Thread: Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder

Hmm, let's see, what all tendencies to I have these days....

I'd say probably the worst ones right now are blinking, especially along with kind of flexing muscles in my head... which is hard to describe, no one ever knows what the hell I'm talking about, but I always just thought it was something everyone was aware of. X) I do it all the time. If anyone sees me it probably looks like I'm having a stroke or something. However, this one wears itself out... eventually it stops working, and I forget about it until much later it comes back again, at least that seems to be the case. This is only the second time it's come around, rather annoying. :T The other is cracking joints, which I do probably at least a few times every couple minutes when I'm just idling (i.e., not distracted), particularly in my upper arms and neck, but also knuckles and knees. Often times it goes along with the blinking/flexing thing, at least when it's around.

Lesser than those is the symmetry, which is technically more severe when it's around, but that happens less often. I become very uncomfortable if my bodily sensations aren't evened out, and I'll go as far as somewhat severely injuring myself to achieve it. Sometimes I'll have to do patterns to balance things out, because it bothers me that a sensation was felt first on my right side and then on my left, or vice-versa. For example, I'll tap my finger on my right knee, then on my left, then left again, then right, then the exact opposite, and sometimes I'll do that a few times, reversing order each time. That's a basic example, but it also applies to things such as walking on tiled floors, brushing my hair out of my face, feeling cracks in the chairs I'm sitting in, seeing my hands/feet (particular fingers and toes) out of the corner of my eyes, or passing from one ground texture to the next, among many others.

I also used to (and still sometimes do, but not as much) arrange my food in patterns based on size, shape, and deliciousness. It feels wrong to eat them in any other order.

I'm sure more will come to me when I've had some time to think about it....

Oh, I also used to have to rearrange all of the objects in bathrooms whenever I would use them for extended periods of time (so basically, #2). I still do this often in my bathroom at home, but I can usually avoid it in other places now. That one's died down with age, thankfully. I also have to use the bathroom naked when I do, and arrange my clothes with the other objects. I can't stand it any other way.

As far as this goes:

OCD Severity:
Varies, usually pretty severe when I haven't been doing psychedelics (and unimaginably worse when I've been doing stimulants)

Obsessions in order of Seriousness:
1. Recurrent sexual thoughts or images
2. An intense need to have or put things in a particular order
3. Aggressive or frightening impulses
4. Doubts
5. Fear of contamination

That looks about right....