Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by tommo

...

This might be one of my favourite posts from you ever.

I have trouble not caring what people think of me. Even to get to the level you are would be incredible. I've gotten used to trying pretty much all the time. I feel confident in a way, I even act in my head like I'm confident. But the nervousness is always there, even knowing it's irrational.

I'm kind of similar in the way that I worry people think I don't like them. Definitely not exactly the same as you. For me I think I'm so nervous about everything, I think so much into what I'm going to say, that the whole thing is just stressful. If someone tries to talk to me, I can't relax, even though I'm trying to look like I'm relaxed. The best I can do is like... force out a casual voice, and obviously there are microexpressions and stuff showing how nervous I really am, and they pick up on that and think I'm really intense or something. Just like... the opposite of someone you can relax around. Of course I have no idea if that's really the impression I give off. It's possible no one thinks anything of me, and that's how most conversations go, and the reason I can never hold a conversation longer than a few minutes is something else.

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I read last night for like 2 hours, the 5th ASOIAF book. I'm in the last quarter. This is the first time I've read in... literally over a year, just on my own and not in the bus or on a plane. It's also the first time I've read something in bed with a smartphone. I'm not sure what to think about it. It's definitely more convenient but my eyes started to hurt. I had some really vivid dreams which I wrote down, about being in Costa Rica. Which btw my brother is coming home from in a month, and my dad is going there for a couple weeks. My family has latched onto this place for the last 8 years. It's ridiculously expensive. They need to start vacationing somewhere else. Whenever anyone comes home from that place, they're completely brainwashed. You can't say a thing around them without them spewing the learned lines: "and how does that make you feel?" "what does that say about you?" "and whose problem is that?" "do you need to process that?" etc. It gets annoying quickly. Especially considering those people are never really 'healed', they use it in a more passive-aggressive way.

Last night I finished the last of my assignments. Now for school I only have finals to concentrate on. But I also have to figure out what I'm doing for a job. I'm starting to think there actually aren't many CS jobs, and that maybe I should just plan to get some retail job again... hopefully a more grown-up one and not some fast-food job. Can I be social enough for that? I don't know. After considering interviewing for actual CS jobs for so long, a shitty no-experience job doesn't seem as intimidating.

I don't know what I'm doing. I have to do stuff now. It's 1:30 and I haven't even put my contact lenses in today. I literally got out of bed and onto my chair right beside it. And it's 1:30... fuck.

Jeez Tommo, you're friggin lucky. This is the closest beach to me:



BLARGH. In case you're wondering, the water is a lovely opaque green/brown hue! Significantly better but still no Jamaica (or Australia, for that matter):

beach-no-people.jpg

Australia would be one of my choices in places I want to live, but it seems like kind of a nanny state (no offense or anything). Not that the US isn't all up in our business, just... less so.

This is the beach we used to go to when I was little, the closest one to me. Do I win?

I live about 2 hours driving from the nearest beach. I'm surprised I actually found a picture where it looks 'okay'. I've been there quite alot but idk, I really don't like the beaches here in belgium. The water is usually brown/greyish and I prefer it to be blue lol.

Closest beach from me, Sugar beach and Sunnyside. But don't trust the water...it's actually a lake. :\ and look at us comparing beaches
14_canadas_sugar_beach_1.jpgcafe01.jpg

Such beauty.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

This is the beach we used to go to when I was little, the closest one to me. Do I win?

In the pretty beach contest? I'd say it's a good contender, but it looks kind of cold. Are the beaches up there for looking or swimming? I remember visiting Cape Cod one summer and just about freezing when I took a run through the water, and you're actually in Canada. So.

Crashyy, yours looks pretty except for being so crowded, and I'm guessing it's freezing too? Course you guys might be used to the temperature, good swimming weather here is 85+ to me (about 29.5 C to the rest of the world. Stupid america. It's probably lower for some people, but I'm always cold, so I like hot weather.)

