Thread: Most Important Lesson You Have Learned

Originally Posted by DreamCrusader

Don't worry about what everybody else is doing . Focus on yourself, relax and enjoy life.

I like this one.

Life is not about making everyone around you happy with who you are, it is about making yourself happy with who you are.

You can't allow those around you to define who you are, that's your job.

This isn't THE most important lesson I ever learned, but it's a big one: you have to respect the 3 nonos of drinking alcohol.

respect the alcohol gradient or you'll puke
if you puke in your mouth don't swallow it back down
if you swallow it back down, don't put your hand over your mouth when it comes back up with vengeance

I broke all 3 rules in college in ONE night. I had a six pack of beer, then did tequila slammers, then had everclear punch (rule 1 broken). Then I had to puke but managed to only hurl a bit in my mouth. So I swallowed it back down to avoid embarrassment (rule 2 broken). Then when I felt it coming back up with fury, I covered my mouth which caused puke to spray all over others, rather than just collecting on one spot of the floor (rule 3 broken).

The next morning my friend said I puked all over his girlfriends shoes. I don't even remember seeing them at the party! I never broke any of those rules ever again. Cheers! Drunk responsibly.



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This is my ten commandments I've learned so far. These are the deepest lessons I think life can teach you.

1. Don't shampoo your dog with nair!

2. If you thought the second day of a drug/alcohol binge was even better than the first, just wait. It's all uphill from there.

3. If your dick gets stuck in a garbage disposal, flip the switch immediately to counter-reverse the flow of pressure, works every time.

4. Only try when guaranteed success. Horse shoes and hand grenades are the only time in life when "Almost" matters.

5. Fuck a lot of old women. Like really old. You'll develop a layer of hardened sap from their elder nether ether which will prevent you from contracting STDs.

6. Bros before Hos but Hos can be Bros and Bros can be Hobos so Hobro Hobos before Broho Horbos

7. When going into a really hot place, wear a lot of antiperspirant. It helps keep you dry so you don't boil in your sweat. (It's also better at being sunscreen than sunscreen, srs)

8. If you encounter a bear, charge it head on. Bears don't know close quarters combat.

9. Never be afraid to put something up your butt. In fact, the more practice you have putting strange things up your butt, the better prepared you are for life in general.

10. Get a job you hate in order to make money. If you have a family, ignore them as much as possible. Don't worry, they'll always be around.

Originally Posted by Original Poster

8. If you encounter a bear, charge it head on. Bears don't know close quarters combat.

I was taught in a dream by a bear fighter to put both arms up around your head "because trained bears always go for the head", and to "take 2 aggressive steps backwards."

Dreams are full of ridiculous shit.

Originally Posted by OpheliaBlue

This isn't THE most important lesson I ever learned, but it's a big one: you have to respect the 3 nonos of drinking alcohol.

respect the alcohol gradient or you'll puke
if you puke in your mouth don't swallow it back down
if you swallow it back down, don't put your hand over your mouth when it comes back up with vengeance

I broke all 3 rules in college in ONE night. I had a six pack of beer, then did tequila slammers, then had everclear punch (rule 1 broken). Then I had to puke but managed to only hurl a bit in my mouth. So I swallowed it back down to avoid embarrassment (rule 2 broken). Then when I felt it coming back up with fury, I covered my mouth which caused puke to spray all over others, rather than just collecting on one spot of the floor (rule 3 broken).

The next morning my friend said I puked all over his girlfriends shoes. I don't even remember seeing them at the party! I never broke any of those rules ever again. Cheers! Drunk responsibly.



