Afternoon of August 8, 1976. Sunday. About 4:30 PM. In real life at about 4:30 in the afternoon, I had fallen asleep in my Cubitis home’s southwest bedroom (with the bed’s head against the middle of the south wall and my mother’s desk to the left of the bed). While I was still sleeping, my mother had come in to do some writing at her desk. The room was warm, almost uncomfortably so. In my dream, I am wandering about in what is apparently the location of “The Bob Newhart Show” television series. Not many events stayed in my memory as it may have been mostly replays from the series from having seen it in real life. Near the end of my dream (about the time my mother starts talking loudly in reality), I see Bob Newhart walking quickly towards a revolving door from within the lobby of a building. He smiles at me in sincere friendliness and cheerfulness and waves while carrying his briefcase in his other hand. He goes into the revolving door to leave the building. At this exact point, I am rudely awakened by my mother exclaiming, seemingly in a sarcastic manner, “Boy, that must be some dream!” I was somewhat disoriented about my location before fully waking. Apparently, I had been grinning widely in my sleep. She thought I was dreaming about girls, but I was so annoyed by her presumption and having been woken up, I never told her what I had actually been dreaming about. Most relevant key terms: Interrupted dream from my mother speaking loudly and waking me up.Doorway waking symbolism. A doorway symbolizes here, the potential exit point of the dream state in real time.Preconscious as male celebrity (actor and comedian) ascending into emergent consciousness with happiness and no conflict.Revolving door as symbolizing puzzlement in higher liminal space as representing my dream being truncated, with uncertainty over my dream ending or reintiating.While sleeping in my Cubitis home’s southwest bedroom instead of my bedroom.Grinning while sleeping and dreaming.
Morning of October 31, 2017. Tuesday. The dream state induction symbolism here is water flowing in (most common). The waking transition symbolism here is water lowering over time and “return flight” waking symbolism (most common; over twenty percent of regular dreams and about ninety percent of all dreams). Dream state induction symbolism and waking transition symbolism are inherent to the dream state itself based on the real-time dynamics of going to sleep, being unconscious, and waking, and is unrelated to real life or the inventive untruthfulness of “interpretation”. These forms of induction and waking transition factors have occurred at least once per day for over fifty years. The water induction and reduction is biologically based on the glymphatic system and the flight-related symbolism is based on the reticular activating system (RAS) and inner ear dynamics during sleep (especially as a factor relating to the fictitious dream body as being upright while the real physical body is lying down, which is what causes most falling dreams and is unrelated to the deception of “interpretation” or cruelly fabricated “meaning” to negate someone’s livelihood under the oppression of disinformation - in fact, if you watch a baby sleeping and a noise occurs in some cases when they are in the dream state or when air blows on them, especially their face, they will throw up their arms and automatically briefly maintain a falling position - not to mention the common term “falling asleep” - how could people miss this?). Stepping into a beach scene in late afternoon (a very common lucid entry simply because I like the beauty of the ocean and the liminal space of the beach, which symbolizes the state between dreaming and waking), a young version of Zsuzsanna in black lingerie approaches on a black horse. The essence of beauty increases and is appreciated. Zsuzsanna is with me in an extended love-making scene. My lucidity decreases to semi-lucidity though my conscious self identity remains intact. Sexuality symbolizes…wait for it…sexuality (oh snap), at least in lucid and semi-lucid dreams, because, well, that is what I unconsciously will via conscious self identity (it is not rocket science). Over time, after indulging in sensuality for seemingly a long time, the usual water lowering event as a waking precursor “timer” (common since around age four) commences. (Among other analogies, this directly represents the tidal analogy of the glymphatic system.) We have somehow teleported, while on our sides, to a field of knee-high grass adjacent to the beach we had just been on. In the distance, I see a red combine harvester approaching, but not that close to our location. “Oh-oh,” I say, but with somewhat of a comedic mocking of the semi-lucid dream content. A change occurs where some of the ocean water nearest the beach is topped with ice. I see what I think is a helicopter and I assume it is the flight symbolism (end marker) out of my dream. Instead, my dream does not decay but transitions to being slightly more vivid again. “It’s a snowmocopter,” I say, noticing that it is actually a snowmobile (though was a helicopter that changed into the snowmobile). I sit down on the snowmobile and do some sort of kick start maneuver with my left foot as if I was on a motorcycle. As I am doing this, the preconscious (as an unfamiliar young male) sneaks up from behind me. Some sort of strange teleportation occurs again, and I am standing and watching the preconscious on the snowmobile (as I am standing on the left of the snowmobile), and he is now trying to start it. “Well, that thing ain’t gonna fly,” I say, as he looks amused, as I laugh myself awake.
