Thread: Rant and Rave, Cry and Complain

I got 1 hour of sleep Saturday night (although I was laying outside until sunrise watching meteors) and then three hours last night. I spent the other 5 hours tossing and turning. I've had a total of 8 hours of sleep for a 60 hour time period but I can't fall asleep...

Link, CoolB3rt, Preserver

I didn't sleep at all last night, Preserver, so I sympathize but not overly so. I did it to myself cause I'm sick of sleeping lol

And Link, I sympathize with your laundry and construction rants. It seems WV is always repairing and expanding roads. Granted, we have the best roads I've ever driven on, but it gets tedious after so many years!!

Cool, I know what those sorts of people are like. That's why I limit contact with my family I'm a natural mediator and peace keeper- I can't handle their drama, violence and swearing!

My rant is that after Court (which lasted all of 10 minutes) my daughter could barely contain the tears she had been holding back since I arrived. I had been running late because of my obsession with checking and rechecking the car for cats As soon as I arrived, we were beckoned before the Judge so we didn't get to chat.
After Court, seeing her emotions, I asked her why she was about to cry. She said she didn't think I was going to show up. I asked her why and she scoffed and said I HAD to have seen the local news. No. We don't have TV.
She revealed her former 5th grade had been arrested for molesting her since she was 14 years old. I told her I wasn't mad at her and that I was proud she had finally told SOMEONE. She said other girls are coming forward.

I stopped by Sheetz for my daily hotdogs and I looked at the News Paper. Sure enough, he's behind bars But he could get as little as one year.
At least he wont be a teacher anymore though!

The Preserver, sometimes when you are the most sleep deprived it's the hardest thing in the world to get to sleep! it's so annoying it's almost funny.
Oh my GOD my mom's stupid dog kept me up for like an hour this morning barking at nothing.. I was so mad tossing and turning, my window is right by the back yard.. When I come upstairs to start school (I'm on an online school) I said that her dog was so loud and she gets mad at me. UGH!

But this is the thing that has been on my mind lately the most…
I am desperately looking for a close friend, female, not one that I'm in a relationship with but that I can talk to and just be with all the time. I used to be a really social person but I changed, and my life changed, now unless I try hard I won't see anyone all week because I don't have a school that I see any friends at. By hard I mean biking like 5 miles uphill to town >_>
The thing that makes it even worse is that my dreamguide who is a girl, I can just connect with her so well, well.. she is my dreamguide after all. I am going to be 18 in just over a year but I still don't think that I want a relationship yet. Just friends..
I have two vacant houses on each side of me, and like I said I live miles outside of town. There are only old people living around me too. I used to sneak out at night and go hiking up in the hills which was soo relaxing. And the friend that did live by me about a mile away used to come with me some times. (I live on the edge of a massive forest, actually, a few miles into a massive forest) That friend moved into town last year and it really sucks..
More about my dad, So my dad has some super successful business, I (before I said that life was easy) made a decision to do something better then him. Not as something to prove but just for fun, like an objective to do in my life. That's been going rather well actually.. I mean it's no where close yet but I've got some ideas muhaha >:}


Honestly though, so much of my time is spent thinking about someone that I hope will come along it just can't be healthy lol!
alright this is my rant I had to end it cuz I had to do something earlier and the internet quits sometimes randomly and it jacks things up so I have to be careful to save by copying and pasting..

You sound pretty smart Coolbert. I think you'll do well.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

Spoiler for Ugh:

I'm so sick and tired of these scholarships that over exaggerate and ask "WHAT CAN YOU DO TO CHANGE THE FUTURE?" or some really impossible things to really discuss about. Let's see.....I'm only here through loans, unsub AND subbed (just like the other hundreds of thousands people here), a few little scholarships, no work experience, etc., and the fact that these are geared towards young people who have to express idealistic ambitions without any guarantee that they can back it up with doing it.

