OK, not to worry, but he didn't seem to care. I feel really terrible.

Now, I am sitting at a Thanksgiving feast with my parents and my wife. I act as if nothing happened and feel completely happy. I assume my grandparents are going to join us but I don't see them anywhere. Instead of a Turkey there is a Turkey Pie. Actually, I see 2 pie and both are half eaten. I think there is not enough turkey for everyone. I hear my mom say, "I don't know but I better be getting my pie of turkey." Then I remember that my dad and I ate some earlier and I decide to pass on the Turkey Pie this round so there is enough for everyone.

I go back to sleep.

3:00AM no recall.

100MG Caffeine
2x Valerian Root

I am awakened by a noise at 3:30AM. I feel like I was just on the cusp of a lucid dream but I can't recall what it was. Couldn't go back to sleep after that.