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    Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

    1. #4251
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      More shit happened in today's class, but it was so stressful I reached a point that I knew I was literally going to faint (pounding heart, fading peripheral vision, dizzy, etc) or would have to deal with it somehow. I forced myself to do the latter, forming metaphorical armor so that the teacher's insults didn't hurt me anymore. I then only felt determination and the whole situation just seemed funny, and I could suddenly concentrate on the lecture. I still feel good now. After feeling like crap for so long, not caring about everything again feels so, so amazing.

      Quote Originally Posted by ♥Mark View Post
      Fiddles are violins.
      Fuck, you're right. Thanks.
      I did know that, until a few days ago when my parents and grandmother were discussing it, and my dad asked if fiddles are violins. My mom and grandmother both agreed "no." It had come as a surprise to me. But I'm very glad to hear they really are the same.
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    2. #4252
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      That sounds pretty intense, why/how did the teacher insult you? lol
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    3. #4253
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      When I go back to college in a few days, I'm going to have to ride my bike again, which means I'll probably be sweating like hell in the cold. And you know how you sweat so much that when it dries off, it has that icky feeling to it? And then when you don't dry it up for a long time, salt starts to turn into solid from the sweat and it just feel fucking digusting.

      I hate how my body sweats so easily. If I play Wii Sports or anything for at least 10 minutes, I look like I just tried to have sex for the first time.

      And it's a pain to be conscious on whether or not my pants are wet and worrying if people will see the sweat down there and make snide and funny remarks to augment their egos because they have something to deepthroat in their mouths. I even tried using powder one time, but I guess it's time for me to stop wearing tight pants (I've been wearing the same 2 pairs of pants I had since 9-10th grade in High School, thank goodness I bought bigger sizes.

      sigh...time to go into the pretentious and slutty and gregarious environment of college again...

      And I have to pack again, fuck, I hate packing lol. It always turns out messier than when I left my college apartment.


      More shit happened in today's class, but it was so stressful I reached a point that I knew I was literally going to faint (pounding heart, fading peripheral vision, dizzy, etc) or would have to deal with it somehow. I forced myself to do the latter, forming metaphorical armor so that the teacher's insults didn't hurt me anymore. I then only felt determination and the whole situation just seemed funny, and I could suddenly concentrate on the lecture. I still feel good now. After feeling like crap for so long, not caring about everything again feels so, so amazing.
      Damn Dianeva, here I thought my university/college was horrible...

      It really is hard to ignore what other people say to you, I find it difficult suppressing the false thoughts in my head of what people think of me in college because I'm not with someone as yet.

      I'm glad you found solace through it all, it really is hard doing that.
      Last edited by Linkzelda41; 01-12-2012 at 05:32 AM.
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    4. #4254
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      Quote Originally Posted by Wayfaerer View Post
      That sounds pretty intense, why/how did the teacher insult you? lol
      When class started he asked who hadn't gotten past a certain part in the lab yesterday. Only I and one other person hadn't. When he asked why, I said, "I wasn't exactly sure what to do." He then went on for like 15 minutes about how "that isn't an excuse." I didn't mean for it to be an excuse, I was only answering his question.

      He said stuff like, "this is an advanced class, you aren't children anymore. You can't expect to be spoon-fed in the labs and need to come prepared." It was annoying because, although he had mentioned that we might want to read up on the lab beforehand, I had no idea that I was supposed to spend hours looking up exactly how to do it. Other professors have told me to "read up on the lab before class," but it's never before meant anything other than skimming through it. I had no way of knowing it would be that complicated.

      He said "this is real life, there's only you. You have to figure things out yourself, when you get a job you aren't going to be given clear instructions. You have to say to yourself 'I am a mature student' and do some work.'" What he said makes some sense, there's definitely an advantage to figuring things out for ourselves. But it didn't apply to the situation at all and was complete injustice to say it does. In real life, you at least know what your goal is. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be trying to accomplish, and didn't have enough information to figure it out.

      Mostly I was pissed off because I couldn't stand being judged as some lazy naive idiot who has no idea what real life is. I still think the task he set for us was way too advanced. I've never done anything like it in school before. I might compare it to expecting someone to write a really complicated program in C++ without first even teaching them the basic syntax. He should have taught us some of the stuff involved, and then maybe at the end gotten us to set up the whole OS.

      I enjoy figuring things out on my own, but not knowing what the goal was and not having access to the internet made that impossible. Then later, in the lecture, I was thinking about what he'd said and was getting so pissed off I couldn't concentrate on anything, and was terrified that he was going to call on me to answer something. That's when I felt like I was going to faint and w/e.