The world is already over-saturated that a small and bullshit DIY new age movement isn't going to make any kind of progress. I mean, durrrrrr, they're giving the money, but asking for generic topics just feels so.....it's like they're still holding on to traditions that NEEDS to be updated is what really bothers me.

It sucks already knowing to say for this scholarship topics, but what is really going to hurt my ego is typing something like,

"I believe that with perseverance and diligence, that I will find the cure for cancer and all the problems world, now givez me schoolarhispz pl0x?"

That last part made me lol pretty well.

Um, but you know you can always write something that isn't BS.....
Everyone nowadays just looks up how to write impressive scholarships, resumes - proposals in general. And while it's helpful when used properly, I guarantee 100% that the people who have to read all these things can pick out the truly inspired ones.
Write about something you actually DO want to do, otherwise there will be, as you said, hundreds of thousands who are writing the same thing, and you have no chance.

Fuck... I have to explain a little about the mess my weekend turned into, but I'll try to leave incriminating details out.

Two of my friends have, well, fucked up really badly. My best friend in particular, because he wasn't doing the right thing to keep my other friend who fucked up from self-injuring... or worse. Thankfully they're both unharmed, but this is only part of the story... Both of them have also been freeloading off a third friend for far too long... I can't say the self-injuring friend surprised me, but I really thought my best friend was better than that. This guy wanted to kick them to the curb, but is grudgingly giving them a final chance. (Now add in the fact that the three of them are in a sort of open relationship deal together, and things get about a million times worse.)

Now, I'm basically a saint when it comes to forgiving people, but seeing just how broken up this friend is, and how he's suffering emotionally and financially from what they've done... Well, even I have a hard time giving them a second chance. But the whole experience has torn me up so much... this isn't what I wanted at all. I uprooted my life to move out to Colorado to be with my best friend... and now I'm wondering if it was all a big mistake.

But on the other hand, I already miss talking to him, knowing that the two of them have extremely limited internet access until they get their acts together and do the work they're supposed to be doing. I don't know when I'll next be talking to either of them, even though they live only a mile away... for my own sanity's sake I can't spend any more time around any of them in person. I already had to take a personal day off from work today.

But even after all this shit that's happened... I still miss him. Fuck. What am I supposed to do?

Fuuuuck.... sorry about the double post, but anyone remember me complaining about how my rent was apparently late, when I paid it on time? Well, that was my fault too. Apparently I managed to, not once, but twice, use my checkbook from my old bank to set up payments. And somehow not realize it either time. Fuck... this one is all my fault, and it's going to cost me late fees, and maybe hurt my credit rating. And it all could have been avoided if I'd not been such a dumbass...

Screw it. This is too much. I'm going to bed now. I don't even care that it's only 7:30 here. I'm just done.

I thought you said the money was gone from your account?
Either way at least it's figured out now.

You know, lately I've been asking myself a lot about what exactly is keeping me on DV. I honestly don't have a solid answer. Sure there are a lot of people here that I like knowing, but what else? The forum isn't required to keep in touch with people. This place has changed a lot for me since I first registered, and I feel like I've already gotten everything out of it that I was hoping for, and so much more. It's definitely an unforgettable place, but I'm starting to think that I may be moving on soon....

DV is just like High School. You meet the popular people, consider them as gods who have really made an impact in how we interpret dreaming in general. Everyone that is indulged with the social aspect of it will get caught in the crossfire once in a while, when everyone starts digging in on who you are, just like in High School, you eventually reach that you just need to move on with your life and graduate.

And as much as some may try to think it is a social haven, it is after all, just a forum. But that shouldn't be a bad thing because as long as we have good leaders like Alex keeping things going, Dream Views will continue to be a good base for newcomers who need more information on lucid dreaming and beyond, and to possibly meet others they can keep in touch with. And that's something few forums will be able to compete with.