And yours could have fooled me Hathor! Seems nice though.

I think in the ugly beach contest I'm still winning, I mean, at least OP's had a nice whale. Even if it was dead.

Originally Posted by NewArtemis

In the pretty beach contest? I'd say it's a good contender, but it looks kind of cold. Are the beaches up there for looking or swimming? I remember visiting Cape Cod one summer and just about freezing when I took a run through the water, and you're actually in Canada. So.

It's a shitty beach contest. I posted that because it looks so terrible. I'm not sure how you even thought it was a good contender. And I don't know, people seem to forget that Canada is a huge place. I live on the very south-west little corner.

I've barely ever been outside of BC. But in BC, I've been to some places that are good for swimming. Mostly the water is kind of dirty right here because there's a huge island (Vancouver Island) blocking the ocean and waves. There are lakes farther north and east in BC (the Okanogan, and other places) that are beautiful and natury.

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Thinking of going there on a camping trip with my boyfriend actually, or somewhere around there, as it's become clear we aren't going to have any alone time for the month or so he'll be visiting. It's almost funny actually. He's coming in May. My mom is going on a vacation by herself for all of June. My brother is coming home from being away for months in Costa rica, on May 2nd. My dad is going there soon in a couple weeks too, and will be back on May 2nd too. So the entire month of May, everyone will be here. So no alone time. So camping. Yes. Tents or a cabin or something, and a lot of fun sexy time. I haven't been in any of those nice foresty areas since I was little and we went on family vacations, so I'm seriously looking forward to it.

I think in the ugly beach contest I'm still winning, I mean, at least OP's had a nice whale. Even if it was dead.

Unless you're being sarcastic. That whale looked pretty photoshopped to me.

Nope, real whale. I know cause of the pixels and seeing a fair amount of 'shop in my day.

Then I didn't realize whale skin reflected so much light.

@ the pics....nice.

Nice beaches! I grew up in Puerto Rico and Pensacola Florida. Puerto Rico's beaches were rocky... the little I remember about the ones we went to were anyhow. Pensacola's were beautiful back then.
I've never been a big fan of the ocean though. Too many critters and sea weed *shudders*
I live in West Virginia and people tend to swim in creeks and rivers. It's too friggin cold for me- no matter what time of year it is!!!!

Which is an absolute shame because I LOVE swimming. I hate public pools more than freezing water though, so I just suck it up and don't swim at all.
I lived on a Navy Base in Pensacola until I was 16 or so. I swam at the pool there and loved it. Because it was on the base, it wasn't overcrowded or crazy. Here? Forget it.

Love that last beach you posted, Dianeva I think the squid would terrify me though

Tommo, my tanks are 1.6 ml (one of them is 2.0 but it's tasting burned so I've not been using it). I need to buy more tanks tomorrow. When mine get old, they burn my throat and taste like crud I've worried about the long term effects as well. A lot of users say the PG and VG aren't harmful because they're used in things like asthma inhalers... but I don't think asthmatics take hits every few seconds/minutes for hours and days and months on end
I do like them better than cigarettes though when they work properly.

everyone

My rant is that I'm still so very sleepy. I got in a 2 hour nap before counseling and then I turned around and slept in the car for 30-40 minutes once we got there. I'm about ready to head back to bed.

I've been playing this 'cookie clicker' game someone linked on reddit for literally 4 hours. It's become a metaphor for how pointless everything I do is. It's like exaggerating the feeling I always get when I waste time on the internet, only it's become so obviously ridiculous it's like I'm verging on some sort of revelation. Wouldn't it be awesome if it were actually for something. I'm also in the last 10 minutes of watching an entire 2-hour TheAmazingAtheist Live video. I love that guy so much. I honestly feel like I can relate to him more than anyone in a way.. or I guess that he's the only one who can articulate certain thoughts. But I guess a lot of people feel that way or he wouldn't be so popular.

