Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

My legs hurt.

So I've been pretty content being single the last few years, especially now while I'm so busy at work and school. But I'll graduate soon, and I'd like to try dating again. Problem is, I don't even know how? I met my ex through a friend, but nowadays I don't even really have any friends outside of work or school, and those aren't close friends. And even there--how do you make just plain old friends? People I knew from high school have all went their separate ways, and out of the 6 people in my class at school, I don't see any of them remaining close friends after graduation. I'm always able to be friendly and whatnot to strangers, but how do you actually make new friends?

Then there's the whole phone thing. I have one, but it hasn't been turned on since September (that's when the charger broke). It's an extremely basic phone that I never use anyway, because I have a computer and landline. When I was buying weed, I at least used it then, but now I'll get maybe one text message every several months. But according to a google search, it seems the majority of women won't even consider dating a man today if he doesn't use a cellphone. And isn't that the first step anyway? I guess you don't ask a stranger to go out for breakfast of dinner, but you're expected to only ask their phone number. I just don't like the expectancy of constant communication that comes with carrying a cell phone. Sometimes I just want to be by myself?


Bah, the struggles of being an introvert. In reality, I really like who I am and my lifestyle, but how do I find people that understand and accept this for when I do feel like stepping out of my shell and actually socializing for a little bit?

Originally Posted by sefalik

So I've been pretty content being single the last few years, especially now while I'm so busy at work and school. But I'll graduate soon, and I'd like to try dating again. Problem is, I don't even know how? I met my ex through a friend, but nowadays I don't even really have any friends outside of work or school, and those aren't close friends. And even there--how do you make just plain old friends? People I knew from high school have all went their separate ways, and out of the 6 people in my class at school, I don't see any of them remaining close friends after graduation. I'm always able to be friendly and whatnot to strangers, but how do you actually make new friends?

Then there's the whole phone thing. I have one, but it hasn't been turned on since September (that's when the charger broke). It's an extremely basic phone that I never use anyway, because I have a computer and landline. When I was buying weed, I at least used it then, but now I'll get maybe one text message every several months. But according to a google search, it seems the majority of women won't even consider dating a man today if he doesn't use a cellphone. And isn't that the first step anyway? I guess you don't ask a stranger to go out for breakfast of dinner, but you're expected to only ask their phone number. I just don't like the expectancy of constant communication that comes with carrying a cell phone. Sometimes I just want to be by myself?


Bah, the struggles of being an introvert. In reality, I really like who I am and my lifestyle, but how do I find people that understand and accept this for when I do feel like stepping out of my shell and actually socializing for a little bit?

This might just be random noise rather than me adding on to what you mentioned, but:

I’ve noticed a lot of people who are in relationships in college tend to want to get engaged soon after they graduate, or at least one person graduates, and the other is still on their path to achieving the same thing. It seems pragmatic at first to have the relationship hinged on people with similar end goals, but after all the sensational hype of showing those pictures on Facebook, and other social medias, the moment they’re absolved from that interaction, they’re forced to have to acknowledge how they can assess their lives together.

There seems to be this sense of apprehension they have, and to fill the gap, they continue structuring this persona online, and seeking validation once more while behind the mask, they’re trying to reconcile the infantile relationship. In other words, I guess compared to them, you had the mental fortitude to be close to graduation without relying on anyone other than yourself. And maybe, you recorded some dreams of yours every now and then, and maybe you would agree that our dreams are the perfect virtual, experiential reality to dive into our cognition, and figure ourselves out day-to-day.

And eventually, the more we know about ourselves in our dreams, and integrate those experiential fallbacks as to how we can apply ourselves in life, it’s probably just a matter of finding a person that wants to grow with you, and I’m just saying this because I asked a girl what her New Year’s resolution was.

She mentioned that she didn’t think about it as much, and instead of just immediately telling her what mine were, I just analyzed how she probably thinks her life is a blank canvas, and mentioned how interesting that was because she didn’t seem to be that type of person, which probably got her thinking. After I told her my ambitions for the future, and mentioned how because she’s the type of person to fight for a better future, which was the case, I gave the assurance that she can reach it as well when she made a bet that I can accomplish mine as well. But it wasn’t done in a friend-zone type of way, as there were romantic connotations during our experiences with each other.