      He's just one of those instructors who are really mean. He treats the class like it's CS bootcamp and takes everything way too seriously, and is extremely difficult to be around. Sort of like um.. Professor Snape in Harry Potter, but not exactly. More militant. And Snape has a patheticness about him that this teacher doesn't have.

      I'm actually kind of relieved that he's being mean to me again. He was being too nice before and I felt like I was getting special treatment because of my gender.
      Last edited by Dianeva; 01-12-2012 at 05:36 AM.
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    5. #4255
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      When class started he asked who hadn't gotten past a certain part in the lab yesterday. Only I and one other person hadn't. When he asked why, I said, "I wasn't exactly sure what to do." He then went on for like 15 minutes about how "that isn't an excuse." I didn't mean for it to be an excuse, I was only answering his question.
      LOL, I HATE WHEN TA's and professors tell us that. The biology TA I had, I would always panic on what to do, and when we didn't follow directions, she would sometimes BLAST her rage at me in a non-violent manner. She just had that tone that wanted you to just fucking stuff something inside her mouth.

      He said stuff like, "this is an advanced class, you aren't children anymore. You can't expect to be spoon-fed in the labs and need to come prepared." It was annoying because, although he had mentioned that we might want to read up on the lab beforehand, I had no idea that I was supposed to spend hours looking up exactly how to do it. Other professors have told me to "read up on the lab before class," but it's never before meant anything other than skimming through it. I had no way of knowing it would be that complicated.
      Most of the time when people like him declare that to you, they were victims of it themselves, and they feel better when they have to redirect the humiliation they once felt towards you. It sucks, and that's why I let other people in a group do most of the work while I do the side jobs

      He said "this is real life, there's only you. You have to figure things out yourself, when you get a job you aren't going to be given clear instructions. You have to say to yourself 'I am a mature student' and do some work.'" What he said makes some sense, there's definitely an advantage to figuring things out for ourselves. But it didn't apply to the situation at all and was complete injustice to say it does. In real life, you at least know what your goal is. I didn't even know what I was supposed to be trying to accomplish, and didn't have enough information to figure it out.
      For him to lecture you on that while suggesting that you say you're a mature student seems that he's just forgetting what he said in the first place. What a condescending fuck he is!

      I enjoy figuring things out on my own, but not knowing what the goal was and not having access to the internet made that impossible. Then later, in the lecture, I was thinking about what he'd said and was getting so pissed off I couldn't concentrate on anything, and was terrified that he was going to call on me to answer something. That's when I felt like I was going to faint and w/e.
      I think I know the reason why he's being an ass to you, and you don't deserve that bullshit from him. Do they have teacher's assistants or graduates who take control of the lab section? Because normally it's less of a strain on the professor because they will be responsible of the lectures rather than both.

    6. #4256
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      Sounds like he was just being a dick, I doubt he actually thought you didn't know that. Of course we need to figure stuff out ourselves, but if that's all we're supposed to do then what's school for? lol Help from more experienced people accelerates the process, he seems to just suck at his job lol
      Last edited by Wayfaerer; 01-12-2012 at 05:48 AM.
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    7. #4257
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      Quote Originally Posted by Wayfaerer View Post
      Sounds like he was just being a dick, I doubt he actually thought you didn't know that. Of course we need to figure stuff out ourselves, but if that's all we're supposed to do then what's school for? lol
      It's just to make us feel proud of ourselves that we're learning material to make us turn into the same condescending fucks that are teaching us today. I mean don't get me wrong, professors have their own shit to deal with like grading hundreds, if not thousands of student's papers, even with the help of assistants.

      I hate how that we have to go through college, despite the fact that the status quo really doesn't give a shit about things like that. They expect us to have everything, yet they still want us to be humble and not become assholes because we can get perfect grades ( I mean if you give up learning how to cook to get a perfect GPA, feeling as if we're superior will obviously start to become apparent!) . It doesn't makes us turn into productive citizens! :/

      The traditions of universities is ROTTING I tell you!

      Edit:

      Yeah experienced people help a lot, but be careful to not pick the ones who are too full of themselves, because if you try to prove them wrong...oooh god...it is hell.
      Last edited by Linkzelda41; 01-12-2012 at 05:53 AM.

    8. #4258
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      Quote Originally Posted by Linkzelda41 View Post
      I think I know the reason why he's being an ass to you, and you don't deserve that bullshit from him. Do they have teacher's assistants or graduates who take control of the lab section? Because normally it's less of a strain on the professor because they will be responsible of the lectures rather than both.
      Yeah, there is a TA who teaches the lab section and marks the labs (but the regular instructor still attends them, and I think he comes up with their content).

