Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by Warheit

People who cut themselves are attention seekers. Until you are willing to face that fact, you aren't going to get better.

Mmmmm... it's hard to say.
I mean, there's hardly EVER a definitive answer. Some are attention seekers, and some are just people who don't know how to deal with their emotions.
My cousin used to do the most fucked up shit, she'd scratch her arms, until they'd pour out with blood. Not something you want to see. Thank fuck my parents kicked her out; She wasn't a very good person, one of the biggest attention seekers and psychologically fucked up person you will ever meet.

Gorillaz, "Good guys finish last". I'm sure you're familiar with that saying Sometimes good people are thought of as joy-kills. But then again, your friends might just suck.

Tommo. I hope you get called back!! I also hope you feel better soon. It amazes me how poorly coedine is looked upon there. My hubby has taken Tylenol 4 (Extra Strength Tylenol with Codine) since I met him in 1998. Personally, I can't take the stuff because it makes me
Hydros are severely frowned upon here. They do very little to nothing for me *shrug*

My rant is that today is my last day of Hulu Plus for a week. Prison Break is only available for Plus members and I'm on the 20's episode (out of 22) of season 2. But I am SOOOO not in the mood for Hulu today (so far) I should at least finish the season. Then again, it will likely end on a cliff hanger which will drive me crazy for the week
I'm also VERY tired but too stubborn to sleep. My latest habit has been to stay awake for about 3 days then sleep for 15 hours then do it all over again. But I take a crap-ton of caffeine in order to do so.
My right kidney is sore.
My left knee is VERY sore- to the point it's difficult to get into a squatting position then back up. The relexes in my knees are extremely exaggerated (?). You could just tap them and my knee will "kick" as when I doctor taps it with that mallet thing. One of my tap spots is inflamed for some strange reason and it's driving me batty.

Hubby took me to Wally- World to help him with his shopping at 6AM. In the store, I broke out in a cold sweat and felt like passing out. I was VERY hot to the point I had to buy a tank top and change into it in the restroom. I felt like crap the rest of the trip but I put on my happy face to keep hubby from worrying or nagging me. I can't seem to get comfortable now-a-days. I'm hot then I'm freezing. I'm too young for menopause lol

In happy news, an awesome moth has been camped out on the wall just outside my bedroom all evening. I'm going to have to take a picture of him. He's so fuzzy looking I want to pet him

**EDIT**
Another rant is that my freagin browser keeps logging me out of everything. What the heck?

So first day of school was quite bad. I Didn't make any new friends in my new class. They were WEIRD lol. No one even talked to me xD. But I didn't get bullied though.. At lunch and during the breaks I just spent some time with my friends from my previous class. Who are amazing btw. I'm dropping out of high school in a few days and gonna work in my dad his construction business probs. I don't wanna go to school anymore for 3 more years just for a stupid diploma. I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do, I can make my own decisions.. I'm 18

Originally Posted by Warheit

People who cut themselves are attention seekers. Until you are willing to face that fact, you aren't going to get better.

Not everyone is. I'm sure there are people who cut themselves just for attention. But not me, I do everything to hide my scars from people I know. It's not like I cut myself and then be like: "hey friends and family I cut myself alot, look at my scars"

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Not everyone is. I'm sure there are people who cut themselves just for attention. But not me, I do everything to hide my scars from people I know. It's not like I cut myself and then be like: "hey friends and family I cut myself alot, look at my scars"

I'm probably going a little bit to far, so you don't need to answer this. But why do you cut yourself, what do you wanna accomplish with it?

Originally Posted by Ekyu

I'm probably going a little bit to far, so you don't need to answer this. But why do you cut yourself, what do you wanna accomplish with it?

