Xanous' Dream Journal

Bedtime 10:30p – 8:30a

1) 1:45a Playing some sudoku like board game with Jess and Megan at our house. I walk into the living room and there are red Christmas lights everywhere. I continue the game on my phone like it was words with friends or something. I also think to play my old supervisor.

I move to recliner and begin attempting WILD. After each NLD I quickly record what I remember on my phone app and resume WILD.

2) 3:29a find myself in SP. I try something a little different to enter the dream. I force myself in a rush to get up out of the recliner. I feel my dream body stumble and fall and then I re-enter SP. This time I relax too much. I have a false awakening.

I have the laptop on my chest and the recliner feels like it is reclining way too far back. I am still trying to WILD. I ear the alarm clock distantly in the bedroom. I wonder how it is 6:00 already. I expect my wife to come looking for me and sure enough I hear her walk in the living room. I just lie still because I really don't want to ruin my WILD. I figure she will just see me asleep and leave. But the computer is on my chest and on. I think she will see a post by RareCola and read it.

Then, I hear her say. “You're going to kill yourself with that.”
I give up my charade. “What?” I look at her as she is going back to the bedroom.
“I said your going to kill yourself.”

I get up because originally I had planned to get up with her at 6 and stay up for 30min and then WILD.
I notice the recliner is turned wrong but when I go to move it there is another recliner in its place but it is a darker brown. The other recline shrinks and slides next the the strange one. I then walk into a strange kitchen. I wake up.

Another SP episode from DEILD. This time I know that I just need to visualize a dream scene and I will enter. For some reason I get too excite and SP fades.

3)4:38a I plant some sort of seed in the crack in the back deck. They are round and small but I don't know what it is. I water is. The water hose floods the area. Then I have another FA. I look next to me and see Janna sitting on the couch. She has marijuana seeds. She tells me she gave a seed to some kids and is worried they will get in trouble. I tell her they probably won't plant it. I go to use my phone app to record the planting dream and I realize “This isn't real”

I wake up briefly

4)I am now watching Johnny Bravo through my window on a TV in my neighbors yard. Then I FA and I am back in my recliner. I feel like I am holding a remote. But wake for real and see I am not.

5)4:42a I am in the recliner. I see Travis and tell him about the fake picture I sent him. He say, “Dude I don't know how those pictures of me get posted.” I explain to him that it was just a look alike with a tramp stamp. He changes the subject.

6)5:28a *LUCID*

For whatever reason I am driving with my wife and another guy was with us sitting in the back but he never says anything. We go down towards my job. It is late in the morning and I decide to just take vacation. I pull into the parking lot. And I tell my wife maybe I should just call it in instead of going in to ask for vacation. Then I notice the time on the car's clock. It is 8:38AM and I realize I can't ask for vacation after 8. So I decide just to use the call in line and not have a vacation day.

Suddenly we are inside in an office. My wife is at a desk typing on a computer. The guy is sitting several feet behind her watching the computer screen. He is behaving like a silent observer. Ignore him completely. I am on the floor putting my shoes on. As I am getting the last shoe on I remember to pay attention to my awareness like I do in RL. I think to myself, “I am dreaming.” But I didn't mean anything. Then it dawns on me. “I AM dreaming!”

I don't have my shoe on but I know it doesn't matter. I look around. I remember to stay calm. I try to focus on various office supplies on the desk. I see things like a coffee mug with pens and pencils in it. Then I look my my wife and see the guy in peripheral vision. I never really look at the guy. Maybe he will be my dream guide. Too bad I forgot to think of that. Anyway I know neither one matters and talking to them at this point would be a waste. They are just DCs.

I stand up and turn around. I see a door that is partially open. It is the only way out of the small room. I briefly remember that if I ever become lucid at work I would have fun with it and do the things I couldn't do in RL. I rush for the door and expect to see the production floor.