And when it's time for them to take a hiatus or a permanent leave, we should all be cognizant that it can never replace face-to-face interaction, or at least to the point where members see each other as any other human being they can keep in touch with. Dream Views will continue being an awesome community, even if there is at times when it might be a haywire of social clusters. But just like with anything worth keeping as a part of your memory, it's just a stepping stone to the expansion of experience and knowledge of years to come.

Whatever action you take, I'm glad you became a part of this community, and hope to see you here once in a while.

My rant is my girlfriend's dinner party tonight. I hate saying "girlfriend" on the internet, like I don't know, it sounds like you're trying to imply that you're some massive smooth machine, or something. Unfortunately, it's necessary to specify who the person is, in order to vent. Okay, so it's on tonight, and they'll be here to pick me up, in about three hours. Her father, her mother, and her brother will all be there, as well as extended family, and the centre of this rant; her best friend Shay. So, me and Shay don't get along very well, we both despise each other, and refuse to converse. However, I proposed we but our differences aside for the event, because I really just want Kirra's birthday dinner to go well, and impress her family. I've already met both of her parents, I'm moderately comfortable with her mother, but her father is pretty intimidating, he's like 100000 METRES TALL >.<
Anyway, Shay agreed to act mature, for the sake of Kirra, who we both care about. So, at school today, we were discussing the seating arrangements, and it turns out Shay refuses, and I quote; "To sit in a two chair radius of Nathan." Jesus christ...
So I mean, I wasn't even expecting Shay to converse with me, I was just trying to keep peace, so Kirra could have a good night. By the way, just briefly; the reason I don't talk to Shay, is because she faked a drug overdose once, and is basically a massive attention whore. I know it might sound like we're just bickering three year old's, but I just don't want to be associated with her, but like I said, I was more than happy to come to an agreement to be civil for one night.
So in summary;
Shay is a whore. Kirra now has to choose between sitting next to me or Shay, (She said she'd sit next to me), being paranoid that we're going to end up fighting in front of her whole family, (I wouldn't engage in an argument between Shay anyway, especially not on her birthday, with all her family around), and just generally trying to keep things good.
I really just want Kirra's birthday dinner to go well, I wasn't even expecting Shay to talk to me, I just think it'd be pretty stupid if we weren't well behaved, for our mutual partner. I mean, I'm just really freaking out, because obviously I need to impress Kirra's father, and they're extremely likely to detect something, and disprove, because it'll look like we're behaving like infants. Just yeah, I'm just really not keen for tonight, even though it SHOULD be a fun and enjoyable event.

*puts down foot firmly* You MUST'NT leave Aly. I would miss you too much!

But I understand what you mean.
I don't do face-to-face for the most part, however. You guys ARE my social network. You guys and my shrink .. my hubby and kids to a much lesser degree.

My rant/non-rant is that I'm still awake lol. I'm sleepy which is the rant, but I'm just not ready to go to bed yet. I'll just toss and turn and have bizarre dreams and feel unrested when I open my eyes, so what's the point.
Well, for one thing, my poor joints can stretch out. Laying down (initially) is the only time I'm truly physically comfortable. I sit on one foot then the other throughout the entire day. I need to start going for walks again, but standing for any length of time kills my lower back I can put up with it though. I'm just lazy

A MAJOR anti-rant is that I actually stood my ground for a change and would NOT let my son buy a $60. video game. Not when we have $100. for the week and $40. is automatically gone for smokes and gas. I already have to get one advance in allowance on Friday so I can see the girls and I don't want to start next week to far in "debt". I told him I could give him $30. to hang onto and give him the other $30. on Sunday. But he's impatient and the game (Kingdoms of Amalore or somesuch) has been sold out the last several times he's tried getting it.
So he just bought a $30. game he knew nothing about. He's burned out on shooters lol. But what the hey- I just saved 30 bucks so I'm happy

**EDIT**
You snuck in when I was typing, Yuppie.
I hope the dinner goes much better than you're expecting and that you have a glorious time :::sending positive waves your way:::

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

You know, lately I've been asking myself a lot about what exactly is keeping me on DV. I honestly don't have a solid answer. Sure there are a lot of people here that I like knowing, but what else? The forum isn't required to keep in touch with people. This place has changed a lot for me since I first registered, and I feel like I've already gotten everything out of it that I was hoping for, and so much more. It's definitely an unforgettable place, but I'm starting to think that I may be moving on soon....