I noticed a few hours after, I guess what I stated to her made her speculate things, and she found out the type of person she wanted to be with, which matched mine as well; she prefers someone she can grow with rather someone that has all the end goals accomplished that they went through trials and tribulations for, because there would obviously be no point in her milking any kind of learning experience with that person who already seems at ease with themselves, and probably wouldn’t be patient enough in her own progressive learning curve with life.

It made me realized that I was undermining myself all the time before with other women. I was afraid that opening myself up more than just that interview mode of questioning to know them better would lead to them just wanting to be friends. But, just knowing how to make them feel a certain way with certain contexts (e.g. childhood memories, likes, etc.) to solidify an emotional connection, and showing that you want to be self-sufficient with clear goals in mind that isn’t hinged on having to love someone deeply probably made me more attractive in their eyes. She’s been gawking at me any chance she gets, and I naturally reciprocate while remaining appropriate in the work environment we’re in, but like what you mentioned with the phone, I’ve been doing a little bit of that along with any face-to-face interaction I can have with her.

I noticed she’s being more assertive, and wanting to show the obvious signs, and I guess it’s just a matter of me just asking her to hang out sometime. I think for me, one of the environments where the perfect stranger can be someone more than that are probably entry-level jobs where women are on a path in life, but understand they need some kind of income to supplement that while trying to conquer the apprehension. Everyone seems to be on the same page when they’re in that environment, and those break room talks where people can get philosophical and deep with their future is a chance for something else to blossom.

I was glad that I laid off of college for a few years, and tried to understand myself day-to-day in this life and my dreaming experiences, because it became easier to tell any woman that I would be interested with of what I wanted to do, and show them that I can be a partner that they can grow with. And finding a woman that’s patient, and is realistic that there is apprehension and strife in life, but is willing to fight for a better future, and has some structure is the type of woman I want to be with.

I used to try to solve everything in their lives, but never exposed myself of my own problems to them, which is probably why I gave off a nice guy disposition, and that led to so many impasses. Now, that “bad guy” persona that seemed so convoluted to me before is simply someone that understands shit just happens, but they’re still trying, and when a woman sees that, and they acknowledge that, they would naturally want to help improve that person’s life. So for me, it was lack of communication on my end when it was me being one sided, and calculating all of a person’s psyche without opening myself up to them as well to where the feelings were mutual.

But that’s just me.

Originally Posted by sefalik

So I've been pretty content being single the last few years, especially now while I'm so busy at work and school. But I'll graduate soon, and I'd like to try dating again. Problem is, I don't even know how? I met my ex through a friend, but nowadays I don't even really have any friends outside of work or school, and those aren't close friends. And even there--how do you make just plain old friends? People I knew from high school have all went their separate ways, and out of the 6 people in my class at school, I don't see any of them remaining close friends after graduation. I'm always able to be friendly and whatnot to strangers, but how do you actually make new friends?

Then there's the whole phone thing. I have one, but it hasn't been turned on since September (that's when the charger broke). It's an extremely basic phone that I never use anyway, because I have a computer and landline. When I was buying weed, I at least used it then, but now I'll get maybe one text message every several months. But according to a google search, it seems the majority of women won't even consider dating a man today if he doesn't use a cellphone. And isn't that the first step anyway? I guess you don't ask a stranger to go out for breakfast of dinner, but you're expected to only ask their phone number. I just don't like the expectancy of constant communication that comes with carrying a cell phone. Sometimes I just want to be by myself?


Bah, the struggles of being an introvert. In reality, I really like who I am and my lifestyle, but how do I find people that understand and accept this for when I do feel like stepping out of my shell and actually socializing for a little bit?

You can use okcupid for finding new friends! I've met a couple cool people I would otherwise have never met on there.

Originally Posted by sefalik

Bah, the struggles of being an introvert. In reality, I really like who I am and my lifestyle, but how do I find people that understand and accept this for when I [do] [/I]feel like stepping out of my shell and actually socializing for a little bit?

With most of the women in my life (many) It seems stupidity had most to do with it...Maybe a hundred or so just started after seeing them in the same place for a few times and turning to me and saying "WTF, don't men ever make the first move?" and a few minutes later were in bed which is by far the fastest way to get to know someone ...Actually nobody ever really understands women.
Just remember they are all crazy and likely want the same thing you want.