I open it and instead... The room I was in is at the end of a long hallway full of doors. Each door goes to a different office. "OK fine. Stay calm. Focus. You are dreaming. Keep awareness." I walk down the hallway and pop into random offices. The walls are wood paneled and with no decor. The doors are those cheap hollow wood doors. They are unpainted and stained a very dark brown. I don't notice the flooring. The color scheme is very bland and boring. All the offices are empty. There are no people anywere. "Ok strange but not that strange for a dream." I hear a phone ring once. I walk into an office room that I thought it came from. I see a desk with computer and a phone that is off the hook. There are a few papers scattered on the desk. I pick the phone up and put it to my ear. I hear nothing so I press zero. I hear a short ring and then, a young woman's voice answers, “Student services.” I think it's odd so I don't say anything. I press the hook with my finger to hang up. I don't hear a dial tone. So I just lay the phone back where it was. I can hear her voice but distantly, “Hello?” The sound of it is as you would expect for a phone away from your ear. I am a little impressed with my subconscious at how vivid the dream is.

I continue down the hall. Now I am looking at double glass doors. It looks really dark outside and I can't see anything beyond the glass. I want to break glass so I rush at it. I can hear my footsteps like I am wearing boots on concrete and I actually feel the impact of my feet on the floor. I note this is really cool for a dream.

I dive head first for the glass but it is soft and doesn't break. I feel my head got stuck. It feels like a wall of Jello. Of course, the natural reaction is to close your eyes. I feel the dream fading. I don't want to lose it so I back out. I re-stabilize myself by looking at the glass doors and focusing. “OK fine. I just want to leave here its boring.” I slowly push the doors with my right hand. There is no sensation and its like the glass is gone but then the door opens and I am looking at the next set of doors. I feel a little frustrated that glass doors are keeping me in this building. I almost feel trapped but I am determined. "Maybe dreams are like being a ghost in the movie Betelgeuse. You can never leave the building. No that's a stupid thought. This is my dream." I push the next doors slowly open.

Then I am immediately engulfed in darkness. I feel myself wanting to wake up. I begin rubbing my hands together. I can feel the friction and heat. It is almost painful. So I stop and clasp my hands together. I am still in the dark void and I think, "Maybe I am awake and I was really doing that with my hands. No, I don't believe it." Then I realize that I in darkness because I just have my dream eyes closed. I slowly open them but cautious not to open my waking eyes. For a moment I am confused because my eyes felt so real. "Am I opening my waking eyes?" So. I only open then halfway. I see that I am at the driver side door of a Grey truck. I decide its safe and I open my eyes fully now. I notice It's not very clear or vivid. The dream quality not as good as it should be. except for my sense of touch. I touch the glass of the door. Solid and feels real. I slap at it a little and am surprised that it sounded normal and I could feel the impact on my hands. Then for some reason I am abruptly jolted awake. I think I heard a noise in the house. It was storming.


7) 8:24a I am going with some people to a house I own. I am renovating and selling. I see a bunch of low class scummy people on the porch. I see a shirtless fat man. His checks hang down real low and he pushes his man boobs together. Somehow it all looks like a giant ball sack. I feel disgusted. I loudly tell someone I don't know how I will ever sale this house will all these kind of people around. I enter the house and the floors are still dusty from sanding the hardwood. There is a little girl there and I kindly ask her to go outside. I wake up.

Work. Left early with wife. Saw others. Buy dog food. K9 advantix dog food $100. Flea treatment in food. Go back to work.

Dancing man in house. Dance in front of mirror turned to manaquins. They come to life and dance too. Teleport everyone on couch. Strange light bending effect. Warp speed. Into fireplace. Walking into empty bar. Wiring. Open wall to another place. Man says I've been waiting for you. What time. 20 12 20. Ok here I am. I look like Tom cruise in a cowboy hat and have a southern draw. He asks how I do that as I climb up a rock cliff. I say strip length of wire. He's holing a wire and stops it a little farther than it was and sends his wife away. I get the feeling like she was escaping from someone bad and he wanted her to be safe. He tells her subway. But instead of her being at the loading area she ends ups on the track deep in a tunnel. Before she has time to do anything the lights of a train appear and she gets hit.

I have my hand on my wife's stomach feeling our baby kick. I fall asleep and dream that his foot or hand sticks like 3 or 4 inches out.

This morning I halfheartedly attempted WILD. I saw the HI turn in a full dream but unfortunately I didn't hold my awareness to be lucid.

my unborn son turned out to be a light blonde ginger. Confused why I haven't payed him much attention. Couldn't remember his birth.