You don't learn things here? I get good conversations with people, I can vent my anger and other feelings in this thread and some of the people are cool.
I've also learnt tonnes about different topics I probably would have never put much thought in to had I not been here. And get to argue a topic with people which is very difficult IRL even if you've got lots of friends etc.

I do have a couple of problems with it, like there are heaps of younger people joining and it can seem boring I guess, coz they make threads with questions you've thought about already and they look like idiots.
But there are still a lot of older members here who are intelligent.

But yeah, if you feel like you should move on because being here is holding back your growth, or isn't useful to you anymore.
Then good luck and please try to drop by once in a blue moon if you think of us

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

DV is just like High School. You meet the popular people, consider them as gods who have really made an impact in how we interpret dreaming in general. Everyone that is indulged with the social aspect of it will get caught in the crossfire once in a while, when everyone starts digging in on who you are, just like in High School, you eventually reach that you just need to move on with your life and graduate.

And as much as some may try to think it is a social haven, it is after all, just a forum. But that shouldn't be a bad thing because as long as we have good leaders like Alex keeping things going, Dream Views will continue to be a good base for newcomers who need more information on lucid dreaming and beyond, and to possibly meet others they can keep in touch with. And that's something few forums will be able to compete with.

And when it's time for them to take a hiatus or a permanent leave, we should all be cognizant that it can never replace face-to-face interaction, or at least to the point where members see each other as any other human being they can keep in touch with. Dream Views will continue being an awesome community, even if there is at times when it might be a haywire of social clusters. But just like with anything worth keeping as a part of your memory, it's just a stepping stone to the expansion of experience and knowledge of years to come.

Whatever action you take, I'm glad you became a part of this community, and hope to see you here once in a while.

Thanks, Link. I'm glad I became a part of this community too, life would be very different if I'd never met all of you. I will still make myself known occasionally, that's for sure. There's no way I could just leave this place forever, and who knows? Maybe some day I'll be ready to start frequenting DV again.

Originally Posted by Zhaylin

*puts down foot firmly* You MUST'NT leave Aly. I would miss you too much!

But I understand what you mean.
I don't do face-to-face for the most part, however. You guys ARE my social network. You guys and my shrink .. my hubby and kids to a much lesser degree.

I knew this was going to get emotional. I'll miss you too, Zhay. But it's not like I'm just going to completely remove DV from my mind. I can still check back every now and then, and I'm planning to leave it so that I still get email notifications about PMs so that people can still contact me that way. And if you ever wanted to keep in touch in another way like directly through email I would be up for that as well! I love keeping in touch with people like that.

DV is my social network too, but that's part of the problem. I need to be interacting with the world around me right now. It doesn't mean I'll be forgetting about you guys, though.

Originally Posted by tommo

You don't learn things here? I get good conversations with people, I can vent my anger and other feelings in this thread and some of the people are cool.
I've also learnt tonnes about different topics I probably would have never put much thought in to had I not been here. And get to argue a topic with people which is very difficult IRL even if you've got lots of friends etc.

I do have a couple of problems with it, like there are heaps of younger people joining and it can seem boring I guess, coz they make threads with questions you've thought about already and they look like idiots.
But there are still a lot of older members here who are intelligent.