Nah dw it's fine. I cut myself to feel something, I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all. It may sound weird but if I cut myself when I'm really feeling down, it makes me feel better. People who've never cut themselves probably don't understand it

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Nah dw it's fine. I cut myself to feel something, I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all. It may sound weird but if I cut myself when I'm really feeling down, it makes me feel better. People who've never cut themselves probably don't understand it

But don't you feel bad after it? Again, no disrespect, but won't you regret that decision in the future? Kind of looks like a vicious circle you are in. I know it's probably not easy to stop, but will you try to think about it? I think many dreamview members really care about you, even if it's behind a computer screen.. Really hope you will feel better soon!

Originally Posted by Ekyu

But don't you feel bad after it? Again, no disrespect, but won't you regret that decision in the future? Kind of looks like a vicious circle you are in. I know it's probably not easy to stop, but will you try to think about it? I think many dreamview members really care about you, even if it's behind a computer screen.. Really hope you will feel better soon!

Yeah I feel disgusting after doing that. But it's kind of addicting, at first I thought I could control it. But I was wrong. And I know many DV members care about me, which means alot to me! And thanks man!! x

Originally Posted by Crashyy

I really got no one to talk to ):

You got US


Sorry random jump-into-converation Still mean it, though

OH man..... I called back the interviewer and she is in meeting again! I wonder if it's an "in meetings" thing or not. How could she be in meetings all day? and at least one yesterday when I rang.
That would suck if it's true, for her. lol
Anyway, lady who answered the phone was incompetent. I was talking so clearly, as I make sure I do on the phone and she just couldn't understand anything. Probably gave the complete wrong message.

Met up with Rae camping at the fair this past week, Let her break my heart again, I learned the lesson for good this time.

I am not happy.... at all. just lost another friend. Second friend in the same year. Hooray. Now I get to pity myself in this fucken hell hole again. Kept pretty much alive by this goddamned booze. Love how everytime I lose a friend, I drink more. I'm 100% sure my body just loves this. But it, more than my head can take. Unfortunately, I can't take much more of this. I've on the verge of snapping, and I have no idea what to do. I'm never gonna find anyone in this place... and I feel trapped by work. I.... I have no idea what to do anymore. I pretty much given up on even trying to contact my friends. And they dud the same to me. what a fucken lovely life I live. I want human contact, yet I run away from it.... Nice.


Sorry..... I needed to put this somewhere. Time for bed I think.

For the record, my friends didn't die. They just.... had lives of their own to live.

Damn, I thought they were dead. I was gonna feel bad about making my pathetic rant.
I'll just say this again though, you need to move Spart. There comes a point when being there for other people is not worth it.
That point is when it starts negatively affecting you.
It's hard, but you have to move on for your sake. And you will feel much better in the long run.

Just a pathetic rant:
I was hungry before, low blood sugar, felt sick and hadn't had any cigarettes. I just felt SO GODDAMN ANGRY!
Was ridiculous, haven't felt like that for quite a while.
Now I ate and am on my second cigarette and I feel tired and sick.
My foot is still sore when I walk and this Codeine ain't doing shit.
Oh and I gotta work tonight.

Do you have an accent Tommo? I always thought it strange how some people cannot understand even the "simplest" of accents. When I was a stripper, we (working at the club) ate Chinese food a lot. I had to make the orders every time because no one could understand the poor guy. I also never have a hard time with the "Indians" in tech support.
Understanding my hubby, on the other hand lol, is impossible sometimes. He doesn't have an accent, he just tends to mumble

Oh, hey, Mr. Moth came into my bedroom. He's lounging on my towel. He's kind of ugly from a distance lol.

Anyhow... I hope you manage to get ahold of the lady and get the job

OldSparta. My heart goes out to you. Just take care of yourself, man. No one is worth what you're putting yourself through!
Same for you, Zera.

My son has a friend coming over tomorrow. He hasn't seen this friend in a long time because he joined the Navy and doesn't come home often. The house looks like crap and my son just shrugged and said "James is used to our mess." Who's mess? Not mine. I never leave my bedroom hobo.
I do have to get off my butt and clean the bathroom again though. It's a never ending frequent job with the bunny making his messes everywhere.
And my room looks awful. Meesha dragged my clothes out of a couple baskets and now they're all over my floor. I keep telling the dogs to pick up their mess, but they're not listening Guess I need to get that done soon too. It's my own fault for not hanging up my clothes. Now I have to rewash them.