Some Philippino or Mexican woman is my pregnant wife. I shrink a black shoe with green souls. It is the size of my thumbnail. I give it to her for the baby. She replaces that for her r2d2. She will keep baby stuff in it. We make out. It feels real on my lips. I can feel warm smooth skin when I kiss her neck.

Aug 1, 2012 3:12AM
Lost in a university library. Working building a small train like rail or large toy car path inside a building. I have maps and guides but no real instructions. I have to find the pieces and figure out how they go. It feels like a military installation.

No recall lastnight.

I have been very tired. My sleep scheduled is off due to going in to work early all week.

FA to Running From Cops

My daughter woke me up in the middle of the night. I'm not sure what time. She was scared so I begrudgingly laid down with her in her bed. I was trying hard to remember the dream she woke me from and only got snippets of emotion. I fall asleep.

I have a false awakening were I get up from her bed and get into my own. I go to sleep and enter another dream. I am at an old church friends house. We are just hanging out. They are living in a small converted upstairs into an apartment type thing. I see an ash tray and a pack of herbal cigarettes. I smoke them. It tastes like the smell of burning paper. I immediately feel guilty because I quit smoking in January and I feel like I messed up even-though they are gross herbals. Then I feel even more guilty because I am the house of a church friend with children.

babies
walking past auto dealership
wife takes a key.
got rid of it run and hid. running and climbing buildings Assassins creed style.
I falsly remember a time had a high speed chase from cops and I hid in the roof. But they found me and arested me.
look out a peep hole and see cops throwing walnuts at the roof. It makes a loud thunk sound.

Wake up

New Home *LUCID* DILD


First I am at a casino. I see that people are playing and thier machine are hitting all over. Like big. several thousand dollar wins. I think I should play. Can't find atm. So I do to a different casino just to use atm. Play once lose then leave.

Some how I find myself in bed with my wife. It is a day we are both off and just being slow to wake up. We are in a studio appartement. And the front door is a sliding glass patio door. It is at the head of our bed.

My dad knocks. I open the door enough to let him in. She says something.. he needs something. I wave him on tell him to get it. He leaves. I get comfy by snuggling with my wife. He comes back. I let him in. He says something about "college kids would love to have fireworks." I reply just as smart ass. Like "Boom shakalaka" (cant remember now). He leaves. I ask my wife, "Did you hear what I said?" And laugh.

Then this black kid is at the back door. He wants to sell me candy. I notice he has some bite sized candy. It looks like leftover halloween candy. I smirk, thinking he is just selling whatever candy he has. This is no fund raiser.
I say, "OK how much for a small one?"
"Gold!"
"What do you mean?" I don't know what the kid is talking about.
He looks at me, "They are coins. You can buy a whole bunch of groceries."
"Let me see that coin you got in your hand. Dude thats a quarter!" I laugh at him and add, "Come back later. I don't have cash."

He looks disapointed and leaves. I can hear him talking to his dad in the next appartemnet building. I think "oh God. Loud neighbors." Then for some reason I put ice trays in the freezer. That is by the back door.

I wonder out back and see a nice concrete patio. I see a neighbor has a grill and I see a chain where they keep it locked up. But then the grill is gone and I assume they must use it on the other side.
I think, "We need to go get our grill and use it. And OMG we left all that stuff in the shed. We need to go get it before we take the u-haul back." I go back in.

Now I am cuddled on a couch with my wife watching TV. I think how we got here and why. I ask my wife, "What was the price difference between this place and our house?"
She tell me, "Only about $67." "
"Oh not much savings then. Yeah...Hmmm. OK." I think about the house we came from. I remember the wrong house than real life. I feel confused. I catch on and try to think. I remember another wrong house but closer. "No this feels wrong." I have this huge memory gap. Think, "OK where did we come from and why?...This place is so much smaller. We still have to sell the old house. Are we just going to forclose? That's so stupid!"

Now I am starting to get it. I tell her, "So we were better off before."
"Yeah probably." Her head is on my chest and she looks up at me when she says this.
I smile and say, "OK we wont move then."
She sits up. "What do you mean? Its too late."
"I dreamed this last night."
"Or you dreamed this tonight?"
Yeah whatever..." I am this not lucid but I know. I am talking about it like the dream was over but not over. I felt like I was in the dream but had woken up already. I say, "This hasnt happened. This was just a dream."
"Whatever." She doesn't believe me.
I get up. And look around. I look up and see the sky were the ceiling should be. That's when I really get it.
"Yep I am dreaming."
"No we are not." She refuses to see it.
"Yes we are. Look up. Why do you see the sky?"
I prance around to the back of the cough while clapping my hands and singing. "We are dreaming.