But yeah, if you feel like you should move on because being here is holding back your growth, or isn't useful to you anymore.
Then good luck and please try to drop by once in a blue moon if you think of us

Well, it's not that I haven't learned anything, but really most of the stuff I've discussed here is stuff that was already on my mind before I ever registered. My DV experience is highly reflective of my close social circle, and vice-versa. I honestly don't say anything here that I wouldn't say to my close off-the-'net friends, in fact most of the time the same conversations carry on back and forth between them and DV for me. Two of my good friends are natural lucid dreamers, and the rest are all practitioners of it. Most of them use supplements as well, I got them all to open up to that years ago when I started bringing calea to every smoking circle. Most of them also meditate and a couple have even had OBEs from it. Even just the more Loungy subjects.... When I started weakamon's no fap challenge, I got some of my friends to join in lol. (We all failed horribly. ) The stuff from the fetish thread? Pssh, my friends know my fetishes. Believe me, it seems like dreams, drugs, sex, and the nature of reality are the only things I ever talk about because they are the only things I ever talk about. And when it comes to venting, I get that, but I really don't even make very serious rants here. When I have actual issues I go to my off-the-'net friends, and I'm MUCH more open with them than I am here. (Is that a scary thought? Lol.)

My main problem with it right now is the fact that all I do is spend all of my free time talking about stuff on DV, and then when I go to relax with my friends all we do is drink or smoke and talk about the exact same things, then I bring it back to DV and the cycle starts over. Relaxing with friends when they just want to take it easy is fine, but this time that I dedicate to DV is the time that I should be using to try to actually do something with my life, or to try to actually find events and things to attend with my friends. What's worse is that DV is becoming like Facebook did for me.... I barely even participate anymore other than in a couple threads. I spend most of my time refreshing the main page and watching my email inbox for thread notifications, most of which I feel too lazy to check right away (my inbox has 87 unread messages right now). It's an addiction and it's going to be hard to break, but I quit Facebook for the same reason and I haven't looked back since.

I love DV and I always will, but I can't ignore the fact that most of the people on here that I carry on really deep conversations with have already left or I already talk to outside of DV, and I can easily do the same with anyone else. And when I first signed up for the site, I was depressed and anxious all the time and was just sort of looking for a place to cool off in my down time. Now I've come a long way since then and I actually want to make something of myself, so sticking around for that old purpose when I don't need it anymore is really only going to hinder me because it's going to convince me to keep staring at my computer screen all day. Like I said, I won't be putting you guys out of my mind forever, I just need to start actually living my life. You'll all be dearly missed and I'll absolutely make an appearance when I can.

I was going to give it a little time after I made that post last night, but I think I am just about to wrap things up today. I've gotten most of what I wanted to say out there. I'll post to make it official when I do leave, though.

-----

Rant: I was legitimately crying through much of this.

Now I'm sad.

Originally Posted by melanieb

Now I'm sad.

I'm sorry. You know you can still get ahold of me whenever you want. I know this seems kind of sudden, but... I've been thinking about it for a while. I just dedicate way too much time to doing next to nothing here, I need to have some time away to focus on myself. I'll make a reappearance, I promise.

Aly How is anyone gonna take supplements anymore, imagine how lost people will be without the excellent Menthol thread etc. I suppose its obvious that this forum only grows extremely slowly, it's just sad how many of the great members are leaving while only 1/10 of the new guys actually stay and become a part of DV. Surely you don't have to leave completely, just stay on a few of these threads. You, littlezoe, wolfwood, carrot and linkzelda are what started up DV for me and now I rarely see anyone but Link around .

The Menthol thread will always be there to be sucked slowly, and to relieve the blocked nose of DV, whilst soothing the throat and neural pathways of life itself!

I don't know what to feel right now, I've got good feelings and bad feelings. If anyone read a little earlier, I complained about this dilemma where I never get to communicate for real with my dad? There's a really simple solution to that. Earlier today he had something to tell me, he seemed really really hesitant and I'm pretty sure he felt bad about it. But what he'd done was that while I had been out without my phone, he'd went on here and read some of my posts. It would have been those two since they were apparently the newest posts of mine at the time.