I ended up falling asleep from around 5-9. I haven't woken up in such a heavy sweat in a long time. My hair was literally drenched. THe sad thing is that my AC (RIGHT above my mattress) was set at 76 and medium fan.
My knee still hurts, even when sitting and I feel a bit like barfing. I HAVE to be coming down with something.
I don't know what's up with my knee. When at the store earlier, it felt like it was trying to pop out of socket.

Oh well. I'm going to see if the rain has stopped. If it has, I'm going to put Mr.Moth back outside. He's been inside for at least 24 hours, and most of that was spent on the same spot of wall outside my room lol.

If only Obama were half the man Fox News makes him out to be.

I somehow missed a chunk of posts.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Tommo. I hope you get called back!! I also hope you feel better soon. It amazes me how poorly coedine is looked upon there. My hubby has taken Tylenol 4 (Extra Strength Tylenol with Codine) since I met him in 1998. Personally, I can't take the stuff because it makes me
Hydros are severely frowned upon here. They do very little to nothing for me *shrug*

I'd kill for some hydros. Fuck Codeine. It makes me feel sick too if I have too much. Especially if I do a cold water extraction and have to drink it.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

Do you have an accent Tommo? I always thought it strange how some people cannot understand even the "simplest" of accents. When I was a stripper, we (working at the club) ate Chinese food a lot. I had to make the orders every time because no one could understand the poor guy. I also never have a hard time with the "Indians" in tech support.
Understanding my hubby, on the other hand lol, is impossible sometimes. He doesn't have an accent, he just tends to mumble

Oh, hey, Mr. Moth came into my bedroom. He's lounging on my towel. He's kind of ugly from a distance lol.

Anyhow... I hope you manage to get ahold of the lady and get the job

lol, I dunno, I guess, but it's just Australian like everyone else here, maybe less so than most people. But I've been told I mumble by a few people. But when I need to make a good impression I try to enunciate everything correctly.
Maybe it's just worse than I thought I should practice I guess.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

So first day of school was quite bad. I Didn't make any new friends in my new class. They were WEIRD lol. No one even talked to me xD. But I didn't get bullied though.. At lunch and during the breaks I just spent some time with my friends from my previous class. Who are amazing btw. I'm dropping out of high school in a few days and gonna work in my dad his construction business probs. I don't wanna go to school anymore for 3 more years just for a stupid diploma. I'm sick of everyone telling me what to do, I can make my own decisions.. I'm 18

Good choice, tbh. If you don't wanna become a doctor or something, not really any point continuing. And even if you do later on, there's nothing stopping you from going back to Uni.
Teacher's and parents suck in regards to saying finishing school is paramount. It's fucking bullshit. You can get in as a mature age student one year after you've left school, and they don't give a fuck if you've done year 12 or not.
And I didn't know what I wanted to do either so my last 3 years were literally just completely a waste of time. And it was hell. I had anxiety and barely showed up, and I had shit friends and it was just terrible.
Wish I'd dropped out too.

's to Crashyy and Zhaylin

Thanks Tommo. lol I've skipped chunks myself before
If you've only had problems with this one person failing to understand you, then maybe THEY have the problem.
I prefer looking at people when I speak with them because even if I can understand them, I don't always hear them right away. It seems certain tones (?) are harder for me to hear than others. And then there's always "delayed hearing" As funny as it is, it annoys the crap out of me.
I can hear all the words sometimes but they just dont register with my brain. Or my ears mis-hear certain things and then it takes a moment for my brain to decipher what was actually said. THAT happens a LOT. THe other day I thought my hubby said he needed me to pick up some "mayonaise" for his toes. He really said "bandaids" rofl

For anyone even thinking about dropping out of school I would encourage them to make sure they have a very strong social network first (be it friends or family or both).
I'm a recluse. I never make an effort to get out in the world or mingle etc. My oldest son is the same way mostly. I've ranted about this before but I taught him no real life skills and he didn't pick up many on his own. I fear he's going to be living at home with me- with no job- until I die.
As luck would have it, after he dropped out he got into that trouble with his sister and how he's a drop out AND a registered sex offender. I don't see him ever getting work.
If he had a social network however, people could've helped open some doors.

