Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

*ECHO... Echo... echo...*

Rant: If you walk past him without giving him any love, he attacks your legs. He's my new favorite lol. Such a turd and full of personality.

I have one of those attack cats too...A year old fixed grey tiger. She attacks my legs out of nowhere and in the dark damn near knocks me down, In fact there she is now Lurking, Crouching around a corner with only her ears showing waiting for me to move

lol, rotten animals... gotta love them
My new saying is "beware the Boyoh"

New rave: It's going to be freezing all week. Having no heat it means I can eat cereal this week I can leave a gallon of milk outside. Heck, I could probably leave it just outside my room (space heater heated). I LOVE cereal. Not having a fridge really sucks sometimes. I'm going to see if Paula can truly buy me a small one through her work for $20. Then, perhaps, I could live on more than chips, slim Jims and fast food.

Ray and Miley share a small fridge (dorm room size with the worlds teensiest freezer). They keep their stuff and one 16 oz bottle of coke (for me) in it. Paula and Destinee have an even smaller fridge. The size they use would be perfect for my needs.

Another rave is that I successfully had my car inspected. Don't have to worry about it til next year now.

Rant: I still have that kink in my neck; that tune in my head; and as much as I'm looking forward to having cereal, I don't really want to venture out into the cold to go to the store tonight.
I think I'm free and clear of all other obligations this week though (took people to appointments before and after car inspection. I didn't even get to sleep until after noon-6PM)

Life is good. Hope everyone is doing great.

**EDIT**
Rant/rave: Bought some dog nail clippers tonight and tackled my huge whiner dog. I had Sis come into my room and bribe her (the entire time) with treats and petting. It was still so friggin difficult to get her to cooperate. Big baby. Her nails were getting so long they were starting to look deformed, so I said enough is enough. I thought about taping her muzzle shut so she wouldn't snap/bite, but it never came to that. She just kept turning away to face the wall. Then she ate the clippings before I could throw them away. Oooookay. Weirdo.
I got 1 1/2 paws clipped- the worst of the worst. Figured it was enough stress for one day. I'll tackle the rest next week.

People advise to hold their paws and talk soothingly to them. She has never let us touch her feet. She doesn't like them held or pet even at the best of times.

Rave: a dog groomer is opening up down the road from us. I don't know the timeline but I'll definitely have to check in with them!
Rant: one trip to the store and I'm broke. I didn't even get any e-juice this week I had to get cleaning supplies, cranberry pills and the car inspected. Gah!
We'll probably be losing water soon, so I told the kids it's time to get some cleaning done.

I hate how even though it has gotten me in trouble for many years now, I still end out saying stuff about myself that I knew I shouldn't due to getting discriminated and bullied...But it just slips out and I won't realize till after the fact... -_- It ruins me.

I also hate telling people something about myself and after they sit and laugh it up with each other in my presence for a good minute, those same individuals turn around talking to me normally as if nothing happened. It's utterly rude and makes me want to vomit.

And the same crud I dealt with today from my mother telling me how worthless I am and threatening me that she's going to kick me out of the house. Also stating that everything I do is my fault and wrong.

I wanna go on a massive rant but I'll keep it short

So the doctors finally found out specifically what kind of infection I have, and they gave me the right medication this time. BUT GUESS WHAT, they didn't work. So now I've been ill for two whole weeks because of the side effects all for nothing. But they made an appointment at the hospital again, so we'll see how that goes. And now I'm so much behind with school work, which is stressing me out. And to make things even more frustrating, I just found out that this girl wants to do me, like apparently she has a huge crush on me. But she's too shy to flirt and to meet up. So I really wanna meet up with her because I've always kinda liked her. But no my infection is getting in the way of that

But I passed my driving test today, so at least there's still some good things happening in my life

I've heard it said that if you find someone annoying or aggravating, it's because they exemplify something about yourself that you don't like.