I discovered something new I can do with my stereo. I just played through a bunch of "cat meow" videos on youtube while watching my cat stare into the speaker's soul.

Originally Posted by nicromno

I think I'm gonna get some kind of chronic disease soon. It's really horrible how I pay absolutely no attention to my body.
The least I could do was kind of quit alcohol (or just reduce intake at least), but that has caused me to overeat and drink too much other shitty stuff like soda and water. Although I know what I should be doing (I have it all worked out), I can't seem to get the motivation to get off my computer chair. I'm damned useless and it's really annoying.

This is the rant thread, right?

Join a club, start a sport or hobby. Sport or hobby = social benefits/motivation to do more
This is truly the best option. I was in the same boat as you. Had the plans but never carried them out, started regularly going climbing. Now I'm a rapidly improving climber, get a lot exercise and can come home with the motivation to workout even more.

rofl, Sefalik!
Earlier, my oldest son was getting annoyed with the cats and kittens because they were following him around, clawing at him and meowing. I told him "They want food and water. Take care of them." He did, came back and said "Yep. That's what it was. They all thought they were starving." I told him, "You really need to learn how to speak cat.... As a general rule, if they're paying attention to you, they want something. And that something is usually food."

Dianeva. I know that frustration very well

I've been up since 7:30. Went to bed at midnight. I'm already ready to go back to sleep This fatigue is really friggin annoying! I still haven't gotten my period Is my iron low? I guess I'll start popping the pills I keep on reserve and see if that does the trick.
Another rant is that I took my daughter to work today and stopped at the tobacco shop. They wouldn't replace my faulty tank (no receipt so it's my fault) and they had NO flipping Vanilla e-juice. We finally found some... at 24 mg Nicotine *RAWRRRR* I got it because I don't really like any other flavors. I know now that it's going to make me very ill. I had actually been looking for LESS nicotine.

A rave is that hubby drove out with me and we had lunch at our restaurant. It was very filling and they had Creme Brule for dessert But I had eaten 4 slim jim mini's, 2 reeses singles and a handful of chips just 4 hours prior so I ended up bringing my burger back for the kids.
Another rave is that I now have 800 feet of Plarn rolled into 2 balls. And I'm about to start looping and rolling a third ball. All of it's Krogers brown bags that my step-daughter gave me. After this, I'm going to start tackling my gray Wal-mart bags. After that, I'll do my misc. bags. After that, I'll start on some old clothes for rugs. This will likely take place over the next 2 weeks.

Another rant is that I have to leave again in an hour to pick up stuff from the store... and after that I have to pick up my daughter at some point in time. She gets off at 5:00 but she's going to try to pick up an extra shift.

Oh yes... yet another rant is that I had severely messed up dreams last night. I've been watching wayyyy too much Game of Thrones. I had incestuous dreams, dreams of murder and torture and run of the mill sex dreams. Ugh. Need some happy inputs for a while methinks.

Originally Posted by sefalik

I discovered something new I can do with my stereo. I just played through a bunch of "cat meow" videos on youtube while watching my cat stare into the speaker's soul.

I bet the cat was like this O_O

Originally Posted by Maeni

So basically, what's the point in chat right? lol, i heard people went to skype.....should we do a skype group for DV? Maybe.

Bah! So I crashed before picking up my daughter, I came home and I died again. I slept from 7-2 What the heck? Maybe my weird, previous sleep schedule just knocked me on my butt (sleeping for 4 hours 2-3 times a day) and I'm trying to catch up?

I Googled if vaping an cause anemia. It can. But then I read an article 16 signs of anemia and it doesn't really apply... or it could be attributed to something else (like "anxiety" and shortness of breath: my adrenaline surges and constant yawning are from being without my meds for a few days). My RLS has been much worse. I'm not pale etc. Arg.

I thought it was very interesting though that when people quit smoking, they can become anemic.

Must find food....

Originally Posted by Crashyy

Those beaches look absolutely amazing. Do you live close to them?