      EDIT: The TA is similar to the instructor, actually. I guess they get along well. He's an asshole and marks so harshly it's ridiculous. I and others were complaining last semester to another CS teacher about him, and conspiring how to get him fired somehow.

      Quote Originally Posted by Wayfaerer View Post
      Sounds like he was just being a dick, I doubt he actually thought you didn't know that. Of course we need to figure stuff out ourselves, but if that's all we're supposed to do then what's school for? lol Help from more experienced people accelerates the process, he seems to just suck at his job lol
      At the end of the last semester, I'd started to think he wasn't so bad. He's good at lecturing and became nicer. He might just be like this in the very beginning of his courses, perhaps to filter out anyone who isn't serious about it, idk.
      Last edited by Dianeva; 01-12-2012 at 06:00 AM.
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    9. #4259
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      I'm glad I like my teachers, they're probably the closest real life relationships I have here lol.

    10. #4260
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      What do you mean by 'here'?

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      I'm a 6 hour drive away from my hometown lol.

    12. #4262
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      Dianeva. It's great you're being so logical about it. Seeing how you had him before, I guess it's given you somewhat of a baseline. I agree that it sounds like he's just trying to weed out the class. I would say "don't be afraid to talk to him" but I don't know him lol

      My days are running together again. I've been getting 12 hours or so of sleep every day this week, which is a nice change but still irritating. I failed in keeping up with my activity log so I'm going to start it again today. I had one tiny composition notebook, but (????) The ones I've gotten in the past have the pages folded in the center and continue to the back. So if I rip out the first page, a page toward the back of the book falls out. The new one I got doesn't have that and it has more pages, so I thought it would be perfect. NOT the case at all. The pages are glued and fall out after opening it a few times.
      Then I went to a mini spiral notebook, but the spirals get on my last nerve.
      Then I tried removing the pages and sewing them together to make a sturdier version.
      Impossible lol The thread I used was too old and fell apart. Then I went to a wire "thread" used for jewelry making. It would have been perfect, but I'm too impatient and after threading it a few times, it's too tight to thread any more (the holes made by a needle aren't perfectly lined up).

      I tried my new med MINIPRESS lol for the first time last night. I thought I was going to have a heart attack after I took it. I walked a few feet from my desk to my bed and my heart was racing like mad. Once I laid down, I explained to myself the problem was all in my head and I was fine. I fell right to sleep. My dreams were just as great as always, but I didn't wake up as often because of them. BUT, I only had one dose in me. There might need to be a more accumulative effect. We'll see.
      My blood pressure and pulse are great though

      My oldest boy (the only one home now) finally moved the living room into the Master Bedroom. A lot of the stuff that was just taking up space in the bedroom is now in my tiny room I scrubbed a plastic "dresser" and sorted through a bunch of drawers, but I have so much more to do.
      I also have to try to install the heated cord to the pipes today. It's supposed to be 24 degrees tonight and 17 by the weekend.
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    13. #4263
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      It's been above zero degrees here for the past few weeks, which was awesome. Now we're going through a cold spell where the temperature's going to drop to below 30 degrees Celcius... Not cool.
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      We all live in a kind of continuous dream. When we wake, it is because something,
      some event, some pinprick even, disturbs the edges of what we have taken as reality.

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    14. #4264
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      Quote Originally Posted by Puffin View Post
      It's been above zero degrees here for the past few weeks, which was awesome. Now we're going through a cold spell where the temperature's going to drop to below 30 degrees Celcius... Not cool.
      Actually, that's only for today, maybe a bit tomorrow. It's suppose to be very nice this weekend for all of southern Manitoba and Sask.
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      Quote Originally Posted by OldSparta View Post
      Actually, that's only for today, maybe a bit tomorrow. It's suppose to be very nice this weekend for all of southern Manitoba and Sask.
      I heard it was going to go on for a week. o_o Maybe I should switch radio stations.
      We all live in a kind of continuous dream. When we wake, it is because something,
      some event, some pinprick even, disturbs the edges of what we have taken as reality.

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    16. #4266
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      Quote Originally Posted by Puffin View Post
      I heard it was going to go on for a week. o_o Maybe I should switch radio stations.
      It better not.... suddenly I regret not washing my car.