♪ ♫ ♬ We are dreaming. We are dreaming. We are... Dreaming. ♪ ♫ ♬

Then I say, "Hey. babe watch this!" I jump off the back of the couch and start to fly away.

AND THEN THE SON-OF-A-BITCH ALARM CLOCK GOES OFF!

WILD FA DEILD TOTY fail
#I try to WILD but loose consciousnesses.

I get up and feel like I can't sleep. The room looked normal but the light was brighter. I woke up and think DEILD. I immediately hit SP-ish feelings and started visualizing the titanic. I saw my feet touch a wooden deck but it faded. I tried to visualize boarding the ship. I saw it docked on the harbor and the beach and I heard seagulls loud in my ears.

#Then the damn cat starts scratching on something I look all concentration.

Play With Guns

#I really feel like I was lucid in the beginning but I can't remember so perhaps not.

Something about holding people hostage or maybe I was hostage. I decide to do something risky. I have a gun. I shot some rounds.

I run into another room and get more bullets. My brother is trying to stop me. I think I will shot him in the foot if I have too. Then he bursts in the room and shoots me in the foot and legs. He says something about making me dance. I feel the bullets hit me and it stings like airsoft. I think maybe he just has a toy gun. Then he chokes me. I grunt and say, "Damn it Tim I know what I am doing." That seems to be enough to where we understand eachother.
He leaves.

Now I am reading a paper like a court doc. There was a bunch of text but these words popped out at me.

charged with playing with guns.... near a school...Type Revolver...Acquitted...Lucid...

What lucid? Oh yeah. I wake up.

Bully The Bullies
I am in a warehouse with a buddy. We get jumped by two young dudes. We fight. There were pauses were one of us had over-sized tools in our hands looking all tough. Like one time I had a giant screw driver. Then we have them tied up ready to beat them.
My buddy says, "We got to bully the bullies. They can't take it. That's how they learn."

#I wake briefly. While trying to set the dream to memory I end up in another NLD.

We are about to attack the bullies house. I am with a guy and some woman. The woman is calling the shots. It is dark and we are all in black. We are sneaking up to the house with chlorophyll. She calls us to group behind a car. I want to ignore her but her yelling makes me go so that she will shut up.

#I wake up.

Randomness

I am at ex-wife's parents house. I was dropping the kids off. My older daughter was sleeping in a bed. I go outside and see a car speeding out of the driveway. I look my car over and see my trunk open and empty. All my stuff was stolen. I go tell someone. And come back but my stuff is there like it should be. I drive away but I have some blonde chick with me. I know that she is my wife's friend. I take her to GA church. I walk her inside and get playful with her by poking her in the ribs. It was all non flirty but more brother/sister teasing. I see a bunch of bible students there and I say something funny to one of them and walk off.

Precious
I was thinking how boring the last dream was and I found myself looking at a strange scene. There was something about people going missing. Then I see a peach tree in a pot with a few peaches on it. It was like I was watching TV some said something I can remember now. Then the peach tree was on this old ladies head. There were threads of lightning branching out and I saw shrunken heads hanging from it. It was like peoples souls were captured and the old woman was gaining power from it. I saw a ghostly visage of here next victim. It looked like Tommy from Rugrats and next to it was his dad and next to him the Arab guy from the Quickie Mart on the Simpons. I was appalled that she would want to kill her own son???

Fragments
I was trying to WILD and I got all these fragments. I didn't put much effort into remembering them because they were not LD and I was specifically going for lucid.

My blackberry bush had multiplied several times and was full of blackberries. I was shocked and happy.

I see a pack of black wolves coming. I take two deer in my arms and tell my wife to get the dogs. We hid in a garage from a childhood house. There was remodeling going on in it.

The hermit crabs came back to life and somehow survived being frozen.

Something about my black cat being an ass.