But for the life of me, I can't figure it out. There's one guy in a class... he's intelligent enough and does well, but hot damn is he annoying. He's an arrogant know-it-all, and he wants everyone to know this. He butts into conversations to show off this 'knowledge,' and complains about everything. One of the things he complains about is how rough life is... the kid is maybe 23-years old. I say kid--yes, I'm a kid as well--but he lives with his parents, hasn't been able to hold a job for more than a month, and has nearly failed every semester for just not showing up to class (this isn't a normal college--attendance is part of the overall grade). And he qualified for all sorts of government and state grades. Meanwhile, I've been working in a factory since I was 18, continue working nights full time while also going to school full time, and on top of this I still manage to actually take care of myself by going to the gym 2-3 times a week and cooking/preparing food in advance. I don't have time to play video games and smoke weed all day like him. Is that it--am I just jealous?

Sorry, Mobian, that you have to put up with people who treat you so terribly.

Crashyy. Gah! Those Docs need to get it together already... and your body needs to stop being so doggone uncooperative!
Grats on passing your test

I don't know, Sefalik. He sounds like an entitled arse. Maybe you're a tad envious, but those types of people tend to grate everyone wrong.

My rant-ish: Last night I rediscovered a funny fact about myself. If you tie up my hands, I wouldn't be able to talk Paula and Ray called me back to talk religion. I stood up for close to 2 hours, discussing things with them (Destinee just wanted all of us to shut up lol and had little to say). Then Miley came out and joined in but was so disrespectful and combative that I finally took my leave. My feet were freezing and I had been shivering for some time, but I ignored it while the talk was pleasant.
ANYHOW... ugh! Why do I have to move my hands and arms (hehehe, heck, my entire BODY) when I talk? I kept telling myself to reel it in, but I just couldn't. It's very annoying and makes me look manic or something.

Today, I was lurking around on a tulpa site that I formally used to go on before everyone basically made fun and sent me hate messages in pm for my love of Shadow the Hedgehog. This is not a new thing for me though since I've dealt with this kind of treatment before.

The main reason why I am upset is, while lurking I saw someone else who seemingly is know for having a loving wife-husband/host-tulpa kind of relationship with their non-physical partner and them not receiving the same treatment that I did (at least not anymore). The feeling of jealousy and rage fueled my insides and also a bit of depression. Perhaps the people just didn't agree with someone being in love with a non-human video game character, but if they are human with no affiliation to any sort of media then it's fine?

Seeing how people were so 'tolerant' and 'interested' with the person had very much killed me inside, especially when they stated that they were "enlightened" by it. It feels like I have some sort of bad omen shrouding me that whatever I do doesn't matter, people will just continue to find ways to hate me for some reason.

I do feel utterly disgusted with myself for actually caring about what happened. Almost childish since I knew I shouldn't bother with things like that nor should I be lurking around on that site...but sometimes temptation gets the better of me. Then there is the part of me that wants to just keep my multiverse lifestyle hidden, since I don't feel that this generation of humanity can ever accept it. I want to learn how to not worry about "reaching out to others" (stated by a close friend of this physical world) and care about myself and those I love, then I wouldn't care so much about what people thought about me nor looking to be accepted by those who don't matter to me. But my mind seems to not get it and I end up having my emotions get the better of me.

Sorry for the deep train of thought right here.

Originally Posted by MobianAngel

Sorry for the deep train of thought right here.

There will be favoritism, elitism, and other sorts of in-group biases in those types of forums, but my reason for leaving one akin to that is simply because people weren’t into questioning, and objectifying the concept for the sake of learning. At the end of the day, your self-progression with whoever you revel with in your mind, dreaming or in waking life, doesn’t have to be hinged on social acceptance from others over the type of relationship you find flourishing.

This forum is pretty much the same when it comes to concepts, thoughtforms, and what have you, albeit people fixate more on dreaming experiences, and potentially other metaphysical endeavors as well. Other forums that focus more on cultivating a thoughtform through waking life will tend to cling onto day-to-day experiences, and not have emotional understanding of themselves through another type of shift in awareness (e.g. dreaming). So, it’s natural for them to have convoluted views on who’s doing what in their head. People have preferences over certain dream journals because it captivates them in context of how the experiences of the dreamer seems so surreal, enriching, and profound in some way, and yet deter from others that may have similar experiences for “reasons.”