Morning of October 31, 2017. Tuesday. After stepping into my dream, I quickly begin to lose lucidity and memory (though several threads of conscious self identity remain extant). I find myself within a typical dream state induction stage; riding a bus, which is also sometimes a dream state end marker (or waking transition factor) though not in this case, and is unrelated to real life either symbolically or literally (and I have not ridden a bus in years). My wife Zsuzsanna is with me. We are apparently in La Crosse (though Zsuzsanna has never been to America). I am aware that Marilyn (older half-sister on my mother’s side who died in 2014) is living in the Loomis Street house. I “remember” her status as she appeared in the 1980s as if that was the present time. The bus driver turns down an alley, which is seemingly the Wood Street alley south from Gillette Street. Eventually, I notice it is nighttime even though it was daytime moments previously. I feel an unusual association of my physical body being linked to the movements of the bus. This is because I know and understand that for me, being on a bus is usually an expanded projection of the otherwise fictitious dream body, as well as a distorted subliminal association with my sleeping physical body. A bus is also a coalescence factor in unifying neural energies (in the guise of different dream characters) in real time within the dream state. I know this to be true as I have experienced and validated it thousands of times since early childhood. The bus goes through half-oval paths in and out of at least three people’s backyards. It is very narrow, but no mishaps occur. The half-oval paths are bordered by a stack of cardboard boxes (of a very similar appearance as in my dream of the 29th, “To the Zoo”, and is therefore a carryover caused by the virtuous circle effect of unconscious dynamics). These paths would not be possible to maneuver and turn in in reality, especially for a bus. I end up in an area near the Black River, on its east side. There is one unfamiliar cottage present. Two mailmen are walking north and side-by-side to the cottage, but only one is carrying a letter. I see a street sign that names the area as Delores Street, though it is actually not a real street, just a stretch of land near the Black River. I also see that the letter has Delores Street on it, yet I recognize the name above it as a former pen pal of over twenty years ago. (I do not recall the other name, but Delores was the name of an older lady in a wheelchair who I had written to for a time.) I am amazed that this pen pal is now living here. I “knowingly” tell Marilyn, who makes a brief appearance to my right, that, “it took them one and a half years to deliver that letter”. I am aware that it is a letter from me, which of course makes no sense at all. How could it be a letter from me when I did not know she had moved to La Crosse? I am also trying to determine what will happen if she knows I am living here. Many more nuances of this scenario make no sense at all in any context (though bear in mind that my dream self does not consider how wrong or mixed-up the entire scenario is). Eventually, while I am still a short distance south of the cottage, I see this dark-haired girl of about eighteen years old and wearing only a towel. She is cheerfully walking southerly, passing fairly close to me, yet without seeming to notice me at all. Apparently, she is going to where Marilyn lives. I supposedly live there as well. It is a fictional building south of the cottage (a new and unique location). This makes no sense either, yet I still see her as my formerly much older pen pal who is now somehow much younger. Another way that it makes no sense is that I am fully aware of the Loomis Street address and yet the location Marilyn and I live is a fictional area (even though I am also ambiguously aware that we “still” live on Loomis Street - yet not). Not only that, this girl somehow knows our “new” address. Non-lucid dreams indicate a major cessation of viable memory. From here, my dream distorts into unrelated events. I am in a large unfamiliar shed or warehouse. I notice a complex block and tackle device through a square opening in the ceiling, although there is an additional ceiling above that one. The device has a block with about eight or nine sheaves (rather than two for a twin sheave) with hard mud and straw between them. Over time, I vividly knock out the sections of dirt and debris with a long stick so that the wheels rotate fully around. There is no backstory to this, but I suspect it relates to teeth hygiene. This takes time and a number of attempts as I watch large sections of dirt and straw loosen and fall from the sheaves. An unknown female of about thirty years of age appears. We talk about the Internet. I have some older computer technology sitting on a table in the warehouse, which I might be getting rid of. She seems interested in it. I pick up an old modem and she mentions something about Wi-Fi as if she does not want anything to do with it and she asks me if I have it. I tell her that my oldest daughter and oldest son have it but that I use a cable (which amazingly is actually true even though I am in the non-lucid dream state - how strange is that). We go to what seems to be an area in a house (which is not logical as we just turned around and walked a short distance while in the warehouse or shed). I turn the computer on but then “remember” (incorrectly) that this CRT monitor does not come on fully as the top and bottom of the screen is distorted and the picture is horizontally squashed a little. I mention this to the female. She still seems interested in the modem. From here, I am distracted by two unknown males (though one of whom may be a younger version of our landlord). They are on an unlikely platform high up inside the warehouse. I tell them that I had cleaned the block and tackle and they seem appreciative but I am also apparently going to help them by lifting something up near one end of the warehouse. I notice very small square holes with a white membrane in the ceiling. I successfully and effortlessly lift up (with block and tackle) whatever it is I need to lift up, which I am uncertain of, but which may have been a part of the building to put back into place. There is an unusual scaffold-like area on that side as well (perpendicular to the unlikely narrow platform the men are on) and I do it from an otherwise very unlikely distance from the center of this large building.
Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday. My wife Zsuzsanna and our children as we appear now are living in a new distortion of the Cubitis house (where I have not lived since 1978 and where Zsuzsanna and our children have never been). It is unique in that most of the northwest corner of the living room is directly open to outside, additionally with no discernible carport that was there in real life (this alteration never having occurred in any previous dream as all dream settings are unique and different from each other, at least in my lifelong dreaming history), yet also with some sort of set of screen doors (a play on “screening” RAS in this case). It is seemingly nighttime throughout the entire dream. I notice the preconscious (an unknown male of about thirty-five) sitting in a lawn chair in the front yard, at about a forty-five degree angle in facing towards the doors from about fifteen feet away. He has a flashlight or some sort of small lamp. He seems to be cheerful, but I am aggravated by him being in the front yard and watching my family. As a result of a subliminal dream state awareness, I find myself holding two barbells (without the weights), my weapon of choice in this type of dream, though I typically only have one (though in this case, subliminal dream control seems closer to viable lucidity). I cross the barbells across my chest in an X shape and tell the preconscious to leave my dream and to stop watching my family. However, he phases through the screen door and is then in the living room. Before there is coalescence (waking integration of dream self and emergent consciousness), I somehow trigger a shift (probably by the X over my chest) to where the doorway waking symbolism is decremented. I then (non-lucidly) create a number of dream servants (all male in this case) who take the preconscious and other characters that had been in the front yard to a zoo that is presumably south of the house by about seven lots (probably near where my brother Earl’s southerly neighbor lived in real life in the mid-1970s). I have my dream servants take the preconscious and his minions into a “deeper” section of the zoo, behind stacks of possibly empty cardboard boxes (which symbolize parts of the mind or memory that are inactive in the dream state). I am aware that there are a number of large wild animals walking around freely, but I am not within that section. I reason that they (the unwanted male characters) will not be able to leave unless I allow them to. I know there are elephants and rhinoceroses there, the main animals I think about, and I also hear them. While standing near the empty cardboard boxes, an unusual monkey jumps up on one at about waist height. It walks mostly on all fours and is about the size of a kitten. I consider that it seems like some sort of unlikely miniature baboon rather than a normal monkey or ape. It lightly nibbles on my fingers, which makes me slightly wary at first, but then I decide that it probably will not bite me. Perhaps it is hungry. As it turns out, it is a kitten, as my oldest daughter’s new pet kitten had been lightly nibbling on my fingers in reality as I was sleeping.
Updated 10-10-2019 at 05:59 AM by 1390
Morning of October 29, 2017. Sunday. I am in an unknown room that is about twice the size of our lounge room. It seems to be a public area, but only at certain times, resulting in ambiguity in also being our implied home. As a result, there are no associations with unknown people who are present at times as being intruders as in many other dreams. Also, everyone else in my dream remains cheerful except for the baby in the last scene. There is a story in the background, unrelated to the main scenario, that relates to someone traveling by motorcycle. There is a video about it but I do not fully focus on it. There is also a point at which one of my dark-haired female teachers (implied only) from elementary school appears, though this character is actually unknown and unfamiliar. I decide to get a haircut because I notice a few strands that are longer than they should be. I had just gotten a haircut in this place, but another one will be given. There is no association with money or paying for the service. I watch, apparently in a mirror, as long clusters from my otherwise short hair are combed out and cut, mostly from the back. The detail is very realistic. After this, I look at my hair and hairstyle. I decide to comb my hair to the other side from how it was cut and styled. This makes it look slightly wrong, so I decide to get a third haircut. A little later, I discover I have a short Mohawk and I have no hair at all on either side of it. I cannot work out what happened. I consider that I must have fallen asleep and that they had probably given me anesthesia without me realizing it (or even giving permission). I have no memory of any hair being cut this short or of a razor shaving my head on each side. (Even though questioning if I had fallen asleep is one of the most obvious dream state indicators possible, I do not question my present status of possibly being asleep and dreaming. As a haircut symbolizes the real-time dynamics of neural energy in REM sleep, having been “asleep” in my dream validates now having only a small amount of hair down the middle of the top of my head.) I am somewhat angry and self-conscious about this haircut but not that outwardly emotional or vocal about it. The unknown male who had apparently done this says it is the best haircut I could have for my face and that I look good. I consider this and decide that it might be okay to go out in public like this, as some men have no hair at all. I note how smooth the hairless areas of my head are, so it was a very good job on their part, as there were no accidental cuts either. Only a short time later, I discover that my hair is as it was before I got the first haircut (though it is now longer than it is in real life). I am puzzled, yet I do not realize that this could only happen in a dream (and it symbolizes my emergent consciousness being more viable at this point, though the preconscious is never directly dominant or aggressive in this situation, though this was not my last dream of the day). I am trying to mentally resolve how they could have done this, but it does not seem possible (and I do not converse with them about this). On one level, I am glad my hair is as it was, but the mystery remains. Meanwhile, there is an offset scenario where a baby seems to be having difficulty in remaining on stacks of books in a plastic storage box. He drops down into a couple rows of lower stacks on his left a few times (as the older boys place him back on the highest stacks each time) and cries about bumping down onto the books. Our youngest son and a few other boys are looking at the baby who I see in profile with his head oriented to the right of the scene. I make a comment to them about being careful with him, though he does not seem to be hurt. Despite this being a perfect opportunity to become lucid, I do not. It almost seems like a subliminal experiment to test myself, as a haircut symbolizes associations with the level of neural energies in the dream state in real time (with no RAS activation, only a slight shift in levels of consciousness). The baby on the books in the storage box is a metaphor for critical thinking skills not being extant in the dream state. In fact, this is direct parallel symbolism analogous to my failure to realize my dream state by way of the impossible hair changes and real time neural energy dynamics and their level and length (length of time for emergent consciousness viability as a play on length of hair). (Dropping down onto a lower stack of books relates to decreasing dynamics of conscious self identity in the dream state despite this being near the end of my dream, though again, not the last dream of the sleeping period or with sustained wakefulness afterwards, which clarifies and validates this dual symbolism.)