So much to accomplish. So little time.

Um ok everything seems complicated to me. Some people are so analytical, I have trouble remembering to buy milk.

Rant:
On that topic, I live in London, England i'm hoping its different, elsewhere in the world. I find it so weird, I go to the shops, a supermarket there must be hundreds of people in there, in close proximity. There is less noise than in a Library or church. Nobody talking. I say hello to the checkout person, they look at me surprised. I go out into a shopping centre, again hundreds of people, not a sound. Help! Help! The walking dead are here. But they don't eat you, just ignore you. In London if you say hello to a stranger, mostly they think your mad. Please tell me its a parallel universe. Find me a portal pronto!

That sound so strange! Where I live people are loud. I there's noises all the time in the streets, peoples talking on their phones or together, people trying to give you pamphlets and stuff like that. It's exhausting. At least I live in the suburbs.

Originally Posted by MeohMyoh

Um ok everything seems complicated to me. Some people are so analytical, I have trouble remembering to buy milk.

Rant:
On that topic, I live in London, England i'm hoping its different, elsewhere in the world. I find it so weird, I go to the shops, a supermarket there must be hundreds of people in there, in close proximity. There is less noise than in a Library or church. Nobody talking. I say hello to the checkout person, they look at me surprised. I go out into a shopping centre, again hundreds of people, not a sound. Help! Help! The walking dead are here. But they don't eat you, just ignore you. In London if you say hello to a stranger, mostly they think your mad. Please tell me its a parallel universe. Find me a portal pronto!

Maybe it is a parallel universe , Tried an RC yet? It could be y'know. (There I go again, see what I mean?) I cant get away from American slang no matter what I do.. I think that was my drawing card when I was in London, I was there once in uniform about 13 years after of the war. Quickly I was drunk with a gaggle of hookers and woke up with a new girlfriend (Actually an Icelandic tourist)
I went back again in the 60's on my way to Norway in civilian dress with about the same results then after the invention of transatlantic jet airplanes I didn't have to stop there anymore (Dammit)
But everywhere in the world people are weird..There are so many places in this country alone that people can live in rows of fenced in houses their entire lives and not know who lives next door, many reasons for this, The Yuppification of America is just one. The Class War I think is world wide.
Each placing their useless existence above the other and so they never know anybody they see every day.
Then on the other side, They really could be Zombies, "The walking dead really are here. But they don't eat you" Of course, It's the Un-dead that eat you..
Could be your'e getting Old, Fat and wimpy like me ..(I doubt it)
Prolly just hanging with a wrong class of people.
I say if they don't like me the way I am that's fine with me, Or as it says in my signature below"

Originally Posted by sefalik

So I've been pretty content being single the last few years

Just remember that they should be so lucky as to have a man such as you! I will be your friend. I've myself really just acclimated to the essential nature of my belly man. There is nothing wrong with taking it as it comes, in any way you wish. Perhaps your type is "char broiled", perchance it is "grilled", I am but an introvert myself. Solitude is a beautiful thing. There I accept of your nature the beauty that lies beneath those broins. There is nothing equivocal about the way in which you provide the touch.


"The lengths we go, to not lie alone at night".

Originally Posted by RelaxAndDream

go for a holiday with friends. i was at an island for christmas and new year last year. was the best christmas and ne years i had so far. no traditions no obligations etc. just you and some friends with some good food and sun on your belly

That "friends" part.... it's a problem....
But seriously my only good friend has knocked some chick up so he has no time to do stuff anymore.

Originally Posted by woblybil

I saw it last night on Christmas eve in NY. Of course it's the first time in years we could even see the sky on Christmas eve in NY.. I'll take anybody's global warming that wants to get rid of it, Wearing Shorts on Christmas Day is the best Christmas present ever

Come to Aus mate, 40 degrees (celsius) on Christmas. Was great.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

I used to try to solve everything in their lives, but never exposed myself of my own problems to them, which is probably why I gave off a nice guy disposition, and that led to so many impasses. Now, that “bad guy” persona that seemed so convoluted to me before is simply someone that understands shit just happens, but they’re still trying, and when a woman sees that, and they acknowledge that, they would naturally want to help improve that person’s life. So for me, it was lack of communication on my end when it was me being one sided, and calculating all of a person’s psyche without opening myself up to them as well to where the feelings were mutual.