    17. #4267
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      What the hell is up with that professor, Dianeva? People like them seem to forget that teachers are paid to... teach! >.>

      I had a professor like that last semester, only it was for a seminar class and NOT a CS class. I wish it was a CS class, so he wouldn't make us read 80 pages a week. It's like... I have other classes to take too, you know? My life does not revolve around your class! Plus it was supposed to be about "Censorship and Self-Expression" but he made 90% of it about how women used to get screwed over throughout history. We spent weeks on end discussion Joan of Arc. Like... seriously, I sympathize with her but come on! You're not teaching censorship, you're teaching about chauvinism. Two different things. One of the most feminist guys I've ever seen... and of course if you don't do exactly what he wants he tears into you in class, too. On two occasions he pulled my work up on the projector in front of the class and pointed out its flaws... >.<

      Our school is like yours, too... desperately short on women in the CS major. Most of the women at our college are either into Psychology (which makes sense) or Sports Management (...wtf?). All the ones in the CS major (all what, 3 of them now?) are obviously taken. Oh well, it's not like I usually care about having a girlfriend.
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      My dreams are posted here from now on: Into the Depths

    18. #4268
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      I'm carrying a static charge today. I've been shocked at least eleven or twelve times, and I'm listening to music with headphones on and I just touched a blanket with my left hand that was also touching the base of the headphones and the charge went up the cord and shocked me in the ears. Shocked me in the ears.
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    19. #4269
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      I want to take cellphones from little children, throw them on the ground and smash them into little, tiny pieces.
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      Quote Originally Posted by Singularity125 View Post
      he made 90% of it about how women used to get screwed over throughout history. We spent weeks on end discussion Joan of Arc....One of the most feminist guys I've ever seen.


      I spent 3 hours last night trying to not throw up. I then spent 10 minutes throwing up violently.
      Then tried to clear my throat out when I realised it was just my inflamed throat making it feel like stuff was stuck in there.

      Ow....
      Stupid Four and Twenty sausage rolls....

      On the upside I had my first LD in ages about an hour ago

    21. #4271
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      I feel like a bunch of blah, a whole bunch.
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    22. #4272
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      My youngest daughter is very upset. She was caught with "contraband". She claims she got a lighter at the shelter, put it inside her pillow pet and forgot about it until a couple of days ago. She was afraid to tell anyone, but let it slip to a kid who then told on her. The staff ripped her pillow pet in half and now none of the kids are allowed stuffed animals or personal pillows. She failed "level 1". She explained there are six levels and if you do very well, you can get out in as little as 6 months. She's so depressed she didn't even talk to her sister who called her on Monday.
      She wants to run but I'm trying to talk sense into her.
      I'm going to try to go see her on Tuesday. No, I can't TRY, I HAVE to go. It's a 2 hour drive for a 1 hour visit. BUT, my son is in the same town, so perhaps I can schedule a visit with him and save gas.

      I have $14. but no gas. The dogs need food as of tomorrow, my birds will need food by Saturday, and I'm in dire need of WIPES!!! I'm almost out and I need those things more than I need my smokes. Sad, but true.
      I didn't get the heated thing installed- no free plugs- but I did re-insulate the two pipes out there which are supposedly already heated. I also put an insulated sleeve around one of the exposed pipes. I also canceled parenting classes until it's closer time to my daughter coming home. It's a waste of the lady's time when there are no kids here. And it frazzles my nerves.

      If only I could now muster up the strength to finish my bedroom

    23. #4273
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      I keep having extreeemmeee mood changes. Literally hour-to-hour it changes. One second I am super happy, then I become really depressed, then okay, then happy, then depressed. I was forced to go to my friends house the other night because I had no way of getting home from somewhere, and all my other friends were there too (which is only like, 4 people) but they were all having a good time and I was really depressed feeling all of a sudden so I got 2 blankets and completely covered myself, then proceeded to lay on the floor motionless for an hour >_> (lol xD) then after that everyone was like "wtf" so I got up and was bleh, then I became okay and it was all good. Ugh I hate it so mucchhh. I just get these haunting feelings in my heart and I feel like i'm completely shrouded in depression. Then i become all giggly then hopeless again, grrrr. Oh well, at least its snowy, cold and bitter outside.
      Last edited by Erii; 01-13-2012 at 02:26 AM.
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      From my rotting body,
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    24. #4274
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      Snowy cold and bitter is good when you're depressed lol Kind of comforting, I guess?

      Just looked in the mirror before and realised I have burst blood vessels all around my face, under and above my left eye is extremely apparent, looks like I have been punched.

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      Quote Originally Posted by tommo View Post
      Snowy cold and bitter is good when you're depressed lol Kind of comforting, I guess?
      yeah xD I like that kind of weather anyway though n__n
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      From my rotting body,
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      and that is eternity.
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