But in this circumstance, the dreamer doesn’t have to have their flourishing with dreaming be hinged on who reads their journal more, or less than others. So, maybe just coming to terms with appreciating your own self-progression, and internal private experience is what’s always at your beck and call. I think maybe when one realizes that, and looks at the favoritism of other sites where people have their own internal, private experiences with their imagination, they’ll feel deep sonder over that, i.e., how someone is living in their own horizon of reality that they can’t go in and skew around with.

And maybe, there may be an appreciation for who they are vs. who you want them to be (e.g. being gregarious with you even though they have a negative bias towards you). It seems you can reign in your sense of self while those in that type of forum are too busy distracting themselves from really understanding what they’re getting into, I guess. I think as long as one has that reigning over their sense of self, and can stay on that path, then it doesn’t really matter what people think of them.



Rant:

Corporate leaders are coming today, and I have an appointment to go to prior to that. They told us to bring in our A game, but the last time I tried that, I made a co-worker cry. And the worst part, I didn't even say anything to her!

Rave:

Two days off after today, though, which means I can get back into studying more anatomy! And, I'm close to breaking into the 220s in my weight.

Classroom aren't heated, so I'm getting sick again. Fuck.

@Milly nooooooooooo, just sneak ur cat in

@LinkZ sorry but your rant was just to funny for words, what was your A game!? and Congrats on nearing your goal u is supremo

@MobianAngel it is perfectly normal to feel hurt, when you'd opened up that way, but not everyone is as closed as them, talk to people here instead
(me n milly have tulpa, so feel free to chat if you like)

@Zhaylin its called being expressive and connecting with your emotions, its not a bad thing, so just rewind and continue

Rant: life has been making me to tired to even go on here and rant waaaaaaaaaaa, miss you people :/

Originally Posted by MobianAngel

Perhaps the people just didn't agree with someone being in love with a non-human video game character, but if they are human with no affiliation to any sort of media then it's fine?

then I wouldn't care so much about what people thought about me nor looking to be accepted by those who don't matter to me. But my mind seems to not get it and I end up having my emotions get the better of me.

You might read my signature below

Nothing like some good old fashioned insomnia to keep you awake when you need to sleep before a 12-hour drive.

Seriously thinking that if I don't fall asleep in the next half hour, I'm just gonna screw it and leave now.

EDIT: Screw it, it ain't happening. Leaving now. FML.

Today was just an utter mess. I'm completely empty with lack of emotion. I'm getting tired of humanity telling me how I should act in according to their "social" standards, telling me this and that isn't allowed & either learn to be normal or leave. I'm tired of being targeted and bullied for stupid ass reasons.

I slept basically all today, I shoved my fiancé's comfort away multiple times yelling at him to go away, cried a bit and slept some more. Earlier after a terrible experience that caused me such dread, I wanted to vomit and I just wanted to be left alone and all my mother could do is yell at me, "Make me coffee! Stop being a whiny bitch!" I then went back and gone to sleep.

All I can do now is think of what I should be doing. I hope whatever decisions I decide will at least provide me with the little thread to still hold onto this crappy and meaningless life that everyone says I should live. I doubt I will be getting lucid tonight after all of this...

Originally Posted by MeohMyoh

@MobianAngel it is perfectly normal to feel hurt, when you'd opened up that way, but not everyone is as closed as them, talk to people here instead
(me n milly have tulpa, so feel free to chat if you like)

You may see a private message from me in the future. Depends on if I really feel like explaining more in depth on what happened today or not. Just..based on your background, you may be able to help me finalize my decision on something.

I did nothing but relax today. I feel rejuvenated.

Meh. Just meh. Everything is meh.

I must do something with my life finally. All my days are the same, boring and unproductive. I'm usually unhappy, I don't see sense in anything, my interests are not fun anymore, I sleep too long, I'm grumpy and I complain a lot (oh, irony). I don't have a job lately, probably I'll have in few months but whatever. That doesn't change anything because I don't know what I want to do so I'll be still upset about this. I was trying to learn something but it's too tiring, I don't have energy for anything. I must force myself to everything. So what if I have to do that for the rest of my life? That's not good. I'm mad at myself. Oh and I have low self-esteem and no friends. And the best part is that I don't even know why is this happens.