But that’s just me.

Mate I just realised this exact thing recently. Even people I consider pretty damn good friends don't know shit about me!
This was also the reason my friendships in highschool sucked and I eventually had nothing to talk about and didn't enjoy the times we had.
I had very little in common with them but never knew it because I thought about them instead of myself.

If your entire interaction with someone ends up being about them/their problems, they don't see you as a person. Just a way to help themselves.

I used to pride myself on it because it is very easy to help people with most problems, it's just that "when you're in it it's too hard to see" as Eminem said.
So true, and I couldn't even see what my own problem was, let alone a way out.

Anyway, fuck yeah, good post mate. People can only like you if you make them realise you're a person with a life and interests etc. So damn obvious.

Hit and run post here...
Rant: I was shaving my legs while sleepy. I use my fingers as a guide to find stubble and I was out of sync or something and ended up nicking my fingernail. I keep my nails so short there's hardly any nail. I went to sleep and the nick bothered me so much that I tried to file it, in my sleep, with my teeth. Of course, I'd catch the jab and wake up in pain. I eventually got up and put a bandaid over it. I still have no idea what it looks like lol

Hubby and I are going the Farm. Then we need to change my car's headlight so I can get it inspected. Need to return the internet modem because we finally upgraded before the holidays...

all around. Make a proper post later.

Originally Posted by MeohMyoh

Um ok everything seems complicated to me. Some people are so analytical, I have trouble remembering to buy milk.

Rant:
On that topic, I live in London, England i'm hoping its different, elsewhere in the world. I find it so weird, I go to the shops, a supermarket there must be hundreds of people in there, in close proximity. There is less noise than in a Library or church. Nobody talking. I say hello to the checkout person, they look at me surprised. I go out into a shopping centre, again hundreds of people, not a sound. Help! Help! The walking dead are here. But they don't eat you, just ignore you. In London if you say hello to a stranger, mostly they think your mad. Please tell me its a parallel universe. Find me a portal pronto!

On that topic as well, I frequently try to make small talk randomly. Like when I'm picking up my milk, just like you. I'll say hi to the cashier, sometimes flirt a bit. Sometimes I give a bit of shit if it's a guy working. Most of the time they respond well, but some people really aren't up to it. You can do this anywhere, and I think everyone should do this at least once a day. Just say the most stupid thing that first comes up in your mind, it's not scary and it is funny. Good luck finding that portal! lol

So yeah, I barely come on here anymore but I felt the need to express some of the good feelings. Things have been going well lately, I'm really taking care of myself much better and I'm growing up a lot. Not just mentally, also physically. In the sense that I am becoming much more responsible with my hobbies, my studies and my interests. I'm gaining a lot of muscle mass lately, I'm reading a lot, I'm accomplishing my goals and my study is going better than ever. I'm getting the highest grades of the class, sometimes even having the highest score. So that sounds good... right? It is, but it's not the freedom I am looking for... it's close, but it's not quite there yet. There is something more, but I don't know what. Some things are calling me, but I can't express myself in those ways due to the limitations in my life right now. Anyway, I will get at that point soon. I'll have money, a job, more friends and of course a harem haha.

That's really most of the things happening right now. Life is good, on the flipside. Peace to all who took the time to read this, and especially to the ones who didn't. They might need it the most.

Hey Tommo and Zhaylin, cool to see you two still hang out here. Still always ranting and raving, crying and complaining.

Hope you are hitting up some quality women Tommo, I remember you having a hard time with that. Knock 'em up mate, sweep them off their feet. Be a hustler.
Zhaylin hope you are doing well with the stresses of life and the extended amount of sleep you always have. Are you still on medicine? I heard getting laid regularly works better than any medicine. But on a serious note, hope you are doing well.