I think he was worried about me feeling like he was snooping around and invading my privacy. And I guess he kind of was?? But nevertheless, I didn't give a single fuck about it, in fact I was relieved and happy because it led to a good conversation about the whole thing and things in general, something that wouldn't otherwise have happened unless we waited until the atmosphere got so full of hot air that we'd explode into some kind of angered discussion.

...hi dad?

On the negative side of my feelings, there's tomorrow. Tomorrow is the day the girl has to go and give her story to the police. I have absolutely no idea how that works, how she feels and how it will go down or how it will affect her. I have a vague idea that it's going to be extremely uncomfortable for her. It is extremely frustrating to me that I cannot do anything for her and that I don't even have a speck of an idea how she feels.

And school starts tomorrow. And then training with the friend? I wonder if she'll be there by then...

Originally Posted by dutchraptor

Aly How is anyone gonna take supplements anymore, imagine how lost people will be without the excellent Menthol thread etc. I suppose its obvious that this forum only grows extremely slowly, it's just sad how many of the great members are leaving while only 1/10 of the new guys actually stay and become a part of DV. Surely you don't have to leave completely, just stay on a few of these threads. You, littlezoe, wolfwood, carrot and linkzelda are what started up DV for me and now I rarely see anyone but Link around .

People survived before I showed up. It does suck that a lot of old people have left, that's part of why my reasons to stay have been dwindling as well... but not all of it. The thing is, I wouldn't say I was just going to leave completely if I didn't know the way I handle habits, but I really do need to take a legitimate break. If I stay on DV then I'm just going to enable myself to continue feeling like I'm getting better but not actually doing anything about it, and if I use DV even a bit I'll just get back into it again. I've tried easing off a bit before, but I'm back to where I started. I'd love to stay but I really do feel like I need to do this for now.

Like I said, I'm always available by PM or outside of DV if you want to send me an email or talk on an IM or something. I'm still willing to keep in touch.

Originally Posted by RobStar

The Menthol thread will always be there to be sucked slowly, and to relieve the blocked nose of DV, whilst soothing the throat and neural pathways of life itself!

You really like that menthol, huh?

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

You really like that menthol, huh?

Yeah, I sure do!

Take care Aly. All the best!
We will miss you.

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

DV is just like High School. You meet the popular people, consider them as gods who have really made an impact in how we interpret dreaming in general. Everyone that is indulged with the social aspect of it will get caught in the crossfire once in a while, when everyone starts digging in on who you are, just like in High School, you eventually reach that you just need to move on with your life and graduate.

Is that how high school went for you? I NEVER liked the popular people in high school.

And yet, I have to say I do like it here. Every other forum I've been on, I've been doomed to become a lurker, posting only a few times a year and going months without reading posts at all. Not being the overly social type makes staying active on forums difficult for me. This forum almost fell to the same fate... well, it did for a few years. You only have to look at my join date and post history to see that. But something brought me back at some point, and I'm finally beginning to get used to the idea of posting here semi-regularly. Even if it's mostly in this one thread. You guys are totally cool though, and I'm even more glad I can speak here now that I don't have my best friend to rant to... which brings me to my actual rant:

I still dunno what to do about him. I should be upset, and I still am, but I also want to talk to him. I didn't realize how much I relied on him to listen to my every complaint, and to try to cheer me up. And he did an admirable job of it, too. I just don't know how he can be such a nice person, but still freeload off my other friend like that. And make such poor decisions. It doesn't add up. I still see the old side of him sometimes, but it just makes me sad and confused.

My other rant: I'd miss you too, Aly.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

You know, lately I've been asking myself a lot about what exactly is keeping me on DV. I honestly don't have a solid answer. Sure there are a lot of people here that I like knowing, but what else? The forum isn't required to keep in touch with people. This place has changed a lot for me since I first registered, and I feel like I've already gotten everything out of it that I was hoping for, and so much more. It's definitely an unforgettable place, but I'm starting to think that I may be moving on soon....