Working 12:57am

I am at working doing some strange new cable assembly. I learned how to install something with lights. All the time I had some very alien looking overseers. #vague

At The Park 00:00? *LUCID*

#I dream I am at the same park doing the same thing that I was doing earlier in the evening. We went to a Hospice Memorial Service for my wife's grandpa in real life and this coupled with my ADSA I've been working on immediately trigger a lucid.

I am sitting at the picnic table with all the people. I know that I am dreaming. I want to do TOTM so I make my water bottle be full of the magic potion. It is still clear like water but no I know it is the potion. I drink it. There is not sensation or taste. I immediately begin to float up (like Charlie at the Chocolate Factory). I am completely weightless and I am floating among all the balloons we released in real life. I am so high up that I lose my grounding and feel myself wake up. I fight it.

I am now on the ground staring at the big oak tree in the park. It is covered in balloons.I use that to focus on and ground myself. As I focus and get more detail the balloons become giant white flowers. Very nice. I look around and see no people. The park looks pretty much normal. So I walk around forgetting TOTM. I just taking the scenery and remind myself that I am dreaming. I hold it in me like I do with self-awareness. I anchor my mind to it and not forgetting.

Now I am bored. I can't think of anything to do. Then, I remember that I had decided to work in some spirituality into my dreams. I guess I haven't really thought this through because this first thing I thought of was to call Jesus and talk to him with out really anything to say.(I say it like this because, whatever Jesus I call into existence would only be a version of me in my own mind. So maybe I'm wrong to even consider spirituality?) Anyway, I yell, "Jesus!" I wait a few moments looking around expecting someone to show up. Then BAM! Total darkness. I wake up.

Airplane 2:45a

I am working with some dude in shipping and receiving but instead of trucks, airplanes would come in at warp speed and then just instantly stop. I didn't see this. I just knew it. So the dude I was working with decides to stand as close as he could to were the airplane would come. He wanted to feel the wind rush him and show off.

I try to tell him how stupid he is but he doesn't listen. As I wait I see another airplane slowly fly by our station.

That's all I can remember.

Him 6:00a

I am at some graduation thing. I am following some guy I know but don't really like. It was more like I was obligated to be there. He is moving down a congratulatory line. I see... let's call him J. I think, "Oh yeah of course J would be here." I feel disgusted and jealous of him.

#Side Note
I had really bad restless legs from about before I could even sleep. I was in the recliner till about 2:45A. I tried to take advantage of waking up so much in the recliner by DEILD. But it only ruined my recall.

I'm keeping this short. I find it time consuming to add a lot of detail to NLDs (non-lucid-dreams)

Working
I dream I am working. That's about it. It was a really boring dream with nothing unusual or out of place that I remember. Plus it was a short early REM dream.

My Journal
Jana from work was a my house. I smell her men's cologne before I see her. My house looked a lot like a house my older sister used to live in. She wrote a bunch of shit in my personal journal. One line of text I saw clearly was

I am way too dramatic

I just blow it off like maybe sometimes but whatever.


Sad Bro
My brother visits us from TX. My mom and sisters are there. We chat and then everyone starts doing thier own thing like cell phones, computers, TV. He gets up and tells us he has to leave because he has to work in the morning. He seems real sad and on the verge of tears. I go to him concerned. He tells me he wrote all of us letters. I ask why and he says so that we will all feel better.

#I have no clue what that's about.

The Mall
I am at the mall with my Dad. It is so crowded that you can barely walk without bumping into people. We hear some girls talking about free stuff so we follow them to some clothing store. My wife is there now and as the work puts the stuff out we all grab. I come out with an apron that reads "Simple Simon's Pizza" I am not too happy but my wife is all about it. She is going on about how she loves Simple Simon's Pizza. I find my dad sitting at a table chatting. I get irritated and tell him I want to go.

#The last two dreams were what I call alarm clock dreams. Short dreams in the 9 minutes between snoozes. This happens a lot. I wonder if there would be a way to have a short LD.

Pool

We all went to a pool. There was no one else. We all swam. And I threw a lot of Frisbees.

Damn thats it.

#Don't have much time just want to quickly jot this one. I was really lazy with my techniques even and had a bad night with RSL. I didn't even want to WBTB but I tried to at least take advantage of my wakefulness.