Morning of October 27, 2017. Friday. I am back in the Loomis Street house (where I have not been since February 1994) and sitting in the armchair (recliner) my brother-in-law Bob usually sat in (though my relatives are not present). A few unfamiliar people are present as well as my wife Zsuzsanna (though younger). There is an unknown male sitting at the dining room table (west end). I am reading articles in a number of different magazines over time. They are older magazines, possibly from the late 1960s, and I find them interesting. I look for articles of a similar theme or series but cannot seem to find all the ones I want to read after I find the first article as “perfect”. Eventually, I hear music, and sing perfectly (that is, I correctly sing all the lyrics) along with it. “You crawl along the sand, and over twisted hand, but you cannot find your way, while that gull up in the air, he’s gonna circle there, and then he’s gonna fly away…” “And you see the fog move in, and it blankets the shore, but it can’t blanket sin, and so as long as you’re going to stay, down on the sand that way, you are never gonna win…” “You build a driftwood fire, and as the flames grow higher, they don’t help you find your way, for the smoke burns your weary eyes, and then you start to cry, and crying only blurs the way…” “And you see the fog move in…” The unknown male makes some sort of sarcastic comments about the music, indicating he does not like it. For some reason, I assume he is a religious zealot of some kind. “That was one of my favorite songs when I was a boy,” I say. “I don’t care what you think.” I then call him a few rude names. “You like to control people and make them like you,” I continue, “with your religious beliefs…” I tell him that he should like the song because it has the word “sin” in it, and he is the type to complain about other people “sinning” (aka “enjoying life”) based on his own failures. I start talking more loudly, saying how his main purpose seems to be to control other people’s minds. I call him more rude names. I tell him I do not like pop music. Eventually, I realize that he has gotten up from sitting at the table and has somehow become only about five inches tall (apparently due to my yelling at him). He is running around in an open area on the south side of the room, where the bay window is no longer present as the house is directly open to the side yard. There is an analog television there (directly where the wall would otherwise be), but of which is mostly hollow. He scurries in and out of it zigzagging around that area as a young version of Zsuzsanna looks on. I perceive this would-be preacher as the homeless male (though not a hippie) living on the beach. I realize that I have yelled at him enough, as he might disappear completely if I continue, and I do not want to be responsible for eliminating someone that controls other people’s minds even if I am free of such influence. From here, I wake. This is the second time recently when the preconscious has atypically been rendered as very small, the other instance being in “Another ‘Supernatural’ Adventure” from the 25th of this month, though this time under my command, which is very rare (though happened in “War of the Serpents” from September 1969 when I took control of RAS and put the upright moving snake, the most dynamic RAS waking trigger, back to sleep and then carried it like a baby). The hollow television symbolizes being in the dream state without a potential for cohesive continuity (which acknowledges there is “no more picture”, similar to the small living idols mimicking the falling or sliding hypnopompic waking trigger in my last “Supernatural” dream), though it is curious how this song came to mind, as I have not heard it in a long time. These dreams seem to be the result of reflecting upon a few times in the past (as I had planned on writing about it in more detail soon) when I had apparent control over RAS to avoid the waking start. Direct control over RAS in non-lucidity is probably ill-advised, though it seems to only result in oversleeping and sometimes mild nausea (the same as with fainting I guess, since RAS is involved with both, though I have never fainted in my life).