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1) don't get the chick who's really good at quarters mad at you when you're playing
2) don't play quarters with airplane-fuel quality vodka
3) don't keep playing quarters with said vodka straight when you run out of orange juice
4) don't be the janitor of the dorm floor with the guy who broke rules 1-3 and ate a lot of pizza that night. At least it was a tile floor

Vomit filters out the bad parts of alcohol. While drinking, perform vomit inducing activities whenever possible. Nothing in the world beats a hot day, cheap whiskey and wobbly merry-go-round. NOTHING

Originally Posted by Original Poster

Vomit filters out the bad parts of alcohol. While drinking, perform vomit inducing activities whenever possible. Nothing in the world beats a hot day, cheap whiskey and wobbly merry-go-round. NOTHING

Fourth of July party on the rooftop in another state, in the hot tub WHILE drinking wine (after drinking way too much wine before heading up to the roof), FELT like all the world was a wobbly merry-go-round that wouldn't stop, lost my bridge-work projectile spewing down the toilet, but didn't realize it until morning. Had to send home for my emergency bridge so I wouldn't be a toothless hill-billy at my friend's wedding.

Thank goodness I was young and foolish before camera phones were invented.

Walking on the moon WHILE shotgunning beer in almost ZERO GRAVITY and projectile foaming into space.

The absolute most important lesson that I've learned is this:

Trust your friends and family when you have troubles, lows, and even when you have done something wrong. Because you tend to tell yourself that you can't go to others for help, when in reality you can.

Originally Posted by Darkranger85

...you tend to tell yourself that you can't go to others for help, when in reality you can.

[Shrugs] Just always be prepared to pay a price. And always keep the batteries in your Treachery Sensor charged.

Definitely don't eat the yellow snow.

Keep the faith.

Be respectful and self aware of how you appear to others.

Be forgiving.

Also
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Originally Posted by BEEFYpWnGe

Definitely don't eat the yellow snow.

Hahaha

I learned that no matter how close a person seems, you shouldn't stay around them for too long because there is a gigantic chance that you are going to like him or her less the more you hang out together. A friend once told me that the true test of friendship is to go on a long trip together, at least a day.

^ A similar lesson - the same happens as friends grow older. Kids are like puppies or kittens - not only are they not fully formed yet (the brain doesn't finish its growth until around age 25) but in youth they're super resilient and openminded and able to get along with anyone. I think its a survival strategy, making it more likely they'll be supported and liked by whoever needs to take care of them and making it hard to get mad at them. But by the time you're past college age you're really starting to get firmly set in who you are, and from there it only gets stronger. The things that cause total rifts between adults don't matter when you're kids on the playground.

Originally Posted by melanieb

It's okay to say "no."

I second this a thousandfold.

Well - I wanted it in the favourite quotes thread, but I can't seem to find it - I would be grateful, if somebody could link me there. But then - it is an important lesson allright:


Second thoughts can generally be amended with judicious action; injudicious actions can seldom be recovered with second thoughts.

- Carolyn Janice Cherryh in 'Cyteen'

That you dont know how long the fire will burn you before it will float away, but it WILL float away, the bad in your life will go away and you will be happy, God will make you happy, He wants you to be happy. Someone put a tea filter on my hand, and then lit it on fire, and it felt like it was burning my skin but when it got to my skin it just floated away and the pain was gone and there was no burn.

Originally Posted by Narwhal

But it's hard for people to come into an indirect light, just makes more obstacles needed to seek the truth. You need only plant seeds whether people decide to grow it now, or later when all else fails them. One might have regrets later for not being that bright light that may or may not piss people off because then you never had a chance to show it on the people who needed it. But perhaps you meant letting them come to the light you shine with example rather than trying to force light on people who are to blind to even see it

This is a good way of looking at it! People HATE it when I share the light. I hope after they die or later in life my words will give them hope

I thought of another one: Try your absolute BEST not to end up working in the middle of a cunt sandwich at your job.

^^ RC RC RC. Belongs on the "I can't believe I wasn't dreaming" thread, or perhaps we need a new "waking people say the darndest things" thread.

Originally Posted by FryingMan

^^ RC RC RC. Belongs on the "I can't believe I wasn't dreaming" thread, or perhaps we need a new "waking people say the darndest things" thread.

:thunbup:
this is where my weird relation of waking to dream might belong.