Game Show *LUCID*
I was in some sort of game show remolely like some sort of webcast. The constesents were with me. we were in a church. Then it turned to a house. the others left at the break then it was just me in a recliner. I got a question from the host on a card. I could not read it or make sense of it. My wife wanted me to read it out loud. I told her it cant make sense because I am dreaming and my mind doesnt know what to say on it. I knew I was dreaming but really didnt care much. I felt tired. SO I did my best to read it for her and it was all gibberish and she was frustrated at me like I was making it all up.

Zombies Amusement Park
I ride my bycicle while avoiding zombies. Then I get on an amuzement park ride. It looks similar to the place in this dream: Carnival

The ride is strange. It is white an fluffy and you get on a cushion and the floor vibrates as you spin around. I tried it with my wife but we were too heavy. So I tried it alone and it sort of work. Then I let Deanna do it and she spins so fast she floats away.

Waking Time: 11:00am

Helicopter For Sale

There was something about being at the hospital. Then my wife and I are outside. I see a really small Helicopter for sale. Its looks big enough to hold at least on person maybe two. For some reason I think maybe it is a radio controlled toy but I dismiss that idea. I have this conversation with my Wife:

Me: Look, it's a helicopter for sale!

Wife: Yeah, like we have $50,000

Me: No, it's probably more like the price of a used car.

Wife: So, like we need a helicopter.

Me: BUT ITS A HELICOPTER! We can fly around in it. How cool would that be? I mean I could fly to work. Well, maybe not work it is just a few blocks away. But wouldn't their mom shit bricks if we picked the girls up in that thing. Wow! It would be soooo cool!

Wife: No.

Tinsel Light-Saber

I am in an arena with other Jedi. We are all fighting each other. But we are using stiff pieces of colored tinsel as light-sabers. WTF LOL. The swords where just as functional as any light-saber. Some how I was in third person watching myself. I teamed up with an odd looking human-ish woman. Now I am looking at myself and her fighting together in a screen like on TV. I hear an announcer say, "They are fighting friendly style." I see the words on the screen. People were dying all over. Limbs severed and body punctured. All the light-saber sounds and flashes of light and sparks as tinsel collided. Then some how, the sith I was fighting and I, we eliminated. We just vanish. I don't die but I am out of the game. The focus is on the woman I was teamed up with. I had the only red light-saber. It was lying on the ground. The woman lost her light-saber and did cart wheels to over and picked mine up. Then as the sith ran to her she spun around in one fluid motion and sliced the man straight down the middle of his chest. He fell on his back. Then she reached in with her hands and opened up his chest. I could see chest bone and ribs and lungs and heart. Then she lifted him up to show the crowd. The air filled with the sound of cheers and jeers as she is the winner. Then I am first person. She hands me my light-saber back. I am surprise to get mine back as it was unique. She said something about honor and I realize she really is a good Jedi.

Technique(s): WILD - Failed, DILD - Success, DIELD - Failed, Awareness (Sageous)

Thoughts:I am happy with this dream. It was short but it was still progress. I don't remember all of it clearly because I tried other methods after waking. Plus it was a really boring and mundane dream until I was lucid. I think the biggest contributor to becoming lucid was the fact that I really concentrated on Sageous' idea of self-awareness all day. And my wife and I did in fact go grocery shopping that night and I practiced awareness all much as I could.

WBTB. Up for 5 - 10 min thinking about dreams and lucidity. Fall asleep during WILD. Turns instead into DILD

Shopping *LUCID* - 7:00AM
I am shopping with my wife. (The store reminds of a store in other dreams) It is supposed to be Wal-Mart we are in (the store seems darker or dimly light) I am doing the normal check out thing. Waiting for the cashier and then put the sacks in the cart. My wife forgets something and runs off.

The next thing I remember, I am pushing the cart in the parking lot to my car. It is night time outside. Then I remember my self-awareness. Then suddenly I realize. "Hey I AM dreaming!" I quickly think about what I wanted to do. TOTM. I reach into my pocket and pull out a glowing florescent green potion with carbonation bubbles in a clear glass bottle with a cork on top. (I have imagined this prior) But at that very instant the world goes black and I feel my waking body lying in bed. NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!

DEILD - I enter SP and feel the vibrations. Then they fade and I move (or I think I move) because I feel uncomfortable and I wake up for good.