Morning of October 25, 2017. Wednesday. There are two types of dream scenarios influenced by the “Supernatural” television series; ones in which I am “in” the show’s world (without realizing that it is fiction) and ones in which I am aware of the Winchesters as their real-life counterparts as actors and on the set of the show or another location. This dream is of the former type; I am “in” the world where “Supernatural” is imagined as “real”. Sam and Dean, and apparently their father, have discovered a portal to another world, though it is more like a pocket universe in the form of a large cave. They need to retrieve something deeper within the cave, such as important maps or other documents and possibly treasure. There are unusual features related to working near the opening of this cave. There is a small pond as well as some sort of dynamic staircase that rises from the pond and which changes in position and orientation (including upside-down). At one point, there are very loud footsteps and vibrations that imply a giant anthropomorphic creature approaching the mouth of the cave from inside; a giant manlike beast that wakes up when the portal is open, apparently preventing people from going farther into the cave, though I never see this giant. They close the portal for a time, though I decide to run off and hide in an orange grove. I think about which orange tree would be the most suitable to hide behind. At this point, it seems like the orange grove across the street from my Cubitis home (where I have not lived since 1978), which then implies that the portal was in about the center of the Cubitis living room, bilocated as such (environmental bilocation being a very common aspect of my dreams since childhood, yet of which I hardly ever see other people write about). Absentmindedly, I go back to the location where Sam and Dean are. They seem very cheerful. They have an unusual advantage now. There are two living idols that are on our side of the portal that are preventing two smaller living idols from going back into the entrance of the cave. The smaller ones are only about a foot high and the other two about two feet in height. They look somewhat like Maori idols. I watch the smaller two try to get back into the cave, but they eventually give up because of the larger two guarding it. They then go to a playground and have fun sliding down the slide, exclaiming “wee” and giggling. I watch the activity of these unusual living statues for a few minutes. Sam and Dean are now getting what they want from the cave. The giant will sleep when the two small idols are not present inside. He could not possibly wake up otherwise. From here, I absentmindedly wander off into a featureless field (a common liminal space setting in my dreams, especially in the last scene), which seems to be at night. A beautiful young girl approaches though I do not fully recognize her as a young version of Zsuzsanna (even though she is, though my conscious self identity is still subliminal and my non-lucid dream self amnesiac and of fictitious dynamics). We hug and kiss but she says something about needing to go somewhere. I assume I will see her again later as my dream fades. Since early childhood, other than literal prescience (including biological foreshadowing as well as premonitory factors of the waking jolt itself) and many other literal features, my dreams have easily been seen as mostly being about dreaming and waking in real time (and the symbolism as such, obviously as it is a mental process in real time) rather than the nebulous and ill-informed concept of “interpretation” that many people believe in for whatever reason. The same is true for this dream. The cave represents the status of being unconscious (including the redundant factor of a dream as if of “another world” that “hides” the conscious self identity) as well as deeper levels of memory (validated by the Cubitis setting, not seen in real life since 1978). The four idols represent dynamics of the reticular activating system, which mediates the level of consciousness (and is responsible for the nature of waking symbolism, sometimes utilizing real-life environmental ambiance or physical discomfort of sleeping position). The two smaller idols (emergent consciousness factors, unfeasibly otherwise modeled after the preconscious, representing the two brain hemispheres) need to be present to activate waking, yet the two larger idols (dream-based figures representing my subliminal desire to sleep longer) prevent them from causing the giant to wake. The two smaller idols still playfully simulate waking (to indicate that waking up is not so bad) by playfully going down the slide, which is akin to the common biological falling sensation of waking. After this, a young Zsuzsanna (mostly as she appeared when we first met in real life, though she is wearing slacks and a blouse) is rendered as the emergent consciousness factor to “try again”. This time, coalescence waking symbolism is the key and the feasible result, which symbolizes both my dream self’s coalescence back into my conscious self identity, my link to the familiar, and the dawning of conscious self identity recognition, which is not present in many dream states. “Beyond the Martian Time Barrier / The Martian Casket” from 1973 is a very good example of the same core symbolism. The status of sleeping and waking bilocated in the center of the Cubitis living room in mostly the same way, though in that dream, REM sleep was also symbolized as the “sleeping” Martian’s eyes being seen to move realized as being mine as reflected back. In that case, there was not an additional waking symbolism segment as here, as it was not needed.
Morning of October 22, 2017. Sunday. In the last segment of an otherwise sensual dream of the usual daily sequences, I am aware of Zsuzsanna eventually standing directly behind fancy batwing doors, inside the building we had made love in, as I am now on a public footpath. The batwing doors actually seem to have the evenly divided silhouette of a bat at the top as well as stained glass panels very similar to the Barolin Street house windows. The setting seems to be a three-storey hotel of an 1800s style, though there is not a clear essence of being in the distant past. There is a vague association with Brooklyn, though the location is otherwise unknown. She is wearing an old-fashioned but very fancy red corset. She is also wearing a black cowgirl hat with at least four diamonds horizontally across the front. She seems very cheerful. Even though I am not fully lucid at this point, probably just on the threshold of active lucidity (and my conscious self identity is mostly present), I still start to vaguely reflect upon the waking symbolism elements though not fully in recalling what a dream is (a common ambiguity that cannot be resolved in conscious afterthought). I recognize the doorway waking symbolism (a doorway symbolizing the exit point of a dream) and consider the flight symbol element (the “bat wings”). Red is usually the last color (or dominating color) seen prior to waking, though usually only when I have been sleeping a bit too long. The cowgirl hat with diamonds symbolizes the activation of the emergent consciousness factor. Just as I start thinking about “lights on” or “lights off” without fully realizing what I am contemplating, I wake. Despite my dreams usually having the same core symbolism since early childhood, they are intriguingly rendered in a virtually infinite number of combinations. For example, I can easily compare this dream with “A Bat Not a Mistletoe” (from December 2012) where, instead of the doorway waking symbolism utilizing sensuality and batwing doors, what was believed to be a mistletoe turns out to be a rubber bat nailed directly above a regular doorway. Both dreams redundantly synthesized the “return flight” element (that is, return flight waking symbolism, a factor of over one in five of my dreams since early childhood) with doorway waking symbolism. The flight element in both dreams is static and artificial (divided wooden bat silhouette in this dream and rubber bat in the 2012 dream), which relates to anticipatory knowledge of the waking transition as of the involuntary abdominal movement in waking rather than my more common back spasm waking event. Dreams are biologically self-premonitory this way, though the (ascending) reticular activating system (RAS) does sometimes seem a vessel for control in some cases, which I have experimented with at times since early childhood, but with usually unpredictable results, with the problematic ambiguous nature of triggering it just by thinking of it, the aspects very similar to trying to control the dynamics of a sneeze.