Education is a bit of a joke in many ways. But I think it helps prepare people for the real world (by supposedly instilling a healthy work ethic, chain of command and a network).
When I had to attend school with my daughters though.... that's why I wrote "supposedly". School is nothing like it was when I was a kid when it comes to classroom settings, respect, the work etc.

My rant is my stupid stubborness. I didn't go to bed last night. Instead, I just frequently micro-napped at my desk. It's such a hassle to go to bed (not really, I'm just that lazy). Because of the dogs, I strip my mattress every time I get out of bed. I "fold" the top sheets together and then the bottom ones and I set them on my cabinet. When I get ready for bed (usually when exhausted) I have to figure out which way they all go. They have to be faced in the right direction (feet at bottom always) or it annoys me. But the blankets are non-descript.
I'm also almost out of smokes and I can't get an advance from hubby until after his nap after work at around 9PM
I guess it's time for me to start counting change lol

Man... you guys remember me talking about a friend of mine, way back? The guy with the really crazy parents who thought I was a stalker for sending a netbook his way? Well, now I'm worried about him for entirely different reasons. I only know him via the internet, and I guess he's got another friend that he only knows through the internet. I don't know this guy at all. But my friend thinks this guy may have just committed suicide...

You can't really tell these things when you aren't there in person. And there's a pretty good chance the guy is fine. In fact, my other friends think he's just a horrible attention-seeker with no regard for people's feelings. For my friend's sake I actually really hope that's the case. He's... "fragile" enough as it is, and if he loses a friend like this... I shudder to think of what he could do. I know he's contemplated suicide himself...

Why can't things ever be simple?

School is starting and i have no friends, this shouldn't be a shocker cause i never had any to begin with.

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Not everyone is. I'm sure there are people who cut themselves just for attention. But not me, I do everything to hide my scars from people I know. It's not like I cut myself and then be like: "hey friends and family I cut myself alot, look at my scars"

Always Hide mine too, its not about the attention,

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Nah dw it's fine. I cut myself to feel something, I'd rather feel pain then nothing at all. It may sound weird but if I cut myself when I'm really feeling down, it makes me feel better. People who've never cut themselves probably don't understand it

I know exactly what you mean, its like a way to release the pain, Its not like I do it when I'm happy, but I have panic attacks and honestly it stops them from continuing or going on, its like letting go of emotional pain through physical pain to match it. and like I said I try to hide it and do for the most part, very few close people ever have known that I have cut.

I litterally just went through this again, and its because I have been happy in the past months for the most part since I joined DV, It actually helped me get over this girl, but she just came and messed it up again. And No i'm not just saying that because she hurt me, we were friends and she lead me on, again.

Oh and btw I like your playlist crashy matches up with mine almost exactly.

My rant, is the constant complex emotional flowchart that people insist on using.
1. Make it clear that something is wrong. Act depressed.
2. Refuse to tell anyone what is going on.
3. Upon further probing, begin to act aggressive, even though the person is purely concerned about your well being.
4. Continue to complain about life without revealing what is wrong, and generally be absolutely no fun.
5. Make everyone else's life miserable, slowly destroy your relationship with them.
6. Cry, and complain, and wonder why no one bothers with you any more.
Generally speaking anyway. I understand there might be a serious problem, that you can't talk about. However, the majority of the time, it's something fucking stupid.

I am in love. Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love
L
O
V
E
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE



I just wanted you to know that.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I am in love. Love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love love
L
O
V
E
LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOVE



I just wanted you to know that.

Soo.... rave or rant?

Originally Posted by OldSparta

Soo.... rave or rant?

Take your pick, they're both good to me.