And about the pictures I used. The first one is a picture of St Kilda's beach and the second one is called Elwood beach? I'm not completely sure though.
But I think that's what they're called.

I thought it was St Kilda. That's in Melbourne, not Sydney lol (I think you said they were Sydney beaches anyway).
There are a lot of beaches there. Some are quite nice, I went with my ex to one near there, and also Lankan girl.
The one with my ex was better, it's got this long pile of rocks about 500 metres out in to the ocean.

Oh and yeah, I live close to those, sort of. About 2.5 hour drive, but we have a little house up there very close to them as well.

Originally Posted by Dianeva

This might be one of my favourite posts from you ever.

I have trouble not caring what people think of me. Even to get to the level you are would be incredible. I've gotten used to trying pretty much all the time. I feel confident in a way, I even act in my head like I'm confident. But the nervousness is always there, even knowing it's irrational.

I'm kind of similar in the way that I worry people think I don't like them. Definitely not exactly the same as you. For me I think I'm so nervous about everything, I think so much into what I'm going to say, that the whole thing is just stressful. If someone tries to talk to me, I can't relax, even though I'm trying to look like I'm relaxed. The best I can do is like... force out a casual voice, and obviously there are microexpressions and stuff showing how nervous I really am, and they pick up on that and think I'm really intense or something. Just like... the opposite of someone you can relax around. Of course I have no idea if that's really the impression I give off. It's possible no one thinks anything of me, and that's how most conversations go, and the reason I can never hold a conversation longer than a few minutes is something else.

Hehe.

Yeah dw about that. It's how I was too. Just keep pretending to be confident and most importantly, adopt a confident posture.
Look up what a confident posture is like. Although it's kind of obvious, but there are some things which aren't. And you have to practice it.
Just keep doing what you're doing, along with the posture. "Fake it 'til you make it" works.
You won't really notice it either, until you look back one day.
Same as practicing anything else.

Originally Posted by NewArtemis

Australia would be one of my choices in places I want to live, but it seems like kind of a nanny state (no offense or anything). Not that the US isn't all up in our business, just... less so.

Yeah it totally is these days. Maybe a poor choice of words, but I wouldn't say the U.S is less up in your business. You've got the TSA and the NSA (someone there is totally reading this post right now lol). Of course our governments are participating in the NSA stuff too.
But I mean New York banned e-cigs and large soft drinks....
It's kinda the same here. Some states are way more nanny-ish than others.
If you move to somewhere like Nimbin, the cops don't even bother going in to the town. Everybody smokes weed, sells weed, grows weed.... they have a yearly festival called Mardi Grass (goddamn stoners haha) and the cops just sit outside of the town to catch people taking weed/seeds/other drugs etc. with them.
And last month, as I mentioned a while ago, we had MASSIVE protests against the current government. Over 100,000 people, which for a population of around 22 million is quite good, relatively.
So everyone's not so cool with that nanny state bullshit and taking away our rights.
I have faith we will get better, we've got several 3rd parties with seats in the senate. The push for third parties is so strong that the current government urged people to not vote third party because it "just muddles things up" or something to that effect. What a desperate, pathetic last breath lol

Originally Posted by hathor28

Closest beach from me, Sugar beach and Sunnyside. But don't trust the water...it's actually a lake. :\ and look at us comparing beaches
14_canadas_sugar_beach_1.jpgcafe01.jpg

That second one looks really nice.

Originally Posted by hathor28

So basically, what's the point in chat right? lol, i heard people went to skype.....should we do a skype group for DV? Maybe.

Yeah, there is one, Anju mentioned the group one or two pages ago.

I've started a new fantasy story which I'm keeping pretty simple, with a very obtainable goal for a novella. It has an open ending in mind setting gear for a series but with a straight forward conflict, resolution and epiphany. Now the ever more laborious art of expanding it.

Did the original Reece's peanut butter cups shrink or did I just grow?