*overload*

*too many complaints*

*whatever*

What's worse that passing an exam? passing an exam with a headache. *throw confetti*

for everyone.
I've been feeling antisocial too. Too cold to get out from under the covers But nah, I've actually been gaming and watching tv shows (online)
It's currently -3 F with the wind chill We're *supposed* to get 12-20 inches of snow this weekend. But I'll believe it when I see it. Our town is miraculously positioned, or something, in that most really bad weather passes us on either side.
Our kitchen pipes finally froze. The bathroom is still okay for now. It wont be if these temps keep up much longer.

My rant is that I got a really weird message. It's supposedly from my ex-husband. We've not communicated in a decade or more. He opened the message with "Hey, it's Ray." I never called him Ray. I knew him as "Buddy". He also said he left WV because he thought Jerry (hubby) could provide a better life for me and the kids. Buddy left WV months before I even met Jerry.
But memory is a weird thing.
I wrote back that I was 'suspicious of this message... what's the name I called you by...' but then I went on 'in case this is truly you you were forgiven eons ago'.
The other weird thing is that his last name is GrAy, but the message is from GrEy.
I hope it wasn't him. The message sounded very lost and depressed.

But if it wasn't him, who in the world would be trying to comfort (or scam) me. I made peace with everything a very, very long time ago.

Rant: Can't sleep. That's what I get for not drinking my usual soda and having tea instead
I think I'm also getting sick though. While laying down (though reclined), I kept hacking on phlegm. No issue at all when I'm completely upright.
Another rant is that my e-juice sucks. It was 0mg but I watched the owner add my 12mg nicotine to it. Something messed up though. I'm not feeling it. I didn't shake it well before using though. Probably my error there

Gah! Hubby's going to want to go eat an early lunch and then watch a movie (possibly)... and then Paula wants me to drive to a restaurant where she's going to treat all of us.
But I can't sleep.

It's going to be a very long day.

I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my whole life. On Saturday I'll be meeting my crush for the first time, and we're even gonna spend the night together. Like her best friend invited us to come watch horror movies and eat pizza at her house. So we're both going and because I'm really nervous, I'm going to bring a friend with me. Just so it will be less awkward (he better not steal my girl lol). But I just don't know how to act? Like when we're texting she makes it really obvious that she wants to be cuddled and kissed all the time. But I'm not sure when to do it? Like even though we're really comfortable with each other, it might be different when we meet. And honestly, I'm so afraid that she won't like me anymore once she actually gets to know me. And she's scared of it as well, but I guess we're both just really insecure. Do you guys have any tips on how to make a good first impression? I really like her and I don't want to ruin it by going too fast or even too slow.

Show her to the couch (hope there is one lol) and extend a hand toward it (Ladies first), and when you sit, put your arms out on the back of the couch. if she comes in for the snuggle, you're good to go Just watch her body language. she might be too shy to inch over right away. Just leave your arms out so she sees you're "open". But if she looks uncomfortable, like you're in her bubble, go help with drinks or go to the rest room and then sit down as you normally would.
Grats. Try not to over-stress it and have a good time regardless.

My rave (lol) is that Paula didn't get her tax return today. I went out to lunch with hubby then came home and went to bed for 4 hours.
tomorrow's supposed to be too nasty, weather wise, to go anywhere. If she gets it, I hope she gets it early in the day.
and now Miley just said she has an appointment tomorrow.
well, at least I'll be able to get my fountain drink filled then

The movies were cancelled tonight. The weather isn't even bad right now. The temp's are 19 (from -3) and it's not even snowing. the snow's not supposed to hit until tomorrow night. But that's fine by me. I am NOT a huge Taratinno (sp?!) fan. Hubby wanted to watch the Hateful 8.

