Thread: DCs Say the Darndest Things

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

The Harry potter toilet one is probably my favorite DC quote this year.

Fryingman's is a close second:

Holy Shit! (get it?)

errr...yep!

Originally Posted by FryingMan

+ Wife tells me "You know I love you dearly but when we were making love earlier you farted and it so startled the priest that he didn't know what to do so he left."

Gotta love our brains, aye?

Me: Sorry about the smell of my room. My lizard took a shit in her cage.
Phil: It's cool bro.
Sydney: What is Microsoft?
Everyone: *Looks at Sydney who is holding up a Microsoft software box*

My word, this thread is getting very scatalogical as of late.

I haven't interacted too much with my DCs and most of the time they give brief logical responses or say nothing at all. But here are the 2 best I have so far:

My mother is standing out there. I walk past her and say, “I’m dreaming.” She responds, “No we’re not.” I turn back to her, shocked. DC’s rarely respond to me in lucid dreams. I say, “Trust me Mom, I’m dreaming. I will prove it.” I hop up onto a low stone wall and leap into the air. I fly up to about 30 ft off of the ground and turn back to look down on her and smile. She is looking up at me in awe. She says, “That is amazing. You should patent this.”

My wife comes running in the room and says, “I’m lucid dreaming! Look I can fly!” She levitates off the floor and begins to fly slowly around the room.

Flash mob choir singing:

♪ God's peace in my hedge ♫

Medic treating me for twisted knee and another guy for a snakebite is asking us:

"So, on the scale of 1-10, how stupid are you to come out there where snakes are."

Wake up in a false awakening, immediately confronted by invisible ghost. In a menacing voice, it says "ARE YOU A LITTLE GIRL?"

My subconscious, being a jerk, makes me say "yes".

I was so excited once to ask a DC who was I in the previous life. I imagined some epic characters and unbelievable tales.
His answer: "A filthy thug."
.....
-_-

The context is what makes it "the darndest thing."

A lady realtor is bugging me, I just want to get away:

Realtor: "I have 130,000 problems to solve." [although this is pretty "darndest thing", too]
Me: (I need to get out of here)
Realtor: "I love you."
Me: What?!

...something clicks.....swoop in for kiss, get lucid, do a TOTM, thanks realtor! I'm glad this didn't go into the "stupidest ways you missed getting lucid!" thread!

Now last nights account all makes sense as i read the entry above me. (I did read it during the day yesterday)

A male DC that looks all goth with dark hair and eyes, wearing black eyeliner and black lipstick who plans on exacting revenge on me

DC (to a DC friend): I am Mori, the realtor, am I not?
Me: Yeah, but you're only Mori
DC (says confidently): Mori, Mimosa.... The realtor!

From my dream last night. Basically I was Tarzan. I am remembering my mother, who is an ape, who sang this little song to me when I was a baby: "I love you for breakfast, I love you for lunch, I love you for dinner, I love you a bunch."

From a couple nights ago, after robbing a bank with my friend Rob, and escaping in a police car:

Rob: *Driving 35 in a 35*
Me: What the hell are you doing?
Rob: Gotta do the speed limit dude.
Me: We just robbed a fucking bank!
Rob: So? They don't have the make on our car.
Me: We killed two police officers and stole their fucking car!!!
Rob: Whatever dude. Still gotta go the speed limit.

Ok, a DC didn't say this... but I had a dream last night where I had a clear memory of a very large scary man and I knew his actual name was "Manny McMurderer."

A couple of nights ago, my wife starts arguing with me:

Wife: You should write down everything you're gonna say before you say it. You don't understand what other people say! You just guess what they are saying, and many times you're guessing wrong!
Me: Hey! I got around 80% of right answers in my German test. It means I could be guessing just in a 20% wrong...

[The dream scenario switches into the kindergarten, then my wife gives me a document written in unreadable German where I get to read the word "MAMONA" (feminine for sucker in Spanish) highlighted in capitals and quotes.]