Morning of October 17, 2017. Tuesday. My wife Zsuzsanna and our family as we appear now are living in the Cubitis house. There is a gentle rain. I am aware that our oldest son will be returning from his job (same job as in real life despite the erroneous 1978 setting of Florida rather than here in Australia). I contemplate if one of us should go and get him so that he will not get wet walking back in the rain. Zsuzsanna says that she will when the time comes. I am in the living room with Zsuzsanna. I look out the windows into the Cubitis backyard (it seems to be late morning but still raining) and notice a row of tall purple larkspurs that are close to the windows, under the awnings, and parallel to the entire east side of the house. They are not yet in full bloom. I think about asking Zsuzsanna when she planted them (perhaps very early on the previous morning), as I do not recall when she could have done this, which puzzles me slightly as I consider how wonderfully industrious and sedulous she is. In an area near the center of the large backyard are a few weeds where there is otherwise mostly short grass, but I also see about three or four potato plants in a couple random spots. It is raining, so I will pull out the weeds later. There is a vivid sense of love and peace. Zsuzsanna tells me that our oldest son will probably be off work about an hour early, as people do not usually shop there when it is raining. (This turned out to be prescient curiously enough, and it has not happened in this way before. I fail to see why people would stay home from shopping just because it is raining, but I guess I forgot that some people are “depressed” by rainy weather, whereas I am not.) I have been a devoted dream journalist all my life (and I even married my literal dream girl) and yet have never held any interest or belief in “interpretation”, mainly because my dreams, other than literally prescient threads, naturally decode themselves prior to fully waking, revealing their origins and manner of synthesis, but also because my dreams have held the same basic components and patterns, especially variations of waking symbolism and the same RAS triggers (such as emergent alertness to real environmental noise) since early childhood. Look closely at the threads that are accurate and those that have no basis for accuracy. My personified subconscious (dream self) is aware that I am happily married to Zsuzsanna, yet we are living in a house in America (Florida), where Zsuzsanna (and our children) have never been and I have not been since 1978 when I was only seventeen. (Zsuzsanna and our children have always lived in Australia.) This is not even the house in Wisconsin I was living in years before Zsuzsanna and I first began writing to each other. My dream self is aware that it is raining in real life at our present location (and in fact, this dream began within seconds of falling asleep again) and (again, as in the above paragraph) I am in a different house in my dream, also aware that it is raining, yet without the awareness of where I am in time and space (and how interesting is that?). I am aware that our oldest son has a job and even the exact location of where he works, and yet again, there is no conflict between the impossible contrast of living in Cubitis (an isolated rural area through which only a small highway intersected) and in an urban area in a different country. (My dream self usually does not find the implication of either bilocation or mixed-up composites, which are very common in my dreams, as unusual in any way.) I am aware that there are weeds in our backyard in real life (it has been raining continuously for a few days), yet (again) this is rendered into the backyard of an incorrect setting. Despite the otherwise fictional nature of this scenario, there are a few real-life factors, and even a typical thread of prescience (which I have always experienced on a day-to-day basis, yet do not always go into detail about as my entries are often already very long).
Morning of September 13, 2012. Thursday. I become lucid in a slow entry transition (the usual lucid and willfully manipulated hypnagogia after making love in real life) and our bedroom takes on different features. Of course, there is still the residual energy of wanting more intimacy and sustained harmony. Zsuzsanna and I eat strawberries (on a small yellow plate) at one point. After our romance and intimacy, I am somewhat in a non-lucid state now. I become puzzled, more over my decreasing level of awareness (but which vivifies in the last scene) than by the fact our bedroom is rendered with the wrong layout (not directly linked to the lounge room and kitchen as it is in real life). The paint on the horizontal wall boards is peeling (yet it was not before) which I vaguely recall means that my dream is beginning to ebb, yet my lucidity is no longer viable. I feel an urge to see if the door is open and it is. I approach the doorway. There is nothing visible beyond. I feel puzzled by an anticipatory mood emerging from within me. The Cat in the Hat’s hat appears in the doorway, though with no cat. It floats in the air, tips slightly forward and I feel amused, waking with cheerfulness and humor. This dream has the usual dynamics as have been in the same sequential components (through tens of thousands of dreams) since early childhood, though I have grown to appreciate, enjoy, and greatly respect how the nuances are always slightly different. Firstly, it is doorway waking symbolism, where a doorway is rendered as the dream’s implied exit point as an emergent consciousness factor (sometimes triggered by real-life environmental noise but not always, as the reticular activating system often uses the memory of a door knock or door-opening sound to activate waking, though no door knock occurs in this case). Secondly, the sense of puzzlement is what causes the stovepipe hat to be rendered. Although “The Skunk” is an early childhood dream from 1965, it has very similar dynamics, where the white part of the skunk formed a question mark when I entered the higher liminal space of unconsciousness while becoming closer to consciousness (and also ends with doorway waking symbolism). Stovepipe hats represent the emergent consciousness and the concept is related to “put on your thinking cap” as analogous to waking from the dream state (emergence of thinking skills which the non-lucid dream self does not possess). They have featured as such in a number of my dreams since childhood. Finally, the essence of a cat is linked but not fully. Depending on the dream of course, cats often serve as a liminal space symbol. This is mainly because of my childhood association of a cat sitting on a fence, a fence being the division between unconsciousness and emerging consciousness.