*glomp* Athylus! Nice to see you sneak back in here. Get laid, you say? It's been what, at least 6 years now Medication it shall be then
Thanks for sharing the update and good vibes.
Life is fairly well. I mostly have just little grumbles (like this stupid upper eyelid twitch I've had for THREE stinking days now )
Don't be such a stranger

I live in a small town of 5,639 people and it's BUSY. My eldest always complains because whenever we shop during the day, people park their carts in the middle of the walkways so they can chat... usually with neighbors they see frequently
Maybe that's the joy of a small town though. I talk to the Greeters, store clerks, cashiers, janitors............ I'm almost always smiling and approachable. I make eye contact.
I'm an introvert but I feel it's sort of my duty to brighten the days of others- if only a smidgen. It costs nothing to be pleasant.
That said, I sometimes just don't have it in me. I'll take a different path, a different register or avoid a store altogether if I'm feeling especially antisocial. I'm good for about 3-6 minutes worth of small talk before I fizzle out and get uncomfortable

The power company shut off the electric to the Farm because everything's been turned off for 6-12 months. And now we have a gated fence up so they can't easily get to the property either. Hubby raced over there today to turn things on before they shut it off, but the company beat us. I don't understand what the big deal is. Hubby said it would cost $50. to have it turned back on. He spends at least $5. a month on power even with everything turned off. He's saving money in the long run

A rave is I am loving my game. I finally got into mining, so I'm making an awesome mine beneath the bunker I found.

And now my dog is annoying me, so I'm going to go get in bed so she'll leave me alone lol

Hope everyone is well.

Mighty kitty is mighty clingy. I can't do anything without him butting in and putting his tiny paws all over my stuff, all while purring loudly because we're together yaaaaay.
Mighty kitty doesn't let me boop his nose. It's the worse crime ever and I should be ashamed.
I feel like there's some injustice going on here.

Give mighty kitty some extra love

My new rant is that I have an infuriating tune stuck in my head. I *think* it's a theme song from some old tv show... not Sanford and Son... not Pink Panther (but close-ish). I have it stuck as a whistle but it could be an instrumental that my brain just wired as a whistle. It's been stuck in my brain for a week. I can't place it and it's driving me batty! YouTube and Google are failing me
Time to put it out of my head and distract myself with my game

Hope everyone's having a great day.

It's so cold here.

A lot of talk about friends. I'm a person who doesn't enjoy others knowing about me, and all the people acquainted with me now hardly know anything about me. I don't know how to describe it; the thought of socializing and having this other person regularly interact and know me just irks me. Probably because I can't see myself being anyone's best friend around here.

Also, I have quite a bit of work to do this month. I should be starting now. Help.

Trying to better my life. Found a website called skillsyouneed.com its about life skills. also I uploaded a track using my new music equipment. Check it out if you'd like. https://soundcloud.com/oneiroer/peac...in-the-silence and if you do could you tell me what you think? Also going to try to start meditating for lucid dreaming.

I sometimes have a strong desire to express myself but by the time i log on the desire often fades away.


Oh and i got a new computer. So far so good.

Maybe the western states will secede.

Love your music, Oneiroer! My only complaint is......




... there's not enough of it

to all.
Grats on the new computer, Tropical.

Raves all around today... saw my p-doc; dropped off that modem; stopped at the Salvation Army to see if they still had a PC game (MySims) that my daughter told me about a week ago and they still had it ; stopped at a new Craft Barn and talked to the owners bought a couple of things; came home and ate some Summer Sausage, cheese, crackers and mustard :cloud9:
Now I'm about to go kill some zombies and work on my mine some more.

Later tonight, I'll go to the store but for now all is quiet and peaceful

Wow... it's been really quiet here

Nothing new happening here.
Yet I STILL have that tune stuck in my head.
Vocaroo | Voice message
Ignore the wind noise. Can't figure out what's causing it.
Anyone have any clue what that tune is from?

It's driving me mad

Rant: Have to be up by 11AM tomorrow. Hubby's going to change out my headlight. We never did get around to it on the 3rd. I don't dare drive my vehicle until I get a new inspection sticker.
Rant/Rave: My itchy finger drove me bananas to the point I broke down and cut it. I have 2 noticeable "X"'s but it didn't bleed. The skin is weird there. It's calloused from always scratching it. The rave is that the cutting helped immensely.

Rave: Kids just went to the store. They're buying me some more bruchetta panino (sp!!!!! ). I love that stuff. After I eat, I may finally be able to sleep.

Hope everyone is well.