Aww, we're going to miss you! I think I understand what you mean, though. I joined a couple of years ago, and the first year was all about me learning about lucid dreaming, then I took a break, and now that I'm back, I basically only use it to chat with people on the site itself. Stop back and say hi sometime!

Originally Posted by Linkzelda

DV is just like High School. You meet the popular people, consider them as gods who have really made an impact in how we interpret dreaming in general.

In my high school, we all laughed at the "popular" kids; they didn't contribute much to the school aside from the occasional athletics record. We must have had a slightly different high school experience, but at my high school, the popular kids were obnoxious, and most people disliked them (and I basically ignored them whenever possible.)

Although now that I read what I just wrote... that does sound a bit like DV (and all social interactions, including the workplace.) And of course we have our cliques here in DV, although they overlap a bit more than in real life due to the nature of the site.

RANT: I had what I'm pretty sure was intended to be a gluten-free cupcake from a healthy cupcake place. It was horrible. I hate how the health-food industry has taken "gluten-free" to the extreme. Less than one percent of people actually HAVE Celiac's disease, and very few people are sensitive to gluten. Plus, gluten is what makes bread and cakes and donuts and cupcakes and muffins FLUFFY AND SOFT AND DELICIOUS. Why would you want hard, boring, dense, icky foods if you don't have Celiac's disease?! It boggles my mind.

Also, I got my bill for tuition this semester and I can't find out how much I can take out via Perkins Loan until just before school starts. But that will determine how much I actually have to PAY next month, which means I'll be scrambling to figure out what loans I need before my payment is due. I know they're called "financial aid" because they're supposed to be assisting me, but I'm not feeling the love or assistance. And don't even get me started on the $4,700 scholarship I lost from last year...

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

I'm sorry. You know you can still get ahold of me whenever you want. I know this seems kind of sudden, but... I've been thinking about it for a while. I just dedicate way too much time to doing next to nothing here, I need to have some time away to focus on myself. I'll make a reappearance, I promise.

Makin me all sad an stuff

CLOWN WARNING, DARK!!!! Jeez.... Just massive clown picture on first post of page. No spoiler, nothing. Have some heart bro.

Originally Posted by Maeni

I think he was worried about me feeling like he was snooping around and invading my privacy. And I guess he kind of was?? But nevertheless, I didn't give a single fuck about it, in fact I was relieved and happy because it led to a good conversation about the whole thing and things in general, something that wouldn't otherwise have happened unless we waited until the atmosphere got so full of hot air that we'd explode into some kind of angered discussion.

You're lucky. Your dad cares! He obviously felt like that was the only thing he could do to figure out what is going on with you. AND he also felt bad about it afterward. It's a great thing.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

My DV experience is highly reflective of my close social circle, and vice-versa. I honestly don't say anything here that I wouldn't say to my close off-the-'net friends

Ah, that makes sense then, Well, you are one very lucky person. Or you just know how to choose your friends lol.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

What's worse is that DV is becoming like Facebook did for me.... I barely even participate anymore other than in a couple threads.

You just made me realise that since I deleted my Facebook that my DV time has increased dramatically....
Hm.....
And the other day I also had my first thought of making another one, which is probably just a sign I'm slipping back in to old ways.

Originally Posted by Alyzarin

Now I've come a long way since then and I actually want to make something of myself, so sticking around for that old purpose when I don't need it anymore is really only going to hinder me because it's going to convince me to keep staring at my computer screen all day.

I can definitely empathise with that. For example right now I'm on here and after will check new posts in e-mail and spend hours on here instead of looking for a job.

....Damn.... that post has almost convinced me I need to leave now.
Especially that last bit. I've put all my energy that was being used on actual pursuits in to posting on DV and now Reddit too.
I think at the least I need a healthy balance. But way more energy in to other IRL things and way less on the internet. So not really a balance, but yeah.

Hm. Overly Dramatic Leaving song!