Morning of October 13, 2017. Friday. My wife Zsuzsanna and our children are living in the Loomis Street house (with no recall on my part that she has never been to America and no recall of my relatives of whom lived in the house). Although our youngest son is the age he is now, our youngest daughter is a baby. We all seem to be going out as a family, though I am not sure if it includes a shopping trip or perhaps a movie. At one point, I begin to have concern about where our youngest daughter has gotten off to, though I consider that, as she is a baby, she would probably not have gone off on her own somewhere, at least very far. As I am sitting on the couch in the living room (facing north as it was in reality when I was last there) and our youngest son is to my left in an armchair and getting ready for us to go out, I see that our baby daughter is inside one of my shoes on the floor in front of me, though a bit to my left. I see her face looking out from the opening of my shoe. She is lying on her back looking out. I am puzzled about how she ended up inside my shoe like this. Perhaps she crawled into it and had fallen asleep for a time. I do not consider that her size is impossibly small. I am somewhat relieved that I now know where she is. I am concerned about her for a short time. She makes a couple faces, but also seems to be holding her breath at one point, her cheeks puffing out. My concern passes as she continues to make different faces, moving her mouth and eyes in unusual ways. She seems cheerful and amused. It always amazes me how vivid a dream can be and realistic in some ways yet totally absurd in others, and yet my non-lucid dream self does not question such impossible nonsense at all.
Morning of October 9, 2017. Monday. Zsuzsanna and I are sleeping in our bed in our present home, the bed being of the same orientation as in reality, though I perceive the house as somewhat different. It seems to be early morning. Looking to my left, I see a tiger in a cage. It is close to our bed and parallel and longways to our bed. The tiger is lying on its stomach and does not seem either agitated or threatening. There are ambiguous thoughts that cause me to contemplate that the “cage” (with vertical bars) is actually a baby cot, as, in real life, the cot is in this location and also has vertical bars. After a short time, I feel movement. It takes me a few seconds to realize that our bed is moving westerly, head first, rather than the “cage” being towed away easterly as I first considered (as there was a vague thought that it was part of a train). I see a tall shadow on the wall (the part of the wall where our last telephone was in real life). I first “realize” that it is my shadow, then I realize that the bodily proportions are wrong and it is probably our youngest son (even though his head’s silhouette almost reaches the ceiling). This makes me consider, in semi-lucidity, that he is awake (which was true). The setting is then back to normal. No tiger, no movement. Most of this dream is based on residual literal memory carried into the dream state. This is especially true of a bed scene, which is sometimes more of a result of a partial waking unless there is more distortion or a different location, though it is still not symbolic, simply the subliminal memory of having fallen asleep. As already mentioned, we do have a “cage” (cot) to the left of our bed in reality. Additionally, there is a very large wall clock featuring a tiger in our lounge room, to the left of the door. The dream state confusion (basic thinking skills are not usually extant in non-lucid dreams) of a tiger image and the cot is unsurprising and not mysterious at all, especially as we have small stuffed tigers (of a somewhat realistic appearance) that had been in the cot at times in the past. A telephone’s location (even if no longer relevant to where one is now) relates to the dream self’s subliminal awareness of communication with the conscious self identity or other factors outside of the dream state. A human shadow is usually my conscious self identity “looking into” (metaphorically) the dream state. In this case however, it was seemingly our youngest son. My dream self was perceiving his real physical essence as he was already awake.
Morning of October 7, 2017. Saturday. In the first part of my dream, I am seated at a picnic table, though it appears to be some sort of school. I am sitting at the third picnic table from the front of the class where the teacher is. (I am sitting in about the middle on the side opposite the side closest to the front of the room. I am facing the front of the room.) At one point, a young version of Zsuzsanna comes in and sits down directly on my left. The teacher objects to this, claiming that my talking to other students will distract from the class. I threaten him and tell him that he should not be so disrespectful of natural human relationships. He comes over to us with a folded piece of paper, opens it, and starts trying to “teach” us about vampires, zombies, and fictional creatures in general, that is, integrating them into a calculus problem, and I inform him that those are not even real, not a part of life (at least my life), and I then tell him that he is crazy and should not be teaching such garbage. Eventually, there is some sort of activity outside. Apparently, a road has been altered by some sort of “flaw in time”. I and the other students start to take notes to determine what the source of the problem is. The road is unusual, as traveling in one direction, one sees roadkill (at least three unidentifiable dead animals) but traveling in the opposite direction, one sees a couple rabbits and a groundhog or two. These are apparently the animals that have died when traveling from the other direction. I start to consider that it may actually relate to the mentality and beliefs of the people walking or driving down that road. The students stand in a long line along the road (parallel to the road) doing calculus equations to discover what is going on. I notice a young boy who is writing on a large sheet of paper. I tell him to make sure he is solving the vertical parts of the equation (such as complex fractions, though the imagery actually does have unrealistic longer vertical sequences including sigma summation in vertical form) as well as the horizontal and he nods and tells me that he is. I then ask him if he knows what the symbols are, specifically the “sideways M” (sigma), and he nods again. I look again to see if there are any symbols for vampires or other nonsense. My dream fades from here.