Wife: Look, the Director of the kindergarten says you called your daughter "Mamona" and she says parents should never call their kids that way.
Me: What!?? I never said that! When did I say that?
Wife: I don't know, she says she heard you calling your daughter that way once.
Me: Perhaps she didn't get it right. Perhaps I wanted to call her attention because of I wanted to hurry up or maybe it was by the time she was using the baby bottle...

Woke up in the middle of a riot...

Me writing advice to a fellow DreamViews member:
"Take it easy, BlunderScore!"

I don't know who BlunderScore is supposed to be, but last year I had another dream in which I made up a bunch of names of people, and when I woke up, I knew who they were:

Xanaxx99 (Xanous and PostScript99 combined)
Oprah (OpheliaBlue - and I still think of her as Oprah)
Canis Lupus Lupus (Canis Lucidus)
misbehaven (bemistaken - where did she go?)
Sagittarius (Sageous)
Godzilla (Linkzelda)

Sibyline. I am sad I didn't make the list.

I love how they are all similar except linkzelda is just Godzilla. Lol.

And Sagittarius fits sageous well, like Oprah fits opheliah. I need to log into DV more in my dreams. I used to be in towns called "DV" during non lucids. Never recognized anyone though.

I'm on my bedroom on the 3rd floor. I opened the window and outside it was all made of Lego: ground, trees and some people.

Me, to a Lego policeman: "Hello. How are you?"
Lego policeman: "Fine, thank you."
Me, to a Lego woman: "Good morning."
Lego woman: "Good morning."
Me, to a Lego construction worker: "What are you going to do now?"
Lego construction worker: "I'm going hunting".

Originally Posted by DreamHighlander

I'm on my bedroom on the 3rd floor. I opened the window and outside it was all made of Lego: ground, trees and some people.

Me, to a Lego policeman: "Hello. How are you?"
Lego policeman: "Fine, thank you."
Me, to a Lego woman: "Good morning."
Lego woman: "Good morning."
Me, to a Lego construction worker: "What are you going to do now?"
Lego construction worker: "I'm going hunting".

Let me guess, you've seen the Lego movie with the construction worker main hero, right?

Originally Posted by JoannaB

Let me guess, you've seen the Lego movie with the construction worker main hero, right?

Nope. I haven't seen the Lego movie. Just a trailer some months ago. And Lego toys are not something that i think about. But it was nice to see that in my dream.

Talking posters (last night):

-The first one shows a woman with Anorexia holding a skinny dog who apparently suffers of the same eating disorder, then a voice: "It's not they are just a product of this time. They existed in Elvis times too, although in those times no one cared to take a picture of them."

-The other, in the upper half of the poster shows a concerned Mario Vargas Llosa sitting on a transparent table with a pile of empty glass jars next to him. There's an unreadable text which a voice behind me clarifies: "I have eaten all of my preserved food!". The other half shows a riffle ammo next to an unfinished cigarette, then the voice: "The head of a famous terrorist movement died with a bullet through his stomach" then it continues describing how he had a painful agony and it finishes the commercial: "The above is a truth that hurts, below is a lie which only purpose is to heal those truths that hurt!"

I took a DCs body and got a whole restaurant mad at me because they knew that I was a dreamer. I jumped back to my body and they start attacking him.
DC: why are they attacking me? I thought that LDing was safe.
Me: sometimes when you let the DCs know that they are fake they get angry.
DC: well you are an LDer like me, why aren't they attacking you.
Me: I am not an LDer. I am the DC version of your friend.
I grab him and hold him as all manner of creepy villians attack him until he wakes up. I talked to him later and he told me about it. Not remembering that I possessed his body, or that he was just a normal DC. Not an LDer. I will be posting the whole dream soon. But this part was the interesting DC talk.

I was once Stalin in a dream. I was talking to Khrushchev and told him that when he is premier, he needs to be more communistic.

Not really something someone said but rather how I reacted to something:
In some kind of gym, a bunch of guys were standing around with their faces covered in transparent adhesive tape making they look really stupid. I realized they were training their face muscles and tought something like "Shit, I better not mess with them..."