I discovered something funny about myself earlier. Hubby and I went to our usual place and I ordered what I always do (grilled cheese). Hubby offered me a bite of his Wrap. I scrinched my nose a little, "buttoned" my lips and shook my head no (my mouth was full). It occurred to me that I always do that. He always offers and I always button my lips and shake my head. I asked myself why and was shown a memory of 2 year olds everywhere. You know, the ones whose parents always complain "Ugh, they wont eat anything EXCEPT ____" It occurred to me that life is, indeed cyclic. I know what I like and don't really want to try anything else.

we eat at that place every Thursday unless something comes up. When we choose our table and sit, the waiter automatically brings us our Mexican Cokes. He asks if we need menus but at this point, we never get one. I always get the grilled cheese and whatever soup of the day they have and hubby gets whatever their special is. so, i'm not completely reverted to childhood. I do try the soup. I get a big bowl every week. But I usually just eat a few bites and bring the rest home to the kids

In weird news, I asked my mom to check on my ex-husband. She said she'll swing by the place he used to live or his parents and make sure all is well.

Y'all are slacking again. Where's all the rants and raves?

I woke up before 1PM to my dog sitting beside my bed staring at me. I don't have a doorknob. I use a sock instead- folding it 3 times and sticking it between the door and the frame. It's worked for years now. Somehow, today, she got it open. I got up to kick her out and a cat ran in. Kicked it out too. Laid back down but dog barked at my door.
*sigh* Okay. I figured she had to go potty.

Opened the front door for her and saw the kids in their car and my hubby walking by with his umbrella open
Dog didn't even go potty.

Came in, killed time, called Miley's Doctor to see if they were closing early today. she wasn't even down for an appointment. Great. I figured it was for the next town over went to wake her up to check.
she wasn't here.
Hubby called. Said the girls shouldn't be out in this weather, that the roads were too bad. But they were gone by that point. With Miley.

Searched for my phone to call Destinee. Found it, called, no answer. Got a call from her wife. They were right down the road. Rolled her car and totaled it Everyone was fine, thankfully.
Picked them up, went out for food and a soda , came home and chilled. Paula decided to go to the ER after all. she can't move her arm. She was suspended in her seat (car on its side) for about 15 minutes, so it's (hopefully) nothing but bruising from the seat belt. But better to be safe than sorry.

It normally takes about 7 minutes to get from the house to the hospital. It took closer to 20 today. Took the interstate instead of the side road and even that was iced over. I had almost zero visibility a few times.
Very, very strange weather. It's 27 F but "feels like" 12. It looks sort of foggy out. THe snow is small and as soon as it hits the windshield it looks like rain.
At these temps, the snow should be bigger and fluffy, not pellets of ice. And what's with the haze?

I am home until they're done. The ER looked fairly empty, so hopefully it wont take too long. The weather's supposed to get much worse.

Stay safe Zhaylin. We love you!

I wish it would snow on my house. It's never snowed on my house. I guess that's what LDing is for.

I really want to transform into a dolphin in my dreams but my dream control is so bad, I can't even ride one. All I've been able to do lately is summon them and watch them swim away. I think I'll try dream incubation tonight. Show my dreams who's boss!

Nighttime has been by far the most exciting time of the day for me. Daytime has been uneventful. Starting Monday, though, I'll be going back to school for another 5-6 years perusing a masters degree in computer science. That will keep me busy!

I HATE my SHITTY INTERNET CONNECTION!

You're a sweety. Thank you, Dolphin
Much success with your dreams and education.

Mobian.

Rave: We are snowed in. We lost power for a few moments (Brown out?) but it kicked right back on after rolling a few times. It is so pretty. Going to have to find some news paper for the dog though. My daughter pushed her outside while I was sleeping and they said she looked like a salmon swimming upstream. The snow covered her and she never did find a place to go potty
We're supposed to get a lot more snow too- up to 30 inches.

rant: I made the kids throw away a trash can full of pizza boxes. If we lose power that would have been perfect fuel for the fireplace We have probably another trashcan's worth of boxes but there's no telling how quickly they'll burn.

I believe in you, electricity. You're too good to fail now