Morning of October 7, 2017. Saturday. Dream #: 18,555-02. Reading time: 2 min 20 sec. Before my dream, in waking life, I repeated an affirmation, “I invite the infinite healing power of Universal Mind into all areas of our bodies” (alternating with “my body”). Consider how a car is an extension of the imaginary physicality of the dream state and how “power” becomes “powder” (which has occurred with previous dreams). Another alteration is how my dreaming experience transformed my headphones (used for affirmations) into an intoxicating clamshell. After entering the dream state, I allow my conscious awareness to fade for the affirmation to predominate. The affirmation seems to become a string attached to the front bumper of a Matchbox car. (I sometimes use an imaginary rope to pull myself into or out of the dream state.) The Matchbox car is a 1930s convertible. At times, I mentally cause it to become a full-sized automobile. I rapidly drive in an unknown big city while there is a focus on possibly being stopped for speeding. However, the police are always going in the opposite direction. Later, I shrink the car to its Matchbox size and carry it to a wharf. The wharf is at the side of a road where a ladder leads down to a small platform adjacent to a commercial building. An unknown black man is here as well as Zsuzsanna. An unfamiliar woman asks if she can borrow my Matchbox car to sail across the ocean. I cause it to become large enough for her to fit in it, but I place it on a raft. I realize it may not be stable enough, so I tell her I do not think it is a reliable way to travel. Curiously, my hand seems to be as big as the raft as I test its buoyancy and how much weight it can hold. I stand on the side of the road, and the man wants to borrow my car. I whistle for it, and it arrives as a Matchbox car from the other side of town but grows to full size. He gives me a roll of one-dollar notes. When he returns, I feel I should give him something. I hand him the handwritten affirmation (without realizing what it is) that had been in my wallet. I give him some other documents that feature unusual writing and symbols. I enter a cave with the essence of a room in a house. A tunnel, like a long hallway, leads to its entrance. I whistle for my Matchbox car and notice the end of the string near the mouth of my cave. I pull my Matchbox car into the cave using the string. I see an opening in the cave wall to the left of the entrance. I find several ancient artifacts and fossils. One is a ritual clamshell that generates an intoxicating “healing powder” that cavemen used. I slap the clamshell against my ears to become intoxicated, feeling bliss, and comfort. As I am sitting on the cave’s floor, a shadowy caveman figure approaches, though he is more like an ancient ape with a manlike essence. He briefly touches me on the shoulder and knee and has a positive presence. He is like a benevolent spirit or an ancient ghost who goes to another part of the cave. Steve Johnson (a classmate from years ago), and at least three other people, walk through the hallway into my cave. I tell them about the artifacts and “healing powder” and ask if they would like to improve their minds and bodies with it.
Updated 06-15-2020 at 06:50 PM by 1390
Morning of October 6, 2017. Friday. Something has happened to my physical form, but possibly only as I am “sleeping”. I think of myself as a paragraph of writing, in the form of a hazy cloud of about four feet long, hovering a few inches above our bed. Being a paragraph incarnate makes me feel somewhat vulnerable. I am aware of Zsuzsanna sleeping om my left, but my viewpoint is curiously from somewhere in the center of our bed at times. Other than being only a hazy cluster of “words” hovering a short distance above our bed, there is a perception of having an additional “shell” at times, or some sort of armor, but which comes and goes. There is no viable perception of having a physical body. I vaguely remember an affirmation (“I am of the healing powers of Universal Mind”) but I do not fully grasp or sustain it. I turn in my “sleep”. It is like a twisting that “rolls” from “head” to “foot” when I do. It occurs about four times. I am aware that having transformed into the form of a paragraph relates to my illness (food poisoning). I only feel slightly ill in the dream state. Before I am fully awake, I start to realize aspects of this abstract dream’s source. It is quite old and it has been years since this memory was more present. Years ago, in an animated version (shown on television a few times) of “A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur’s Court”, there was a scene where a boy informed the main character that he was a page. The Connecticut Yankee responded by saying something like “A page? You’re no more than a paragraph.” Additionally, having the “armor” around my cloudy form relates to the (King Arthur) knight association with the story. The perceived “suit of armor” is obviously a biological symbol of wishing to be protected from the norovirus. The rest, including “being a paragraph”, is incidental to this association with the Mark Twain story, which I had not thought about for a long time. Since early childhood, my non-lucid dreams, other than prescient or precognitive threads, have often resolved themselves in meaning in a form of light hypnopompic thinking (as well as reveal source patterns that created my dream in the first place), which is often carried directly into conscious afterthought (although this process is occasionally “replaced” by a false awakening where I am writing down my dream or talking about it with someone else). In a way, this has always been like having two dreams in succession, the original dream (often surreal or at least unusual and illogical) and the decoding of its meaning while waking or in a different (much lighter) level of unconsciousness. (It was not until I was about seventeen years old that I started to come to terms with the fact that most people were apparently not like this.)
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